Life Uncut - ASK UNCUT - More than the cleaner bargained for

Episode Date: August 31, 2022

Hello Lifers,We are back with another episode of Life Uncut and Matty J is back behind the helm filling in for Britt answering all your questions from a Man's perspective.Today we are discussing Is it ok to masturbate when your partner is home and they're not aware of it Do guys really care about areole size and vulva shape size Vasectomy - We have 3 kids and I want my partner to get one but he doesn't want to How do I get a guy to commit who is keeping anSsa things casual. He says I’m perfect, I’m exactly the type of girl he would go for but he’s just not in a position for anything serious right now - should I stick it out  If you are looking for more information - where to buy merch, tickets to our live show or to pre order the book 'We Love Love,' visit our website.Thanks to our wonderful sponsor Starbucks At Home, providing delicious creamy coffee in the comfort of your own home. To find our more visit https://www.starbucksathome.com/au/If you loved the episode, you know the drill - Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends and share the love... because.... WE LOVE LOVE!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders, past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode is recorded on Gadigal land of the Aurora Nation. Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. My name happens to be Maddie J.

This is not Brittany, but she will be back next week. No, she's not. No, she is. She's back on Tuesday's episode. Is that confirmed? It's confirmed. 100%? Well, like, yes.

She said so, so I'm going to believe everything she says. you are looking a little bit tired me and you my friend look like shit thanks so much that's so kind of you oh you're welcome darling i'm a little bit sick right now oh and yet i will go and persevere through this podcast record because i love life uncut and those fans out there who want to listen to a man's perspective just to start this off with a tiff we're having a bit of a tiff because now that matt's sick he wants sympathy but i was sick all last week and i got zero sympathy none my goodness well it's the truth i do not want any sympathy in fact far from it i am i did the shopping yesterday i got you weren't sick you woke up sick today

you weren't sick yesterday i was i've been sick for three days well please i've been but when you're sick when you're sick you had these moments where you know it's like it wasn't that you weren't that sick i was deathly on death's bed had to continue to work this is how sick you sounded hey man i'm not feeling too good right now i'm getting a bit of blurred vision and i've started talking with an american accent and i'll be like shut up shut up and feed the kids yeah yeah there's a lot of sympathy a lot of love um we do this to each other though whenever like the other person's sick unless they're actually unless it's like

visibly they can't get out of bed sick we don't have the amount of sympathy that the other person's supposed to have because the other person's just always a bit annoyed by the fact that they got sick yeah you'd have to lose a finger for me to seriously give you some sympathy well it's kind of like when you're at work and somebody who you quite depend on calls in sick and then it just means that you have to do more work it's the same thing in parenting like when you call in sick to parenting I'm like oh fuck now I've got to do it all and yet I've not called in sick I've rocked up and not only am I helping with the kids I've put the washing on I'm also working on a podcast which I do not get paid for well I do I do pay you in coffee I mean leads us into our sponsor of today's

episode I would take advantage of the fact that I love coffee you're like come over here you'll get a cuppa and I'm like I'll do it I'll do anything for the smell of a cup of coffee but I do want to say a very big thank you to starbucks at home who have been a long-term partner of the podcast but who have made this episode possible starbucks at home offers three signature roasts and intensities blonde medium and dark so no matter how you like your coffee whether it's smooth and creamy or roasting intense you can make the perfect cup yeah and if you want to up your coffee confidence check out starbucks at home now i just want to say a thank you to everybody who's written in questions for maddie j and also me but mostly for matt to answer from a man's perspective

Before we do that, can I just tell a story of how you totally screwed me over the other day? Absolutely stitched me up. Was that on purpose? Was that on purpose? No. And I forgot. And I would never intentionally try and embarrass you. Okay.

I mean, it does make good content though, doesn't it? I feel like this was all orchestrated to just get some content for the podcast. I'm like, we're running low. Things are really dry this week. How can I fuck up Matt's life? So we have quite a messy house at the moment and we just needed a little bit of help. Well, we don't now because the cleaner has come and now it's looking immaculate. It looks fantastic.

She did a very good job. So she may be a little bit traumatized and I don't know if she'll ever come back, but she did a very good job. It'd be a shame because she's a very good cleaner. Such a great cleaner. So the other day, Laura and I were talking. It had been a little while since we have had some intimate time. Look, this might be too much information, but it's been, or it had been, three weeks.

At least six months. It's been three weeks, which is a long time, but I got sick, had my period. Look, too much information, but it's been three weeks. It was time to enjoy each other's company, and I was very excited. I also couldn't breathe because of my sinuses. Everything was blocked. I can't kiss you when I have blocked sinuses. You don't need to kiss me.

That's absolutely fine. Take that off the list. non-essential non-critical i'm fine with that it does feel a little bit strange i think we have had sex before we haven't kissed each other yeah because i've like when i get periora dermatitis i can't kiss you also if i've just put my creams on i don't want to kiss you either totally understand yeah pretty woman style fine yeah these are conditions which i'm like yeah we will still proceed proceed to the root so laura was talking to me she'd mentioned that she was coming home early from work i was at home working hard obviously and we had been texting throughout

the day because it was all at this point in your life sex is normally quite premeditated it's not just some like off the cuff spur of the moment oh my gosh let's do it right now it's like sometimes but it's it's not like that when you've got two very small children like we've got toddlers like things are a little bit more scheduled these days yeah we had to like have a meeting to schedule in when we would have sex over the next course of a few months it's like written in the diary like 3 p.m sexy time oh i know i did not forget about it i was like laura just reminding you that we have sex this afternoon whatever you were doing cancel it and come home i'd prefer this one not to be over zoom so i was primed and ready and i thought primed and ready what were you doing

greasing myself up you were just you were in your underwear which is like i thought it would be sexy but you you did it's not like you were when you say you were primed and ready it wasn't like you're walking around with a rock hard boner you were just you were just in your undies which you could have been at any point during the day you often just walk around your undies true true so I was at home keys are jingling at the door my initial instinct is ah she's here and let's just let me just preface this before I gave Matt a kind of a window of time as to when I would be home I said I'd be home an hour before we had to go pick the kids up yes this was earlier than that hour I was sitting at the door like a puppy waiting for their owner to come home in that window i didn't

do anything else tv was off phone was put away that's a lie yeah but i thought who else could it be but laura at the door there was keys there was never any question in my mind that it wasn't going to be you although i was wrong so as i hear the keys jingling whilst i'm in my undies i spring up you know this is this is my moment i go i grab the door handle i fling open the door greet my fiance and it's not laura it's it's paula paula the cleaner who's holding a vacuum and a mop bucket she's lovely she's so nice she's divine can i just say paula if you're listening you are an absolute angel of a woman and a great cleaner what did she say she was looking at me i was looking at her and i there was just this pause where i was trying to like i was trying

to compute what was happening because i was expecting it to be you and you're like oh well this will do come on paula so i had so then i had to fix with the cleaner she didn't know what was going on but she gave her a great tip not good to find out that that's what happened no look No, I just said, I just said, hello. And she's like, oh, I'm here to clean the house. And I said, give me a second, put some clothes on. And then I was like, just going to pretend that that never happened. And I was like, well, you know, this is the living room and it's quite dirty.

And, you know, here's everything else. And I'm just going to lock myself in my bedroom. You should have just said to her, sorry, I was just folding my pants. Yeah, in hindsight, you know, I could have said I'm just doing the washing. And she, you know, maybe I could have explained the erection. I should have just said, look, it's been six months since I've had sex with my wife. She's due home any second. I apologize.

To be fair, I had forgotten that Paula had also given me a window of time as to when she would come and clean the house. It was organized a week earlier. I'd been very busy and I completely forgot. Completely forgot. That is so unlike you, Laura. It truly wasn't an intentional stijam. Key details. Anyway, I don't know.

Paula will be back. We didn't have sex. It was a disaster Maybe tonight's night though You say that every time Don't tease me like that You always Okay

Can I just say At this hour of the day You often say Well hey Tonight could be A lot can happen Between 11am And 7pm at night

A lot can happen A lot changes If you play your cards right Young man You may be in luck And then come 8 o'clock I'm tired You look at me

As if You know I'm asking you to run a marathon You literally are. I want you to sprint 100 metres. No. That's all I need. 100 metres, it'll be over in 10.5 seconds.

It's not going to be three and a half hours for you to endure. Anyway, let's move on to the next thing. But maybe tonight? No, tonight I've got an event on. Tomorrow night. Maybe this afternoon. Maybe before the kids come home and Paula arrives. she's booked in she's booked in for round two okay i have something that i want to talk to

you about before we get into answering all your deep dark and your burning questions and that's because i read this yesterday and i truly couldn't believe what i was reading to be honest there is a man in the uk he has been jailed sentenced to 34 months in prison oh god that's more than two years yeah that's that's that's serious like assault with a deadly weapon no no well maybe okay this is this is the article matthew hopgood good name hapgood sorry matthew hapgood matthew hopwood out there go oh you got the name wrong sorry because you said the name you said the name wrong i'm gonna edit that so so the first name that you said he would be listening going oh my gosh

they're gonna out me and my crimes stop but it's hapwood shut up i'm not gonna edit all that out you're just making my leave it in there leave it in there okay people will laugh shut up okay okay matthew hap matthew hapgood according to several news reports matthew hapgood stop you don't even know why are you laughing when you don't even know the story yeah it's funny already okay matthew hapgood according to his name six times we get the name according to several news reports matthew hapgood was apprehended for shot lifting on march 21st the 41 year old man was arrested for nicking 33 pounds worth of beer and cider from tesco not that much is it if you're gonna

rob a store at least do a good job yeah that's not what he got arrested this is not what he was imprisoned for during the course of his arrest hapgood farted in the officer's face he has been put in prison for 32 months that's more than two years for cupcaking a police officer did he cupcake well i don't think he i don't think he caught it in his hand and put it over the guy's mouth he did it he farted directly in the guy's face I'm sure. That's quite a severe sentence. This mustn't have been his first time doing this.

The judge is like, ah, Matthew. He's a repeat offender. Yeah, Matthew, is it? Ah, farting and cupcaking again. This is the fifth time. I do find the name very amusing in this, though, Matthew. It's someone else's. Look, if we were going to sentence you for all of the farts that you've done,

it would probably be a life sentence, wouldn't it? Oh, don't drag me into this. Don't put me in the same category as Matthew Hathwood. Also though, look, I understand, I understand spitting in an officer's face. I know that that is like a disgusting, like it is, that is prison time. But I feel like farts are often involuntary. Like what if he was pinning him down and he was being handcuffed and the guy just out of surprise.

The burrito he had for lunch was all of a sudden making him a little bit gassy. Yeah, or maybe he was squishing him when he was arresting him or something and he squished it out. Like he put pressure on his lower back. Yeah, and it just popped out. Yeah, we've all had an accident before. And the police officer's like, that's assault. It could have been an accidental fart.

It could have been an accident. I also think, like, in that moment, how do you intentionally fart? That's what I really want to know. How do you go, you know what, I'm going to fucking show you, I am going to fart on demand in your face. Unless he was, like, trying to be arrested, hands behind the back, and then Matthew wraps his legs around the police officer's face and then goes, on his face.

like that could that could be seen to be intentional it could be seen to be intentional but i always wonder what would the conversation be like in prison when you know obviously the cellmates are talking about the crimes that they've done and someone's like attempted murder you know assault and then matthew's like i'm i'm a farter that's why i'm here because i fart on people's faces he's a hardened criminal well okay big shout out to our men and women in blue out there. Keeping us safe. Dealing with all the things that are thrown at them or forced upon them. Should we get into the questions? Let's do the questions. All right. Okay. Thank you to everybody who has written in questions for today's episode. It is very nice to have you here, Matthew

Johnson, a man's perspective. And I thought we should kick it off. Actually, do you know what? We get so many sex questions when you're on the podcast. Like people are really, they want to know about our sex life and I feel like we've established that it's just not that wild at the moment. Not that much happening. There's not that much happening

so I don't know why people are so interested in it but I've got a question for you. Is it okay to masturbate while your partner is at home? I don't think I have masturbated. No, that's a lie. I have.

Wait, where was I? Asleep. Oh, that's different. Yeah. Yeah, like you're not going to wake me up and be like how are you feeling? Are you ready for it?

I have done that before. yeah and that's fine you're like shut up but i mean come back to bed if someone's asleep and you're horny maybe having a shower whatever like yeah that's fine i get it i don't think that's no problem i think i think the question that you could ask is is it okay to masturbate whilst your partner is in the same house and awake okay let's make it that question then and you haven't propositioned them for sex you've just you've already just completely ruled out the option of having sex with them and you're just like i'd rather do it myself what about if you have your period what do you mean well i know you don't like to have sex on your period i can have

sex in my period you don't like having sex in my period oh my god do not put this on me i don't mind is it what have we been doing for five years yeah i always thought i thought you didn't no you have literally said to me before it's not it's not my favorite yeah maybe i did say yeah you did yeah but now you're like i'll take it i don't care whatever let's do it um i i think i think it's fine i think the issue would be if if i knew that you were in a position where you were wanting to have sex and i rejected that option in favor of masturbating yeah i totally agree i think of course it's fine you've got body autonomy do what you want with your own body when you want it you don't have to ask for permission but if your sex life is already affected like if there's if one

person is feeling undesired or they're wanting more sex or they're wanting just you know more intimacy from you and then you're opting to masturbate without even having a conversation with them or bringing them in on that then I think that that probably is a red flag for a greater issue but if you have a great and healthy sex life you shouldn't take offense to the fact that your partner wants to also masturbate I don't think it I don't think that that needs to be a reflection that there's something wrong i think some people would take it to offense because it does feel like you know i guess a sense of rejection that an act which should be done with your partner you're favoring doing it in isolation yeah but also it shouldn't just be done with your partner like i

think there's nothing wrong with wanting to not have the the full commitment that say it say like to have sex obviously there's more involved it's more effort it's more energy it's more everything if you're just okay look you know gotta just rub one out before I go to sleep I don't think that that's a big deal so long as it's not affecting your actual sex life and if it is affecting your sex life then that's a very different conversation and then that's where it becomes a problem but I guess you won't know that unless you have a bit of an open conversation about it and you can also talk to your partner and say like you know would it offend you if I did this in the instance that you're not actually up for it or you're tired or I'm not up for sex in that moment like does it

offend you if i did do this i think you would get some interesting answers out of your partners if you actually had that conversation with them i do find that sometimes i'll sleep much better if i have a bit of maddie j time before i go to bed and it takes me about two minutes in the shower thank you for sharing that yeah too much so every night that i'm like how'd you sleep last night you're like really good i'll be like all right well there we go that's a bit too much wouldn't Go in the shower if I was you. Paula, please don't clean the shower. Paula is never coming back and she's never going to clean our bathroom.

Fuck, I'm going to have to find a new cleaner. Cleaners are so fucking hard to find. All right, I have another question. How do I get a guy to commit who is keeping things casual? He says I'm perfect, that I'm exactly the type of girl that he would go for, but he's just not in a position for anything serious right now. Should I stick it out in hopes that he changes his mind? is there anything that i can do to convince him that now is the right time no there is absolutely

nothing you can do that guy is just a bit of a fuck boy yeah it's exactly what this is and it's such a such a cop-out to be like you're such a great girl you know everything that i i'm looking for except it's just not the right time i hate that i hate that so much i like looking back in the past i have definitely been in situations where i've just the easy excuses hey it's just you know, I'm focusing on work right now and I've just ended another relationship. So it's just not right for me to get into another full-time relationship. What I really mean is, or what I, you know, what I was insinuating is that I'm just pretty happy to have some casual sex right now. I'm sure so many people have read the book or seen the movie. He's just not that into you.

That is a fucking brutal thing to like have that messaging. But, but it's like, if somebody is not making you a priority, but they're making excuses around why they can't possibly make you a priority at the moment. I think that that goes a really long way in saying, you know, it's not about waiting for them. It's not about putting your life on hold. It's simply about finding someone who proactively chooses and wants to be with you because you could be in this sort of situationship experience or relationship for an indefinite amount of time. You could do this for a year until he turns around and says, oh, but I told you, or they like, it doesn't, it's not just guys who do this. Anyone can do this. They turn around and say to you, oh, I told you I wasn't really

looking for a relationship so you can't be that upset that i don't want to do this anymore and you've just invested all of this time into something that truly meant nothing to them i know i know guys out there not myself i would never do this who would always caveat being intimate and also saying really beautiful things to that person later on saying oh but you know i don't want anything too serious but in the moment love bombing them doing everything that is synonymous with being in a full-time relationship but then kind of saying at the back end oh yeah but you know I can't I can't commit I told you that I'm really sorry yeah and I think like so many people do that so many people get caught up in the emotion of being with someone

like they they want to say they say the nice things they treat you like they're dating you they treat you like they're invested in you but if ultimately they're saying at the end of that I don't want to be in a relationship like now is not the right time I am focusing on work whatever other excuse it is if you want a relationship and they're they're telling you to your face that they do not want a relationship with you then i think you have to disregard all the other nice things that they do and say in the heat of the moment that gives you hope because the reason why they do that is to keep you invested you're a bench warmer you're you're a fucking bench warmer they're doing that to keep you invested while they're still able they're still able to

get their sex they're still able to have a girlfriend or boyfriend on tap they're still able to tap into what feels like a warm fuzzy relationship but they have absolved themselves of any sense of guilt, of any sense of responsibility over you, of any sort of sense of commitment by saying, but I don't want a relationship. What's the saying? Is it a bird in the bush is worth twice in the city or something? What?

I don't know. You know, what I'm trying to say is I'm really bad with sayings. Like you shouldn't do them then. Really bad with sayings. But you know what they say? It's better to have something than nothing. Oh, as in like people like to just keep someone there until something better comes and when i say something better i don't mean better as in like

that there is a person that is better than you no i think that is true no but but it's just a person that's different that's better suited to what they're looking for like there's no one per like and that can be a real it can be such a hard pill to swallow like you know i remember in my past i was in a long situationship for almost a year actually for over a year and he always sort of said oh like now i'm too busy with work i can't invest in you i don't want to be with you and I kind of thought if I stuck it out longer then when his work calmed down we would end up being together what happened well we never ever ended up being together and three months after we broke up he got a girlfriend who he's still with and is getting married to fuck off you're

kidding no you're kidding but so that what did you do were you like thanks pal nothing I guess I just had to take what I mean obviously you can read between the lines and it I was over him and over the relationship by the time I left it but like yeah there is definitely a bit of you that feels like fuck okay I wasn't good enough for you but it's not that I wasn't good enough for him I just wasn't what he was looking for and that's okay yes that is brutal I think you've told me that story before but I was good enough for you yes yeah yeah I'll take you come here not a problem you'll do just fine one man's trash is another man's treasure

okay let's get into the next question vasectomies ah vasectomies even the word makes me feel a little bit squeamish see this is why it is so interesting okay as a man p johnson what are your views on getting a vasectomy we have three children together and my husband has had an appointment several years ago but he keeps on putting off the procedure and it is creating a real point of tension for us i want him to go and have a vasectomy that he is choosing to delay it even though i know he doesn't want any more children what do you think of this i think the thing that scares guys about vasectomies is the fact that it just maybe it's the idea of it being i know it's not permanent you can get

them reversed. It doesn't always work, but it's just the fact that it seems like once you cross that line, there is no going back. And I think there's something about that, which scares guys. And it's weird because obviously if you're in a relationship where you've got three kids, you're very happy. You don't want to go down the route of having kids with another person. Surely it shouldn't matter. But I don't know, for me, there's still, I don't know, maybe it's the fact that maybe it feels like part of your masculinity is being taken away like your masculinity and your manhood is tied to your ability to reproduce i guess then it's also like tied to your virility as a man and and your manhood even i think if you're over the age of 40

i think it's it makes a lot of sense but if we were to say have a child a third child next year and then off the back of that you said i would like you to get a vasectomy I feel like, and this sounds so stupid, but I feel like, hey, I'm still in my prime. I've got so much more to give. Who are you going to give it to? Yeah, it's like asking a sprinter in the Olympics after he's just won gold to cut his leg off because he's retired. No, it's not. That's what it feels like.

Okay, I have some pretty... I'm not saying that is the correct way to feel. It's just the way that I've been conditioned to feel. Would you get a physectomy after we have finished having kids? I think so. yeah yeah i i mean obviously i'm never going to be in another relationship after this one i love you i love you and i think i i can't imagine that we would have more than three kids but there is a little thought in the back of my mind hey maybe we win the lotto right we have

millions of dollars and we're not having more than three children and we decide that we can have four kids because we both don't have to work we have so much money think of the environment and then i go well i can't because i had that vasectomy two years ago so it's not possible so i think if i do get a vasectomy maybe i'll freeze some sperm i mean i i guess with this question i have some pretty strong feelings around it because i know for myself and for the conversations we've had in the past like when we eventually get to the point that we don't want to have any more kids i would hope that you would have a vasectomy because the reason why i say this matt's sitting they're like oh is because so much of the reproductive onus and the and the the impact

it has on your body is carried by the mom or the female totally and it's so i mean everything from getting your periods as a young girl having to manage contraception in your 20s and your 30s having to physically carry a child having to then nurse that child like that is a huge amount of impact and toll that that has on your body you have sacrificed your body for so long to be able to bring children into the world if that's what you choose to do men don't have to do a lot except ejaculate like that's pretty much it in terms of we got it pretty good don't we yeah in terms of their bodily sacrifices that's the only thing so i find the argument of not wanting to get it a really hard one to process because i'm like yes it's something foreign that you have to do to

your body yes it's a you know a day surgery or a keyhole surgery but like we have to do stuff every we have to think about this every single day it's something we have to think about every single week and you're forgetting the fact that as a teenager men get random erections okay that's not being factored in right now that's true there's definitely some things that happen to your body that you have no control over but i guess if you're someone who's who's in a relationship and you have done all of the sacrificing when it comes to your body in terms of being able to create children then i do think that having a vasectomy is literally the most minimal effort that a guy could do that'll wear condoms for the rest of his life if he wants to do that but like

all right give me the number it is it's i just think it's in dude don't you think though like i just think it's such it's such a small sacrifice to make it doesn't change anything about your manhood that is it's very like ego attached and that's that's something that i think society has made us believe is connected to being a man and being masculine but like having a vasectomy doesn't make you any less of a man all it does is it kind of takes that pressure off your partner who has done the child rearing for so long i'm never going to make you get the snip unless you are also an active and willing participant but like i do feel that it's a it's two three and i'm out three three and you're done copy that do you guys really care about areola size and vulva shape and size

what is that what is a vulva or what is an areola uh nipples right little help nipples nipples remember this is the guy who was referring to clitoris as clitoris yeah sorry okay no do i care what did not use specifically but i think a lot of young women actually a lot of like all women i don't think it's just young women a lot of women grow up feeling worried that you know the comparison of what a what a vulva should look like the comparison of what their breasts should look like worried that maybe men might judge them based on the way that they appear do guys really care as much as we think they care about the aesthetic of their nipples and their vulva no not at all guys are just happy to be having sex i think what a

privilege you are lucky to be here buddy totally i don't think the size of nipples i don't know anyone out there who's broken up with a woman because they didn't like the size of her nipples or the size of a vulva yeah good job labia labia i'm learning i'm learning bear with me but i also think guys are equally self-conscious about you know the size of their penis or how their testicles hang you know for me i have very big big toes are guys really self-conscious about how hangy, how low-hung their testicles are. I wouldn't even think about it. Mine hang quite a lot.

Yeah, they do, but I would never. You can't agree with me. I would never, if I saw a guy naked, think, oh, those testicles, gravity's taken hold. It would never, ever even cross my mind to even think about worrying about a guy's testicles. Yeah, in the same way that I don't think any guy really cares about how big someone's nipples are.

You know, it's, it's, it's, I think everyone is as self-conscious about their own bodily appearance than the person that they're having sex with. Something else that we've spoken about before is that I think it's important to know where you're getting your comparison from. So if you think that, you know, maybe that, that your labia looks different or that your nipples look different. We interviewed an incredible woman on the podcast a little while back called Ellie from Comfortable In My Skin.

And Ellie actually has on her website, if you go to Comfortable In My Skin, she has a full gallery and it's called flip through my flaps so you can go on there matt and i have done it once before we've sat on the couch and looked through all of the different vulvas and it's it's actually so good because it helps you to really i mean one you can kind of look through and be like oh mine looks like that girl's vulva but also just shows you how hugely and vastly different everyone's vulvas are and also she has another one called browse through my breasts and there are hundreds and hundreds of boobs in there so you can look at all the different shapes of breast sizes you can also and the thing I thought was really cool about the vulva photos was that

there's women who have scarring from laser hair removal there's people who have had cesareans who have given birth there are there are photos of women who are having their period like it is so hugely varying and I think that sometimes we compare ourselves to maybe images from porn or maybe we compare ourselves to what's deemed the most aesthetic based on society's version do you know what i was most nervous about why when i was a young man it was the fact that of my circle of friends no one had a hairy bum no one everyone everyone had like a beautiful smooth bottom as in men correct yeah yeah me and my my bros and my ass was so hairy you could plait the hair on my arse. For me growing up, I had hardly any hair on my chest next to no hair on my face. And

it all being, it had all come down to my arse. That's where all my hair was when I went through puberty. And I was in my, in my mind, I was like, oh my gosh, I'm the only one with a really hairy arse. Getting changed in the change rooms, I'd have like my back into the corner. So no one would see my hairy arse. That was the biggest thing I had to overcome. But that's the thing. Like everybody has something that they feel insecure about. And I think that especially when you're going into the bedroom with someone new or you know you're first seeing someone naked for the first time people are so worried about their own insecurities and whether that other person thinks they look good that they're not really assessing what like how does this look you know like then

nobody is judging you as much as you're judging yourself and that's I think a really important take-home message and now Laura loves nothing more than to run her fingers through my hairy bottom you have a great bum and I have never looked at your bum and thought that is a hairy ass except except when you came in yesterday and I was I was cleaning up naked no that was because you'd been you were you were bent over and I saw your bum hole that was different it wasn't your hairy bum it was the full picture and I was like oh that's a view thank you into the black abyss it's beautiful thank you so much all right this is the last question I'm thinking about entering the bachelor however I'm really at a point in my life where I want to meet someone do you think

that what you guys have is very very rare in terms of the outcome of the show or do you think it's a possibility i don't think it's that rare i mean there's definitely i mean holly and jimmy just got engaged yeah i think but it's funny some people come up to me and maybe they obviously don't know the the franchise that well and they're they're like oh you're still with your partner yeah laura and i were getting married we have two kids you're like it's a shock to me too but they go oh you must be one of the only successful couples and i'm like no there's There's Tim and Anna, there's Sam and Snezz, there's Jimmy. Lockie got engaged to Loretta.

Yeah, Georgia and Lee. Like if you look at the Bachelorette side of things too. There's so many, except the issue is, the big issue is, well, they've already filmed the latest season, so that's wrapped up. And I reckon, I don't know if The Bachelor is going to come back. Yeah, I would actually, I mean, I second that. I think that's probably a very controversial call, but I don't think there will be another season after this season of Bachelor.

I'd be surprised because unless this season, this new format and how different it is really works in terms of ratings and everything else, but I just think each year it seems to be like going down and down in the ratings and I can't imagine why they would bring it back if it's not sort of getting the numbers. One thing I think also leads to the fact that The Bachelor may be rested is the fact that there's the new love show on Channel 10 called The Love Boat as well,

which seems weird that that's being promoted before Batch. like but I mean okay like let's get back to answering her question I agree with you I don't think that our story is rare like you know I do think it's pretty crazy like we met on a reality tv show that's wild you know but I don't think that our outcome is rare the bachelor has a very good success rate for the final couple however do I think it's a good idea to go on the bachelor with the hope of finding the one in terms of like that being a smart and viable way of meeting someone I think it's a pretty big risk because I think just odds are against you yeah look at the numbers there's 24 girls and there's one guy like that's a the chance of it being you and that being

your love story is pretty slim so I think you have to go in there and I shouldn't say you have to I didn't go on the show thinking that I was going to meet the love of my life like that was an incredible coincidence not a coincidence I mean obviously I hoped oh I fancy seeing you here no but I mean I didn't I didn't expect it I went on there thinking it would be a really cool experience and like wouldn't it be amazing if something did happen but did I sign up for a reality tv show thinking yes this is how I'm going to meet someone no because statistically I thought that's probably a bit of an anomaly so I I think you know if you are at a point in your life where you really really want to be in a relationship you really really want to meet someone you can

sign up and do the experience of reality tv whether it's maths whether it's bachelor but i don't think you should put all your eggs in that basket because you don't even know if you're going to like the person who is cast as the number one person and i think if you go in there with the expectation that you are going to really like them that they that that's your person then you are more inclined to overlook the things about them that aren't actually for you. You got to go in there expecting the worst, but hoping for the best. You were one of 3,000 women who auditioned for the show. I know. And you really did strike gold, didn't you? This guy over here. Hairy but muddy Jay. Oh, very sensitive on that topic. Anyway, guys, that is it from us. We will have

an episode not not now not in a little while about all the wedding stuff we thought we would have a little conversation soon about how things are going for the wedding matt has been doing a lot of the organizing matt has been doing all of the organizing you are a rarity i have not done much wedding planning at all nothing at all no nothing at all it's not my forte i come to you and i'm like hey do you want like a nice vintage car or maybe limousine and you're like do not care whatever it's we have a real role reversal in our relationship i feel like most women are the ones who plan the wedding or most females end up planning the weddings in heterosexual relationships most guys take the back seat i have taken a back seat and you have been the planner because you're

so busy and also i used to work in events so this is my jam so we were thinking it's very awkward it's it's all on me it'll also be a reason as to why you don't work in events anymore But anyway, guys, that is it from us. Well, quickly, quickly, quickly, Laura, before we go, I am wearing right now a beautiful, delicious, crisp, white Life Uncut jumper, size XL, because, yes, men can wear these also. It does look very good on you.

You can jump onto the website. It is Life Uncut Podcast, and that is where you can get the merch from. You can also get a pre-order copy of We Love Love, the book that Britt and I have worked our little asses off and is going to be out in October as well. And if you have loved Maddie J filling in on the podcast, if you've had a little giggle, please jump on to Apple and leave a review. I know it means the world to him.

I read every single review. Give me some affection. As always, I am very needy. So when's the wedding episode coming out? Well, I don't know. A few weeks time. Sure. Do you get paid for that one?

No, definitely not. Never get paid. And you know the drill. Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends and share the love because we love love. I love you guys