Life Uncut - Ask Uncut - My Boyfriend Supports Trump, Seperate Beds and Holding In Farts

Episode Date: November 13, 2024

Hey Lifers!Britt has had an extremely embarrassing moment at the hairdresser. We would want the ground to swallow us whole.Has your dog ever caused you to be in the most embarrassing moment of your life? Laura is having a bit of trouble getting Lola to give up something that she loves. Lola is in negotiations and Laura is struggling to reach a mutually agreed upon solution!Vibes for the week: Britt: Martha on NetflixLaura: Marigold’s Magic Stars book by Samantha WillsKeeshia: RecipeTin Eats Tonight Cookbook Then we get into your questions! I CAN'T SLEEP WHEN WE ARE IN THE SAME BEDI’ve been with my partner for about four years, he’s 33 and I’m 27. Everything’s great BUT the one thing that I cannot do with him, is sleep in the same bed. This is largely due to his snoring and sleep noises combined with my light sleeping. He would love to share a bed but I seriously just don’t sleep when I’m in the same bed. We always have great sex, have a cuddle at night, but then I’ll go to my room to sleep and then will wake each other up in the morning with a cuddle. It’s been a great arrangement but I get so worked up and worried about ever going away together. I feel like when we do share a room I’m sleep deprived, miserable and resentful. We want to go overseas together soon but again I get worried about future endeavours together because I’m scared I’ll never be able to sleep in the same bed and have a good sleep. Is this a sign that it’s not going to work? Or do we just have to keep making arrangements for separate beds where we can, and I get used to no sleep when the occasions arise that we do need to share a bed? Also just for context, he has undergone nasal surgery to straighten his septum in order to try fix the snoring and I’ve invested in so many different types of ear plugs but nothing has worked. Help please  BOYFRIEND SUPPORTS TRUMPI love my boyfriend but I think he supports Trump. After Trump just got elected, he said “well what did he do that was actually so bad the first time?” He thinks the hate against him is a media conspiracy. Can I be in a relationship with someone who feels this way about misogynistic people? HOLDING IN MY GAS AROUND HIMI’ve been seeing this guy for about 3 months now, we’re exclusive and it’s going well. It’s the first time I’m getting serious with someone so the first time I’ve been hanging out with a guy quite a lot over night/all weekend. The issue is I am quite a gassy person… I don’t have any stomach issues. I just tend to need to do a few pop offs after big meals or in the morning, and I also poop quite often too. I have been WAY too nervous to poop around him as I get scared he’s going to go in after me and smell it. I also am holding in ALL my farts. This is causing me serious stomach aches and pain. I’m often recovering from holding them in for 1-2 days after seeing him. Side note- he farts in front of me but I’m way too embarrassed to do it back… You can watch us on Youtube Find us on Instagram Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This episode was recorded on Camaragal land. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany and it is Thursday. Therapy Thursday where you send in your questions, deepest darkness burning questions, sometimes sexy. We do our best to answer them. We do. I feel like I'm sinking into the seat today. I sink into these seats all the time and then I look like the hunchback of Notre Dame. Nah, you don't. You look hot. You're fine. I went to hairdressers yesterday. This is my own accidentally unfiltered. I don't often get embarrassed. It's really hard to embarrass me. And it wasn't pure embarrassment, but it was on its way up there. So this is a really fancy

hairdresser. Everything's white. It's lush. And so I know them there well enough because I've been a few times, but I've only been a few times, like three times ever. Okay. So they're all girls. they're all great and Delilah comes with me because Delilah goes everywhere but Delilah is fantastic at the hairdressers she's she's amazing she just sits on the lounges next to her she just cruises she's usually pretty chill and everyone loves her anyway it was pumping like the hairdresser was pumping it was like the place to be I was there for like eight hours because I got some new hair extensions so I was looking you were at the hair stop yeah stop it yeah that's what it is And you sat in a hairdresser's seat for eight hours.

Do you need me to go back and tell you about my identity crisis I'm currently going through? I'm eight hours. That's a whole working day. They should pay you. Well, you take your laptop and you just do shit, yeah. Yeah, they put extensions in but then they'll last through a full month.

So it's like you do it and then you're good. Anyway, I could see in the mirror that the girls were sort of like grouping together and whispering and I was like, it's so weird. Like why are they doing that? And they looked a bit shocked and they giggled and they were like looking around and I was like, they must be talking about someone here.

And then one of them comes over to me and she goes, does Delilah have a toy here today? And I was like, what? I was like, a toy? I was like, no, I didn't bring her anything today. And they're like, oh, could you just come and have a look? And I was like, what? So I go over to this group and this group is all standing around her.

She's on the ground. She's gone into my bag and I didn't even know this was in there. No. She's gone into my bag. She has taken out this little satchel. She's opened the satchel. I know. And she has my period cup that she is throwing all around that hair salon.

I'm talking she flicks it up to throw it to herself and then she chases it. A period cup is flinging. I wish I was exaggerating. It gets worse. Delilah is a fucking liability. It gets worse. She'd been outside so it'd been in the dirt. but it's also very now this is going to sound rank it's very old this isn't my current period

cup I didn't even know it was in my Mary Poppins bag like I have this big bag that's full so I've got a new period cup that I use that's pink it's beautiful I've recommended it before this one I didn't know I had it's so old that it's like stained mate look I don't want to see a photo It's clean, it's just, but look, so here she is. The whole hair's on. She was throwing my stained period cup around. I've never, and I don't get embarrassed. I was more embarrassed that it was stained.

Who cares? No. It's just a period. I care. No, because it doesn't even look stained. It looks like black mould. I'm like, I swear. I was like, firstly, I'm very sorry, everyone, that this has happened.

Secondly, I think I need to preface that this isn't what I put inside of my vagina. Like I do not put this into me. This is old. I did not was here. It's got dirt from outside. Like that dirt is not coming. The soil is not coming out of my vagina. Like I was mortified.

That's what she did. At this lush sound. She looks so innocent in that little video. She's not sure why she's in trouble. That's incorrect. She knew why she was in trouble. She, Delilah is so smart. She gets it.

She was like, this is going to really cause some chaos. Let me go. She's like, I've been here for seven hours. What can I do to facilitate me leaving faster? Something hits different when it was so exposed. It's not like a tampon that was flapping around. Who would care, right? Like you're like, cool, whatever.

It's the fact that it was like so intimate and so dirty. But the dirt wasn't from me. But everyone thinks it was. I know they do. I know that, you know, when someone's like, oh, my God, that didn't happen to me. It was my friend. It's Brittany's dirt kink.

She's just into it. She's like, put soil in me. That's you propagate from the inside out. do you want it actually apparently period blood is really good for plants it is we've talked about that well apparently it's very good someone was on on instagram recently and they were like that's the plant that i tip my moon cup into and that's the plant that i don't and look at that one thriving do you want me to trial it do you want to come over to my house and tip it out i don't use period blood so i mean i don't i don't use a moon cup so i don't i'm not like i'm not gonna

ring out a tampon bury it you just go around my garden there's tampons buried everywhere and how you know they're there you just keep the tail out it's like breadcrumb your way home like let's move on speaking of burying stuff hey this is a weird segue Lola she's almost four guys right she's four in February yeah and she's eight months yeah she's four very soon and she still has a dummy at night time and like I'm not proud of it there's a part of me now that I'm like it's gone too far and I feel ashamed but like no one needs to know you just told everyone I was just about to say except now you all know okay but it's been really hard trying to get her to give up the dummy has probably been one of the hardest parenting

hurdles because I've never experienced I think it's one of these things where like unless you've experienced a kid that has an absolute fixation on it you don't understand why it's that hard because you're just like oh just take it off her just like you know and yeah I could do that I tried we tried to take it off her last Christmas for six weeks and she screamed every single night for six weeks and it got to the point where she no longer had the dummy but the only way to get her to sleep was for me to lay in bed with her until she fell asleep so every night I had to lay in bed with her for 45 minutes while she screamed until she fell asleep is there not like a different comforter that you like replace it with not like a a mouth sucker but like a comfort

toy or i've tried it all we've tried honestly we've tried it all but like look she and she you know lola had like some neurological problems when she was little so she it's something that she became very very attached to anyway that said and done the reason why it links to burying things is because we have started the conversation around the dummy fairy again. The dummy fairy is coming. And for anyone who knows how the dummy fairy works, basically you bury the dummy and then up pops like a lollipop or a present or something pops out of the ground. The dummy fairy takes the dummy and they plant a present, right? So Lola's four though, almost. The problem is, is that I described to her the concept of the dummy fairy and how she gets to choose a present

and the dummy fairy's going to come and we're going to plant the dummies and then the present's going to be there. And she turns around and goes to me, Mom, I'm just going to ask the dummy fairy for more dummies. She's a smart kid. It's like, fuck. That's actually three wishes. I wish for three more wishes.

That's when I realized that I was like, wow, we really have passed the point. I was like, she's so old that she can negotiate with the dummy fairy. She goes, hey, mum, I've actually been doing some research on the internet and I've made this spreadsheet of why a kid should maintain a dummy. That's how old she is. You can pay for my overbite. Go fuck yourself, mum. That is – you don't need me to tell you I love you.

It's too far. It's too far. I think if she's old enough to know and be like, I'm just going to ask for another dummy, bitch, then I think you just need to take it. She went to the shops and just bought herself more. Drove. Drove down there.

In her uni break. I think you need to have some tough love I know she's gonna scream it out just take it just say it's enough totally you're gonna get bullied we will we will and like that's what we did at Christmas last year when she was only just three and but like I'm not joking it was six weeks that we tried it and it was six weeks of absolute fucking hell so we waited longer we spoke to a to a child psychologist as you do and they were like fucking give it back to her yeah they were the ones and i know that kind of goes against the grain of what most people say that this one who's a friend and she's also a psychologist and she was just like the kid's not gonna have trauma

when they're 15 because they sucked a dummy they were like just give it fucking back to her if it makes your life like manageable it's not the trauma it's the horizontal teeth yeah but we all have baby teeth we all had like fucked up teeth when we were kids not me i did my i had the biggest gap in my front teeth which is gaps are cool now which i still had it but and i had to have braces twice to get rid of it so like whatever deal with it i feel like this is a picky battles kind of moment when i was a kid i will never forget the moment i went to the dentist and he was speaking to my mom i must have been about 12 because i remember it and he turned to her and he was like she's completely fucked up all of the enamel on her teeth and then the words oral fixation got

thrown around which i have later learned is a bit of a freudian thing it's a bit weird but it's basically an obsession with soothing you're having things in your mouth so all growing up as a kid and still into my adult life I seem to have this like sensory soothing thing by chewing on things or by like doing something with my mouth and as a kid I was always chewing on pens and because of it I ripped all the enamel off of my teeth so a dummy is kind of like the best case scenario because it's soft silicon and if you take that away she might replace it with something else No, the best case scenario is she doesn't chew anything. Yeah, I know.

Look, I mean, we can talk about dummies for a long time, but my five-year-old sucks her thumb. Like, Molly sucks her thumb. I can't cut her thumb off. The thumb fairy ain't coming. Yeah, but she's going to school. You can't suck your thumb at school. You need some tough love.

You cannot go to school and be sucking your thumb. It's okay. She'll learn that. You could put chilly nail polish on. Yeah. The kids will figure it out. They're all right. No, they need guidance.

It's the worst thing that our kids are experiencing is that one of them sucks their thumb and the other one has a dummy if some parents are out there going like Laura what are you doing come for me they're fine the kids are fine I agree I disagree well anyways with all that out of the way let's get into vibes and unsubscribes Brittany what is your vibe it's a hot take but it's not a hot take and I say that because it's like top of Netflix right now but the Martha Stewart documentary and I know you guys have seen it I told you to watch it because it is brilliant and I never in my life thought oh I want to learn more about Martha Stewart genuinely would have thought I didn't care but she is so oddly lovable she's so narcissistic but oddly

I like her yes that's the general consensus she handled prison like a boss I haven't seen this yet I've seen it come up on Netflix and I put it in my list but I wasn't sure whether it was good or not so I kind of wanted to wait and you know see what everyone else thought yeah it's good's not even the word it's fascinating like I didn't ever know much about Martha Stewart except that she was Martha Stewart she was homely she did the cooking she was like the face of wholesome home life like that's that's who she was and she was America's first female billionaire like self-made but the thing that's so interesting and fascinating about her is that when you think about the time that she was like the time that she was at the peak of her career it was this real push

around like when you're a woman you're a homemaker you make a beautiful home for your family and you can present a great gorgeous like table setting you bake a cake and so the face of that was this woman Martha Stewart but really she was like a fucking ball of business woman so she was selling the dream of being a housewife but she was anything but a housewife and then on top of that the way in which she sees the world in terms of like if a man did this we would hate him for it but she has one set of rules for herself and another set of rules for everybody else she's got to be a narcissist 100 but I think the the other fascinating thing is she says things that most people would think but never say and she just throws the way the comment like it's nothing like

she had a daughter but she's like didn't really ever want it wasn't really great not like that but she's like I just thought that's what you had to do if she went back and had a time again she wouldn't have been a mom the homemaker life wasn't for her but she said I fell into it because it's what you did you got married you had and all her friends were saying oh yeah she didn't really give much to her daughter like she wasn't maternal she looked after her she wasn't abusive but she wasn't an overly maternal mom for example her husband had an affair and she like roasted him for it but when she had an affair she was like oh it's just a bit of play it's fine it was nothing so it's like you want to dislike who she is but you just can't you're like I just actually love you yeah I was

surprised by how much I enjoyed it it's on Netflix if you guys haven't seen it Martha Stewart she's a fascinating fascinating woman I love that vibe all right I'm intrigued I'll watch it now it's great. Lois, what's your vibe? Okay. I have a very selfish one, everyone. Sorry. I have two actually. Okay. The first one is May and Moo. So my sister and I, you might've heard, we've been working on this business for two freaking years since Lola was a baby and since my sister had her baby as well. So May and Moo is our new business. It launches today at lunchtime, which is Thursday. And it's all based around these amazing hand crocheted heirloom blankets. And the reason why we came up with this idea was because, so we have these beautiful alien blankets that my

Nana and my great Nana have made for us and they were kind of passed down. So my mom had them when she was a baby. I had them when I was a baby and then my kids had them. And when our kids were little, so many people online would always be like, where did you get that blanket from? Like, oh my God, that's amazing. And it kind of occurred to me that the art form of hand crocheting has been lost. And like, we live in a world of just like radical fast fashion where you can get your blankets for 10 bucks from Kmart or 20 bucks from Big W but they just simply don't last like you'll have them for one kid or maybe one hand-me-down and then that's it whereas these blankets are like really really special keepsakes that are intended to be things that you will pass down

throughout generations every single piece is handmade they're all limited they're so so beautiful and then while we're at it we all did a whole lot of bedding and linen and like I need another fucking business to work on but I love it I'm so excited I'm so excited I think I'm excited for you I want some sleep yeah I want to also say that I also can't believe you started another business but I'm excited for you I know like we seem to have so many other small businesses but this is like it's very small and it's very from my family and actually the main reason why we did it to be fair is because so my mom's a crocheter and she's a school teacher she still works her ass off and after Neil passed away this year and we knew he's been sick for a long time we were

Like we want to have something that she can continue to do. That's her project. And so my mum's helping with like all of the sampling of the blankets. So it really could not be more of a family business. My sister and I have a business brains behind it, but she's the one who's like helping to come up with the designs and the crocheting techniques and everything that we send off to get made. That's really cute.

My other vibe this week is one. You guys know that we love Samantha Wills here. She was one of our very first interviews on the podcast. The very first, not one of. Was she? She was the number, Samantha Wills was our number one interview ever on Life Uncut Podcast. So Samantha Wills is someone who I just think is so inspirational, aspirational. I followed her amazing trajectory in business when she started Samantha Wills, her jewellery

label, like she totally redefined what it was to have a jewellery business within Australia. Yeah. And I grew up with her in Port Macquarie. And Britt knew her from a long time, but I kind of like saw her as like a real business blueprint for Tony May. Not that I copied her business, but it was seeing somebody else forge a path that made me realize that I was able to do the things that she was doing. Like it gave me a real sense of confidence.

But she stopped her jury business a few years ago and she's gotten into writing and she's been doing a writer's course in New York for the last couple of years. And she's just come out with her first book. Now, I thought that she was writing adult books. That's what I thought. She's written her biography, but she's actually writing kids books. and she wrote this really beautiful book called Marigold which is aimed at tweens but I read it to Marley I read over two nights because it's quite a big book and she was just absolutely

enthralled by the whole thing and it's the story about a little girl at school who isn't it's she's not your normal smarts and it's like you can't spell smart without art and it's for the little creative girls in your life who maybe feel like they're not excelling in the traditional ways of school but how they often grow up to be the visionaries of our world and they are the people who can do business and who don't have to do maths, but they can see big picture concepts. It's a gorgeous, gorgeous book. So Marigold, we will link it all on the website and in the show notes. Keisha, what's your vibe? My vibe for this week is actually a cookbook. So I saw this at the airport on the weekend and I feel like I'm really late to the party of Nagi Meharshi.

So she is the Recipe Tin Eats Instagram person. She has like a million followers, which is why I feel like I'm a bit late to the party. But I saw this cookbook and it was $50 at the airport and my luggage was already to the capacity that I was allowed to take onto the plane so I waited and I'm glad I waited because I ended up getting it for $29 but it is such a great cookbook if you are in one of those phases where you just have no motivation because you're like I'm so bored of all the recipes that I've been making this is going to be the answer it's super cute she writes about her golden retriever he's 12 years old his name is Dozer and he's their chief food taster and he's in all of the photos that's so cute and also she does this thing

called recipe tin meals so they donate 130 000 homemade meals annually to people in the community so vulnerable people that they feed and a lot of the sales from the book directly fund that program that's amazing yeah yeah really really good thing to get behind it's massive there's like so so so many recipes in there they're not too complex there's different categories like what i crave the fastest recipes so those ones are meant to be able to be made in 15 minutes which is my dream and then there's things like sunday suppers which are the big crowd pleasers that take a bit longer to make anyway it's probably the best cookbook i've ever seen so i love it it came out last week like it was launched last week recipe tin eats tonight by nagi mihashi love it all right well

let's get into the questions question number one i've been with my partner for about four years he's 33 I am 27 everything is great but the one thing that I cannot do with him is sleep in the same bed this is large yeah this is largely due to his snoring and sleep noises combined with my light sleeping he would love to share a bed but seriously I just don't sleep when we're together at all we always have great sex have a cuddle at night but then I just get up and go to my own room to sleep then when we wake up in the morning we go back to each other and have a cuddle I actually sort of low-key loved it. It's great. There's no problem here for me. It's been a great arrangement, but I get really worked up and worried about ever going away

together for Christmases or if we're going overseas. There's never enough room for us at my family unless we stay in the same room. When we do want to go and travel in the future, I think, do I have to pay for two different apartment rooms? This gives me a lot of anxiety, but then the fact that I don't sleep increases my anxiety even more. Is this a sign that it's not going to work or do we have to just keep making these extra arrangements for separate beds where we can i want it to be noted he has tried everything he's undergone nasal surgery to straighten the septum or fix the snoring hasn't worked i've invested in so many different types of earplugs also do not work my friends seem to think this isn't compatible with a long-term

healthy relationship help interesting i think it sounds like the dream to be honest i mean i never sleep with my partner oh yeah well i mean he's in a different country but if you were in the same country you'd sleep in the same bed we need to normalize that it's okay to sleep in a different bedroom sleep hygiene fine my parents slept in different houses not my parents my mom and my stepdad neil who were happily married lived in different houses and they were married and they just lived in separate places but also we don't even have to really normalize it it is normalized 25 to 40 percent of couples don't sleep this is expertly stated don't sleep in the same bed yeah where'd you find out those facts sleep.com no I can't remember the website but it was

something that said expert I do love it when anyone throws out a statistic with real conviction doesn't tell you where they heard it from you just believe them anyway I was like yeah sure it's from the star life section that's the first thing that popped up on google also sounds very reputable can I just say I mean I know I just threw out there that my mum and my stepdad lived in different houses because that I think for a lot of people would be like, well, that's weird. It's an interesting one because at the beginning of their relationship, like when they had been together for five years or so, I remember my mom getting really worked up because she wanted one of them to sell their house and to move into a place together and live together like a normal

married couple. And the reality was that both of them just had homes that they had had for like the best part of their entire lives. Like the house my mom lives in was like our family home from when she was born. And so she was like, well, I can't sell this house. And Neil didn't want to sell his house. And so it just worked for them. They would do like three days on at one and four days on at the other. The reason for saying this is not to talk about myself, but it's to say that like whatever works in your relationship works in your relationship. You don't have to do the same thing as anyone else. And if you guys are still able to cuddle and you show affection to each other and it's not affecting your sex life and it's not affecting anything else about your

relationship then who cares where you sleep who cares you can sleep on the floor I don't know many people that I feel like at the start of a relationship you do it right the start of a relationship you get into bed oh yeah you cuddle you have sex you have a cuddle and then you cuddle the entire night and when one of you rolls over to spoon it's like unison you roll over but you're never in a deep sleep like I bet if you wore your whoop you're not an REM ever like you are so consciously wanting to cuddle and you know when you're like oh my god they're on my arm I don't want to wake them so you're late you know a couple years in you're like fuck that get off my arm but now you go to bed you have your cuddle and your kiss good night and I would say most couples then

roll over and get into their position or their space that they get the best sleep so if you're doing that then just going and sleeping normally when you're unconscious then you come back in the morning for the cuddle I don't get what the problem is I think it sounds brilliant yeah I totally agree also it depends on where you're at in your relationship I mean you know we've got kids now both of our kids get into our bed every night so like Lola comes in around two o'clock Molly comes in around three o'clock I woke up this morning I had one child half laying on me the other one was sleeping horizontal across the bed and Matt was in Lola's bed he just gets up and goes into the other room like I don't think that your sleeping arrangements necessarily are an

indicator of whether you're in a good or bad relationship and I don't think that they are in any way an indicator of whether a relationship is going to work out or not there's lots of people who get to a place where they love their partner but their quality of sleep is something that is important to them and they just decide that it is better for them it's actually better for the relationship because they have more sleep and they are happier and more content when they sleep in separate rooms I grew up with a friend like all through school whose parents we always thought it was weird but that's because we were young and uneducated like you didn't have the exposure to these conversations but his parents had separate houses as well in the same street but they were

married for like 40 years but say like three houses down was the mum they sometimes they'd go and have dinner together then they'd just go back to their house hear me out it is weird or it's just a rich person problem like it's a it's a weird thing to do or you've got to be super wealthy but imagine that we could all live next door to our partners we don't have to live with them you can have your house exactly how you want your house you can have a wardrobe with all your shit in it exactly the way you want it and then your partner is just directly next door would you yes like would you do it i'd connect them with a tunnel yeah like you wouldn't you want like a door an entryway they just have their quarters and you have your quarters and and you know what matt can

go to the toilet or go into the shower and take his pants off and his undies and leave them as one unified thing on the floor yeah he would be i reckon he would be the partner that would be so sad to hear me say that that's not what we're saying we're not telling you your advice is to go buy a separate house but to go and have your own space if you have an extra room in your house utilize it you're paying for it okay there's more to this though and i think that just quickly to like wrap up this question you've said that like it can't becomes a really big problem when you're traveling or when you're going to stay at someone's house because like most people you know if they say hey come over as a couple i've got a spare room they're not saying come over as a couple

i've got two rooms that's not something that most people have the available space for so i would say in those instances especially it's your family have a conversation with them about the fact that your partner really snores and that you're not able to sleep in the same room can one of you sleep on a couch? Can you book a hotel room? If you book a hotel room, book two rooms. Like I understand that that's more expensive. I understand that that might not be something that is an easy possibility, but I think if it works for you in your normal day to day, there's no reason why you can't roll that out in some way when you're traveling. And don't worry about what people think of your relationship. And don't worry about if people think that it might signify something

worse because you guys are very happy and confident in who you are and what you have. The other thing as well is I do think it's interesting how as we get older, our perceptions to these things change. Because as you said, Britt, I would have thought when I was younger that sleeping in separate rooms would have been like beginning of the end type stuff. And I think if Matt brought it up with me now and said, hey, babe, I've made the conscious decision I want to just sleep in a separate room ongoing forever, I think I probably would feel a little bit sad.

But that's because for us, I think those types of things become a slow creep. happens one night where you get a good sleep, then it's a couple of nights a week. And then eventually it just kind of evolves into you going and moving into the other room. So I think it's the way in which you approach these things in your relationship rather than it necessarily being, hey, I have a problem and this is what I'm going to do as a solution. But then who in life ever said that all of a sudden you hit an age, then you have to share a space with someone in bed. Like, why is that a thing? We've just made it a thing that once you get married and you're couples, then all of a sudden you have to be together. Like that's a

rule that society just put on us I've been sleeping in my own bed alone for like 15 years for me it's really hard when when I'm with Ben it's hard to have someone else in my room but if I was going to I think what I would do is I would probably feel sad if my partner came to me was like I never want to sleep with you again we're good but I'm gonna go in here I'd get it but what I would say is the rule would be put me to sleep like give me a back tickle stroke my hair and then tuck me in And then once I'm asleep and I don't know, go hell for leather. Then you get up before me and come back into bed and then I don't know. It's actually so funny that you're laughing at that because my boyfriend

and I literally tuck each other in if we sleep. We sleep separate probably half the time because of various factors. I'm a bad sleeper but he also sometimes does night shift and whatever. And our joke is like the first one to go up to bed will be like, come and tuck me in. Like you've got to give me a cuddle and you have to turn the lights out. That's so cute. It's a little bit childlike now that I think about it.

But, and this person's question who wrote this in, I actually relate to it a lot because it's not just other people telling you it's going to be the end, like the beginning of the end and where's your intimacy and stuff. There's a weird guilt that you feel within yourself because you actually do wonder whether it is the start of the creep of like, oh, we're doing this more and more. Does this mean that we are going to lose our intimacy? Like it's not just external factors. I think it's something internal as well because we've been kind of conditioned to think that

couples sleep in the same room and in the same bed and and I felt a little bit strange about it this year being like oh we've slept separately for the past four or five nights like maybe I should go and sleep in the same bed tonight just to kind of break that streak I like the way you described that is at the start of the creep because I do think that that that's probably what you need to be conscious of is that we all know that we can become a little bit complacent in relationships especially when something feels easier especially when something feels as though we have like more autonomy or we're getting a better night's sleep or whatever it is so so long as you're not sacrificing the things that make you feel good as a couple because it's just easier to go and

just be on your own and do your own thing that's when you start to exactly that drift but I like I like that description of like is it the start of the creep but that's why I said why do we have it in our head even then when you said it Keisha why do we have it in our head like am I losing the intimacy sleeping at night unconsciously and snoring isn't intimacy you're not losing anything if you've got everything if you're bookending it if you're bookending that sleep with the the love and affection at the start the good mornings and the love and affection there's no intimacy that's happening when someone's snoring and drooling and you're unconscious so like I think we're conditioning ourselves to constantly think that. All right, question number two. This one I think

is going to get a few people fired up. So bear with me, everyone. I love my boyfriend, but he supports Trump. After Trump got elected, he said, well, what did he do that was actually so bad the first time? He thinks the hate against him is all just media conspiracy. Can I be in a relationship with someone who feels this way about a misogynistic person? I really want to like, obviously this question has come in from someone who's listened to that and I know that this is something that a lot of people experience, but I do want to expand it beyond just being Trump, because it's got to be like, what if you're in a relationship with someone who has different political views or you discover that they like really, really don't believe in some of the

things that you believe in fundamentally. You can absolutely have a wonderful relationship with someone that has different political views to you. The problem comes when it doesn't just become a belief and a thought process for them, but it's a constant point of contention and you are constantly fighting or they're constantly putting their views on. Or I'm going to use Trump for an example. If your partner came home and started throwing this sentence around of your body, my choice, if those politics have flown into your relationship, that's it. But that's not even a political thing. That's just like you're dating a fuckwit. But you can absolutely have very harmonious, wonderful relationships with people with differing views to you.

in fact sometimes I think it's important to have relationships with people with differing views I feel the same way about religion you can have a relationship with someone with a different religious belief but as long as the discussions that you have around it you're at the dinner table and you're talking about it they're respectful you're putting your point of views across you're trying to understand where they come from you don't have to agree with it but I personally can't stand the way that our society is going where if you have a differing view with someone you feel like you need to cut them off cancel them and not have any relationship with them I don't like that it's interesting because there's been a lot of people on social

media at the moment people who really come from that kind of like strong feminist stance of like if your boyfriend particularly follows Trump or follows Joe Rogan you need to dump them block them and like be done with them like I don't agree absolutely throw your relationship and everything into a steaming pile of shit and set it on fire now I don't not agree with it and I don't agree with it at the same time. I sit in a land of Switzerland. And the reason for that is, is because it depends on how much you care. It depends on how much these things are important to you. It's something that only you can define. And I don't want anybody to make decisions about their relationship because people online are telling them that they have to care or they have

to do something vice versa, right? Because your partner might think, and in this question, I think it's pretty important to unpack. Your partner says, well, what did he do? What was so bad the first time? Maybe it's just media conspiracy. This is an opportunity for education. This is an opportunity for you to sit down and have a conversation with him and be like, hey, here are the reasons why I care. Here are the reasons why this affects me. Should it be a woman's job to educate a man? No, but this is not just a man. This is a boyfriend who you care about, who you love, who you want to be with. This is an opportunity for you to explain to him the world you live in and why this is important to you and if he turns around and says I don't

fucking care about abortion bans and I don't care about your rights and I don't care about xyz well then that gives you so much context to decide whether or not this is the relationship you want to be in and whether or not your values are fundamentally different but he may simply be uneducated and have and have you know heard something here or heard something there that sounded reasonable and then he's made up a decision about something that he has the privilege to be uneducated about because it doesn't affect him. Exactly. And the thing that we do is we hear, see and hold onto things that affect us and we put the other things aside. So if things like the abortion ban don't affect him, chances are he doesn't read about it. He doesn't dig any deeper

into that. If you have this conversation with him, he might very well say, well, we saw unemployment lower under Trump. We saw the economy grow under Trump. He might just look at the few positives that affect him or that he has seen, maybe it's the industry he's in, he might have no grasp of exactly the impact of Trump's decisions make on women or how they directly affect women. So there's a conversation, but I think it's important for you to say if he says that, but then you say to him, but did you know that this is what else is going on? Do you know this is what else, the effect that this is going to have on women?

Do you know this is the flow on effect that we're seeing right now? And he hasn't even actually officially coming to term yet. Like this is already what's happening. This is why it bothers me. this is why I'm afraid for the future. Things like that. I think having educated, calm, open conversations is really important. Look, I mean, you know, in saying that, I think it's so important, especially around things like abortion, because I know that it's something that a lot of women care about so deeply, but a lot of men are able to just cruise through

life and they benefit from it existing. They have no concept of how much they benefit from it, but we as women know how important it is. And I had this conversation with Matt years ago now, and I was like you also need to care about this as much as I care about it because if you didn't care about this at all like the reality of our situation would be very different like I have had an abortion in the past I've spoken about it widely my life would be completely different I wouldn't be with Matt we wouldn't have the relationship we have because when I met Matt I would have had a seven-year-old kid and like my life just would have been on a different trajectory and it wouldn't have been the life that I chose for myself.

You know, I know that people feel very differently about these conversations and I don't expect anyone to, you know, to change anyone's views. That's not what this is about. But it is about explaining to men how they benefit from the things that are really important to women. And the problem is is that the way that the internet is at the moment and where a lot of people get their information, there's a lot of very angry women on the internet and I understand why.

And I'm also one of those angry people. but men particularly don't listen to angry women they listen to men and i know that that just adds to this environment of absolute misogyny but i what i'm trying to explain is that we see it we hear it and we all we think like how can they not be listening how can they not hear how angry women are for these reasons the very matter of fact is is that they see it and they just kind of scroll past they're not consuming that content because it's not being presented to them in a way that's palatable for them to listen to I think it is a challenge if they are aware that's when it's different like if they are very very aware and they are very cognizant and they are educated

and they have still made that decision then I understand why it fundamentally differs from the way that you feel and the way and the things that you believe in and that's when I go okay if you are so politically not on the same page about things that deeply fundamentally affect you then maybe the relationship isn't right and and that's okay you don't you know it's okay to not see eye to eye with people and also to not want to build a future with them right like that is a decision that you have to make but it's only a decision that you can make right and it's only a decision that you make based on the things that are the most important to you this is going to seem like a little bit of a weird tangent but kind of wait till the end and i think you'll get where

i'm coming from back in 2020 there was a lot of uh conversation about vaccination right and there was a bit of research done essentially from scientists who looked into the best ways to convince people that vaccination was a good idea. Essentially like, and I'm paraphrasing at best, but essentially what they found is that the way to change people's minds about anything, the psychology behind it, is to empower them to make their own decisions, right? And you have to be careful when you say education because it can be patronizing. So it was all about empowering them with information so that they could come to their own conclusion about anything. They basically found that any time that someone felt degraded, that they felt stupid, if someone was

having a tantrum, essentially, trying to get them to change their mind, not only would it not change their mind, but it would often push them further in the opposite direction. Shame and pressure also. People want to double down on it. And this kind of applies to politics as well, because it's not actually about vaccination. It's about psychology. And I have actually been really guilty of this myself in the past. And I've learned a lot this year, particularly about this topic of how to kind of talk to people about where they're coming from. Extrapolating that if he is someone who respects Trump, it means he's a racist, he's sexist, he's misogynistic, he's all of these labels. Yeah, he's a bigot, he's whatever. It's actually not necessarily true. It could be

true, but it's not necessarily true. And I experienced this a lot when we were talking about the voice referendum when someone had a different opinion to me I automatically assumed that they were racist and I actually have realized that that's really incorrect and it's not fair to kind of label them with something so extreme because they had a different perspective on something so kind of using that psychology is the the only reason I wanted to bring that up is because what you're saying about these people who are yelling and kicking and screaming on the internet it is scientifically proven that that actually doesn't shift the needle if anything it pushes people in the opposite direction. So keep that in mind when you're having conversations

with people that you love and care about. I mean, it doesn't really necessarily apply to the internet because I think you get served the algorithm of what you're into anyway. I don't think that the algorithms of people who are having quite hysterical reactions to the outcome of the vote in America, I don't actually think that they're reaching the other side because the algorithm already knows what side you're on based on the content that you consume. last question i've been seeing this guy for about three months now we're exclusive and it's going very well it's the first time i'm getting serious with someone so the first time i've been hanging out with a guy quite a lot all night and all weekend the issue is i'm quite a gassy person

by nature i don't have any stomach issues i just tend to need to do a few pop-offs after big meals or in the morning i also poop quite a lot too same girl same i've been way too nervous to poo around him and I get scared he's going to go in after me and smell what I have just done. I'm also holding in all my farts. This is causing me serious stomach aches and pains. I'm often recovering from holding them in for one to two days after seeing him. Side note, he farts in front of me, but I'm too embarrassed to do it back. Mate, you got to let go. Let go of it. If you are causing yourself pain because you're holding onto it for two days, let me tell you something. You're not holding onto it. You're farting in your sleep. That's what's happening. And he's heard it and

it's happening. Just lean in hard. I don't think you need to lean in. Unleash. No. Do it. Go for gold, son. I'm going to disagree. You absolutely do not and should not hold them in. Like it can cause pain and it can be really bad for you. You could end up in the hospital. Yeah. You need to be, yeah, you need to be able to fart. But personally for me, I don't want to sit there and let one rip in front of my partner. We've spoken about this. I think it is a turnoff for me if I had a partner sitting next to me and was just farting the whole time but the problem is is he has unleashed the beast he is doing it it doesn't mean you need to do it back yes an eye for an eye makes everyone smelly go for gold or gives them pink eye Laura just do it no I just

think go if you but she's worried about it I think just go to the bathroom it doesn't matter if he smells it every single human in the world poos and farts like he knows that you do it it doesn't Poo smell, that's what they do. Poo smell, fart smell, everyone smells different. If you're not comfortable, I don't think you have to sit there and cock a leg and fart back on him. Just excuse yourself and go to the bathroom. You don't have to fart on him.

I do think that there is an interesting, and maybe I am going to get too deep on it, but it was like, don't get too deep on this one, but I will. There's an interesting nuance study that we did on couples in farts. I didn't find a research study about farting. No, I think it's funny how women are held to a different standard and we hold ourselves to a different standard. I would say that there are more women than men who are embarrassed or nervous or don't feel

comfortable farting around their partners. Like let's do a poll versus the men in their lives who feel completely fine with just fucking dropping a fart wherever they are. I don't hold men to a different standard. I hold us both to the same standard. I agree that you do. You might hold yourselves and your partners to the same standard, but I would absolutely at a bet say that more men are comfortable with farting around their partners than women are. Oh, No, I would agree. Because we are expected to be ladylike. We are expected to be more feminine and women don't fart and all that sort of bullshit.

I think you will never feel more free than the day that you just realize it's fine and you just do it and you're a gassy gal and you got to live your gassy life and I am one as well and it's just a household of people who fart around each other and it's okay. But it also doesn't have to be okay. It's what it does to you. If you are not comfortable doing it, you don't want your partner to do it. It goes both ways. You don't have to.

But if you are okay to do it, let it rip. For me, I don't want to ever do it. It's a turn off for me. Ben has not and will not fart in front of me because he knows I don't like it. And I think that that is a respectable thing to ask in a relationship. Why don't you treat me the same way, Britt? Because you farted around me. Probably once ever.

And that was very funny. And I remember the exact moment. We were away on holidays. I crop dusted you. We're in Ayers Rock. I was horrified. It was horrifying. See, why was it horrifying if you think it's okay?

Why is it? It sat with you forever. Why? Because it was funny. See? It was so funny. Farts are a thing. Yeah, but they're funny.

But you've held on to my one whiz pop for three years. The reason why I've held on to it two years is because it was such a big deal to you. And it was so funny because it's such a taboo. whereas like in my household i couldn't tell you the last time matt farted because it happens all the time it's a non-event hear me out let's talk about it technically if you're spending a weekend together if you're in bed if you're like always together you're just gonna have to accept the fact that yes he's probably gonna go into the bathroom at some point and smell that you've done gone to the toilet go and get some what are those called pupuri pupuri drops just air freshener just get

to me a fresh night okay sort that shit out open a window but if you don't want to do it even if he is and you've decided you're not going to be that person just go into another room you can tell him you're going into another room to fart you can say don't go in there I'm going in there to fart whatever you want to say but like you don't have to do it in the same room there are options but you also don't have to live your life pretending as though you're the only person in the universe who doesn't pass wind or to go to the toilet I will literally say to Ben especially if you're somewhere that's like if you've gone on a holiday and you're in a little apartment room I'll be like babes I need to poop put some music on I'll be like I'll be like and

then you'll be like don't go in there for a while give it some space like we're so we don't pretend each other doesn't fart or doesn't poo like we never would pretend that we think it's it's funny I'll be like and he'll come out and be like you need to give that a minute I did it to Keisha the other day before we got into the car she got in the car and I was just standing with the door open she's like what are you doing and I was like I'm just making sure my pants air out before I hop into a confined space you are yes sorry i farted on the way to the car and i just think it's lingering i was like we just need to give it some space you are gassy i'm a gassy gal yeah i did appreciate that the honesty i appreciated a lot more than if you had have gotten into the

car and gone i've just fun which you have done she's done that as well yeah it's because she panics it's because she if it's smellier than normal she panics so she has to she goes sorry i just farted and i'm like i know i can smell it yeah also matt matt he does the opposite though He doesn't have the grace or the kindness to do it outside of the car. It's like he gets in the car and then the sitting down compresses his guts. So he'll shut the door and we'll start driving. And within minutes, minutes of driving in the car, he will fart with the windows up. It's gross.

He does it all the time. Yeah, it's gross. Yeah. I understand why she has anxieties around it. I think maybe just use an excuse to need to go outside for something. Take the bin out. He might appreciate both. No, you don't need an excuse.

You don't need to be like, oh my God, I forgot something from the shops and go down to the shops to fart. Like I, it's not that it's just don't, I just don't want you to sit next to me and let it rip on me or in the lounge room or in the car or in bed, whatever. If you're unconscious and you're asleep, funny, you can't help it. Like that's great. Would you, if you were asleep, would you just, and you woke up because you needed to, would you just do it and pretend that you're asleep or would you get up and go to another room?

I couldn't, I could not do that. I would be so uncomfortable. I don't like it. I do not like farting in front of my partner and I don't want him to do it to me and I have said to Ben I want to love you for the rest of my life but if you fart every day for the rest of my life I'm not going to love you because I know he's going to do something to me that I can't take back it's so funny how strongly you feel about it whereas like now I wonder if it's because I grew up in that family so my mom and dad have been married 46 or 7 years their anniversary

was like a week ago I can't remember 47 47 yeah but um they've never farted in front of each other And growing up as kids, it was a thing that was like you would never fart at the dinner table. You would always have to excuse you. If you farted, you'd always excuse yourself. But it was something that wasn't done in front of people. And so I just grew up like that and I just don't want to do it. Our house is like a symphony.

Anyway, even Nana, she coughs and farts at the same time. Everyone's farting around our house. If you hit 65, it's free reign. You do whatever you want. You can fart anywhere at any time. Ellie will stand up and just, Ellie. She's like, sorry, I have no pelvic floor anymore. It just falls out.

65 is fine. She's 73. Yeah, but from then on, I mean. Yeah. Yeah. She's doing her best. Anyway, we all know where that gets it from. All right, guys.

I'm so glad that we ended on that one. Go and live your gassy life. Privately. Yeah. However you want. Do whatever makes you happy in your relationships. We're not going to yuck anyone's yum. That is it from us, guys.

If you have a question for Ask Uncut, send us some sexy questions. I'm here. what the fart's not doing yeah no i'm here to answer your deep dirty kinky weird questions i need some kink in my life again it's been a while you're living yeah i feel a bit vanilla at the moment so i want to know all the fucking weird shit that you're up to because then i can like live through that send them on into our dms at life uncut podcast you can join us in the discussion group which is life uncut discussion group on facebook that's where all the juicy stuff goes down and also you can watch us on youtube yay and don't forget tell your dad tell your mom

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