Life Uncut - Ask Uncut - Not My Biological Father, Career or Motherhood & Concert Etiquette

Episode Date: February 23, 2025

Welcome back to Ask Uncut where we unpack all of your deep dark and burning questions. Laura is a bit f*cking rooted today apparently! There are no sick days here at life uncut! First very important question: which colour snakes (lollies) do you like the least? Is it orange? It's probably orange right?? Second very important question: what flavour is the orange lolly? The answer to this still hurts my brain.Keeshia has been reunited with Britt's dad Tony and there's a lifer who now gets where our obsession with him comes from!Vibes for the week: Keeshia Cloud podcastBritt It's All Over. The Kiss That Changed Spanish Football on NetflixLaura White Lotus Season 3 Then we jump into your questions: DO I LET IT GO TO PROTECT MY DAD?Growing up, I always looked and felt really different from the rest of my family. It was always a running joke that I was the “adopted” child because I don’t resemble anyone. When I was 14 and really into science, I learned that my blood type wasn’t a possible combination of my parents. I brought it up with my mum, but she completely shut me down and made me feel silly for even questioning it. Fast forward to late last year, and my sister and I did a heritage DNA test for fun. When the results came back, we found out we’re only half-sisters—meaning we have different dads. I have no idea what to do with this information. I’ve always had suspicions that my mum might have had an affair over the years (I’ve even seen some texts on her phone to another man). The thing is, my dad is the sweetest, most pure-hearted man. He’s retired now and living his best life, and I know that something like this could absolutely shatter him. I don’t know if it’s my place to bring it up or if he would be happier living in ignorant bliss. I don’t care about finding out who my “real” biological father is—I just care about what’s best for my dad. Is it my duty to dig deeper and confront my mum? Or do I let this go to protect him? I’m completely torn. CONCERT ETIQUETTE Can you stand up at a concert when in a reserved seating area? If you want to stand to pop along, should you book a GA standing? DO I REKINDLE THINGS AFTER SHE HAS THE BABY?I’ve just started talking to a new man for the first time after being cheated on in my last relationship. We went on two dates, and I really liked him. We slept together, he stayed the night, it was great! This man ticked all of my boxes. All of a sudden, after staying the night, he stopped replying! I thought he’d ghosted me and things were done. Then three days later, he came back and explained that he and his ex had hooked up in October last year and SHE IS PREGNANT! She’s now just started her second trimester. He said he wants to prioritise the baby and her, and he and his ex agreed on no dating/communication through the pregnancy, which is completely reasonable. He said he wants to keep talking to me after the birth because he really enjoyed spending time with me and wants to see where things go. My question is, do I rekindle things in 5 months, or is it just too messy? CAREER OR MOTHERHOOD?My partner and I are trying to work out when we should have kids. I’m 30 and he is 39. His career is well and truly set up and he is happy where he is. I however am not! When I was younger I always wanted to be a mum, but as I get older my priorities have shifted to being career focused. I am a pilot and I want to progress in my career a little more before we have kids. I am not happy where I currently work (very toxic workplace) and want a bit more of a stable job, especially one to go back to after having babies. I’m not sure this new job will come in the next year or so, so my husband and I have been talking about prioritising babies first, due to my husband approaching 40. As much as I want to be a mum, it breaks my heart that I may not get my dream career that I’ve worked years for and spent $200 K to train for (does this mean I shouldn’t be a mum?😢). I don’t want to put off having kids for too long, but I also feel If I take a break now from my career that I’d be setting myself back years compared to my male colleagues. I feel so stuck and lost and I keep getting told that I’ll know when the time is right but will I? Is 40 getting too old to be a first time dad? Also - the income I earn would not be enough to support a family, so my partner (also a pilot) would have to be the one to continue working and I’ll be the one to take time off   You can watch us on Youtube Find us on Instagram Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! XxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This episode was recorded on Camaragal land. Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. I'm so dead. That is not what you're going to say. I am dead. You said, do you think I'm allowed to say I am fucking cooked? No, I said fucking rooted.

Oh, rooted. I'm rooted. I completely underestimated how bad the jet lag is coming back from South Africa. And, you know, we talked about the delightful lifer who was the air flight hostess on the flight. She said to me, she was like, it is the worst place to fly back from.

She's like, it is. You will never have jet lag like it. And the shorter the trip, the worse the jet lag. I think I'm dying. I woke up this morning and I was vomiting. That's not jet lag. You've got a bug. I'm also really cold.

I don't know. This is screaming virus. Laura, this doesn't scream jet lag. I'm not well. She's like, my diarrhea is exploding. It's not jet lag. I always shat on everyone. No, I haven't.

I haven't. You've obviously picked up some sort of a bug either on the plane or in South Africa. Lucky me. Because jet lag, I fly a lot. And I never have vomiting and diarrhea when I land. I just think I'm so tired that I'm now, I'm sick of myself. Like, I don't know what's wrong with me, but I'm unwell. I'm glad you came in to sit in really close proximity to us.

It's so nice being here, everyone. I just don't want anyone to think that I would ever miss an episode. I'm here for you guys. Never let you down. Your dedication is admirable. And I have to completely admit, sometimes when you're really tired, you do get a little bit unhinged and it's my favorite because it's really funny. There's like, there is no filter and I enjoy it deeply.

I do have a question for you guys before we get into all the Ask Uncut questions. Hey, this could be an Ask Uncut question. What is the worst flavor of Alan's lollies? Snakes. The snakes. I'm glad we're doing the hard-hitting stuff. I'd go orange. Yeah, same.

Orange sucks. Is there black? It's always the last one. I like black. I hate black. No, I hate black. I hate any black lolly, black licorice, black jelly bean, black snakes. Okay, I'm asking you this, though.

Have you seen the article that came out? Are you saying orange because you've read it? No. No, I hate orange. I don't know. I haven't seen an article. Sometimes I don't even eat them. I just throw those ones out.

So statistically, orange is apparently the worst flavor. It's the least liked flavor. I don't mind orange. Do you know what it is? What flavor do you think it is? Orange. Is this one of those things where you're like, stop it. It's not orange.

It's apricot. Yeah, that checks out. I bet I like apricots. Well, it's apricot and then people don't like it and apparently Alan's is changing that lolly colour. I don't know. I might be making stuff up but I'm also delirious. I have malaria.

I feel really gaslit by Alan's. It's not apricot flavour. It's orange flavour because it's orange. It's apricot flavour. Why the fuck would you make it apricot flavour? Do you also know what the flavour is of the sweet and sour sauce at McDonald's? is it don't tell me it's like mayonnaise but what is that flavor sweet and sour i don't know i feel

like it's like the kfc 11 secret herbs and spices it's like it's a secret would you like me to tell you what that secret is is it gonna make me upset apricots it's apricot sauce do you know what the on your chicken nuggets the thickness checks out though yeah when you think of the consistency of the sauce i never knew that apricots was such like a well-used fruit across so many condiments and lollies. You look horrified. Really surprised by the sweet and sour having apricot in it, but I think you're right. No, it is apricot. It's like, that's the main ingredient. With a bit of pepper. Yeah. Spice it up a little. Growing up, like one of my favorite meals with my mom was like apricot chicken, which is chicken with apricot. So it actually makes sense. Can we just

all agree though, just while we're talking about Alan's lollies, the number one, and this also is not sponsored by Alan's mind you, the best lolly that they make is the peaches and cream. A hundred Yeah. Hands down. I would dig every single one of those out of a party pack before I go and give it to the kids. That's parenting 101. Yeah. The orange ones are the best, Marley. Have all the orange ones. They're so good. That is so funny. Hey, I just want to ask Keisha, I don't know if you've received this yet, but it was very funny. My mum and dad came to visit on the weekend, which is really nice. And I was walking down the street with my dad and Delilah and we're going to get like a bacon and egg roll, which is irrelevant to the story. But this life I was running past,

I didn't know she was a lifer yet, someone was running past and she had headphones on and she saw Delilah and she stopped and she was like, oh, my God, is that Delilah? And then she looked up at me and she went, oh, my God, Brittany. And then she looked at my dad and she went, Tony? She goes, no way. And then she was like, Tony in the flesh? And she was more.

Did she go, I get it. He is really hot. That's how Keisha reacts every time she sees Tony. And my dad was beside himself. He couldn't stop laughing. She was like, I actually can't believe this is happening. She's like, can I have a selfie? And I went to get in.

She's like, and you, Tony. Anyway, makes my dad get in. When you said she wanted a selfie, I thought, you know, like she like gave you the phone to take a photo of her and Tony. But then she did. And then she goes, I'm just, I can't wait to send this to Keisha. And she took the photo with my dad and wanted to send it to me. That is the best thing I've ever heard.

And dad's like, have I missed an episode? And I was like, possibly. We hope so, Tony. We really do. We really hope so. Just so that no one feels uncomfortable at Brittany's wedding. No, that my dad, because dad caught up with, this sounds weird, dad caught up with Keisha on the weekend.

Like it on record, Brittany's mum Nikki was also there and our friend Claire. And when I got into the Uber, I was a little bit uncomfortable if I'm not, Tony was in the front and I was like, it's best to separate him. The reason why Nikki was there is simply because she's surveilling you. She's onto you. She won't let Tony come anymore if she finds out that you're going to be there. She has the chaperone, Keisha and my dad. She's got this stick and she just pokes me away when I get too close.

I thought it was very funny. Yeah, very funny. So I don't know if you've got the photo yet, but keep your eye out. But my dad was super chuffed. Well, guys, we have lots of questions to answer for you today. So let's get into vibes and unsubscribes. Keisha, you have a very exciting vibe for this week. Tell everyone about it.

This is very much getting high on our own supply. But if you haven't seen it across your podcast feeds or if you haven't seen it across social media, we released a brand new 10 part mini series on Thursday. So it's been out for a couple of days now. It is called Cloud and it is something that we've been working on for a couple of months now. And I have, I've actually just given my whole heart to this. It's become something that I've actually ended up being really, really proud of. And so the first two episodes of it are out. There is an episode that the three of us did together and then there is an episode of an interview I did with Mark Manson that is about productivity and work. The whole cloud series is a bit of a

different conversation about ADHD. We've had so many requests over the last couple of years to do an episode around ADHD. I mean, so many of you who have been long-term lifers know that Keisha was diagnosed a couple of years back and obviously there's so much information about it now and there is so many women in particular who are having conversations about it and media facing women who are having conversations about it. But we really talked about it amongst ourselves and decided instead of just doing one normal episode that sits in the feed, we wanted to do this as a mini series. There's a lot of content about ADHD, but most of it is about explaining the condition to other people. Whereas I feel as though this series, it's not going to be just for people

with ADHD. I think it will be particularly enjoyed if you have ADHD, but I wanted to kind of do the next part you know I wanted to be like okay so you now know what ADHD is and we're going to talk about some of the ways that we tend to be wired or the tendencies that we have but how can we utilize that as a strength like how can we kind of shape our lives around you know the way that we naturally are to make us feel fulfilled lives like that was the part of the conversation that I felt was maybe missing in comparison to the other types of content about ADHD I find that most of that is kind of explainer stuff. And that's probably what it would have been if we had have just done the one episode. And that's why I really like that we're kind of taking it that

little bit further. When we were coming up for names for this podcast series, you know, we threw around a couple of different ideas and, and the word cloud really stood out to me because I've obviously had a lot of conversations, particularly with late age diagnosed women. And every single one of us said the exact same thing. We said that we felt like this cloud had lifted, like this fog had cleared when we had realized that that's what it was and our whole lives we've been experiencing this thing that kind of felt like background fuzz or a little bit of like a fog in our brains and it's not just the realization of oh it's actually called ADHD I think it's a lot of the the unpacking of why we have been certain ways and why certain things like Mark Manson spoke

about certain productivity things just don't work for the way that our brains are wired why we are kind of skewed towards novelty and why we really have this propensity for impulsivity and yeah I just I so hope that you guys all love it it's been something that I've been really really proud and I felt so grateful that you guys gave me the space to like go on this self-exploration journey and learn so much more about myself and learn from some really really amazing people it's a bloody good series it's so good you've done such an amazing job on it I hope most of you have already listened because it got dropped at the end of last week but if you haven't please go back and start because they are going to be dropping in the coming weeks as well. But well done,

Kish. We're super proud of you. I'm super chuffed. Thanks so much, guys. Britt, what is your vibe on Unsubscribe? My vibe this week is a Netflix documentary. It's called It's All Over, The Kiss That Changed Spanish Football. So you guys remember, well, you might remember, we spoke about it when it happened. But back in 2023 around the World Cup, there was a case where the Spanish football coach, Luis Rubiales, at the end of the tournament when they won all the women were lining up and they were giving each other hugs and the coach came up to one of the players called jenny hermoso and he celebrated with her and he kissed her there was a moment it was caught on tv kissed her on the lips and nothing much was thought about it at the

time she sort of walked off they kept celebrating and it snowballed into this huge thing where it was unsolicited not consensual and she was really uncomfortable by it so she put in a complaint about saying hey you can't do this so much stuff has come out since then that they're putting this documentary so this documentary follows jenny herself and a number of the female players that are explaining just exactly what went on at the time and the coercion and the manipulation and the bullying that was surrounding that case that we had no idea about because now they're speaking openly about really really shocked me and the reason that i am watching it now it's been out for a little while. But Luis Rubiales is in court like this week. I think they're expecting a

verdict to come out in the next week. So I'm really enthralled in this case again at the moment. So I think if anyone had any interest in it, it's very fascinating. And it's just a real inside look into the disparity, not only against what women experience in sport, but compared to men, like compared to the male football team, they were trying to get some of the male players to go and speak to her to say like, brush under the rug, forget about it. It was a really brilliant documentary also it wasn't like an isolated thing the reason why that she put in a complaint is because of his ongoing behavior yes and i think that that was pretty evident i mean that sounds fascinating and it's interesting how these things they have a life cycle like they're so under the

spotlight when it happens then everyone kind of forgets about it for a while and then once it's like the investigation or there's a court case or whatever it looks like it comes back into the pop culture sphere of conversation again i also think it's really interesting when things like that happen in the pop culture space you know and you see that crack in the facade and that's what you get the slight like the tiniest bit of insight and then it all kind of comes out and i mean we've seen it happen time and time and time again with these predatory men you think about since me too and diddy and kelly and like these things that have been going on for so long and then we finally get a public insight into it and then it all kind of unfolds i'm actually

really keen what's it called sorry it's called it's all over the kiss that changed spanish football it's called it's all over because at the end that became the trending hashtag that the females started to say hashtag it's all over like you know we're done we've had enough and the sacrifices some of them had to make they had to put a real stand up saying that we won't play for you anymore thinking that the whole team would do that but then the big competitions came around the world cup came around the representing the national team and a lot of them were like do I take this once in a lifetime opportunity that I've worked my whole life to do to play or do I morally like give up my career to it's such a horrible place to be put in and I feel so sorry for them but

brilliant can't recommend enough I have two firstly my unsubscribe I'm going to be very honest I have never been as flat as what I feel right now so my unsubscribe is jet lag I have not is me I have I'm unsubscribing from myself I just haven't had the capacity to consume anything that is of like worthy contribution at the moment that's okay so that's my full honesty but my one vibe is white lotus new season is out season three and i have watched the first episode it's on binge i was obsessed with season one and season two i'm vibing it although i'm unsure if that's fair to say i agree the reason why i'm saying i'm unsure is because obviously it doesn't have jennifer coolidge in it or she's not in it so far assuming she was dead on the last season she was shot off

the boat she died in the last season so if you didn't see that you know sorry for the spoiler but she was obviously like the incredible highlight of the last two series so this season season three has been filmed in Thailand it definitely still has the same vibe and energy of the first season one and two but the person and the character that's come back in this is do you guys remember from season one how Jennifer Coolidge promised one of the workers from the hotel that she was going to fund her health and wellness spa and then she kind of abandoned her that character is coming back so she's back in season three and she's yeah she's a really likable character so I have high hopes for it but I'm still not convinced if I'm gonna like it as much as I did

the other ones can I tell you something really funny when I went to Sicily a year and a half ago so the season two was filmed at a hotel in Tamina in Sicily and I said to my boyfriend I was like oh you know this is the white lotus kind of area like I wonder if we could go and see because it was actually filmed at the hotel and so the hotel exists and you can stay there but it's a four season so I couldn't afford to stay there it's like booked out constantly now yeah so I just went myself on a little walk on google maps and I couldn't get into the hotel like I think you can only get in if you're actually a paying customer and a guest because I was just going to go to the bar or something and order a drink so I could see you know where they'd filmed it but I wasn't

allowed in do you know what my unsubscribe is on that the theme song the theme song yeah so it doesn't make sense because season one and season two had the most incredible theme song everyone loved and it's honestly the only series that it's the only show that i have ever watched where i enjoyed watching the intro to it right like i would sit through that theme song and every time it started i was like oh yeah here we go another episode and that theme song has changed and i don't understand why they would do that maybe it was a licensing thing maybe do that to but like everyone is up in arms and it was kind of like the one big thing that when it started i was like oh i don't know if i'm going to enjoy this as much so maybe it's going to take a bit

of time i think they're rage baiting it was a weird shout because that music was so so great well i have i love white lotus and i'm i have high hopes for this season but i have three unsubscribes that i don't like from the first episode one the theme song shouldn't have done it. Two, the AI of the monkeys and stuff and the lizards, too much. Like all the animals in there are so obviously AI that you can see that it's AI. Three, do you know who the main character is in the first series? You know, the guy that's like the young teenage guy that's like wanting to try and have sex with all of them. Yeah, of course. Do you know who he is? No. That is Arnold Schwarzenegger's son. What? Yes. That is Arnold Schwarzenegger's son. And I hate him as a character already. I'm

like you're so annoying and I don't know if you're just a really good actor to play someone that's annoying but he's really grounding my gears so they're my like comments from the first episode which is a shame because I didn't have one bad thing to say about the first two seasons and like not to be too dramatic but the fact that they changed the theme song ruined my entire week so yeah it's been a hard week for me guys that's why Laura's so flat but apparently Patrick Schwarzenegger rumor has it that he's got like a full frontal nudity penis scene I'm there for that I like watching full frontal nudity I always find it interesting I don't see many penises anymore it's my husband's I should hope so where else would you see them okay I'm too lazy

question number one growing up I always looked and felt really different from the rest of my family. Okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You need to like preface how fucking cooked this question is firstly. Question one. Now this question is pretty cooked. So growing up, I always looked and felt really different from the rest of my family. It was always a running joke that I was adopted because I don't resemble anyone. When I was 14 and really into science, I learned that my blood type wasn't a possible combination of my parents. I brought it up with my mum, but she completely shut me down and made me feel silly for even questioning it.

Fast forward to late last year, and my sister and I did a heritage DNA test just for fun. Why would you do that when you know your blood's not compatible? You know the answer. It's not fun. Blowing up your family unit's not fun. When the results came back, we found out that we, in fact, were only half sisters, meaning that we do have different dads.

I have no idea what to do with this information. I've always had suspicions that my mum might have had an affair over the years because I have seen some texts on her phone to another man at times. The thing is, my dad is the sweetest, most pure-hearted man. He's retired now and living his absolute best life and I know that something like this would absolutely shatter him. I don't know if it's my place to bring it up or if he would just be happier living in ignorant bliss.

I don't care about finding out who my quote unquote real biological father is I just care about what's best for my dad is it my duty to dig deeper and confront my mum do I just let this go to protect him I'm completely torn I don't know what to do oh this is this is almost an impossible question for us to answer for what you should do for yourself the only way that we can answer this is kind of unpacking what we would do if we found ourselves in this situation but like can you imagine I can't imagine the feeling right like you've gone your whole life thinking someone is your father and of course he still is your father we know like blood doesn't mean anything yeah at the end of the day he's still your father he will always contribution does not make him your dad

absolutely so like you already know that by the sounds of things but i just can't imagine that feeling of i guess it's the being lied to your entire life and especially when you've gone to confront your mom in the past like it must be really hard to say hey science has literally told me this is impossible and your mom's like no science is lying and then you're like okay i'll just go on my merry way so I'm firstly I'm sorry that happened if I were in that situation and I've been thinking about this all morning today if I was in this situation I don't think I would no I know I know I would not tell my dad I don't think anything good can come from that when he's in retirement he's raised his whole life he said I find it interesting that retirement seems to be

like why does it matter because retirement you're this is the golden years but it's your golden years like you've worked the longest most stressful life this is when life is supposed to be bliss imagine when you're just winding down and someone comes and blows up your life I wouldn't tell my dad either but the question is would I tell my mom the one thing I do want to say is I don't want to villainize your mom like we don't know the situation or the circumstances of their marriage your dad may be the sweetest most wonderful dad and I think sometimes we think we know what our parents' relationship is like, but we don't always know the intricacies of our parents' relationships because often they shelter us from that. So I don't want to make your

mum a villain in this story. We don't know how or why. We don't know if your parents went through a phase where they had an open relationship. We don't know if your parents stopped having sex for years. You just don't know. The thing that's really hard though is obviously your mum is not facing it with you. And when you have brought up in the past, she's denied it, which to be fair, is probably the only reaction she could have had at that point. You were 14 years old and you've kind of figured it out from like the science stuff that you were doing in class. It was a pretty easy thing for her to turn around and be like,

no, no, no, don't be silly. That's ridiculous. I would have homeschooled my daughter. The only thing is now you have like unrefutable truth to it. So I think I would talk to my mum in a way that wasn't accusatory and in a way that wasn't, I don't know. I guess my thing is I would still love my mum and I would still love my dad.

and obviously this is a huge thing to try and process but I don't think I would want to completely throw my relationship out the window with my mum and my dad because maybe your mum didn't know. Like maybe she, like God, who bloody knows? Who knows? When I say she didn't know, I know she knows that she had sex with someone else but I mean she may have been taking a punt that it was your dad's kid.

I just, look, there's a lot of deception that's gone on but is it worth you throwing out your relationship entirely with your parents? I'm not sure if I would do that. go in with the benefit of the doubt you know she slept with someone else you know that your dad is your biological dad is somebody else but you don't know why unless it could be one of those very rare but does happen situations where something might have happened with your dad's sperm i don't know which order of sister you are but if you're the younger one maybe something happened and maybe

this is something they agreed upon and they just decided to never tell you yeah i mean but that's why you should ask your mom because yeah true that's what i mean there is a slight chance that she didn't sleep with someone else although it is low and she has and she has said that she's seen texts and stuff i mean look i guess my thing is is no one is going to have the same answer to this some people are going to hear us answer this question and be like i would have so much resentment and hatred for my mom like some people would feel like that and those feelings are totally valid we are not in this situation we have not just found out that our dad's not our biological dad all we can do is try and unpack like how we might feel if this happened to us

and I guess for me I don't think I would want to completely blow up my relationship with my parents but I do think I would want to speak to my mom I think I would want more clarity I would want to understand why and maybe that is her admitting to the fact that she had an affair maybe that's her admitting to the fact that they had to use a sperm donor whatever that looks like I think I would just want validity and truth from her to be able to move forward in our relationship and I don't think I could move forward without knowing the truth. Also, maybe just chat to your sister about it. Like your sister also received the results. She also knows now that you are half sisters and that your dad is different. At least now you have somebody that you can lean on and

talk to you and chat this out with. I think you need to be on the same page as well because you don't want her to be like, fuck this. You know, I'm blowing this up. You deserve answers. You don't want that to happen either. It's also, yeah, it's completely triangulating, isn't it? Because, I mean, you imagine you go and you speak to your mom, you find out the truth, then you have the burden of the truth and so then your dad's the one who's triangulated from that. He's the only person that doesn't know that he's been lied to all these years.

It is an impossibly hard situation to be in. I would really sit with this first before you do anything dramatic and, you know, I think I would definitely, like you said, Britt, I would absolutely speak to my sister and get on the same page with her as well. But this is so hard and this is probably something, I'm not going to say it happens common, like I don't think it's a common occurrence. I know people that this has happened. But it definitely would happen

off the back of this whole ancestry.com and everything. People discovering actually my identity and reality is not what I expected it to be. And I think that the only thing that would really change this for me is if you did decide at some point that you do want to know who your biological father is, like the actual person that that sperm came out of, you're like, hey, I do want to know his medical history I do want to know like there might be a reason where you're like well one day I want to have kids and I need to know what my medical history is yeah that is going to change things a little bit because I think if you're going to go down the avenue of searching that person out if they're still on this earth if you're going to talk to them or

meet up with them or in any way or contact them that's when I think you need to think really carefully about talking to your dad because that is even worse as much as it would hurt his feelings if it ever got out that you had tracked down him and spoken to him and then he hadn't even known any of this, that would be explosive. And like, I just feel like that'd be devastating. But at the moment you've said you don't care. It's not an issue. You're not worried. So I think that first step would be to talk to your sister, maybe a therapist, and then approach your mom. But I would approach her with the benefit of the doubt. And I know that sounds crazy, but we really don't know the circumstances. And then you can give a response that is warranted to whatever she tells

you. Yeah. And also I think the last thing I just want to add to this is that there really isn't a right or a wrong way to approach this because you are not the person who has done anything wrong in this. And I think just be very mindful about what is an emotional reaction to something and what is kind of a more considered and thought out reaction, because I think you will feel better if you make choices that are off the back of going, okay, I really thought about this and this is how I want to approach it rather than I'm angry, I'm hurt, and I want to do something about it because that's when I think a lot of collateral hurt can happen as well. All right, next question. It's very trivial, but I think a lot of people have experienced this. Can you stand

up at a concert when you are in reserved seating? If you want to stand up, you know, and dance along, should you have booked GA standing? Yes, you can stand up wherever you want. If you are at a concert and you were telling everyone to sit down, then you're a granny that shouldn't be there. Like if you've gone to a concert, it doesn't matter if you're in the, what are they calling the nosebleeds? It doesn't matter where you are. You have to remember, I'm going to think of Taylor Swift, for example, because she's

obviously was the hardest artist to get tickets for in the history of history. And every single person was standing up. You would get a ticket. No, but like you would get whatever ticket you could get. You were so desperate to go to a concert that it didn't matter if you had to swing upside down from the nosebleeds like if that was the only spot you were going to get it and you were going to be up and dance and people don't have the luxury of choosing if they want to be down standing or like a lot of the time i am too old for ga standing i hate it same i want the option

to sit i need a seat i don't like being in a mosh pit i don't like having people touching me i don't want to be like sweating or yeah i'm not 18 i'm too old for this shit we went to um you went to blink 182 and you weed your pants but I was standing in my seat and I had a great time because I had my own little space also you're just reiterating that yes she is too old for this who do we go to we went to and we were in GA standing DJ I forgot his name Fred again we went to Fred again and we were in GA standing and I love him and I loved the experience but I hated standing I hated it yeah all the whole time I was like this is a really long time to stand that's what I was thinking. And I was like over the concert by the end because I wanted to go home

because I wanted to sit down. I'm more for the standing in your seat and having a little bit of a break when you need to. I went to Coldplay not that long ago, was seated, stood up almost every song, but the two or so minutes in between that I could sit. It's a good recharge. It's just what kept me in the moment. Like if I couldn't have rested my back, I wouldn't have enjoyed it as much. So yes, you cannot definitely ever ask anyone to sit down if they're standing up in the seated area do you know when i recently had to experience this your filming of dancing with the stars on saturday yeah because the people in front of us stood up for every single thing no that was that's different that's not a concert that's a show like you sit down for a show stand up for

a concert there's rules that's like going to the theater and standing up like you can stand up to a frustrating ovation did anyone do that for me no we did stand up for you do you know what i was going to stand up for you anyway, but I had no choice because the people in front of us stood up within the first three seconds. I was wearing heels. I had to take my shoes off. I was in the studio barefoot because I was like, I can't stand in heels for this amount of time. You people need to chill out and sit down. I'm very excited. I was the grumpy one who was like, no, please sit down. Keisha wrote this question in everybody. It was Keisha, yeah. If I'm at Dancing with the Stars and someone was... I've just started dating a new man for the first time after being cheated

on in my last relationship. We went on two dates and I really like him. We slept together. He stayed the night and it was a great time. This man ticks all of my boxes. How do you know you've only been on two dates? All of a sudden after staying the night, he stopped replying. I thought he'd ghosted me and things were all over. Then three days later, he came back and explained that he and his ex had hooked up in October last year and that she is pregnant. She's now just started her second trimester he said he wants to prioritize the baby and her and he and his ex agreed on no dating communication through the pregnancy which is completely reasonable he said he wants to keep talking to me after the birth because he really enjoyed spending time with

me and wants to see where things go my question is do i rekindle things in five months or is it just too messy no it's just too messy no that's a no it's a no it's a no it's a big no you don't know him you don't know him you went on two dates with him I don't want to be that person because I am marrying the person I went on three dates with so I don't want to be that person but you don't know him I'll be that person he wasn't you were that person to me you were like Brittany you can't go to Scotland you don't know him I was like I'm getting married yeah but you're like it does not surprise me about you I'll give better advice to other people who might take it we should play that audio at my wedding anyway moving along so what I think is two things stand out here one what we

said, whilst I know somebody can seem so amazing and you want to be invested, it is absolutely not worth you waiting five months. And also chances are, I don't want you to be offended by this, chances are he's not going to give a fucking five months. He's going to have a new baby. He probably has met somebody else in that time. Or you know what? Look, he might, but it's not going to come off the back of you waiting around. No. Something might come up in five months time or six months time. That's okay if it does, but do not let it come up because you waited and you manufactured that to happen. I think go and live your life, go and date other people, go and experience whatever it is that you want to experience. And I know that you say you've had a

really hard time because you've been cheated on in the past relationships. You are entering a very messy situation here. And it sounds like you may be slightly attracted to the drama of this more than you actually are attracted to the man because you do not know him after two dates. I need you to know that. What I do want to say too is like, and this doesn't make sense to me and it's not going to work out how he said it is, he and his ex have said that you will not be dating or communicating with other people

throughout the pregnancy because they're just going to focus on the pregnancy. Why? That doesn't make sense. When the baby comes, what do you think that all of a sudden she's going to be like, okay, you're free to go and date now? It's going to be worse. his time is going to be next to none his brain his mind his thoughts his finances his energy

every single thing he does now belongs to his child like you will not if you are not a priority while she's growing the baby you are never going to be the priority when he has it it would be different if you'd been with this guy for like years he'd cheated fallen pregnant you decided to work it out like which i'm not saying it's okay but like you don't know him this is a random guy that he's having a family with someone else every atom in my body is saying forget him and move on and find someone more amazing yeah i my only other thing i want to add to this is on one hand he could be like a lustrous unicorn who found out his ex was pregnant is so kind and generous that he was like do you know what i will be there solely for you but as a friend not date anyone

else he's not not have any communication with anyone else just so that i do not disturb your pregnancy but i will support you platonically because you're carrying my child he's not a unicorn he's he'd do that and then as soon as that baby's born he's going to rekindle a whatever it is with you like it's almost an unbelievable scenario because to me he's either like potentially back together with her and they're giving the relationship a shot or when the baby comes along he's going to be exactly like you said brit if he's giving it that much focus now to the pregnancy, how much focus do you think he's going to give to a newborn child? Like this situation doesn't make sense. His explanation for it doesn't make sense. And I think you just need

to give him and this whole very messy, very messy scenario, a bit of distance. Oh no, just forget it. Not distance. It's done. Burn it to the ground. Honestly, please, please. I truly believe this. Just date other people. Live your life. You have to forget him because he said he's not allowed to have communication with anyone else so like forget him if the universe decides that you two are meant for each other he will come back in five six seven months he will be the unicorn and it will be fine but the worst thing you can do is put your life on hold for another six months over a guy you banged twice yeah who he's saying he can't have any communication with you anyway so there's a load of shit yeah just because his ex is pregnant it's so wild but like he said he can't talk to you for

five months so what are you going to do just sit around and wait and text him in five months time how's baby yeah what we text again is it's gonna be like hey the baby's come out now finally we can talk like it doesn't make sense i think you're still with her all right my partner and i are trying to work out when we should have kids this is a really hard one guys i think a lot of people are going to relate to this i'm 30 he is 39 his career is well and truly set up and he is happy where he is i however am not when i was younger i always just wanted to be a mom but as i've gotten older, my priorities have shifted to being more career focused. I'm a pilot and I want to progress my career a little bit more before we have kids. I am not happy where I currently work

and I want to have more stability in my job, especially one to go back to after having a baby. I'm not sure this new job will come in the next year or so. So my husband and I have been talking about prioritizing babies first due to my husband approaching 40. As much as I want to be a mom, it breaks my heart that I may not get my dream career that I've worked years for and spent $200,000 to train for. I don't want to put off having kids for too long, but I also feel that if I take a break now from my career, that I'll be setting myself back years compared to my male colleagues. I feel very stuck. I feel very lost. And I keep getting told that I'll know when the time is right, but will I? Is 40 getting too old to be a first time dad? Also the income I earn

would not be enough to support a family. So my partner, who is also a pilot, would be the one to continue to work and I'll be the one to take time off. I really, really like the feel for this girl. Cause I felt the same feelings that she had felt in many aspects, but let's just sort of go back to the start. You're 30 and he's 39. 30. I mean, it's really tricky. Cause I don't want to say you have plenty of time to have a child. Cause I don't know what your fertility situation is, but 30 is still young yeah first and foremost i would say go and start the fertility testing get your egg count done get the base level so that you at least have some more information based around if it needs to be something that you look at in the next 12 months or if you

your fertility is flying i don't know if you have pre-existing conditions picos endo flying because she's a pilot that was very funny sorry but all of that stuff actually matters yeah to determine if you need to get a move on. Next up, he will be 40. 40, I don't believe, this is subjective, I don't believe 40 is too old to be a first-time dad. I know so many people in their 40s that have become first-time dads. It comes down to what you guys want as a couple, but at the end of the day, it's different for men. We know that. We know that they have all the time in the world, generally speaking, unless there's a medical condition. It's a really tricky spot because you have dedicated a lot of money and a lot of time and a lot of passion to your career

and the thought of oh cool do I have to pick one because my career is going to stall to be a mom that pressure is horrific like it's a really tricky place to be in and it sucks that as women we have to be in it what I want to say knowing no background to your health I want to say I would keep focusing on my career for a few years because you said it might happen in two years you'll still only be 32 like yeah I'm 37 38 this year still don't feel like I am ready but I have to make that decision so I'm feeling what you're feeling now but I've got seven to eight years on you another couple of years I would be like working so hard to make the changes in my life to put me to steer me in the place I want to be for my career so that then I can go boom and have my

baby when I'm ready yeah I feel very careful about answering this question because I never want to tell someone to delay doing something in their life that they want to do like if you really want to have a baby and you really want to have a family I don't want you to listen to us here saying hey wait a couple of years and then you find yourself in a situation where it's challenging so I do agree the very first thing to do is go and get your fertility tested for the peace of mind about clawing back a bit more time with this but also he needs to be tested too yeah needs to be tested the only thing I want to say is is that it feels unfair to me that you are the only one that has to make a sacrifice in this situation and what I mean by that is your partner has said

he doesn't want to be an old dad okay I understand that he's 39 and he'll be 42 by the time he has kids but also you don't want to not have a career that's something that's important to you and you want to have a career to go back to once you've left maternity leave so whose wants and desires are more important and that would be the conversation I'd be having with my partner because the difference of two years could be a huge career difference to you but it's not going to be a huge time difference to him not necessarily so I mean I think that there are some really big conversations to have there and I absolutely understand that when you are someone who is career driven and you really have aspirations and dreams and hopes for your life that sits

outside of motherhood that those two things can feel really really conflicting the only thing I do want to say and maybe it's more challenging because I know nothing about being a pilot so you're not shocking I know I don't know what it requires I don't know what type I don't know what type of pilot you are like whether you're domestic you're international like I don't know what it is that you're you know that it is that you're pursuing because she's just like piloting one of those plane rides at dream world you know the ones that go around the kids she's like I'm essentially a pilot but the reason why I say this is because I don't know how taxing it's going to be when you do become a mom. I don't know how many days you're going to have to be away or

what does that look like? Like how manageable is this work that you're pursuing alongside being a parent, especially when both you and your husband do the same type of job, you know, and that's not to say that you need to sacrifice that. I think that there are a lot of incredible examples of women who have juggled motherhood alongside incredibly successful careers simultaneously. It's not to say that it's easy. It's not easy. It's very hard, but it is doable. And there are examples of that out there. So I would be talking to other women who are pilots. I would be talking to other people in your industry to find out how they have managed it. You know, people who are mums who are able to do both. What are the structures that they have in place in their

household, in their families that allow them to navigate that transition from being a career focused woman to being a career focused woman who's also a mum. It's going to be a hard one, no doubt but there's ways around it yeah my so my friend is a female pilot she had a baby two years ago and she just as of last week she spent a week over in Scotland with my sister Sherry without her daughter she's still a pilot she knew that her career was important so she went basically she had a bit of time off went straight back but the reason she can do that now still be a pilot still go away for a week at a time if she has to is because she has a really supportive partner yeah so it is just simply impossible unfortunately to do a job that involves going

away for days at a time flying an aircraft if you don't have someone at home that's going to support that and literally be there to look after the child so that's your support network is everything there's also i think well within that then brit there's a really big conversation around what sacrifices is he going to make in the long run so that your career can can just so that it can progress because you know you said that he's going to be then the main breadwinner he'll need to go back to work so if you do take this sacrifice when will you be able to get your career back on track when will he be able to take a little bit of the downtime and the parenting time so that you can focus on these things and it's a really hard one because I think that there

are a lot of there's a lot of scaremongering that's out there and I know that I felt like this before I became a mom. I even remember having Marley and I like looked at Matt and I was like, my career is over. Like I don't have anything and you can just walk out the door without a baby and you're fine. The reality is my career has never been better since when I had kids. Like there is a transition and a revolution that happens for some women, depending on the types of industries that you work in. It's also not for everyone. It's not manageable for everyone, but I don't want there to only be examples of how motherhood and career is hard I think it's important for us to highlight that motherhood and career is achievable you just have to have

the support networks around you to do it yeah and the last thing I want to say because this is important is that you said it breaks my heart that I may not get my dream career that I've worked for years for and spent two hundred thousand dollars to train for the fact that this breaks my heart does this mean that I shouldn't be a mum like the fact that you're so upset about your career not progressing, does that mean you shouldn't be a mom? Absolutely not. These two things can run concurrently. You can want to be a mom and be an incredible mom and also do your career. We actually, this is so like sidestep here. We had this conversation recently. There's this astronaut that I'm obsessed with. There's this female astronaut

and I've been following, she's American. I've been following her journey for quite a while because she's going to space soon. This sounds so left field. She's going to space soon with this all-female team. It's incredible. They're just kicking huge goals. Obviously, going to space is not conducive with having a baby. You're in space for a year, two years, however long your mission is, six months, but you don't duck up to space and come back the next day. She was really wanting to become a mom and it was her last time to do IVF and be a mom before the next space mission. If she had a baby, she would have had to have left the baby in the first year of its life with the father who is very capable that's fine and then have come back when the baby was one

continue on normal life as a normal mum and it was a really divisive conversation that was happening because people were like well why are you having a baby if you're going to leave it for a year but her career doesn't allow for her not to leave it but she still has the rest of her life yeah we disagreed on this internally whereas I was all for it I was like I think it's amazing that you want to have a child, still go to space like with an incredible female team to do your job, come back in a year, you're still going to be a mum for the next 60 years. I think it's really cool that women are able to juggle both. What I want to say from this story is having dreams and a career and goals shouldn't offset or negate your feelings of still also wanting to be a good mum.

it's a tricky one for me and i i heard that story and i obviously i don't want to pass judgment on anyone else's way of parenting or what people choose is good for them but i do think that as parents and this is not just one parent this is not just you know i'm not saying that just because she's a mom the expectation should be different i think it's both parents i think that there's a if you're gonna have a child not being able to be present in its life for the first two years of life because you're completely literally on another fucking planet well I don't know how long it was I don't know if it was six months or a year I don't know how long her yeah that obviously makes a big difference but I remember there being some chat around it being up to two

years to me I don't quite understand that because I think if you are going to choose career that's absolutely okay but there still has to be a way in which motherhood is feasible alongside the career and being completely absent means that that's not a feasible juggle. That means you've chosen 100% one. But the reason I disagree with that is because it's okay for men. We see it. But I don't think it is either. But it is.

That's the problem. Men are dads all the time, go to war, go into another country and literally don't see their kid until they're four, five years old and it happens all the time and it's okay. It's like, yes, so brave. But they're also doing their job absent from their child's life for years and I know the expectation is on the mother that it's different, that maternal relationship is different. And I, and I know it is, but I still think with the right

support system in, this is such a specific example, like no one else just goes to space. Like this is not a normal example, but I, I'm just trying to say, I do think it is so okay for you to prioritize both. Yeah. It's so tricky because as soon as you're a mom who prioritizes career, you're deemed as being selfish. Exactly. But dads are not. Yeah. There's a different set standards look i think like i said go and have some conversations with female pilots who are successfully doing both and find out how but the first thing is a big conversation with your husband and also fertility testing that will like absolutely give you some peace of mind around all of this yeah good luck yeah well that's it from us guys if you have a question for ask uncut

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