Life Uncut - Ask Uncut: Orgasms On Demand, Mysterious Nudes Heating Up The FB Group & One Very Suspicious Brother In Law

Episode Date: August 23, 2026

Hey Lifers! Welcome back to Ask Uncut where we answer your deep, your dark and your burning questions. Laura kicks things off with a Facebook group confession that's got us absolutely in shock… or maybe it’s awe? We’re talking rogue orgasms and it’s wild Vibes of the week: Laura: Toxic Love Story on Netflix Britt: Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros Q1: SHOULD I TELL MY SISTER HER HUSBAND IS MESSAGING ANOTHER WOMAN?  My sister is overseas and I had her husband over for dinner. While he was on a video call with her, I saw a flirty conversation open on his phone with a woman saved only as a photo and a question mark. Do I wait until she's home, or say something now? Q2: IF YOU BREAK IT, DO YOU BUY IT?  My housemate's cleaner accidentally broke one glass from a $140 pair, and now my housemate is making her pay for the full set. She seems thrilled about ending up with three glasses instead of two. Q3: MY PARTNER'S NEVER BEEN FLIRTY WITH ME?  My partner of nine months just told me his socials were "hacked" and someone's trying to extort him using a nude he sent 12–18 months ago. He's never once sent me anything like that, and I can't stop wondering why. Q4: AM I LIMITING MYSELF BY AVOIDING “CASUAL” DATERS?   I'm back on the apps and getting plenty of matches, but most guys are upfront that they only want something casual. My ex said the same thing before we met and changed his mind a month in,  am I limiting myself by only going out with people who say they want something serious? Timestamps 00:00 – The massage orgasm confession that's got as all flustered 05:18 – Vibes & Unsubscribe: a toxic true crime doco and a horny Harry Potter read   11:06 – The brother-in-law's WhatsApp messages while her sister's overseas 17:22 – The cleaner charged double over one broken glass 24:04 – The "hacked nudes" story that doesn't add up 36:06 – Should she stop dating guys who only want casual? Keep your questions coming! Slide into the Life Uncut DMs at @lifeuncutpodcast on Instagram You can watch us on Youtube Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Hosted by Britt Hockley & Laura Byrne Produced by Sophie Nathan Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford & Lachy Pugsley Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! XxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncutt. I'm Brittany. I'm Laura and this is Ask Uncut where we answer your deep, you're dark and your burning questions. Lots been happening this week. There's been a lot happening. I have a question that I want to kick it straight off the bat with and it was something that was posted in the Facebook group.

Yeah. Britt, I want to know your response to this. It actually wasn't just the question. It was the comments that followed this. You have just been like amping this up and I got anxiety about what it is. No, no, no. It's relax. You need to be relaxed for this one.

So relaxed. Okay. Like incredibly relaxed. I could not be more relaxed. Okay. Intelligent Wolf 5786 wrote. The names are the best bit. Is it normal to orgasm during a massage?

I mean, I'm in a completely professional setting, for example. I'm currently having lymphatic drainage massages on my legs and I orgasm every single time. I'm completely still and silent. And the therapist obviously has no. no idea it's even happening. This has actually always happened to me with massages, whether they're working on my back or my legs, etc. I'm genuinely just curious. Does this happen to anyone else? Oh my God. If you are orgasming that easily, you need to be studied. Well played. People are like, I can barely orgasm with penetrative sex. And someone else was like,

whatever this disease is, I wanted. Where do I find it? How do I catch this disease? I, no, no, you are an You are as beautiful species of an anomaly. Lucky you. It is so you're, you freak of nature. That is not normal, but go off, Queen. Go off, queen. Go off. What I will say is literally pop right off. Pop the fuck off.

Do you know what's unusual is it's not even like it's a, it's not like a tummy mat. Like it's her carves. That's her erogenous area. Well, she said it's anywhere. She said it was a back massage once, neck massage. That's insanity. People go to camps to learn to orgasm and you're just walking

around the street. There is that, I don't know what it's called, but there is that actual disease. It's not a disease, whatever it is, syndrome. I don't know. Where somebody can't orgasm like 300 times a day and it's really detrimental to their health. Like they can't live. What is that called? Too much of a good thing, Britt. Too much of a good thing. It's a real, no, I'm Googling it. If you were constantly riddled with orgasms, you wouldn't get much done, would you? Multiple orgasms. In a single day is known as multiple orgasms. persistent genital arousal arousal disorder pigad that's what we call it on the street

yeah orgasms the feeling doesn't go away can happen without even like sexual desire can cause stress pain and discomfort is a rare medical condition but you're really taking the tone down sorry because i reckon she has a little dabble of that she hasn't got peagat or whatever that no she doesn't she's having a great time she just wants to be touched okay you know here's the question are you also orgasming this easily in sex or is it things that are not so sexual? I would love to know that. I'm a pretty, like I've said this before, I'm a pretty easy girl to get going. I am. We've got tickle those hemorrhoids. You've got a little tickle. Just blow on them from afar. Just a slight breeze.

I've never orgasmed in a massage, but I reckon if I concentrated on orgasming, I could orgasm in a massage. When you say you're easy to get going? I wake up. You know this. No, I, okay, if you have ever told me that, that's gone, I've pretended to listen. Because I do not remember that. That has gone in one ear and another. It's actually hilarious how much we share about our lives and how little you retain of it. No, we've spoken about this many times.

I will have an orgasm in my sleep. We're doing nothing. Hey, laws, I don't want to break this to you. You've never said that. I 100% have. Producer Keisha's here for one more day. Producer Keisha. Keisha said, I've heard it.

She's like, that's an old story. I don't think it's been on. Well, Sophie said she hasn't, so she's on my side. Sophie's been here for one day. It's only, it's like a wet dream, but for an adult, millennial woman. It's like waking up and you're like, ah, okay, I don't even know why that happened. I've never done that in my life. You've never woken yourself up from an orgasm.

No, I've never had an orgasm in my sleep. It's great because you don't have to do anything. Okay, here's a question. When you say your orgasm so easily, sometimes even in your sleep, when you're with the guy that fucked your knee, Did that get you all? Or your armpit? No, that was more for him. That was more for him.

That didn't do it for you. No. I know that obviously that was for him, but I just didn't know if that still tickled your fancy. I mean, I didn't dislike it, but it was definitely more for him. That was true. For anyone who is not an OG lifer and that is a rogue as story, yeah, you can read between the lines. Go back and listen to some more episodes from like 2021 or whatever it was. Anyway, let's get into vibes and unsubscribe.

Did anyone in those comments say that they also get a lot of? off massaging? No, there wasn't anyone. Everyone just kept on asking how they catch that affliction. One person said, never experienced that, but I have had a orgasm at the gym. Apparently, that is a thing. It was during the assisted leg raise, which seemed to cause it. And Emily Weir told an accidentally filtered story about having multiple orgasms at the gym whilst doing sit-ups. And Tony Lodge had an orgasm on the roller coaster. Wow. Hold on. There's one more comment. This one says, not in a massage, but I can orgasm simply by crossing my legs. Literally, I can sit anywhere, cross my legs, squeeze my thighs a few times and voila.

That is from proficient, actually the name, proficient Uzu, 195. She is proficient. Very proficient. What you're going to do is cross your legs. All right, let's get into vibes and unsubscribes. I am viving a documentary that is on Netflix. It is a single episode documentary, goes around an hour and a half. It's called a toxic love story.

It is very easy to watch. if you're someone who can't get into a series or get into like, you know, the commitment of anything that's going to absorb and take up too much time. One episode, it is really fascinating because it has a very good twist in the story. And I think the reason why I love this so much is because it really shows how, but a victim can sometimes appear as a perpetrator, simply because victims are not always perfect themselves. There's like a bit of fraud element to it. There's people deceiving their identities, but you really don't quite know who is or isn't in the wrong. I, of course, have seen it.

Did you like it? I did like it. I really like. I love all these true crime stuff. I thought it was maybe a little bit dragged out. I loved it. It was one episode. No, I know, but I feel like there was like some filler in there.

But maybe that's just the way my brain works. But you can't see what's coming. No, you can, oh, well, it's hard. Is it, isn't it? It's one of those ones. I think the thing is, is you kind of suspect that there's more to it. there has to be more to it because you get halfway through the documentary and you're like, well, if this is all there is, why is there still 40 minutes to go?

So you kind of know that there is a bit of a complex storyline that plays out. I really enjoyed it. And at the end of the day, one of the things that's the most fascinating is, like I said, this conversation around how a victim can also be prosecuted as a perpetrator. I really left that feeling like, wow, just trust no one. I feel like that anyway. Yeah. That was my 20s and dating.

Fair. Yeah. Hey, my vibe this week, I just don't know why I feel like you're going to laugh, Laura. But if you say something about ghosts, I unsubscribe. No, it's not. It was and I changed it last minute. No, it's not about ghosts. It's a book.

Great. I'm so glad you've been reading. I go through these waves of wanting to, I say I'm going to read like five books in a row and I don't. I absolutely don't. I read one book and then I tap out for like eight months. Six years. Honestly, it's like I used to read, I used to love reading. I took that Kindle with me everywhere.

Read a book a week, easy. And then I just, I don't know what happened. I just got off it. But I'm trying to get back in there. I know. And I, people who have the time to, like, really consume and just, like, devour books, you're better people than what we are. You are elite. And I know that there's, like, people like to talk about their books because they're such better humans. I want to be that. And I buy books, and I read a chapter. And I just don't have time. And so I have all of these books that I've

started. And I used to be a book reader. And then I started procreating. I get the impression. This is not going to be groundbreaking for a lot of people. I have seen this doing the rounds for a long time and I finally got on board with it. It's called Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yaros. Have you not heard it? I've heard it, but I haven't. I'm not in the world of Fourth Wing. So I'm just going to read it straight from the book so you know what it's about.

Fourth Wing is a new adult fantasy romance novel written by an American author. It is the first book in the Imperian series following the journey of Violet Sorengengale who is forced by her mother, General Sorengengale, to join the Baskiath War College and become a dragon writer. But it's essentially like the way I would describe it. It's like a new age version of a Harry Potter. They're in a castle. They ride dragons. They're fighting like these other mythical creatures.

There's like sex in there as well. It's a lot of death, a lot of murder. I loved it. I absolutely loved it. Like a horny Harry Potter. Yeah. Great. Because they're older.

It's weird. It was really good. And they're making it into a movie. And rumor has it that Australian Josh Houston has been cast in it. It's going to be massive. And if that rumor is true. That's incredible. But if you haven't read it and you're like me and you have just seen it floating around,

a lot of people were talking about it. I even saw Call Her Daddy, Alex Cooper talking about it. She got sucked into it as well. I'm strapping in. I'm going to do this. How much have you actually read? The whole book. Have you really?

I wasn't convinced when you were reading the blur. Well, because I thought it was easier to read the blurb. No, 100%. I'm super into it. But interestingly, I was speaking to my sister Sherry about it. She's an avid reader. She wasn't as into it. She was like, oh, the sex was corny.

And I was like, okay. She's probably read a little bit. bit more like clitrejut than you have. I was like, he got his dragon wand out. Everyone was like, anyway, that's my vibe. It's called fourth wing. Let's get into your ask un-cut questions. Question number one. I am currently spiraling and needing some support and guidance. That's what we're here for. We are your big sisters. Support and guide. Maybe your little sisters. My sister is currently overseas and I had her husband over for dinner. He will be meeting with her and her kids in a couple of days as he was unable to leave on the same day due to work.

Whilst at my house, she video called him and then her and I started to have a chat. I went into the other room to continue the conversation because it was too loud in the lounge room and my kids had the TV on. When we hung up, the phone call ended in WhatsApp's main screen where you can see all the chats. The first chat was my sister and then I saw the chat below her had a photo of a girl but no name, just a question mark. I got curious, so I clicked on the message and it was in his native tongue so I couldn't understand any of it. I did pick up a couple of words such as sexy. This girl had sent selfies and a lot of other photos to him. I started to take photos of the chat from my phone so I could then go and translate it. Wait, I need to understand this way. So she had his phone. Yeah,

so like her and her brother-in-law were at home and her sister facetimed her husband on WhatsApp. And she took the phone. So she was just chatting and when she hung up the phone in In WhatsApp, she saw all these other messages. She started to take photos so she'd go and translate it. What she did see was that there were multiple video calls to this number, to this girl with a question mark. I have translated the conversations they've been having. They have definitely been flirty.

I'm currently spiraling and I don't know what to do. As mentioned, she's overseas and I don't want to ruin her holiday and her hard work. Do I wait until she's back? Do I say anything at all? Please be kind. Thank you. Oh yeah. You wait until she comes back.

I think as soon as she comes back, you have the conversation with her. There's no point having it right now while she's away. That is such a hard place to be in. You have to. And especially if you took screenshots, like you've got the evidence. It's not like you're... He can't delete them. Yeah, he can't delete them.

You're not remembering it incorrectly. It's not secondhand information. Like, you saw it. You've seen the photos. You've seen the conversation. You've translated the messages. I would wait until she comes home, assuming she's only a way on like a short holiday. Let her enjoy her holiday because her world is about to blow the

fuck up. So let her enjoy this holiday come home. The day she gets home, you need to take her out for lunch or you need to go to a house or something. But like you have to tell your sister. Oh my God, 100%. I know what my brain would be doing. I would be like reverse image searching. I would be trying to find who this is, especially if they're talking in native tongue. I wonder if she's someone he knows from back home, like wherever that country is. I don't know. I would be wanting to know more. Not wanting to know more because that's going to be the decider of if I tell her or not. I'm 100% going to tell her. You just want all the information.

I would just not be able to stop there. Like if there is a full, if there are full blown conversations, multiple calls, what are they doing on those calls if they're sending selfies to each other on their photos? The texts are flirty. You don't need to ever call another woman like that in a relationship. You don't need to be sending selfies to another woman in a relationship. Yeah. You also don't just like have.

a photo of someone with question mark that you're contacting all the time. I don't know who you are. I know who you are, but let's have a conversation. What's your name? It's really hard for both of you because it's going to absolutely crush your sister, but you're the one that has to break it to her at the same time. And I'm thinking of like me and my sister. And if I ever had to do that, it would make me sick. But you have to do it. 100%. And I think the thing is, I don't think that this is going to be an instance where it's a shoot the messenger kind of situation. The reason why I don't think that is is because you have the proof. You've, taken photos of his phone. He can't then lie and say it wasn't there. He can't call you crazy.

He can't make you the enemy. Like, you have the proof because you armed yourself with it. And so, yes, your sister will be so hurt like she is going to really need your support and she's going to need you there. But I don't think her reaction is going to be able to be like, oh, she's not going to be a downplay what it is that you have seen or what you've read. I'm not saying that she's going to instantly leave him. We don't know what the outcome is. but that is for her to decide, that is for her to work out, but you have to tell her this information. 100%.

But I would wait until after the holiday, wouldn't you? I think I would wait, for sure. It was pretty bawlsy be having these conversations with someone just openly in a WhatsApp. That seems fucking weird to me. He probably didn't expect that she was going to take the phone and take it walking. I even think that it would end up on that screen. You know, your partner FaceTime's you. And then she says, oh, can I talk to my sister?

You're not going to be like, no, because I can't let your sister touch my phone because I'm a fucking creep. You're going to try and be as cool as possible. The last thing you're going to think is that they're going to spend any time in the actual WhatsApp chat themselves. Because most people would just hang up and pass the phone over. I guess it's good that you did look. I probably wouldn't have noticed that. Like I wouldn't have looked at who was in the text message.

I'm just looking at my WhatsApp now. I reckon you would have. You would look at your sister's husband's phone and you'd look at their WhatsApp and look at their messages. She's obviously just looked down and hung up on the WhatsApp and then it's taken it to the screen. You know, it's probably a standout profile photo, you know? Yeah, I get you. I look yeah you would for sure for sure I don't even think that this is a thing that you need to toss up

you must tell your sister that is the only the only correct way of navigating this I'm glad that you took photos I'm glad that you're going to handle it in like the best way possible but I definitely think just let her enjoy the holiday that she's having because there's nothing that she'll be able to do from where she is and there's no conversation that she'll be able to have from where she is it's a face-to-face situation and you don't want it to have it on holiday with kids and him and like, definitely when she comes back. Oh my God, that's so awful. I would love to know for anyone who's kind of been in a situation like this, I find this type of story quite fascinating, and especially a sibling, have you ever discovered that your

sibling's partner was cheating? How did you discover it? How did you approach this situation? Because I think that it is bigger and greater responsibility when it's your sibling, or your closest friend, you know? I mean, I've got three brothers and sisters. I've never, that has not happened to me. It would be devastating though. I think they all knew that the guy was cheating on me. All right, next question. My housemates and I hired a freelance cleaner for a big spring clean. One of my housemaids owns a set of Maison-Balsack glasses,

which only come in pairs and costs $140 for two. Instead of keeping them safely in the cabinet, she had left one dirty by the sink. The cleaner accidentally broke it while cleaning. And my housemate asked her to replace the whole pair, even though only one glass was broken. him. The cleaner's total bill came to $220, and I feel awful about it. My housemate seems very pleased by this. She gets a brand new pair and says she'll get the broken one fixed,

so she'll end up with three glasses altogether. Am I wrong to think the cleaner shouldn't have to pay for a glass that wasn't even hers to break, especially when it wasn't stored properly in the first place? Oh, I think this is a dog move. Get a grip. Like I'd be saying to your housemate that that's a pretty shit thing to do to a cleaner. I would never, in a million years, ask somebody to pay for something if they broke it at my house. So if your friend knocked that glass over and broke it, would you ask her to pay for it? Because I don't think that they would. I think your friend's taking the absolute piss.

I think that there is a limit to it. For example, when we were moving house, our removalist completely fucked our fridge. They didn't wrap the fridge properly and the fridge ended up with a huge scratch down the front of the fridge. I think that's different. The thing is, is like, you know that removalists have insurance. Like, we weren't paying them cash in hand. It was an invoice job. It was very expensive.

They were very professional movers. When we claimed on it, they ended up claiming on insurance. So that's a different story. I would dare say that you've probably paid this cleaner cash in hand. If it's invoiced, it's different because then there's insurances and everything else. But, like, if you're paying someone cash in hand, then you're charging them for two. It's just a dog move. You're not supposed to profit from someone else's misfortune.

Also, guess what? Accidents happen. It's an accident. She knocked over a glass while she's cleaning your house because you can't be able to clean your own house. But also charging someone for both because they broke one. Yes, you might have to buy them in sets, but that doesn't mean that the person has to pay for the set. I think ultimately, this is just a dog move and it is a reflection of the fact there is a very little, I guess, level of respect. Like your friend's very opportunistic in this. I guess at the end of the day, it's like, what do you do?

Your friend seems very pleased about it. The cleaner has agreed to doing it. So unfortunately, the cleaner is the person who loses in the situation. But I think it's fair to say to them, hey, if you really want to get the cleaner to pay for the glass, they pay for one. They don't pay for two. It's $70 for the one glass. Get them to pay $70. This person's worked and now you're profiting off an accident or a mistake that they've made. And that's an unfair situation. It gives me the ick big time. I know, but what do you do? I'd probably say something. I'd probably say stopping POVO. I would. To my friend. We'd grow up. I don't know. It really, this kind of stuff really rubs me. the wrong way. Yeah, I agree. I agree. It just makes me feel, I just feel gross, especially when you say like, she's so chuffed with herself. She's like, ha-ha, now I've got three. I would say something to I'd be like, that was a really dog move. That's what I would say. I was like, you do not, A, you're not

hard done by. If you're paying for a cleaner, you have enough money to replace your own glass. If you're paying $140 for two glasses, you're doing okay. Hey, I got a camera. What are you doing? If a friend came to my house and broke something, I'm trying to think that what could happen at my house right now. I have like a beautiful vase. I think you bought it for me actually. And I have that on my... You broke it. No, but I'm trying to think what could be knocked over. And that's always on my kitchen bench. And if a friend came and knocked that over and broke it, a friend or a cleaner or anyone, I would be beside myself saying to them, don't worry about it. Like, oh my God. Laura will buy me a new one. Laura will get me. It was also for a mason, balsack as well. Yes, that's what made me think about it.

Are we calling a mason bullzac? Is that the name? You keep saying bullsack. Is it, is it? Because I buy I have bought a lot of stuff from that brand because it's my go-to for gifts, right? They do awesome glasses. Two years in a row I got a present from them. Fucking love them. Love them. It's my number one go-to. I have the exact glasses that they're talking about.

I got them bought for me for a birthday present. And at Christmas time, someone broke one. Are they like the martini glasses with the balls on them? No, no, no. They do do those, but the ones I have are like these little tumbler glasses and they've got a hand-blown little lime wedge inside it or a lemon wedge inside it. Gotcha. I know the ones. You bought them for Keisha as well.

Or it's, yes. They're the ones Keisha has. So I have those and someone broke one at Christmas time. I'm not going to be like, pay me for my $70 glass. It's cheap. Get a grip. And I do understand there might be some people right now raging at our response saying like, break it, you bought it. Worst case scenario, sure, maybe you very politely ask them if it would say it was important to you. Can they pay some contribution or one?

I would never personally never in a million years do that. Hear me out. I think that there's levels to it. it. Like I said, if it's a company that they're insured, it's, you know, a situation where one person's not going to lose out more. I think what you have to ask yourself is who is going to suffer a greater cost here? Who is going to suffer a greater loss? And for me, if it meant that I lost $70 because a glass was broken, I would be pissed. Absolutely. I would be so annoyed. But I'm not going to be like to the cleaner who is earning $220 potentially for that's her day of salary. I'm not going to dock them

her salary because of it. And I think that is the more empathetic way of looking at it. Accidents happen, especially if you're paying someone a cash in hand, like under the counter, all of that type of stuff. Unfortunately, things like that can happen. I know that there are people who will feel differently about it. And I do think it's a case-by-case situation. But the reason why I have very little empathy for this is because it's not about replacing the one glass. This person has decided to profit of someone else's accident. And that, I think, is just a shitty way to be. I do also truly believe that in life you are presented with many times where you get to make a decision to be a good person or not. This is one of those little decisions. Like in this moment,

you didn't have to be a dog. You didn't. You could have said, do you know what? This is going to really hurt this person. Is it the end of the world if I lose a glass? Probably not. Like you get to make that decision. It's not even you. We're talking to the listener. Your friend made it. And I truly believe in karma. When you get the chance to be a good person, just be a good person. Just be a good person. That's what I think. Wow. Thanks for that. Inspiration. I can't wait for, it's my birthday this week. Am I getting more glasses? All right. Next question. My partner of nine months messaged me this morning and told me some of his social media had gotten hacked. The hacker has tried to extort him for money using a nude

picture of him that he sent as a single view photo 12 to 18 months ago to someone. He has changed his passwords and reported this to the E-Safety Commission. So far, the picture hasn't been released and no further contact has been made from the hacker. Of course, I'm relieved that this is hopefully just going to go away for him. However, I have to admit, I was very astounded that he had sent nudes in the past. He has never, ever been very flirty or suggestive in text with me, let alone sent pictures. I have sent him a few provocative pictures here and there while we have been dating, but after what's happened to him, I won't be risking that.

I doubt he's going to start now. am I the asshole for being a little bit upset and disappointed that he's not been as flirty with me as he has with other people that he's been dating not too long before we met? Do I say anything or do I leave it alone? Dun dun-d-da. Okay, can I tell you where my brain goes immediately? Okay, where? Because mine goes somewhere too and I'm like...

This wasn't 12 to 18 months ago. That's what I think! But then I'm like, I don't want to put it in her head that like... There is no way for us to know. for sure, of course. But people are not hacking and going back 18 months, two years to find a nude to extort somebody. It's not how it works. This is actually a thing. I will say this. This is a thing that there's actually a doco on it. But people, and I'm not saying this is what this is, people set up these like relationships with people online in Instagram, on Snapchat,

in whatever capacity and they pretend to be someone, they're not, they develop a full connection. they send nudes because they are in this trusting online relationship and then bang, the extortion comes. It is a scam that people do. I've got your nudes now. I'm not who I said I am. Send me this much money or I'm going to release it to everybody. I'm not saying that's what this is, but I feel like that's more likely than being hacked

for a nude from like 18 months ago. That just doesn't check out for me. I think he's saying that to you because he's fucking panicking. He's panicking that if it does come out and he has sent a nude to somebody, that his whole world's about to blow up. A, it is extortion. He has probably done the wrong thing. There's no definitive way to know. So I don't want to say he's cheating on you. For me, 95%. That's where my brain goes. Look, this was actually a question that came in on the Facebook group. So like, you guys have

already been commenting. The reason why I wanted to bring it up is because it's had a lot of comments. Yeah. 99% of the comments in that thread are saying, girlfriend, you need to get your head out of the sand. Because no hacker is going in. into your social media, going into the messages, going back 18 months. 18 months. It's not a thing. Scrolling deep into the webs to try and find a dick pick. Uh-huh.

I found one. It's just not happening. They're not doing that. They've got better things to do. Believe it or not. The hackers are trying to get more dickpigs. Well, the hackers are making it easier. They're not just guessing an account to hack into and hoping there has been a nude in there

and something. Like, that's just not a thing. Yeah, I agree. I don't think that they're pulling something up from 18 months ago. Also, if that was the thing. case, I just, I don't think it would have played out the way it's played out. If there is a nude that's out there, I would very much at a guess say that it is far more and has been far more recently sent, hence the panic that he has around his whole social media and everything else

being hacked. I also wonder whether it's been quote unquote hacked and he had to change his passwords and all that sort of stuff in the e-safety commission. If he's genuinely contacted them and that's actually happened, I wonder if there's a way that you can be like, oh, can you show me? Because I'm finding this hard to believe. It feels very fabricated. You also need to be making a police report. If someone's extorting you for money, it has hacked you and is taking your nudes and is going to release them, you file a police report. Yeah, this is what someone else has said. Fascinating Raccoon 7-6-8-1 said, has he actually seen the pick that they say that they have as this is a known scam? I'd be going to the police if they have shared that photo with him. At the end of the

day, I just think this is very, very suspicious behavior from him. And I would be questioning the legitimacy of the whole 12 to 18 months thing. It's a bit fantastical. That's it. And like, okay, what's the photo? What's the photo then? Because like if they're saying, hey, we've got this photo and he knows it's from 12 to 18 months ago, show me. Show me the photo that they've got. Like, it's, I mean, it's not like he can't show you the photo that he had. And you will probably be able to tell if it's recent or not recent as well, unless it's like a full just dick pick. Well, the way blackmail works as well is they show you what they've got. Maybe it's literally just a penis photo. You wouldn't know if that's from 12 to 18 months ago. I wonder if it even

even is a blackmail. I wonder if it's just he was maybe doing the dirty with someone, like just a normal person, done the wrong thing. And the girl's like, fuck you, I'm going to send this to your partner. Do you know what I mean? Like, it could be anything. But what it's not is 12 to 18 months ago. Yeah, everyone just says, look, ultimately, yes, this person may have nudes of him. This may be a true and legitimate scam and hacker. However, it was not sent that long ago. It was definitely more recently. And, you know, I agree. I am really sorry that we're talking about this like this because it's horrible you want to believe your partner you want to believe that they're telling you the truth and the story that he has told you is relatively believable

and so the problem is like i know that you are going to find it like you know the person who wrote this in one of our lifers you're going to find it really hard to have a whole group of women telling you that maybe you should have your wits about you a little bit more especially if he has been wonderful in every other way like if you've never ever suspected anything and this is the first thing that you're hearing that maybe doesn't sound quite right, it's going to be really hard for you to go, actually, yes, you know what? I think maybe I've been lied to. I just think takes some time, maybe have a little think or have a little research on this sort

of stuff because I do think it's important for you to feel as though you have all the information rather than you've just been told by all of us that this guy's cheating on you. Of course, and the other day, we don't definitively know. We're not investigators. We've just had your little email, but that's what it screams to me. This is how it reads. Yeah, and it screams that to everybody else in the comments thread as well. And I do, I really feel for you for you for you, one, because it is a horrible situation

to be in. And two, it's so evident that it didn't even cross your radar that this could be the, like, the way you wrote in, it's so obvious that you were like, oh my God, my poor boyfriend has been hacked from ages ago. I know. Because we haven't even addressed the question. The question is, should I be jealous that you don't. don't have that relationship with him. So it hasn't, it's gone straight over your head that this

could be an issue that is happening in the present rather than something that was in the past. And hypothetically, let's answer your question, hypothetically, it did happen 18 months ago and everything he has said is true. And we're answering your question now around how I should feel that he doesn't behave this way with you, but he has with somebody else. That is a valid feeling. It is valid when you find out that your partner used to be a certain way with somebody and isn't that way with you. And that could be a multitude of reasons, not necessarily just nudes, but it could be sex. It could be the way that they treat you, the presence they buy, the way they take you out and dates. It can show up differently and it can hurt sometimes when you think they

did more or cared more or turned up more for somebody else than you. Let's pretend it's not the nudes. You can actually just chat to him about this. So you can chat to him and say that you feel like you want to develop your relationship in the same way or you want to have more fun and whatever else. But when it comes to nudes, what I will say is you just have to be so careful when something is on the internet. It is on the internet forever. And this hacking scam is a real thing. Like this is really happening all over the world. I want to answer the question a little bit like you just did in terms of like what she's actually asked. Look, the hacking and the scamming and whether it has or hasn't happened during your relationship, let's just put that aside for a second.

There is something called the Madonna Hall complex. I don't know if you've heard of it, but it's this concept of the way that some men treat their partners versus treating women that they're not dating or not having a committed relationship with is completely different. He might have this type of concept or theory. So basically, you are the Madonna, therefore, like, you are wife material. He treats you in a wholesome, good way. He would never send you news. That more like sexually driven reality, he is not living out with you, the fantasy.

he's not living out with you because he sees you as someone that is like, Virgin Mother Mary, Wholesome, the Madonna, versus the whore. And I hate that word, but the reason, it's just, it's the name of the theory. Then there are other women that he would see as being like not people that he would want to be in a relationship with. And he would be far more willing to behave in a way or carry out his sexual desires in a way with them because he can separate the two types and put them into two separate buckets.

It's a really fascinating theory around how some men, behave in relationships and then outside of relationships. It's also why a lot of women can have these realizations and moments in their relationship where they find out their partner was cheating, but there was not any signs. They're like, I didn't know that he would ever do those things because he's never been like that to me or in our relationship. It's because he's like compartmentalized his sexual desires into two separate camps. Yeah, they basically just are more sexually adventurous and want to do more with someone that they don't quote, unquote, value or love or want to take home for the rest of their life. It's quite a degrading separation when you think about it.

But I know so many people who men who experience, or I don't want to say live by, it's the wrong thing, but who experience this Madonna Hall complex where they say, I don't know why, but I don't want to do certain things with my partner that I would do with someone if it was like a one-night stand or a weekend or a fling or whatever. It's fascinating. I also think, like, apart from the Madonna Hall complex, I also think that there are some relationships are different. I've definitely been different in some relationships that I have been in others. There's definitely been relationships in my past. It's been way more sexually adventurous than others. And it's not because I loved that person more by any means. It was probably because I felt more pressure to perform in

that relationship sexually. So I did things that I actually didn't kind of enjoy or I was more open to stuff because I felt as though it needed to be done in order to keep them happy. Whereas like now in a committed very happy relationship with Matt, I don't feel the need to perform. I don't feel the need to perform to that level. I'm fucking doing cartwheels and backflips and everything else. I don't need to because I'm really happy and he's really happy and our sex is great. I don't need to do all the other stuff that I actually wasn't enjoying anyway. Well, sometimes you also feed off your partner. So it might not have been him that was the instigator in sending other nudes. His partner might have been really sexually explicit and

wanting to do that and then you do it in return. Like I've been in those relationships where you match the energy of the partner and that's why every relationship looks different. Don't overthink that part, but I do think you need to put a little bit more time and energy. into thinking about this situation. The timeframe. And what could be at the core. And I'd be asking him some questions. You're entitled to do that.

I agree. Next question. Am I shooting myself in the foot by not accepting real-life dates by everyone? Now, that sounds confusing, but I'm going to explain it. I'm back on the dating apps and I get plenty of matches, messages and offers for dates. However, upon deeper screening, I find that these guys say that they're looking for casual or friends with benefits. So they're basically being really up front with what they want. Not looking for anything serious, just casual, looking for sex.

I am not looking for that. My now ex didn't want something serious when we matched, but upon meeting me, he changed his mind and wanted to be exclusive within a month of meeting. I'm concerned I'm ruining my chances at finding someone because I'm limiting myself only to guys who say they want the relationship before meeting. Should I go out with everyone who asks me out, or am I limiting myself by saying I'm only going to go out with people if they also state very clearly that they are looking for something serious? Oh, it's such a hard one because of course

someone might meet someone and then change their mind that they're not looking for something serious. But it comes down to whether or not you can emotionally be bothered and whether or not you emotionally get attached way easier than other people. For example, if you go out and a date with someone. They've made it very clear they only want something casual. You then decide, okay, well, we're going to start sleeping together. You have to keep your wits about you the whole time because they've said, I don't want anything serious. You've got to be completely nonchalant about the whole thing, even though you also want a relationship. So do not catch feelings. And then you're playing this weird game around whether or not you're allowed to start getting

feelings for them because you can't, if they're not, I don't know. I just don't think it's worth it. I think keep on the track of like, especially if you're doing the online dating thing, I think if people are very much communicating with you that they want nothing serious, I would give those people a wide berth. Unless you're okay with having a bit of fun on the side at the same time. I think you need to dabble in both personally. And I say this with caution. You are absolutely doing the right thing. Like we always say, be clear about what you want so that you're not wasting your time and we want other people to be clear about what they want so you can just get on with it. If somebody is clearly stating, clearly, I am only looking for casual and friends with benefits.

Of course there is a chance that maybe you guys fall head over heels in love. I doubt it. But it's more likely that they are just looking for something very casual. You very well may be limiting yourself. Sure. You don't know what's going to come from that. But I think you'll exhaust yourself very quickly if you just start going on dates with every single person when they have made their boundaries and what they're looking for really clear.

and you know what you want deep down. Having said that, girl has needs. Can you not try to manage both? Like even somebody that's looking for something casual, that doesn't mean like I want sex on the first date and never see you again. It might mean a really long relationship of sorts that's just not exclusive. That could turn into something.

But I think what I would be doing is still really actively trying to look for what I want, which is somebody serious, somebody that wants to commit, something long term. But I would be maybe putting my finger in other pies at the same time. So I would be doing a bit of both. If you think there is a vibe with somebody that even if they're saying, I'm looking for friends with benefits, if you think there's a bit of a vibe there,

you can go into that. Just go into it with your eyes open. They're being clear. There's no miscommunication there. I think the big thing is, is like, regardless of whether someone's looking for a long-term relationship or they're looking for something casual, if you are dating, don't put all your eggs in the one basket.

That's what this is about. Just because someone says, yes, I'm looking for a long-term relationship doesn't mean that they're going to be the right person anyway. So I think if you are able to date because dating can be fun, if you're able to do that alongside meeting other people, potentially still having sexual relationships, if you want to, if you can be fucking bothered, then that's great. But I definitely don't think that you have to be quite as rigid as like before you've even met someone.

Hi, what is it that you're looking for? And if it's not like, I'm looking for my wife. sorry I can't date you. There's got to be some fluidity to the conversation. I actually understand that. And I say that because I've got friends that are dating. I've been dating for a long time. And they know what they're in their 30s.

They know what they're looking for. They want something serious. They're beyond the casual thing. And so when someone says online, I'm just looking for casual. They don't waste their time anymore. I agree. Yeah. So I don't think you're putting your eggs in one basket, but you're putting them in one category.

And maybe there can be a bit of a crossover, you know, the Venn diagram crossover where I don't know. I look at myself. I tried to have a one-night stand. It could not be more. We were so adamantly clear to each other with our communication that we were not looking for anything. We will not see you again. Ben was like, I don't like PDA. I don't do long distance. I want you to be okay with what this is going to be. And I was like, I am okay with this. Let's do it. Got married. Can I say, though, when I say I agree, there are different types to it, right? If someone says, I am only after sex and you are not after sex, don't go on a day with them. What a fucking pointless thing to do, right? Like there are absolutely people that are exclusions. If someone's like,

oh, you know, I'm actually just looking for something casual. I've only been out of a relationship for six months. And you're not looking for something casual. If you are able to and you want to, you can go on a date with them, but fucking have your wits about you is what I'm saying. I know that there's this whole idea of don't waste your time, don't get invested, but some people can date casually, meet new people, like you said, Brit, have, you know, a bit of a side piece and they are not going to catch feelings. Other people are very different. Other people are like if you start having sex, if you start hanging out a lot, the feelings come and then you have put yourself into a position where you are at risk of getting hurt, even though that person has been telling you since the start that they don't want what you want.

And I think if you know that you're that type of person, don't do it. It's not worth it. But if you are the other type of person that's able to kind of juggle a few things at the same time and aren't easily emotionally attached, then I would say explore all options, get a little bit of, I guess, experience and fun in dating at the same time. But I think be careful with being too rigid before you have even met someone. And the only reason for that is is because that can come on super, super strong as well. Like you've never met them. You've barely spoken to them and you're like, are you after a girlfriend? Do you want to get married? No, because online dating laws, it says that. It says what you're looking at. It's like a prompt. So you can actually fill it out. So they don't even

have to have said it. So if it's casual, you're just skipping straight past. Yeah. So I think this girl might be, I think she might just be scrolling past people and not even exploring the chatting to them part because they're like exhausting though isn't it like it's so exhausting. Dating is fucked. Dating can be the best thing ever but it can be super fucked as well. But it's even more of a mind field. If you know that you want something serious and then you are swiping right on someone who's like, yep, just want casual. It just feels like an enormous waste of time. I understand why you're like, hey, am I on one hand potentially missing out on someone that could be the exception to the rule or am I wasting my time? You're never going to

No, I guess preserve your time because you will get burnt out way faster if you're saying yes to all these people who are saying that they want casual dating and not something serious. That's my only worry for you. And just to really confuse you, some people also, and because I used to do this as well, some people also used to say not looking for anything serious, looking for something casual, when they sort of are looking for something serious, but they don't want to put it out their blanket statement because I don't want people coming on too hot. So it's more like, I'm not actively dying for a relationship, but I'm not opposed.

to it, it's like this middle ground. So sometimes when people are like, oh, looking for casual, really deep down, that could mean casual, but open to it. But then you're not to know that. I just mean don't completely limit those people because you don't know where that could go as well. Okay. Well, then why isn't there a prompt for that? Got great question, Laura. Potentially looking for something serious if the right person came along. But right now, just after something casual, like that should be a prompt. There might be. I've been out of the game four years. There might be a prompt. We need someone in the game. Sophie, why have you got a boyfriend?

friend. God damn it. We need a single person in here. Lockhe eight. Yeah, but Lockhees on Grindr and stuff. That's fine. No, that's just like, let's meet up. Yeah, but he's on normal dating apps as well. The guy's after a relationship. Let's not limit. Poor Locky's over there. Like, how did I get dragged into this fucking hellhole? Claire. Okay, we've got Claire. Claire here is speaking for all single people. She is the voice of all single people now. My title I've always wanted.

She's like, fuck you, Laura. They have now added that you can put in open to seeing where things go. and I have noticed that every man that I'm seeing has changed their options to only that, which means you have no idea. That could mean anything that open to seeing where it goes tonight, in the future, tomorrow? What does that mean? It's a bit sneaky, right? Yes.

And for someone looking for long term, that is not enough information for me. So you need it to be casual or serious? No, I'm serious. Seriously. Don't put that out there. But if someone says casual, you're flicking straight past. Yeah. Can't be bothered.

Yeah. What if they're open to seeing where it goes? Well, it's a mystery box then, so I guess I have to give it a try, but it's very difficult. All right, it didn't help anything, did it? Laura's like, thank God I'm not dating. No, I mean, to be fair, I wouldn't. Thank you, voice of the single. Thank you for speaking on behalf of all single people, Claire.

The title you've always wanted. All right, well, we're praying for you all on the dating apps. Anyway, guys, that is it from Ask for Ask for Uncut. If you have any questions for us, let on into the DMs, and we'll do our best to answer them next week. Or you can join us at the Facebook discussion group and leave it up to the Brains Trust. Flott on in. Flott on into the DMs. All right, let's get out of here.

Don't remember too, mum, to your dad, toe, dog, to your friends and share the love because. Did you just say don't remember? Don't remember. I think I... We love love! I actually think I said don't remember.