Life Uncut - ASK UNCUT - Please don't pound me like a jack hammer

Episode Date: April 13, 2022

Lifers, it is our juicy little Therapy session and although we are supposed to be taking an Easter break - well, you just can't get rid of us that easily.On today's Ask Uncut we have some spicy questions from listeners, we are talking about how to approach the topic when your partner takes too long, or not long enough in the bedroom.Also, how would you feel if you boyfriend put another girl on his shoulders at a festival? What if he used to have the hots for the girl? Would you dump his ass?All that and more on your free weekly therapy session with Laura and Britt.If you have loved this episode please leave a review, and share the love by telling your nearest and dearest (maybe not your parents)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders, past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode is recorded on Gadigal land of the Aurora Nation. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura and I'm Brittany and this is our not supposed to be here because we're supposed to be on holiday sneaky Thursday Ask Uncut edition.

Well we did take Tuesday episode off this week and then we thought you know what it wouldn't be a Life Uncut holiday if we didn't continue to work a little bit And we fucking love doing Ask Uncut, so we thought we'd get together and get a little saucy, sexy episode ready and rearing before we actually went on holidays. It's funny you should say that, because last night I went for a little walk from my house to get some dinner. So I was on Bondi Road, and it was thriving. It was heaving. Heaving? Do people still say that? Who am I? I don't know. I feel like when I say heaving, I usually say it in conjunction with vomiting. I was heaving.

I think I used to say heaving like 15 years ago, like the club was heaving. It was fully sick. Anyway, it was thriving. There were people everywhere really enjoying their life. I had a migraine, so I was not enjoying my life. I was just going to get some dinner and some Panadol. Anyway, that just got so depressing. Brittany's having the best holiday ever, guys.

She had a migraine and Panadol and a great old time and a margarita. And a bottle of wine. And you do not mix your wine with the Panadol. Now we know where the migraine came from. But the group of girls out the front, and as I was walking down, they started like screaming at Delilah. They fanned girl Delilah. They loved Delilah.

But we got chatting and I said, oh, yeah, we're actually going on holiday this week. And they all started to laugh. And they were like, oh, look, we're big fans of the podcast, but let's be real. You're not really going to go on a holiday, are you? And I said, what do you mean? And they're like, every time you guys say that you're taking a week or two off, we ended up tuning in going, all right, well, here's a bonus episode. And I said, oh, funny you should say that.

No, we refuse. Here we are. You can't get rid of it. We're scared that maybe if we take a whole week off, you'll go find somebody else to love. we've got FOMO we have we have like you know we're codependent on you all but also on that Brit is actually she's leaving tomorrow to go to Thailand unless a touch would unless I get COVID overnight which if I have lasted two years without COVID and I get it the night before

Thailand I'm gonna cry what do you I thought you're gonna be like I'm gonna do something I'm like what are you gonna do well do you know what the thing is actually stay inside this is pretty sneaky of Thailand so you know how everywhere else that you go traveling well I mean, it's all country to country. You know how you have to do your PCR test here in Australia to see if you can get on the plane? Yeah. No, because I haven't been overseas.

That's what it is. Even when we're going on domestic flights in Australia, not long ago you had to do your test here. And if you were positive, you can't get on the plane, which is great because that's what it's like a super spread up. Thailand don't make you test before you get there, but they make you test when you're there. And that's pretty sneaky because it means like you're already there.

And then if you test positive, they're like, oh, well, got to throw you into quarantine for three grand. Hopefully you're staying in a nice hotel though so that if you get stuck in quarantine, at least like maybe there's an outdoor area, a balcony. No, because it's not your quarantine. You go into government quarantine. So I don't think it's going to be a luxury five-star hotel with a pool in Thailand hotel quarantine.

Imagine if that was your holiday. Do you know what, though? I did read that if you're getting to the airport, you need to leave at least two hours because apparently we've all forgotten how to fly. we're not getting our laptops out at security we're not getting our phones out we're not like leaving our aerosol cans i don't even know which bag you leave your aerosol can in but i also think that maybe it's because the airports are hugely understaffed because they fired everybody and now

they are scrambling to get back to capacity this is like a running joke with sherry and i i mean you guys if you guys are long-term listeners you know my sister sherry and i did a lot of travel together we went around the world for three years a lot of countries a lot of cities a lot of flights if I added up I wouldn't want to add up the flights and if you are new to the podcast the reason why Britney was doing this is because she was running away from her responsibilities in life I do that all the time or whenever something goes bad when Jordan and I just broke up I was like I'm moving overseas Laura's like no and I'm like I'm doing it I'm going wait we had a work meeting the other day with our bosses from radio and halfway through the work meeting at radio like

like sitting there in front of the big bosses like the head the heads Brit goes oh yeah I'm thinking I'm gonna move to LA and I was like well this is the first I've fucking heard about it when are you moving to la pretty she's like well i would move next week if i could and i was like great maybe we can have this conversation not in front of our boss i was like nothing's gonna change we can still be in a relationship it's just like this imagine your work colleague telling you you're gonna do long distance whilst they're also telling your boss anyway she's not moving to la everybody i mean where am i laura you know we'll talk about it off here no so what my point i was getting at is that after all this travel that i have done and it's this running joke with my

sister and I I will still get to the security line and it's I don't have my shit together something I've either left like some pointy object not a knife but something in there that's not allowed in there or there's an aerosol can or I get there and they pull a bottle of water out they're like you know you can't have water and I'm like I don't know Sheridan's like how have you done this you have been to nearly 60 countries now how are you still getting to the airport and you don't know what to put through imagine what I'm going to be like now imagine after some time off on top of that you are literally the reason that people are waiting two hours you obnoxious traveling I have to pull out my nunchucks I have to pull out my samurai sword he's like what do

you mean I can't take a gun on the plane okay I wanted to bring before we get into your spicy questions and we do have some spicy ones today because the reason why we didn't want to leave it for two weeks is because the questions just surmount so quickly and if we don't keep doing these ass gun cuts then they're gone forever into the nether well I mean that's not why I do it I want to do it because i'm all about helping the people okay i can't let people sit for two weeks with their problems unsolved i don't want the life admin heroes wear capes guys before we get into it there is something i read actually it's a bit of a tiktok trend you know that's where we love to get our hard-hitting articles from but there is a woman and i think that we can all take a little

leaf out of her book there is a woman who on tiktok has gone viral because she went on 16 consecutive dates and i'm talking like one day after another day after another day legend with a different man each time and it wasn't because she was interested in finding herself a lover it's because she was so poor at university she was trying to find a man to pay for her dinner every night this is genius is it though well I mean what what were the rules around it was she going out to source these dates were they coming to her where did she find them so I'm just gonna give you a bit of an overview her name is Macau Brock and she shared a short video on TikTok with text over it saying in college, when I ran out of money for food, I went on a dating app and for 16

days straight, I had 16 dinner dates in a row because girls got to eat literally. I think this is brilliant. So her rules were that she never asked a guy out for a date. It was only if a guy had asked her out for a date and she was like, she was sure that they were going to pay for wherever he was taking her. Okay. Girl, what's your secret? Cause how are you getting asked out on a date every day how have you got 16 people in a row I reckon I've had one this year I like that that's where your mind goes to see for me I would because I know the logistics I know how hard it is to get a good date she's just lining them up left right and center but I think that's the thing I don't think that they were good dates I don't think the purpose of the date was the company the purpose

of the date was the meal but my thought on this is like yes I understand I can fully relate to having financial troubles when I'm at university I think I was exactly like I remember sitting at my desk at work and eating tuna and packet rice and five bean. And I'd mix the three things together. And I ate that every single day with some crackers because I was so freaking university poor at the time. But the amount of effort that goes in to sitting in a date with someone who you don't want to date just to get a free meal, that is a level of effort I will never have in my body. No, I could do that. I'm thinking back to my uni days and I was like, there was some touch and go moment this is a bit of devon there was there was a lot of tuna i think if you look

if you put a positive spin on it right they're not going to be a penguin maybe they are maybe she's like do you know what maybe then day i'll meet someone really great and go on another date maybe the 16 dates turn into 32 dates i think she's being really smart she's probably learning something they're probably all bringing something new to the table you know it's great to meet new people she's getting a good feed if she's smart she'd be going to the organic buffet putting something in she's like asking if we can go to sizzler yeah she's like can we go to pizza hut all you can eat you should put some in it like a container for the next day do you do that when you stay at a hotel do you steal stuff in the breakfast buffet no i mean not as a grown woman

i lived in a van in england for a while of course you did i know so i lived in a van but not a van guys i can't explain this don't picture this like fun loving free gypsy life that's traveling around i lived in a van that was like just a tiny little removerless van. No windows, a wooden floor. This wasn't built to travel in. It was built to like put a table in and move furniture. And I'm not talking a big van.

It probably was when I put my sleeping bag in it, I could only just fit. How long did you live in a van for? A couple of months. Why? Where did you wash and shower and eat? I went to camping grounds and stuff. Wow.

I used to go to university with someone who I was quite good friends with at the time. And they would live out of their car, but they had a gym membership, which was pretty cheap because it was a student gym membership at the uni and they would have their shower and everything at the gym and then they would just eat on campus but they lived out of their car this was when I used to surf a lot and we were going to camping grounds and I would surf so I'd be in the water and you would there's always like bathrooms and stuff and showers so

sometimes when there wasn't even a proper shower I would just literally be that person that showers on the beach shower I'd have my soap but I'd have my egg anyway the point of this story is when I was living in the van with no windows and no bed I used to go to these pizza huts and over in England And they had other types of like all-you-can-eat kind of stuff. And I used to take it. I got a container from like a cheapo shop, $2. I used to take it and I used to smuggle it and fill it with food. So I would eat my dinner and then I'd take – but I couldn't reheat it

so it was cold because I lived in a van. So I would take it and eat it cold the next day and I just ate Pizza Hut for months because I couldn't afford anything else. How good were the bacon bits though? Oh, that was sizzler. Anyway, back to this girl. Okay, the one thing about this though that I think is slightly problematic, the internet is divided.

Is it unkind? to use somebody just to get a free meal, knowing full well that you're not interested in them at all and leading them on for that date. It's not great, no. But do we know she wasn't interested, though? Yeah, she wasn't interested. She wasn't going for quality over quantity.

It was quantity over quality because she just wanted a guy to pay for her meals. I think it's a bit bloody mean, but at the same time, I'm like, if you're going to go to that much effort, then you pretty much deserve a meal out of it. I mean, that is like as much as we can laugh, that is different. If she knows that she had absolutely zero interest, then it's it's not it's funny but it's not cool it's not nice them at all but if there if she was waiting for the people to ask her out that she had an interest in I think that's okay she definitely

had no interest and it was all about the food because as you said girls gotta eat don't you remember this reminds me we spoke about this but I mean we've done nearly 300 episodes so you might not remember there's a good chance we spoke about this probably over a year ago about the Japanese man the 39 year old Japanese man and he was arrested because what he was doing was going on dates with women and then getting into serious relationships with them but multiple at a time like 16 17 at a time he told them all as soon as he got into the relationship he got him really quickly like he's like I really want to be with you I love you or whatever as soon as he got into the relationship he would tell them his birthday he changed his birthday his birthday was always

like a month away and he got all these really expensive presents and then cashed them in and then would go to the next girlfriend he got charged he got charged for fraud he got charged for faking his birthday at the end of the day but no it was fraud he actually got charged for defrauding these women out of thousands of dollars for birthday presents he just kept saying it was my birthday next month i mean how do you keep up with that until one day he slipped up and someone was like hang on a minute one thing i think that we can all agree on is that his love language was gifts and her love language was food yeah 100 all right well i feel like we could talk about this forever, but that is not why you were here. We have picked out some saucy questions for you guys

today and we are doing our absolute best to answer them. So let's get into question number one. This is like a little bit opposite to what most people's problem is. So I'm interested to see what you think. My question is, what do I do if a guy lasts too long? Yes, you heard that right, people, too long. I've recently started seeing a guy and I really like where it's going. But when we have sex, it lasts a really fucking long time to the point where I orgasm once or twice before he even does. Now, this might seem like every woman's dream, but I feel guilty. No, it sounds like a fucking nightmare.

Yeah, I feel guilty and sometimes it just hurts. I just don't enjoy it anymore. What do you think about this? What do I do? How do I broach her? I think that this, like we spend so much time talking about men who don't last long enough. I feel sorry for the women out there who are being pounded

into the ground pound town literally pound town by far like pound past pound town into like yeah like pound cemetery yeah from pound town to pound cemetery r.i.p i once dated a guy not to get into a personal story but you know we love one here who was like a jackhammer 45 minute jackhammer oh yeah standard was the worst was the worst 45 minutes to an hour of my life and like walk up and he's like bruce but like to no avail like i would have come in the first seven minutes and then it's 40 minutes of just being pounded but did he did he was there any like position change oh yeah we would change things up but it was just always like bang bang bang bang bang bang bang and I was like how are you not coming yet like oh you're like I did all the theatrics I was like

maybe I don't know okay my number one suggestion to you is like if you were with a guy who lasts a really really long time invest in some good quality lube like instead of just laying there and taking it until you turn into sandpaper first things first is you need some lube that's your best friend i don't know what you do this hasn't happened to me i have never been in a situation where someone just annihilated me and it doesn't end really you've never had sex you've never had maybe i'm just that good spread it daily mail pick it up it has nothing to do with like how good you are at sex yes it does yeah it's exactly there are just some guys who are just like not that stimulated or not overly it takes them a really long time to get to it I also think and

this is something that maybe could be worth a conversation there are some men who think that they're supposed to last a really really long time who think that it's supposed to be an ultra sex marathon most women don't want to have sex for an hour unless they have like unless you have decided yes we're gonna make a real night of this sexy time I would say that most people don't walk into sex, hoping that it's going to take an hour. Well, what could be happening is if you are taking a leaf out of Laura's book and you're like, I was bringing a theatrics. I was trying to make it great. He's probably like, she's fucking loving it. Like I'll just keep going. And some guys can actually, and I know this because I've spoken to Matt about it. Some guys can actually like

they've stopped themselves from coming. So then they can go longer and then they'll keep. And obviously the more that they stop themselves or they, they prolong that orgasm, the more that the orgasm that they finally has is like fucking phenomenal. But like, if that is at the detriment to your poor vagina, turning into a worn down piece of sandpaper, I think that you can maybe have a conversation, which is like manage expectations. If you are going to start having sex, be like, Oh God, is this going to be not saying to me, don't say, Oh God, start crying. Just managing each person's expectations, like explain, or maybe just say to him, like I just really want to have a quickie and then see what he says and see if it is a quickie

because he might think that you want to have sex for 45 minutes I think you can be really I mean like controversial but I think you can be really honest in this situation you're seeing him you're in them if you're in the middle of sex and it's hurting you no one should ever have to be doing that I would say that I would literally say hey are you gonna come are you gonna be able to wrap this up soon I was like because you know this is starting to hurt now I would just be I would just be honest. Cause he's in the middle of sex. Are you saying that you would just roll over and be like, Hey, are you going to come soon? Cause it's starting to hurt. Yep. I would say, are you going to come soon? Cause sometimes it's not going to happen. Sometimes with guys, it's the same as

girls. Very, I think it happens for women more. I think it's, I generally speaking, I think it's probably easier for men to come, but sometimes maybe they've come too many times that day. Maybe they've masturbated, whatever. Maybe it's not going to happen for them in that moment. And they just keep going. So maybe if you just say to them, Hey, are you, do you think you're to come soon because i've come twice i'm ready i'm ready to wrap it up yeah i think you just say that because if people aren't armed with information and this is in any aspect of life how can you make a decision for that situation if you don't know if he thinks you are having the time of your life he's gonna keep going but if he's like oh she wants to finish he might be able

to finish in two minutes he might be holding off for you totally there's nothing worse than laying on your back staring at the ceiling trying to moan convincingly for a lot like for like 20 minutes pass when it should have ended. 100%. It comes back to the same thing. I think honesty is the best policy. Can I say on one thing that you did just say, Britt, which I think cannot be overlooked in this, maybe he is masturbating when you're not around. And like, we do know that the more a guy actually ejaculates, the longer it can then take him to get to orgasm the next time. So like, if he's only just maybe given himself a handjob that morning or that afternoon, and then you guys are going to have sex, that could be part and parcel as to why it's taking him so long to

actually come so maybe heaps of guys do that because they want to last longer yeah because they don't want to go and have sex with a girl they really like and last two minutes so i i have so many male friends and you know partners in the past i've said that they're like oh yeah you'll always jack off before you go on a hot date like you because you don't want to go and last two seconds also like i think if it just is the case that he is somebody who lasts a really long time and it's becoming tiresome for you there's usually something that will get your partner off quickly whether it's like you know i don't know something that you can whisper in the ear whether it's it's there's usually something that it will get them over the line what do you whisper to matt laura

when you want to wrap it up it's been seven minutes um wait like i'll give you a blowjob next one if you finish this right now oh also that's another option right like you don't have to get to the finish line by having sex like you can finish off by giving him a blow by a wristy or whatever he's not gonna come imagine you get locked up you can't go and give a blowjob if he's not gonna come in sex it's like rip good luck i do want to say though that i think that this is a very relatable question. I know Brittany, you have never experienced this, but I am going to bet my life that there are so many women out there listening to this who have had sex with somebody who just takes too long. And it's almost as bad, if not worse than someone who doesn't take long

enough. A hundred percent. But what's your answer? My answer is just to honesty is the best policy. Yes. I think honesty is the best policy, but then I think there are a few other things that you do as well. Can I just say as well, it's definitely an education thing. So if people aren't taught something or it's never spoken about they're not going to know and what I mean by that is there will be a lot of men out there that think the more times a woman can come the better but it's not necessarily like that for everyone like you you say you can come one or two times and then you and the second time is still great but come the third time a it's not gonna happen again b it's getting uncomfortable but if you don't tell him that he's gonna be like oh yeah let's go again

how many times can I make you come he doesn't know that all of a sudden it changes for you and some people can have like infinite number of orgasms like all the power to you but for me if i ever get to number two i am wham bam thank you ma'am i am done that is shut down for business oh no see i could go to probably four four orgasms yeah yeah in in what period of time in the same session wait like an hour half an hour like how many times is he going to get you to four 15 minutes no he no he would only go once wait in one back-to-back sex session you can have four orgasms yeah fucking hell yeah average three yeah I'm I'm pretty lucky average three but four has been my I think four has been my record that is impressive yeah when you hit the spot

all right let's get into question number two I feel like this one has some similarities to the number one question so I thought I would bring this one hot and ready and rearing off the back of it okay i've been with my boyfriend for a few years now but we were kept apart due to covid for a year before this the sex was well and truly on fire it was amazing and i was loving it since however we have been reunited which was almost a year ago now he has trouble playing the long game from from too long to not long enough and typically as soon as he puts it in he literally can't move because he will finish immediately i'm a thirsty girl and i have been known to hit double digits with my orgasms when I'm with him in the past I really miss this I

really miss our sex life he is perfect in every other way possible but I don't know if this is going to fulfill me long term what do I do can I have a conversation with him about this how do I bring it up with him without completely destroying his self-esteem you can't you can't I'm joking of course you can but he's gonna be devoid but the thing is did you say devoid I know how old am I I feel like I've gone back in time. I've been saying bro and devoid lately. I don't know what's happened. She's becoming more bogan.

I don't know what's happened to me. I go through these phases. Anyway, he's going to be devoid for sure because no one, no man or woman wants to hear that, like, they're not pleasing their partner in the bedroom. The fact is he's coming in two seconds. He's aware of that. That's not a secret.

He's not doing that without his own knowledge. So he knows that there is no way you are getting off. He knows that there's no way there's pleasure. So it's a bit weird. It's a bit like the elephant in the room. if he's putting it in coming and then you just I can't even imagine the scene do you both just roll over and look at the ceiling how do you not how do you not recognize it I think the big part of this is like knowing that you can obviously be satisfied and have a great sex life it doesn't

have to just come down to penetrative sex right that doesn't have to be the end goal and knowing that he is capable of it but something else has happened amongst the the change the COVID like that was a weird time for everyone I think it's had some long-stemming mental health impacts and not that long but it's impacted people in a lot of ways and maybe he's got anxiety in his life in other aspects we've only got a really small snapshot on what's happening in this guy's life from your question the other part of this is sometimes in sex I've experienced this before with an ex when now it's a problem you know like whether you guys have spoken about it or not like he knows that he's coming pretty much as soon as he's inside you and he knows that that's different

to how it used to be and then therefore the next time you have sex instead of thinking about enjoying yourself taking it slow getting in the mood all he's probably thinking is fuck don't come don't come don't fuck I've came again you know it becomes the anxiety around not coming becomes more prevalent in you guys having sex than what actually enjoying it is and I think that that's where the issues stem I feel like you're doing yourself a disservice by not acknowledging it and not like having a conversation because at least like by then discussing the elephant in the room and not in like a I'm not satisfied kind of way but just being like hey you know is there something that's going on do you feel like you're in your head about this like what can we do to

take the pressure off the bedroom so instead of the next time you go into the bedroom to have sex instead of it being penetrative sex maybe you go back to ground zero and you just do foreplay like you just have oral sex you just kind of get each other off with your hands and take penetration out of the equation for a little while until he gets to a point where it's not such a big deal. But I think the thing we need to recognize is too, that premature ejaculation is a thing and it's nothing to be ashamed of. It's something that probably more people than you realize experience. You go and speak to a specialist or a doctor. Like if this is, and from what you've said, this is extreme. You've said he literally can't move. He puts it in, he can't move or he'll

come. So this isn't just a like, I'm super horny and can't wait. There's more going on here. And the worst thing you can do is pretend it's not going on and make it like it's an embarrassing thing to go and seek help. It's not embarrassing. There are people going through it all the time and there is help for it. So maybe you just say, Hey, like exactly like Laura said, Hey, what's going on? Like, let's just chat about this. And if you need to go on, like if he needs to go and speak to someone, that's okay. But he is going to feed off your energy and the way you feel about it. So if he thinks you're embarrassed and you're awkward and you're not enjoying it and you don't want to talk about it he's going to feel that as well and it's going to intensify it but

if you just sit down and you're really open about it and say let's get to the bottom of it like let's sort this out let's fucking get back to it he's going to be more engaged and more likely to go and seek help for it and I think especially when you when you talk about this from like being in a place where you've had an amazing sex life prior if it was something that had never existed in your relationship and it was a problem from day one I would say like okay well then this is something that may be a constant in your relationship something that you have to work through. But this is something that's changed. So there's obviously an impacting factor here and maybe talking it out. And like Britt said, going and seeing a specialist and getting to

the bottom of it will mean that you can both get down to pound town for the appropriate length of time. Yes. Without any chafing and without any pain. All right. All right. Question number three, am I being unreasonable? Yes. Or? All right. I think that this is an interesting one. It's a very specific question. Or would most girlfriends think it is not respectful for your boyfriend to put another girl on his shoulders at a festival? I was not expecting that question. It's very, very fucking specific. So I've been dating my boyfriend for nearly two years and we were in a loving, committed relationship. However, I feel insecure at times about one of his girlfriends who he used to have a crush on for many, many years in high school and all throughout uni.

She never liked him though. So nothing ever happened between them. They are still friends, which I'm okay with, of course, as they are in the same friendship group that I have become a part of I feel I am quite reasonable however I was told that at a festival last weekend he put her on his shoulders which made me feel really upset and insecure I'm guessing that she wasn't at the festival he said it was just a momentary thing and he has constantly reassured me that he feels absolutely nothing for her but I can't help but feel upset and I feel entirely disrespected that he would even do that I guess what I'm wondering is should I be feeling disrespected am I overreacting or is this a deal breaker definitely not a deal breaker it's definitely not a deal breaker

definitely not like no if you break up over this like where do we go from this i mean i think that like having a girl on your shoulders could be deemed as being a bit flirtatious and because her vagina's on your neck on your neck yes it's like their genitals turn around the other way and you could be going down on her yeah but this is not the exorcist his neck doesn't spin around in like a 360 okay and he doesn't have a mouth on the back of his neck no my my first instinct here is i i totally understand where your feelings are coming from because they have some sort of connection now whether they actually ever did hook up whether he had a crush on her whether she had a crush on him there's obviously something that's been there in the past so i get why you

would feel uncomfortable especially because you weren't there from the outskirts this to me seems pretty innocent if you're at a festival there's people everywhere there's music you're happy probably been drinking the vibe's high she's still in the friendship circle I don't think this moment would have been too thought out I think it would have been very spontaneous it would have been like everyone else is doing it throw me up he was there available his shoulders were free also like he's not gonna do it in public around everyone if he thought it was something sinister you know like there wasn't ill intent in there those feelings that you have have also come as a result of your insecurities around knowing that he used to have a crush on her and he's you have

said he has made it really really obvious and he's really reassured you that there's nothing there and it wasn't anything he didn't even think about it and i think you need to accept that like don't make a mountain out of a molehill that is what i think is happening here this has the potential to keep snowballing into something huge and let me tell you he's going to get exasperated he's going to be like for fuck's sake like i like to me this i didn't even think about it he would have been like I was there it was two seconds everyone's partying she jumped on my she probably didn't even think about it again and I think if you're in a relationship he has tried to reassure you you need to accept that or this is unless you actually one of those people that are constantly

wanting to fight about stuff you know it's not healthy in any relationship but I would just take his word for it and the fact of the matter is she is in their friendship group so they are going to have interactions from here to there and you need to get to a place where you're okay with unless of course they're like going out one-on-one that's different that if you went and had a coffee with her one-on-one and you found out about it different story okay I think the big thing here for me is like ask yourself if it had been anybody else would you be okay with it like if it was another girl in the friendship group would you be okay with it or is it random yeah is it just because you know that back a few years ago he had a crush on her like just because he had a crush on

her a few years ago, doesn't mean he has any romantic feelings for her now. Sometimes we just have to, with these sorts of situations go, okay, it doesn't make me feel great. Something about it makes me feel a bit icky, but I'm not going to sabotage my relationship or create a huge issue when he's already done everything he can. He's apologized. He's reassured you. And second to that, sometimes I think, especially when we're jealous, because jealousy is such a fucking blinding emotion when we're when we're in a powerful emotion jealousy you can think especially because you're not there you didn't see how it all went down you didn't see the tone or the vibe of the situation oh in your head they probably fucked it behind the demand yeah like you think

your brain just instantly goes to worst case scenario your brain will play tricks on you because that's what jealousy does and jealousy is an emotion that comes when you're fearful of losing something and it's a really controlling feeling so I think like instead of trying to keep him in check where he sounds like he's actually a pretty great guy just think about okay where are these feelings coming from where are these insecurities coming from and working on that rather than keeping on bringing this up in your relationship because it is going to not end well and his reaction for me is a real telltale sign like I think that this is something that you need to he has reacted in a way that you want your partner to react in which is like fuck sorry like

I didn't realize I'm doing everything I can to make you feel good. I promise there's nothing there. Like we didn't think about it. If he had turned around to you and said, fuck you, you're so controlling. I'll do whatever the fuck I want. Don't tell me what to do. That's, I'd be like, run for the hills. I'm going to do it at the next festival on the weekend.

And if he does do it again in the future with the same girl, then of course you're going to be like, well, that is a problem. This is a reoccurring problem. Yeah, but he did what every, his response was what you could only hope for. It was very, it seems like very respectful and honest. so I think don't I think you are you're for sure overthinking this and okay put yourself again I love this put yourself in the situation picture this you're at a festival he's not there you're all having fun there's this big group of people it's crowded the music's going it's your favorite

band everyone's on each other's shoulders you're there alone but there's someone else in the group it's like jump up you would be like you what chances are you'd be like whoa yes you wouldn't even think about it you would jump on you would have fun you wouldn't think twice you'd get off and you get on with your day so and don't get me wrong like I agree with you completely Brit when you put it in that perspective I'm like yes yes yes but then I also think about it from her perspective like if Matt was at a festival without me and he got a really hot chick to jump up on his shoulders there would be a little bit of me that was like oh that's okay like why did you do that do you know I would feel there would be a little bit of me but would that feeling be strong

enough for me to like is it a deal breaker I'm gonna leave my fucking the father of my children because he put a chick on his shoulders at a festival there would be a part of me that would say hey that makes me feel a bit weird please don't do that again and I would hope that he respected me enough that he just didn't do that again and that's the end of it or go to the festival with him next time anyway that is it from us three short sharp and sexy little questions and I know that we are supposed to be on holiday so we will not be bringing out a Tuesday episode next week but we are coming back with a Thursday episode actually we we've done a little bonus episode for next Thursday so this is our that's the last week of our you know kind of semi-holiday

The Thursday episode is actually going to be a catch up on some of the Ask Uncut questions that we've asked. We've reached out to people and we've gotten their replies based on like where they're at in life. What happened? Did they take our advice? Did they run for the hills? Yeah, just a little, just a little tiny follow up. We've been trying to do it for a long time, but we always get sporadic answers, like sporadic people writing in, but we put like a definitive call out. We were like, stop what you're doing right now. If we've answered a question, write in and tell us so here it is we thought that being on holiday was the perfect time to drop this for you so you still had some sneaky little content to listen to and that is coming

out next thursday which is when we'll be sliding back into your libraries but until then if you want to follow along on instagram it is life uncut podcast you can also jump into the life uncut facebook discussion group which is where all the juicy shit goes down and if you've loved the episode please jump onto apple podcast or wherever you listen to your podcast and leave a review please keep sliding into the dms with all your questions funny stories accidentally unfiltered confessionals everything else in between and don't forget to tell your mom tell your dad tell your dog tell your friends and share the love because we love love We'll be right back.