Life Uncut - Ask Uncut - Sis, is this your man?

Episode Date: May 24, 2023

Hey Lifers, Britt is teaming up with Producer Keeshia today while Laura keeps her step-ball-changes on point! Firstly, how do you feel about the Facebook groups that are designed to reference check your possible dates? Do you think it's helping the sisterhood or is it more problematic and a chance for revenge? Britt is feeling very defensive about her home styling. 3 professional photoshoot framed pics of Britt and Ben; is it a shrine or is it play on? Vibes for this week: Britt The Oodie Keeshia Bioderma shower oil Then we jump into your questions: Do you think the guy should make a booking at a restaurant if he asked you out? I had a first date on Friday night and the restaurant was packed and there was a one hour wait because my date didn't think ahead to book when he had picked the restaurant and asked me out 🙃 I got the ick really bad after that as we had to walk around trying to find an empty restaurant to go to. Do I have a right to be upset if my best friends forget my birthday? I always know their birthdays by heart but without Facebook reminders or me making note of it on my social media, my birthday will pass without any thought on their part. It feels hurtful and I feel forgettable My partner is about to propose & whenever he brings it up, he says, "I’ve planned the perfect moment, but just warning you, don’t have high expectations for the ring." My dream ring is $10k, which I understand is a lot of money, but he also has a decent job and about $100k sitting in savings, buthe ‘doesn’t think it’s about the ring.’ To me, it’s such a special and important symbol of our union and something I want to keep forever! I feel horrible saying this, but I’d rather he never propose than propose without a ring I love. If you have a question, or an ask uncut aftermath, send it in to our InstagramYou can join the facebook group here and follow us on tiktokTell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because we love love! xx  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands were never ceded. We pay our respects to their elders past and present. Always was, always will be Aboriginal land. This episode was recorded on Darug Wollamutta land. You want to do not disturb? Because I'm a professional. Hey guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Brittany. And I'm producer Keisha filling in for Laura.

Yes, our one and only beloved Laura Byrne is still sashaying her way across the dance floor on Dancing With The Stars. What's that knee kick thing that we saw her do a lot on Sunday? I don't know, but she did it about a thousand times. She's doing a lot of kicking at the moment. Do you know that I went to a bar class last night and I thought of Laura? I was like, oh, that's nice. She's very romantic.

Do you know bar, like the mix between Pilates and ballet? I went to a bar last night and I was drowning my sorrows and I was thinking about Laura. I haven't seen her in a while. No, I went to one of those ballet Pilates kind of classes and now my butt is so sore I feel like you could bounce coins off of it. Okay, is this an age thing? Because I also went to the gym and I cannot move.

Is it because we're getting older? I don't know what it is. I always thought I was like relatively fit or healthy but every part of my body is sore. I can't cough, I can't laugh and it was just one gym class. Well, this is what Laura's been saying. I mean she's been training for a couple of weeks now. Months.

two months I think I'm so sore like every you know those it's the little muscles that you don't use all the time like for me it's not the quads it's the tiny ones in the brain like one of the glutes joking anyway very sore and I think that you know we're channeling some Laura energy well I think mine was and like I think I've been downplaying it I've been so horrifically ill for weeks and I've managed to I think pretend I haven't been but but I have been I was so so unwell and just as I thought I got better I got sick again so two nights ago so I want and I think you're telling me this like as I know that you're telling the podcast family that you've been very unwell but I'm probably the most aware person oh yeah Keisha had to come over

and save me and bring me drugs and take Delilah because I couldn't look after I was just yeah it was bad anyway that just made me think of something funny so two nights ago I've been getting this vertigo and getting really dizzy and unwell which is very unusual this is not something that's ever happened but like waking up dizzy with the world spinning and then vomiting very very unusual so I don't know if it's something to do with the virus I had or hopefully it's not something new that I've been getting hopefully it's not something like many years or something quite serious but not funny part I was vomiting for 12-15 hours straight couldn't sit down couldn't move my head couldn't look left or right or up if every time I moved

I'd vomit it was really horrific so Keisha ended up bringing me over some anti-nausea stuff and she saved the day for me which was amazing uh not all heroes wear capes my friend no no they do not um some are producers of the podcast and uh so she took Delilah and just let me try and sleep and vomit in peace anyway I guess about 15 to 17 hours went past of like vomiting and being unwell and then I finally was like okay I think it's past I felt hungover and I was like I need to eat something I felt so unwell for so long I haven't eaten I haven't got anything in my stomach haven't been able to drink couldn't even keep water down so I was like I need to get back on track and and I gross feeling when you're like dehydrated actually being hung over is a really

good comparison because you haven't eaten for so long but you feel like a prune or like a sultana yeah but you know when you know that food makes you feel better something greasy a coke or like you know so I was like I'm sorry I'm interjecting here when I was texting you being like hey I'll come and get Delilah but you know I'll stop in at the pharmacy and get you some stuff on the way like what do you need we were going through it all there were group chats it was all happening and then she sends me a message being like oh also if you could get some hot chips it's nine o'clock in the morning I don't even know where I would get hot chips from and I don't know if you're being serious or not yeah no serious because I've been vomiting for so long and I was

like I just want some crazy hot chips anyway I think I was like you got to get uber eats for those mate I'm not going to the hot chip store at nine o'clock on a Saturday morning I don't think is anything open at nine o'clock but lucky didn't because i continued to vomit all day so it's good that i didn't get hot chips at nine o'clock in the morning so i'm like yes i'm gonna order my food now because i'm gonna get back on track and i'm so hungry i'm so greasy i'm so hungover so i get on uber eats and i get very excited and i order chicken schnitzel i'm like great but every time i order i click into the picture and i'm like to look at it because you you know you need to gradually start salivating so i clicked onto it and i was like oh i'm getting that schnitzel it's

so big then I keep scrolling I was like oh you know I'm adding chips so I added hot chips I was like and I'm adding in those two hash browns hash browns better get a coke as well got a coke then I was like oh but I have to hydrate gonna get a powerade added the powerade in then I was like last minute oh looks a bit dry add a tub of gravy in yeah so great order thank you for just me last minute I added the gravy in okay and I'm glad I did because it's very dry chicken sizzle anyway also you know you've been vomiting for a while so your throat's sore like the gravy's a great addition yeah so i'm very excited at the prospect of this food coming and then within two minutes i get a notification on uber eats your order's on the way i was like oh

my five stars is going to this uber rhino five stars is going to this restaurant if you are getting this if you have done this in two minutes bravo four minutes later because it wasn't far your order is approaching and i was like this is incredible how did you even cook this in that time and i was like this is my all my dreams come true so i open the door get the bag doesn't feel that heavy walk inside sit down get everything out like get my plates out get everything ready i'm i'm so excited i open the bag much to my dismay all that's in there is a tub of gravy what did they fuck it up was it one of those like we'll deliver the rest later so i'm like this you fucked this up you forgot my order

i'm beside myself because i'm like all i want right now you know when you're so sick i'm like all i wanted is my order like and i i paid so much for this order and i'm really hungry and i'm really sick and i wrote a thing that was like you've forgotten my order blah blah blah anyway long story short i went back in to check my order and all i had ordered was a tub of gravy So all I had ordered was a tub of gravy. That's it. That was my order. No wonder it took two minutes.

They're like this freak just wants a tub of gravy. Sure. So that's what I got delivered. Hang on a second. With the delivery fee and the service fee. Yeah. Yeah. I paid $28 for my dinner.

What I had done is because I was so sick, I'd gone in and I was just looking at the food pictures. You window shopped Uber Eats. We do shops. I didn't add anything to the cart. I was like, oh, that's a good sizzle. And then I just clicked out of it and I was like, oh, yes, I'm good chips. I didn't add anything.

The only thing I was like was like added the leader tub of gravy. So that was my Avery's. I don't feel as bad about not getting you hot chips anymore. Well, yeah, sure. You didn't even get them for yourself. Anyway, that's my story of the week. Did you have the gravy or anything or you just drank it from the tub? No, I ordered the meal.

I did. And the same driver came. It was the same man. And I was like, don't ask. also just drop it at the door because i don't want you to see me right now i look like gollum coming out of the cave turns out the gravy wasn't enough so i did order the schnitzel i have a friend that drinks gravy by itself that doesn't surprise me gravy's delicious it is good yeah but i don't even know what it is what's a lot of stock and flour i also don't know

what stock is like i know it's salty i know ground up chicken isn't it chicken i don't Do we know what any, I don't know. I know this is very off track, but I just, I constantly find myself in these moments where I'm like nearly 30. Don't know what a very common ingredient is. Yeah. I don't know. Let's myth bust that next week. What else have you got to bring to the table today? I want to ask you about a Facebook group that I don't even know how I became a part of this Facebook group because I think someone I know, I actually, I know exactly who I know. It was one of my neighbors from when I was, this is like my childhood home, one of my next door neighbours, somehow added me to this Facebook group

and then I became a part of the group and I don't actually remember hitting add. But anyway, I'm a part of this Facebook group now and I don't know how I feel about it morally. Are you going to tell us what the group is? Yeah, there's two sides of this coin and I really don't know where I land. So the Facebook group is called Sis, Is This Your Man? Like S-I-S, Sis, Is This Your Man?

Sisterhood. Yeah, like sisters help me out. Yeah, okay. So basically the premise of the Facebook group, I'm assuming that there's quite a lot of these and they're based off of like the location because I think this one is, I'm from Newcastle originally and so I think this one's like Newcastle and The Hunter

because all of the posts in there are from people like around that area and I could be a bit late to the party on this but I think the idea is that people who are online dating like Bumble, Tinder, Hinge, whatever, all these other apps, they might start talking to someone and before going on a date with them or maybe they've been dating them for a little while, they'll screenshot the profile or put up a picture of these guys and they'll be like, hey, I want a reference check on this person.

Oh. Okay. It's like the communal FBI. It's like a car crash. I can't look away. I can't look away because I'm like you are late to the party on this, I will say. Am I?

Yeah, I vaguely remember. laura and i talking about this maybe last year there was something that came up in the bondi area about it a local kind of reference i've never been a part of these groups i'm assuming it's the same kind of a group where it's like people putting their photos up and they're oh it might be similar this group wasn't asking for reference checks but it was a group where you'd put a photo up if someone had scorned you so you're like yeah it was like psi this guy cheated he's a dick he He treated me badly, just so you know. And they just post this Facebook group in Monaco

because I've got a couple like that. Well, that's the idea. And they were putting up these public service announcements of guys that have done them wrong kind of thing. And I mean, I think you could put women up there as well, but the group was predominantly women posting. So this sounds very similar, except it's people asking for the reference.

Yeah, and this is why I don't know where I land on it. Because obviously there is the problematic side of that, of people could say very bad and possibly defamatory things about people. I've seen both sides. I've seen photos be posted and people be like, I've known that guy for 10 years. He's a really great bloke. He, you know, had an ex-partner. They've got two kids, but they're on good terms and like, he's a good dad. So I've seen the positive side of it. And then I've seen the other side of it where it's like, I dated this guy for three months and I found out

he was also dating six other people. He was a really bad person. I started to see these red flags of coercive control or like pretty full on things. And so in a way I'm like, okay, well, that person's just saved their time. I've seen a lot of people be like, wow, I'm so glad I posted this because there is no way that I'm replying to this person now. But I don't know whether it's a bit – See, I don't like it. It's a bit murky.

I don't like it. And the reason I don't like it is I understand that, like, you do want this sort of sisterhood of helping people out. And, of course, there are plenty of shitty people in the world, but there are plenty of good people in the world and there are still plenty of shitty people in the world that were shitty but are not shitty anymore. and what I mean by that is like there are plenty of people and Laura has said it before she's

openly admitted that she's cheated in her very young early days you know like I'm talking like teenagers and early 20s but there are lots of people that have done the wrong thing in a relationship when they're younger they're not that person anymore and I do think at that point a leopard can change its spots and I just worry that it's a place where people don't get a chance to change and be something different and I don't know I'm very optimistic and I love you know I love to give people the benefit of the doubt and 25 000 chances like i'm really bad for that but i just don't like the idea of there being a public space where people can go and post someone's photo and talk shit about them at the end of the day i think it's a form of bullying but i think if

someone fucked up once in a relationship or if they ghosted you online i don't think someone ghosting you and dropping off the face of the planet is reason to go and post them in a facebook group so that a bunch of people can hate on them see I don't know I don't know if I'm that against it you're running this ring aren't you she's like I forget how I got added to the Facebook group but it might have been when I made it yeah uh no I'm not but I don't know I don't know whether for like what I kind of put as a question in my own mind is what happens if someone that I've dated who was a bad person or in my mind a bad person and treated me badly what happens if a photo of one of them went up there would i comment on it because i probably would there's been times

somebody posted your ex so one of kisha's ex cheated on her if someone posted your ex in there yeah right i would i would comment and i'd be like hey i just want to save you the drama and the trauma that i went through with this person i hope he's changed but what if he has change well that's up to her and deep whether she wants to take the information that i've given she has asked for it it's different to just like messaging someone that your ex does she didn't message you directly you joined a group trolling hoping that your ex gets posted in there so that you can comment no i'm not saying you but i'm saying in that hypothetical situation that hasn't happened i think i would i think there's like a little bit of camaraderie there i think there's

a little bit of like i want to have your back because i don't want you to go through what i went through yeah but I do see that this is what I mean I really am treading the line of whether I'm for these groups or I'm not because I think that they can be very problematic but I also think that there's something to like you know maybe these guys will stop acting like dickheads if they keep on getting called out publicly nah I don't know you gotta remember that once something's on the internet it's on there forever like it's literally on there forever and I think that imagine if someone did that to you no one could do that to me of course i haven't treated someone that badly it doesn't that's the whole thing it doesn't matter you can say and make up any story

you want and that's what i was just about to say is like it creates this space for revenge so just say there was a breakup that i just say a guy broke up with a girl normally she didn't see it coming they're in love she thought she's gonna marry him but he decided he didn't want to be with her didn't want a relationship wants to be on his own and find himself but three weeks later he's met someone that he actually likes and he's dating and you're like you lied to me you told me you know that you didn't want a relationship but now you do but you know she can easily go on post him and be like this guy was cheating on me obviously for three months this guy was a dickhead this guy left me hanging you can say whatever you want it doesn't have to be true

and it can ruin someone's life sounds like an olivia rodriguez song yeah it doesn't have to be true and ruin your life my neighbor driving a fast car obviously we're gonna have to poll i mean i know that we end up turning to the polls a lot but it's because it's because we can't really agree yeah i know what you're about to fucking say you're about to say something about your photos i put my hand up i put my hand up because can i miss can i talk speaking of polls we did a poll on if you can put a photo of yourself and kupana up in your house and guess what bitches you can guess who's in the right me however i can do a follow-up poll because we got a lot of messages from people saying does this include wedding pictures also does it include

a collage where there's like many photos of other things as well and i would just like to point out that yours is neither of those things yours are three are you just trying to rub in that i'm not married i know that i know i'm not i'm just trying to point out that it was an odd choice okay so here we go my three photos that i have if you guys haven't listened to last week's episode i've put three photos of ben and myself my beautiful boyfriend who doesn't live here he lives in another country i'm in love we got a semi-professional photo shoot done at the louvre so sue me we didn't book it it was on the spot and the photos are beautiful i had a blank wall so i got three photos from our professional semi-photo shoot from the louvre that we didn't book and i

put them on my wall that's what's all on my throat three photos three white a4 frames next to each other one one one that's correct same photo so like yeah the same shoot the semi-professional photo shoot that we didn't book from the loop and i would also like to point out that the other friend who commented more than i did on this i kind of more agreed with her kim is a stylist sorry she was my stylist yeah she's recently she knows style she knows what looks good and she just merely pointed out it was an odd choice i think we need a photo of the wall so that people can actually decide whether this is a go or not because it doesn't really matter anyway it is not odd you just wait mrs newly in love you've been in love a week you just wait you are putting

a photo up 100 you are doing a collage wall i bet so are you trying to say because i've so i've got these three photos right nothing else on the wall you're very defensive about it you try extremely are you trying to say you and the audience are you trying to say that if i had a few different photos surrounding it it would be okay yeah whack some photos of Delilah up there I would personally I have a painting of Delilah I have some photos of Sherry mix it up a little why does that change the fact why it just makes it a little less weird and I don't know why I don't have weird I don't have the psychology behind it okay it's just a general feeling that I have within my body deep internalist trauma here I'm thinking insecurity why don't you have photos of me

on your wall i see you more than anyone in my entire life exactly that's why i think i would make the wall i don't need you plastered on my wall because i see you every day if i'm not seeing you i'm speaking to you if we're not speaking we're dming simultaneously at the same time as we're texting ben i see like a couple of times a year and he is my love look i have a key to your house i think i'm just gonna print some photos of myself and your friends and put them on the wall just to even it out come home and there's a whole wall okay well the poll said that it was okay more people had said that it's fine but i mean if you want to update the poll keisha and do sub polls until you've got the result you want which is that it's creepy you do that is that like selective

bias or something like that i just keep going until i get the result i want confirmation bias at the end i actually got a few dms personally and they were all positive they're all like stuff everyone else britney you do you you put as big a picture up of you as you want i was like yes queen send me yours because i know that you're only messaging me this because you also have photos of you and your partner on your walls it does look a semi shriny but candles and flowers underneath you know what ben's coming guys he's coming in only two weeks now i'm very excited but i will see what he thinks when he gets here and if he thinks it's weird i'll add a couple of photos there's something i need to tell you about this and this is a very internal

personalised tangent so I apologise but it's quite funny the boy that I've started dating admitted to me last week because we're talking about doing group things right we're all gonna hang out correct he is really into the European soccer or football as they call it is he crushing on Ben he turned to me and he's like hey I have to tell you something a bit weird I didn't know who Brit was before I knew you but I did know who Ben was oh Ben's gonna love that he's gonna have a little fanboy at dinner oh that's cute they can be friends at least they're gonna have something to talk about totally you know that's gonna be a good vibe means ben's not gonna talk to anyone else if he's someone that'll talk to about soccer with him it's okay they can go off on their own

anyway i think it's time we get into our vibe and unsubscribe oh yeah i've got my vibe this week my vibe i think is very suited to this time of year and it is something that it took me a long time to get on board with but once i did and i was absolutely sold it's not overly aesthetically pleasing but it's practical what i am talking about is an uddy oh and uddy don't get me started on this not sponsored but if they're listening would love a new one and what he's like if you don't know what it is it's that big giant blanket but it's a blanket that is made into like a hood and a coat i think that's where it comes from hoodie became uddy but it's got no arms and stuff It does have arms and it also has a pocket.

What are you talking about? Okay, what it is is I'm trying to think of the name for it. What is it called? A poncho. Poncho. That's the word. It's like a poncho, exactly like a poncho, except it is a cloud. It's full of the thickest, most beautiful wool.

And I have a really cold house. I don't have heating. If you guys remember last year, I talked about it a lot, but I have to wear like every coat I've got of thermals to walk around at night. It's something weird about apartments because mine is exactly the same. sometimes i swear to god it's like five to ten degrees colder inside my apartment than it is outside oh yeah reverse insulation i always think the days are horrible i'm like it's so cold outside

today and then when i finally emerge from my den i'm like it's actually a beautiful sunny day but my house retains the cold instead of retaining heat anyway and it's like a beautiful cloud on your body it's incredible it doesn't look great you're never going to go out in it but it's amazing it's a blanket that's stuck to you at all times so that's i've recently gotten mine out of the cupboard that's why because it's my house has taken a turn it is freezing the reason I'm laughing is because I feel like I had to get you to come around to the hoodie you initially told me that I look stupid and that I should never wear it around anyone that I want to have sex with well I was like yeah I was like that is such a ridiculous thing because I thought it didn't

look comfortable because it's quite big this blanket that's stuck on your body it's quite big and I thought it didn't look comfy and I couldn't work it out and when I finally was cold enough to put it on one day it never came off I've been wearing an hoodie for 12 months straight it's the best thing ever i completely agree with this vibe my vibe for the week is a product okay now there are multiple things that i love about this product if you caught a glimpse of our instagram stories the other day as the colder weather has hit sydney my skin is getting really dry yeah i caught you saying that on my story i was trying to do a story about the podcast episode and keisha's in the background going oh my skin is so dry but i had no idea that you were

filming i was just talking normally anyway this product it's a liter it's called the bioderma ataderm ultra nourishing cleansing shower oil okay now they're at 10 times i know i'm gonna put a link in the show notes so that you don't have to search that there are so many things that i love about this product number one i mistook this when i first bought it six months ago and i thought it was a facial cleanser so i have been using it as a facial cleanser for six months and i can tell you right now you can use this as a facial cleanser it gets your makeup off so well because it's oil-based right which is where the dry skin thing comes into it as it gets colder it's really good to like wash yourself with oil products because it doesn't strip your body of

oils in the same way that like soaps and that kind of thing do another thing you can use it in your private intimate areas uh because exactly like that yeah i've been using it in there because What are you doing there? I have a bit of a sensitive one and I do find that sometimes when the pH of soaps is too alkaline, I can get thrush. That's why the whole like – I love that you're starting to whisper as you say that. People aren't going to hear you say you get thrush.

Well, it's because it like strips your body of the natural things, right? This one for me hasn't been a problem. It's been great. It's only $44 for the litre. That's a bargain. And the additional thing that I love about it is that, you know, when you use antiperspirant deodorants, do you get that deodorant buildup under your underarms? Even if you use soap and stuff, I tend to find that there's still this like film. I think it's an antiperspirant deodorant thing.

Well, I found that the oil cleanser is really, really good for getting that off. So I am absolutely bloody vibing this product. And I will put a link in the show notes because now I'm okay. I've just purchased another one. So now I don't mind if they sell out. I don't mind if they sell out because I'm stocked up for like another six months. So it's the Bioderma, many, many words, ultra nourishing, cleansing, shower oil. Many, many, many, many, many words and it's an oil.

It's an oil shower thing and the brand is Bioderma. All right, let's get into the questions. Question number one. Hey ladies, short one. Do you think the guy should make a booking at a restaurant if he asked you out? I had a first date on Friday night and the restaurant was packed. there was a one hour wait because my date didn't think ahead to book when he had picked the restaurant and asked me out i got the ick really bad after that as we had to walk around for like

an hour and a half to find an empty restaurant so we could eat i love this question we have never had a question like this and it's so it's so simple but i understand why she's turned off i do but i think the ick is an extreme response reserved for probably things of more extreme I don't know if it was cold and raining I'd be pretty off it too but I do think this is mostly a personality based one because Britt something you and I have in common is that we're not particularly good at planning things we're more off the cuff spontaneous oh yes 100% don't give plan anything ever no and I'm actually just thinking about the first date that I went on most recently with the person I've started seeing and he really wanted to book ahead of time and I

I was the opposite. I was like, let's just see what we feel like. I don't want to lock in any plans because we could get to it. And the thing that I have a problem with booking things so far in advance is that you don't know a week ahead what cuisine you're going to crave. And so I feel locked into a decision if you're booking somewhere. Well, maybe it's best for you to be going to like an all-you-can-eat buffet so you can pick your cuisine on the night.

Just down at the RSL? Great. Yeah, but I think it depends where you live, right? If you live in a place where you know you can walk around and there's many, many restaurants that are going to be available for you to walk into. It's different. As an example, if I was going on a date around Sydney, you sort of have to book because things book out.

You're not really in a place to be like, let's just try our luck. You might get lucky, but you also might not. You might walk around. If it's peak hour in summer, you might walk around for a long time trying to find a restaurant. I do think for a first date, even if you're not a planner, I'm not a planner. I want to see what cuisine I feel like in 10 minutes. I don't like to book a restaurant. I tried to book dinner last night, 10 minutes before at Toddy's.

I was like, damn it, they're booked out. 10 minutes in advance. I tried to book. But I think for a first date, you probably do need to make a bit of an effort and lock something in. The ick is a bit extreme. I'd give this guy a second crack if you enjoyed the night. Give him a second crack for sure.

But tell him, be like, okay, if we do this again, I'm not walking around for another hour. Let's lock something in. I think it's as simple as that. Yeah, I tend to agree. I do think that maybe- I'm talking directly to you, Kisha. I do think maybe you've been a little bit harsh on them, to be fair.

However, if you're like a type A person who likes things organised and you like things structured, then either you are going to communicate this with him or maybe he's just not your person because, like, maybe you need to align on those kinds of things, you know? I don't think we're calling him not the person because he just didn't book the first date. You know, there is a part that's like, cool, you can book it if you want, but it's the first date and he asked you out.

You want to feel like he's taking control and he's taking you somewhere special and he's putting in the effort i'd just tell him i'd just say hey we're gonna do that again you need to lock that shit in because like these heels ain't made for walking okay so yes or no do you think they should make a booking at a restaurant if they ask yes okay kisha you want to fight me on it i don't want to fight you on it because i can see that most people would be like yeah that's reasonable and normal so i will say okay perhaps they should have booked but also try and be understanding if some people are not really that way inclined yeah it's not a reason to dump the guy like if that's the worst thing he's done he's be

spontaneous with his food you're doing okay question number two do i have a right to be upset if my best friend forgets my birthday some context i've been extremely close friends with them for over a decade since high school i always know their birthday by heart but without facebook reminders or me making note of it on my social media my birthday will pass without any thought on their part i just recently severed ties with one best friend and this was one of the small reasons behind that decision. It feels hurtful and I feel forgettable if that makes any sense but I would like to know your thoughts on the matter. Should best friends know each other's birthdays without being reminded by social media? Oh this makes me sad that I hope it's not the main

reason you severed ties with your friend. I just recently severed ties with one of my best friends this was one of the small reasons behind that. That makes me sad because I don't think a friendship is defined by somebody remembering your birthday and I'm going to say that because I'll put my hand up and say I forget everyone's birthdays there's a small group of people's birthdays that I remember which are my family Keisha's because Keisha's birthday is my birthday we have the same birthday which is the 21st of August and you know the person that I'm dating I think in terms of a friend group I always remember around when it is I remember the month or if it's at the end of that month but I often don't remember until I'm reminded and maybe I'm reminded because they're

saying hey it's my birthday dinner next week maybe it's a Facebook post but I don't think that makes you a bad friend I would still be able to say I know I'm a really good friend for that person because I'm I see them all the time I turn up for them they turn up for me we love each other I don't think remembering a date means anything now that's just me I understand why it might make you upset especially because you know that you go above and beyond for your friends and we always have as humans we have this expectation of like receiving what we give which sometimes isn't the case I'm hoping and I'm assuming your friends do give back to you and fill your cup in other ways if the whole thing is that their shit friend and they forget your birthday but they're just a dick

head as well that's different but if they're showing up for you in other ways and they just don't remember a date of the year I think that's okay I think that you probably shouldn't have severed ties with your friend in that situation but that's me and birthdays don't mean a lot to me. So it's very personal. I have two things to say about this. One, when I have done this in the past, it's actually not the fact that I've forgotten my friend's birthday. It's the fact that I'm not aware of what the date actually is. And I've actually done this to my mum. But her birthday is at the start of January. And you know that time period over Christmas where you have no idea what day it is, you have no idea what date it is. I have literally forgotten her birthday

before and I felt so bad about it but that is what happens more often for me with my friends birthdays if someone was to say like randomly what's blah blah's birthday and it was you know six months away I'd be like oh their birthday's on this day but when it actually comes to it sometimes I get the Facebook notification thing being like it's these people's birthdays and I'm oh shit like I need to order some flowers for them or I need to order something to be like here have a donut or a cupcake delivered to your work because you're one of my closest people I love you so much but I just didn't know what the date of that actual day was I have forgotten my own birthday before if I've forgotten your birthday it means nothing I have woken up before and been like oh

my god it's my birthday tomorrow like I didn't even know yeah that's because someone said are you doing anything for your birthday and I was like well when's my birthday well I think that's the other part of this it depends on whether the friend who's forgetting your birthday is what I would call a birthday person so you know that we've all got them in our lives as the people that have birthday month and they do things they do a dinner and they'll do a going out and they'll do a cruise and they'll do all these things to celebrate their birthday because they are a birthday person and they love celebrating it also you were just born like you've just been born I mean that's how we feel you didn't win an award but not everyone not everyone feels that way and

so I'm trying to not put those people down because like you know what sometimes you need people like that with the big energy in your life to get you to go out and do different things yeah and I mean we live a busy life and I didn't say we I mean humans we live busy lives as adults and at the end of the day it's nice to find a reason and an excuse to go and celebrate so I think that's what people do it's like my birthday month fucking party month yeah everyone drop your workbooks totally so I actually think that this is a bit more like it depends on whether the person that you're upset about for getting your birthday is a birthday person so obviously you're the type of person who would really put a lot of time and thought and effort into celebrating them so the

question is like, do they show up for you in other aspects of your life? Is this actually that you're just feeling unappreciated by them in general? Are you feeling as though you're never really in their thoughts? Are you feeling as though they don't really check in with you on how you're going in your life? And this is just kind of like the cherry on top that they also don't seem to give a shit when you have your birthday come around. Also, this is going to sound harsh and I don't mean it to be harsh but if your friends if you are just say it's me right I don't have kids I'm essentially single you know I live here on my own so I've got more time on my hands if your friends are a Laura who have multiple jobs and they have kids and they have a husband

and they've got a business and they're doing a tv show like if you're if whoever you're very relatable but no but if your friend is really busy and they have a family and stuff no offense but your birthday is not a priority the priority is feeding the kids that night putting them to bed getting them sorted for the next week like people's priorities turn and they're different and you remember different things and all of a sudden trying to remember another friend's birthday it's just not on the top of the list it doesn't mean you mean any less to them it just means their brain is taking up more space on other things at the moment yeah but in that situation I actually think that it's the friends like that that should probably be celebrated more because

I think that you know traditionally we celebrate things like getting engaged getting married having kids like if you're single and both of us are in this situation I feel like I'm always celebrating other things with other people and getting them gifts and you know all of the hoopla around it and I don't really have much that society tends to celebrate about me so I do understand if you're falling into that category if you're like this is the one thing that I expect you to care about because I've supported all of these other things that you have had in your life totally but can you understand why I'm sure they still want to celebrate it but you can understand why they might have just forgotten it is my point it doesn't mean you mean less to them but you're

upset that they're not remembering like this listener's upset that they're not you literally have said they don't remember my birthday off by heart they need a prompt I think 90% of the population don't remember their friends and family's birthdays off by heart I think I could ask my dad what us four kids birthdays are and he wouldn't remember he loves us fiercely you weren't the password child were you none of us were I don't know what his password is it's probably a dog but like my i know my dad always he was like i know you're august he knows all the month but like he loves us more than anything it's not a reflection of that so i know it's really tough to hear but i think that maybe go a little bit easier on your friends and maybe it's not the

worst thing for you to prompt them hey you're gonna be free in a couple of weeks it's my birthday give them a couple of week reminder i would appreciate that when my friends do that well thank god they let me know that i actually think that this says to me that you're probably feeling a little bit underappreciated in most aspects of this friendship yeah I think so I think there's probably there must be more to this especially if you've said you know I've severed it out but there are a few reasons there must be more and I hope there is if it is just that but just know that I'm sure it is absolutely nothing personal I'm going to put a poll up as we always do on a Thursday we put our polls for ask uncut questions up because I reckon this one could be interesting

I feel as though often Brit you and I feel very similarly about things like this because neither of us are kind of birthday people maybe that's a trait of people born on our day because we do have the same birthday also the odds of that very rare there's like we're like a three-person team and two of us have the one birthday yeah and we'll find out kind of what the general consensus is because i feel as though most people may care a little bit more than what you or i would really yeah yeah because i have friends that are like interesting to me there's not one percent of me that would care if my friend forgot my birthday i have friends in my life that are very much birthday people and I think that they would be pretty offended if I didn't contact them on the

day. Luckily for me they tend to share like a thousand Instagram stories of people being like happy birthday queen and I'm like oh god I better send them a text. Yeah. Give them a call. Exactly you get a reminder. Yeah I get the reminder. I'm the person who needs the reminder. All right question number three. Hi ladies I need your help. A bit of background. You've come to the wrong place. No, you've come absolutely to the right place. A bit of background. My partner and I have been together for almost five years and we are so in love. I am 100% sure he is the person I want to spend forever with. He's my penguin. She didn't write that. I added that in, but I know he's about to propose because he told me. Kind of a good indication. Dude, you're supposed to keep

that a secret. Whenever he brings it up, he says, I've planned the perfect moment, but just warning you don't have high expectations for the ring. Now, don't get me wrong. I think about our wedding all the time and I cannot wait to get married, but I just don't want him to propose unless he can get my dream ring. Keep in mind, he knows exactly the ring I want. Admittedly, the ring is about $10,000, which I understand is a lot of money, but he also has a pretty decent job and about $100,000 sitting in savings, but he's not willing to spend anywhere near $10,000 because he quote doesn't think it's about the ring. Now I'm not a gold digger or anything like that but to me it's such a special and important symbol of our union and something I want to keep

forever and honestly I feel horrible saying this but I'd rather he never propose than propose without the ring I love. Oh so I have two questions. One am I shallow for caring about the ring this much because I feel crazy? Two what do I do about this? One yes you are. Yes you are. No look I don't think you're that crazy for having your heart set on something that you really want given that you do have the means to obtain it okay so I think the monetary thing is what is a little bit maybe catching us up because it does seem superficial to care about the price of something but I have recently learned about engagement rings not because of my own is it because of mine is a secret squirrel because of mine do I need to know about something do I need to get my nails done

I'm learning about the difference in things like lab grown versus I don't know what the actual term is but in the wild diamonds yeah like naturally mined versus lab grown so I'm pro lab grown yes me too as it turns out it's a lot more environmentally friendly and it avoids a lot of trade that is unethical lab grown diamonds have identical I want to say like genetic makeup that is not the actual term but the makeup of it is identical identical but it's ethical yeah however they don't have as good resale value I did find out. Well hopefully you don't resell your winning ring guys. That is a good point. So I think the monetary value is the thing that maybe is making this situation a little bit on the nose you know. Is it the style of ring that you want? Is it the

quality of the diamond involved? Is it the size of the diamond? I think it's kind of one of these things where it's like it's okay to really want what you want particularly for something that you're planning on wearing for the rest of your life but if he's not willing to spend that much on it I think maybe you're gonna have to end up saying hey this is actually what I want so you tell me how much you're willing to put into it and I'll actually put in the rest because this is exactly what I want buy your own engagement ring I know it's not as romantic but like this is what you want and he's kind of made it clear that he's not willing to spend that much I mean I also don't know whether he's just a bit tight around the purse in other ways but I don't think you're

crazy for caring about it I think that maybe if you would rather him never propose maybe you're gonna have to think about ways to get the ring that you really really want then oh okay there's a few things for this a few layers let's start um peeling this onion yes it's okay to want the ring you want ten thousand dollars absolutely that is fine I understand that you have your heart set on this ring now one thing Keisha said is that you could look at have you actually looked at alternatives of having a ring that looks identical but doesn't cost the same price what we mean by that is is lab growing diamonds is sourcing it elsewhere I say elsewhere because I'm pretty sure you can get a lot of bargains in places like Dubai a lot of things are cheaper

there yeah look into that don't quote me I was like Dubai is not known for being a cheap place a lot of people go and get their diamonds from Dubai and then they get the ring made that makes me question why they're cheaper and I feel like I don't want to know the answer the fact that there is a hundred thousand dollars in his savings makes you probably question it more so when you first said like he won't buy my dream ring i don't want to marry him i was like that's not right i don't like that but then when you say he does have the money it does make you wonder okay well why isn't he willing to spend it why isn't he willing to spend it ask him that is because he's really saving for a house for you guys is he putting the money to something better

for the both of you it's very different story if you guys have been saving for a long time for a and he really wants to put it towards that or if he's going out partying every week and dropping money on drinking frivolous going away if you're spending money on that but says that you're not important enough to put it for the ring then that's also different but some people can be very practical people and they can see that a piece of jewelry totally not a thing that they're wanting to spend a lot of money on i mean we see this all the time particularly in hetero relationships where guys will be like what do you mean you want to buy a designer bag it's a handbag you can get a handbag for two hundred dollars this one's five grand yeah and that's because something means more

to you than them and you have different priorities you have said you'd rather not get married you'd rather him not propose unless it's with your dream ring so you've literally said your love and the union tying the knot is dependent on the ring and i don't think that though or is it dependent on the fact he hasn't listened to her well no she literally just said i want my dream ring or i don't want to get married but what i mean by that is like is it because simply of the ring or is it the fact that he is not willing to recognize that this is something very important to her and therefore he should care about it simply because she cares about it is there like a deeper meaning do you know what i mean well i mean maybe but i mean at the end of the day

she said i feel horrible saying this i'd rather he never proposed than propose without a ring i love i get the the ring i love part you want to love what's on your hand like i would be shattered if i got given a ring an engagement ring and i didn't like it aesthetically like if i didn't like it and I thought, oh my God, I've got to wear that forever. What was that ring that Sam and Snez on The Bachelor had, the chisel ring? Do you remember that? But I would still say yes because I loved them

and then I would sort it out after. That's the part for me that – And then you'd melt it down and you'd get it restructured. Absolutely. You would pawn that off and get something else. No, but I think that that's the main thing. At the end of the day, I know it's upsetting that you're not going to get your dream ring, but is there not another ring

that you absolutely love as much but maybe cost less? Is there a way that you can meet halfway? maybe reconsider that you would rather not get married at all if it's not for the ring because if he's your person and your penguin you'll definitely work that out of course what Keisha said absolutely if you want to add some money to your own ring go for it maybe you can propose and you've said you want to get married maybe you can you know settle on a ring now propose and then work it out later maybe in six months or a year you can upgrade it to something that you love more there are options but I wouldn't not marry the poor guy because you don't have your

absolute very specific ten thousand dollar dream ring and that's just me I guess at the end of the day and maybe that's because I've been single and lonely and desperate for so long that if someone proposed me I'd fucking jump at it I'd be like yeah I'll take it is that a burger ring I'll say yes I will take that onion ring I am allergic to onions but I will take it and these are not tears of happiness they're tears because my ring is an onion is that normal though like I mean I guess I feel a little bit out of the loop on this is it normal for people to contribute financially to their own engagement ring i actually have no idea i reckon there'd be people that would have i'd reckon there'd be people that have saved as a couple for a long time for it

because the thing is there's also no normal price for a ring anymore i couldn't even tell you if ten thousand dollars was expensive or not for a ring i have friends that have had two thousand dollars on their engagement ring five thousand ten twenty i know people that have got those is it mozanite am i saying that yeah it wasn't it because they're just like i don't really care about diamonds and this was literally a couple hundred bucks totally it's a personal preference thing but I actually think the more I've thought about this as we've been speaking about it I actually think that your deep underlying problem here is the fact that you've said something's really important to you and your partner the person that you love the most in the world

is not really I don't know if respecting that desire of yours is the phrase I'd want to use but it's along those lines it's one of the fact that he's being a little bit dismissive of something that's really important to you well I feel like in a way you're thinking that he's saying I don't think you're worth it at the end of the day it's like you're saying I love this ring it's 10 grand though and he's like no way there's a part of that that's like oh you don't think I'm worth that you don't think our love's worth that I totally understand that I understand the reasoning why you're upset about it for sure and you're allowed to be upset about it I just don't think it's worth not marrying the guy is my thing I think there's always a way you

can work around it for sure I would really love a follow-up of this one we haven't done an ask uncut aftermath for ages yeah I would love to hear this as well and I do really hope you get married because this this really rare raw love it is exactly that it is rare as rare as a diamond it is rare as it might cost 10 grand love growing diamond from dubai the actual one that she wants also in case ben listens to this whilst i said i don't care whilst i said i don't care like obviously would still love something nice i'm joking not joking you know what coming off the back of that i would actually love for you and Laura to do an Ask Uncut aftermath. So we haven't done one for, gosh, it must have been at

least six months. The way that works is that if we've ever answered, and I say we've, if Laura and Britt have ever answered one of your Ask Uncut questions, we often want to know what happens after, you know, their opinions or their advice has been given. We always want to know. I lose sleep over some of these. Yeah. Send it in to our DMs on Instagram, but just put a little summary of what your actual initial question was. And that goes the same. If you have a question you'd like the girls to unpack for ask uncut just send it into our instagram messages at life uncut podcast yeah we love the detail we love how it went down we love if we maybe you took our advice maybe you didn't maybe you took our advice and it blew up don't send us those ones um but yeah you ruined

my life please send them in anywhere with the heading ask uncut aftermath and we will do an episode soon and on that note that is us gone i think keisha you might be filling in on next week's episode too and then i think laura's back in action yeah we're not really sure of laura's schedule at the moment. I haven't seen her in a while. I'm pretty sure it's been a year. Was that Titanic? It's been 84 years. I think I need to do a wellness check, send someone to a house. No, she's been dancing up a storm and I'm excited for you guys to see her move soon. I think it's going to be airing soon. So you're going to have to all get behind her because she's definitely going to need it and want it. You can follow our Facebook discussion group where a lot of the juicy

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