Life Uncut - Ask Uncut - Squirting, Solitude and Seeing your ex

Episode Date: March 8, 2023

Hey lifers! Welcome back to your weekly therapy.First up, f*ck the casting of SAS Australia. We're so completely over these really problematic people being given the chance at 'the redemption arc.Throw it in the bin!Today the questions we are unpacking are:-My ex and I have mutual friends that are coming down to visit for a weekend coming up, so it is likely that we will all hang out at some stage and I will have to see my ex. I haven’t seen/spoken to him in months and things didn’t end on very good terms as he cheated on me. I don’t want to miss out on hanging out with my friends and feel like I can’t expect him to either. It would probably be in a group of about 5-7 people. Should I still hang out with my friends when I know my ex will be there?-How do you overcome loneliness? My entire friendship group has a partner/is in a relationship. I am so happy for them that they have all found their penguins, however I am the only single person in my core friendship group and in my life. None of my friends want to go out for drinks or to party because they would rather be at home with their partner, which I totally get. I am an introvert and find it very hard to make new friends. I also find it difficult to do things on my own to ‘fill my own cup’. I love being single but when I look at my friends and see how happy they are in their relationships it makes me feel so lonely as I have not found my penguin yet. I tried online dating and absolutely hated it as all the people I matched with gave me the biggest ick. How do I overcome this feeling of loneliness, and how do I keep the belief that I will find my penguin one day?-How do you know if you've squirted?Is it a different sensation? What's the volume like?I'm not sure if I have or not, or if maybe I'm just wet. If you have an ask uncut question, send it in to @lifeuncutpodcast on instagram! Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because we love love! xxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands were never ceded. We pay our respects to their elders past and present. Always was, always will be Aboriginal land. This episode was recorded on Darug Walamutta land. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. And this is Ask Uncut, our down and dirty little episode where we answer your deep, your dark, and your burning questions.

Now, I hate to come in angry. Okay, so we're not answering questions straight away. No, because I want to talk about something else first. Over the weekend, SAS Australia announced their new cast list. Great. Everyone loves SAS. Well, most people love SAS. Do they love SAS?

Well, most people love parts of SAS, like myself. There are parts I enjoy. There are parts I don't want to watch. the farting the wanting to kill each other that I don't like that just I thought you just said the farting and I was like I hate that too no I hate I think Honeybad used to fart a lot apparently so I hate that part and the list has come out and it's pretty cool you know there are some Olympians on there we've got Peter Boll we have Matthew Mitchum Stephanie Rice we've got some amazing athletes then we've got the likes of Tim Robards who was The Bachelor has 25 abs and then he went

on to be an actor we've got some AFL people commentators we have the Thai cave rescue hero Dr. Craig Challen, which is fucking great. Like what an incredible human, like highlight. Yes, Craig. Like, yes. My problem lies with the people that are only known for being either the most controversial athlete of all time, like Anthony Mundine and people that are literally only known for drug smuggling. Like literally the only reason anyone in the whole world knows them is for drug smuggling cocaine in another country like Cassie Sainsbury. I mean, Cocaine Cassie for anyone who doesn't know who we're talking about. Cocaine Cassie, which is crazy.

We've even given her a cute nickname. What a nickname. We've nicknamed her. Cocaine Cassie. The other one as well that has really sparked some controversy in this list is Craig McLaughlin. Now, Craig McLaughlin was an actor, but he's also probably more famously known for being up for sexual assault charges. Now, they were acquitted, but I think it's very important to reiterate that just because

an assault charge or any charge is acquitted doesn't mean that the person is innocent. Well, yeah, so Craig was actually charged with assault and indecent assault over complaints from four different females that he was working with on a theatre production at the time. Now, it's funny that you say you only really know him from that reason. Like everyone has heard the name, but I don't know anything he's done acting wise. But I do know that he was up for these assault charges. A magistrate did acquit that, but they also said that we recognise that you did this. But what happened at that time was there was a change in law and the change in law that

occurred meant he could not be charged with what he had done. I did actually see an article, Christy Whelan-Brown, who was the woman who was up against Craig McLaughlin in these charges. She took to Twitter to show how enormously frustrated she is that someone, and not even, I mean, frustrated doesn't even describe it. I can't imagine. But that somebody who she had accused of indecent assault has then been welcomed back into the spotlight. But it's like the problem with SAS is that it offers this redemption arc to people. It allows people who are the criminal or the perpetrator to be seen in the light of the victim because they get to humanize themselves. They get to sit there and cry and say how hard the experience was for them. But it doesn't allow

the people who are at the receiving end of that incident to do the same. My personal response from that situation was anger, right? When I saw that he was on the show, I was angry and I hadn't even read about Christy in her quote yet. When I read what she said, I was furious for her and on behalf of every person that has been in that situation. This is what she said. How do we feel about someone who was charged on multiple sexual assault charges being put back on TV and being referred to as simply a controversial figure? I also saw a post saying he was the winner of that case. But if you bother to read the judgment, the judge who heard the evidence believed that it happened i am so fucking sick of this shit and amen christy like i cannot imagine being in her

position knowing that this person assaulted me got off because he got lucky assaulted multiple other women and what do we do we put him on a tv show that is going to help paint him in a better light and put him back into the media spotlight for good reasons only do you know though i understand why sas do it yeah it makes us angry and here we are talking about it but i understand why they've chosen these characters. Well, fucking pick some better characters. No, but the reason why they've done it is because of the unbelievable PR that it churns out.

Like, well, here we are talking about SAS. The season hasn't even started filming yet and we're already talking about it. Yeah, but I'm all for a redemption arc and I'm all for giving people second chances. If far out, I give people like 122 chances. But I do think there are certain categories that do not belong on TV.

They deserve a redemption arc privately. Go and do the work yourself. Yeah, go work for a charity. speak to yeah be a better person totally but in your own time don't get paid to do it these people get paid a good amount of money and we are saying what you've done wasn't that bad like he sexually assaulted people women and he's been called controversial for it it is so far beyond that so I do I do hope he's a better person and I do hope he has changed and I hope he's doing the work but I don't think there is not one part of me on here that is okay with that casting and that's

just one of these controversial figures yeah and I think on that you know so Craig McLaughlin has come out in the past in media and talked about how incredibly hard that period of life was for him. He's talked about suicidal ideation because of it. He's talked about the impact it had on his family. And my only issue, I shouldn't say my only issue, but one of the big issues with it is, I guess, it gives an opportunity to frame yourself as the victim. When you're the one who has had the bad behavior, when you're the one who is not the victim in that instance, I think that therefore it's trying to really change the narrative and that's the problem. The other issue is, is this is a 7pm primetime spot. You know, anybody can watch this. And then it comes and begs the question

of who are the people that we are putting up on a pedestal and what are we emulating and saying, well, this is a celebrity. And how does that impact sort of a younger generation who's watching it? When you see people like Anthony Mundine, who made comments back in 2018, which were so problematic around his views on queer people. This is what Anthony Mundine had to say. If we were to live a society, just like Aboriginal culture, that homosexuality is forbidden and you do it and there are consequences like capital punishment or death, you think you are going to do it or think twice about doing it. That's the only way to deter the problem. He also then went on to say that we should hang the suckers and made a link between pedophilia and the queer community. It's

so disgusting that that is something that can be said only in 2018. And then we're going to re-platform these people. It's like almost as though, well, enough time's passed. People will forget. They won't forget enough, but they'll forget enough so that we can put them back on TV and create all the PR and the press that we need around this show. Yeah. And just a few other controversial comments that Anthony Mundine has made. This one was about terrorism, about 9-11. This is back in 2001. They call it an act of terrorism, but if you can understand religion and our way of life, it's not about terrorism. It's about fighting for God's law and America has brought it upon themselves he's also like he called out women like he called out kathy freeman

for being a sellout he made claims that men are better leaders than women like he's just problematic you know a lot of levels it's not like it's just one thing we've put him back on and then we have cassie sainsbury cocaine cassie the drug smuggler she smuggled 5.8 kilograms of cocaine out of columbia that was sealed in headphones good luck to a columbia very heavy headphones and you know what do I think that Cassie can have a redemption story and be a better person I absolutely do and do I think people make mistakes I absolutely do and I'm okay with that we're humans people who knows the situation that Cassie I don't know Cassie but who knows the situation she was in at the time what was going through her head who she was hanging

around all of these things my problem's not I mean yes of course I have a problem that she drug smuggled but I get that she's probably done the work and she will never do that again and she served her time. But my problem is that the show puts these people on. Out of everyone you could put on in Australia that is out there doing the work, doing incredible things, doing inspirational things, like we've got the Thai rescuer, things like this that we could be doing, but we're not. We are going out of our way. It's not like Cassie was very famous, an actress or doing all these cool things. And then she made a mistake and we're giving that celebrity an arc of redemption. We're not doing that the only reason she is known is for drug smuggling so we've plucked her out we've

said yes you are the one we want to put on this show pay you to do it like give you money and give you a platform and I just wonder what that is telling young impressionable people who are the people that are watching this show what is that telling you that it's okay to do whatever you want because look where you end up do you think though that it's a reflection of how we as viewers like that we are so because we're quite desensitized in reality tv it gets crazier it every year. We see it with maths. We see it with the cheating scandals. Like things have to be pushed further and further and further to keep the audience engaged. Do you think we as the audience also play a part in this, that we are suckers for controversy? We love the drama. We

don't want, we think we want the feel good, but then when we get the feel good, the feel good is boring to us. It's not enough of a cliffhanger, I guess. I wonder whether SAS would have as much impact, whether people would talk about it in the way that they do. If it was only people who are good hearted people who have not made mistakes, who are just Olympians who are trying to put their body to the test. And it didn't have this sort of like almost a seedy undercurrent to it. But I think you can have controversy on there for sure. I'm not saying that I don't want to watch rainbows, flowers and unicorns, but there are certain categories for me that we do not celebrate. That is domestic violence, sexual assault and homophobia. I don't know if I'm in

a league of my own saying that this, and I mean, guys, you've announced this list off the back of world pride i do not get it i think it is the worst casting i have seen i cannot imagine how these four women feel knowing that someone that sexually assaulted them is now on a tv show becoming famous and he will you watch it'll put him back in the media people will forget everything he did he'll cry because that's what they do he'll cry on the show and people will feel empathetic for him and he maybe he was in a bad place and no one deserves to have these suicidal ideations and you know, the fact that you said he had that, that's terrible. And I hope he is getting the help he needs to reform in every aspect of his life, but we don't need to see that on TV.

Yeah, I totally agree. Look, I mean, there's been other things in terms of SAS that I find a bit troubling and I know that it is a well-watched and well-received show. I know that people love the physicality of it. They love the idea of pushing your body to the extreme. They enjoy like the military structure of it and almost seeing behind the scenes of what veterans or military personnel go through. The reason why I have, and I guess this probably comes from a bit more of a personal perspective and issue with it, is because I think it really glorifies war and it really glorifies warrior masculinity, which I think is quite toxic in itself. And the reason why I say that is because, you know, I come from an army family. My dad has

been in the army or was in the army for over 28 years. And so I have seen the very long-term effects that happen, the PTSD, the depression, the strain that has on not just your physical body, but on your mental capacity when you're somebody who has long-term served in the special forces. And I guess for me, seeing it being used as entertainment and having celebrities kind of run around and yelling at each other and obviously putting their bodies to the absolute limits. But I just think it really trivializes what these people go through.

And also on top of that, the fact that this season is being filmed in Afghanistan, I really think that we're trying to like create this entertainment around something that really shouldn't be entertainment yeah and it's it's an interesting perspective because you come from it from a very personal perspective I mean you've you've seen it and you've gone through it with your family members I've lived the PTSD with my dad yeah so that's and I think there'd be a lot of people out there right now saying yes Laura agree because they've got a family member that have gone through the same thing I totally see what you're saying Laura but as a consumer that doesn't have that tie i can sit back and there are parts i thoroughly enjoy like when we used

to watch that stupid show wipe out you don't wipe out the people run and jump on those big balls and get pumped you know i love watching that i love watching that i think it's fun to go and watch a celebrity do an obstacle course and get pumped and get yelled at yeah my problem lies in the people that we're saying are celebrities and are worthy of being paid to go on this show and have a bigger platform well let's see who ends up watching it uh when it all starts to probably watch it i won't no i'll only be watching it probably so i can come on and have another rant but that's all question number one hi girls i need help my ex and i have mutual friends that are coming down to visit for a weekend coming up so it's likely that we are all going to hang out

as a big group at some stage meaning i'm gonna have to see my ex i haven't seen or spoken to him in months and things did not end well because he cheated on me. I don't want to miss out on hanging out with my friends. I feel like I can't expect him to either. It would probably be in a group of about five to seven people. Should I still hang out with my friends when I know my ex will be there? If I'm on the fence about wanting to keep things civilized, what would you do? I would, I have a friend that is doing this right now. Really? Yeah. for me like I probably wouldn't go no because I think you'd go a bit cray cray there I just wouldn't go because like if you already had the friendship with those friends you already see

them outside of whenever he's around even though yes maybe it then makes a point that you're like he might realize that the reason you're not there is because of him and that's a bit of a point to be made I guess taking care of yourself and your own self-preservation is way more important than putting up on a front to hang out with people that you're going to see anyway in a friendship that you're going to maintain regardless. I just imagine you, you know, like you're out at dinner and one of those long tables, you're at the other and just like flicking peas at him across the table.

I just snorted. It's also different. Like if it's a wedding or if it's an event that you're going to miss out on actual something that's going to be important, it's going to be time stamped as a memory. But if it's just hanging out because you don't want to be left out of this group, I think you just pick and choose the times when you're actually going to spend time together.

Totally. So it sounds like you and your ex live in the same place and your big group of friends is coming down to visit. This is what it sounds like. I think in this case. Just tell them you want to do shit separately. Like let them go to dinner and then you say let's have breakfast in the morning or let's have dinner tomorrow night.

I think if you can avoid putting yourself in a situation that's going to be somewhat traumatic. It was a few months ago he cheated on you and it ended badly. I wouldn't be doing it. No way in hell. Yes, Laura. If it was a wedding, yes. Do you think sometimes though when you're in this position,

like I just think back on like if this was me and this had happened which I, you know, I've been in a very similar situation before. I personally think the reason why I would find it difficult to choose between going or not going is also because a little part of me would just want to see, I just want to see him. I just want to go looking really hot fire flame. Like I'd want to be a fire flame. He walks in and he's like, damn, she's hot fire flame. That's what I would like. I just want a bit of that drama in my life. Like there's a little bit of me that's like, oh, I know that it's so hard to choose between the two things, But really deep down in the bottom of the pits of my stomach, I like fucking like the drama a

little bit. Don't you reckon? I just feel like this is such an obvious one. Like if he's cheated on you, you're not together. Yes, you have mutual friends. Surely your friends would understand the need that you have to not want to see him because that's going to play on your mental health. It's going to make you feel shit. You're going to be in a situation where you feel uncomfortable. You're actually not going to be able to enjoy the time with your friends anyway, because you're going to sit there being self-conscious the whole time, wondering whether he's looking at you, wondering whether he's thinking about you. And if he's not doing any of those things, you're going to feel even shitter because you're like, oh, he doesn't even care. I don't even

rate in his radar. I think just don't put yourself in that situation. Fucking do not go. Yeah. My friend that is like in this situation. Did she go? He, it's not a one-off. It's been an ongoing saga that we have for like six months. Same thing. He was in a really bad relationship. The other guy's toxic, cheated and multiple times bad egg, right? but they have this big group of friends and over and over and over again he goes to the same events knowing he's going to be there and I said why don't you and then he always ends up being like it was so fucked he did this terrible time I was like okay why do you keep doing it don't go and

he's like I've got to go this weekend because it's you know pride or whatever we're all going to be there and I said I get that you want to be a part of it but I was like you always leave feeling so deflated and shit like every single time and he's like but i don't want to i shouldn't have to give up my friends and i agree no one should have to but there's got to be a time where you choose you like you choose your sanity and your mental health over putting yourself in these situations for like what a dinner but also if these are your real friends like these are people who love you who want you in their life as much as you want them in your life they're not going to penalize you just because you didn't go to a dinner or whatever it is that your ex-boyfriend's at they're

also going to make an effort to spend time with you because I think that if they are only giving you the option of like oh these this is the time that we get to spend together and it is unfortunately with him every single time then they're not really understanding your emotional needs where you're at how you're recovering from this especially when you're the one who didn't do anything wrong in the relationship and you were cheated on I think it's just it's so much pressure it's so much pressure i'm laughing because i was just in my head playing out a scenario i was watching it happen i'd probably like make plans with other friends right and just accidentally rock up at the restaurant because you're fucking crazy no so you've got so like this is what i'd

do okay bear with me i'd make plans so i had somewhere to be and something to do so you know because you don't want to be at home on your own when you know your whole group of friends is out like i'm sure there's something else you could do so make your plan but then what i'd do dress up like a hot fire flame turn up to the restaurant that they're at just say hey guys i'm so sorry i can't hang tonight i'm just but i'll pop in and say hello so you pop in as a fire flame say hey to everyone he clocks you he's like fuck she looks so good no because then you're doing it for the wrong reason it doesn't matter sometimes sometimes revenge is the best but that's not how you keep friends no but just say i'm so sorry i couldn't make it tonight because then you're popping in

you're saying hello to your friends which you wanted to do but you're not putting yourself in the situation where you have to be at the dinner for five hours you also look hot he's gonna clock it you go on and get on with your night all right for me like petty yes petty petty but also you're ticking off a lot of boxes you're seeing your friends you're saying hi he's seeing that you're hot and you're going and enjoying your night and you're not putting yourself in a toxic situation is it healthy probably not disagree would i do it yeah when you say you're not putting yourself in a toxic situation i still think you're going there with the very bad intentions because you're going there not with the intention of seeing your friends you're going there to make him jealous

that shouldn't be your motivator it should not do it all right question number two how do you overcome loneliness have you seen those human blow-up dolls yeah you just get a giant life-size pillow and cuddle it and a flesh line do you have a flesh line i've been lonely i always call it a flesh line i call it a flesh flashlight no i don't have one because they're for a man it's a vagina yeah but that was where your mind went to first you didn't say get a dildo you said get a flashlight and i was like because i cater for women and men on this podcast laura we have male listeners i always wonder the flashlight it was wonder about flashlights and wonder how on earth you clean it i think actually

i know i think because you have one no i have a lot of friends that have them but you can turn you just like flip them inside out and like really get it out there but i don't think it's easy my old housemate used to have one and he used to just leave it on my bed sometimes as a joke um not funny but i don't think he actually ever used it i or like at least i like to think he didn't use it and he used it on your bed he would just leave it around the house as a joke which now i realize is really inappropriate everyone's looking at me like that's fucked okay i didn't even let you finish your sentence moving on yeah for context my entire friendship group has a partner or is in a relationship and i'm really happy for them that they've all found their

penguins. However, I am the only single person in my core friendship group and in my life. None of my friends want to go out for drinks or to party because they would rather be at home with their partners, which, you know, I totally get. I am an introvert and find it very hard to make new friends. I also find it difficult to do things on my own to fill my own cup. I love being single, but when I look at my friends and see how happy they are in their relationships, it makes me feel so unbelievably lonely as I have not found the person I want to be with yet. I tried online dating and absolutely hated it as all the people I matched with gave me the biggest ick. How do I overcome this feeling of loneliness and how do I keep the belief that I will find my

penguin one day? This one definitely resonates with me because I was in that situation for a long time. Like I know exactly what she's thinking and feeling. I'm going to speak on behalf of producer Keisha. I know Keisha has been in that situation too because we are in our 30s slash Keisha is close. She's like, don't age me up. I'm rounding it up. Keisha's almost 30. We were in that situation. Everyone around us was in relationships and were having kids and going on these romantic holidays. That's possibly why Keisha and I, maybe we did grow so close so quickly is because we were in the same stage of life and we were wanting to go out a lot to meet people. We were, you know, crying on each other's shoulders and we were sharing that sense of

loneliness. I don't think loneliness has to be looked at as such a bad thing. I think sometimes it's okay to be on your own and feel that, but if it's actually starting to be all you think about and all you feel and become very detrimental to your life, then there are things you need to do. For you, it sounds difficult because it sounds like you don't really want to be going on the dates and you don't like meeting new people. You also said you're an introvert. You want to stay in. you are going to have to make a really active conscious decision active effort to be going out and putting yourself in situations where you'll meet people because it's not going to just come and sit on your lap and this was for me as well I'm an introvert I love staying in people don't

know that but Keisha used to have to drag me out she's like you need to go out and do something you need to meet people because I was like I just want to sit inside one thing that helped I don't know if this is what you're already doing or if this is a possibility for you but getting a pet really helps with the feeling of loneliness it gives you a purpose it gives you something to do something to love something that loves you back everyone always gets confused if my dog Delilah is mine or Keisha's and that's because she's almost like shared custody because sometimes Keisha messages me she's like I need a cuddle can I have Delilah tonight and I'm like it's true and then she doesn't give it back for four weeks I know I'm still confused as to whose dog it is

to be honest but because that's how much love and and it can actually fill your cup in your situation maybe i don't know if that's an option but maybe getting a pet it could be a cat i mean not a goldfish they do not fill your cup and they die a lot but something that you can cuddle and love i think as well like within our western society we very much prioritize romantic love as the be all and end all of the status of relationships like if you don't have romantic love then oh you must be a bit lonely it's almost like it's expected of us but i think that sometimes we undervalue just how powerful and important platonic friendships are, not just platonic friendships, but like all different kinds of love. Like you say, like the love for a pet,

there are so many other ways of receiving that that don't have to be from being in a relationship, especially if you are not enjoying dating or you're, you know, needing a bit of a break from that space. The other thing as well is, is that I think it's important to remember that even though you feel lonely now, that's not a static feeling. Like, you know, you might feel lonely for a month, you might feel lonely for six months but you're not going to feel lonely for years and there are things that you will do and that feeling will ebb and flow just like so many other feelings but you probably have to try and break out of the introvert you have to try and break out of the it's easier to just stay home online dating sucks I haven't met anyone who I like because you

probably will go through not meeting people that you like until you meet someone that you like that's just how it works I guess the thing is is knowing when to put energy into something and knowing when to pull back but also giving something the chance because I think often if you're an introvert you're not enjoying online dating it can be so quick and easy to be like oh I got the ick from everyone before you've even actually given that person the chance to show that they can be a decent bloke or girl yeah and also I don't want this to be taken the wrong way but situational friendships are a thing and I say situational friendships because people gravitate towards each other that are in the same situation and the same stage of life new mums want to be

around new mums because they understand it they the chaos is the same they they have things to talk about the same way is also a very very lonely time of life as well for a lot of mums exactly and it's the same for when you for people like you right now that you're saying you're single with all your friends are coupled up so they're staying home I have made so many friends of friends people I have met friends of friends of friends who I've been out to dinner with met once but they are also single and you become friends with them you're like oh we should go out sometime because you know that they're probably in the same situation so maybe you do need to start to to branch out in a way that you're comfortable with if you are not comfortable to be going online

dating that's cool but you still need to be putting yourself in the wild because if you're not going to put yourself in the wild and you're not going to online date how do you think that's going to happen so maybe you become friends with someone else that's in the same situation as you and there's got to be someone else that you know in your circle of friends friends that is single that is willing to go out and have a dinner and have a drink and meet people or you just sabotage your friends relationships and make them all single again that's another no who's cheating on who just break up your everyone else's relationships yeah then all your friends are single and then you can all hang out again I guess one other thing I want to say because the question is you know

you're feeling this loneliness now this is not a plug for our podcast but one thing that I found helped when I was feeling that is when I didn't really want to go out and be with other people and I didn't have a dog at that point or I didn't want to be online dating I would go for a walk and put a podcast on now there are plenty of female podcasts that I used to listen to comedy podcasts girls got to eat we've had them before on the podcast my therapist goes to me that's a comedy podcast I put on women-based podcasts sometimes they're in true crime but I find the comedy ones better and I felt less alone I would be walking the coastal walk and I'd be listening to two women laughing talking sharing these moments and I would feel like I had filled my

cup to a point that didn't make me feel lonely anymore and I had a laugh and I felt better so I think if there are things that you can do like that that might seem like a strange suggestion but it's real and it's what I did and it's what helped me. Yeah. I mean, the last thing I want to add to this, which I think we've covered off so many times before we've spoken about loneliness before we've been like, do a sport, get a pet, you know, like do other things in your life that open up your circle, explore those looser connections. And, you know, you know, we can talk about all those different types of ways of bringing in new people into your life. But I also think it's a big part of this is like finding a purpose as well. If you're not happy in your work, if you don't

have a purpose outside of just your friendship groups, maybe it's working with a charity, maybe it's, I don't know, writing, whatever it is, maybe it's journaling. There's so many other things in life that can bring purpose to you that make you feel less lonely, that don't have to do with people, that aren't dependent on everyone else around you. They're things that you have control over. And I really think that like a charitable aspect of that can go a long way. you're helping other people which also gets something back for you and I think that that community aspect can really be built into it so that's something else to explore what is it that you could do that is selfless but also in turn you're feeling less lonely for it question number

three third and final question it's a quickie literally what could be how do I know if I have squirted? Is this coming from you, Laura? No. Is this a personal question? No, this has come as there has been some confusion. This person who's written in thinks maybe they have squirted, but they're not sure. And I guess the question here is, is what would be defined as squirting? How much liquid needs to be a squirt? How do you know? Is it a different sensation? What does it feel like? Is it so obvious like having an orgasm? We all say that you just know, But do you just know? Well, we have producer Keisha here who is a squirter.

Welcome to the podcast, producer Keisha. Producer Keisha. She's like, I'm not getting on the fucking mic. Don't act all shy. I slow clapped you. I fast clapped you in. Come on over. I'll protect you.

You can come over to this mic. Just to clarify because I know people think that producer Keisha and I hate each other. Don't act like I'm forcing you over here to talk about your squirting. I think it was when you called her a squirter that she took that to her face. You're a squirter. No, my objection is to being called the squirter of the team. Like I'm a Pokemon.

Keisha the squirter. Everyone has to have a nickname, Keisha. It's that or truffle. I'm not going to lie. That's the case. No, the reason I'm happy to talk about this is simply because you're not. And Laura, you haven't squirted before. I've never.

Or maybe I am the person who doesn't know. I have never had an experience where I've been like, oh, that was a squirt. You'd know. How do you know? Yeah, I think it is one of those like similar to the orgasm thing. You kind of do know, but a few things that I think would make it a little bit more describable to someone. And I haven't experienced this much, but when I have, I was like, what the fuck is going,

what the fuck, what is happening? Okay. So a couple of different things. Oh yeah. So it is caused by touching like a gland that's quiet. We don't need to know the scientific. We just want to know what do you actually see and experience? So this is what I mean though because it describes the difference

between that and being wet because it's like a different viscosity. Like being wet from being turned on is quite watery. No, the opposite. Oh, right. It's quite like a viscous solution, right? Yes, right. Like it's quite a – Like glue.

Have you ever lifted your tongue and involuntarily – I can do it voluntarily. – had some stuff come out? Yeah, it's from your glee gland. It's called gleeting. So it's kind of like that but down there. So it's like more of a watery thing. Okay. So here's my question though. So when someone squirts or in your experience,

because I'm not going to use you as the benchmark for all people who squirt, if you squirt, is it a feeling like an orgasm where you know that there's a release or is it purely that you know because of the wetness? Is there a physical sensation that is different? For me, it's definitely a different physical sensation. So it doesn't feel as good as an orgasm. Like it's kind of a little bit more like there is a sensation, but like I said, it's the thing I would liken it to is when you lift up your tongue and like the water squirts out and you're like but that's not relieving for me i don't get like i'm not like oh that that hit a spot i don't find the sensation of that a relieving one like it's not comparable to an orgasm or to like

being super turned on and being sexually super aroused but physically when you're looking at it is it like water is literally i say water we're just gonna say water we know it's not is it literally squirming out is it obvious that it's a thing or is it just more of it that floods out like a like a little over a waterfall or is it like a spray gun like what are they looking at in my experience like the first time this happened I only really knew because he knew and said something he was like oh look and I was like and pat himself on the back what is going on but I realize it's because of like the particular technique and the fact that he knew he was like hitting a gland deliberately because that would happen. So this is the thing, right? Because I

feel like there is a technique for making it happen. It's like, I think finger banging is the way to go for a lot of people from what I've heard. And I say this because genuinely it has not happened to me. And my next question is how much, how much liquid is there? I think it could vary like a lot based on like the person. In my experience, it wasn't enough to have to wash bedsheets, but I think that that's not the most common. I think that for some people it's like, quite a substantial amount of liquid. Like lay the tarpaulin down. The reason why I asked this though, is because I think that porn and I think that the general conversations around squirting is maybe what has confused some people as to whether they have or haven't done it before,

because it seems like it is this like huge, unbelievable rush of liquid. Like you're just squirting every, and I'm like, surely it's not that. Otherwise you would be washing bed sheets and laying down some sort of waterproofing sheet. Some people do. All right, Brittany, step up to the plate. Plenty of friends. Don't be confused if you think it's a little bit and don't be confused if you think it's a lot.

You haven't wet yourself. I have friends that have like full cups of water on the bed. It looks like you've wet yourself. I think it's one of those situations like you've asked, how do you know that it's happened? I mean in a similar way to how orgasms are so different for each person. You can have clitoral ones, you can have people who experience penetrative ones and they can feel so different.

I think this could be a similar thing. for me there wasn't a huge amount of volume and like it felt good but it definitely didn't feel comparable to an orgasm but that could just be my body like your body could be really different and it could feel like the best thing that's ever happened to you yeah I mean I feel like it's been held up at the moment as like the holy grail of sex it used to be let's get an orgasm and now it's like you've only had a good sex if you've squirted yeah well so I think it's like it's like a toxic mask thing where they're kind of like yeah I made a squirt like you know got it a squirt I'm Like, dude, it doesn't feel as good as an orgasm for me,

so don't make that the goal. I reckon your guy didn't even do it. He just quickly, like, put a cup of water there and he's like, look what I've done. I've made you squirt. And you're like, oh, my God, is that what it is? He's like, yeah, tell everyone. Tell your friends.

Tell the podcast. Talk about it on my podcast. Tell your mum. Tell your dad. Tag me. Tag me. Well, anyway, guys, that is literally it from us. Keisha, thanks for sharing that.

Sorry for putting you on the spot. Hope you enjoyed. Props to the guy who did it because I'm sure he wanted that pat on the back as well. In inverted commas. Okay, Keisha just said he's a fuckwit. Guys, that's it. Keep your questions coming in to Instagram,

Life Uncut Podcast with your Ask Uncuts. Also keep your confessionals coming in, your Accidentally Unfiltered, all the good stuff that you think we want to know about. We love receiving them. And don't forget, tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your cousin, tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends to share the love because we love love. We'll be right back.