Life Uncut - ASK UNCUT SWITCHEROO - Answering your deep dark and burning questions

Episode Date: May 17, 2021

Lifers we are mixing things up this week and keeping it fruity bringing you our Thursday's Ask Uncut on a Tuesday.This week we are answering your deep dark and burning questions with a sex twist.... like the girl who found out her bestie had a threesome with her brother and his partner.... WILD.Some other questions we answer on todays ep includes :Help, I slept with my best friend when I was blind drunk and now I don't know wtf to do?!Help, my husband wants to name our unborn baby John - it's a family name, but I'm not into it. Can I say to hell with tradition?If you have a question for ASK UNCUT - slide on into our DM's @LIFEUNCUTPODCASTJoin the discussion on facebook in the Life Uncut Discussion Group, and don't forget if you love the pod - subscribe, hit 5 stars and share the love.... because, WE LOVE LOVE!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut and I'm Laura and I'm Brittany. Hi Brittany. Hi Laura. Look, you know what, you've probably noticed by the title of this episode, Things kind of screwed me sideways this week and we have swapped things up. We are doing a little switcheroo. This is our Ask Uncut on a Tuesday. Just to keep you guessing, here we are.

We've said this before, guys. We only do this when all hell breaks loose. And this week, Laura was under the weather. Well, I wasn't under the weather, but my kids are trying to kill me. Like, I think... I don't think they're trying to kill you. No, I'm sure they are. I'm pretty sure when you have two under two,

the only reason why you do that is because they're trying to kill you. That's it. That's where we're at. So look, parenting definitely got the better of me this week. It certainly got the better of me today. I may cry on this podcast. That's okay. We're all family here.

But you know what it's like on our Thursday episode, which is today, and that is that we answer all of your deep, dark, and burning questions, and we do our best to give you our enthusiastic, very heartfelt, extremely unqualified, yet filled with life experience advice. But before we do that, we're going to nut a few things out. We've got some housekeeping to do, guys. also we went to a meetup yesterday oh yeah we did it was so fun so you guys most of you might know some of you may not the life one cup podcast has a facebook group and in that they have a

meetup group so we have a discussion group that you can join and all kinds of fancy stuff goes on there but inside of that it's like a secret club there are all these little meetup groups going on over in different cities around australia actually i think there's even some in the uk it's pretty mental. But essentially you can join these groups and meet up and people have been meeting up for ages. So we decided to crash run in Bondi Sunday evening. And we actually had the best time. I literally had to be dragged out of there to go to work. That was it. Otherwise I would have stayed and partied all night. I was getting loose. If you were watching my stories, I was spilling drinks all over the place. We don't organize these meetups. So if you guys have seen them before,

or if you've contemplated going to one, they're kind of like book club, but they're a little bit more litty and a little bit more fun this one was organized it was in Coogee and there hasn't been an eastern suburbs one yet and we decided we should show up to the first eastern suburbs one and we surprised everyone and we were very happy that there was more than two people there which there was when we arrived but it was honestly it was honestly so much fun and the best part about it was most of the people there they either came with a friend so the two of them or half of them came alone it was just people that want to meet new people want to meet like-minded people want to go and have some fun people that are new to the city new to Bondi and I just think it makes

my heart so warm to know that there are so many people making friends around Australia because of this podcast well I think also the big thing as well guys if you've contemplated going to one of these meetups or you want more information on them obviously jump onto the life uncut podcast group and then from there you can find the different meetups and stuff and so there's quite a few meetup pages that are happening but it is so hard to make friends as an adult and it's so hard to kind of put yourself out there and think oh I don't want to go to this thing with nobody and then what if no one talks to me the great thing about it is like everybody there has a very similar core values has very similar core interests because y'all listen to this

podcast and you're all fucking crazy just like us okay so do you want to know what was actually pretty funny we started sort of it was almost like a little live ask uncut we just started throwing questions around and we're putting our two cents in and there was one girl there that was like how do you know or how do you do it when you want to ask the guy you're seeing to be your boyfriend she's like do you actually have to have that conversation these days or is it assumed or how do you go about that and I have this flashback of what I did and I was like when I was seeing Jordan we were seeing each other every day for a little while like from memory maybe like four to six weeks but very intense like every day every night he'd go play

chance he would come back that was it yeah like normally we would tell you to take things slow you know ease your way into a relationship don't get too overly invested too early and Brittany was like hell of a leather I was like I've waited 10 years bitch this is happening you just try and get away from me she actually still has him cable tied to the bed shut up Jordan yes Jordan's overseas on tour it's so weird that he's like not posting and there's like one post on Instagram them every two weeks and it's all in Brittany's tone it's from me no but it made me laugh so what happened with us is we got to this weird place where I know that it was on the cards because like he was putting little feelers out but he didn't want to say it I could tell so I remember

getting a text from him and he said he was talking about a conversation he was having with his mum he's quite close with his family and he's like so he's texting me this he's like so funny like speaking to mum today and she said you know she was asking how you were and stuff and I was like oh that's really nice like tell her I said hello and he's like yeah and then he sent me a screenshot of his conversation to his mum and the conversation of the screenshot that he sent was his mum saying how's things with Brittany he was like yeah really good like obviously I'm you know been seeing her a lot and blah blah and she said are you exclusive and he said I don't know and then he sent me the screenshot and that was it didn't say anything and a good conversation starter but

that was obviously my place to be like I mean like start the conversation were you like hey Jordan please let your mum know that it's a bit of a gray area for me at the moment anyway so I ignored it because I was like okay he obviously wants to be together otherwise he wouldn't have sent me that I want to do something cute so I didn't write back I ignored it I cute that's I love that for me if anyone that knows me well and I've said it a few times but technology is not my forte I'm not good on the old computer it's not my I've learned a lot on the business side but Canva doing anything fancy don't even know how to do all these like I don't know how to draw or do anything on there I was like I'm gonna do something really cute so in my head I was like this will take me an hour

or two and then I'll send it back to him so he doesn't have to wait it took me like 30 hours what I did was I made a flow chart wait you made a flow chart in Canva oh I don't remember like google draw or something is there like a google i don't know i can't remember what i did it in look technology's not my forte let's just say that to put it lightly brinny is good at a lot of things like pretty much everything she sets her mind to except computers in my defense i've learned a lot but this is not my thing anyway i knew jordan obviously was putting his feelers out there i wanted to say that you know like yes let's be exclusive because i wanted to be exclusive so i wanted to do it in a cute memorable way because i deep down i was like this could be

my penguin and if it is i want a cute story i don't want to be like yeah let's date i was like I'm gonna make the story I'm gonna make it cute I didn't even tell you this Laura I was probably embarrassed by it I'm gonna show it to you but in my mind I was like I'm gonna make him something to confirm that we're together and then I'll send it to him so I ignored his text anyway I could see that he was a bit antsy because he kept trying to like bring it back to the conversation I just ignored it because I was like cute I'm gonna send this and surprise him anyway well I thought it would take an hour it took like 36 hours that's really let him sweat it out and to the point that literally just as I was finishing it he wrote back to me and he said hey you've ignored my

message from a few days ago just as I was finishing it anyway I made Jordan a flow chart like you're in school I made him like a proper wait as in like a please answer yes or no like do you find me attractive yes should we have kids yes do you want to have sex with me forever yes are we boyfriend and girlfriend yeah but there were so many questions it was a really big flow chart it was huge and I had questions and you had to press yes and no and like some of them were really cute and funny and like obviously a joke then some of them were more serious like are you on the same path like are you a dog person yes if we buy a dog you have to agree that I'm the person that names it and picks the breed yeah like and keeps it if you break up yeah so there

were things like that they were joking but it was so great and then at the end of it it was like yes we're together and no we're not and he got to the end and I sent it to him and I was like beside myself I was so chuffed but I was also like fuck what if I misread this and he doesn't morning I was like it was still only like six weeks he could think I'm batshit crazy like who does it will you be my boyfriend flowchart he's like I wanted to date you but now that you've really shown you're crazy I'm just gonna take no I think he would have gone that and been like that's adorable okay very very adorable about five hours later I got it back with a mini answer down the back and he'd like circled it and done a flowchart back and it was so cute and that's

how we became boyfriend and girlfriend it was like we were like do you know how you send it in year six and you're like will you be my boyfriend yes no maybe think about it get back to me tomorrow and you had to like circle it and send it back were you not sitting there just waiting and in fear that maybe it wasn't gonna be a yes or were you so confident that yes it was like yeah we're dating this is it it's happening flow chart me out bitch I knew how we were but I always do this thing where I don't overthink something and then I regret it later I press send on something because I'm like I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks and I press send I'm like he thinks you're crazy but also I think this is a really interesting conversation this comes up

quite a bit I don't think you should just assume that you're dating I think there has to be some conversation there because like we know that situationships can go for a very long time yeah you were in one for a couple years so was I three years I was in a situation I used to remember I mean like look we were dating and this is going back he didn't know that but you were no it was the opposite this is going back like to the day when I was a bit of an arsehole and like we were in a situationship we'd been dating for quite a while and I just thought it was casual and I was like you know what even though I spent every day at his house I was doing the guy thing I was like you know I've met all his friends I met his mom but I was like

you know but we're not committed like it's fine we're still keeping this casual anyway because we'd never had a conversation about it and then I remember this one day we were out and we ran into some people that he knew and he was like oh this is my girlfriend Laura and I was like unsubscribe you're like excuse me just because we own a house together and have three children doesn't mean that we are getting married okay why are you so obsessed with me well the funniest thing was I was telling this story at the meetup and this girl leans over and she's like do you know when my ex asked me and I was like when she's like I was literally in the middle of giving him a blowjob his penis was in my mouth and he said babe want to be my girlfriend and she's I was like

you must have been doing a fierce job girl you were on fire anyway she looked up and she's like babe like I'm still in the middle of something and he's like oh sorry you know she's like okay cool yeah like let's do it I love you too I love you boo I was like you need to teach me your ways anyway guys on that let's get into the questions for today's episode so I'm gonna hit you with question number one I got really drunk on the weekend guys and something happened were you at the meetup I don't think she was but she should have been there because then maybe this wouldn't have happened okay I got really drunk on the weekend guys and something happened I ended up sleeping with my best mate who is a guy and now we haven't spoken since and I'm really really

concerned about what to do I don't have feelings for him like that I don't know if he has feelings for me and I haven't contacted him since help hmm I mean we've all fucked you're not the first person there are two people in this room that are guilty of that I will not name names um look this is a i think this is not tricky at all this gets tricky if you have feelings for him but you said that you don't you don't think he does so i don't think this has to be an issue i think this can be a non-event if it hasn't been brought up by either of you i just cruise along i don't think it has to be anything people hook up all the time if it's awkward when you see him then yeah you're gonna say something you'd be like hey look that was fun but maybe let's just like forget it and

move on or not even say that be like whoa that was crazy wasn't it and make a joke of it i think the issue here is that she doesn't know whether or not he has feelings like she has no idea so like obviously they've gone out they've had way too much to drink and I okay I'm gonna say something first which I was very guilty of my 20s but you know what mama Laura here with the advice that is if you do really stupid shit when you're drunk consider not getting so drunk and I know that that is not helpful in retrospect oh I was my motto is if you do stupid shit when you're drunk it doesn't count no because I think we can create a lot of allowances for ourselves and be like, oh, I was drunk. I didn't mean it. And the reality is, is like that behavior, you then have

to deal with the guilt that you have. You then have to deal with the bad decision-making. And I know it can all seem fun and fine and stuff in the moment. And then you're like, oh, I shouldn't have done that. But we do have a huge drinking culture in Australia. We have a binge drinking culture and we do glorify it. I'm just going to put it out there. If you think that you have issues with doing really stupid shit, when you drink too much, consider drinking less. And I know that for myself I went through that in my 20s and I have never been happier than what I am now when I don't drink as much as I used to okay so Laura's on a drinking bandwagon Laura the question was no no I know and I'm gonna say this is not me to lecture you about drinking but I just think

like it's a big part of this and like had you not been drunk you wouldn't have slept with him it lowers our inhibitions it makes us think that we want things that we don't actually want it makes us do really stupid stuff and then we can blame it on that and kind of get away with it but the reality is is like drinking doesn't make you fuck your friend you fucked your friend that's the thing well it loosens your inhibitions for sure we all know that and that can be a good thing sometimes it gives you a little bit of confidence maybe you can go and speak to that person that you're never going to speak to but yeah what Laura's saying is right great things can happen bad things can happen but only you know how you act when you're drinking but that is not what

we're talking about the other part of this which I think is important to touch on is like you do need to have a conversation and I would think if I and when I have been in this position before clear the air but also then put some boundaries in place like you know hey that happened probably shouldn't have happened I love our friendship and I don't want anything more than that because I do think that if things go unspoken then maybe if he does have feelings for you there could be a bit of hope that maybe it's going to lead into something or the next time you guys are together and you've had a few drinks maybe he thinks that he can try it on again just make those boundaries super clear and then maybe you will still be able to have a good friendship out of it we always say

this communication is the key for anything like the reason people have fights the reason people have issues in relationships or friendships is because people aren't communicating but also what i want to add here is if there's any confusion usually if anyone likes you chances are they don't and i'm not saying this is 100 of the time but if you're unsure of someone's feelings usually it's because they're not interested we as humans like to make it known how we feel and if we have feelings for someone men particularly unless he's very very introverted or shy men if they want to speak to you or see you or hear from you or sleep with you you will usually know you'll get the communication even if he hasn't written to you saying that was fun let's

do it again you would have been able to pick up a vibe I think if you feel super uncomfortable about this and you know you don't want anything else 100% what Laura said just have that quick conversation it could be in person it could be in a text it doesn't matter but still try not to make it a big deal if it's really not an issue to you and he hasn't said anything and you can see each other and be fine I would not even have a serious conversation I'd just make a little lull about it be like let's not do that again and move on I think the bigger deal you make it the bigger deal it'll turn into yeah I mean I agree I do agree I guess it just is if it is something that is a big deal to you like there is no harm in having those open conversations and I guess at the end of the

day like only you know whether or not you can move on from something you know there could be that this is the thing that breaks the relationship it could be that you're like okay well you know what maybe there is something there or maybe there's something there for him or maybe the relationship is different to what I expected that it was because realistically we don't very often have sex with our friends unless there's something in the atmosphere and then how did it end up I was fine but that's because neither of us had any feelings we'd like we had feelings for each other as a friendship we're attracted to each other but neither of us wanted anything and so we just we would literally see each other the next time and it would be like nothing happened

but did you do this on multiple occasions or just one time only it was one night affair it was a few it wasn't a like it wasn't a guarantee we would see each other 10 to 15 times as friends and nothing and then occasionally we would just hook up and it wasn't a spoken thing it would just happen and then we wouldn't speak about it again it was strange but it worked because we're both on the same wavelength was this someone who you'd been friends with for a long time though this is this girl's best friend I had been friends with this person for yeah a decent amount of time before we hooked up we would yeah sometimes we would see each other for ages and nothing would happen because we were just friends then randomly would just hook up that was okay because it's just what

worked for us we both knew neither of us wanted anything back to you I think if you're that anxious about it the only thing that's going to make you feel better is to have the conversation send a text even if it's just like hey the other night was fun but we probably shouldn't do that again, if you're not interested, that's all we need. A one line, a throwaway so that you're on even turf. Even turf is not even a saying. That's not a thing, but we can go with that. But I agree with what Britt said. Like, I think that the one part here is Britt, you saying, yeah, and then we hooked up and then we, it was fine. And then we hooked up again. I think for this person who's written in, if you do not want to hook up again, if you're like, this is causing me anxiety,

I don't want this relationship. I don't want him to have the wrong impression. Tell him that. Set some boundaries. You can do it in a friendly way. It doesn't have to be like, this is me setting boundaries buddy you can just be like hey I don't think that should have happened I really love our friendship and let's just not do that again and let's pretend like it never happened if you can question number two amen question number two I just found out my best friend of 15 years had a threesome with my brother and his girlfriend what are the friends in this episode we were all out together and staying at my brother's she went home earlier she wasn't feeling it i came home later and slept in bed with her i came to find out three weeks later

from a slip of the tongue from my brother that they had all had a threesome turns out she was feeling it but wait there's more my best friend is married with kids do i confront her that she's married with children slept with my brother and his girlfriend in my house or do i just pretend like I never found out mate ignorance is bliss oh my god okay I was gonna say when this question first started I was like let your girlfriend live her best goddamn life it makes it a whole lot more complicated when she's married and has children I mean obviously there's probably the potential that you're friends with her husband you probably know the kids really well there's a whole other dynamic here that I think makes it a lot more difficult and puts a lot of pressure on

this friendship and this relationship I'm gonna go back to the whole communication is key thing I think because there is more things at play here if she was single and she just had sex with your brother whatever let a girl live but because you are in a tricky situation now where you know a husband and you know her family dynamics I think you can have a conversation with her about it and say you've put me in such a difficult situation by doing this like you know I wish I didn't know obviously you didn't tell me but like this isn't something that's really surprising to me and like is this a one-off is this something that you are going to do does your husband know it maybe try and get some insight into what is happening in this behavior oh it's a messy one isn't it it's

like i think that ultimately you're going to want to say something oh you wish you could unknow it but you can't you do know it it's going to bubble inside bubble under the surface but i think that it's your best friend i don't think go in and attack her i think you can just go and say let her tell the story say hey I know what happened with you know you're my brother do you want to talk to me about that like why did you do that you don't know what's going on in her personal life you don't know if she needs to just like need a friend but let her talk to you about it really calmly and hopefully you guys can actually have a discussion and get to the bottom of it and then say look I don't know really what to do here like are you going to tell your partner do you have

this deep regret that you wish it never happened you're going to move on because I don't think it's up to you to go and tell the partner I think you need to have a conversation with her before you do that because you don't know what's going on and it's going to cause havoc on a whole family so step one yeah I would probably just have a chat to her and I'd be like look like I know I know what happened you want to talk about it just see where it goes from there and especially knowing that it is your best friend like I think that's the biggest part of this and the fact that you probably have such a close relationship to her you probably know so much about each other but there's obviously some things that she's keeping whether it be in her relationship or just in her sex life in general

and like Britt said maybe they have an open relationship maybe there is more going on here that you don't fully know or appreciate or she hasn't told you she doesn't have to tell you you know even though you are her closest friend we don't need to know every single thing that's happening in our friends lives we're allowed to have some secrets and some privacy but if it's affecting your life and if it's affecting your ability and your moral compass and all of those other things then I think having a really honest and raw conversation around it and trying to understand things better from her perspective about how she feels about what's happened yeah that's awkward for everybody and then maybe husking not to sleep with your brother again

and his girlfriend but also have you had the conversation with your brother around like what happened like where did this come from I think that there's you know they had too much alcohol again I bet you guys bad decision making okay next question I'm actually really interested in your thoughts on this Laura my partner and I have just found out we are expecting our first baby we don't actually know what we are having just yet he has a family tradition that every son in the family is called John but I don't really want to call my son John nothing against the name guys it's just not my style I have so many fun cool name ideas already that I'm so excited to choose. But my question is, is it out of line for me to not want to follow his family

tradition of calling our kid John? It means a lot to my partner and I don't want to be an awful person and ruin the tradition. But I also feel like I have a say since I'm pushing it out of my vagina. Thanks girls. I have a lot of feels about this. Okay. My number one is middle name that shit. Just stick it in there as the middle name. You guys have to agree on a first name. if you don't want John and you're giving birth you don't have to buy into every single family tradition that your partner has because then you get what you want gets sidelined so why not come to some sort of agreement that it's a middle name secondly let's hope it's a girl thirdly actually in my sister so my sister's married and her partner in their family Brock

is like the family name it's this family name that's been passed down generation to generation and my brother-in-law's grandma her name is brock yeah right because they were so hell-bent on naming someone from that generation brock which you know what each to your own but sometimes traditions aren't necessarily the best outcome well you know my family tradition britney's middle name is mayo everyone so my little name is a family name one child in every generation has to have it and it's mayo as in yes the condiment my middle name is mayo it's grown on me I'll be honest but I was a bit you know I didn't know how I felt in the early days and now I have to call one of my children mayo which you know I have notified Jordan and he's you know he's he's

gonna roll with it but he's not overly impressed but I think for a first name I get the tradition thing and I get keeping a name in the family but you absolutely have a right to call your child whatever you want to call it I do think you need to come to a compromise like it needs to be something that you both agree on it has to be like you need to get to a name that you both agree on but there is absolutely no reason you can't just use John as a middle name yeah and I think not to subscribe to the whole patriarchy thing but the thing that is a bit frustrating in this which is a reason that I think you can kind of debate the cause is like he gets a name you're probably gonna take his last name when you're married you probably already have his last name stop being

greedy bro yeah and I think that this is something that happens a lot like even when I had Marley Matt and I didn't entirely agree on names but Marley got Johnson and at the time obviously we're not married so my last name's still Byrne and I was like but you get the name you get the Johnson and I don't get anything if I don't get the first name so that's me making a sacrifice otherwise she can be Marley Byrne like how do you feel about that and he was like okay no no no no so I do think that there is already a huge tradition in the fact that majority of people take their father's last name so I don't think that you necessarily have to subscribe to family tradition, which is that they should have the first name as well. So yeah, I do genuinely think

that a middle name is probably the safest bet, but that's not to say that you're not going to hit some sort of like frustrating family conversations where you've gone against the grain because everyone's done what they're supposed to do this whole time. And kind of having kids is like the same as getting married or everyone is always going to have an opinion about how or what you should do. And I think if it's something that you feel really strongly about and you care about deeply have those conversations with your husband communicate with him how you feel about it and then see what he says in response to that I think the important thing here is just to do it in a really respectful way don't say you're crazy we're not doing that get

a life keep dreaming it's more like look I just don't resonate with the name I don't love it I don't have a connection to it I would really like to look at putting that as his middle name and calling him this for this reason and then like Laura just said if you need to continue the fire to slash argument you just present to him that he gets the last name and that's it playing devil's advocate here though one thing I think like maybe to consider is if you don't actually have an affinity to any names it's only because like you're like oh they sound pretty or I like this then maybe having a deeper understanding about why there is this connection to the name maybe it was someone within the family or there's some sort of lineage that's really important

not just that it's like oh the first son is all called john john jr john john john john but there might be a reason why in that family it's something that's really important so for an example in our family may which is a middle name is a name that's really important and i think that maybe it's something to consider if there is a reason or there is a purpose behind the name and it has some really sentimental and heartfelt meanings for your husband and on the other end of the scale you're like do you know what it's only because i don't like the name or i like something a little bit better then maybe consider that in your conversations definitely I just want to add we're finished but we're not really finished definitely consider it but also I'm still

going to stick to the thing where I'm still going to stick to my point of and your point to the listener if you don't like it if you don't like a name I think that's reason enough rules are meant to be broken baby you have to look at that child and call that child its name for probably the next 50, 60 years. That is a long time to be saying, hey, John, if you don't like the name John. I always think it's so weird. You know how you see some names and you think, who looked at a baby, a beautiful little baby and went, I'm going to call this baby Kevin

or Agatha or something. Or just like really old school names. No, I think it's a generation name. So I think it's like I always think it's funny when you hear it. A beautiful little baby boy and you're like, I'm going to call him Neville. But it's generational. So at the time, you're like, amazing. that's a beautiful name because everyone was called names like that i just think it's now

in our generation that if there were old school names it's all i mean they're making a comeback old school names are making a comeback but don't get me wrong like i like these names on grown adults but it's like little baby greg yeah you know it's just the it's like you need a name that kind of transitions throughout the whole baby birther anyway guys that is us this is our short sharp quick down and dirty episode i mean it was a little bit dirty with the threesome and thrown in there for a bit of spicy yeah and there was a blowjob where the boy said we'd be my girlfriend right when she was going down there romance that's what we're all about and modern day we will have our big meaty episode for you on thursday so yeah sorry that we had to do the

switcheroo on you this week but we'll be back better than ever and keep those questions coming in guys to the life uncut podcast instagram just put a heading at the top of the dm that says ask uncut keep your accidentally unfiltered coming in keep you can't believe they said that keep everything rolling in just make sure you put the heading at the top if you aren't a part of the discussion group or the meetup groups and you're getting a little bit of FOMO from the fact that all these people are having fun and meeting up it's free it's easy it's a huge very supportive inclusive group men and women so jump on board and if you love the episode tell your mom tell dad dog dog to your friends and share the love because we love love