Life Uncut - ASK UNCUT - The one with the side eye

Episode Date: January 25, 2022

Happy Ask Uncut day Lifers,We need to talk about Grace Tame's side eye!Jumping into your questions for today:1. If my boyfriend and I live together with his friends, and we break up - who is responsible for paying?2. My friends house stinks like bird piss. Can I tell her?3. How do you say those three little words?If you've loved the ask uncut advice this year, we'd really appreciate a sneaky review if you haven't already left one. It really helps us!Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because we love love!! x xSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut, I'm Brittany and I'm Laura and this is our Thursday episode which is our down and dirty little episode where we answer all of your deep, dark and burning questions. And we have had a lot of DM slide-ins this week with the questions. We do have a couple of killer questions, but you know what guys, before we do get into answering your questions, if you have one for next week, you can slide into the DMs at Life Uncut Podcast, but there's something that we really want to share with you all. And we are, I don't even know how to bring this conversation up or say it because it's genuinely the most devastating news. And it's something that we found out last Friday and we

weren't really sure how to share it with you guys we weren't really sure if we just had the conversation on social media or whether we brought it to the podcast and talked about it here and we have been speaking about it over the last couple of days but we really wanted to for anybody who's not part of the social media community for anyone who's not part of Facebook to be able to also honor that conversation on the podcast as well and that is we found out last Friday that Chanel Bryant who is an incredible woman somebody who we interviewed last December Chanel had triple negative breast cancer and she'd been diagnosed with terminal cancer and we spoke to her about her journey we spoke to her about the importance of checking your breasts and she was so incredible

she has been a huge member of the Life Uncut community she's been an active member in the Facebook group so many of you know who she is and have been as invested in her story as what we have been and we received the news that she passed away last Friday in her sleep surrounded by her family and we just wanted to be able to share that with you all because we know just like I said how much she touched every single one of you as well we did speak to Chanel the interview that we did do with her for anyone that hasn't listened to it yet but that would really like to it was such a beautiful powerful episode but that was on the 14th of December and when we did speak to Chanel then she did say to us that if she could make it to Christmas which obviously was only I guess two

weeks away at that point that she would just be beyond happy that's all she wanted to do was was make it to Christmas. She did make it past Christmas. And then her next goal was to make it to her daughter Vogue's birthday, which she did. So Chanel made it until the 21st of January. And that is when she passed away. I guess if there's one thing we can take, it's that she got to make some last really beautiful memories with her family. So we just want to send all of our love to Chanel's family, to her friends, to her children, to the community, to everybody that Chanel touch because she was just such a ray of light just as a reminder because it was Chanel's message it was what she was literally fighting for was to make everyone a little bit more aware

of their body and their breasts so if you are listening right now grab your boobs and check them out honestly and this is because you know Chanel was only 37 years old she has two children and she's left behind an incredible legacy however I think the big message here is that when you're young you just don't think that these things could ever possibly happen to you I wanted to leave this conversation with one thing that chanel said we had a really beautiful conversation around what happiness meant to her and she said happiness is loving and being loved lean in not away allow yourself to feel it let it all wash over you breathe and surrender to it your experience of life in that moment will be more uncut more pure and real than you've ever imagined possible

oh honestly our absolute hearts go out to luke and to smith and to vogue and to every single one of you who have been touched by chanel's story now there is another woman that we want to talk about on the beginning of today's episode before we get into answering your questions and that is somebody else who is equally as powerful and fierce grace tame oh we need to talk about grace tame and what went down with her and scotty morrison at the handover awards of australian of the year so grace if you don't know grace was australian of the year last year she did go to the ceremony on tuesday night and that is the handover award for australian of the year now grace is a fierce advocate for sexual assault she's a survivor of sexual assault please please go and do your

research on grace if you haven't come across her yet if you haven't come across her everyone i would be gobsmacked because this woman has just moved mountains and she has just made such noise in the year that she i mean she really took the opportunity of australian of the year to do good and she did make noise and she did raise her voice and she put a lot of things into motion and a lot of changes to be made. She has been so vocal in advocating for victims of sexual assault and sexual abuse and this year and last year has come at a time when Brittany Higgins and there's been the whole conversation around parliamentary and their big swinging dicks and the insidious misogyny that has lived within our parliament and within government in Australia. But the reason

there's so much talk on this if you guys are wondering why we're even talking about it is because the photos going around right now from her meeting with Scott Morrison out the front in Canberra it's actually quite funny to look at. So Grace isn't a fan of Scott Morrison that has been noted throughout the year and that's for good reasons you know she doesn't agree with a lot of things that he has said and done and when you look into that a little bit more it's warranted let's put it that way and we will get into that in another episode because it's there's so much to talk about in this but the reason these photos and videos are going viral if you haven't seen them is because of the way grace greeted scott morrison now there's one photo in particular

where she is standing next to him it is very cold you can feel the ice and she's giving him it looks like that cartoon dog you know the side eye dog she's giving him the most brutal side eye you've ever seen and it has gone viral this photo this video is all anyone's talking about and it's taken over the world and i'm to be honest i'm here for it i feel like everybody needs to enter 2022 with the absolute fierce energy that Grace Tame entered meeting Scott Morrison. But this has come to the attention of media. It's also come to the attention of the Facebook group and it has been incredibly divisive. I think it's interesting. I saw some comments floating around in the Facebook group yesterday. The majority of people are in full support that Grace Tame shouldn't feel like she

needs to be friendly to Scott Morrison just because he's the prime minister, especially when there's so many things that he's done during his term as prime minister that go against what she has been advocating for. Now, on the flip side to that, there has been people who think that the actions of her were petty or petulant or childish. And we really wanted to unpack where these thoughts come from and why is it that women are expected to behave in a certain way? One of those people that are on the bandwagon of Grace acting immaturely, and I say immaturely because that is a quote from the article, is journalist Peter Van Onselen, who writes for the Australian he also co-hosts sometimes on the project which he did last night. Now the headline

for the Australian that Peter wrote says Grace Tame if your disdain for the PM is so great why go and the opening paragraph says the footage of Grace Tame meeting the Prime Minister at his residence in the nation's capital for a reception today was embarrassing for her that is. She was ungracious rude and childish refusing to smile for the cameras barely acknowledging his existence when standing next to him. The footage tells the story free of overstatement. He has literally called her rude and childish for refusing to smile. That is it. Now, if you watch this, Grace shakes his hand. He says hello to her. She says hello back. There is nothing that was childish about this behavior. The problem that he has, this whole article that he has written

is saying that she should show some respect for Scott Morrison and she should have sat there and smiled which essentially is a photo opportunity the only problem is she didn't pretend to like somebody and enjoy a moment when she didn't actually like someone and enjoy the moment and that is what she's being criticized for I think it's pretty crazy that we've been conditioned in a lot of ways to think that women need to behave in a certain way and I know that there's going to be people who listen to this who are like oh god here we go we are expected as women to be nice and to be polite and to be friendly and we are constantly told hey why don't you just smile in this instance there has been so much that's happened in the past two years especially in the

last year with britney higgins and directly that's been directly correlative to sexual assault and sexual violence against women and this is what grace's entire campaign as australian of the year has stood for it would have been disingenuous of her to stand there and smile alongside scott morrison and pretend like she was enjoying the moment that would have gone against everything that she stood for on her own social media, in the conversations that she's had with her own community. And so I feel like it should actually be commended and has been by a lot of the female led media. It should be commended that she has been absolutely authentic and stood behind and alongside what her feelings are towards him and the government he represents. Live on the project,

Carrie Bickmore gave Peter a real dressing down. So Peter wrote the article that we're speaking about. Then he was on the project speaking about it. Now he, he mentioned straight away that Grace acted childish and this was Carrie's response. In the article today, you spoke about how she acted as a child. You know when she should have been able to act as a child? When she was a child, only she was preyed upon by a man and lost parts of her childhood. Peter's response was, well then she shouldn't go. If she's not going to show him any respect and she's going to be rude, she shouldn't go. Which in response starts a whole nother conversation. Why should we be silenced? Why should we be made to not be able to express our real feelings in a situation? She's still

Australian of the year she still deserves to go and she shouldn't have to not go she should be able to go and if she's in an uncomfortable situation she doesn't have to smile I mean I think there's a bigger question here around the fact that like just because somebody's in a position of power does that mean that they're instantly entitled to respect Scott Morrison being hello Donald Trump well no but like Scott Morrison being the prime minister just because he's the prime minister does that mean that somebody needs to respect him as a person if they don't believe in the policies and the way that he's behaved or the things that he's implemented whilst he's been in government. And I think the interesting thing about this as well

is, is if we can like cast your mind back to January, 2020, when the bushfires happened and there was a live stream of Scott Morrison, this is after he took a holiday whilst Australia was on fire. There was a live stream of him going and greeting with the fire brigade who were working and at the frontline of the bushfires. And he reached out to shake the hand of one of the firefighters and one of the firefighters completely refused to shake his hand to the point where scott morrison grappled and he continued to try and shake his hand that's the most awkward thing you've ever seen the most fucking awkward thing you have ever seen no publication and nobody said anything negative about that firefighter nobody turned around and said how petulant or petty of him

to not shake scott morrison's hand and that they should treat scott morrison with respect If anything, everybody was like commending the firefighter for making a very public statement around something that at the time everyone was angry about. Why is the opinion of mainstream media different when it comes to something like sexual assault? The hypocrisy really in parliament of the way that men and women are treated or men and women are treated in the public eye is sickening. It does not take a very deep dive. It takes one Google search for you to have a look at the way that women are treated in

parliament. There is one amazing photo as well, which we're going to put up on our social media for anybody who thinks it was shared in the Facebook group, but for anyone who thinks that maybe the way Grace behaved is petulant and they want to draw a comparison here. You don't have a leg to stand on. There is an incredible photo of Scott Morrison completely turning his back on Tanya Plibersek during her doing a speech. And the absolute lack of respect in this photo is astounding. So I just want to put these up on our Instagram. It's like a slide by slide for anybody who's sitting there going, oh, she shouldn't have done that. And you guys know, Laura and I are not overly political

people. We never speak about politics on this podcast. We never have. And the only reason that we're discussing this today is because it really, really rubbed us the wrong way. We obviously do have a platform and we do support women. And this was something that just didn't sit right with us and seen some of the comments, especially on the project last night from people like Peter Van Onselen, the article that he wrote, it just really, really rubbed us the wrong way. So we did want to talk about it well i mean we don't talk about politics but we talk about misogyny we talk about internalized misogyny which is where a lot of the views are coming from and we talk about sexual assault and advocating for women for anybody who has read the articles the articles

that have been written by men who are telling grace tame how she should or shouldn't behave who are calling it childish or saying that it's undone the amazing work that she has done while she's been australian of the year really undermines who she is as a person and it really undermines what she has been through by telling her how she should or shouldn't behave please if you get a hot second have a google of what went down on the project because it was absolutely an annihilation and it was so great but i do want it was a takedown between carrie bickmore and political reporter amy ramikis who was a guest she she had like zoomed into the project and peter van onselen now it was brilliant to watch i thoroughly enjoyed it it was a bit uncomfortable but i i

can't stress enough how on these women's team that I was and I was like yes like fucking get a girl I was like take him down I do want to just wrap this conversation with this grab from political reporter Amy Ramikis who is also a survivor of sexual assault you attempted to a police a woman who lost all agency as a child where she was groomed and told how to behave and she has since come out and made her entire adulthood about not behaving in the way that other people think that she should that she's going to be true to herself and because of the politics of civility you wrote a column in the national masthead slamming her for that you said she shouldn't have gone she has every right to be there she has every right to show her feelings and if she doesn't want to be

part of a politically staged photo op she doesn't have to smile to make other people feel better and not hurt their feelings. Anyway, team, there is just such a bigger, deeper conversation to be had around this topic. It's not for a Thursday Ask Uncut, but we just felt like we couldn't let this day go past without talking about what happened. Absolutely.

And we have been sitting on a conversation around the way women are portrayed in media and the way that the conversation around women is had when it comes to headlines, when it comes to paparazzi photos. So I feel like the time has almost come. But anyway, let's get in to our Ask Uncut questions. Okay, guys, question number one.

How does it work if you move in with your boyfriend and his friends, but then you break up in the middle of your lease? How do you split the rent if I were to move out? Do all housemates take on a little extra rent so that my boyfriend doesn't have to pay double? Or do I have to keep paying even if I move out? This is such a good question. I wonder if she's wanting to break up with her boyfriend who she currently lives with or she's just forward thinking and they're going to move in together and take on this like you know year

long lease and she's like what the fuck do I do? Well it's almost like a hypothetical because she's like how does it work if you move in with your boyfriend and his friends but then you break up in the middle? She hasn't said she's done it but I think she has or she's about to break up with him. Okay it's not a gray area and it is a gray area. I think it's not a gray area in that if you're the one who wants to break your lease you have to pay for all the breaking the lease stuff right? But if they want to stay in the house so if you say to your boyfriend hey I'm out I don't want to be with you anymore circumstances have changed sayonara sayonara whatever it is see you later see you later lover if you want to be the one to leave and you give him that notice and he chooses

to stay there then that's kind of on him to figure out how to do it however if you tell him that you need to leave and then there's the situation where they're all not able to pay rent then I think that you mostly have to contribute to the breaking of the lease fees like that's like the big one the only thing that I think you do have to do is you have to give them some notice like you can't just be like I'm leaving I don't love you anymore and then stop paying rent no you can say I'm leaving I don't love you but you still have to pay rent for like three weeks I think it's 21 days there is never a time I want to reiterate this there's never a time or a situation where you have to stay in a relationship there is always an out if you don't want it doesn't matter because

she signed a dotted line on a lease for 12 months that doesn't matter do you morally have to do the right thing by your partner yes and unless if it's an amicable breakup unless there's something horrific that has gone down but if you've just decided you've fallen out of love and the relationship's not right which it sounds like is exactly what has happened with this girl then yes this is what I suggest you do I suggest you break up with your partner you say I just don't think it's working anymore I'm not happy here I'm not comfortable I love that you're giving her the breakup tips as well i am not just the rental tips i suggest you say it's not you it's me see him down no so you do the nice thing and always if you can always do it amicably like i just can't

stress that enough if the situation allows for an amicable breakup tell him that you're not happy and you're gonna leave but i would also suggest making sure you've got somewhere to go before you do that just in case shit hits the fan you say look the normal term is 21 days three weeks so I'm going to give you that much notice and I'm going to pay rent until then even if I'm not here you can either move out if you can't afford it you've got plenty of time to find somewhere else if he actually wants to move out meaning that the two of you are breaking the lease the responsibility for the lease payment break is yours you have started that you have instigated that situation so I would think that that is on you the only thing that's like not actually

technically correct in that information is the 21 days only applies if you're outside your lease terms so if you're on a year lease if you signed a year lease with someone contractually you have to pay a year's worth of lease or you pay a fee which is a breaking your lease fee and I'm pretty sure if you're a real estate agent you can come at me if I get this wrong but I've done this with an ex-boyfriend so I feel like it might still be correct you have to pay all the advertising fees until they get the place relisted and they get it refilled which hopefully you live in Sydney it'll be filled in five days and you pay a breaking the lease fee. Then you pay for the advertising costs and it might end up being like two months worth of rent or something, but it's an additional amount

of money. What I can say though, is it's not up to the other housemates to throw in more money to compensate for your leaving. Absolutely. I think it's not up to the housemates to pay for more money, but also you're not responsible for what they decide. If you say I'm leaving, I'm willing to pay for the breaking the lease. I'm willing to pay for the X amount of weeks up front. then it's on them. If the three of them that are left in the house can't afford the rent without you and they all have to move, then you pay the break the lease and they all have to move. Yes, it's fucking annoying. And it's very, they might be really angry at you, whatever. Who cares? You're never going to see him again.

Yeah. It's totally not your responsibility. And especially if your partner wants to stay there, it's not your responsibility to continue to pay for the next year and a half, just because he wants to live in the house with his mates. It's a really unfortunate situation. It is going to affect a lot of people but there are definitely ways to manage and mitigate a breakup and I think especially when you're living with your partner's friends and on top of that what Brit said and I think it's like the most important thing is like never stay in a relationship that you're unhappy with just because you're worried about how you're going to figure out the financials you're going to figure out the way that it's going to work like it's really important to either put some savings

away or to get yourself sorted before you make that decision so that you're not feeling like you're completely destitute or you don't have anywhere to move to or you're trying to pay two rents do you think we covered that I feel like we did get out have you ever lived with an ex and his friends no I've never really lived in a group house when I lived with my ex I just lived with him he and I bought a house together we lived there another ex it was just he and I overseas yeah like I've never actually lived in a group environment I wouldn't like it for me personally I don't want to be in these environments where there's so many people coming and going all the time I like my private place with my partner to be my private place my first boyfriend who I was

with for six years we always lived in like group share houses with him but then I had a very similar situation to this where we had left our group house we'd moved in together and we moved into a one bedroom with a tiny little like separate study I guess it was we just signed the lease when three weeks after we signed the lease he decided he didn't want to be with me anymore So then I was left with the entire house and had to break the lease and everything. And that should not, that goes against everything we just said. That should not be your responsibility. That's what I'm saying.

The responsibility was on me to try and figure it out because I was the one left in the house. He still paid and contributed to it, but not for an entire year. He paid and contributed to it for a short period of time, which gave me enough time to figure out my next move. But you can't expect someone to pay for an entire year if they're not living in the house. Oh, absolutely not. Okay. Let's get into question number two.

Okay. Question number two is a really funny one. we've never had a question like this before hi there i recently went inside a good friend's house after a day out rather than stay for a quick cuppa or a beverage before going home i had to decline and make an excuse because her house smelled as though 20 elephants had been urinating throughout it for a very long time jesus christ i know so we walked in the house stunk she said nothing. The last time I went there, it did not smell at all. It was just pretty normal. The stench was gag worthy. My question is, do I say to my friend, what the fuck? Why does your house reek

of piss? And just be straight up. I don't want to go back inside there ever again. That is how bad it smelled. I just don't understand. So do I say something? I did notice that she had birds in a cage inside. I'm not even sure if they were there the last time I went there, but maybe it's the birds I'm absolutely repulsed can I tell my friend that her house absolutely stings to the point that no one wants to come over or do I just not go back and pretend it didn't happen oh my god it's absolutely the birds it's 100% it's got to be the birds yeah your friend's not just pissing in the corner it's the birds I think you can't tell her now no you had to tell her when you were there you had to when you were there I feel like it's when you walk into the house you're like whoa

you really need to change the paper in the birds cage or whatever I used to have a cat and I like if you didn't clean the kitty litter out frequently enough it would stink my friends would always tell me they'd be like you need to clean that kitty litter and I was like yeah I do I'm fucking lazy and I shouldn't have a cat I think tell her and the reason I say tell her is because your first line of this question was I recently went inside a good friend's house if she's a good friend like Laura if I walked inside your house and it stunk of shit or piss I feel like you have walked inside my house and it stunk of shit before like I've got two kids and they're both in nappies you don't have to be rude but I mean I guess because we're good friends I'd be like whoa what the fuck is

that smell like something died in here I think you can say that then I think you could walk over to the bird cage and be like oh my gosh girl it's the birds you need to change that paper I think you just say that but you don't have to say I'm never coming over to your house again if it smells like this maybe she's like really used to the smell because she lives in it 24 7 and she doesn't actually know that it's that bad that's so bad though imagine if you just lived in the stench of bird urine and you didn't even know well evidently she's that's what she's doing maybe she had covid and she lost her smell and taste maybe she doesn't know how bad it is out with the the numbers that are happening right now it's very fucking possible but also i think on top of

this if you've been to her house before and it doesn't normally smell like that it's not as big a deal i think don't rule out ever going there again maybe she's good yeah like go there again and see and if it is just as bad be like whoa babe something really smells in this house i don't know if you can smell it let's figure out what it is and do it as though you're helping her out but to me it just sounds like she's you know a little bit lazy when it comes to cleaning out the birdcage yeah or maybe walk in and just be like whoa you need to open a window get some fresh air in there or just like send her an anonymous gift of like incense or a diffuser or something just like knock and run at the door maybe the less passive aggressive ones I mean I just think like with

all these sorts of things things that are uncomfortable usually it makes us more uncomfortable than it makes the other person like if you've got shit in your teeth I would rather someone tell me that they've got stuff in my teeth anyone would any strangers anyone would rather be told than to have someone stand there and stare at them and just like not tell them a hundred percent the worst thing you know when you've like been talking to somebody you walk home you walk in look in the mirror and you're like what the fuck I've got something on my face I've got burp in my face I got something in my teeth why how embarrassing you would much rather someone said to you in the middle of a conversation oh you've just got something there and you're like

oh thanks and then you continue the conversation and that's not embarrassing that is not awkward it's more awkward to ignore the fact go home and then you realize sometimes like when people have things in their teeth though I just don't like I notice it and I clock it but I like I don't care about it like I don't care that they have something caught in their teeth so you don't tell them so I forget and then they're like dude you've just been talking to me and I had this in my teeth and I was like yeah I know I just genuinely didn't care sorry like I and I don't mean like I don't care as in like well now I'm never gonna trust you I just mean like it factors so far down on the things that I think is like a worry like I noticed it but like I was like oh it's fine it's just

if I had a whole piece of kale hanging out of my front teeth I would expect you to tell me okay but here's the other question all right and I think that this might be like a good comparison for this question if your friend your good friend had bad BO would you tell them I mean I haven't told you yet usually I'm the one that walks in here and I'm like I have BO every time I walk in here Laura goes where's your deodorant I'm like you know where it is I was like just go and get no but would you tell them like if you came to my house and you had bad BO I think I would tell you yeah I think that's fine chances are I probably know I'm probably like yeah I just remember a run yeah I think it's different if it's a stranger I think there's some things when

it comes to personal hygiene and whatnot like it's not your responsibility to impart that knowledge on someone who you don't have a close connection with or friendship with but if it's a friend I don't think there should be the apprehension to say like oh hey hun you should put on some deodorant I would know I wouldn't say it if it was once off if like if you just came in and you smell that day I'd be like it was really bad it doesn't matter I'd be like she's had a tough day i'll let it i'll let it fly but if it was actually a thing that was affecting your life and your personal hygiene if every time i was around you you stunk and you didn't know i would say something i'd be like you like fyi you probably need to change your deodorant because

you know that's also a thing you know like you get used to a type of deodorant and then all of a sudden you feel like it doesn't work anymore and you've got to change brands or oh you got to go from a roll-on to a spray like it's always the natural ones that get you you think that they're working and they don't you need some aluminium in your skin you need to clog that shit you need to botox your underarm all right let's get into the next question okay question number three this one I feel like Laura you are going to come in hot it's going to be pretty easy to answer girls how do I say I love you I have been with my partner over a year now and we've never said I love you and trust me I do love him I think he whispered it during sex once but with my with my

poor hearing I questioned it and I was like what did you just say but he didn't answer does I love you during sex count I can't even be sure it happened I feel like we've waited so long to say it and now it's just too awkward I'm introverted so I can't just blurt it out oh bless it's fucking hard I remember the first time I ever told someone I love them I was like I love you how old are you how old are you thinking about 20s I remember when uh one of my boyfriends said I love you really it was probably only like five weeks in and I didn't love him I remember was it I remember was like I remember it vividly was standing out the front of my house he was driving back to Sydney did you say it back he said all right well I'll let you know when I get back and

I said okay drive safe and he said I love you and I said thank you it's like you're on the bachelor all over again I was like thank you and then it was like I just wanted to sink into the ground and I was like well safe drive and just like ran inside because I was put on the spot and I didn't feel it but having said that Jordan told me he loved me probably the same amount of time in probably only four or five weeks and I reciprocated it because I was in a different place and I felt it I really feel for you to have been a year deep with your partner that you love and you feel like you can't say it but I can guarantee you if you say it he's gonna say it back like you were together for you you think he's already said it and you love him for me when I'm in love I want to shout

it from the rooftops and I want to tell my partner I want so she wants to shout it on a podcast but I would say it once I'm at that point and I'm saying I love you I would say it 20 times a day and I don't want it to lose meaning but I'd be like hey you're just going for a walk I'll be back soon love you like I would just throw it and at the start it's obviously way more meaningful you have your moment and I think for you you're a year deep maybe next time after you have sex if you don't want to blurt it out which is what you've said maybe when you're having your moment in bed or you're having a cuddle you could just say something like there's something i wanted to tell you for a long time he's gonna know what it is you can ease into the conversation do you think it should be a

sex thing though i think that makes it even have to be i feel like saying i love you for the first time during sex like it's powerful 100 it's like it's so intimate and intense but for an introvert maybe it's too intense no you don't do it mid-pump no but like you don't go pump up sex love you ah come and love you and whilst you're staring in their eyes but even like the staring in their eyes and the whispering of like I love you no it's the after where you're just in bed hanging out and cuddling and you're having that moment the endorphins are high like the love is high the feelings are high you're close it's intimate I think that's when you say it I think that's when you'll be more comfortable you're not gonna be stuck in the dishwasher and be like hey babe pass

me that plate love you like it's just a better moment 100 it's a better moment do you okay is it weird just like if you're sitting on the couch having a cuddle or something being more like there's something I've been thinking about and I've wanted to say it to you for a long time but I feel like we kind of missed the moment a little bit well see you just said literally word for word what I said but I think the better point to do it is when the endorphins are high and you're cuddling after sex than when you're on the lounge like that's what I think I think that that for me is the moment where you're like you do feel that connection you've just had a really close intimate moment but it's not happening anymore you're chill everyone's relaxed I just

think it's a really nice vibe and for an introvert I feel like that's when it's going to be easier I don't know I mean okay I feel like we've not given you any advice on this we have take my actually also take Brittany's advice because I've not said I love you for the first time for a long time and when I did say it to Matt it was after you said it to me on on The Bachelor on the show I think that sometimes we can get in our heads about saying I love you and we can build it up to be a really frightening thing and I think sometimes step away from what those words are they're very meaningful they're very important but if your feelings are already there if you guys have already made those commitments in all your actions and in all the other ways that you

express that you love each other I think that the more that you put it off and the more that you stress about it the harder it's going to be the first time you say it's going to be the most awkward and the most like exhilarating and then it's gonna get easier and easier and love is a beautiful thing if you feel it say it but it is like love is a beautiful thing it's such it's the love is the best feeling in like the entire world and I can't imagine what it's like for you to have felt that bursting from you for a year okay and not feel like you can express it does she make eye contact at the time I mean you don't have to if you're an introvert and that's hard the other thing you can do is write him a love note if you want but give it to him probably when you're still

there to talk about because he can read it maybe you can put it down on paper he can read it and he'll look up at you and he'll say something like oh my gosh really and then it takes the stress away but there are so many different ways would you ever send it in a text message first no and be like that this is like never break up with someone never tell them I love you would you send a text message first or ever be like hey I've been thinking about this for a while and I found it really hard to say it so I wanted to send it to you I really love you I mean technically the first time Jordan and I had said it to each other was when I had told my really really good friend my best friend I had messaged him and said he was like how's everything going and I messaged

him and I said I love him like I'm in love with him Jordan saw that text and that is what opened our conversation he saw the text that of me saying that I was in love with him and then that opened the conversation but technically he said it first from that i would not advise texting your partner of a year saying you love him for the first time i think you guys are past that i think that it's a beautiful thing and i think you're overthinking it now like laura said you've waited a year the anticipation and something gonna get worse do not wait another year like you need to pull that trigger totally and i think you'll be so surprised like he'll say it back and you'll have a beautiful moment and then you say it all the time and then you'll have sex again if you had just had sex or

Maybe you have it again for the first time. Who fucking knows? But it's going to be great. I do empathize with this though, because I do know and understand how nerve wracking it is the first time you say it. But I think it's nerve wracking because you're scared that they're not going to say it back. That's where the nerves come from. The nerves come from in the early days when you're like, what if they're not there yet?

But God, you know, he's there. Like he is there for you. So you've got nothing to worry about. Pull the trigger, baby. Pull the trigger. And also tell us how that all went as well. Tell us if you did it at the end of sex or if you did it on the lounge. We want to know who's worked better.

Anyway, guys, that is it from us and Ask Uncut, and we'll be back next week with a – actually, that's a lie. We'll be back on Saturday with our radio show. I forgot we do that. No, we come to you three times a week now. It's never-ending. We're always here in your ears giving you the content. Keep sliding into the DMs with your Ask Uncuts.

We absolutely love them. We also want your accidentally unfiltered stories because you know we froth those so much. Or also send us your confessionals too. Your confessionals or anything funny. Also, if there's anyone in particular that you want us to speak to, we love those recommendations as well so all on life uncut podcast on the instagram if you haven't joined the facebook discussion group yet please jump on that too it is life uncut podcast on

facebook tell your mom tell your dad tell your dog tell your friends and share the love because we love love We'll be right back.