Life Uncut - ASK UNCUT - Tight ass friends and intimate massages

Episode Date: January 31, 2024

Hey Lifers!Laura is on struggle street. It's certainly not her year for health...We have our brand new life uncut team member jumping in today and he's got quite the 'vibe' for us all.Vibes for the week:Jono: group dates Britt: Jackbox Laura: Mother Life plant light Then we jump into 5 questions today! An ex who is still a part of my friendship group unfollowed me on instagram. He is now back with his previous girlfriend. Should I text him and ask why or cut him off? Can you ask out your chiropractor? We are both single and I think the interest is mutual but I don't know if it's crossing a professional line. My friend profited off a piece of furniture that I gave them mates rates on. I'm feeling pretty resentful that she took advantage of my generosity. Do I have the right to ask for the money that she made or is she allowed to do that? I've unintentionally become pregnant to a guy who I just want hangs and bangs from. I do not see a future. I've firmly decided to terminate the pregnancy but I don't know whether I should tell him or not. Does he have the right to know? What are your thoughts on your partner getting massages? I was having this conversation with my fiance and he said he’d “prefer it to be a girl” as opposed to a male massage therapist as "the nature of massages are quite intimate." Is this okay? If you have an question please send it on it to life uncut podcast on Instagram hereJoin us on tiktok Or join the facebook group here Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xx    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands were never ceded. We pay our respects to their elders past and present. Always was, always will be Aboriginal land. This episode was recorded on Darug Wollamutta land. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany and it is Therapy Thursday, the episode where you're sending your deepest, darkest, burning questions and we do our best to answer them. I woke up in the depths of hell this morning, Britt.

Oh, we're getting straight into that. What happened? I feel like it's one of those things where you start with the low, you acknowledge what's happening in the room and then you just work your way back up. Hopefully by then the urals kicked in and everyone's feeling better. I woke up this morning and I was like, oh, I feel a bit unwell. And then I went to the bathroom and I was like, your girl's got a UTI and I am in all kinds of agony.

I feel like you have not had a good day this year I feel like your body's giving up on you a little bit they're like you know what none of this fucking new year new me shit same shit as last year worse in fact no most people think they're going to improve in the new year my body was like fuck you we're going to go the opposite direction no Matt started to describe me as though I'm rotting from the inside I was like that's nice yeah I mean that's not what you want as long as you don't start smelling like that's when you know it's over the end is near when you're sitting on the lounge and someone's like what smells like a dead animal you're like oh it's just my insides you're just breathing you're not expelling any other air than just breath that's my new scent

yeah I'm assuming Laura that your UTI is not from an excessive amount of sex it's from steroid use or antibiotics from all the steroids I'm on apparently it's a what's it like what happens not a symptom it's like a when you do one thing and then you get another thing oh it's a side effect that's it that's the word I was looking for oh my god I was like what are we playing charades? Two syllables. It's a side effect of the other antibiotics, which is so annoying because it means now you've got to go into a whole new antibiotic to try and treat the old antibiotics. I'm going to end up with some real antibiotic resistant bug soon. And then it's all going to be over. I really will be rotting from the inside. Surely this is just you building

up like every ounce of immunity to literally everything crawling on the ground. Like you are going to be that superhuman indestructible person because you're like, nothing can touch me now I'm ready for it I reckon 2025 that's my year that's when I'm gonna be the bionic woman I've given up on this one but next year I'm coming in strong I'm coming in hot it's so funny this morning I completely mistook Laura on the way to this in this interview this podcast recording on the way she's like I'm running late then nothing and then she goes babe I'm crawling and I was like oh my god she's so unwell I thought you meant you were crawling like pulling yourself along the ground crawling through life like i took it like a metaphor and i was like oh this

is going to be a shit day but you just meant you were stuck in traffic thank god i really cannot wait until you were back here and we're in the same room together for those of you who don't know brit still in scotland we've been recording via well the podcast equivalent of zoom but it's called riverside yeah it's one more week of recording and then i'm back but i do want to say i haven't really spoken about ben much my partner i'm so in love it's so gross no i know I'm happy for you I don't say oh god as in like I don't want to hear about it I am thrilled like I genuinely am so happy really you're doing a hard time convincing me that Laura I'm thrilled okay thrilled this is me thrilled

no you know when someone's like when something's not fine like I'm fine no I am thrilled I am I just I just remember those honeymoon days when you're like I want to tell everyone how in love I am and I am still in love with my husband we're just not in the honeymoon phase anymore instead one of us is yelling at the other one from the kitchen to the bathroom telling the other parent to wipe the kid's ass okay well we're not quite there yet so at the moment i'm still screaming it from the rooftops no this has been two months that we've spent together so because we're long distance we just get these little tiny blocks together usually which is like one week two weeks the longest we'd spent was five weeks and this has been just about eight weeks it's like

the longest time you guys have spent together it's the longest time in a block so i was like is it just going to be the same the whole time is that honeymoon going to phase off like you know that feeling of like being untouchable nothing annoys you about each other because you've got this short amount of time together so it's I was like what's going to happen after two solid months together but I can honestly say we're obsessed that's it that's what I'm saying I just felt like the need to share my love with the world it's his birthday tomorrow night so it's midnight right now and also it's his birthday in like 10 minutes basically are you gonna wake him up but he's in the spare room I've kicked him out he's sleeping alone I'm like sorry sucker happy birthday

but I have to go and record a podcast in the middle of the night. Yeah, so I record till like 3am, 4am. Yeah, it's rough. And then I've got to probably get up and give him a blowjob or something. It's going to be a rough day for me. I definitely will be having a very different week to you. But it's also Lola's birthday on Friday. So they're little Aquarius twins.

She's 23. That's crazy. I feel like it was just yesterday that I was complaining about the fact that she wasn't sleeping. So it has gone so quickly. It feels mind blowing to me. But you're still complaining about the fact she doesn't sleep. there's not a lot to change. She's still in the same place. We're in exactly the same spot,

actually. Anyway, let's get into answering all your questions, guys. We've got vibe and unsubscribe first. And this week, producer Keisha has abandoned us. She has gone to Perth. She has left us to go to a wedding. She was out of here at 6.30 a.m. in the morning and left us for dead, which is a good thing that we now have Jono here. If you guys listen to Tuesday episode, Jono is our new employee and he knows how to turn all the equipment on because I would have been up shit creek without a paddle. Jono is stepping in with his vibe today. Welcome to the podcast, Jono. Thank you, Laura. I feel like if we've got producer Keisha, I can't just be Jono though. I feel like- Camera Jono. What do you want to be? Video producer Jono. That's just

so long. Yeah, it doesn't roll off the tongue. Jono, that's a mouthful. What about we go for like, um, what about like DJ, DJ Jono? What about Token Man? Token Man. Token Man. Token Man worked. Okay. We're actually not going to call you Token Man. We will come up with a proper name, but I think for now we'll go with Jono. I'm not against Token Man if you're not offended. I'm fine with it. I take it as it comes. Jono, you have a really like –

Sultry voice. I never noticed. Oh, stop it. Sexy, sultry, like cool phone, almost like I feel like you could, you know, 1-800-SEX-A-LOT. Well, what do you think I did for a living prior to this, Britt? Oh, hence why he was so interested about coming on to Life Uncut. He was like, I can contribute to the conversation

so you guys are having UTIs, be there. I mean, our mornings were very similar, Laura. well Jono you are going to be contributing this week to our vibe and unsubscribe because you're taking producer Keisha's place for the minute usually we probably won't hear a lot from Jono I'm sure we'll get some little pipe-ins here and there but how do you feel about kicking this off very happy to and I've got a vibe uh big vibe locked and loaded so my vibe for this week for this last week has been group dates oh is this like a not an orgy just first date yeah no it was just a triple date just a triple date so producer Keisha and I have known each other for

little while and producer Keisha wanted to set me up with one of her friends and long story short nothing happened there and then this girl messaged me two weeks ago just sort of saying hey feel free to tell me to get lost but I think you and my housemate would get along really really well we're doing this big triple date thing we've all moved in together we're all single and I think you should be her date she's seen your profile thinks you're cool are you in is this the girl that you originally were gonna go on a date with and then she tried to set you up with her friend So she handballed you onto someone else? Yeah, it was a quick play the ball.

And so I was like, hell yeah, that sounds fun. Why not? Friends of a friend of Keisha. So hopefully still like nice person. Anyway, so it was going to be this big group date. So wait, did you bring two friends or was it you dating three people? No. John O's a player.

So three individual dates, three dates all together. There were three guys and three girls. And so we all went to the girl's house. They had set up like oysters, like charcuterie board. walked in it was like shots and then boys made espresso martinis and we had some really good chats couples sort of like talking with each other and then it was a group and then we went up to a bar had a few drinks and long like the group date was good but this girl that I was with is even better so I met her last Tuesday and in that time we've seen each other three times it's going really

well which is scary. Jono I'm here for this this is I feel like this is something I could write this and turn this into like a Netflix script so you are basically date-ception like date-inception you started off with one chick she was like you're great not for me palmed off to a friend and then the friend was like i also want to see but i want to see what you're like in an environment with other people so test then you get there then there's aphrodisiacs set up and then you've got shots so she's like kenny party is this gonna make him horny then she's like not we need to test it one more step let's go and have deeper meaningfuls and see if we connect and it sounds like you ticked every single box this chick knows what's up she just went through like six months

of dating in a night that's kind of how it feels like also for all the women who were originally like oh cool hot sounding man on the podcast who's dating single ding ding may not be single for long the the universe works in mysterious ways single guy goes in front of a very large audience of young women to talk about dating and relationships is single and then meet someone and is just kind of infatuated with them so we'll see we'll see where that goes this is so cute wow that moved quickly also okay i have one question about this whole triple date thing though did the other guys know each other who were there or was everybody on a single date was everybody on a first date or were they at different stages of dating everyone except me and my date were on a first

date so we were just on the second you were on a second day yes oh here we go so yeah the vibe is group date open yourself up to new experiences and just put yourself out there you know they actually do this I remember I got invited to one and I can't remember why I didn't end up going but they do do these sort of nights where you sign up for it and it's a bunch of strangers like it could be six men and six women and they go to one of the person's house no one knows each other or you can go with a friend and it's a dinner party but people don't know and the purpose is I guess you could meet up as friends if you really wanted to but the purpose is romantic dating and relationships So it is essentially strangers going to someone's house.

They all bring a dish. Somebody cooks the main meal and then they just get to know a bunch of strangers. I think it's a pretty cool vibe. But how do you know they're not like sociopaths? Well, yeah. I think if it wasn't through someone, if it wasn't through a friend of producer Keisha's, I would probably be a bit more hesitant towards it. So it was like a baby step of like exploring like a new frontier, I guess.

And putting yourself outside your comfort zone. I also think it's nice to do these things. Group dates, I am so for. And the reason for that is because they are, they're low intensity. You don't have to give all of your time and attention to the person that you're on a date with. And it kind of, especially if you're not someone who is great under what feels like a high pressure situation and you don't necessarily feel like on a first date, you do your best work. It kind of takes the pressure off a little bit. So I think that's very cool. Britt, what is your vibe for the week?

My vibe this week, I feel like I'm really proud of it because it's really fun and everybody can do it and it could be the perfect thing for Jono to do on his group date so it's something called Jackbox TV have you heard of it never okay it's amazing Jackbox TV is something you just literally it's I guess it's like an app and you or you purchase it online and there's all different prices so it's a game it's all different prices from like I think you could buy one game for twenty thirty dollars you can get packs of four five six seven games party packs they go up to $100, $150. And once you purchase it, you own it. So you have it always. You stream it to your TV so that you play on your TV. So when everyone's gathered around, you load it up and then everybody

goes onto the website, Jackbox. You get a code so that you're all joined to the same room and you're playing the same game and you play these games against each other. And there are so many to choose from. And they're games like someone in the room is a murderer and there's clues and you've got to think of who it is. There's games where it's trivia and you're playing against each other there's the biggest range of games and I've been playing a lot over here with Ben and my sister Sherry and her partner Jay and it is so funny and so much fun and such a good I don't want to say a time waster but a time filler like you can just sit down there and have a laugh with your friends for a long time and you're still talking in between you're not on your phone as such because

you're not scrolling so you're all engaged with each other and I've just found it the best thing I've done in a long time with this game though do you have to all be in the same room or do you play it by distance you can play it by a distance i believe but i have never done that i'm always in the same room so it's usually if you're having friends over i think you probably can but you do have to stream it like the main person that has it has to stream it to a tv so i'm going to assume it's probably wise to be in the same room but it's easy and it's fun we could have a life uncut night and play it that would be good turned into full like introvert nerd burger like i just want to stay inside and play games on the tv i reckon once the time by the time you come back

to Australia you'll feel very differently right now you're in like minus degrees yeah so like that's why you're staying inside playing games on a tv and then you're gonna come back to Sydney and you're gonna be like oh that's right there's a life that's outside that doesn't require 17 layers of thermals I am going to sizzle the second the Australian sun hits me like a vampire because it just rains here all the time and it's cloudy it's like I have no vitamin d at all oh I got the d but not the vitamin d I'm gonna make this quick but if you're somebody who's into house plants. I know this makes me sound really old and really good. Here we go. The plants. I fucking love my house plants. I love my house plants as much as I love my children. I am obsessed with

them. Okay. That's a bit of a stretch. I love my children more, but Laura Byrne is in her house plant era. I have so many. And once you become a person who can keep your house plants, not just alive, but thriving, you become obsessed with it. And then it becomes like almost like this thing that you become a bit arrogant about because you're that person who can keep plants alive. so you're like, it's your flex. It's my flex. I'm worried about you. I know. So is Matt. Matt's actually banned me from buying any more house plants. I've started propagating them because I had to get around the whole, can't buy anymore. But okay. I bought this thing because my house only has one area where there's, it's well lit. The rest of the house is quite dark because it's

like a long tunnel that doesn't have any windows on the sides of the house. Cause we're a, you live in a bunker. We're a duplex. We're connected to another house. So there's no windows on one whole side of the wall. Right. Which means that for all of the plants that I have because there's too many of them to have in the one window the ones I have to rotate them all the time because they just don't get enough light anyway I recently bought something it is a full spectrum indoor light thing which means that you put it in front of your plants and they get the full spectrum of light but usually they're so ugly and you look like you're living in a nursery and I found these ones it's from a website called mother life and they're really nice they just look like

an indoor lamp but really they're plant lamps and my plants have never been happier and I'm I'm thrilled and everyone's looking at me like I'm an absolute moron, but you just wait. There's going to be other people listening to this podcast who love their plants too. Speaking of arrogance, Laura, you know, it might not be the right time, but I don't need a plant lamp to keep my plants alive. Mine just thrive naturally. Because yours are plastic. No, they're not. I've got one plastic plant and everyone thinks it's real. That's how amazing it is.

It's thriving. All right, let's get into answering your questions. Okay, question number one. I was dating this guy about nine months ago and he's also part of our close friendship group. So there's a little bit of a crossover complication there. Anyhow, he has just unfollowed me on Instagram. We dated for one month and it ended on bad terms. I think he was in an open relationship with his partner while we were seeing each other. Both of us see each other every single weekend because of our friend group. We train, we hang out, we catch up. So the breakup has been really hard for me. Things between us were finally good again a few months ago. We were joking around, talking, supporting each other but still maintaining boundaries. Now he's been

overseas the last two months to go and see his ex-partner and family and I just found out that he has unfollowed me from Instagram. Now I'm confused and upset and I don't know how to behave when he's back. Is he setting boundaries and will go back to being weird with each other? I'm tired of pretending. Is it okay for me to text him and ask him why he has unfollowed me or do I just have to go on with life like nothing happened. What do I do? Do not text him. Do not do anything. Unfollow, block him and move on with your life. Don't give him any more energy at all ever. And also I reckon this, look, I don't know anything. I'm just guessing. I'm just putting it out there. There's a good chance that he wasn't in an open relationship for that month. There's a good chance

he was in a relationship and that's why he's now blocking you because he's worked through some shit with his partner and he's like oh that's right fucking bling bling bling bling I cheated on her with that girl who I've still been kind of friends with and now he's like very much putting a line in the sand and saying like okay I can't have you in my life because you know I need to create separation I might be in a league of my own here but I always think this is weird like if someone unfollows you you look a little bit cray cray when you even notice that they've unfollowed you like does this mean you're going on to constantly look if people are still following you and then you notice that they're not and then you get yourself into a head spin I think the best

thing to do here is accept that for whatever reason this is a pretty big statement that he's drawing a line in the sand and he's like not only do I not want to communicate with you but I don't want to see your shit either because that's what it's saying right I don't want you to be popping up in my feed I don't care enough about you anymore and I know this is tough love but if he's also just been overseas with his ex who's probably now back to being his girlfriend and her family there's a high chance that they are just setting boundaries because if I was dating somebody I wouldn't want him to be hanging out with someone he had recently been dating I just think that's a bit of a crossover boundary so there's probably that as well so I think at the

end of the day it's probably irrelevant and you probably need to admit defeat the unfollowing or the blocking or whatever has happened on social media is his way of saying like you know we're not going to be together but you're also not friends even if you got back to being in a good place where you could joke and have some bants and like you know be friendly with each other you're not friends I always think that the test for that is how do you feel when they walk into the room you know so if you're someone who's still holding on to like a little bit more and they're not just friends and you're wanting something you'll feel a little bit of anxiety or you'll feel butterflies or you'll feel a different energy when they walk into a room

because you instantly know when they're there whereas if you were just friends and it wasn't a big deal and you actually just got to a place of being completely cool with each other you wouldn't have that different type of energy whenever they contacted you or walked into a room that like little bit of hope even if that's what it is and so I think like in these instances when somebody unfollows you on social media I know social media sometimes we like to talk about it as though it's like silly and flippant and it doesn't really mean anything and we can get ourselves worked up about being blocked or unfollowed but I actually think social media is a very big statement around how someone perceives you or treats you within the real

world. And so it's an extension of the real world. He doesn't have the capacity to like, or he's not going to kind of go, hey, sorry, I'm unfollowing you in real life. I'm sure if he runs into you in the gym or if he sees you in the same friendship group or whatever, he's going to talk to you or say hi. But this is his way of making it very, very clear that there is now a definitive of light in the sand. So what do you need closure for? Because to me, that is the closure, right? Him doing this is the closure that you've been looking for. He's saying that I'm not into you enough to keep this, or I've got other things going on in my life. And honestly, you deserve better. You deserve to be with someone who, or to have friends in your life who don't make you feel

this way. So just like fucking close the book and move on. And it's not just a case of he's not choosing you he's actively un-choosing you yeah totally yeah it's not just like I'm gonna go with my life follow everyone but I'm dating this person it's I'm not dating you but I'm also don't want to look at you I don't want anything to do with you yeah I'm actually not convinced that a lot of people do that for closure so like but I just need to know why and I just need to speak to him one last time and I think a lot of people think they're doing it for closure I want to see him one more time just to get an explanation it's not necessarily closure you're chasing it's holding on to a connection you are hoping that you'll sway that person in some capacity

and you might try to convince yourself more times than not that it is closure that you're looking for and it is just that final answer but a lot of the time you're not ready to let go and you're hoping that when you see this person I'm going to see him one more time and I'm going to show him you know I'm going to look so good and I'm going to be funny totally I'm going to make sure you know we keep that but he's made his choice and it really sucks for you and I'm sorry and what I think you should do personally if he gets back and you are finding yourself in the same friend group all the time and you're out I would probably just not say anything I would probably be pretty normal like just be like hey how was your trip overseas water off a duck's back don't show him

that it bothered you and just get on with life because you don't want to make it awkward when you are hanging out in the same friend group you don't want to have this big divide and then you don't get invited anywhere anymore because your friends like well we can't invite both of them because they'll just fight so I would just try and have as little contact with him as possible in the friend situation but just just get on with it and just be polite I know it's hard because sometimes the time of a relationship doesn't necessarily indicate or it's not an indicator of the hurt right so like you might date someone for one month and you might be more hurt by that relationship than dating someone who you were invested in for six months or a year even like

I don't necessarily think that those two things are always correlative but I would say in this instance you did only date for one month and it's really healthy to remind yourself of okay we were not together for a long time so my intense feelings towards this person wasn't manifested around the person who he is because you don't really know the person who he is it was manifested around the potential that you saw in the relationship the potential that you saw in your connection with him but he is not the person who you saw potential with and he's showing you exactly the person he is and you don't want to be in a relationship with that fuck it you don't even want to be friends with that. All right. Question number two. I know you have feelings about this one, Britt,

and I think that this is hilarious, but I think tread carefully. Can I ask my chiropractor out for context? I have been his patient for eight months and the last few months we have both been a little bit flirty at the appointments, starting to talk more personal things and both just look at each other with this loving smiley face and remember small little details that I tell him about my life. He remembers all the things I seem to tell him. We're both single, both know that we are single and always talk about the single life and how we both hope that someone comes along I just don't know if I can ask him out or not or if that seems inappropriate I do have feels about this and I a new thought entered my mind as you're reading that out

firstly my thought is yes you absolutely can ask him out a hundred percent but you're gonna need a new chiropractor shoot your shot yeah you're gonna get someone's gonna have to be new crack your back and whack and whatever they do crack crack your front your front back and your crack crack your back and whack yeah you can't crack your back and whack with the same person what I was thinking when you're reading that is there was one thing she said that stood out and it's a very important human characteristic she said that when I go to him he always remembers what I've told him and ask questions that is a great trait for someone to have in a relationship but it's also a great trait for someone to have that's running a business and wants people to come back that is

how you make people feel comfortable and welcome and warm by showing an interest it's probably the number one thing people do to have that connection is to ask questions and remember there always is that now that's not me being a skeptic I think that you guys could have a great whack and crack if you wanted to give it a go front and back front back whack crack up down whatever left right but I've always said on Life Uncut from the day we started that I'm a shoot your shot person and I don't want to live my life with regrets. And I think if you don't feel like you have those connections often and those little crushes, then I would go for it. But you just have to be aware that it could not go the way you thought. And then it will be awkward as fuck to go back to him as

a patient. Okay. I have a tactic for this though, because like often with like small chiropractor or like if you go to a masseuse and you're like on reasonably good terms, you'll have their mobile number right because I think a lot of facilities now they run bookings and stuff by mobiles as well so you might have their mobile if you have his mobile number I would say send him a text after an appointment and say hey I was just thinking would you ever like to go for a drink try that see what he says if he says no never go back never go back get a new chiropractor move to a different city and just exit completely block him on Facebook if you've got his number you could also accidentally send him a nude. Don't do that. Don't do that because then you can

definitely never go back. I don't know. I don't think there's anything wrong with asking. It might be different if it was a different type of healthcare professional, potentially, like there might be some sort of conflict of interest. They're still classified as doctors. So I still think that there is. Are they? Yeah. So they're still like, I think you're still not supposed to fuck your patients. I could be wrong. Are you allowed to date your patient though? That's important. Okay. Maybe if you're a healthcare professional out there, like let me know. because I'm sure it happens I'm sure that there's someone who's like hey no it doesn't have everyone's shaking their head I'm sure it does no I know people that have been dismissed from work for

contacting a patient to ask them out yeah but that's that is I think that's wild if a patient contacts you different you can't because you have access to all of their information you have access to their phone numbers to their house like to their where they live like everything about them and also to their vulnerabilities and like the things that they're worried about about their health or their mental health or all that sort of stuff. So I understand why it's a total breach of patient doctor relationship for them to contact you. Hence, maybe why he's not doing it. He's not taking the first shot. Maybe he's making it so obvious because he's like, I can't do this or I'm going to lose my fucking license. But I really hope that you ask me. So he's maybe making it

as obvious as possible. I would love to know how that one ends. So whatever you do, please write back in so we know because I'll lose sleep over this one. Question number three. Now I'm frothing this question. I'm going to, I did actually have a little laugh. I'm going to summarize it because it was really long. So basically the two girls lived together. They were friends, but I think they became friends after they moved in. So they were housemates first and then they turned into friends. One of them was moving interstate. So she was going to sell some stuff off and the housemate that was staying said oh well can I take some stuff then just so I can keep it in the house saves me going to get new stuff and so the girl was like yeah okay so she sold some stuff to her

so she could keep it but she sold it for like mates rates so she she sold her this one particular thing that was a tv cabinet the tv cabinet she gave to her for 50 bucks like that is a bargain in this day and age so she got a tv cabinet for 50 and then two days later so the girl hadn't even moved out yet she was still packing her stuff two days later she comes home and her flatmate's like i've just got to go out i'm just organizing a sale i've got to drop something off a marketplace and she's like what are you selling she goes i sold the tv cabinet she sold the cv cabinet that she just bought for 50 and the friend was like what how much how much do you sell it for and she's like 120 so good so she's made a 70 profit now the friend's pissed because she's like well i only

gave it to you because you were my friend for a cheap price otherwise I would have sold it for $120 now they're having an out and she's almost asking us what can you do in this situation can you ask for the money that she made can you ask for the extra $70 or was this flatmate entitled to do that okay the part about this though that's the funniest which I think you didn't include is the fact that she hadn't even paid her friend the $50 yet so she'd agreed to $50 buying it for $50 but no money had been actually given. So she sold the TV and then she gave $50 from the $120 to the friend, like literally was like, thanks for that.

Here's your $50 and I'll pocket $70. It's actually so funny when you think about it. It's so fucking funny. Okay, it's not funny if you're in this situation. It's actually really shit for the person who got ripped off by their friend. But also think of it like this. Your friend's kind of like an entrepreneur. her. She's got some balls on her to even think that this is an okay thing to do. And she was

like, saw an opportunity. She's like, wow, that was a really great price for this TV cabinet and I'm going to flip it and make some extra coin. I think it is wild. It is wild to me that your friend doesn't understand why that's wrong. Or your friend is so like socially unaware why you would have an issue with this. I mean, part of me would just be like, I can't be bothered to have the argument that might ensue around this, but it would definitely make me feel resentful because you feel like you've been taken for a ride and you feel like you've been ripped off. I guess the thing is, and maybe to play devil's advocate here, maybe your friend who did it genuinely thinks you didn't want the TV cabinet and they were doing you a favor. Like maybe they

were unaware, but maybe they were, maybe they were unaware that you were going to try and sell it for more. Maybe they were just like, oh, she's wanting to leave it. Cool. I'll do 50 bucks. It's not a big deal. And I don't think that it's wrong of you to explain why you feel the way that you feel about it. I think it's okay to explain that to your friend. But I guess for me, who is very conflict avoidant, I would probably just leave it because I can't be bothered to have the arguments. Yeah. I mean, there's part of me that feels the same. There's part of me that's like, because I also don't love conflict. I'd be like, okay, whatever. I'm pissed, but I can't be bothered but at the end of the day there is a principle here and $70 is still $70 like $70 now

is still a lot of money totally I would feel a little bit betrayed by the friendship and I would whilst I probably wouldn't have it out I would have made a comment I said look I only gave it to you because I thought I was helping you out I would have sold it I would have sold that for the same price as you did or more but I thought I was doing a good deed I wasn't expecting you to go and profit off it can you ask her for the money I think you can but I don't think it'll lead anyway. I don't think it'll go down well between the two of you. And I think it'll probably drive a bigger wedge between you. It might be one where you reconsider the friendship a little bit and you just, you take the $70 hit and you move on and you just know better what that person's

like in your life and how close you want to let them. But it's so shifty. It's so damn shifty. I'd be proper pissed. Yeah. But I also think like it's instances like this, because like you can be really good friends with someone. And then you realize that they are actually a bit of an asshole when it comes to money. Like money is such a wedge in so many friendships. And I think it's over time that you start to realize who is the tight ass in your friendship group. And I say tight ass and I don't mean like, okay, maybe they don't earn enough money. And so therefore they're like, you know, more conservative with their spending. What I mean is, is that everybody has that friend who may earn an equal income, but never puts their hand up, never does a round of

drinks, never wants to split the bill properly, always wants to just like, you know, pay for the exact fucking 17 chips that they ate or whatever it is. Like I think everyone has that person in their life who kind of expects other people to pick up the tab a little bit. And those sorts of friendships you do become resentful of over time because you feel as though you're, I guess over time it's not about money. Over time it becomes about giving, giving, giving and not receiving back and not having this, you know, equitable friendship. I guess the big part here is, is you guys are moving out. How long term do you think this friendship is going to be? Because is this a friend that you became friends with because you live together? Or is this someone

who is a lifelong friend who will endure the tyranny of time? In which case, if it is the latter, you'll be able to have a conversation with them and explain to them why it's not actually about the money. It's about feeling a bit used and feeling as though you were taken advantage of. whereas if it's somebody who you know you're probably not going to stay in close friendship with then I don't think it's worth trying to have the conversations about it or have the conversation knowing that it might change the friendship but you don't care as much anyway yeah it's a tricky one you're moving into state let's be real you never seen her again and she's got your 70 bucks you're not getting it back you're not getting it back okay question number four what are your

thoughts on your partner getting massages. I was having this conversation with my fiance and I'd love to know the consensus. The nature of massages are obviously quite intimate. There's oil and there's rub downs involved. My partner said he'd prefer it to be a girl that massages him as opposed to a male. What are your thoughts? No. No what? Just no? Blanket time? Just no. No. Okay. I have, I have lots of feelings about this. Firstly, I don't think there's any issue with your partner of wanting to go and get a massage. I mean, Matt goes and gets massages every week. I do think that there is an issue with your partner saying he only wants it from a girl, but not for the reasons that you might think, not from a jealousy reason, not from a reason where I'm like, you know, oh, I don't

want my man to be out there getting touched by a female because it makes me feel insecure, blah, could not give a shit. I actually think it is a bit homophobic to say that you can't go and get a massage from a man because that makes you feel uncomfortable because there's nothing sexual about going and getting a massage and if there is and if it is really intimate for him and if it is something that he finds crosses that kind of intimacy barrier then it's a whole other problem so I would say that the gender of the person who's giving the massage should be completely irrelevant because it's not a sexual thing so why does it matter who's doing the massaging see I don't think it's necessarily homophobic I can see why he's saying that but at the end of the day

if a straight guy is going to go get a rub down and have a you know he's going to leave his partner go get a rub down and relax for an hour he's probably going to want to pick the sex that he's attracted to I don't think that that's homophobic but I'm like well he's probably like if I'm going to pick a chick to rub me down or a man to rub me down I'll probably pick a chick that's interesting because I would say a lot of women would probably choose a woman for the opposite reason yes because they feel safe whereas a man's choosing it because it's arousing which means that it then has a different connotation massages are arousing I have so many male friends people in my life that get hard in a massage even if it's not sexual even if they're not attracted

to the person they will get hard like and it's not a sexual thing it's it's just that they're relaxed and somebody's rubbing you know it's a sensory overload so they're getting their body rubbed down so there are those things a hundred percent I mean I wouldn't care if Ben went to a female masseuse because I trust him and if he wants to relax and have someone rub some oil into his back for a while go for it but I think you need to start to ask yourself why you feel uncomfortable by it is there anything in the relationship that makes you worry do you feel like you're an overly jealous person unnecessarily I think there's some questions you need to ask yourself but at the end of the day you've got to have a conversation with your partner and you both

have to be comfortable I'm okay with it Laura you've said you're okay with it yeah but I think we disagree a little bit which is fine totally fine on this i think the reason why i have no issue with my partners going and getting a massage is because of how it's not a gendered thing and they're not doing it because it's something that they're going and getting done because it's a sexual experience for them so if matt was like i'm gonna go and get a massage because it fucking gets me off i'd be like oh okay let's have a chat about that i don't really feel great about it but he's like babe i've got a sore neck i'm gonna go and get a massage so he doesn't care if it's sarah or Sven who's doing the massaging, which means for me, it therefore has very different connotations.

Whereas I think if your partner is saying he only wants it from a woman, that's where the insecurities are coming from, right? Because it then takes on a very different meaning. And I think it's so interesting to unpack the why, which we brushed over it a little bit, but like, why is it that for certain things that are intrusive on our bodies, we feel more comfortable with specific genders? Like for example, a woman going and getting a pap smear. A lot of women, not everyone but a lot of women feel way more comfortable having a female gynecologist to do pap smears why is it when a woman goes and gets a massage a lot of women not all of them of course feel comfortable having a female masseuse whereas like on the flip side we're like oh but men want

to have a female masseuse as well because it's kind of weird for them to have a male I genuinely think that we have so many layers of homophobia within our subconscious within our own biases that we don't realise that it actually plays into that. And this idea that like a man doesn't want to be touched by another man because that's like a bit fucking weird, but it's okay for women to be touched by women because that's actually a little bit cool and sexy. I do think that that exists beyond it being as literal as that.

Like I think it's something that it lives in our subconscious a bit because of fucking the way that we've been exposed within society. Look, at the end of the day, it's a profession and it's just somebody doing their job and they do this all day in and out. they are not looking at your boyfriend they are not there for any other reason than to do their job which is to relax the muscles or to make something feel a little bit better it's not there to jack him off it's not there to steal your man have a conversation with him and ask why and

explain how you feel and go from there but I think this is one of those things that you may be overreacting a little bit if your partner has never made you feel a reason to have those insecurities yeah I do think we have slightly different opinions on this which is fine yeah totally I do not think that it's necessarily an overreaction because like I don't think she has an issue with him going and getting massages I think it's the specificness around it without having the context as to why so maybe ask him because you know in your question you said that you think it's because it's intimate ask him why he prefers to have a woman and if he says it's because it's intimate maybe you guys can sit down and unpack okay well what is it that is weird to you like do you think

being touched by a man is weird is that sexual for you like that's an interesting conversation to have and to get to the bottom of for the two of you guys as well I mean yeah I think I have no issue with massages at all but I do question like the why at the bottom of it when it comes to gender all right question five I've slept with a guy a few times as of late and I'm the one that made it very clear to him that it's just sex and I don't want any more. The first time we slept together, he came inside me, even though we'd had some discussions about the fact that I am not on any contraception. Now we've had sex a few more times than that. And we've been pretty lax in terms of, well, I think you guys can read into it. They've been pretty lax in terms of contraception

and in terms of having sex. And she's just found out that she is pregnant. Do you think I should tell him or not bother. It won't change the decision for me, but I don't know if he deserves to know because it is just as much him as it is me. I never thought I'd be in this situation, knocked up and not ready to be a parent. I should also note that I'm not going to keep it regardless of anyone's thoughts because of the medication that I'm on, which makes it impossible for me to have a healthy child right now. The doctor made it very clear that I could not fall pregnant on this medication. Big overarching question is here is, does she have to tell him? this guy that she's been seeing for a few weeks who she's been sleeping with intermittently and

there's nothing serious and it is quite casual thoughts considerations how would you approach this my immediate answer is no that it's your body and this decision is completely and wholeheartedly yours so if you do want to have an abortion and not tell him then that is your prerogative on the other hand if you think that conversation would be okay and it's going to make you feel better knowing that your decision is not going to be swayed then of course you can tell him but all that's going to do is bring up another conversation but if you feel like he's entitled to know and you're going to feel better about the decision and maybe you're going to have someone to unpack that with because it's not necessarily an easy thing for everyone having an abortion for some

people could be a breeze and for other people can be very traumatic experience at the end of the day you can go and do absolutely whatever you want and you don't owe him a thing in that sense so it's I think this one's a really difficult one in how you feel in the moment and what you think the right decision is, because there's no right or wrong answer here. It's whatever you feel comfortable with, with him. Are you ever going to see him again? Are you ever going to speak to him again? Is it that casual that this is it? Like you're going to go have your abortion and never ever go on a date, never sleep with him, never do anything. Then probably no, I probably wouldn't tell him. I completely agree with you, Britt. I think the only thing about this

when I read it I was like ah I don't agree with that you said that it's just as much him as it is you which like biologically potentially you could look at it that way but in terms of the decision making the impact on your body the impact on your mental health all of those things this is entirely your decision especially because you are so resolute in the knowledge that you don't want to have a baby and I think that by having this conversation with him unless you are sure how he is going to react. Is it worth it to your mental health? Is it worth it to the support structures that you need around you at this time? I would be seeking support through people who I know will be there for me because he's an outlier. You don't know him well enough in terms of like

how he will react to it. He may react amazing in which case, and you know what, it might not even matter how he reacts. Maybe just for yourself, you might want to have a conversation with him and you might want to tell him, but I would be making sure that you have like your friends or your family or someone who you can trust who's in your corner who you've already spoken to first so that you know that you can go to them and that they have you wholly to support you through this I'm not saying and I know that there will be some people who will disagree and he'll be like he has a right to know but what's he going to do with that information because the information isn't around him changing her mind he just is going to know for the sake of knowing like it's not going

to benefit him or impact him in any way so I know that it's probably the nice thing to do to tell him but I think if that's going to create any sort of stress or anxiety to you you don't owe it to him you don't have to tell him anything because it's your body you have full agency over it and you have full agency over the decisions that you're making the only thing I would and I know you don't need a lecture around contraception because obviously you can make up whatever a decision Laura's like wear a condom no but I guess like the thing is is like if you know that you're on a medication that you can't have children when you're taking the medication because you've been told by your doctor that you can't get pregnant and also you have no interest

in getting pregnant at all either especially to someone who you know you've made it very clear that it's just sex it's not committed and there's nothing long term or no longevity into it I would absolutely say that you need to take some responsibility for your contraception and also make sure that he's taking responsibility as well like not willy-nilly just blowing his load inside you because he can and it feels better because that's just it's gonna end up with you being in this exact same situation again and that's just science and that is just what happens so I think you know now that you you have experienced this so when you say you never thought you would be the girl that would end up in this sort of situation the thing is is so many people end

up in this situation so many people have and do end up being pregnant with babies that they don't want and have to go through the process of having abortions and for some people those abortions don't have any long-term mental impacts a lot of people like to think that you know you're going to go into this and then have regrets or you're going to have some sort of negative adverse feelings afterwards but I can say from my own experience that I and I've spoken about abortion before on the podcast like I didn't have any regrets when I was in my 20s and I had to make that decision it was sad but I didn't grow up regretting it or do I ever think about it so I think you know you know what the right decision is for you go ahead and do that but just take control over your

contraception moving forward because it's so important for your long-term mental health what I will say is that I had a friend in this exact situation she had just started seeing this guy like slept with him a few times but they were also sort of going on dates so it wasn't I don't know what this situation is it wasn't just like a hookup but they had actually gone on a few dates and were sleeping together as opposed to like just call over you know come over have sex leave yeah and she fell pregnant and was you know also very much not supposed to fall pregnant and I remember she called me and she said should I tell him like I'm going to have an abortion but do I I don't know if I tell him or not and we had this literally this exact conversation and we ended up together

deciding that she should and the reason we did that was because they thought that there could be more there they knew it wasn't just going to be sex so we and we had this really big discussion about this and the ups and downs you know the positives pros and cons and she had decided that you know what if I think I might want a future with him I think it would be detrimental to the relationship if it comes out down the track in any capacity so that was the reason she decided to and he was amazing he was really supportive he picked her up from the clinic and looked after her for a couple of days and they were not serious at that point at all but I guess in a way that really showed who he was too you know he sort of stuck by her and they ended up dating for a while so

there's that as well and it's going to come down to your individual situation I can't say that enough we can't tell you what to do we don't know him or you or what you're like together but if you feel like you can benefit in some capacity from the support that he might provide you then go for it if you think that maybe you want a future with him and it will impact you in some way then go for it but also completely your decision well that's it for today team if you have questions you want answered please send them in you can write to us on instagram which is life uncut podcast just put ask uncut at the top so that we can see it ask us whatever you want also send us your accidentally unfiltered all your embarrassing stories literally anything we

want to hear about it if we've ever answered one of your questions please send us the aftermath what that's what we call it ask uncut aftermath it's just a follow-up but we just want to know i mean we've been asking for aftermaths for so long but y'all we we answer your questions and then you ghost us you don't tell us what happened and we need to know there's so many scenarios where we will be like, oh, I wonder what happened to this person or to that person. And we want the second chapter to the story.

But also if you're somebody who's sent in a question, like one, we are so grateful for the fact that you guys trust us with some of the hardest things that you're going through, you know, to the girl who just wrote in about this situation with her abortion. Like it is truly such a privilege to us that we get to answer your questions

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