Life Uncut - ASK UNCUT - Virginity, guilt sex and rag dolls

Episode Date: June 22, 2022

Welcome to therapy friends!Come on in, the coffee is brewing.On today's episode of Ask Uncut, our main man Matty J is filling in for our beloved Britt as she fights the viruses away.Today's episode kicks off with a parenting nightmare that Laura and Matt are currently experiencing; it's much less than ideal.Then we jump into your questions: I'm a virgin and I'm 25. I've been seeing someone and I am wondering whether I should tell them that I've not slept with anyone before? I feel ready to take the next step My partner and I have a great sex life. We've lived together for 2 years and we are constantly naked around each other; we sleep naked, we walk around the house naked a lot, shower together etc. I'm wondering if being naked a lot takes away a bit of the allure of our naked bodies? My partner likes highly sexualised photos on instagram. Not just influencers/models but people he knows as well. When I brought this up, he said that he didn't like that I follow and like other guy's too; but they are never sexual photos. He said that he thinks just 'liking' it is a form of flirting. He is still liking the photos that I said I had a problem with. Am I valid in my anger or is what he said valid? Should I keep using my ex's streaming service account? If you have a question you'd like answered, or an update on your situation since your question has been answered, please send it in to @lifeuncutpodcast on instagram!Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because we love love xxxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders, past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode is recorded on Gadigal land of the Aurora Nation. Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. My name is Brittany Hockley.

And I am joined by Matthew Johnson for one last time. No, you're not. What do you mean, no, I'm not? I'm staying forever. Do you know what? After Tuesday's episode, Britt has made a dramatic recovery. I feel like she listened to that episode and she was like, this has to come to an end. This is a potential disaster. We need to remove Matty J as quickly

as possible. Well, I'm glad to have you back. And this is our, for anyone who doesn't know, this is our sexy, saucy, down and dirty little number where we answer your deep, dark and your burning questions. And now we have a man here because I'm pretty sure that is what you are, Matthew Johnson. I think I'm a man, correct. And you're here to answer all the questions from a male's perspective. I cannot wait to share my wisdom with the listeners here today. I mean, it's one of those things where like Britt and I have always said that we are unqualified but come with loads of life experience to answer these questions.

Where do you come in, babe? I don't have a lot to offer. Unqualified and inexperienced. I don't have a lot to offer other than the fact that I have a penis. That's all I have. That's all the listeners need. Yes. I guess I also have some experience in the parenting world as well,

which I can share that wisdom also. Well, we don't have any questions that are parenting related, but you know what? You do have a lovely penis. I'm glad that you can share that with people. Thank you very much. I'm ecstatic to have that recorded so I can keep that for future reference. Wouldn't it be nice if Daily Mail wrote an article and that was the headline? Maddie J has a beautiful penis.

I'm due for a headline with Daily Mail, so that would be great. Hey, isn't it funny? Isn't it funny that sometimes you have these stark contrasts in life? You know, one second I'm on the Gold Coast, I'm on the red carpet, I'm talking to some of the biggest celebrities in the country and in the blink of an eye, I'm back here as a parent. I'm brought back down to earth. Wait, why don't you tell people exactly what happened?

The very first night that Matt got back from a couple of days away, something happened in our household and it was like the gates of hell and fury had opened. I'm just going to pre-warn everyone. once again we're talking about kid poo that is literally all we talk about as a couple of parents okay so i came back home i was very tired laura and you were you could see it you even said to me i was on the couch and you looked at me and you said you need to go to bed honey and i also forced you into recording tuesday's episode you had faded by the end of that yeah i had about 10

energy left you forced me into a record it was now 10 o'clock at night and i was on the couch I peeled myself off the couch and I thought, you know, I just cannot wait to have a quick shower, hop into bed. We had fresh sheets. I was like, this is going to be amazing. And I went into the bedroom and I thought, what is that weird smell? And Marley has now gotten into this bad habit, I blame you for this, that she now falls asleep in our bed.

Marley sleeps in our bed and then we transfer her into her bed. What have you done? I quite enjoy it. And, like, when Matt's away, as I mentioned on Tuesday's episode, I get really frightened at night time. So I quite enjoyed having her in the bed with me. Because a three-year-old is going to defend you against an intruder. Marley, quick, stop them.

I just roll her at them when they walk in. That's not funny. We can't joke about that. We're terrible parents. So, yes, Marley's now in our bed and she was constipated. So I walk over to her and I peel back the covers. Also, I didn't want to turn the lights on because I didn't want to wake her up. So I'm kind of just, you know, feeling my way through the situation right now.

And I couldn't tell if she was like damp because she was just hot under the covers. And she does still take, I mean, she doesn't take milk to bed anymore, but she still takes a bottle with water. So she often sprays it around the bed. Like, yeah, she's, I mean, she's an absolute hooligan. You don't want that. You don't want a crazy three-year-old in your bed at all. But it was not water, Laura Byrne.

It was, it was poo. And it had gone absolutely everywhere. It was, I'd never seen so much poo in all my life. It had gone up her backside. It had gone all over the sheets, all over the covers, pillows, everywhere. And she was just. I was like, Laura, quick, help. It was a nightmare.

So just to add to this, I then got Marley and I took her and put her in the shower. She was still asleep. Like she slept through this whole thing. So I'm trying to take her clothes off. And, of course, she starts crying because she's asleep and she doesn't want someone to take her clothes off in the middle of winter while she's asleep. So she's so confused and I'm trying to take her clothes off

to get her into the shower. Then she wakes up halfway through this whole situation and she realises that she's actually covered in shit from her chin to her toes. So she starts waving her arms around and her legs, like, shake, like, get it off! Get off! And so we're in the bathroom, she's waving her arms,

shit's flying everywhere, Matt's yelling from the bedroom. it was not okay for a monday night because you know what's hard when you take off a fitted sheet and we had like a pool of shit and like just like the rebound sometimes and like so it was just from the elastic there was just shit everywhere i was i was thinking i was thinking to myself take me back to the gold coast where i was by myself in a beautiful hotel room instead i'm at home where everyone and everything is covered in shit i'm like ah the life of a parent isn't it lovely and let me tell you a mattress is never the same after a three-year-old has had we're never going to be able to sell that mattress on facebook marketplace and it's like a newish

mattress it was very expensive new mattress it was expensive also to make things a little bit more stressful in our household we've got these big garbage bags now the issue is when i left for the Gold Coast. I forgot to put the bins out and I blame you for this. I couldn't put the bins out. I woke up. Why did you gaslight me about the bins? Well, you parked the car too close to where the bins are kept. So I couldn't get them out of their like little, like, you know, makeshift home in the garage. And the bin at that point was already overflowing. So now we have, I would say like six excess bags. I'm doing covert missions at night time to other parts of Bondi where I know that it's bin night to then like secretly put the bins in the garbage.

This is very controversial. And this is something that we have spoken about in the Facebook group before. And also actually we spoke about the radio show. I just want to make this very, very clear. Matt is not going and putting our rubbish in other people's bins prior to bin night. It's only like he, this is the level of dedication. He has loaded up the car with all the rubbish and on bin night when the bins are already out, we know the different areas of Bondi they're being collected the next morning so yeah so it's not it's not something that's being it's i mean it's less bad it's a little bit bad it's less bad i still feel like i'm doing something illegal though when i'm like parking my car up and i'm like looking around no one's here

and this is at like 9 30 at night time and then i'm like and he's wearing a balaclava and i quickly open the boot get bags of rubbish run over to the bins and then all the bins are full so i was trying to find a bin that was empty enough to like take in more rubbish and then someone was walking their dog and i was like ah just like threw it in the bin ran back in the car drove home it's stressful can i just say one of the worst things about living in a house and not living in an apartment block is the fact that you actually have to remember to take your own bins out usually when you live in an apartment block there's one person who's like decided and taken responsibility for that or someone from strata does it like you never have to think about it

but when you move from an apartment into a house you only have yourself to blame or your fiance say if you want to blame me fine but it's only it's up to you all of it everything everything in life when you're an adult is up to you and there is nothing more disappointing than forgetting to put the bins out it kills me it kills me so we've got two days left before we can get rid of some of this rubbish and we'd just like to make a sincere apology to anybody who lives in Bondi who has found extra rubbish in their bins at night time uh it's not us put it that way but before we get into answering all your deep dark and your burning questions and I've picked out some that I think that maybe, Matt, you can provide a new and interesting perspective on.

Put it that way. That is such a polite way of introducing me to this episode. Understanding the psyche of a man. Yeah, you complicated beasts. So this article. This article. So we've spoken about the woman who married the dolphin. We've spoken about the woman who married the bridge.

There wasn't there one as well about a guy or a girl who married a train station? Why would you marry a train station? I don't know. It's so noisy. Very, very, and very dirty. Dirty. But yeah, I feel like every week there's just a new item, object, thing that is being married off.

There has to be a name for it, right? What's the name for someone who falls in love with objects? You are asking the wrong person. I just did a live Google as we're talking about this, and it is called objectophilia. Objectophilia. Makes sense, doesn't it? Objectophilia. Not truly, not very Latin, that one.

And they were like, oh, what do we call this object that they've fallen in love with? Put a philia on the end. Object a philia. Okay, so there is a woman from Brazil. Can I guess what she's married? Yes. That's not how this game goes, but let's do it anyway. Has she married a football?

No. What about? This could go on for a while. Okay, so tell me. So she's a 37-year-old woman. Her name is Mary Bone Rocha. She married a tree. I saw there was a lady married a tree recently, but she was in the UK.

Was it a tree? No, look, maybe somebody else has married a tree. Maravone Rocha Morass is her name. Lovely name. Beautiful name. She was 37 years old. She was complaining to her mother that she couldn't find a good man. Yeah, I feel that.

So her mother made her a life-size rag doll. I think it was made as a bit of a joke. However, Maravone, I think that was her name, she has fallen in love. She said it was love at first sight with this rag doll. she has fallen in love with it and not only has she fallen in love but she now has a baby rag doll what article what do you mean love knows no bounds she went into hospital and she gave birth after 35 minute labor hang on a second to a hang on a second to a baby rag doll i'm looking at photos right here how is that possible and also i feel like that's quite selfish because i would only

go to hospital if i had something that was seriously wrong with me like imagine going in there and being like oh my gosh i've my arm has been chopped off please i need immediate help and there's a lady in there giving birth to a rag doll baby but what i'm imagining is that she walked into the hospital with the rag dolls stuffed up her shirt like little kids do when they're like when they're like i'm having a baby and then she lays down on the operating table and pushes for apparently she pushed for 35 minutes is what she said but she said it was relatively painless and that's unsurprising because she gave birth to a fucking doll relatively painless what pain was there so there was a little bit of pain there was a little bit of pain look I need to I need to

read this quote to you because it's so unbelievable but also so great and I also when I read her quotes there was a part of me that went okay I kind of get why you married a rag doll so this is the reason why she married her doll he doesn't fight with me he doesn't argue and he just understands me Marcello is a great and faithful husband he is such a man and all women envy him When my mum made Marcelo and first introduced me to him, I fell in love with him. It was love at first sight. It was a wonderful day, very important and very emotional.

And to be honest, he sounds better than a lot of my ex-boyfriends. It really puts into perspective how grim the dating scene is when you would rather marry a rag doll. I wonder if her mum regrets giving it to her or if her mum's like, hey, at least she's happy. Wait, there's one more thing. She goes on to say he has so many great qualities, but the only downside is that he's very lazy

and doesn't do a lot of housework. Hey, no one's perfect. They truly aren't. And do you know what? You could get a real man who's also all of those things, but is very lazy too, plays PlayStation all day, sits on the couch, drinks beer. Okay, Laura, be honest with me.

Have you ever looked at any of Marley's dolls, and I'm talking about the ones that are like the prince dolls, and thought to yourself, I wouldn't mind a bit of that. No, but there are definitely some days where you annoy me so much, so much that I think maybe I could marry an inanimate object instead. Wow. Tell me what you really think. Anyway, let's get into the most important part of this episode

and that is answering all your questions. For the record. Yes. That's very offensive. Okay, if you had to choose anything in the room right now to marry, Oh, like that, that's a hard question. My robot vacuum cleaner. Don't act like you didn't know that was going to be the answer.

I've seen the way you look at him. Just a robot vacuum cleaner and a vibrator. Can you marry two things at the same time? And 12 months from now, I swear there'll be other podcasts that are being like, hang on, the article reads here that a woman in Sydney has married her vacuum cleaner and she gave birth to a child as well. She was in labour for 45 minutes.

And it was painless, but very clean. It was a very, very clean birth. Her poor husband was left devastated when he was kicked out of the home. Anyway. Okay, let's get in to answering the questions. Tell me you love me. I love you. I love you.

I love you. Thank you. I love you. Do you know, I tried to have sex with Matt last night. He said that I was having guilt sex because he tried earlier and I said no. No. And then I tried and he said, I won't have guilt sex with you. So we're kind of having a bit of a tiff today.

Okay. Can I just say, can I just say, Laura and I, I think we're both very keen at around about 6 p.m. Obviously. To get the kids into bed. No, it's a very terrible time to have, like, sex is just not going to happen because, you know, we're talking about bath, dinner, bed for the kids.

We had to wait a couple hours. But the issue is by the time you put the kids in bed and by the time. and you gotta let dinner digest and then you like clean the kitchen it's now like nine o'clock we sent a couple of emails the passion that we were experiencing at 6 p.m had somewhat fizzled and then i got into bed without having a shower and then you said i'm all right come on honey it's late let's get to bed you then brush your teeth you didn't even wash your feet which is what you normally do but then you did nothing none of that you didn't have a shower you didn't wash your feet you didn't wash your hands you brushed your teeth and to be fair it

was a very quick brush of the teeth it was not a quick brush no and then you hopped into bed and then you said i'm going to set my lungs i have to get up in the morning so everything everything you were doing was pointing to the fact that i knew you just wanted to get into bed and go to sleep and so then i said you know i was feeling a little bit rejected so i said are we ever going to have sex again and then you were like oh hang on a second hey come here my little honey and you were like mama's ready and i was like well i'm not gonna have sex now because now you're just doing it out of guilt i don't i don't want guilt sex from you i want you to jump at me i want you to be oh the passion here i am answering questions about how so many of you can get passion back in

your relationship and listen to what we're dealing with well you and then you were like i just want to cuddle and i'm like i know what you're trying to do i know what you're trying to do no and you said just one kiss i gave you a little peck and you were like pathetic peck can you admit please admit it was a little bit of guilt sex yeah it was i knew it and i i wanted to have sex and i didn't i didn't to make a point to make a point all right well it'll probably still be guilt sex tonight though won't it how long is it until it's not guilt sex i'm gonna make you wait until you want it so bad and then and then i'll give you guilt sex oh god but then by then i'll be running away with the vacuum cleaner. By then I'll be a little alone. Welcome to Married Life.

Anyway, guys, I'm sorry. That was a real therapy session for us. First, we started off with the poo talk. Then we got into ragdolls and now we're here talking about guilt sex. And it was just a wild ride from start to finish, but we're not even finished. We're not even halfway. We haven't even started. I feel like we needed that. There was like a little bit of frustration from both our parts. Obviously I have a little pent up sexual frustration, which may be coming out in the podcast but i feel like we've cleared the air which is great and i promise i will wash my feet and thoroughly brush my teeth tonight i mean have a have a bloody shower might even try that would it kill you let's get into these questions let's do it okay hi ladies and matt hope you are all

well unfortunately brit isn't but thanks for asking i don't mean to laugh i don't mean to laugh she's getting better no she's almost better I've had a few wines and now have the courage to ask this question out loud so I'm 25 and I am a virgin I've had a few relationships but never felt comfortable enough to I guess give up my flower in quotation marks I'm now seeing a guy and feeling all the pressure and I think I'm ready to take that next step my question is however do I have to tell him beforehand that I am a virgin how do I bring it up should I be embarrassed about this please help a girl out oh that's tricky isn't it so one of those things you know when you have a moment early on where you can

say something which is important information and you don't and then the longer you leave it the harder it gets i think it could i think it's really important for him to be aware of the situation because it's a big deal for her and i think it would be such a shame if it was a situation where let's say he puts in a really crappy effort and doesn't try and make it in any way special and then in her mind her memory of her first time is going to be like it was you know it was half-assed i think if he knows what's at stake here and what it means to her he'll make so much more of an effort i hope i guess the thing is and like what i wanted to say first i understand where you're coming from in saying that she should tell him i think firstly you don't have to tell anyone

anything that you don't feel comfortable with like if you don't if you don't feel comfortable telling him that you're a virgin and you want to keep that information to yourself just because you're about to or going to have sex with him doesn't mean that he's entitled to know your sexual history in the same way that if you have had sex with hundreds of people you don't have to tell someone that like that's not information that they are just entitled to know however i agree with you matt in that i think it would be a good idea to tell him especially if it's not you know you're just going out there wanting to lose your virginity to a one-night stand or whatever like you know get it in the bag get it over with if this is a guy that you really like

if this is heading somewhere and you think that this is going to be a relationship telling him so that he can treat it with care because I think maybe he might think that you're a seasoned professional and might go in there with no foreplay might go in there with no sensitivity or tenderness and you might be left feeling really disappointed whereas at least if you set the bar and set his expectations there's more of a chance that he will kind of meet you in a place where you feel comfortable meet you in a place which is safe where you feel protected where you feel loved not not like necessarily that he loves you but that you feel like it's a loving and safe space where you can explore sex for the first time but then what do you think is the best time because

it's a little bit tricky because i guess you wouldn't want to say this information of like hey i'm a virgin and then he thinks well like why didn't you there were so many opportunities early on to share that information with me and you didn't you held back maybe she alluded to the fact that she's not a virgin which makes it harder for her to admit it now when do you think is the right time for her to bring this up i don't think that there's necessarily a perfect or right time to bring this sort of stuff up at all like breakfast 6 p.m no but i mean if you've got if you're in the early stages of dating i don't think it's gone too far like you haven't had sex yet so it hasn't it like the time hasn't passed hasn't been like it's gone too far that you can't tell

him so therefore it's uncomfortable question do you think it is the wrong time to tell him when it's like about to happen if they're in bed yeah that was the one thing i was going to say i think that this is the conversation that you and we've spoken to sexologists around this chantelle otten is very big on conversations about sex don't happen when you're having sex they happen before you get into the bedroom so if there is something that you want your partner to know it doesn't have to be just around virginity or not but that's a conversation that you have before you get into the bedroom. And maybe it is like one night when you guys are having dinner or when you're traveling in the car together, whatever, a place where you feel safe and comfortable. And you feel like you

guys can have a conversation around it. Not like he's running out the door to get to work. Hey, see you this afternoon. So long as it's a, it's a place where you can have a bigger conversation around it. Like realistically it's, it's going to be a non-issue for him. Like I can't imagine why it would be something that would be an issue for a guy uh i think it would just give him especially since you guys are dating and it's like you know turning into something i just think it will give him the tools to be a bit more sensitive around it i guess the only thing that could happen for some guys this is my question okay from a guy's perspective how would you react to that information if you really like the girl yeah i think okay the only downside would be is that if

you are making him aware of the situation and like what's at stake that added pressure could hinder his performance maybe his ability to get an erection or maybe to keep an erection depends on the individual you mean because he will be so in his head like the pressure of the sexual experience will put him so in his head that he might he himself might not perform to his best ability totally but i'm hoping that once he has this information at hand that he can just put in a little bit more effort to make the whole event a little bit more special question go on when and how did you lose your virginity and was it special okay i think there there was two scenarios here i'm not i guess okay i tried to lose it and i think it was unsuccessful on the first attempt

i was dating someone we were really young i think too young to know what we were doing and I didn't like, there was no foreplay, nothing at all. It was just, we had, we were at home, we had a few drinks and. What do you mean? There was no foreplay, none. Well, I mean, that's not, I shouldn't be that surprised. There wasn't much, there wasn't much. And, you know, it was just for me, I didn't, I look back

and I think that poor young man had no idea what he was doing. That poor young girl also is who I feel sorry for. exactly exactly and like we both of us the two it was her first time as well it was just a nightmare and it like just didn't it wasn't working wasn't working so i don't like we didn't really i guess we didn't really have sex and then weirdly i wasn't even that drunk i hadn't had that much to drink but we were trying and it was like oh this is really hurting it's not good we're gonna stop and then i had to vomit what yuck not like obviously i not in the bedroom but that is the most unspecial first time that I've ever heard in my entire life no foreplay didn't get it in

then vomited I had an upset tummy oh yeah okay and so then that was my first attempt disaster and then I don't remember how long after that it was but we were away it was like a little a boy's trip and it was during school holidays so like we were staying on a place called Stradbroke Island where there's a lot of young kids and you kind of like have house parties and the situation presented itself. And she was someone who had had sex before me. I was still, I guess you could call me a virgin. And I think she very much took control of the situation. She did everything. I just lay there. I was like, all right, let's get this show on the road. I literally like a plank of wood, lay there in bed with an erection. And she was like, all right, I guess I'll do

everything here I think maybe it lasted about 15 seconds good I think maybe 20 and it was it was over so quick and then afterwards I thought to myself job well done you are welcome you are welcome did you orgasm you're like are you satisfied did you orgasm was that an orgasm no i'm sighing in absolute disappointment it's i think i think you envision it being this amazing euphoric situation you normally assume that both people either of both virgins or both inexperienced sex early on is just really bad yeah and i think that's such an important thing like i don't want to leave this question without saying that it is very likely i mean it could be amazing it could be a great experience but i think a lot of

people have like awkward fumbling uncomfortable first time experiences was yours that mine was actually pretty great so i all right legend because because i felt safe so i was in a relationship i had been dating the guy for a little while i was probably also i mean not older but i was like you know almost 18 and i just felt really safe and we took a lot of time and so it didn't really hurt as much as what other people had said he knew well he knew and he was also a virgin so it was like we were like really figuring it out so it was oh well good on you two okay so it was a little bit more special anyone vomit no one okay just confirming uh longer than 15 seconds a lot longer than 15 seconds it was a ruin um no can we re-record my answer my first time was beautiful

oh it was just exquisite but i think you know whatever whatever the first time experience is is like there are going to be many more sexual experiences that you have and potentially even with this guy you know like you're going to have more experiences if the first time doesn't live up to the standard or the expectations that you have like don't be disheartened by that because you know it's like anything in life the first time you try it it is uncomfortable you're not good at it you don't really know what you're doing and then you learn and you find your groove and you become way more comfortable but not only just comfortable you become way more confident the last thing I want to say on this as well in terms of losing your virginity for the first time

is that or not even losing your virginity but like having this conversation around virginity with this guy he should be completely cool with it and if he is not completely cool with it if there is a part of him that's like oh too much pressure that's too hard basket I don't want to do this that's not a reflection of you that's a reflection of his investment in the relationship and yes that could be disappointing like if he turns around and says oh that's I'm too frightened I don't want to whatever like yeah and kind of moves away or pulls back from the relationship just know that like that is not a reflection of you or where you are at or the fact that you were honest about it it's truly just a reflection and what he was after out of that relationship because

there could be the chance as well that he's not after commitment if he hasn't verbalized that yet if you haven't had the conversation about where the relationship's going he might only be in it because he wants a sexual relationship and then he probably doesn't think he'll get that from somebody who hasn't had a lot of sexual experience and can i also just say i agree with all those points but it's also really important to remember that if there is anyone out there who's having sex with a guy and he only lasts 15 seconds and he vomits give him a second chance give him a second chance he could be a good guy he could also be the bachelor of australia the most eligible man all right let's get into question number two hey guys this might sound silly but it's been on my

mind a bit i live with my partner for two years and we have the most beautiful fun relationship we've been each other's best friends since before we dated i have no doubt that he is my penguin i was listening to last week's podcast about surprising the other person naked to generate intimacy now we are intimate a lot in terms of kissing and hugging and spending quality time together but not necessarily sex i'd say we still have sex two to three times a week which what hang on so much wow they don't have kids put it that way okay which seems enough for him but i want more sex more and when i raised this with him he also said he wants more too the thing is we are just so comfortable around each other and always have been so we shower together we'll shower

with the door open we're always naked we sleep naked we walk around the house naked we're still obsessed with each other and attracted to each other but do you think this constant nakedness could be taking the exciting part out of having sex i'm not really sure how to spice things up we you and i are pretty fine with being nude like we're kind of nude a lot around the house yeah yeah i think so like we're pretty liberal nudists and also like i've seen you give birth yeah you've seen very intimate parts of me do you think the fact that we are quite fine with being nude affects our sex life i mean i don't think it has any impact on our relationship i don't think like we're naked in front of each other pretty frequently i mean you're walking

around the house nude yesterday just with no pants on i had a top on but no pants and i love how you were like by the way i'm naked you're like thank you i noticed that i i don't think that nakedness needs to be the only thing that creates excitement in your relationship i don't think you need to change anything like if you guys are super comfortable being nude around each other if you walk around the house naked shower whatever what shower naked i think most people do i don't think that that is the only way of creating excitement or intimacy i mean one having sex three times a week is a pretty healthy sex life actually although when i do see your bottom i saw your bottom last night and that's what that's what put me in the mood oh i think there you go my

bottom i saw you okay but i think that there's other ways as well i think like sex toys or i don't know there's plenty of other things you could watch porn together there's definitely what about a massage what about a massage oh yeah sexy lingerie i sometimes actually lingerie is more sexy than being naked like naked can just be a bit like i got out of the shower here i am here it is slapped on a slapped on the table but like i agree do you know what i find really attractive tell me which i don't think you've ever worn but what are those stockings that go up to the thigh i have never worn them high thigh high stocking yeah with a set of heels really yeah can you wear them yeah sure good this is what you can do sit down with your partner talk

about it because like the thing is you've obviously brought up the fact that three times two three times a week is not enough for you and he verbalized you thought he was okay with it he verbalized he would like to have sex more so it's great that there's an open conversation on the topic 100 and then sit down and talk about okay well what are some things that get you off what are some things that i'm not doing or have never thought of that you would like me to try question yes what turns you on i well that's a stupid question cleaning the house you okay yes you cleaning the house having a clean house makes me feel like I don't want to have sex in a pigsty I don't want to have sex when there's shit all over the house like it's I'm not that is not an

environment that makes me feel sexy it's an environment that makes me feel stressed and anxious yes you turn me on physically when you've just gotten out of the shower after being at the gym. I find that very sexy. Yes. What else turns you on? I'm the same as you though. I feel like we are very aligned. Like I just need a passionate kiss and that's what gets me. I'm like, oh, I see where this is going. All right, come on, let's get to the bedroom. Put the kids in bed, put the TV on. Do you know, like it's, and I guess that's the big thing, right? Like when you have kids and sex isn't as free or free flowing or as easy to navigate because you're on schedules, you're on nap breaks you've got to keep them entertained because they're in the next room like those

things can become bigger hurdles but because you guys are you only have the two of you to worry about having really open conversations around what each other like and then thinking okay so like for one thing you could say to me that you want to see me in stockings it's up to me to do that do you know i mean like i can take that information and do nothing with it or i can be like hey babe bought some stockings online like we're going to try that out so that's the thing I think sometimes your partner might mention things that they like, but because it sits outside of what you feel comfortable with or whatever you've tried before, you might not have the motivation to initiate it.

So open channels of conversation, but actually trying to figure out how you can implement those things can go a long way in keeping the spark alive beyond it just being around being naked in the house. We need to wrap this up because I need to go to the gym. Okay, wait, we've got two more questions. All right, question number three. I am so angry and confused. The other day I had a conversation with my partner explaining that I don't like it when he likes highly sexualized photos of girls on Instagram, not just influencers,

but also people that he knows. He then told me that he has a problem with me following guys in general on Instagram and liking their photos too. Side note, these are never sexual photos, just literally photos of men. He implied that liking photos is basically flirting, which i completely disagree with after our conversation i can still see that he is liking sexualized photos of other women my mates are even sending me screenshots now which i guess is helping to fuel my rage am i crazy or am i super insecure or is my anger valid should i ignore this or should i confront him again i'm not really sure if i can get him to see my viewpoint i think he's deflecting a little bit here i i think by him trying to go to her and say well

you're doing the exact same thing. So you're in the wrong as well, but it would be interesting to know what his track record is like. Obviously there's some kind of trust issue there. Like she's worried that if he is liking these types of photos that he is trying to flirt with these people that maybe he's done something in the past, which is making her feel really jealous. Maybe, but also I think it's pretty shit. It's a very, very shit response of your partner. If you've gone to your partner and said, Hey, this makes me feel insecure for them to gaslight you and tell you how you're doing the same thing or how it's not a problem. And then to continue doing it takes a really strong and also a really empathetic person to turn around and go, yeah,

I can see why that would have made you upset. And I'm sorry, I won't do that anymore. And that's the type of person you want to be in a relationship with. Not someone who, when you communicate the things that upset you, even if they don't agree with you, they validate the fact that they understand that you're upset by it. And they say, okay, what can I do to minimize you being upset? but what he's done is he's listened to you say that this upsets him said that's your problem and continued to do it anyway which makes him a pretty grade a jerk and i if that was me in our situation like i would definitely be having another conversation with him about it and saying that i felt unheard and also that i felt disrespected even more disrespected than what you felt

originally when you brought up the conversation i think i do think as well that a lot of people out there do engage with content as a way of kind of being like hey i see you i like that like where else can we take this i know that you know if you're you're taking a highly sexualized photo and you're putting it out there as a thirst trap you're paying attention to who interacts with that type of content what is that giggle what are you thinking because many many years ago i was on the bachelorette obviously you have to even though the result has already happened it doesn't make it on air until many months later so if you're the runner-up like I was you have to still keep this you know illusion that it could be you at the very end and do you remember back in the day

with Instagram there's a functionality that showed what content your followers were liking do you remember that you could you could like you could go through and you could see content that everyone else was engaging with commenting with etc I at the time was liking very specific type of photos on Instagram. Oh, you were going through and liking all bikini photos. Ass shots. Yeah, I was, that was like. You were single, but no one knew you were single.

Everyone thought maybe you were with Georgia Love. Yeah, so I was, like all the content that I was engaging with was just nothing but beautiful women. And there was an article in Daily Mail of like, this is what Maddie J is liking. One guess who's single out of The Bachelorette. and it was near the pointy end of the competition and they were like you need to stop doing that immediately okay here's my question would you use instagram as a way of picking up chicks though at

that point in time so like did it work for you if you would like a photo of a bikini photo would you then slide into the dms yeah because like what happens was you know you would like a photo and then they would then the next time you posted something didn't have to be a thirst trap but they would they would like it straight away and you pay close attention to the people that are engaging with your content immediately so there was a couple of people who you know it became really clear that I was paying close attention to them and their page and that they were also paying close attention to you so it would then progress to like not just a like but a like and a comment and then like a like and a comment and a dm and then the conversation on dms would it

would escalate and that's how you would meet certain people well I think also like bringing it back to this girl who's written in the question there's a reason why you feel insecure and I guess you know if he is liking these sexualized photos if he is doing it with complete disregard with how you feel it would have been one thing if his initial reaction was to say like I'm really sorry I'll stop but the fact that he's continuing to do it despite your feelings knowing full well that exactly what Matt said like people pay attention to who's liking those photos like it's unnecessary I would be fucking pissed if you were spending your afternoon liking photos of hot girls in not much clothing or bikini shots or whatever but not just of celebrities of people who you

actually know of people who you have access to i think that that is a really like that's a different part of this conversation is like it's one thing to like a victoria's secret model online but it's a very different thing to like photos of sarah who you work with and might go out for drinks with on a friday night like that sets a very different precedent and it also sets like there's a much different level of accessibility to that person i totally agree so i understand why you're pissed off by this. And I personally don't think that the anger is unjustified and that I do think that because you've been gaslit, you feel even more angry. And that's why you're asking, like, am I being crazy in this situation? Okay. I have one more question. It is a very quick one. It's a

quick fire answer. Should I stop using my ex's streaming account? We broke up six months ago and I still have access to his Netflix. He's so lazy. I don't think he would ever notice. I've been using it up until this point but there's a little part of me that started to feel a little bit guilty should I just keep on keeping on or should I unsubscribe from his Netflix I think she actually has access to all of his streaming accounts I think it's totally fine I think it's fine until they kick you out I think I he's it's not like he's left out of pocket he's paying for that each month anyway so it's not as if she's taking money from him because it's money that he's going to spend regardless right well you have like multiple user accounts don't you

So you have multiple user accounts. So she's just using one of his user accounts. So he's not paying excess money for it. He will notice one day when he wants to give that password out to someone else and they can't access it because Susan from five years ago is still watching Netflix. No, because it will also come up when he goes into Netflix. It will say, do you want to continue watching this

or you watch this documentary? Maybe we suggest this one. And he's like, what? How do I lose a guy in 10 days? I didn't watch that. I reckon there's a very good chance that he does know that you're still using it and he just can't be bothered he can't be bothered to tell you to stop okay like taking the question seriously the right moral thing to do because i know that there'll be someone who'll slide into

the dms and tell us that we're assholes the right moral thing to do would be to unsubscribe because you've thought about it you probably should it's probably not the best thing to do what would the majority of people do and the real yeah the realistic thing here is just keep using it continue on and and and then if he pulls you up on it you can just act like you had no idea and be like i never wrote that into life uncut that wasn't my question yeah i think that's fine that's fine i mean it's it's a it's a white lie that's not really hurting anyone totally agree so yeah i mean you know we can usually take the high road but sometimes you just got to take the low road all right guys and that is it from us another ask uncut done and dusted and that's my last episode

and that's it until the next time someone is unwell can't make it but it was great to be here I enjoyed being back on the microphone with you, Laura. It was great. When you say it's great to be here, do you mean in our living room, sitting at our table? On the podcast, within Life Uncut, it's great to be in the podcast world again. We love having you. You are our favorite sub in.

And if you have a question for next week's Ask Uncut, you can slide on into the DMs at Life Uncut Podcast. If you have loved the episodes, I want to leave a review for Matt because it's exactly the type of ego boost that he needs. you can also do that on apple podcast or on spotify and you guys know the drill tell your mom tell your dad tell your dog and tell your friends and share the love because we love love the question is the question is that's where the episode finishes we've got a couple of hours now to the kids need to be picked up from daycare what should we do i thought you would never ask

you