Life Uncut - Ask Uncut: Wedding Nudes, Tight-Arse Friends And Charging My Boyfriend Rent

Episode Date: August 2, 2026

Welcome back to Ask Uncut, where we answer your deep, dark and burning questions! Before we get into it, Britt has a story that will not be leaving her brain any time soon. Delilah went out for her last toilet break of the night and came back with an uninvited passenger. Vibes of the week: Britt — Abel Ceramics Laura — Feel Better Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee: "The Daily Habits That Protect Your Brain at Any Age" with Dr David Perlmutter  Then it's into your questions! HOW FAR DO I TAKE THE NAKED POLAROID TREND?I'm getting married in September and my partner loves the trend where bridesmaids slip cheeky Polaroids to the groom on the wedding day. My question is: how far are we taking this? I'm all for a cheeky photo, but what if a naked photo of me falls out of his jacket pocket and is seen by a family member? Do I make them too explicit, or should they be more covered up? It's a little wild to have them at an event where everyone I know is there. If it gets picked up by the wrong person, they'll know exactly who it is. MY FRIEND IS A MASSIVE TIGHT ASSWe're a group of friends, and one particular friend is always the tight ass. Small things like not paying you back for weeks, only splitting the bill if she's had more drinks than everyone else, always rounding down when we transfer money. Recently she organised a group activity and we figured out she actually profited off our contributions. How do we bring this up? Is it worth it, or do I just slowly moonwalk out of the friendship? She's definitely not struggling financially, she just has always been tight. HOW DO I FIND A GUY WITHOUT BEING A STALKER?About a year and a half ago, my ex's friend asked me out and I said no. It was too soon, too close to home. I recently ran into him at his workplace and realised I'd actually like to go on a date with him now. I know he's single, but he's not on social media, I don't have his number, and I can't exactly show up at his work without looking desperate. How do I ask him out or spontaneously meet him? SHOULD I TELL MY BOYFRIEND HE'S ESSENTIALLY PAYING OFF MY MORTGAGE?I bought my apartment five years ago and only have about $80K left on the mortgage. My boyfriend is moving in, and since we'd be paying $400 a week each if we were renting, that's what I've asked him to contribute. The catch is my mortgage is interest-only and only costs $300 a month. So his contribution is basically paying it off super fast, and I haven't told him how little is actually left. I don't think it's unfair, since he'd pay the same renting anyway. What should I do?" Timestamps 00:00 — Intro 05:33 — Vibes of the week 11:05 — Q1. How far do I take the naked Polaroids for my groom? 20:13 — Q2. My friend is a massive tight ass 28:47 — Q3. How do I find a guy without being a stalker? 35:06 — Q4. Should I tell my boyfriend he's paying off my mortgage? Ep mentioned: Apple I Spotify I YouTubeKeep your questions coming! Slide into the Life Uncut DMs at @lifeuncutpodcast on Instagram You can watch us on Youtube Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Hosted by Britt Hockley & Laura Byrne Produced by Keeshia Pettit Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford & Lachy Pugsley Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! XxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Brittany. I'm Laura. Hey, so this is Ask Uncut. You write in your questions, we do our best to answer them. They're your deep, dark, dirty secrets. But before we get into it, Laws, I need to tell you what happened to me last night it was like it was like something else that when I keep imagining the picture and I'm sorry that you guys can never see what I saw because it's definitely a visual thing but every time this image flashes into my head I'm in hysterics it is like something out of a movie so last night about 11 o'clock time to go to bed I always let my dog Delilah out the back because I have my door closed I let her out for like 10 minutes she has a walk around does a wee

does a business come and then I come out she never comes in on her own she loves being out there and I always have to be like Lila come and Delilah notoriously doesn't listen to you so you scream that probably about 15 times and then drag her by the collar inside no she's pretty good at nighttime she usually comes after like two calls because it's bedtime anyway it's bedtime so I let her out I wish my children did that yeah she's actually such a brat she's the most selective hearing dog you've ever come across. Anyway, so I let her out to do a wee, go and do my stuff, and I come back to get her and I can just hear this like scuffling

in the bush and I'm like, oh, what's she doing? Is she like burying a bone or something? She's killing a possum. We don't laugh. It's not funny. It's not that. No. It's nighttime.

They're dogs. It's terrible. It's not that. Australian fauna and wildlife. If this possum wasn't so savvy. Sorry. Don't tell me it was a possum. Yeah, but listen.

bravo to this possum so I can hear scuffling and then I'm like Delilah because she's around the corner and I'm like Delilah and she's not it just sounds like something's not right like I say Delilah come and she jumps out of the bush and she's running around in circles and there is a possum on her back on her back I'm not kidding it was strapped to her like this and Delilah was like maniac and running the possum was hanging on for dear life it was a white tail ringtail and it was like a movie i was so concerned for both of them because the possum was obviously scared out its head but delilah was like what the fuck is on my back and so i think this possum has like i do not know what went down but this possum

has jumped in the air somehow hitched a ride on delilah's back every time i think about so i'm i'm like scared for both of them right i'm like is this possum digging its claws into delilah's skin i don't think you need to be worried about delilah i'm more worried about the possum but delilah wasn't she was i don't think she understood it was a possum on her back she knew something was there because she could feel it was why am i sad because she wasn't being aggressive or anything she was you know when you put a hat or something on a dog they don't like it but they don't understand it's exactly the same as putting a hat on like a baby when the baby's like what the fuck's on my head and then they spend the

whole time trying to pull it off it's that Delilah's running because she's scared because she knows something's on her and the possum's hanging on for dear life I locked in with this possum and I was like I'm gonna help you and so I'm running around this is 11 o'clock in the dark in the yard I am running around after my dog in the yard who won't stop because there's a possum on her back and the possum won't get off because there's nowhere to go and I eventually like it was like it was like Tom and Jerry and so I eventually was like fuck I've got to do something so I went full action mode anyway I grabbed Delilah and I just raw dogged it like with my bare hands I just like reached down and grabbed this this possum off and Delilah was like what

the hell and this possum's like anyway I just sort of launched the I've got a video actually I launched the possum no I didn't throw it but I tried to get it into this tree and it sort of like went it's let its hands out and it landed on my back like this ledge and then it landed on my back and i ran around and it's still there what the fuck anyway i i basically i was it was very steve irwin it was very like it was a real moment robert i want to be very proud of me but it was just the funniest i can't i will never unsee until lila coming out in this post i'm just like anyway it's it's gone on to live a wonderful life i think it was fun i'm like props to me i'm really didn't know where that story was going and the fact that i knew it was a possum only because

like in our area there's a lot there's a lot of possums at night time and like you do have to be careful not to take it to a serious note but you do have to be careful with like your animals and possums and they're so cute and they're particularly dumb and they always end up in weird situations are you okay i just keep getting the image it was like four legs were spread on her back and it was holding onto its fur the ring tail was up and i was like i didn't even have time i think i was like what the fuck it was bareback bondi i was like delilah why are you so awesome on your back this is my new friend mom

oh my god all right well look we are here to answer your deep your dark and your burning questions but before we do it's time for vibes and unsubscribes oh yeah always forget about that we're done that's it that's the whole episode hey what's your vibe oh i know what our vibes are this week yeah so you might have seen on our stories we posted like these little coffee mugs like ceramic coffee mugs that are personalized so they have our names on the front there's the cutest coffee mugs that you've ever seen yeah and they have life uncut at the top like printed and they've got different colors and it's from one of our lifers and now a few years ago when she started this business she reached out to me and she offered to make Delilah like a beautiful

personalized dog bowl and it has Delilah on it has her nickname in it so it says squidlet in the middle of the bowl it's really really cute and then over the years I've gotten a few other things like little mugs and different kind of things. She just is really creative and does it all herself at home. And so she made us these. Buster has a bowl and it says hungry and handsome and it's such a beautiful dog bowl as well. Yeah.

And so that's our vibe this week because these personalized coffee mugs are super, super cute and I absolutely love them. If you go onto her website, she has so many different things that you can get, a lot personalized, a lot for dogs. It's just really, really cool. So this is from Able Ceramics on Instagram. she's got a website go and check it out maybe you want a dog bowl maybe you want some coffee mugs but her coffee mugs as well not just these ones her coffee mugs for like at home are so cute there's

so many different designs it's really cool they're also so incredibly thoughtful like i mean she's making the ceramics herself everything is completely handmade it's a one as far as i'm aware it's like a one person shop i'm pretty sure yeah and the stuff is truly beautiful so yeah able ceramics that is also a vibe for me but i do have a podcast that i want to recommend I've recommended this podcast before it's Feel Better Live More and it's hosted by Dr Rangan Chatterjee we've actually had him on Life Uncut before but the podcast itself is like he interviews specialists in so many different fields of expertise of health and overarching the podcast is all around like how to better optimize your life I dip in and dip out but there's been a few

episodes over the years that I've really enjoyed and something that I find it's a bit niche it's definitely something that I'm interested in because it affects my family and it's something that I live with a great fear of and it's around dementia and around alzheimer's so this episode is called the daily habits that protect your brain at any age the new science of dementia prevention with dr david pelmutter now the thing that i found really fascinating about this is that for so long a lot of the conversation around dementia and alzheimer's has come down to your genes and like your predisposition to that happening to you when you're older and i guess for me personally it's always been something that I have in the back of my head and a fear that I have in the back of my

head because my so my great auntie she passed away in her late 50s she was 58 when she died of alzheimer's which is so young yeah she had early onset it was horrifically aggressive and I have such strong memories of that as a child of how bad it was and my my grandma had dementia it's been something that has been very much kind of like through our family tree alzheimer's and dementia so I live with this and this is not news I've spoken about this before on the pod I live with this fear and also like this fear of like being the person that has Alzheimer's or dementia and like my family having to take care of me it's not just a personal fear about memory loss it's about what that does to the people who have to become caregivers and to my own children and

anyway the thing that I loved about this episode is that it shifts it away from just being something that you're predisposed to from like your DNA and your genetics and it really talks about like the actionable things that you can do in your daily life to try and stop and to try and prevent and there are so many things and I think like for me hearing that gives you a sense of like a small amount of reassurance that you're like okay I know that like doing like loaded weights is something like minimizing alcohol there's so many different things and I think for something that can feel overwhelmingly helpless when I listened to this episode I was like okay I'm gonna do x and I'm gonna do y and I'm gonna do z and whether or not it has any impact in the long run at least I can

feel as though I did the things that helped in any way it possibly could there was um I don't know if you saw it laws Chris Hemsworth did that doco limitless did you ever watch it yeah you know Falcon actually worked on it so that's how I knew about it but he anyone that doesn't know Falcon he's our friend Falcon's my friend he's our friend no so yeah yeah Chris Hemsworth did there's a genetic testing that you can have done which tells you whether you have a higher predisposition to Alzheimer's I am actually booked in to have the test done but I'm I'm doing it at moment really so I'm booked in to have the test done but I have rescheduled my appointment three times now because you keep forgetting sorry too soon bad joke no to be honest I keep on rescheduling

it because I'm so worried about knowing I understand that but also that's not going to help you know head in the sand you may as well get information now information's power and I'm sure everything will be fine with you but I'm also doing it but I'm doing it for a bunch of stuff So I don't know if it's the same test, but it's inclusive. It's like a genetic carrier kind of screening, but a really specific screening. I'm doing it as part of fertility, but it covers everything. So my understanding is I will get that predisposition back as well

for things like Alzheimer's. Well, look, maybe something we'll talk about a little bit more once we actually know more, once we do it. Once I pull my head out of the sand. So it's Feel Better, Live More, and it's the most recent episode. It came out on the 15th of July. Wonderful. All right, let's get into your questions.

Okay, question number one. I'm getting married in September and my partner and I have been together for eight years and have a great relationship. For context, and just so you know, there is no pressure from him. I want to do what I'm about to describe. He has mentioned multiple times that he loves that trend where the bridesmaids slip cheeky Polaroids to him on the wedding day. I remember hearing Brit talk about how she did this on her wedding day. So my question is this. How far are we taking this? Like I'm all for a cheeky photo, but what if a butt naked photo of me or photo of my boobs falls out of his jacket pocket and is seen by a family member? I think you're really guessing where this is going to go. Do I make them too explicit or should they be more

covered up? I've taken these sorts of photos for him at home and enjoy it, but it seems a little bit wild to have them at an event where every single person you know is there. It's not going to take much to work out who is in the photo if it gets picked up by the wrong person I think they'll know who it is please help a girl out I think I'm overthinking this I think you are overthinking this but basically she wants to like create nude photos for him to have printed on the wedding day yeah so this is a trend and people I did it people were doing it it's where you take nude photos and polaroids and either you can give them deliver them to your groom throughout the night or you get your bridesmaids to do it. First of all, you're not overreacting. I want to

say you are not overreacting. Now, I have been sitting on this story. I always thought it was going to be a live show story and then, well, here we are. The live show has got delayed and so we're live. It's a podcast. We're here in a room and we're doing a show. I actually love this trend. I think it's cute. I saw it very successfully for a lot of people. Anyhow, I got my bridesmaids to deliver nudes I actually got Keisha to actually got Keisha to take my nudes she took them you know when we said we crossed some boundaries like if Brit was like hey so Keisha unpaid can you please take a box shot of me perfect so get my good angle get the light out soft light it was actually at my hen's weekend that I took them and Keisha and some of my other bridesmaids and my

sister and another girl that was there like we were like let's just fucking do it anyway but me being me I took some and I have said this before I took some that were like hot but 90% of them were not hot I was like intentionally supermanning through the air and they were getting action shots like one boob was like flat down with gravity and they were not hot so for these specific photos even though they were funny photos you were doing them to give to Ben on the day yes okay but also some hot ones as well yeah because that's who I am right so like one would be a hot photo then the next one he gets I wanted him to laugh and I wanted him to like fucking like they were not hot i need to before we get into like where the story is going i just need to

cover something you want to see them i can show you that perfect yeah that's i don't have anyone i would take in my i would never gonna ask you i see you nude all the time i know but i i think it's a specific kind of person that feels confident enough to have someone take nude photos of them like i'm not like i'll take them of myself and i'll send them i am never i am never getting a friend to take fucking g-string photos of me it's that's never happening i am not that person if you see these photos you will die of laughter and you'll be like i would do that because they're silly they are and there is trust me there's not a lot of fat left in these boobs and when you were flying through the air sideways gravity gravity checks

in anyway like i was super like you know how you lay like plank long out long and you put your hand it's like you're laying down but you're yeah it was just stupid stuff anyway so we did that printed a bunch off and where did you print them polaroids so they come out oh not to office works came out school i was like pick up at three no it's a fucking polaroid so prints on the spot so ben and i actually have a polaroid book and since the day we met we have we both have two polaroids and every trip we do we take polaroids and it's in our book so our whole relationship we have polaroids of everything it's cute so anyway took these nudes packed them up in different envelopes not envelopes like a tiny little wrap and throughout the night my sister and my bridesmaids

my friends would go up and tap him on the shoulder and you'd film it so I have it I just never used it or showed you guys or I should actually I'll do it and anyway he has a look and he sees the nude he responds and just laughs puts in his pocket and that happened a few times throughout the night so we get to I delivered him one as soon as we cut the cake RIP to my cake as soon as we cut my cake I gave Ben one myself and as soon as I hand it over to him you can see his mom walk over to congratulate us so his mom and dad are coming and I'm and you can see the moment where I'm like put the nude away puts in his pocket all these nudes in his pocket anyway forget about it they're safe in his pocket the night goes on and at the end of the night we all

decide to like yes let's live our best life so we jump in the pool and we all jump in the pool in our clothes and we just didn't think about it and so Ben jumps in the pool we all jump in the pool get out drying off and it happened in like slow motion I sort of turned around there was still all his friends in the pool and someone's like what are these and there were these things floating in the pool and i looked at it and i was like no and they they were going to pick them up and i was like no when i looked at ben ben's jacket was off he had jumped in with his clothes on all my nudes were floating around my pool at my wedding and i was like don't touch it so i'm running in my wedding dress to launch into the pool i can see his friends picking up the nudes

looking only i think i don't know i think only one picked it up and looked at it i'm like bad nudes we both launched back into the pool collecting these nudes i think one friend saw it and i think we sort of smoothed the situation over when you say you think one friend saw it what did they say like what indicated that they saw it like hey it's brit it's a nude he looked at it was like that threw it back in the pool i clocked that so when i say i think i know okay yeah yeah i know how did you smooth it over i just pretended it didn't Sorry. I just pretended it didn't happen.

So we collected the nude Polaroids and just played on and I just hoped that no one else saw these things floating around the pool. And I was like, Ben, did you – baby, I was like, did you not think when you jumped in the pool? Also, you can't blame him though. No one thought. You didn't remember. No one remembered.

No, at the end of the night. Okay. And it was very funny. It was. It's a great story. But in hindsight, I think to this girl, I'm like, go hell for leather. Like, I mean, the odds of that happening to somebody are slim. But it doesn't have to be full on sexy.

I had no full nudes. Like I had underwear on or a g-string on. It was only my boobs out and just different poses. But if I were you, I wouldn't be going and doing like full leg spreads and stuff like that. Like I just like think use your, you know. I think if it's a wedding, think tasteful, artful nudes. Like if you're going to like do it like a classy nude.

But are you a nude kind of couple? Yeah, she says she does it at home. Okay, so if you're taking nudes constantly and you're sending them partner and that's kind of like part of your flirtatious thing so fine i think it's i think it's all fine i like the idea of doing it on a polaroid and not getting it printed at a kiosk no don't a kiosk that's what they call them little photo kiosks but i'm not a nude person i think matt would have just fucking laughed if i'd given him a nude at the wedding he would have been like what are you doing but that's the point the groom's not getting a boner and being like i'm

gonna go and masturbate in the shower now it's supposed to be just cheeky and fun and maybe it's supposed to get you like a bit excited for when you go home because no one has sex on their wedding night everyone gets home and they're exhausted no i would love to know and do like a bit of a poll who actually had sex on their wedding night because i remember matt and i were like we're going to be the exception we are absolutely going to have sex now like there is it just doesn't happen it's such a big day it all goes longer than you expect you kick on afterwards and then you're like guys we'll just we'll just consummate in the morning but no one's having sex at night no one some people are some people nick off after the ceremony and you know like after the

ceremony you go and have your photos taken yeah some people nick off have photos taken and have a quickie dude you saw my dress and that was not coming off and if you go under that dress he was not coming back out Ben died of suffocation he would have lost Ben for life that night if he went under it we had sex in the morning when we woke up because we woke up together you know people people usually say oh you can't spend the night together at your wedding we did so the morning of the wedding we had sex the following morning we had sex but absolutely fat chance of getting me to have sex after my wedding I was cooked I would love to know I'd love to know if you had sex on your wedding day also if you did this the photo sneaky nude situation but I think

if you are contemplating doing it anything that you can add to to make your wedding and the wedding day feel like fun and special so that you have those moments with your partner go for gold not Not for me, but you do, you boo. If you could go back, I reckon you'd do it. I'd take your nudes for you. I'd deliver them to Matt. I'd print them at the kiosk. I'd do it all.

Okay, next question. Help. My friend is a massive tight ass. We've had a few of these questions. This was really particular. I like specifics. And if we've had a few of them, that means there's actually quite a few people in this situation. It's very, yeah.

It is a tricky one. Okay. Okay. We're a group of friends. And over the years, there have been many small instances of this one particular friend who is always the tight ass. It will be small things like not paying you back for something tiny for weeks. And then you have to follow up. And then if you go out to dinner, they'll only split the bill if they've had more drinks than everyone. Otherwise they order their own. So basically like if they know they're clocking up more of a drink bill, they'll split the bill so that everyone pays for it. But if they are maybe only having one or two,

they'll say, oh, I'm just going to get it myself. Which, I mean, I think that's. Ah, it depends. I don't know. Okay. They always round down when we transfer money. Example, we split something that would be $19.80, and instead of transferring $20, they'll transfer $19.

That's so weird. That's so, but also like so stupidly petty. No one cares about the $0.80 either way or the $0.20. Well, she does. Recently, we did a group activity that this person organized, and after a little sleuthing, we figured out that they essentially profited from our money contributions so that they wouldn't have to pay that's cooked how do we bring this up is it worth it or do i just slowly moonwalk out of the friendship for context this

friend is definitely not struggling they have a high combined household income they own their own house and they pay extra off their mortgage they just have always been tight she's the type to ask for a discount on everything returns items after they've been worn and then quotes consumer rights the list goes on. Look, I don't think you have to stop being friends with someone because they're a tight ass. People have very different money languages. Some people are super generous with money. It's, you know, kind of like money comes in, money goes out mentality. Sometimes money goes out more than it comes in. But like often it's not an indicator of whether you have a lot of money. It's just the way in which you approach it. Like I think of Ellie, for example, Ellie does

not have a lot of money. She is the first person to put her hand up to pay for everyone else. It's just the person that she is. And then I can think of other people in my life who have a reasonable amount of money and they will count dollar for dollar of what they, what goes out for them. I guess it's an example of people's generosity, but also it's an example of how people were raised and how their money values were raised. I don't think that you need to cut a friendship because your friend is a tight ass, but I think you need to manage situations that are going to deeply piss you off try to avoid doing combined paid things together don't allow them to be the one to organize the activity and then tell you how much something costs like I think that ultimately

if you can minimize those instances then you're going to minimize the amount of resentment that you feel for your friend but if you have a great relationship in all other respects surely you can still be friends with someone even if they're a bit of a tight ass yeah I think I agree I think it's all the little things added up yeah because it's like okay I don't care that much that she rounds down to the dollar instead of up but I think that and then you see her making money off you guys for activities and then you see her wearing clothes for however long and returning them I understand that it's a cumulative effect and you're probably like a bit gross really what's resentment right and then you start to get the ick for your friend I think wearing the clothes

like for however many times and taking them back is not cool like I don't like that rounding down to the dollar doesn't bother me personally. If you're only rounding down to $1, whatever. If it was $200 they owe you and they give you $150, that's different, right? Or like whatever. If it's more than a dollar, but I think rounding down to the dollar, I let slide. It's not cool that she's organizing things and charging you guys more to cover hers. She's charged you an admin fee. That's what it is. This took me a half an hour time to organize and I'd like to be paid $30 more time. An FPOS fee. Yeah. I think the only way around that, I wouldn't be ending the friendship buy that the girl can't be trusted to organize the activity or you just ask for transparency

hey can you send us the booking website so we can just get across prices and organize how much we're paying like that's all it has to be right it's instead of taking something at face value which sucks because a friendship you should be able to take things at face value and if someone says something costs $50 yeah you should hope that it costs $50 like you wouldn't want to be like oh she's probably it probably was $30 and that makes me uncomfortable but if she's an amazing friend just don't leave her in charge of organizing anything. Yeah. And don't get me wrong. Like I understand why it builds resentment and I understand why it makes you feel as though, do I just moonwalk out of the friendship? But the problem is, is like, sometimes I think

what we do is when we identify something that we have an issue with, with our friends, like for example, this, we don't want to bring up or have a conversation about it. Cause that's just kind of awkward. It's uncomfortable. Yeah. But you have identified an issue. And now anytime she does anything that revalidates that issue, you're like, oh she's done it again oh she's done it again and so like you become laser focused on the things that reinforce that she's a tight ass right so you become laser focused on that you notice everything and you become more and more resentful it's so different in a romantic relationship because normally in a romantic relationship we'd be like hey talk to your partner around how that

makes you feel communicate but we don't have that same transparency with friends because of the awkwardness so i don't know maybe there is a world in which you can the next time you're doing something that's a group activity or a dinner or something like that instead of waiting for a situation that's going to piss you off getting on the front foot and saying hey can we just all pay for our own tonight because there's always some sort of drama or you know what guys if we're going to split the bill can you guys all transfer me here like I'm going to give you my BSB or whatever it is can you guys transfer me at the moment it's like I'm tight for cash whatever it looks like there's a way that you can manage this so that you don't have to totally end a friendship

So the other thing I want to say, and I'm not saying that this is what she's doing, but I have heard this used a few times as a reason somebody has money and it is and it isn't. So when somebody says they've got a mortgage, like they've got a house, they're doing just fine. I have no doubt that the fact that they have been able to buy a house and have a mortgage puts them in a good financial position because they had the ability to do that. But now they have the mortgage.

Exactly. So having- They're drowning in debt, everyone. Generally, yes. And orgasms. Sorry. They're drowning in a mountain of debt and they're also having multiple orgasms. So good for them. If you missed it, that's a dig at Laura. But it's true, right? Like if someone

has the ability to buy a house, you're like amazing. You have had, you have saved up a decent deposit and you financially as a dual income household have been able to do that. But it does mean that they are actually probably strapped with their mortgage as much as it puts them in a percentage of people that have the ability to. Most mortgages are double what you would pay for a rent. Like if you're renting, I mean, people in my life, that's their experience. If they own something, they are paying twice as much as what their rent would be. And so that's just food for thought as well. When you think, oh, they are fine. They're fucking paying a mortgage. That could also mean that things are still tight for them. Just something to consider.

And they could also just be a tight ass. How do I find a guy without being a stalker? Oh, Darcy. I think we need to expand on this. That's not a good heading. the entire question nearly a year and a half ago I was asked out by my ex's friend after we broke up I didn't agree to a date it was way too soon and very close to home plus I wasn't in the right headspace anyway flash forward to now I bumped into him at his workplace he is no longer friends with my ex after the brief reconnection I realized I would be really interested in going on a date with him I know he is single as I saw him on a dating app but ran out of likes to be able to I actually swiped to him, and by the time I had more,

I couldn't find his profile anymore. No. That is the worst. Sliding doors. The fact that you only get X amount of swipes is an issue that every dating app needs to fix. Can't you just pay for more swipes? She probably doesn't want to pay.

She probably thought he'd be there when her swipes were ignited. Okay. The problem is he doesn't have social media. I don't have his phone number, and I can't go to his workplace. No, you can't. as that would come off desperate and a little bit stalkerish how do i ask him out or spontaneously meet him this is funny really hard no it's funny because like this part of us if this was a movie if this was kate hudson in some kind of rom-com you would say okay if you know where he works

you just you know what time he finished if he's a nine to five you would be walking down the street potentially and run into him when he leaves. And you're like, oh my God, like I was just heading into the city now. Like it's an awkward running, right? But then if it ever comes out that you did that, it's giving stalkerish. But I do like Chucky. Yes. It's not when I'm not recommending that. No, but I do think what you can do. And I really try to think through this without social media, without phone numbers, I think you're limited to LinkedIn. You know where works you know his name you can find him on linkedin people use linkedin for so many different things oh yeah it's like it's just a networking app and you can network the hell out of that

linkedin has turned into an adjacent dating app yeah it absolutely has so you know what when we would answer these questions a year ago i'd be like oh linkedin weird way to find someone to track them down it's hot now fucking get in my linkedin link me linked let me link you let's link together link up but i think linkedin is absolutely appropriate like definitely explore that avenue if he doesn't have a linkedin let's say he doesn't he never set one up how do you feel brit about calling no how do you feel about calling the office and getting his email address no okay he actually would have a work email address everyone everyone has a work email address he might be a spy so i don't think he is what you could do is you could find out what

the prefixes for the work email so like you know yeah but you can't call up and be like hello I'm Mary from the council I'm looking for Frank's email that'd be like okay psycho Mary you could just say I don't know I don't know what he does for a job baby he works in marketing just say you've got some marketing for him I don't you got some things you want to market to him I don't know I've got some ideas I want to run by yeah I want to jam with him I want to have a sesh I don't I don't know but surely you can if someone out of the blue tracks your email down and says I want to jam with you I can guarantee you guys are not jamming I just think I want to know how bad is it and how inappropriate would it be for you to contact his work to get his email and I only

say this because normally I would go absolutely don't do that but you know he is interested he has asked you out that was a long time ago though well and he may not be interested sure that door might have closed but he was interested he did ask you out assuming he's still interested is it an overstep to contact his work to get his email address I think it's okay I think it's do you know what it's okay if he's super keen and it's weird if he's not it depends on him because you know it's like unless you try it's you know like if you're into it and someone goes out of their way to do something for you you're like he's just passionate like he's so into me like green flag but if you're not into it you're like fucking creep like the guy called my work you know

it could go either way when you do that i think your safest bet to start is just sus if he's got a linkedin that is so normal to message someone on a linkedin like that would be my suggestion also is it is it strange that we are in a time now in society in our generation where if someone doesn't have social media that your first thought is like that's weird i feel like that's the place we've gotten to where it's like it's like i understand that people have social media and barely use it but it's weird that someone just doesn't even have it now and i'm not saying it's a red flag i disagree i think that we just work in an industry and we have been surrounded by people who are social media people like i definitely have friends who are school teachers

who work in really different occupations and mostly it's like they're in relationships but like i have friends who are school teachers being in long-term relationships and just have absolutely no need for social media they ended up closing it because they didn't want students to find them instead of doing like fake names or whatever they were like i don't use it anyway so they just got rid of it i think it depends on the employment it depends on the type of person depends on whether they ever got into it or not in the first place like yeah i don't know i don't think it's necessarily a red flag well he's definitely not in marketing but he doesn't have socials yeah what could what job could he be i don't know who cares he i what i would say is

it's not necessarily a red flag but it could be a red flag send us his name our team will find him we'll track him down yeah let's do it let's do you know what we'll do a call out you could also next episode we'll be like frank from marketing we're trying to find your email address because this chick really wants you okay we could do that thing you know how you like internet do your thing and we could find him and we don't have to say who the girl is looking for him but we could fuck it send us his details i just want to say one thing on that though when we said that she's gonna look insane if she gets his email from work if we do like a nationwide call out there's a very good chance he will think that you're insane so it's also a good chance they get laid or he might

be into it let's see okay last question should i tell my boyfriend he's essentially paying off my mortgage. Super fast. Super fast. Yeah. I just left that bit off. Not just paying it off. He's paying it off super fast. I bought my apartment five years ago for around 600K and I only have about 80K left on the mortgage. Well done. Can we just say that? That's amazing. Crazy. Yeah. My boyfriend is moving in and I want to split living costs fairly. Now, if we were renting together, he does know I own it, but if we were renting together, he'd be paying about $400 a week, which is half. So that is what I have asked him to contribute. The catch is my mortgage is interest only and only about $300 a month. Now she contributes extra just to pay it down, but her

only required payment is $300 a month. His contribution means I can pay off the apartment much faster without putting much in myself. I don't think it's unfair because he'd be paying the same amount if we were renting. And I don't think he should benefit just because I worked hard and got ahead financially before we met. I also haven't told him how little my mortgage actually is. What do I do? This is a really tricky one, but I want to take this as objectively as possible. I think that if the market value of him renting somewhere was going to be $400, if you wanted to be more generous to your partner, you're not going to charge them market value. You might charge them $300 a week, right? You might charge them slightly less, but he should be

contributing to the household regardless of whatever is the mortgage that's left on the house because realistically if you have a mortgage and you're only paying interest only you're not actually paying off the net amount so I think that if he's living there he has a responsibility to help with the mortgage also something else to be very aware of is that if you guys end up being in a long-term relationship like I'm talking years and years and years even with prenups it's very hard to say this asset is completely mine and you can never touch it it depends on how long you guys together it does become a very tricky gray area when one person owns more or has more and like I know that you can put prenups in place you can do all that but say you guys live together for two

years and you never put a prenup in place and you're living together you're in a de facto relationship so like I do think it's actually fine for you to be charging rent safeguard yourself in some ways have these conversations early I don't think you're doing anything wrong but I reckon that there should be some transparency not necessarily around how much you've paid off or anything, but just around like the gratitude that he's contributing to the mortgage and how that helps you and benefits, you know, the situation that you're in. Yeah, it's, I agree. It's, it's hard because on one hand, just saying, oh, like technically he doesn't need to be paying that. But on the other hand, he should be contributing something in some capacity. So

even if you went down the route of saying, look, the mortgage isn't that much, but instead of just getting off scot-free not paying anything let's pay what would be paying in rent into an account that we invest or that so that money should still be going somewhere somehow because it's as much as it's lovely that he benefits from you already purchasing the house you are not married yet you don't have kids yet you're not a family unit I understand that you're together and living together but fuck you have been the one grinding to get ahead and buy that house and that is like bravo that is really really hard to do and it shouldn't be up to him to come and live off you but then there is this tricky situation of then asking your partner for money when you don't

actually owe that debt so and I understand I think he should be paying I just understand why you were writing this I understand how you're feeling about it it's absolutely up to you when you become transparent about your finances to your partner like that is your decision he knows you own it but he doesn't know how much you owe that's fine until you decide you want to tell him and you're in that safe place because you I hate saying this you just don't know someone if you are guy early days and all of a sudden this person finds out that you own a house basically outright it might be the difference in them fighting for a piece of that in a year or two years time or not fighting for a piece of it you know what I mean like exactly what you said about being de facto

I think I feel a couple of things about this what you've just said around like combined putting in money for an investment I don't know if that solves the problem because that's money that you then equally own. So if you both go, okay, instead of you paying off or paying anything to me for the house, if we both put $400 each into an account and we reinvest that in other things, if you guys break up, that gets split 50-50. So you don't actually profit from that any more than he does. I genuinely think in this instance, you do have a mortgage, whether or not that's getting paid off faster or not, the mortgage is there, the debt exists. And if he's living in the house, he should be contributing to that debt. So I think if you want to give him a small discount

on what is market rate, you can say $300 a week, like I said earlier. And then when you do come to a place where the mortgage is paid off and you own the house, instead of not being transparent and just purely profiting off your partner, you can say to him, look, I'm in a really good spot now with the house. We don't need to pay as much money as what we were paying. I reckon we should drop it down to $100 or $150 or whatever that looks like. And let's invest the rest. totally like he's still a human living in your house in your space you're still paying for something that you have paid for you know in order to get yourself to this position and there is still I guess like you know the financial burden still falls on you so I don't

have any issue with that my only question is if this was reversed and if this was a situation that was happening to you and you found out that your partner and I'm talking more so when the house totally paid off if your partner fully owned a house he wasn't paying anything for that house but he was charging you rent for that house four hundred dollars a week and wasn't being transparent you would feel weird about it when that information came to light so i do think that there comes a point where you should be transparent but the reality is you're paying a mortgage so you're not lying about anything at the moment regardless of the speed but once the house is paid off and you own it i do think you should be transparent because it would be fucking weird not

to be. I would also personally, if one person owned the property outright, there was no mortgage to be paid on it and they were still asking you to pay. I would feel weird, but I would then be saying we still contribute the same amount and we do do it into an investment. We do it, do it into shares or managed funds or a compounding interest account or whatever it is. Like you still make good of that money. You're not engaged, not getting married. You don't need to prenup yet, but you can absolutely put contracts in place. And that seems crazy, but if you almost own a house outright. Just try and protect yourself. I actually think you have to. And I say this because it's a situation that happened to a friend of mine. She owned an apartment outright

and she was in a relationship with a guy for two and a half years. They lived together in the apartment. Actually, it was a bit longer than two and a half years, but they lived together in that apartment for two and a half years. And when they broke up because he had been cheating on her for over a year, he went to her for the apartment and they ended up in a legal battle because they were essentially de facto. And regardless of the fact that she'd pre-owned it, they hadn't signed anything. They hadn't agreed on anything. And so he was like, she's financially better off than I am. And I'm in a disadvantage now because I don't have a place to live. And so it turned into a legal battle. Luckily she was able to keep her apartment, but she did have to pay him. She ended

up paying him somewhat about $60,000, which she never should have paid him that because that should have been something that they mutually agreed on, put in writing beforehand. So I think it is okay to protect yourself if you have a partner moving into your house and I think that you shouldn't feel guilty about having them contribute to the mortgage even if that means you pay off your mortgage more quickly it's the whole point of it right like you have another person there living in the space they should help to contribute to pay off the mortgage I just think that like we've said we've said a couple times now once it's paid off I think that then there's probably more of a conversation around the optics of it and like you know how you better manage your

money together and like what is yours and what is his and what's combined actually cooked everyone go get a fucking contract right now it's just so unsexy isn't it when you're dating it's unsexy to be like can you sign this take sign this contract but and you know what and I'm gonna say this because I know we'll get people that write in I know we'll get lawyers that write to us they always do on a technicality sometimes those contracts still won't stand up when you take it to court like even if you've signed something sometimes you might come across a judge or somebody that's like man you still live together you still did this whatever but it's better to have protection than none absolutely and also like it might be unsexy it might make you feel awkward

it is a red flag if you own something like if you own a substantial amount of whatever it is houses investments whatever your finances are if you are substantially secure before going into a relationship and the person you're going into a relationship with thinks that it is like an insult or a threat or they interpret that in a negative way to me that's a red flag you can't control the future and it's not you putting a bad omen on the relationship or thinking negatively of it it is simply a necessity to protect yourself in the world also I was with someone for two years that had a double life that I did not know I promise you you may not fucking know the person that you are with you know what they say prepare for the worst and hope for the best yeah anyway

guys live life love and they say the apple never falls far from the tree and i risk it for the business it is it is that is it from us it is time to go if you have any questions for ask uncut send them in to us but also i want to repeat the sentiment from last week the facebook discussion group it's elite it is so good it is the fucking squeeze of the juice of the best everything just get in there you can anonymously post your questions we also take questions from the group as well it's called the life uncut facebook discussion group really hard to find very obvious name also if you have any other things to share with us voice notes that we said or like terrible dating stories we'll take anything you know the drill we'll take it we'll take the bottom

of the barrel let's also maybe get a family like lawyer on or something like that that could be a cool episode great that's a discussion for later no but like for you guys i'm just thinking like we just gave all this advice and we actually are not qualified so we will get somebody on hey remember to mum to dad to dog to your friends and share the love because we love love