Life Uncut - Ask Uncut: When Is Giving Your Number A Big NO, a $250K Fail & the Ex's Cat Who Won't Leave

Episode Date: August 30, 2026

Welcome back to Ask Uncut where we answer your deepest, darkest and most burning questions! This week the Facebook discussion group has well and truly been lit up over one story in particular. When is shooting your shot absolutely not okay? Britt and Laura go head-to-head with veeery different opinions on this one that might even change your own mind. Vibes of the week: Britt:The Scream Murders: A True Teen Horror Story on Disney+/Hulu  Laura: Instagram Trial Reels (yes really) Then it's into your questions! Q1: IS IT OKAY TO GIVE YOUR NUMBER TO SOMEONE ON A DATE? The story that broke the Facebook group. A Lifer sitting near a couple on a clearly bad date wants to know if slipping her number to the guy is out of line. Britt and Laura go head-to-head on the etiquette of shooting your shot. Q2: HE BLEW HIS $250K INHERITANCE ON A CAMPER VAN & NOW HE WANTS TO MOVE IN, UNEMPLOYED. A Lifer's boyfriend quit his job, ditched his apartment and torched a quarter-million-dollar inheritance travelling... and now he's back, broke, and wants to move into her place while collecting unemployment benefits. Is this a dealbreaker? Q3: MY HUSBAND WON'T SUPPORT MY CAREER CHANGE. After a decade in healthcare, a Lifer found her true passion and was ready to retrain. Her husband shut it down over money. Britt and Laura weigh in on when it's worth the pay cut to chase what actually fulfils you. Q4: MY BOYFRIEND'S EX STILL HAS STUFF AT HIS HOUSE (INCLUDING HER CAT). Months after the breakup, his ex's jewellery, clothes, mugs and yes her actual cat are still scattered through his house, and she still has a key. Is it fair to ask him to finally clear it out? Timestamps 00:00 – Welcome back & the Facebook group drama that turned off comments 07:45 – Vibes of the week: The Scream Murders true crime doco and how Insta Trial Reels can help your brand grow 15.04  – Q1: Is it ever okay to give your number to someone on a date? 23:21 – Q2: Boyfriend blew $250K on a camper van, wants to move in unemployed 34:02 – Q3: Husband won't support her career change after 10 years in healthcare 42:47 – Q4: Boyfriend's ex still has stuff at his place including her cat See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. Hi Brittany. And this is Ask Uncut. Where we answer your deep, you're dark and your burning questions. We got some burning questions today. They're not that burning.

Sorry. I mean, one has absolutely lit up the Facebook discussion group. Yeah, actually, it did light up the discussion group and the person had to put commenting off because... Which I hate, guys. No one should have to turn the commenting off in the discussion group. No, it should be an educated. You're allowed to have different. opinions. You're allowed to express your feelings. There was nothing wrong in the comments just that

everyone disagreed. And the only reason why you say this because you think of the other, you're on the other person's side. No, there were comments that were, I would be offended. People coming and going, you're supposed to be girls, girl, I'd probably turn off comments too. But like, it's not the end of the world. We will get to it. Okay. I actually cannot wait to unpack that one. That's just a little bread come for, a bread come. That's a, that's a come. That's a come. That's a come for you. That's exactly how I like my cum full of bread. You're actually rank. What is wrong with you?

So many things. You wonder why the headlines go off about you. You wonder why there's that headline about... Laura, Bachelor Star, Life's Come Full of Bread. Yes. You remember the story that was like Matthew Johnson masturbates at dinner party. That's why people think it because you like your coming bread. It's rank.

You're like, I don't know why people keep writing this stuff about me. It's because I don't care anymore. It really? You should. I absolutely should. I don't know when it happened. I don't know when the switch was flicked because I used to care. I used to think, oh, maybe edit that out because something will get written.

And now I'm like, whatever. If you're going to write it, write it. They actually barely write about you anymore. I know. I'm begging for them to write about me. I'm like, what can I talk about this week? You literally have to have a hemorrhoid pop to get an article anymore. It's scrimmed.

It's because it's crick. It's because now I say outrageous things and they're like, oh, that fucking bachelor's star again. that girl. They also do still call you the bachelor's that. It was 10 years ago. It's like you've never done anything else. I haven't though. I peaked way too early. It's the only important thing I've done with my life. Why don't they call you the dancing with the stars girl at a minimum? It was a reality show you did like five years, oh no, eight years later. Because I wasn't particularly good at that one. You made it to the second last episode. Yeah. You were not bad. You weren't great, but you weren't bad. That's true. Why don't

they call me dancing with the stars? Why don't they call me jungle girl? I don't know. They call you celebrity, Brittany Hockley. Why don't they call you? me, celebrity. Do they call you Bachelor Star Still? They don't write about me anymore. When we, okay. Ben, sorry, Ben said something the other day to me quickly. We were leaving their house and he was like, baby, baby, you're going to go out like that? There might be paparazzi. I was like, there's not paparazzi. There's really not. Like, no one cares about us anymore. This is in, uh, you would have seen it. If you listen to the podcast, this will come a zero surprise. There was a lovely article written about me declaring that I got hemorrhoids from the

loggies. And I'm not even mad about it. Shannon Hall, I think was the woman who wrote it. Good honor. I feel like that's a career highlight for Shannon. Shout out to the Hemorrhoids. People need to know about it. Shout out to Shan. Shout out to Shan. I do like to raise awareness on this podcast and that's one thing I'm proud of. What do you think I've raised awareness for? De-stigmatizing hemorrhoids. Chicken nuggets.

What have you read? Fetility and stuff. Hey, I'm actually good at stuff as well. Yeah. I do heaps of cool stuff. I do heaps of awareness. De-stigmatized ghosts. You've destigmatized hair extensions.

Not all heroes wear capes, Laura. You're out here fighting the hemorrhoid fight and I'm fighting the, Oh my God. Do you know, this is something just to have a giggle about. There's an Instagram out there. She's like an Australian influencer commentator. And someone had written into her being like, Laura and Brittany, they bicker. Rumor has it. They bicker. They don't like each other. And then she was, actually, she was really even handed. She spoke about it. She actually always is. Her whole whole page is quite even handed. And she was like, these girls are pretty much sisters. I'm sure they do bicker. And to that I want to say, I hate you. Do you know what? I'll actually fucking love you so much.

I know. I was like, what's your mouth out? I'll be a grab. No, someone sent it to me. That's how I originally saw it. They wrote in there. I said, Brittany and Laura apparently bicker on the podcast. I wonder what's happening, much like Lucy and Nikki from Happy Hour and also Steph Claire Smith and Laura Henshaw from Kick Podcasts. And I was like, all you guys have done is pick three women best friends and try to shit

on them like they're bitching with each other. I was like, this is actually based on nothing. You would never see people writing articles about apparently Hamish and Andy have been bickering. Like, you would never see it. Do you know why, though? Yeah, we want to see finding women. We know why. It's because we all hate each other. No, it's because what we do for a job is so, like, the fact that we can call this a job is a absolute laugh and a half. I work hard. I don't know what you do. It is a full-time job. I have everyone know. We get to sit in a room and, like, talk about whatever it is that we want to talk about. We can disagree with each

other. We know each other so well. We have done this for seven years. We are so day. Day in, day out, cross-continent. Evenings. We're so ingrained in each other's lives. We know so much about each other. And we are like sisters. We're able to take the piss out of each other and the other person doesn't walk away offended. And so I think. How boring if we sat down every day and we're like, I couldn't agree more. But you know what? The people who are still doing that on podcasts is because they haven't gotten to the jaded relationship. They haven't gotten to a place where they know each other intrinsically that they know where the line is when it comes to making fun and taking the piss out of the other person. You know what was like Britney and Laura Bickin? I was like, what's your point?

I was like, sorry. Okay, look, vibes and unsubscribes. Okay, my vibe is not going to come to a shock. Not going to come as a shock. My vibe is not going to come as a shock to anyone. So it is another true crime documentary. It is a three-part documentary on Hulu, but Hulu is also Disney. So Disney Plus.

Yeah. And so it's called The Scream Murder, a true teen horror story. Oh, I don't know if I like that. It's very confronting. It is just, it's, it is what it is. It's like a murder based on the Scream movies. It's these two teenagers in America, Idaho, that decided to kill their school friend in this like really crazy way. But it follows the documentary, follows the case.

Then it fasts forward to interviews with them now as grown men. So they were 16, 17, 17 at the time. And now they're in their 30s or early 40s. They're still in prison. And it goes and speaks to them now after all this time. It's absolutely horrifying, but it was interesting to go and hear from later in life. When you say it, you mean like the scream movie that was like the crazy horror film that we've all seen like in our late teens. So they're these kids that were two kids that were obsessed with horror films, like obsessed.

And then they decided to make their own film. It's really crazy. And they recorded, I guess it's interesting. interesting because they recorded themselves doing everything, not the actual crime, but talking to the camera in the lead up, talking as soon as it had happened. So it was, I mean, it was a no brain that they were going to be convicted. They just had all of this evidence, but flashing forward to them now, because I think it was in 2006. It was quite a lot, yeah, 2006, quite a long time ago. If you like true crime, that's it. That is a really, really terrifying reality of the creation of horror

films, isn't it? It's kind of like the thing that whoever's making them, whoever's directing them, creating them, conceptualizing them, you would never want to think that you could possibly be responsible for putting an idea into someone's head as to how to enact a crime like this. I mean, and I know that for so many of us, I remember scream coming out and I remember watching it at a birthday party, like a sleepover birthday party. It was petrifying. And I was terrified, absolutely terrified. But to think that someone watched that became fascinated with the, because like there was quite a few horror movies around that era that came out at the same time. But to think that someone became so fascinated by that genre that then they went and did it

themselves, that's like, it's incomprehensible, but it also is one of those things where you're like, of course that was going to happen. I was saying to Ben, like the odds of a 16 year old watching horror films and saying, I'm going to play this out, I'm going to make my own film and kill someone. But then them openly voicing that opinion and that desire to another friend and the likelihood of that friend also being like, let's, a good idea. Yeah, I was like, what are the odds that You have found two people because most 16-year-olds, if someone's like, let's plan to murder our schoolmate and film the whole thing, most of them would be like, you're a psycho. I'm going to dob you in. I think in those instances, it's one of those situations where it's like a slow creep.

Like, they've probably done things and they've been impressionable on each other for quite a while. And so, like, the boundaries have been tested and you start to realize actually maybe I can push this boundary further. And there might be one person who's the instigator, but I think it is something that happens over a long time of grooming and, and, and, you know, It's sort of what happened. Look, I don't have anything that is anywhere near that hectic. This is more of a business kind of discovery, I guess. It's not a hot tag. No one who works in the world of social media is going to be like,

wow, what a discovery. But it has been something that I've started using, and it makes a huge difference. So just to set this up, recently, I was scrolling on Instagram, and I looked at it and I was like, ha, ha, ha, ha, funny, funny. Did it really? Bluff, laugh, laugh, laugh. Live, live, live, live, love, love.

Didn't engage with it, but I was like, oh, interesting that that's popped up in my feed. It wasn't really the type. It was similar to the type of content I will sometimes get fed, but I'd never seen this comedian before. And then I saw the caption in the reel. And the real caption was, if you are seeing this, you're seeing it because you don't follow me. If you want to see more videos like this follow along. And I was like, that's weird. It came up like it was an ad. Anyway, it turns out it was a trial reel that this person was running. Are you vibing trials? No, I'm vibing it from a business perspective. I know that this is like I'm saying, it's not a hot take because people know what trial reels are.

Look, if you don't know what a trial reel on Instagram is, but you run a business page, that's why I want to describe this for you. So a trial reel is something that you can post to obviously trial content before it goes to your own audience. So think of it like a top of funnel when it comes to marketing. You are sending out that video only to new audiences, only to people who don't follow you.

The reason why I want to recommend this is because, and this is very much for people who either work on social media or have a business page. What this comedian did that was really fucking smart and savvy is putting in the caption, if you don't follow me, follow me because you'll see more things like this. You know, join my community. There was a call to action. I've done trial reels in the past and they've never done anything.

They don't shift the dial at all, really. Most of them flop. They flop. Yeah. I've done trial reels with Tony May. They've done nothing. I have started doing trial reels and testing this since seeing this comedian in the last couple of weeks.

In the last two days, I've done two trial reels. Both of them with the call to action, which is like, if you're seeing this real, it's because you don't follow me, hit follow, this is the type of content I create. A slightly savier caption than that, but that's pretty much the caption. My Instagram has grown 700. Was that for your hammer? Really? No. Like, if you want to see more of this.

One of them was around Matt snoring, and the other one was just like a piece to camera and me telling a story about something that Lola said to me. But it really works. Like my social media following grew 700 in two days, which is really like quite good growth for an older account. I then repeated this on Tony May and I started doing the same tactic for Tony May trial reels and posting content and being like, you know, once again, if you don't follow us, this is what we do. And we've seen the exact same thing for Tony May. So I wanted to talk about

this because I was like, if you're a business, this is such a smart feature and strategy that you could use on your social media accounts that aren't just about testing content. It is an easy way for you to grow your top of funnel, for you to grow new audience and to have a very clear call to action to get people to convert to your page. That's interesting because I, maybe I'll start to do it with call to action. I posted so many trial reels. It doesn't work for me. Like I get a few followers, maybe like drip feeding, but nothing where I'd be like, wow, people are posting three to four trial reels a day. Like people are like wanting 50 reels might go off. It's not a secret source. It's not going to work for everything. But I do think that the little hidden gem in this lesson for me was having a really

clear call to action. People want to be spoon fed. You see something that you like and, you know, at the start or the end? I put it at the very first thing. The caption is boring and it's a bit clunky. Don't get me wrong. It literally is. If you are seeing this, it's because you don't follow me. So hit follow. Like, it is that obvious. And it genuinely works. And I think from a business perspective, if you're working your fucking ass off to try and grow your social media, any small tips and tricks that can help, let me know if it works for you. Give it a crack. Love that. Love it. What you watch my call to action. Go bomb. Because if you don't know me, here I am.

Here I am. Here follow. All right, guys, let's get into your questions. Question number one. Now, this is the one that we are going to lovingly disagree on. But here goes. Okay, I need opinions because I genuinely cannot decide if I missed an opportunity yesterday. I was at a coffee shop on the north side of Brisbane with my two tiny humans from morning tea.

Just having a coffee, coloring in. There was a couple sitting nearby who were clearly. on a first date because the place is tiny, you could accidentally hear pretty much their entire conversation. So I know exactly what they were talking about. Anyway, the vibe was giving that this date is not going particularly well. He didn't seem that interested. And we did catch each other's eye once or twice during their date. Now here comes my dilemma. Is it wrong to shoot your shot when you can clearly see someone's date isn't going well? Because part of me thinks if there's mutual eye contact and you're interested, well, why not? You're not forcing anything. You were just giving someone the

option. I was thinking I could have done the whole, oh, hey, I think that you left your coffee card behind and casually slipped him my number. The girls who work at the coffee shop know me, and they were actually having a giggle with me about the whole situation as I was leaving, which has now left me thinking, should I have done it? Would you shoot your shot in this situation? Or is that absolutely off limits when someone is technically still on a first date? This, went off in the discussion group. Like this was overwhelmingly, people were saying absolutely do not do that.

You cannot do that. Have some respect. You should be a girl's girl. It got people fired up. People were unequivocally like you absolutely should never do that. And she did turn her comments off, which I hate that she had to do that. What I will say is,

Brittany's on your team, so don't worry. Leave those comments firing because Britney's here. You know that my favorite quote is shoot your shot, right? at anything in life. Shoot your shot with a job, shoot your shot with a person, shoot your shot with whatever it is. Because all you can get is a no, and at least you've tried. In this situation, I want to be clear.

There's two rules for me. One, I would have said, yes, you should have shot your shot, but you cannot shoot your shot while they are still there and sitting on the date. And this is where I want to be clear. It is absolutely disrespectful to walk up and give you a number when someone is on a date. But I think that there is absolutely nothing wrong with if you know there were some moments going on, you know we've all been next to somebody

that's on a first date. When you're in a little restaurant and it's close, sometimes you hear the whole thing. You're not meaning to, but if they're next to you, and you can tell it's a first date. You can tell by the line of questioning. You can tell with the answers. You can tell if someone's into it or not. You got the vibe, but he wasn't. You can absolutely, if you were giggling with the waitresses and they know what it was about, you can write your name and number on a card and say, if the moment comes at the end when it's over, when the date is over, they're saying their goodbyes, maybe she's gone, maybe he's pain, you can absolutely say, hey, this was from that woman and that's it. If he's interested, he'll call you. If he's not, you've got nothing to lose.

It's not disrespectful because she doesn't know. Okay, I agree with that. I think that is the most respectful way of doing it. Thank goodness you came through with the goods. Because when you were like, I always come through the goods. When you were like, I think this is fine. I was like, oh God, we're on such different planets. I think if you were to go up, mid-date because you have seen or gotten the vibe that their date's not going well and then being like, hey, here's the coffee card that you dropped with your number written on it. You can't do that. No, I agree.

I would never. No, it's not naughty. That is hands-down disrespectful. It's also really, like, it's open to interpretation as to whether the date's going well or not. She might think the date's going really well. We've all been in that situation. There's a lot of us don't have good self-awareness.

Like, I reckon I've been in that situation before where I thought it was going to And they never call. You're like, what do you mean? Like, you obviously picked up a vibe from him. He was looking at you. Like, that's all great. But I think it's a bit far to make an assumption that she didn't think the same, like, she thought the same things.

But it's also irrelevant what she thinks. I know. She's not giving the number to the girl. She's giving it to the guy. You know, the reason I think it's okay is because if the woman, if it's not rude and disrespectful, the woman never knows about it. There is a chance that that guy never sees that girl again. Like, I have been on that many first dates.

our friends that are single are on first dates every week. It doesn't go anywhere. They've been on, they have been on dates that are the most horrific dates that if there was somebody amazing next to them that could be somebody great and you miss that opportunity. The other thing I want to say is, and I hope I'm changing some of your minds in the discussion group, I hope you're big enough people to be like, maybe Brittany is, maybe Brittany is Gandhi. Maybe she does know everything. Or maybe they'll be like, Britt, you're wrong. Which also happens sometimes, God. We get it. This woman. This woman. this life are, has two little children.

It will be so hard for her to meet people, so hard for her to have opportunities. If there is a moment that the universe has presented to her, and you know I froth the universe. The universe is not presenting a guy on another date. That's not the presentation. Sorry, sits next to her, dates going badly, he's making eye contact, she's vibing it, she happened to be there at the same time. That's universe. I think that's looking for a sign where a sign doesn't exist.

I am the queen of looking for signs. Sometimes we, I paint my own. ain't my own. I found the sign. I brought it along with me. I have a couple of feelings about it. I think that the way that you described it is the most respectful way to go about cutting someone else's grass. But I think about this if it was reversed. If I was on a date with a guy, even if I wasn't that into the guy, even if the date wasn't going well, and another guy came up mid-date interrupted him and was like, hey, here's my number. I just think that there's something unkind about it. So I think it's in the delivery. And that's probably why people in the

discussion group and in the comment section was like, whoa, absolutely no, you did not do the wrong thing. You should not have shot your shot because I think it was the way that it was described. I think saying should I have gone and given the coffee card and interrupted the date, that got a few people offside. And I understand why it got people offside because it's really hard going on first dates. It's really hard putting yourself out there. And it's not even just that. It's just rude. But like, yes, it is rude, but it's like, you don't know where everyone in that environment is at either. Like, it could have taken someone quite a bit of confidence to try and, like, build up the confidence to go and sit on this first date with this guy. They might just be getting back into the dating game to have someone come along and be like, fuck that off.

He's my, she's going to know what you're doing. She's going to put two and two together. He's not going to be like, oh, thank. Oh, my coffee card. Oh, wow. And put straight in his pocket. He's going to be like, oh, what the fuck? And look, see your number.

Anyway, it just seems like an unnecessarily dangerous way to go about it that felt quite unkind. So I think yes and no at the same time. Well, that's what I'm saying. No one in their right mind, I would imagine, is going up when someone is in the date and saying, sorry to interrupt. It's like when you're on The Bachelor, the only place you can do that is The Bachelor. Sorry to interrupt. That was the vein of my existence.

But like, I overheard and this doesn't seem to be going well. Here's my number. I would shoot my shot at the end. I would have said, hey, to the waitresses, I would not have interrupted them. If the opportunity arises, can you say that this was from the girl? He'll know who I am. I would do that for sure. I'm the kind of person that would think about that for a long time.

Shooting a shot? If I didn't. If I really thought there was a moment, I was really attracted to him, it was so evident that that was not going to work. I would think about that for days, maybe weeks, maybe years. You're still thinking about that guy. I'm still thinking about that guy from Amsterdam. I would, yeah, I would be thinking about it and be like, man, And why didn't, who knows what that could have been?

He might just be flattered. You never hear from him because in fact, you had food on your face and that's why he was looking at you. Maybe there wasn't a sign, but what if there was? And that's my motto. Okay. Shoot your shot. Just do it kindly.

If I changed anyone's minds, let me know. Welcome to the club. All right. Question number two. This one pissed me right off. My boyfriend of four years is so irresponsible with money. Twelve months ago, he got a $250,000 inheritance. I suggested he invest.

it, but instead he quit his job, gave up his apartment and bought a camper van to hit the road and travel. We maintain contact daily while he was away, and no doubt that the love and the trust was always there. Meanwhile, I'm back home, I own my own home, I work hard, I earn a good wage, and whilst I would love to give it all up and travel with him too, it's just not where I want to be right now. I want to continue to build wealth for my future. Anyway, his comeback and his comeback broke. So he turned through 250K in his camper van in 12 months. Wow. So now he's back. How is that even possible? Dude, I don't know. How is it? You're living in a camper van. I mean, he can do what he wants, right? At the end of the day, it's his inheritance. It's his money.

But when you're in a relationship, it's this next part. Now he's back. He wants to come and live with me gilds me into thinking that living in his van outside my house on unemployment benefits doesn't suit his image and I should just let him live with me. My girlfriend's tell me that I'm crazy if I let him. I'm putting everything I work hard for at risk. He's also not going to go back to work he's decided because he loves his lazy, laid back life. But breaking up with him isn't what I want. Help. I think that this is an enormous red flag for multiple reasons. Firstly, the most basic and obvious one is the fact that you have very different money languages. The way that you care about money, the way that you feel about money is something that's going

to be really hard for you to both reconcile. I think you do have to be on some relatively similar pages with money when you're in a relationship. Otherwise, that's going to build resentment. There's like a statistic that was done quite a while ago. I think I drag it out once a year. And it's like the first reason that people break up in relationships is cheating. The second biggest reason is because of money. Yeah, that is an annual statistic.

It's time to wheel it on out. But it's true, right? You cannot have such different money languages and such different perspectives towards money. The other part of this is I would not be moving in with anyone just because they think it suits their lifestyle and they're ready for it because they have no money left because they spent it all. You move in with someone when you're ready for the relationship to be at that point or it's because it suits both of you. The fact that you don't want this, don't allow him to badger you into it or feel guilty or any of those things. He's made the decisions that he's made for his life. You can make

the decisions that you want for your life. And if he likes you enough and you guys like each other enough, you will be able to continue to date. You don't have to live with each other. And you do not have a responsibility to pick up the pieces because he's chosen to live his life in a certain way. I'd be kicking this guy out to the curb. You'd be breaking up with him. I would be leaving him on the curb because that's where his camper van is parked.

Leave him on the curb. For me, there is no bigger ick or turnoff than somebody that has absolutely zero drive and zero desire, not even drive, zero desire to work. Someone that is actively saying, I don't want to. to get a job. I want to be on unemployment benefits. It's a different thing when you're trying to get a job and you're on unemployment benefits because you're in a hard time or you've hit a crisis. That's different. Someone that is literally saying, I'm choosing and I'm telling you that I have no desire for financial security in the future unless it's on you. Also, it shows you that he has,

he's not smart with money at all, right? He's got no financial intelligence. And I say that because he absolutely could have taken a year off and traveled in a camper van. and invested three quarters of that money. He could have done both of those things. I do not know how he has churned through $250,000 a year in a camper van. I don't know if it's just financial literacy because, you know, I don't want to assume that if he had more information, he would do better with his money.

I actually think that this is, you know, some people are just not money motivated. They don't care about money. They don't care about work. You know, he's said he's got this like laid back lazy lifestyle. And that's what he loves about himself. That's fine if he wants to do that for himself. I'm not going to criticize or say what my preferences are in someone, you know, in terms of

ambition and drive and everything else. But I don't think that those two things mesh together. If you are someone who is ambitious and driven and you care about generating wealth for your own future, you are going to become so resentful having to share that with someone who doesn't care. And he also doesn't care about what impact it has on you at all because he's lived his life for 12 months. You've said that you would go holidaying if you could, but you don't feel like you can because you're in a different headspace. Because you're, you're having intelligence, you've got a head on your shoulder. But the thing is he knows that. He knows that you're a fallback plan. He can do whatever the fuck he wants because you're there with your career and your

money and your drive and your ambition and you're going to support him. And that's what he expects. Yeah, I'm not often so blunt with my responses on Ask Uncut. And we, I very rarely will say he's not right for you, she's not right for you, break up. I very rarely. And I know you said, breaking up with him isn't what I want and I understand that. You love this man. I really want you to think about your future because how are you going to have kids? How are you going to get a mortgage? How are you going to do anything if he's on unemployment benefits? If he doesn't even want to do the bare minimum to help you. Yeah, it's going to drive you fucking insane. Oh, you will hate him. You will develop a deep hatred for him because you will be working

to the bone and paying for everything. You will be having the kids if you choose to go down that path. You will be doing three quarters of the parenting. It is not compatible with a relationship, I don't think. If you are wanting to work and have a somewhat normal life with some of life's luxuries, you will never have that. You will never have anything if your partner cannot be fucked working because he's too lazy. For me, it's actually overwhelmingly I would be either saying to that guy, this isn't going to work for me. Like we have different plans for the future and trying to see where he goes with that. Does he have any plan to get a job?

Or is it like he wants another two months off? Because you make it sound like he's had a taste of the good life. And I also think someone like that doesn't value money. He's happy now and he realizes how good life is because he had it. But he had $250,000 handed to him on a platter. Maybe this makes me furious because I feel like he has no idea how much that would mean to other people and how much that would be life changing for them and what they could do with it. And he can do what he wants with his money.

But if he's not coming back to you and saying, fuck, that was the best year of my life. Let's get on to it. Like, let's start working and planning for our future. If he's come back and said, can I just live with you and be a grift off because I don't want to work anymore because I've had a taste of the good life? Not for me.

Yeah, I know. And I agree with everything you've said. I also hate being like, you should break up with him. I do think your girlfriends are telling you that you're crazy for a reason. It is a crazy situation that you're in. I would not allow him to badger you into letting him move in. You've said no. You've said you're not comfortable with it.

The fact that he's not accepting that because it doesn't suit what he wants and his lifestyle shows that he has a pretty minimal regard for what's important to you. I think you need to be, if you don't want to break up with him, that's okay. We can tell you what we think, but we can't make you do anything. You've been together for four years. You've also just done 12 months of long distance. You probably are hoping that things are going to change. You need to come to the epiphany yourself.

but in the meantime, what you do need to do is you need to be very firm on the things that you are choosing for yourself. Because he made decisions for himself. He made 12 months of decisions for himself that completely benefited only him. Didn't benefit your relationship, didn't benefit your future, didn't benefit anything that you're working towards together. It only benefited him. So I think you are entitled to make a decision that benefits you. And if that means you don't want to live together, I can completely understand why. Don't allow him to make you feel guilty for that. So I think tell him that he has to continue to live in his van, until he can prove that he is able to have some sort of, I guess, ability to support himself,

interest in supporting himself, don't take on the responsibility of him because he is just a giant man child. And if it doesn't suit his image, then he needs to be able to be financially responsible and pay for the image that he wants. Yeah, agree. I agree. I know. And I love that you're fired up about it because I, you know, reading the last part of that, breaking up with him isn't what I want. Which I understand.

I get it. If you're not ready to break up with someone, sometimes it's really hard to see the realities of the situation that you're in, you know? And it probably feels like you've done four years. It's a waste. But you are on such different pages right now. And Bree, you are so correct in saying like when you think about building a future with someone, if you do want kids, if you do want a.

future and a family. Like if that's what you want in terms of like having kids might not be on the cards for you. That's totally fine. But if they are, you cannot have kids with this man. Like, you just can't do it. But even if kids aren't on the cards, life is so expensive. Rent, trying to get in the property market. If you, if you ever have a mortgage, if you have bills, you're never going to go on holiday. He's not, he's not paying bills and saving up to go on a holiday on unemployment benefits. Yeah. You just want different lives, don't you? Yeah, well, you value it differently. And again, it's okay people don't have the drive, but you've still going to want to have the will to work and support a family and, like, build a life together. And he doesn't seem to have that.

And so I'm not telling you, I don't want you to be like, wow, Britney said break up with him. I'm not saying that I wouldn't be able to be with somebody that literally said to me, decided I'm never going to work and I'm going to stay on the doll. For me, I want more from life and I want to feel comfortable putting food on my table and a roof over my head. And if you lose your job, heavens forbid, then what happens? Like you don't have, A partnership is supposed to be there to pick each other up and have each other's back. And finances, unfortunately, will consume your relationship as you move through life. Because especially in Australia, we live in such an expensive country.

So I would just be having the conversation. Do not let him move in with you because you don't want to. You don't have to break out with him. But just let him know that you are worried that you're going in different directions because you really want to start saving for a future. And all the things I just said, so you're worried about that. What happens if I lose my job? How are we ever going to go on a holiday?

How are we ever going to have kids? Have those conversations and see what his response is. I just think, and I worry in the future, this is going to get very old, very quickly. All right. Next question. Also work related. Okay, here we go. My husband doesn't support a career change. Now, I've worked in the healthcare industry for 10 years following tertiary study, and half of that time has been spent wanting a career change, specifically into teaching. In 2025, I was accepted to study education and accelerated course, but I declined the offer because my husband discouraged me. Now's not a good time with young children.

What if you waste your money on another degree that you don't enjoy? It won't pay as good as what you're on now. His logical brain outweighed my personal passion and priorities. I have found a deep love and purpose in spending time with young children since having children of my own, and I am strongly drawn to becoming a teacher. I am really frustrated that my husband is not more supportive of this. I wish I'd gone through with the previous offer,

as I'd soon be fully qualified already if I did it. I understand his reservations but ultimately want his support before I commit to a change. For context, we are in a fortunate position where I would be able to return to studying without significant financial strain or change to our family dynamic. What would you do? This makes me sad a little bit. This makes me sad because you should absolutely be able to go after your dream and after 10 years working in an industry that you've lost your passion for.

and you know you're lucky enough to know what your passion is because some people go through their whole life not really knowing what they're supposed to be doing or what they want to be doing like they go to jobs they like but it's not what they feel their sole purpose is. You've figured that out and you didn't have the support from the one person that should support you. I'm really big on career changes. Like I've done multiple career changes and I think it's really important. Where it gets tricky is if it's going to have a big impact on your financials or your children's care or your family dynamic, it is a much harder conversation that you have with a partner

where it's like, I want this for you. It's a compromise. I don't think we can do it now for such and such and such. But in this instance, you were like, we absolutely could have done this. It won't affect our family dynamic and we have the finances. I could have absolutely done it and I would have been finished. I always say time is going to pass anyway. So you may as well do the thing you want if you have the ability to.

I would go after your dream for sure. And maybe you need to be a bit more firm with your husband and say, I'm really unhappy at work. This is what I want to do. Show him how it's not going to change much. And just say, your support means a lot to me. Like, I'm not going to be able to get through this without you, but I am going to do it. I absolutely agree. I think that you have to do this.

This is something that in life, there are a few things that come up where when you know in your bones that something is how it's meant to be and it's what you want to do, you are allowed to pursue it. And yes, you're in a relationship and there's always going to be compromises in your relationship, but there are times where you can pursue things, even if they are not deeply endorsed by your partner, right? Like, it is okay to still do things that your partner says, I don't know about that. I'm not, you know, I'm not 100% behind that. If you are 100% behind it, it's okay for you to say, hey, I know that you're trying to discourage this, but I really want this for myself. And so I'm going to pursue it and I need you to get on board. What can I do and what can we do together to get you on board with this because it's going to happen and I want this. And I say this because

Matt and I have had quite a few of these instances come up over the years. You know, we've been together for 10 years now. And obviously we have three kids. We both work a hell of a lot. But we have both had work things that have come up that the other person has not been happy about, has not been fully encouraging of, but we have made the decision, okay, you're going to go ahead and do it. One of them was, I'm a celebrity, get me out of here. I did not want Matt to do. I'm a celebrity. I thought it was a fucking terrible. idea. I didn't want him to go away for six weeks and leave me with the kids. And, you know, and I was like, I'm losing my support. I'm losing the person that I'd parent with. And, you know, not only am I losing the person I parent with, like, we were in the middle of a

renovation as well, of a house that we both had, you know, it was a lot. It was crazy time. It was a crazy, crazy time of both of our lives. Also, then I found out I was pregnant. That was a whole other layer. But it was a very, very busy time of life where more work had been kind of piled on top. And then this opportunity came up. And so when it happened, I was like, I don't want you to do it. And that was the one who said to me, do you know what? This is one that I am going to do. I want to do it. I've always wanted to do it. And I need you to get on board. And I did get on board. You know, time passes and sometimes things that you felt passionately about, you kind of just like, you don't feel as passionately about them once time passes. You know, in the flip side to that, us doing after the dinner party,

I just had Poppy. She was four months old. Matt was like, this is a terrible time. for you to take on another job. Why do you want to host a TV show? Like, you've got enough. You do the podcast and Tony May and everything else. And I was like, in response to that, I was like, this is what I want to do. This is my celebrity. Yeah. And I was like, I'm going to do this. I know you're telling me you don't want me to do it. I'm going to do it. Either get on board or it's going to make it harder. And I think we are very good at navigating these periods of work flux where the other person isn't super excited about it. And the reality is, is this is going to be a little period where maybe it's not what he wants because he probably doesn't like change and it probably does feel like

it's going to have a far greater impact than what it's going to be. But often when you're in it and you're actually doing it, you realize it wasn't as hard as what I thought it was going to be. So I would very much continue to say that if you know that this is your passion, it's something that you want to pursue, unless your husband has very clear and very reasonable, like reasons as to why you shouldn't do it and you can't do it together, then I would say it's okay to prioritize yourself. Yeah, and it's the quotes from him, you know, now it's not a good time with young children. What if you waste your money on another degree that you don't enjoy, it won't pay as good as what you're on now. You might start the degree and work out that it's not for you, but there's only one way to find out.

You might start the degree and be like, thank God I had this change in my career because this is my dream. In terms of it, it won't pay as well as what you're on now. Now, this depends on the disparity between the pay. that. No, that's what I'm saying. I understand it, but I think it depends on the disparity. Are you talking hundreds of thousands dollars? Are you talking $10,000? What does it look like? Because I believe, personally, and maybe this is a really lucky way to look at it, I would always take a slightly less paying job if I knew I was going to be so happy than a job that paid slightly more that just sucked my soul out. You spend so much time at work. And not many people get that. But,

choice but you are spending hopeful like most people five days a week minimum eight nine hours a day at work a small sacrifice if you are financially stable already as a family which you've said you are so i just don't like the idea of like it won't pay you as well unless you were talking like a huge difference i know i do get this though like i mean teachers are so underpaid in this country like you know if you're a teacher out there you're amazing you're doing god's work genuinely like we as parents are so grateful for you but teachers are are chronically underpaid. And so I do understand why he has reservations. When you have little kids, if you've worked out your joint finances, you've got mortgages, you've got all these outgoings and

stuff, if you've worked out what works for you and your family based on your current income, knowing that one person's going to pursue a passion, which means that forever they're going to earn less income, I understand where the reservation comes from. I understand it. So I don't want to vilify your husband by saying like, you know, he doesn't have a right to say these things. But What I think he probably isn't understanding is how deeply unhappy you are and how much you are positive this is your purpose. And I think that it's a communication thing over one person's in the right or one person's in the wrong. I go back to the situation with Matt and I, once I understood how much he wanted to go and do I'm a celebrity, of course I supported him. And once he understood

how much I wanted to host in TV, of course he supported me. But it's like sometimes it's the, it's the explainer that is required. It's more communication around it that's required. It's also that's both of those situations with you and Matt had a huge impact on your partner, huge, on like the other person. Absolutely. Like massive. She's saying that this doesn't have massive financial strain and doesn't change our family dynamic play on.

I'm sure it will change things a little bit. I'm sure it'll have some sort of family dynamic shift because like when you're studying and you're still working full time, of course, you're adding more to your plate. But it's, it's a short duration. And if you can do an accelerated course and you can do it in the evenings and work around it, I think that don't not pursue a passion in life because you're worried about what necessarily the outcome will be. Last question.

My boyfriend still has stuff at his house from his last ex. My boyfriend broke up with his ex of three years late last year. We met about six months ago and had been serious for about four to five months. It was an instant when you know you know. But I can't help think I came into his life maybe a little too soon. His house still has remnants of his ex everywhere. Until recently, it included her clothes, her furniture. She would still call him for advice.

She would vent to him. She would call him when she needs consoling. I expressed my concern over this, and he acknowledged and action to this concern, asking her to move more of her stuff out. But there are still little things here and there, like jewelry in a cupboard, makeup in a drawer, a mugs and books, bits and pieces that she's just never taken with her, including a real-life cat. I've just found out she still has keys to the house as well.

They are in the same friendship group, so he wants to keep, quote, the peace. And I do trust him, but it upsets me to have reminders of his ex. Do you think that this is something that I should bring up because it makes me so uncomfortable? It's so, okay, I read this and I was like, I understand why you feel uncomfortable, and I feel as though we could demonize the boyfriend, but actually just don't think he's done anything that wrong in this instance. You brought up that you were concerned about it. he told her straight away. He got more of her stuff out of the house. I do think that there is obviously

a lot of proximity that's happening here. I mean, sounds like they were only broken up for maybe a month or two when you guys got together. So like she'd just moved out. She'd left shit at the house. Of course, as a new girlfriend, that's going to make you feel a bit weird, but that's not his fault. Like, that's just so happened that you met so close in time. I would say if there are obvious things at the house that you can see and touch that are hers, bring it up with him. get a box, put them in a box. Maybe not the cat, but everything else put it in a box. Absolutely do not put the cat in a box.

Put it in a garage or put it away. Strip the house of things that are hurt. And you can say to him like, hey, I don't want to sound like I'm being overbearing, but we've been together for six months now. I just don't want reminders of your ex-girlfriend here. Can I please, can you please put them into a box and we can put them in the garage? If she wants to come get them, she can come get them. I'm sure he can do that.

The keys, though, is absolutely one that are your kind of. bring up. Yeah. Yeah. The keys need to be solved. Unless she owns the house. Like, was it of joint mortgage? No, but like, okay, if you found out that Ben's ex still had keys to his house, would you

not be like, fucking get the keys back? So, let me tell you a story. Let me tell you a little tale. No, the first thing I thought of, and this is not, absolutely not what's happened. I think that this is fine, this situation, and I'll get to it. But the first thing I thought of when you were like, there's little things around the house, like some makeup here. No, don't.

You're not going to say your, you're, dude, no. My psycho ex that lived a double life. No. That is exactly, exactly. He would have some clothes of hers. He would have some makeup with the drawer. He would have mugs, vases, tidbits. And whenever I'd say, why is her stuff still here?

He's like, I'm just storing it for her. Like, I don't know. Is it a big deal? And it was because they still part-time lived together. Like, her stuff was still there because she was still with him. That's not what is happening here. But that's the first thing I was like, oh my God, jewelry, furniture, everything, clothes, makeup. I have a few questions, though.

I agree with you what you're saying because it's like, she's in the same friendship group. Yeah. Have you met her? Have you met her? Are you in that friendship group now? You guys have been dating for six months. That's definitely time for you to have met the friends and to have been included in things. I don't want to put a question mark over the fidelity of the relationship by any means.

That's not what I'm doing. That also wasn't what I was doing. I was just taking a walk down memory laying. I also do think it's, I don't want to say normal, but it's not abnormal when you split and move out that some stuff stays at the house. It's abnormal to keep it there. Like, people leave their stuff when they break up, right? Especially if there's a little bits. She's not coming back for some moisturiser.

She's not coming back for a mug. Why is he keeping it there? Like, he doesn't need it. And if you say to him, I don't need these reminders or want these reminders that you had this whole life with a woman here recently, that should be enough. He should be like, let's collect it. Let's get rid of it. Like, this can all go.

That should be his response. I don't know why you've brought it up and there's still stuff around the house. I don't necessarily think that it is a sign that he's trying to hold on to his moisturiser because he feels connected to her. I think it's laziness. I think some dudes and also some girls, but I think people are lazy. It takes time to go through and properly back. Take her cat.

Why doesn't she take her animal? That's fucking weird. It's fucking weird. That's fucking weird. The cat's weird. Unless it's a joint cat and now he owns it. But if it's her cat and she's like, see you. Yeah, after six months, take your cat back.

100%. That's strange. Okay, so I would say though that a lot of people are quite lazy and it's just easy. Like, it doesn't bother him. He's not triggered by seeing her stuff clearly. He doesn't care. So he... Well, he needs to care.

Yeah, and that's the thing. Now that you've raised what an issue it is for you, it should be an issue for him. He should care. enough. But it sounds like he did try and like, you know, he asked her to come over and get the rest of a stuff and whatnot. No, because it's annoying. Hear me out. It's annoying when you go through a breakup with someone. They move out and they don't take their stuff. And then you are left sorting through boxes, cleaning out drawers, packing things that you shouldn't have to pack, throwing out their rubbish, organizing council cleanups. It's annoying. And so I understand. Yes, it is personal.

Okay. It's personal. It's personal. It's very annoying when you get shafted with a job because the person who moved out had the easier job of just taking what they wanted and leaving all the things that they considered rubbish. So what I'm trying to say is I'm trying to play devil's advocate and be like, I'm giving him a bit of grace because that can be a very full on arduous job to do the full clean out and the cleanse of the house if they live together for a long time. But you've raised it. You shouldn't have to keep raising it. And you're also not crazy if you want to raise it again. So raise it and definitely get the fucking keys back. I'm giving him grace as well, but he's had grace.

He's had seven, eight, nine months. The cat's weird. No, but you've had long enough. And as much as you're like, I shouldn't have to clean out the drawer, you've still got to. Like, she's not coming back for it. And you have a new partner that you need to respect. Your partner does not need to walk around the house and see your exas shit everywhere. But what about the cat?

I'm sorry, we need to talk about the cat. Why is the cat there? I'm thinking that she, I don't think she's neglected her animal. I'm assuming she's probably had to move. She's the one that's moved out. She's moved into an apartment that can't have animals. She's moved into somewhere that doesn't have. animals and he's doing her a solid. That one, I think you need to let slide a little bit.

Animals are a bit tricky with breakups. And as long as the animal has somewhere, you might, you might need to figure that out and ask him, why is the cat still here? Like, is the cat with us for the next 18 years? Or is the cat going back? Is there a plan? Like, you can find, because that's a responsibility. You taking on an animal is a big responsibility. I would ask what the sit she is with the cat. But I do want to, the last thing I want to say on this is, you've only been together for four to, she wrote four to five months. So I'm going to assume it's probably more closer to the four mark. I'm pretty sure I had frozen embryos with Ben at five months.

But four months is a very short period of time to be with someone. And so if you've only just been together for four to five months, I'm not saying like exclusive, put a label on it, whatever. You've only been together for four months. Just calm down. Just be a bit calm. No, I'm actually her, I'm her, don't throw the cat out of the window. But I don't think you, I'm opposite to you, Laura.

I think you are absolutely entitled for him to say get her shit out. A hundred percent. It doesn't, you don't have to throw it on the street. Her makeup doesn't need to be in the drawers when you open the bathroom. I agree. Her books, her monks, her photo frames, her jewelry doesn't have to be around the house. Just wear it. Just wear her jewelry.

It's fine. Wear her makeup. Be her. Put it in a box. Stepwife this shit. Put it in a garage. He can say the last of your stuff's in the garage, come get it. Even if she doesn't come get it, out of sight, out of mind.

He's respected your boundaries. I'm saying, I got a box back from a. from an ex-boyfriend six years after we broke up. Six years he gave me a box. That's why you're telling him to give him grace because you don't get your own shit. No, he just, one day I got a message from him and he was like, hey, I've got some stuff of yours. And I was like, who is this?

And I've blocked you. You're like, no, I didn't know the number. And yeah, he dropped over a box and it was like, to be fair, I'm actually grateful that he dropped it off. I hadn't missed it, but, you know, I was, it was happy. No, if you didn't miss it up for six years. No, it was, um, photo albums and stuff like that. Like, old photo albums from, like, being a kid and, like,

like photos of grandparents and things like that. Why did she leave that? Because like, you know, you've got loads of photo albums and bits and pieces and shit that was probably in some bottom draw somewhere and he obviously never cleaned it out and then realized. And it was kind of him to put it in a box because I'm not that kind. I would have just thrown it out, I think. Anyway, that's it from us guys.

If you have any questions for Ask I'm Cut, slide on into the DMs, or you can join us at Facebook Discussion Group where all the spicy, saucy stuff goes down and people can answer it for you. but just beware you might not get the answer you want. You might have to turn your comments on. How many people are going to come for me after this episode? None, because it was very, I was going to come for you before you properly described it. And now I'm like, it's my time to bicker.

I was like, I can't wait to bicker with Brittany on this episode. But I'm very even-minded. And as most of you will. And you're a woman of science. As most of you will know, yes, I am the woman of science and I have a very balanced answer. How would you describe me? A woman of baskets. Dude, there's not enough time to describe you.

Hey, remember, tell you, Mom, tell you, Dad. Describe me in five words. Oh, no. This is just going to get me in trouble. Go five words, five words. No, I don't want to play this game. It's a trick.

Come on. Beautiful. Great boobs. Intelligent. Remembers everything. Oh, you hit it. It's first, everyone. Anyway, guys, that's it from us.

You know the trail. I'm going to get my five next time. Two, Mom, Two, Dad, Two, Dog, Tee, and share the love the curse. We love them!