Life Uncut - ASK UNCUT - Where the foreplay at?

Episode Date: June 29, 2022

Hey Lifers!Welcome to Ask Uncut, where we answer your deep, dark and dirty questions!Today we kick things off with a quick little dating update from Britt! Spicy, spicy! As well as the most un-relatable headline in the news ever!Then we jump into your questions!-I did the wrong thing and went through my partner's laptop and found things that I didn't want to see. Do I mention it? Obviously if I do, they will know that I snooped.-How do I ethically have a 'wild' phase? I'm not looking for a relationship, or even to date, but I want to have fun and I don't want to hurt anyone else in the process.-I've started seeing someone and there's basically NO foreplay. He keeps asking if I finish afterwards and I don't want to offend him and tell him 'absolutely not.' Please help!If you have a question that you'd love for us to answer, please send it through to our DMs at lifeuncutpodcast on instagram.You know the drill; tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because we love love!! xxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders, past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode is recorded on Gadigal land of the Aurora Nation. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. And I'm Brittany.

And Brittany, you have something that you're going to tell us because on last, well, Tuesday's episode, I said it's time for some dating updates. Yeah, it is a funny little update actually. it's not i'm not gonna go hard but i'm going to tell you how is the dating life currently how slow the dating traps been it's still very very slow i'm still just dipping my toes in the water how many dates has one been on with one person or different people oh both how look at me i'm acting like i'm counting it's two okay how many dates with said two so i think i told you a story okay i've got two updates

i told you a story a little while ago about how producer kish and i had matched with the same person online and then we went out to the pub and we ran into that person we had this really awkward moment i said that a few weeks ago but you never actually went on a date with this guy in real life it was it was someone you match you talked to a little bit and then he we both only met him on a dating app but we didn't know we were both we would never do that like we're not going to play games but then when we discovered we'd both talk to him we never spoke to him again but that was because he he sort of just like disappeared so we disappeared into the nether of the internet yeah so we were like whatever like it's not like we're invested we ran into him

together at the pub and I don't think he actually recognized us slash me he might have recognized Keisha producer Keisha but not me anyway we all had a bit of a laugh about it he then all of his friends must have told him what happened and then he went and found me on Instagram oh there was more yeah so he came and found me on Instagram and was like hey we've never spoken on Instagram he's like just want to let you know I didn't ghost you you know when someone's really putting in the effort is when they change platforms when they take it from the dating apps and they go into the Instagram find you on LinkedIn send a homing pigeon he's like I just want to let you know I didn't ghost you and I wrote back and I was like you actually did he's like no I didn't I said no

that's that's literally the definition of ghosting we were talking and then you disappeared and he's like oh well I didn't mean it can I apologize can I make it up to you is it though can you actually go someone who you've never met in real life I don't think you can I think it's no yeah because imagine if you're talking to someone I'm not saying this was us as an example imagine if you're talking to someone non-stop for like 10 messages a day for three weeks four weeks five weeks and then all of a sudden nothing that's a ghosting you don't have to have met them they've still they were there and then they're not but i kind of feel like you can really only go someone once they've been a little bit of investment i.e like once that is an investment i don't think that's

who the fuck could text someone for five weeks without actually meeting them in real life unless people unless when you were on dating apps you've set your profile to there are zero barriers like as in 100 kilometer radius do you know what the listeners are thinking right now they're like oh bless laura soul she's been out of the dating game for a while you can 100 be invested without meeting yes and you can be ghosted without meeting within a week two weeks maybe three weeks max i would meet someone but i have such a short plan but i have a short attention span i couldn't date someone online texting for five weeks i'd be like fuck i'm so bored of this let's figure this out in real life see if we are compatible yeah but also think about the last

couple of years in covid and all the lockdowns so i feel like blessed is the life that laura has a beautiful relationship with children all our single people out here are like laura you do not remember what the dating was like i also blacked out what the pandemic was like as well yeah did that happen what are you talking about but that wasn't even my update i also told you guys another story recently wait wait wait no no no so he slid into your dms and said i didn't ghost you and you said you did and he said okay and then what happened oh so he wants to take me on a date that's where it's come we haven't yet I've been actually too busy and then I got COVID and influenza went to hospital so I was like wait will you go on a date with said man I think I

probably should maybe like a coffee if he's going to put the effort in but he's got to put the effort in do you have to have the conversation with producer Keisha that you're both that he chose you no because then she started talking to his other friend that's not even the update the update was i just said i've actually only gone on two dates this year isn't that a sad thing for me but i've only just getting back out there but on two days one of them i told you guys about recently where i said when we actually met it wasn't really the person that i thought it was like a semi catfish without catfish it was that person but maybe some older photos filters filters it thrown in there yeah from 10 years ago a few filters from 1997 perfect like the vintage film yeah it was he

tried to make it vintage it wasn't it was actually just vintage it was it was just an antique it was probably plenty of fish no so we had that date right and uh we were talking you know there were a few texts after it because he was really nice like there was nothing wrong with this person like I want to make that clear it just wasn't the vibe just wasn't there it wasn't for me but there were a few texts after and then I just when the opportunity came for me to not respond I didn't so like I was being nice enough but when the text died down and it wasn't a question anymore you ghosted him well he hasn't he didn't write back to me either we I guess it was just sort of fading or he picked up on it so I didn't go so we were back and forth until you know a

conversation dies it just never picked back up yeah it was it's a slow fade yeah so then I went on the date with the second person I've been on a date with and we were again this is what I do walking coffee date usually you know two birds one stone on a walking coffee date it was standing out the front of this coffee shop and there is a window in the coffee store this is at my local and I'm standing there with this person lots of flirting lots of whatever and then I look up to my right and like 1.5 meters away is the first guy the catfish date guy that I stopped talking to and he's standing there staring at me and I stared at him and then we had this I pretended I didn't recognize him because I didn't what are you doing that situation and I looked at my face

and I looked away and the guys on the date with it was like is everything all right because I must have just had them like i can't don't have a poker face and i just told him i was like i went on a date with that guy and i go and i ghosted him and he was like oh this is awkward i was like should we go to another coffee shop and that was it so that's my dating update it's just like nothing nothing can ever be smooth two dates and then they collide my world's collide that's all i've done is two dates and i had an implosion two dates but more than one date with the second person or not oh hang on you know yes I do yeah the second one I went on a few dates with yeah oh yeah yeah yeah okay cool nice it's good to be updated I'm glad that all the people are now

updated I'm glad that we can all live vicariously through your dating life anytime you want to you know tell us the ins and outs I've forgotten and it's not that I've forgotten what it's like to date trust me that trauma is etched into my brain I did some pretty terrible dating in my time but I've forgotten about how the interactions go with online dating. Like what are the rules of engagement? In terms of what? Just in terms of everything, I think. Like when you start the conversation? Well, actually I have one. I think there's actually one question in here, which we will get into, which I think kind of ties in a little bit, maybe loosely. Look, it's a stretch, but we'll tie it in. All right. Anyways, for anyone who doesn't know what this episode is,

you guys are not just about my dating. I wish it was just about Brit's dating life. You guys write in your deep, your dark, your burning questions. And we do our absolute best to answer them. And we have chosen three, maybe four, depending on how much time we have, very good questions today. But before we get into answering the questions, there is something that I read in the news, which is a very unrelatable news article that I came across. And that is, Brittany Hockley, did you see that Ben Affleck's son had an accident? Okay. I didn't read this article. I scrolled past it and I saw it and I thought Ben Affleck had the car accident. And I was like, I couldn't care less if Ben Affleck accidentally dinged a car.

So I kept scrolling. It wasn't Ben. It was his son. Ben Affleck's 10-year-old son has run his $361,000 Lamborghini into a BMW. I have so many questions. Imagine your child, not even, okay, none of us can imagine this because I'm pretty certain that not a single person who listens to this podcast owns a Lamborghini. Hey, maybe someone does.

Do you think? I don't think that we would be their cup of tea. I feel like they're probably listening to the financial review. But could you imagine your kid getting in your car and driving your car for starters, a 10-year-old, let alone, I mean, at least a Lamborghini would be easier for them to enter because it's so low line. Yeah, you don't even have to step up into it. You roll on into it.

The part of this story that's even wilder is that this wasn't their car. They didn't own this car. He got into the car at a dealership. Oh, my God. Well, they own it now. and did it break it you bought it and did it at a dealership i can't even they probably just had to buy two cars they probably had to buy the car the lamborghini and the car that they just hit could you imagine or does it do you okay do you think that in that sort of situation you would

have to pay to repair it or would the insurance come under you just have to pay the excess surely 600 bucks and fat chance laura there is no way that ben affleck's 10 year old son just just smashed two cars at a dealership and they're going to be like 600 thank you they'll be like you're purchasing those two cars i know your net worth i can google it i would love to know maybe this is something we can do in a radio segment what is your child ruined what's something that you own that your child has just monumentally fucked up for you i'll go first we bought a brand new couch when we moved into our new apartment or new house and it's a koala couch i love it and i walked out one day and marley was there with a black pen just drawing down the side of it

just casually looking me dead into the eyes like fuck you mummy drawing down the side of the couch What kind of textile, like permanent marker? Just in a black barrow, all down the side, all down the side. She'd been sitting there doing it for a while. Is it still on there? Could you get off? I picked a very good color couch. I picked a gray couch.

So it covered it remotely. But if you look closely, yeah, of course you can still see it. Well, I mean, my child has four legs. Do not get me started on your child. My child, Delilah, has four legs and she has ruined a lot of things. I don't even know where I would start. Okay, I'll start on one of them. We have a very big announcement that we're making tomorrow.

It's something that we've been working on for a long time, something that we're really excited about, something that we honestly cannot wait to share with you. And we got given it, basically. I mean, I feel like this is giving it away. No one knows. Read right away the line, people. We got given it.

Here it is. Here's one for the two of you to have together. And I got here today and I was like, I can't wait to take a photo of it. It doesn't exist anymore because Delilah ate it. And I wish that this was a joke. I wish that when somebody went to school and said, my dog ate my homework, this is literally that situation.

Brittany's dog ate my homework and I am devastated. Delilah ate our this year's most prized possession, something that was very meaningful to both of us and something that we don't have. The very first one. Yeah, we can't get it back right now. So I'm not going to lie. Do you know what I felt like when I saw it?

I felt like I was the child and I didn't know how to tell my parents what had happened you I was like what am I gonna do that's always gonna be so upset at me I was like what am I actually gonna do I was like I don't know how to tell her so I just pretended it was like really nonchalant I was just like hey lol um so this happened so what we're actually saying on this podcast episode is that there is a Australian uh shepherd dog it's up for sale if anyone would like it you can come pick it up from Bondi I can never I will never leave Delilah in your care babysitting because i'll come she'll be gone i'll come back to be like hey i gave her away i swapped her for a plant on the corner of the street i swapped her with a neighbor i thought it would be easier but anyway

okay let's get into all the questions that you guys have written in i won't give delilah away i'm not that mean but also oh man puppies are hard work shoes clothes everything announcements very expensive handbags she ate my muffin off the bench she's she's nightmare she's been running yeah but she's so cute yeah but i think i would rather kids no way yeah dog fly dogs are very polarizing in that people like if you verbalize that you're not very much of a dog person people get really angry i wouldn't date it that's a deal breaker yeah you don't like a dog like people think you're a psychopath i have a dog i am a dog person i'm just not a puppy person yeah she's only it's her birthday in a couple of days oh yeah well good thing she celebrated she said that's her

celebrating. All right, let's get into the questions. Help. I'm in a situation. I've been with my partner for two years and recently I spent a couple of days away doing house inspections. Now, while I was away, I took my partner's laptop with me so that I could watch the movies and because I was using it to do a bit of work. I was also very bored. Of course you were. So I decided to look at his photos. Of course you did. And look at his messages. You should stop on his laptop. I bought now. I know I shouldn't have done this, but I did it. And anyway, of course I found something that has made me feel sick. Now I have found two separate videos. They were very sexual videos of him and other girls in the past. Now, one of the videos I have questions about, and I

want to ask him about it. He will obviously know then that I went through his stuff. In addition to the videos, there was also a message that I found in here. She went deep guys. There was also message that I found of him texting a random number asking if they were free and also asking them how much this has also left me feeling really sick because I never thought my partner was like this what the hell do I do do I have to just ignore this whole situation ignore the text messages ignore the videos and go on and continue to do life as though I don't know about this or can I bring it up with him what should I do was there does it say Laura was the message that she found where he said how much and are you around kind of thing was that a message from before the

relationship as well I get the impression in the way that this is worded that maybe there is some loose overlap in the big from the beginning I feel like they're from quite a long time ago maybe there is like when she says there's one of them in particular I have questions about maybe there is some overlap or there's something there that makes her feel insecure but the videos specifically from the question are from the past so previously to her relationship all right well You got yourself into a real pickle doodle here because you did the wrong thing by going through his laptop for sure. Like I think there needs to be a level of privacy in a relationship and I don't mean

I think in a relationship you should have access to each other's stuff. Like I don't think you have to be hiding anything. I think you can know each other's passwords but I think you need to know someone's passwords but still have that respect of not diving deep. Now I'm not saying that this is your fault and I'm not saying you can't approach him anymore. I'm just this is from me in a relationship I would hate if my if I knew my partner was going through every single thing on my computer and I've got nothing to hide I just it just doesn't

sit right with me yeah and I think that there's a big difference between having like an open phone or open like laptop policy in terms of like you know each other's passwords and there's this real level of just like yeah sure what's mine is yours verse going really deep and trying to find something like I think that they're very different things and you know what I know what happens to a lot of people that the curiosity becomes overwhelming and that you do kind of find yourself down a rabbit hole I guess the biggest problem is though is then when you do come across something trying to explain how you got into that rabbit hole in the first place can be a bit of a situation yeah and if you want to approach him now and talk about it which I think you're going to

have to because it sounds like now that you've got this knowledge it's going to eat you alive when you're going to really dwell on it for a little while. So you probably do need to have the conversation. I don't think you can scoot around it. I think you need to say, I accidentally found something on your computer when I had it the other day. I wish I didn't.

I'm really sorry, but it doesn't change the fact that I have seen it and I want to talk to you about it. So I think you need to own up to it. I also apologize. Don't go at him attacking him. Go into it in an open conversation and be honest. But I think in these situations,

honesty is the best policy. Yeah, but I also, see the only part that i disagree with you brit is like i don't think that you can kind of frame this is as like i accidentally found something back from 1997 yeah i think you have to be honest and say look curiosity got the better of me and i was i was going through your stuff and i feel really shit about that and i i am fuck like i don't know i don't have an explanation for what made me want to do that because it didn't come from something that you've done right now however there are these two videos and there is this text message because the problem is if you say I

accidentally found something then you have to pick the one thing you want to talk about is that the message is that the video or are you going to say you found the message so then you dug even deeper like yeah I think you own both yeah you have to just own the whole thing otherwise it becomes too messy and entrenched with lies but I do agree with you that I think a conversation needs to be had but you need to be aware I'm just putting myself in this position to imagine it you need to be really aware that he's going to be mad he's going to be really upset that you've gone through his stuff and he is going to have a level of entitlement to be able to do that like it is a bit of an invasion of privacy especially if the videos this is the other thing we need to talk

about he hasn't done anything wrong he hasn't cheated on you totally but obviously having that sort of intimacy from a past relationship on your computer is still unsettling so I think that you can 100% ask him to delete those that is that is in your right in a relationship to say I don't think you need a video of you having sex with your partner on your phone for me if I was dating somebody now and they went through my phone I would have so much of my past relationship with Jordan like they would be discovering a lot of things that I don't really think about it but that's just stored on my phone from the last 18 months that's a pretty normal thing to have those things in your past and not and I wouldn't have those in if I was if somebody approached me and

said why do you have photos of them I'd be like I didn't I don't even look at them like they're just from years ago they're sitting in my phone there's thousands of them I haven't gone through and deleted them this is just a bit different in this sense because it's very sexual and that's what's making you uncomfortable I think that the big part of this is though it may not have been intent like he's not necessarily holding on to those videos because it's intentional if you found them so deep down in his messages or in his video files it's very very likely that he's not even aware that they're there, especially if they're from years and years back. I mean, you said that you've been together for two years now. He might not be aware that they're there. Now, what you

said, Britt, is very correct. Like he hasn't done anything wrong. Assuming that this is before your relationship, he hasn't done anything wrong. Even if he paid for sex before your relationship, he still hasn't done anything wrong. Yes, it might not line up with your values, but he wasn't in a relationship with you. He was and is allowed to behave in whatever capacity he feels is okay for him. And it's not hurting you. It's not hurting your relationship because it happened before your relationship. So I definitely think there has to be a level of acceptance here where if it all did happen prior to you being together, you have to get to a point where you're okay. Your partner has a past and he is entitled to his past and doesn't need to be sorry for his past, nor does he really

need to explain it to you especially if he's been committed faithful compassionate loving all the things that you want in a partner whilst he's been in the relationship with you so now knowing all of the above that it could open a whole can of worms also knowing that it seems like he hasn't done anything wrong definitely not intentionally you just need to decide if you want to open that can of worms or if you just want to let it go is it going to bother you enough that you would like to ask him to delete it have the conversation if you can move past it and not worry about it not think about it maybe you don't have to but you need to know if is that going to eat you alive are you going to dwell on it is it going to become some toxic internal issue then deal with it but that's

something that you need to think about well can you just like sneak in there and delete it yourself of course you could just delete it yeah but then also you can't I would be I would be pissed if I knew my partner was doing that creeping into my stuff going through my stuff and then deleting what they didn't like I'd be like fuck you buddy like you can't go through my personal stuff like that. Okay. Well, I feel like we've answered that question. Let's get in to question number two. Okay. Question number two. I thought this was a funny question. I'm going to read it exactly how she wrote it. Ladies, how do you ethically and morally have a ho phase? A bit of a broad question, but I'm four months single and not looking for a relationship or to date, but I wouldn't mind

connecting with people i'm also queer so how do i have a ho phase without using people and how do i successfully communicate this towards any potential sexual partners okay firstly you're gonna have a great time secondly the fact that you have even asked the question how do i do this without hurting people the fact that you're aware that like sometimes when you're going through our i want to not be attached i don't want to be tethered to anyone but i still want to have sex and have a great time and had these connections that sometimes people end up being collateral damage in that period of your life. But because you're aware of that and you're asking the question, I think that you're going to be more conscious in terms of communicating, especially in the

early phases when you're like getting to know someone, going on a couple of dates in order to get to the part where you guys can be physical together. I think it's important to be communicating, hey, I'm only looking for something that's physical or I'm not looking, you don't have to say I'm only looking for physical, but I'm not looking for anything serious. What I think sometimes people do and not everyone, but sometimes we can do it when we're dating. And I've definitely done it in the past is I thought I didn't want anything serious and I didn't want anything serious, but I definitely emotionally got into the trenches with people and maybe allowed them to think that there would be something more serious coming along because sometimes it's hard to have like

a good one night stand or have like that physical connection without having the emotional connection but if you do that and you play that game then of course you're then walking the line of really hurting someone along the way especially if you had absolutely no fucking intention of it turning from a physical thing to a commitment thing what i want to start by saying is and i know what i know why you phrased it like this a ho phase i know you're just trying to say i want to go out and and hook up with whoever. I want to really reiterate, you can have sex with as many people as you want. That does not make you a hoe. Like it absolutely does not. It just makes you living your best life. That's okay. Secondly, this is completely fine that you want to do this. I

promise you there are so many other people out there in the exact same position that want to connect with people and they want to, and maybe you don't want just one night stands. Maybe you want to sleep with the same person multiple times but with no real commitment or responsibility all you have to do is be completely honest with the people that you with if you if you're on a dating app you can say that and literally you can say looking to connect with people not looking for anything serious you can put that out there the same way people can say hey I'm I'm looking for a relationship I'm wanting to settle down I guarantee you there are that many people looking for exactly the same thing as you as long as there's complete transparency and complete honesty

no one's going to get hurt and sure someone might end up developing feelings in these situations often that does happen but as long as you've said it from the start this is what I'm looking for you can always fall back onto that and maybe if someone develops feelings and you're not ready maybe that's when you think I might cut that cord now in a very respectful way and then and move on to to dating somebody else yeah and I think that that's the biggest part of it though right for it like if you're plugged into someone and you know that they're starting to catch feelings, I think it's a bit of a cop-out and a lot of us do it. And I, you know, I've certainly done it in past relationships where we go, well, I told them I didn't want anything. It's not my fault that

they've caught feelings to me. Like if you know someone's caught feelings for you and you're still saying, I only want it to be physical, like cut the poor person loose. Do you know what I mean? Because they're hoping that you're going to change your mind. They're hoping that maybe they can do something or convince you or the more time you spend together that you might end up becoming emotionally invested. And if you know, absolutely that that's not going to happen, then I do think that we have a greater responsibility to care about other people's emotions and to care about other people's emotional wellbeing enough to go, okay, well, if they're going to want to keep seeing me because they want more, I'm going to be the one to step

away from this and look for somebody else who is just after something physical. I think that that is the road that this has to go down for you not to be hurting other people. Yeah. And also at the end of the day don't overthink this yeah just have fun like this doesn't have to be a really big deal these are supposed to be the dating is supposed to be the funnest time of your life and people get really go down this rabbit hole of of thinking that they need to to be really serious at the start and that dating is always exhausting and dating fatigue is a thing I'm aware of that but we should be able to have a lot of fun with this time of our life the time is going to come one day where you will settle down. You will want that serious relationship. Enjoy this time. Enjoy

the freedom. Enjoy meeting new people. Enjoy hooking up with new people. It's a really, it can be a really, really amazing time and you can meet some really amazing people. So don't overthink it and don't let it weigh too heavily on you. That's my advice. Wait, sex is fun too. Have fun. All right. Question number three. I've been dating this guy for over a month now. Everything is great and I really like him, but there is no foreplay, like none, none at all. And this has come off the back of the episode that Matt was on last week, where we spoke about the lack of foreplay. Now she goes on to say, we kiss for a bit and then just go straight into penetrative sex, no clitoral stimulation. And when it's over, he always seems to ask, did you finish? Which I

absolutely have not i really don't want to offend him so what should i do would he get offended if i suggest that he uses my vibrator i am offended i am offended for you i am offended that you have dated someone for a month and not had an orgasm i'm offended that you don't want to offend him by saying you didn't come when he asked you to like when he asked if you did don't lie just say no and sorry no i like absolutely not not even 50 i'm not even halfway there sorry you only did a quarter of the job so no i didn't come unfortunately i'm not serviced the worst thing you can do we say this a lot the worst thing you can do in these situations is lie or pretend that because if if you have been like oh yeah i did i came he's gonna be like great nailed it whatever

i just did is what works for her so he's gonna keep doing it and you're and you're gonna be in a very vicious cycle absolutely never reward bad behavior that's exactly like an animal or a child never never reward bad behavior they will do it again and again and again okay for me I think that this is a really easy one yes you may offend him a little bit he may go oh my god like I didn't realize yeah he might feel a bit uncomfortable about it but guess what I personally think that your sexual satisfaction is more important than his ego and his ego because it's ego at the end of the day like maybe he just doesn't know maybe he was dating a girl who was quite fine with like get it in wham bam and she could she could orgasm from penetrative sex most women can't and you are

setting this person up even if you guys don't end up in a long-term relationship you are setting him up to be a better lover for the next person and for yourself by communicating to him that actually he needs to do a bit more of the distance and I don't think you have to to be honest I don't think you have to go straight to bringing a vibrator in like you can if that's what you want to use if that's how you know you can easily get off but I do think you can kind of be like I would love it if you would go down on me can you put your fingers in me first there are other things that you could ask him to do to sit on his face you could just sit on his face there are other things that you can do prior to just resorting to using toys it's very easy for me it's like it's just like yeah

my heart my soul hurt when you're like I don't want to offend him it's not it's actually not offending him you're doing him a favor like he without doubt will be mortified to know that he thinks he's nailing it and he's not hitting the spot physically metaphorically literally he's not emotionally in every way the guy's not hitting the spot so you need to tell him that so he knows how to hit it yeah okay where would you do this would you do this in the bedroom would you do it outside of the bedroom I would do this one in the bedroom and I wouldn't be saying you're not doing it I would just be saying let's try something else or and I think like literally just before he is about to stick it in like if that's where you get to straight away if he's like kissing kissing kissing

and then trying to like get it you can be like whoa whoa let's slow down how about we you know and you can kind of direct him in a way before he gets to that point like I just want to take it slow this time and see if that helps if it doesn't help if he doesn't take the subtle cues and you have to be a little bit more black and white with him then I think a conversation outside of the bedroom can be helpful as well yeah I mean you can literally just say during sex put a finger in like like just just give the guy some direction he probably wants the direction but if if that doesn't work then I think the next best option is you can say babe I want to try something I would really love it if we could take things a bit slower and have a bit more foreplay like that

would really get me off that you're not then therefore saying hey you've been doing this wrong what you're saying is this is what would make it better for me so you're kind of like doing it in a supportive way without being too much of a put down but nobody has time for skipping for play no one is in that much of a rush well that is it three short and sharp questions please keep the questions coming in to life uncut podcast instagram dms keep your accent unfiltered your confessionals anything that you want to send us we aren't doing another ask uncut for a little while though we're taking some time yeah but we still need them lauren yes discourage them but okay but if you need an immediate answer to your question you just have to wait a little while

because we are going on holiday so we have what's very exciting for us we have one more episode next week on tuesday and then we're going away for a couple of weeks and then we're going to drop a bonus episode in that time because we can't actually get away on a proper holiday we have to just keep on bringing you content so keep them coming in and also the ask uncut aftermaths we really want to keep bringing you guys some aftermaths because you guys write in and you're always asking whatever happened do you ever know what happened to this person so we want to be able to bring you those we also want to know we give you this advice and we always laura and i always say to each other what do you reckon they did whatever happened to that person i know we

It'll help us sleep easier. We are going to drop an aftermath during our break. But that is it from us, guys. If you loved the episode, jump onto Apple Podcasts. You can leave us a review there and you know the drill. Don't forget to tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends and share the love because we love love. We'll be right back.