Life Uncut - Ask Uncut with Laura & Matt! "It's Bad For My Flow. It's Bad For My Juju"

Episode Date: January 21, 2026

 Hey Lifers! Today's ask uncut features special guest and Laura's husband Matt (aka Matty J).Our favourite mum and dad had some issues getting this episode recorded so it's 11pm and there's whispering in an attempt to keep the 3 kids asleep.Also Matt would like a plug for Two Doting Dads and most certainly not to be live edited. It's bad for his flow and bad for his juju.  Matt and Laura firstly answer questions about themselves like what their qualifications are... this could be a genuine or a sassy question! They also speak about: How they've managed going from 2 to 3 kids How they keep the 'spark' alive  Being asked about gender disappointment Vasectomy considerations 'Ageing' in the public eye Plus we answer your dilemmas! IS HE OVER REACTING TO A PAD?I was in the bathroom this morning changing my pad and wrapped up the old one in the sleeve of the new one. My step son who is 10 years old came bursting in so I quickly placed it next to the hair dryer. It was just me and him. He likes to talk and ask strange questions so I answered his questions and I honestly just completely forgot about my wrapped up pad. A few hours later I realised that I might not have disposed it because I got distracted by my step son and I asked my partner if he could check. He didn't respond all day. When I got home he completely lost it at me. He raised his voice, snapped and kept going on and on and on calling me disgusting and telling me to clean up after myself. This was all over a little pad that was wrapped up and left on the side table in the bathroom. Now, I'm not embarrassed by this. I couldn't care less but his reaction feels totally over the top. Is this reasonable or is he out of line? CAN I TELL MY SISTER SHE SELF SABOTAGES?My sister is 23 which I know is young in the grand scheme of things. She's had about 4 boyfriends in the past 4 years and many situationships in between all of these guys. They have all been absolute flogs except for the most recent one. He is seriously just the best guy. He cares for her so much and he went above and beyond for not only her but our whole extended family. She ended things with him after they had a minor disagreement and is now straight back into a 'hoe' phase. Is there a nice way I can tell her that she has f*cked up and that this boy is a rarity that she will likely not come across again. She's quite defensive but she self sabotages every good thing that comes her way and I'd hate for her to lose a guy who was perfect for her. Please help from a worried sister.  MY PARTNER BAILED ON ME FOR A GAMES NIGHT WITH HIS MATESMy grandfather passed away this week at the age of 95. Today we had the viewing for him. I don't know if this is just a Catholic thing, but it happens a few days before the funeral. My partner told me he could not get off work in time to make the viewing at 4:30, which was fine. He had been there for my family and was taking the day off for the funeral anyway. The main annoying thing though, was that I didn't want our two year old daughter to attend. I was hoping that he could stay at home with her. Now, while I'm at the viewing he messages me to confess that he actually did leave work early today, and had gone to his mates place for a game tournament that they do every year. This had been planned for quite some time. I'd forgotten about it with my grandfather's death, and also the fact that I am three weeks postpartum. We have a three week old and a two year old together. Usually he is a great dad and never avoids looking after the kids, etc. but my main issue is the lie and that ultimately he chose his friends over me and the initial lie about having to work. Am I overreacting with postpartum hormones or is this a deal breaker?   You can watch us on Youtube Find us on Instagram Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Hosted by Britt Hockley & Ben Siegrist Produced by Keeshia Pettit Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! XxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Do a sink clap. Do a sink clap? That was close. Don't you think that was sinky? Isn't it annoying to have two claps? I don't know. Don't you? No, you do it.

No. Sorry. Fucking Jesus Christ. Sounds like there's a crow in the house. What's the bet that one of the kids is going to wake up during this? Yeah, well, all this clapping. just like one clap you're fucking doing like a standing ovation hi guys and welcome back to another episode of life uncut i'm laura can we tell them what time

it is right now it's so late can we please uh it's 10 minutes past 10 p.m we have been trying it's 11 yeah no it's sorry it's 11 it's 11 minutes past 10 we've been trying to do this episode for five weeks five weeks i was due in two days i can't say five weeks we tried once stop trying to make it sound like every evening we did the best we could we just couldn't get it done that's literally how we got pregnant the third time we weren't trying every evening we just tried once it's easier to get pregnant than it is to record a podcast episode with you can i just say look i mean it's already chaotic to anyone who's just joined us and has never listened to a laugh uncut episode before i'm laura this is not britney who normally is on the podcast this is our

holiday specials and i'm joined by my wonderful husband matt or maddie j when do you think the last time was that we recorded an episode together it was a long time ago it was when we were both intoxicated on gnts and we no no no that's a lie it was for your podcast but it's been a long time since we've done one for life on car just the two of us and they were even for my podcast which is two doting dads listen to it's really good it's a really good parenting podcast i'm just gonna cram in two doting dads as much into this episode as i can okay as you know we are currently on our holiday for one more week we're back to normal programming as of next week you would have listened I'm talking very loud and the kids are asleep.

Sorry. Very loud. You would have listened to last week's episode. Headphones off. I can't whisper doing a podcast episode. Whisper the whole podcast. It's great to be here. People won't like that.

It's like ASMR. We have three children who are currently asleep upstairs. And a nana. And nana is also asleep in the front room. And the reason why it's taken us so long to get started tonight is because Poppy has woken up three times since we attempted to start this record. Can I also just say? Say as much as you want.

We've got an hour of this. Okay, let's pad this out. Anna, we tried to record the first time down south in Ulladulla and someone forgot the charger for the podcast equipment. Yes, I know. But look, let's not focus on the things I've done wrong. Let's focus on the episode that is at hand. We are here together now, you and I, and we are doing this.

And it wasn't until I'd set up every microphone, there were two, and then I set up the mixer and did everything and I was like look at me like the sound technician guy here and then the last final piece of the puzzle was the charger which I couldn't find and it was annoying that I didn't find the charger first the power cord yeah the power cord yeah anyway look let's not focus on the little details no it's great to be here I reckon let's just cut the trying to record it only because we haven't set up this ask everything yet I don't want to he editing wait wait wait wait of course i'm gonna give editing notes to keisha just so we can get into it oh hey keisha i don't want to fucking you can tell keisha afterwards

don't edit me mid mid fucking podcast record you're like so i'm just gonna edit all of you out from that last five minutes i'm like that is bad for my fucking flow that's bad for my juju nothing is gonna make me more upset than you telling me you're gonna fucking edit me out the last five minutes that is not how you put me in a good mood you can leave the leave that offline just leave it all in case leave that whole thing in this is gonna be fun look you guys might have listened to last week's holiday special ask

which was britain ben and this is it's you and me answering all the questions that have come in we did get quite a few and i think that the way we can tackle this episode is we'll do the ask like the questions that came in specifically about us or for you matt and then we'll answer a couple of listening questions as well i did a call out and laura was like what questions did you get and i was like well this one's interesting and someone asked um who's my favorite broncos player, Broncos, NRL, great football club. And Laura's like, no. Same person again was like, where were the Broncos end up at the end of the 2006 season? And Laura's like, we're not going to answer that one. Why are they asking you?

Because they're obviously a Broncos supporter and they know that I'm down for that. All right. I'm going to kick this off. I did get a few questions that came in, which was specifically for you, Matt. And when we did this call out, I was like, look, we're doing an Ask Uncut. You can ask us anything that you want. It can be about your life your relationships it can be about us and ours and absolutely nothing is off limits we will answer to the best of our ability whatever you want to ask us and the very first question that came in was did you go to uni and what are your qualifications i'm not sure if this was in like respect to it just being about the question or about in our qualifications to answer people's

questions either way did you do your master's i started it and then i and then i quit how close did you get to finishing your master's like about a month off i went into like a month before i should have finished you what well your master's is only one year so i did my undergraduate that's what my mom said at christmas she was like i'm so mad that you didn't finish that degree do it surely by now no i think it's long gone i think once you unenroll and you quit and it's been 10 years you can't just like pick up three quarters of the way through again oh you're gonna start back from the beginning. You'd have to redo your entire master's degree. Yeah. Look, I just wasn't happy. I lived in Lismore at the time. I chased a boy there. I didn't even want

to do my master's. I just had no other reason to be in Lismore. And then we broke up and I had a month left and I was like, I'm miserable. I'm going to go home. So yeah, I just never finished it. Back to Wollongong. I went back to Wollongong. Did you think to yourself, I'm going to go back and finish it remotely? Never. No, no. So you left knowing that that was the end. That was the dream of the master's was done. I think I never really wanted to do my master's. I think I just had nothing else and no other reason to be in lismore and for those wondering it was a master of arts fine arts yeah so i'm really qualified to answer wow we're quite similar i know we we're both failures because i didn't finish tafe but that's like you're the equivalent of someone

saying you know your master's is like getting to the end of a marathon i all i had to do was do a hundred meter sprint that's like tafe equivalent was there a reason why you decided to drop out of TAFE. Thank you for asking. I got a job. I got a job in Sydney. Well done. And I went to my teacher and I said, look, I've got a job working in events because I wanted to get my diploma of event management. And I got offered a job and I thought to myself, I will go and finish it. But whilst I'm working from Sydney, I can, they said your final assessment, it was your final, and it was a big assessment. Like the, it was thousands of words. Yeah. So many. And you don't like writing words very bad and as soon as i like left brisbane i was like fucking see you i also

think that there's no better skills than like the skills that you learn on a job like i mean unless you're a doctor or someone who really should learn those skills first but like fiona was the teacher she emailed me a couple times being like is that assignment still coming and i was like delete so you just ghosted your teacher you never even said that you weren't going back to tafe you just never showed up she knew that i was leaving to sydney she knew that i had the job and she just was like well your assignment's going to be due on this date and I was like so fine I'll work on it from Sydney it's nice when you fail at something like I mean didn't fail but you quit and then you look back on life and you're like oh it turned out okay anyway we're fine and look to answer that

question the reality is that we're both completely unqualified but we've been doing this for quite a while now so it's fine like events and arts are one of the few and maybe like personal trainers I think and self-help coaches and self-help coaches we're all the same the top of the pyramid they don't we don't need degrees we're not like we're not doing surgeries on people no it doesn't matter if we tell things that are not true no doctor's doing a podcast and then I broke up my boyfriend and I and I actually didn't finish my medicine degree that's not happening well look we got so many questions most of them which is probably unsurprising to all of you a lot of them are around parenting and a lot of them around our relationship but also around how we're navigating

this very full-on phase and if we sound delirious it's because we probably are with a newborn the sleep deprivation the relationship so i'm just going to dive straight in firstly matt what is your honest lowdown and how has the transition been going from two kids to three kids for you i mean it's been great so far because you've been breastfeeding the whole time up until now i've still done all the bottle feeds though like it's not i haven't really past the baton yet and i feel like it is coming or past the baby i'm due to hold that thing but you're the baby joking uh her name's poppy it's been it like it's it obviously i say obviously but i think we'll both i was in the brace position because number two bless lolas cute little cotton

socks she was a tricky baby in the newborn phase yeah it was really really hard and i think we'll both expecting that it could be like a Lola 2.0 who like Lola is great I love it love to death she's the best but I think we've been both pleasantly surprised at how epic Poppy has been in terms of feeding and sleeping yeah and I said this to you guys like pre us going on holiday break and nothing has changed yet like we are going through the four month sleep regression which has not been fun I also managed yeah I mean it's so nice I heard you up last night I was like Can you two keep it down, please? I caught strep throat during the holidays.

What is strep throat? No one knows. It's like getting. I think they do. The doctors. No, no one who's done art or self-help knows what strep throat is. No, it is like a bacterial infection in your throat, but holy shit, guys, if you've ever had it, it hurts so much.

I couldn't eat, I couldn't drink properly, and my milk supply went down a lot. And so there was like three days there where Poppy was really hungry, and it's probably the first time that i've seen her be fussy or crying like really properly crying when i say this she is not like lola or like marley we just got served we got handed a very easy baby this time and i almost was pretty easy i think she was too but now that i had the comparison of poppy we were in like i know it sounds really wankerish but we were in europe when she was at three months this is true but do you know what i also remember don't you have

memories of like hand rocking her to sleep like i don't remember any of that you don't remember any of it i do have flashbacks sometimes when i rock poppy and i'm like in that little room in um south bondi where we used to live yeah but no we definitely did marley was easy lola was really really tricky and poppy is a unicorn baby and i feel self-conscious saying that because i know that there's so many moms who are in the trenches who are not getting any sleep yeah and no one wants to hear someone be like oh my baby sleeps and is great yeah and we come home and she's cooked dinner and she's like wash the car it's amazing but i like yeah i get that that's like no one has time for that i know sorry she is like so much easier than the other two and i also think

i think the other thing that's made it really manageable for us and i do think that it is the golden ticket when it comes to having three kids is the age gap we've got almost five years between Poppy and Lola and having that age gap has made everything so much easier. Whereas before we had 20 months or 19 months or something crazy. The parts that I find hard, like we've just come off the back of a long stint of like no daycare, no school, you know, we've been with the kids. We actually had to parent. I know. God, it's hard, but there's, there's no reprieve. You know, when you've got, when you've got two kids, you either have that nap time at midday or you have like a bit of downtime in the afternoon where we put on like a little movie you don't

get that with poppy in the mix you know we don't get that the only time that we have where the kids are removed from the day is 8 39 o'clock which means that there's very little time for us sometimes not much time for us also going for a surf or a run is is such a luxury right now yeah yeah it is one of the big questions that came in was how do we manage to find time for us or keep the spark alive when there's three kids and I was like do we I don't know no but genuinely because I even though even though I don't think that we're in a phase of life we're like doing date nights or having like a lot of time specifically just us I still think that we're in terms of like navigating this newborn phase I think we're doing a pretty good job of it yeah I do too like we like each

other still that's nice yeah we still like each other i yeah yeah 100 definitely yeah for sure oh yeah heaps uh this is convincing this is that was great i love you so much i do i really do i really do the love has never wavered at all i love you too i love you too except for when you brush your teeth and don't actually wash your mouth out i fucking hate that so much i could have a speck of toothpaste like it's speck on like the corner of my mustache and laura's like oh my god freak clean yourself you're a filthy pig i'm like what the fuck i have i have the tiniest and i wipe it with my hand and you go wash it with water oh my god relax all right that bad no the spark the spark is

i don't know like the spark's just always there do you know what i think it is when you talk about the spark it's not the same as when you first start dating when you're like i want to rip your clothes off and mount you it's not that spark i'm making right now it's the spark of like we have a lot of fun together and you're my best friend and we get each other's humor and we make each other laugh a lot and I think that that for us is like the spark that we you know are best mates who want to have sex with each other and that's really beautiful yeah and I think when you let me go for a run I'm like fuck she's pretty good I don't let you go for a run what do you mean when Laura lets me out of the cupboard and I get my half an hour of yard time do you know what

happened you came home after a spearfish so um while we were away on this holiday down south Matt's old how do we even describe this like I feel like as we enter different phases of life we pick up new hobbies and Matt's like in this phase of spearfishing hobby it's the new thing right it was like surfing in your 20s surfing's kind of like you know comes and goes it's very primal some men take on golf and you took on spearfishing there was a moment where I caught a big Aussie salmon and a friend of ours who I was taking up for the very first time we'd never been spearfishing and he was watching me as I gutted and I scaled the salmon it was a big salmon it was massive it's huge salmon and he was like how does that feel and I was like so good

that's why I like spearfishing because it makes me feel manly so Matt comes home from this spearfish after filling up a salmon and he just looks at me and he goes god I'm so happy and I was like with me or because you went spearfishing and you were like both just really happy right now yeah life is good and it was nice it was a nice moment not just because of the spearfishing but because I feel like it's important that we still have things that we want to do and that we look forward to even though 99.9% of our lives is parenting at the moment do you think the spark would be bigger slash better if you caught bigger fish if we know if we actually did dedicate more time like one-on-one because my mom whilst we're

away was like hey if you and laura want you want to have a night out just the two of you like you should do that you should book something in and i was like yeah no it's fine like i kind of love playing cards with your mom in the evening it's like one of my favorite parts of the day we keep the spark alive so if you are new to the podcast you don't know matt's mom lives with us and Matt's mum and I hang out in the evening and we watch Traders UK and we play cards and so to be fair we I think we've had a lot of time together even though it's probably not what you would describe normally as dating and like the quality time that I think we aspire to when we think of like you know dedicating time with your partner but I do think that you and I spend a lot

of time together and but do you think we have a lot of fun during it spend more time just the two of us i don't know do you i don't know i'm just like should we try that i think that we're doing pretty okay for keeping the spark alive when we have three kids and one of them is a newborn like yeah i agree maybe i want to say this because i'm kind of proud of us i'm kind of like proud that we i think uh in a better spot now after three kids than what we were after having two kids i think we like figured out how to juggle the parenting load a little bit better than what we did when we had you know both marley and lola at the same time yeah because i think the metamorphosis into being a parent is complete by the time you have two you're like you are you're full

100 there's no caterpillar left you're a butterfly pokemon evolution your final pokemon evolution is now complete okay well look we had a lot of questions around having three kids or having a fourth kid a lot of questions around vasectomies as well i have said before that we are at a point now where we have done like we're not going to have any more kids but a big thing and something i mean i know that we've discussed this ourselves but i don't know whether you've had the discussion on two dating dads or not another plug for you matt such a good podcast it really is it really does touch on all those parenting things did you have gender disappointment when you found out that poppy was going to be a girl i know that there was a part of you that had hoped that maybe

there was a boy in the mix at the time yeah you know when sometimes you are away on holiday and you think to yourself, I really want to try the chicken dish from the restaurant at dinnertime and you go, I'll have the lamb tonight and then on tomorrow night I'll have the curry and then it's the last night and you don't get the chicken and you go home being like, I never got to have the chicken whilst I was away. This is a really interesting analogy for parenting. And, you know, it's a bit like having a child.

I do wonder what it would be like to have a boy. like you know what would would that be different would it be similar but then I look at boys and I'm like they are turbo but I also think I don't want to say like gender disappointment because I feel like that that is very loaded and I feel like there's disappointment and then there's also this feeling of like okay it's not what I expected or it's not what I had necessarily hoped for in that moment I think disappointment is almost too harsh a word for that feeling and I definitely didn't Like I was so stoked to have another girl because I think that there's something really beautiful in having three sisters

and also – Really? Yeah, and I also think that there's something really special in the relationship that you have with the girls. Whereas if there was a boy in the mix, I think it would change because you would just naturally – because he would be the only boy, you would naturally gravitate towards doing things with him so that he wasn't left out and then the girls would be left

to play together. whereas now you're just like such an involved quote-unquote girl dad that I I think that it actually worked out the way that it was supposed to be and now you're just surrounded by women in this house yeah it's funny someone this morning they didn't really know our store entirely but they were like oh you're obviously a girl dad and I was like oh how can you tell like I can just tell and I looked at Ash and I'm like oh you've got a boy and a girl yeah I was like wow you're the oracle she knows i was like is it maybe it's obvious i don't know not to me do you think that okay this was the next question if you could guarantee that if we were to have a fourth child

it would be a boy would you want to go number four i don't think i could and credit to parents who managed to look after more than three kids i like three because i can still give what feels to me like really quality time with each child with four I'm like how like how the hell do you give enough time to each child plus to your partner plus to yourself plus to work like how like that is to me I can't the math ain't math and I'm like it's not possible I agree I feel like for us three is would be three is our tipping point if we had any more kids in the mix that's when I think people would suffer I think we would suffer in our relationship but I also do think that the relationship that we have with our children now would like something there's just

not enough hours in the day right yeah I feel the same I almost feel like at the moment sometimes it's a little bit stretched I mean even this afternoon is really lame but I was cleaning the garden I just wanted to do like an hour of the garden get it finished and Marley was like can you please play with me and I was like I can but just after I finished the garden and she was so upset and i was so guilty because i was like do i like what do i prioritize here the work the housework or yeah with my kid and i didn't play with her i did the gardening first but i was like but then we went to the park they went to the park but then i i cannot fathom how you do that with more than three kids and give that one a one time ah okay what is the biggest ick that you have

with me your farting is pretty full-on at the moment it's i'm postpartum i know i know am i still postpartum at four months sure whatever that's rich coming from you you fart more than me right now i am postpartum okay you don't have an excuse you're just a man do you think you fart more now i think i've yeah yeah yes yeah but they don't smell they're just voluminous how do they not smell where are they coming from how are they not i think it's my i think it's my gut still going back into place i genuinely think it i think my my womb and my intestines are still moving back uh you can i don't mind the fighting it's not that bad is it ick yeah what's your biggest ick with me you're very messy when you cook dinner at least i'm cooking dinner i would

rather you didn't fucking hell i've never seen someone use so many utensils and pots and pans for like magic noodles fuck off i don't cook magic noodles you you make you you've given a nudge when you cooked your nut and it's delicious thank you you're very good at cooking the fish that i catch but i make a big mess doing it hey um the biggest ick sometimes when you're like ripping skin off your feet and you're flicking it around the house that's not true either where's laura and she's just an extra mountain of dry skin that she's ripped off her feet did you see that video that i tagged you where the guy is sanding his that's real love matt tagged me in his video on instagram and it was a husband and wife duo and he was using a dremel to sand

the like overgrown dead skin off his wife's feet and i have i don't know what's happened to me i don't know if it's hormonal i don't know if it's also just like a weird postpartum side effect i have never had feet this dry it was my 2025 new year's resolution to go into 2025 with like non-dry scaly feet and i maintained it for about two months and my feet have never been worse at this moment like i don't know what happened your feet they they drink up moisturizer like nothing else out of control it's wild it really is anyway that'll be us in 50 years have you gone to a podiatrist yeah no i haven't maybe i should book it yeah that's the quality time and my biggest ick with you is the fact that like we already discussed it we touched on it but we can touch

on it again it's that when you brush your teeth you don't use any water and it's the weirdest matt dry brushes his teeth i probably talked about it before and then he doesn't rinse his mouth he just spits and so then all of the toothpaste particles and saliva are just like on his face and then he wipes it on a towel. No, because now I brush my teeth and then I have a shower afterwards. So I go into the shower with stuff with the toothpaste around my mouth and then even then you're like, what are you doing? How often do you wipe your toothpaste mouth on a towel?

Never. That's a lie. That's a lie. Never. All right, and vasectomies. Other icks, other icks. We can leave it at that. Other icks.

What else is there, Laura? Driving's not great. if i'm if i'm being completely honest i do not like being a passenger when you're behind the wheel my driving gives you the ick that's rough you love me i'm perfect you are you are very perfect thank you we're a perfect match i love your eyes thank you great teeth great your boobs are fantastic they're enormous right now i love them they okay vasectomies yeah we had a big chat about vasectomies last year where are you at now on the vasectomy thought i'm gonna book it in next week not book it in i'll speak to someone to try and book it in next week really yeah how do you

feel about it now i still think i'm gonna get a like a sample of sperm frozen are you doing that in case we separate and you have like a new wife and you need some sperm for her or is it just you just to keep it for old time's sake like if you're gonna if you're gonna cement over the well get one more bucket out before you do that what are you gonna do with that bucket is it gonna is it you're gonna keep it just just in case who knows you may want the bucket if you never use it we could make some jewelry out of it resin jewelry i've had a few requests for that before love that okay how do you feel about me getting a vasectomy? Oh, I feel the same as you do. I'm almost like get another bucket out just

in case the thought of it being completely closed door freaks me out a little bit, but I know that we can't have any more kids. I think that we wouldn't be able to manage it as well as what we can or what we are now. But at the same time, the thought of that not being an option ever is also something that feels weird to me. I don't know how to describe it. It's like, I want everything at the same time. Okay. This question, I found this an interesting one. Actually, I found it kind of funny because not enough men get asked this how do you deal with aging in the public eye i reckon it's harder at home marley's always like bloody hell you got some fucking white whiskers coming through there pal it's harder with the kids as in yeah the kids will point

out like whenever there's something they're like you're old you got wrinkles now dad yeah they're the first ones all will be like mom why is your hair all falling out i'm like because i have postpartum hair loss sweetheart mom what's that and I'm like that's a wrinkle hey mom what's that that's a sunspot we don't need to point out every single thing on mom's skin yeah they they will make no but it's an interesting one like how is it aging in the public eye because I think for women there's been loads of discussions about it for so long that kind of that's something that on one hand it's tricky to navigate on the other hand it's like Botox and everything else is so widely accepted so there's things that you can do to pause it if you want to have you ever had

anyone comment about you and your appearance yeah i mean the one i have gotten is i mean fuck i've had loads of people comment on my appearance actually but the one that i have gotten on repeat is someone saying like you need to stop putting filler under your eyes and i was like i don't have filler under my eyes they're wrinkles i'm just tired the fucking opposite of filler the one person or multiple people no the one i think it's the one person who just likes to troll me on daily mail fuck off and they and they thought that i had filler but anyway they thought that the wrinkles under my eyes are filler migration but i was like no i just have wrinkles under my eyes i'm just actually that's the one i'm a mom of three kids that when people are like

you look tired and you're like i'm just almost 40 bro with three kids like that's that's what that is i can't help that i slept eight hours last night actually i'm actually feeling great i'm on holidays but fucking cheers no do you know what i get so i mean the one question i get a lot is is why do you have so many bruises on your arms i get it all the time people always like oh my god laura what happened to those bruises on your arms like who gave you those bruises i have pigmentation on my arm on only on one arm which is annoying and it looks like someone's grabbed me but actually it's just pigmentation so that for me is annoying because it's probably something that's going to get worse not better as i get older and i get asked all the time yeah anyway

there you go everyone actually marley found my old license when i was about 24 25 she was like what's this and i was like that's a driver's license she was like wow it doesn't even look like you and i was like what do you mean she's like you're so young and i was like i still look like that and she was like no you don't sorry kids are rough yeah why do we have three hopefully poppy is nicer than the rest all right well with those questions which were for us out of the way we have some listener questions which matt when i did this call out you said if you want anyone to take your advice seriously you are not the person to ask so i do feel sorry for for these three people who have

asked these questions please do your best people out there yeah i always do all right i always try pad you know that here we go am i overreacting yes i was in the bathroom this morning changing my pad and wrapped up the old one in the sleeve of the new one so in case you don't know this matt a pad has like the plastic wrap you wrap up your old pad with the sleeve of the new one do you know what i learned oh god you've already hijacked it pad sticks to the undies sorry what I thought the pad stuck to the vagina, like that part, to the body. Sorry. When did you learn this?

I don't know. Someone told me. No, how long ago? Like six months ago. Oh, God. I didn't know. I just thought it made sense to stick to the person, not to stick to the undies.

Are you joking? No. I wish I was. So do I. I didn't know that. Well, why would I know that? I've never. This is, okay, no, this is not.

it's i'm horrified why you thought how was it absorbed like no i thought the pad i thought the pad had like a liner of like double-sided tape that people just sections on to either side of the flaps like yeah yeah that is out of control matthew that is the no i am i'm embarrassed for you i'm sure at some point that's how it's done absolutely at some point someone actually it's more cost effective to do the knickers this is like the time that you thought women didn't have three holes i never thought i was i was 13 jesus all right what's the rest of the question i actually don't think that you're the person who should be answering this now i think i i really off oh my god i don't know how this is why you ended up with three daughters the

life lessons that you were going to learn soon you are this is the education piece okay so you wrapped up the old one okay so yep she wrapped up the old one in the sleeve of the new one my stepson who was 10 years old came bursting in so i quickly just placed it on the side of the hair dryer so basically she just like kind of put it on the side little table i guess right which was next to the towel rail while we spoke. It was just me and him. And he likes to talk and ask really strange questions. And he just came in and basically came in and was all chatty to her while she was trying to go to the toilet. So I answered his questions. He didn't ask me what I had in my hand. And I honestly just completely forgot about it. A few hours later, I realized

that I might not have disposed of it because I got distracted. And I asked my partner if he could check. He didn't respond all day. So basically she messaged him and said, Hey, can you check? I think I left my pad in the bathroom. When I got home, he completely lost it at me. He raised his voice. He snapped and he kept going on and on and on calling me disgusting, a grub and telling me to clean up after myself all over a little pad that was wrapped up and left on the side table in the bathroom. Now I'm not embarrassed by this. I honestly couldn't care less, but his reaction feels totally over the top. Or is this a much bigger deal than what I'm expecting? if i left my pad sitting in the bathroom i wouldn't like it yeah but i wouldn't like it i

just i don't like blood you're not gonna yell at me about it our nephew he had a blood nose and he had a tissue that he was using to clean it all up and he left it in one of the rooms at my sister's house and i found it and i was like oh i don't like blood but i'm not gonna get angry at you i'm not gonna raise my voice yeah but also i mean i understand that's fine you could be someone who doesn't like blood but i don't think that it needs to be like it's not like you left a turd in the bathroom do you know i mean like that would be disgusting but like okay how would you react if i was like oh laura i don't know if i flushed can you go up to the toilet and just double check but it's like every day i don't know if i wipe the skid marks off the bowl and there they are

sitting there lola it's not don't you blame the kids for the skiddies oh yeah it's our whole household i think that it's overreacting i think it's a gross overreaction of your husband i think that he clearly has like to him periods are gross and so therefore like that's what he's loaded into it and instead of just being like yeah babe you left it there it's okay for him to not want to have to pick it up and put it in the bin it's not his job to do so but he certainly shouldn't make you feel ashamed or embarrassed or carry on like that like it's very period shaming you think the dirty pad is an outlet for something else that he's frustrated by no i think he's just like grossed and wigged out by it because he's like he's being ridiculous like to me like that's a ridiculous

reaction it doesn't make sense maybe there's something else that is bugging him and he was using that situation as a way to let other frustrations out no i think it does make sense i think there are men out there who are just absolutely like weirdly revolted by periods like they're so frightened by them and they they don't want to have sex when you on your period or they don't want to be like oh look it's it's not for me and I don't think it is just the oh I don't like blood situation I think it's because it's a period I think some people feel very down by it and that to me is what this screams but I don't think that when you say you don't like blood I don't think that that's your reasoning for it my dislike for blood is all types of blood how did

you deal with childbirth that was fun I was that was rough hey babe I actually left my placenta on the side table could you just go and pick that up how many times have i told you put your placenta away all right next question my sister is 23 which i know is young in the grand scheme of things she has had approximately four boyfriends in the past four years and many situationships in between all of these guys she's 23 sorry she's 23 yeah they have all been absolute flogs except for the most recent one he is seriously just the best guy genuinely cares for her so much and just went above and beyond for not only her, but also for our whole extended family. She ended things with him after they had a minor disagreement and is now straight back into

a hoe phase. Is there a nice way I can tell her that she's fucked up and this boy is a rarity that she will likely not come across again? She's quite defensive. And to be honest, I'm terrified of her, but she self-sabotages every good thing that comes her way. And I would hate for her to fully lose a guy who was so perfect for her i know that it could be said that maybe he wasn't perfect for her since they did break up but i honestly cannot stress the self-sabotage thing here please help from a worried sister wow to be 23 again hey oh bless i think these are the years that you're supposed to figure out what it is that you want in your relationships in your life and i i don't think that there is anything that as a sister you can

say that's gonna make her go oh you're right he is actually the perfect one for me i think she's gonna go through self-sabotage she's gonna go through learning the lessons she's gonna go through the breakups and seeking out the same type of guy over and over and until she realizes that she wants something different for herself i don't think that as a sister you can make her want something different for herself and i'm sure this boy's been snapped up because he sounds like a keeper so he's he's gone do you think that there's anything that she could do though that would make her see it from her perspective yeah i'm basing this on the fact that when i was 23 i wasn't really listening to anyone else and i thought i knew everything when in reality i knew hardly

anything i do think just it's one of those things that she's going to have to date another guy compare the new guy to the old boyfriend who was amazing and be like oh my gosh i actually i did have it so good he was such a great guy and she won't appreciate that until she's with another person and she realizes what she's lost unless I mean with your sister if she was like Laura that guy you just ended it with you're wrong he's actually really amazing and you know you don't want to lose that do you think you'd be like you're right Alicia thank you so much no I think that that's why she's defensive because she's in the midst of trying to figure out what she wants in her relationship she's only 23 years old and so having someone tell you that you're doing it

wrong and you've made a big mistake I think defensiveness is probably all you're going to be met with and I really do think when you say like she's straight back into being a hoe and having a hoe phase she's 23 I was like 29 and I had like the worst year of dating in my life like that was like the year where I went through a big breakup and then were you 29 30 I think yeah just turned 30 yeah it was a it was a rough year I look back at that anyone would have looked at me and said like you're self-sabotaging or like not necessarily having a hoe phase but I was in a real self-sabotage situation with my dating and then I met you and everything was like you know it worked out the way that it was supposed to work out but I do think that you can't force

these lessons on someone and that you have to figure this out for yourself did you have to compare me against old boyfriends to go yeah Matt's pretty good um did I have to compare you no I didn't have to compare you to know that you were pretty good when you didn't cheat on me within the first like couple of weeks and actually you're like i'm done yeah when you said nice things to me and then like actually followed through with those nice things with actions and i was like oh my god he wow this isn't that bad and he has a mattress and like yeah it was amazing is that all it took the mattress no look with the bed frame a bed frame yeah and clean sheets and oh my god when i walked in there and you had clean sheets and also had pillowcases on your pillows i was like

wow this is this is it for me I was trying way too hard then for you no I realized I don't know I just got lucky with you if it wasn't for the bachelor I think I'd be fucked right now would be when you were in your early 20s were you viewing relationships in a way where you're thinking is this going to be long term or were you just there having fun no when I was in my early 20s like my first real relationship like you know boyfriend out of school and everything else like He was the loveliest, kindest, nicest guy, like an absolute angel and then it was too boring and it wasn't exciting and then I, you know, for 10 years chased the bad boy on repeat.

So you ended it with him? I ended it with him and then I just dated, you know, emotionally unavailable men on repeat until I met you. Were you then, that first guy who was lovely, were you then going to yourself, shit, I'll let the good one go? I never, no, I didn't think I let the good one go. I thought to myself, I wish, I wish that I could meet someone who treated me like that, but I felt this level of intensity for, do you know what I mean? Like I thought, cause I didn't ever have that level of intensity for him. It was for

me, you know, it was lovely and pleasant, but it wasn't like the relationship, but I only had that level of intensity with the relationships that were all very dramatic. And now looking back, I realized the reason why the intensity was there was because there was so much drama and then when we met it's actually I mean this is probably me just psychoanalyzing myself the problem is the drama was there but you weren't the drama the drama was like all of the women that we were competing against and like the reality tv part of it like there was so much drama and intensity that you were very like normal and kind and wonderful and stable and just like the perfect person and as soon as that was starting to wear off i then got you pregnant

you did it i was like but i just like all of my needs for the craziness was met but it was met by an experience not by you if that makes sense so like i yeah i got very lucky with how it all worked out but i just think when you're 23 you have to figure out this stuff for yourself do you know what i think is an amazing effort are those people who get together when they're like 17, 18, and they end up marrying that person. I know. That's wow. That's the gold standard. I don't know how I would react to this one. My grandfather passed away last week at the age of 95. Today we had the viewing for him. I don't know if this is just a Catholic thing, but it happens a few days before the funeral. My partner told me he could not get off work in time to make the

viewing at 4.30, which was fine. He had been there for my family and was taking the day off for the funeral anyway. The main annoying thing though was that I didn't want our two-year-old daughter to attend. I was hoping that he could stay at home with her. Now, while I'm at the viewing, he messages me to confess that he actually did leave work early today and had gone to his mate's place for a game tournament that they do every year. This had been planned for quite some time. I'd forgotten about it with my grandfather's death and also the fact that I am three weeks postpartum. We have a three-week-old and a two-year-old together. Usually he is a great dad and never avoids looking after the kids, et cetera, et cetera. But my main issue is the lie and that

ultimately he chose his friends over me and the initial lie about having to work. Am I overreacting with postpartum hormones or is this a deal breaker? His excuse was that he didn't want to see a body and didn't know how to tell me that which is actually just rubbish because he could have stayed home with our daughter who i didn't want to come with me to the viewing anyway what game was it was it pokemon i don't know call of duty it's called duty i get it uh what is it what a warcraft isn't that what people play yeah yeah it's a game game tournaments fucking hell imagine saying i have to stay back at work and i can't go to the viewing so you have to take the two-year-old the newborn baby to your grandfather's like pre-funeral arrangements

and you fucking lie to go and do a gaming tournament with your friends i would be so furious i would flip out yeah i oh my gosh how do you okay i mean obviously no you're not overreacting with postpartum hormones but how do you even come back from that i don't know i don't know that frustration would be burning inside of me if that if I was in her situation that unfortunately is one of the most pathetic bits of behavior I've heard from a person in a very long time I think that there's sometimes things that happen in relationships like obviously you're always going to have conflict that you have to try and resolve and come back from and you'll be annoyed at each other and then you make up and you love each other again there are sometimes

things that happen in relationships that fundamentally shift the way that you feel or see your partner. Like to me, that would give me the biggest ick that it's not just one of those things where you can wait a little bit of time and then you get over it and it softens. I do think it's one of those instances where you want your partner to show up, especially in grief. When you've lost someone that you love, you want your partner to show up in every way, not just be like, oh yeah, he was supportive of the family for a week or so, but then this game tournament came up, which he prioritized and was more important to him. I don't know. I feel like that this for me would be something that would linger for a very long time. So the fact that you're questioning,

whether it's postpartum hormones or that you're the crazy one, I just want to reassure you that you are actually so incredibly reasonable in this situation. I think that remove having a three week old baby, anyone who experienced this would be hugely disappointed. Like, I mean, it just shows a lack of priorities it shows a lack of honesty and as you said Matt like it just feels so pathetic it feels like such a pathetic thing to prioritize and I know that it's not just the gaming but you saying that he chose to be with his mates he was able to get off work it was 4 30 and that's what he chose to do rather than being there to support you I would really fucking struggle to come back from this in a way that felt like we could get back to where we were I know you you will and

you kind of have to because you've got a three-week-old baby but it's going to take a lot of repair work to get back to a place where you don't feel resentful yeah my only hope is that this guy is able to do some self-reflection look at how he's behaved and be really remorseful about his actions I just hope that's how he's going to handle the situation and my biggest fear is that she's going to be really upset he's going to meet that with you're overreacting this is ridiculous that to me could just go south so quickly yeah but the thing is is like okay even if that is what happens right like he he meets us with defensiveness she has to just get over it which i'm sure she will like if it's met with defensiveness i'm sure like they're not going

to separate over this how do you get over that yeah but that's just it right like you just push it down you don't actually ever get fully over it you just become a bit resentful and like the next time you have an argument in the back of your head you're thinking oh that's right when my grandfather died yeah you fucking went to the game tournament you piece of shit that's always going to fuel the frustration for following events. Yeah. It's like this stuff doesn't get resolved unless there's actually a resolution, unless there's some sort of acknowledgement or actual understanding of how he's let you down in this, because otherwise you're just going to put it in a box. You're going to put it in the wardrobe and then you're going to deal with

all that emotional baggage later. And I think he's really failed you in a time where you need so much support. Like he shouldn't be going to a gaming tournament and you've got a three week baby he should be getting you water if you're breastfeeding or like he should be there helping with the two-year-old the fact that you had to manage all of that yourself just it feels deeply selfish of him yeah imagine if he walked in he's like but i won look at the trophy you wouldn't believe it top score sorry sorry sorry all right guys well look that is it from us it is very late it's actually 11 11 i lied there you go 11 11 your angel number that's your lucky number it's lucky numbers it means something good is happening this podcast record that's like i'm dying to go

to bed i'm i cannot wait i've already showered i have to brush my teeth i have a nice stink and i cannot wait to hop into bed oh and have a little snuggle go to sleep thank you so much for joining us on the podcast it's been a pleasure i've had a lot of fun and also two doting dads what a great podcast what a great show that is just say if you want to laugh about parenting and how tough it is come over to the dark side a lot of people a lot of people actually life is who are trying to no don't don't you try and solicit our life is over to you why else would i do this episode a lot of people their life is and their dotas and their dotas and then a few have actually said i'm no longer a lifer that's not true i'm just a dota that's not true i've never been happier why are

you doing this what's wrong with you because i need the listeners hopefully people have already checked out before this part of the episode and they stay with laugh and cut anyway we're gonna to go to bed have a snuggle i'll go have a shower first we are not snuggling just a cuddle that you know for a fact that we will have our little kiss good night just one kiss and then i'll roll over and that will be that will be it then we'll be like okay you go south i go north but this is your reminder that the podcast is back to normal programming as of next week the holiday is officially coming to a close brit is also coming back i know that she's been over in italy for quite some time well actually only five weeks there's not quite some time but she's coming

back for a job which means that she'll be here for a few months before she heads back over and i'm so looking forward to getting back into the podcast for 2026 it feels like it's been a very long time i mean i've enjoyed the holiday but i've missed you guys that's it thank you matt for joining missed you guys too thank you for joining us pleasure me in our dining room you're welcome i love you and that's it from us you know the drill tell your mom tell your dad tell your Don't tell your friends and share the love because we love love.