Life Uncut - ASK UNCUT - You can't resuscitate a dead starfish

Episode Date: September 28, 2022

Hello Lifer, it's therapy Thursday where we answer all your deep dark and burning questions.BUT FIRST! Is the Bachelor doneski for good? It has been announced that the recent series that was shot with three Bachelors is being rested until next year, and well.... we have some feelings.Then we get into your questions and this week we have some goodies! I've just gotten back into the dating game, went on a date and he was truly great! When we got back to my house, the sex was super disappointing. We did it again in the morning (sober) and it was just as bad... My question is can you teach someone to be good at sex and is the effort worth it? Last night while having sex, the guy I've been dating whispered in my ear "my chubby, little whore." I'm not kink shaming him, but I was offended by what he said and I don't know how to talk about it with him I caught a glimpse of a snapchat conversation that my brother in law of 20 years was having with someone that is not my sister. I THINK I saw it come through from the other person and it said "I love you." I'm not sure what to do, as I'm not entirely sure what I saw... If you're a cheeky peach and want to get yourself a copy of our book WE LOVE LOVE - Jump on our website here www.lifeuncutpodcast.com.au it is hitting the shelves on Wednesday 5th and we don't want you to miss it!If you loved the episode, you know the drill - Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends and share the love... because.... WE LOVE LOVE! xxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders, past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode is recorded on Gadigal land of the Aurora Nation. Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. And I'm Brittany.

And this is Ask Uncut, our down and dirty, sexy little saucy number where we answer your deep, your dark, and your burning questions. How funny is it when... Ten. Ten funnies. so this morning you know we're mid-morning now but i got up early went for a little walk around with delilah down to the park got a coffee you know i haven't brushed my hair yet didn't put any makeup on you know one of those days you're like let's just get up get up and adam oh yeah

yep yep all right it's just essentially what i know what's coming yeah yeah so essentially what i'm saying is those days where you're like i'm just gonna let my natural best self my natural beauty shine through i'm just gonna be i'm gonna be okay with waking up makeup less walking out the house and being one with how i actually look in the world yeah like who i really am and then i was in the home office waiting for laura and producer keisha to come over and still hadn't got changed or anything so i'm active where i didn't put any makeup on still hadn't brushed my hair and laura walks in and she's like oh babe are you all right and i was like what do you mean she's like yeah you don't look great like you're keeping crying like this looks like a lot been

going on and i just had that moment where i was like wow this is just what i look like this is me with no smoke and mirrors no natural light no makeup no hair and it's like it reminded me when one time ever one time to work I didn't wear makeup at all I was like I'm gonna be all natural I was in the hospital and I remember walking in I reckon 10 people that day said to me are you sick are you unwell and I was like oh my god I just don't have any makeup on no I'm sorry in my defense that is not what happened I said are you okay you look like you had been crying because you had super red eyes had nothing to do with makeup had nothing to do with fresh skin we're all here for it it was because your eyes were red and you said yeah actually I've been feeling really unwell I don't

know what's wrong with me but I said I don't feel great no yes but that was a cover-up because you said you don't look great you're like no yeah I feel actually no yeah I must feel like shit because I look like shit yeah totally I haven't been sleeping well do you know what the problem with you Brit is that you do always wear makeup like you're always very well put together and that's not the problem with you like that you're great but you're always putting together okay the difference is I never am I never really ever wear makeup so anytime I do wear makeup people like you look amazing today but no one ever really says to my face that you look shit because I think I look like shit 99.9% of the time because you cannot wear makeup you are a natural beauty

I'm not shut up oh shut up anyway that was our start to the day we're finally sitting down in of each other a couple of coffees deep and we're getting to your question no do you know what I want to get to first what so it's something that came out in the intimacy challenge or yeah look the intimacy challenge is it's been challenging put it that way Matt we kind of stopped talking about it didn't we it's been not really many updates recently I don't think I mean correct me if I'm wrong I don't think you have many updates we know we have been intimate do you know what Matt and I had a fight in last night we went for dinner and I tried to hold his hand I was like being I was like being nice I was like being a loving partner and I don't know

I tried to hold his hand well has anyone else experienced this like you've gone out for dinner or you've done something with your partner maybe you've been to a party whatever it is and you feel like you have been particularly cuddly and and like affectionate and then they just haven't met you with that affection because maybe they didn't notice or they kind of weren't in the mood for it whatever the reason is so then I progressively got more annoyed at him so then I started playing a game where I was like oh now I'll try and hold his hand if he doesn't hold my hand I'll just get angrier on the inside because you yeah because you're almost to the point where you're like I want to get angry now so do one more thing oh yeah do one more thing to piss me off then I tried

to give him a kiss and he pulled away from me I was like oh oh well we'll have a fight when we get home he pulled away and we did why did he why did he pull away just wasn't into it didn't want to kiss me in the middle of his vindaloo I guess he not understand how the intimacy challenge works maybe he's just sick of being intimate now he's like I've had enough make it stop okay so that is your update on the intimacy challenge okay but that wasn't what I wanted to talk to you about there's been something that came out it was last week so we're a bit old on the news front but it's important to my life and well not that important to your life but I want to talk about it anyway The Bachelor you might have seen if you've been following along the rag trade The Bachelor has

been postponed until next year and now we kind of have been having these conversations for the past few months we assumed this was coming because so my five-year anniversary with matt was three weeks ago which means that it was the final episode of our season three weeks would have aired three or four weeks ago so that's how far behind this year's season of bachelor is like it's come it's gone the time period for it to be on tv is well and truly past except we all know that they did all this pre-publicity and pre-promotion for the bachelor back in like what was it april or may or something and it's we've got three bachelors this year it's a new format it was filmed in queensland and then radio silence crickets absolute crickets so i've been

thinking about things and i have a few feelings either the bachelors filming like this season was so monumentally shit that they've decided to shift it into next year or can it all together but obviously what's happened so the love boat it's this new reality tv show it's the new dating show that channel 10 is putting on you go on a boat you go on a boat i feel like it's a weird cross between like love island and below deck they've just tried to hybrid the show yeah or just like what are those giant cruise ships princess the princess what's the giant cruise ship but you're telling the story i've been on it docks in sydney the biggest guys come on okay scrap that pretty excuse what they must have done is they've obviously looked at the edits because

they're not going to run two romance shows back to back they've obviously looked at the cutdowns at the show itself and being like the love boat has more potential. The love boat we think is going to rate better than The Bachelor because if they thought The Bachelor was going to be a fucking huge success this year, there's no way that they would have parked it to an indefinite date in 2023. I also have a lot of feelings. Come at me.

I feel like this year. Wait, when you were like I have a lot of feelings, I thought you were going to say no one gives a fuck. And I actually think no one does. No, I care to the point that I want to discuss it. This is not keeping me up at night. But I think, and it's a big call, but this year I think The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, and The Bachelorette has,

I think it should have been rested. I think this year we needed to have a break from it for just one year, 12 months, and then move forward into next year with something maybe a little bit fresher, a new vibe. But I think it was very obvious with what was happening in the media, people's reactions. Feel the board. It needed to be rested.

and turns out it did need to be rested because they have decided to rest it the problem is they filmed it they've shot it they put the money in they put months of people's time in there are hopefully three relationships out there now because there's three suitors the three male bachelors this year three relationships out there now that are supposed to what survive the next a 12-month period potentially a 12-month period of a secret relationship I don't think that is going to be possible. So I understand why they're doing it. They've decided that, okay, this is probably not going to be received that well this year. Great. I don't think it would have been either. Let's put this new love show on. Australians love new shows. We love new reality

TV shows. I love new reality TV shows. Hey, I'm on one soon. I think that this show will be received very well, but you've shot yourself in the foot. What should have happened is we probably should have waited the 12 months and just filmed it next year because now the excitement's gone a little bit these three bachelors have been released way too early their relationships are not big call they're not going to last I would be so surprised if in 12 months time when it is any of those relationships are still going strong because you can't live in secrecy well I mean so for anyone who doesn't kind of know and if you've if you've been listening to the podcast for a while you might already know this kind of how the setup of the bachelor works but Matt and I had to keep our

relationship secret for about five and a half months before filming had started and it's really challenging because it's not so much just keeping your relationship secret it's not like you can sneak across to each other's houses because the bachelors have been announced so paparazzi know exactly who the bachelors are so they won't you like a hawk yeah and so they're not anonymous anymore they're not able to just live their lives in secrecy so you are literally doing six months or five and a half months of long distance that's what matt and i did we got to see each other a couple of times but it was all organized through channel 10 there was security guards there it was in a blacked out room we got driven uh in wigs and coats and like costumes basically in disguises

we got driven out to an Airbnb in Richmond we got to stay there for like one night or two nights and it was fully security guarded up they had all the windows blacked out so no one could take photos into the house and that's how Matt and I got to see each other during that five and a half month period had they made us do a year of that situation I think that the stress and I'm not saying that we wouldn't have worked out that that stress and that secrecy would have had a real toll on our ability to have a healthy and great relationship and I think that they have as much as The Bachelor because like unlike maths and some of the other reality tv shows they really care about having the success love story at the end of it but the thing is is that they've shot themselves in the

foot they now have three suitors they have an entire season and the likelihood of having any successful relationships off the back of it is almost moot I do think that they will still air it though this is what i don't think they're gonna can it completely when you think of how much money when are they gonna play it they're gonna play it alongside maths like the juggernaut are they gonna so math starts in january it's not gonna go up against maths no it's not gonna be early in the year so it'll be mid-year or then it's lego masters no it'll be probably when it usually yeah and that's the number one show on tv it'll be where it usually is which i just think i just don't think they're not gonna air it at all because that would be such a huge waste of money

that let's be real people in australian tv they don't have the money to throw away anymore so if they've invested this and all think of how much it would have cost for the production three months worth of everyone that works on it behind the scenes the post-processing the talent everything like this is a very large amount of money so i can't wait to watch the bachelor at 4 p.m in june next year it's gonna be great streaming the other thing is i don't know if you saw this and I don't know if I believe it or not but one of the bachelor guys was seen online dating oh I believe it recently he got caught out saying well here's your dating profile obviously it didn't work out and he then went and said no no that's old from before I filmed I just forgot to delete

it but I I think I'm calling their bluff that old chestnut that's the that's the exact same excuse my ex-boyfriend used to use yeah same 25 times it's an old profile I swear it's dormant yes right well we've all heard that before you know it has active five minutes ago on it right all right let's get into the questions from you guys thanks to everybody who's written in questions today we have some real doozies and a couple that are kind of tricky to answer actually we're gonna give it our best shot okay i am going to kick start with last weekend i finally got back into the dating scene after exiting a toxic relationship four months ago get it get it girl the date went pretty well it was our first time meeting after matching on bumble and safe to say

he checked a lot of boxes for a first date kind good chat gentlemen you get my drift after a few drinks together we made our way back to my house all was going very well now i hate to say it but the sex was super super disappointing even in the morning when we were sober so we can't even blame the fact that we had had some drinks it just felt like a dead starfish was laying on top of me and he didn't seem to know the first thing about female orgasm. My question is, can you teach someone to be good at sex and is it worth the effort? He's 28 and I'm 25.

I just feel like he should probably know by now. Hey, maybe he nailed it. Maybe he was going for the starfish technique and he nailed it. I don't think anyone enjoys that though. Why would you be going for that? Maybe he would. Okay, yes, you may have been sober after the night out. Maybe he wasn't.

Like maybe he wasn't at peak performance. Maybe he can do better. I think give him another chance. She did. She said in the morning they had sober sex. But like maybe he wasn't sober. Maybe she was feeling sober and he was still really tired and it had been a big night.

He was sober. No, we're not throwing him a bone. I think if you really like him and he's great in all other aspects and he is a great, great guy, just give it another chance. And if the sex is monumentally so bad, because there's only so much that you can teach, right? You can, you can, you can take an eight to a 10, you can take a five to a seven, but I don't think you can take a five to a 10. If the starfish is already deceased, you cannot bring that back to life.

You can't resuscitate a dead starfish. No, look, I'm, all jokes aside, you definitely can teach someone sex. You can teach someone intimacy. You can teach someone the way you like it. And that's the thing. it's it's actually not that common to go and have like a one-night stand or meet someone for the first time and it to be explosive amazing perfect perfect fit you both like the same things that like that is pretty rare the whole idea is when you meet someone is you all have your moves everyone

has their key moves everyone has their signature moves you know what you like it's different but you need to find the compatibility you need to work together to work out what works well so I 100% would be giving this guy another go if he was amazing and a gentleman and the chat was there and you got along and you actually liked him as a human being go for it again let's give the guy the benefit of the doubt let's think that he can do better let's think that he can learn and so I think maybe next time you need to take the lead so maybe don't just let let the dead starfish lay on you and crush you to a slow death take the lead get up on top we'll do anything just try and jazz it up if you put the effort in and you're really trying and and he's not picking up the

signals and he's not doing anything he's not bringing anything to the table you guys are sober then yeah maybe this isn't your person but the question is can you teach someone sex yes you can 100% get better in a relationship or in friends with benefits or whatever you can 100% get better I do agree I think sex gets better and better the more you know someone and the more you know what they like and like how to kind of get them off quickly as well like you know you can kind of get in the early days, you're kind of still sussing each other out. And also what a lot of people do is they use the moves that they think their ex liked. Do you know what I mean? Like they're doing sex in a way that has worked for them in the past. And maybe that isn't the way that it

works for you. And that's totally fine. We're all different. We all enjoy different things. I think exactly, I agree a hundred percent. Give him another go. And I do think that you can improve someone's sexual prowess. However, here's my question, Britt. Have you ever had and a monumentally dud route that you have been able to get them to a 10. Like I just don't think I've ever had a situation in my life where sex has been so bad and then it's gone to a place where it's incredible.

I have never had it from, I haven't had it from a dud to a 10, but I've had it from not great to a 10. Yeah, 100%. Really? Yeah, I've dated people like that before, like, you know, where you've dated for a couple of months and because they just don't get, I mean, they don't, they have to learn what you like and what your groove is.

And once I've 100% done that, but like you guys have to commit. and you have to really like a project that's what i get brit loves the people project i do she's like likes to leave men better than the way she found them yeah so that the next person that finds them has like the fucking most amazing relationship ever yeah you are welcome everyone out there that is dating my exes okay i think yes look give it another go don't like throw in the towel straight away have sex a few more times be very verbal like that's the other thing as well right like sometimes we don't want to ask for what we want in the bedroom because we feel a bit uncomfortable or awkward and we try and do more subtle things or try and we try and suggest

that we want something but we try and do it in a really subtle way and sometimes subtlety just doesn't work ask for what you want if you want them to put their hand there tell them to put their hand there if you want them to put their mouth there tell them to put their mouth there but I understand and I'm going to say this there's a lot of people out there that don't have the confidence to say that even in a relationship yet let alone the early days so if you don't have the confidence to verbally say do this to me do that to me you can show them without the verbal dialogue you can roll over or you could just say let's do it you can roll over just roll over and lay there you can do the prone starfish you can up supine starfish prone starfish

sideways starfish at the end of the day don't give up on this guy he seems like a nice guy and a gentleman and i think we need to everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt hey do you know what he might have gone back to his friends and said the same thing he might have said oh she was no good in the bedroom because maybe he thought he was doing a good job and he thought you weren't coming to the table. You don't know. So let's definitely give this another whirl. All right, I've been seeing a guy for a few months now.

I've recently learnt that he has a few rather unique kinks, which is so fine. No shame here. But last night while we were doing the deed, he whispered to me, my chubby little whore, and then asked me whether I mind when he grabs my tummy because he likes it. I mean, go off, sis, you do you.

but I don't know if I feel comfortable with this and I kind of feel offended I don't think I'm a big girl but I do have a bit of chub so it's fair but what do I make of this and how do I get past this sincerely a non-kink shaming but kind of self-conscious gal oh I have there are so many layers to this that I want to peel off the first I don't even know if it's the first and foremost they're all first and foremost when you just said my chubby little whore you just said but I do have a little bit of chub so it's fair that to me is such an untrue and unnecessary statement to say that you have a little bit of chub so you should be called a chubby whore is so far from the truth like fair he wants to call me chubby no that is absolutely not fair in my books I want to start

by saying that secondly you don't have to be called anything you don't want to be called in the bedroom I understand that kinks are a two-way street people have different things they get them off that is totally totally fine but this just has to come down to a conversation this has to come down to an adult conversation where you say I don't like it when you call me this so maybe he gets off by calling you different things or different names maybe there's some other way Maybe he just likes to verbally speak to you. There can be something, some sort of agreement between the two of you that you can reach where he can call you something or a statement or say whatever that you are actually happy

with. But you're going to dry up real quick if he is saying things to you in the bedroom like this that make you feel uncomfortable and turned off and self-conscious. Like at the end of the day, this is bad for everybody involved. So you just need to be very, very vocal with saying, hey, I actually don't really like it when you like say that to me it doesn't turn me on it's not getting me wet it's not getting me horny like I I actually want to stop having sex with you right now okay the big thing about this and I think this is quite interesting is like what part of it is the offensive part

is it the fact that he's calling you a whore or is it the fact that he's calling you chubby or is it both is it the whole thing because like are you someone who really likes dirty talk do you like being called a little whore like some people do and that's totally cool I think it's the chubby part because she then says he grabs her tummy when he says it so he says the chubby part and grabs her tummy totally and I guess the big thing in this is that there's so many layers to this part of me my very first my very first thing that I think is like why is being chubby so offensive like why do we think of that as being such an offensive thing to be called which obviously like he gets off on it he doesn't think it's something that should be found offensive it's

something he's super sexually aroused by so like in saying that he means it as a compliment society tells us that being called chubby is not a compliment and I totally get that I totally get that that feels degrading and it feels offensive I do think that there's like a bigger thing to unpack here around fat phobia and like why we see that as being such a problem when it truly fucking isn't and everybody has has fat on them we all should have well I shouldn't say we should but like we all do have fat on us and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that when it comes back down to kinks and it comes back down to what you're comfortable with. Kinks are a conversation first. It's never just in the bedroom. You whip out what you want and then hope that the other

person's okay with it. It should be an out of bedroom conversation about where your boundaries lie and where their boundaries lie, because his kinks are not more important than what makes you feel self-conscious or what you are okay with. And I think that that's the bigger question and the bigger conversation there. You're not shaming him by saying that you don't like something that he likes. That's not shameful, but at the same time, he's putting you in a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable. And I think ultimately when it comes down to sex, nobody should ever be doing something that makes them feel uncomfortable, that makes them feel more self-conscious just to please another person. Also, to be honest, he sounds like he's done

the right thing. He sounds pretty great. He said to you, do you mind when I grab your tummy like this? Like he has asked you the question and I feel like maybe you're in a position where you felt like you almost had to do that because you wanted him to get off then you've tried it which is amazing you've realized you don't like it that's it so it's and he's asked you really openly if it's okay I'm sure he's going to be very open to the conversation in reverse if you then come back and say I'm actually not happy with that he's going to be okay because he was he's polite enough to ask you in the first place and respectful enough to ask you if that was okay totally and my big bet is that a lot of people are not okay with it a lot of people would feel super uncomfortable

being called that. And you are allowed to change your mind. You said yes, you are now allowed to say no. That yes doesn't commit to the rest of eternity because one time you said it was okay to do it. All right. Sitting next to my brother-in-law of nearly 20 years in the car a couple of days ago, I caught a glimpse of a Snapchat conversation he was having with someone that is not my sister. And I know for sure that it wasn't her. She was driving at the time. I didn't see the whole conversation but I clearly saw a message from the other person that said I love you. I think the person's name on Snapchat was Ali or something similar and there is no one in our family or his life by that name. I'm also confident it's not his mum or sister because they have never

been affectionate like that before. I'm not sure what to do. Do I ignore it? Who knows what I actually saw? Do I confront him or flag her with my sister first? I think part of my concern is the preconceived idea that hiding things in Snapchat is really easy because it obviously disappears. Any advice appreciated? So you think you saw something, you think you saw a name, not a hundred percent. Could he be cheating? What does it mean? This, this is hard because you're not sure what you saw. You could fuck a lot of stuff up by not being sure. Okay, and the way I'm thinking, right, is what you thought you saw was a name that you're not sure about.

It could have been Ali, could have been Alid, could have been Alexander, could have been a friend, could have been a lot of things. But also – Could have been Cali Press. I love coffee too. Cali Press? How would Ali be? Oh, just like she misspelled the C?

I mean, you're at a stretch there. Did not land. There's a coffee shop down the road called Cali Press, and it is very good. You are – that is a stretch, Laura Baird. But the other thing that gets me here is when you said, I think I saw love you or something similar I think to my friends all the time I would say that to a lot of people in terms of not saying oh my god I love you but if I was having a banter situation or someone sent me a funny gif or they reminded me of something I would say something

like oh my god I bloody love you you know in that term like we both told our boss that we loved him this morning we spoke to Richie our boss and he said something and we were like fuck I love you I think we need to clarify this hang on just for like um for radio world and there's no other weird relationship going on it was like it was a funny thing and we're like bloody love you do you know what Richie helped me secure a really exciting thing well us secure a really exciting thing for our live show it's a surprise and when that all happened I said I love you yeah I did and if Matt saw that and he didn't have any context he would have been like why are you telling your boss that you love him but a yes it's very exciting the live show is amazing come buy some tickets if you

haven't already there's still a couple left but secondly that's my point the word love you now can be thrown around and used in so many different ways if you don't know the context you're not going to understand so a you don't know the context b you don't know the person's name for sure c you don't for sure know that it was love you because you're unsure it's just what you thought you saw there is a lot going on here now on the other hand yes there is a high chance you could be cheating because it's snapchat that's what it's designed for it's designed so that you can do whatever you want say whatever you want and it disappears you're in a bit of a predicament because obviously you're close to your sister, you've seen something. Your question is, do you

just bring it up with your sister or do you go to him first? I am unsure. This could be playing with a lot of fire if there is no proof. Is their relationship sound? Is it amazing in every other aspect? Have they had queries in the past of infidelity? Do they argue a lot? Is it long-term and secure? What are the levels here? Is this going to be something that's really out of the blue like you think this guy's the best guy ever they're together forever and you're like this is very very unusual for him but I would go to him before her oh see no no I would go to her okay that's a lot to go to so but I would go to her and be like very casual hey I do not know what I saw but I think I saw this on so-and-so's snapchat I don't know if you have an open phone policy in

your relationship I don't know if this is something you can bring up with him I don't know if it's something that you can ask to see his Snapchat. It made me feel uncomfortable. And I want to tell you because I don't want to keep secrets. I'm not accusing him of anything, but I want you to know what I know so far. If this was my sister and I'm thinking about my sister and her relationship and their marriage, if I saw something on Mikey, that's her husband's phone. And I wasn't sure. And I felt it made me feel that uncomfortable that I needed to write into a podcast to get advice. I would just go and have a conversation with her first. But I also would very much want to be like, I am not accusing I'm not saying that he has done something wrong I'm just saying whatever I saw

made me feel uncomfortable do you know what it could be well this is interesting because for the first time ladies and gentlemen Laura and I have polar opposite answers I think like what you said it's fine but I would go to the guy purely because I would ask the same thing of him I feel like this is actually pretty funny I feel like I'm a good judge of character lol but yeah not when it comes to any but you know people character and also people's reactions if you put him on the spot and you say to him hey I saw everything on your phone from Ali saying that you love him like what's that about he has no time to think about that he has no time to try and come up with a lie just say I don't know what you're talking about there's nothing there yeah but you'll

you will read straight away there'll be a moment of panic on his face or you will get a vibe this is what I think right and then he's going to come and say whatever he's going to say he's going to make it up oh that was a friend about this this that you're going to get a vibe but I think before you go and explode a whole relationship with her with your sister I would think it through because you're actually not sure of anything, which is why it's really hard because you don't want to start planting seeds and doubt in a relationship when there is nothing to base it on. So I would be just getting a little feel from him, just a little feel, and then you can go to her. But I would, my first stop would be him. You might decide that you're going to go to her regardless

in the end, but you just want to see what he says first. I'm not saying get the vibe from him and then decide to go to her, but you're going to get a feel and you're going to be able to go in with a be more confidence okay so if you saw something in Matt's phone you would go to Matt first before you would say anything to me if I saw on Matt's phone if I ever saw his shoulder texting a girl and he said love you yes I'd probably ask him okay so I guess my feeling about that is because I do have such an open phone policy with Matt where if you came to me and said hey I saw something that I don't know what I saw I would be so fine and confident to go to Matt and say hey this is a really weird conversation Brit has told me this what's going on and he would say

here's my phone here's my Instagram here's my Snapchat have a look like I feel like because our relationship is open around especially around phones and communication like that he would be like here have a look and then that would put my mind at ease but I don't think Matt would say here Brit have a look to put your mind at ease so I think like I guess in what I'm saying is is that I had that open communication with my partner and so it feels like that's the conversation i would want to navigate with them as opposed to somebody else trying to do it for me well i wouldn't navigate i would still go to her i'm not navigating it but i just because you're so unsure i feel like speaking to him and getting a reaction from him and an

explanation is going to make you a bit more sure one way or the other like you're going to get a bit more confidence to be like yeah nah this this isn't right then you can go to her and say hey i saw this i just did see this and i asked him and it was a bit his answer was a bit fucking weird you know like I'm not sure about that I don't know if you guys want to check that out but that's what I'd be doing but it's difficult there's no right or wrong answer here at all and you don't know for you Laura amazing you guys have a very open relationship with your phones not everyone has that so you don't know what's going to go down in that relationship if she goes and demands to see his phone it could start something over nothing who knows so I would be putting the

feelers out with him gauging his reaction but again Laura and I have different answers on this one so I think it's like you know the situation better than us and you know what they're like as individuals and their relationship better than us but I also think like you nailed it there is no right and wrong answer there is no perfect way to navigate this even if you decided to not say anything at all in this situation that wouldn't be the wrong thing to do like because you don't have all the tools you don't have all the information if you said okay I'm actually just gonna not do or say anything that would be a perfectly fine response as well because you are potentially blowing up a lot of shit without a lot of proof. And that's a pretty big thing to go

into this conversation with as well. But on the back of that guys, we want to do another update of Ask Uncut. We want your answers. If you have ever written into us or your friend has written into us and we've answered your question and there's something that has come out of that, we want to know what it was. So this is a prime example. Like I probably am going to lose sleep over knowing if this girl goes and tells her sister. Or just take his phone and go through it. When he's gone to the toilet or something, go through his phone. Go through his Snapchat.

Well, it's gone. It disappears. Yeah, but can't you see? Okay, wait. I mean, you're speaking to the wrong person. I don't have Snapchat. I don't have Snapchat. Does it not say that you can see that there was a message

and then it's disappeared or there's no trace of anything? Well, I think if you wanted to, you could just delete the whole trace. There's no trace of anything. Oh. Oh, so you can see that stuff. Okay, Producer Keisha's giving us the update. She's giving us the 411. So you get like this message was sent.

Go through his phone. Stalk his phone. I'm fine with that. Fucking go through it. Don't check your partner's phone. Just check your sister's partner's phone. It's fine. Well, what I'm saying is we want to do an Ask Uncut aftermath again.

We want to update you guys on this. But I would personally love an update on this. I want to know what happened. Did you go to your sister? Did you go to him? Did you pretend it didn't happen? What did you do? Did you steal his phone?

Did you stalk him? Did you stay outside his house for five weeks straight to see if he did anything wrong? We want to know the answer. So if we've ever answered any of your questions or your friends' questions, please write in to the DMs, Life Uncut Podcast on Instagram, and you know that's where you send your questions. Just say Ask Uncut, but it's also where you send your Ask Uncut aftermaths. It is also less than a week until We Love Love.

The book that Britt and I both wrote is out. So if you haven't gotten yourself a pre-order copy yet, jump onto Life Uncut Podcast. That's our website. You can find the link on there to get yourself a book. And the reason for that is because it may be sold out in some places before it even comes out. Well, that's what we hope.

Yeah, fingers crossed. Anyway, guys, that is it from us. And you know the drill. Don't forget to tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends and share the love because we love love.