Life Uncut - ASK UNCUT - you're not "TOO BIG" buddy

Episode Date: May 18, 2022

Firstly our lovely lifers, we wanna know, have you ever heard a guy say that he can't wear a condom because they're too small/he's too big? Well a tiktoker has done you research for you and spoiler alert, he was lyyyyying.Next up we jump into your deep dark and burning questions! How do you stop someone from playing aggressive tongue hockey with you? I've been seeing a guy for a few months and he's told me that I wear the same perfume as his ex girlfriend. They were together for 6 years. He very politely said that he would be happy to get me a new perfume that I like as a present, as my perfume reminds him of his ex. I can't decide if I'm a bit offended by this or if it's reasonable. I had a breast reduction a few years ago and the procedure didn't go to plan leaving me with bad scarring that is raised and keloid. I'm newly single and am ready to date again but I am so nervous about this 'deformity' on my breasts. Should I tell new partners before I sleep with them? If you have a question you'd like us to answer, send them into lifeuncutpodcast on instagram!Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell you dog, tell your friend and share the love because we love love!! xxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders, past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode is recorded on Gadigal land of the Aurora Nation. Well, it's been an interesting start to the day. Hasn't it just? More interesting for some than others.

No, no, no. I feel good. I feel cleansed. I feel clean. I feel ready and rearing. Why don't you tell everyone why you feel cleansed and ready? I just went to the toilet in Brittany's bathroom and I don't think going to the toilet adequately describes what just happened in my bathroom.

I unleashed the depths of hell. You unleashed. Satan is here. You unleashed some serious fury. It's, okay, so our office is like down. Wait, are we recording this? Yes. This is not intro.

Just in case. Our office is down a corridor and then around a bend from the bathroom and I can still smell what happened in that bathroom. Brittany got incense out and started to like – she's got the sage stick. She's cleansing the house. It was like there was a demon in here. I was like trying to – I thought something died. I was like, has a dead possum fallen out of the roof?

But it was just Laura Byrne in my bathroom. Well, I feel better for it anyway. Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. And this is our Thursday episode. This is Ask Uncut, where we answer all of your spicy, deep, dark, and burning questions. And we have...

We have some good ones today. We have some real sexy ones today. I know we say that pretty often, but like, I really enjoyed unpacking these questions. You guys are all, well, you're, I mean, you know what, May is masturbation month. So you're all getting spicy, spicy. That is actually a great little way to start the episode. It is masturbation month. What does that mean?

You should be curiously masturbating. But why is it masturbating? Is it because it's, are there stats that like it's the month that people masturbate the most or is it just a month where we're like encouraging people to masturbate? What's the purpose? I think it's more about the alliteration. and just having a month of sexual wellness where we all embrace and literally embrace our clitoris with our fingers.

Well, I think masturbation month should be every month. I don't think people should limit masturbating to four weeks of a year. I agree. And if you're here in Brittany Hockley's house, masturbation month is masturbation night every night. Everyone is not welcome. Wow, that was coming out wrong. Everyone is welcome.

Yes, everyone should masturbate all year. You can have your own party for one at your own home is what we're saying or party for however many you want to have and do it together. like you know more it makes it more fun like Laura said we do have some spicy little questions coming up but before we do I wanted to tell you something really funny that I saw that I think everybody needs to know about like this is a PSA this is a very important public service announcement there's a video that's gone viral on the TikTok on the interwebs mate if you need us to come up with some good content you know where we're finding it these days I just love it I'm not

actually on TikTok in terms of like, I don't post, but there's so much great content that comes out of TikTok. I mean, you might not be on it, but you're lurking in the background. You always lurk because so much stuff goes down, but there's this one girl that went viral and I just lost it. It was so funny. And I think it's quite relatable. Obviously it is because it's been viewed over 14 million times. Like this video has gone bonkers, probably more by now. Has anyone ever experienced when you're hooking up with a guy, maybe it's a one night stand, maybe it's a bit more longer term but i feel like this happens usually when you're only just in the very early days with someone where you're getting frisky you're about to have sex maybe you pull out a condom because

you want him to wear a condom standard safety first and he says because you know condoms coming well i think there are some one size fits all but you can get sized condoms so you pull out a condom and the guy says oh that's too small like i'm too big for that i that will hurt you know knowing that the woman doesn't really know what that's going to feel like so she can't argue the point Do they mean the whole thing is tight? Like the whole elastic balloon is too tight? Or do they mean like the rim, like the opening? I think they mean it like it's like a turkey when it's wrapped in string.

You know when you put a turkey and it's wrapped in string and it gets too tight and it bulges out? I think when a guy says it's too tight, it's like the end circular bit that's tight and it cuts into them. That's what I think. Or just like, yeah, like compresses it like a sausage skin. See, I have a different impression of this because I've definitely dated a guy in the past who used to complain saying the condom was too tight we all know what he

he just didn't want to wear one but he was saying that it was like the part at the base of the penis was too tight like the elastic that's almost like the elastic band bit that keeps it secured he was like that is too tight for me yeah and i'm sure that like i'm sure that's a thing but not i think 99 of the time i'm sorry bro but you're not that big like the condom's gonna fit you we know we know you're trying to pull the wool over our eyes we know what you're trying to do you don't want to wear the condom then and to be honest he wasn't that big either he was he was very moderately sized so i was like well if you're having an issue with this why has nobody else ever had an issue with this well there is and i haven't even told you this video yet it's so

see how relatable it is it's so funny on that before we get into the video i have gone down a rabbit hole of penis data and it's actually way more interesting than you would think but this world data info talks about the average penis sizes by country when you say you went through uh some data of penis size. Now, was this through your own subjective research experience, Brittany? I wish. Being the single woman that you are, or was this that you actually did some Googling? Okay. No, this is definitely not research from myself, Laura. I have not had that much sex, but thank you for assuming that I have.

Subject study one. But I can do a subject study around the world. Absolutely not. No, but the data says that the average penis size is about 13 centimeters when erect. But the reason- I would have thought, yeah, okay. Like, look, I'm like mentally trying to map out everyone who's listening to this is now kind of like with their hands trying to figure out how big they think all the penises are that they've seen in their lifetime i would say yes yes about 15 centimeters is probably probably the sweet spot well the reason this information you probably like britney why is this information crucial this is crucial information so 13 centimeters to 17 is the range

the reason this is critical is because the average condom size starts at 17 centimeters so the average condom size starts at the upper end of the average penis scale meaning there is no excuse for a guy to say i'm too big and i can't fit the condom now there's this tiktok user that she experiences right there's these guys guy was like i can't possibly put that on i'm so well endowed that this will hurt it hurts it's like having a tight tourniquet my poor willy's gonna fall off the video is really slowly and she even surprised herself she starts to put the condom on her foot right to show that it can stretch over the foot and then she keeps on rolling it up and she's like wow and the music it's just the whole thing is amazing she keeps rolling it up and up

and up and look laura i'm going to show you the video now the condom stretches it looks like she's with it looks like she's wearing tights the condom goes up above her knee like knee-high boots she literally is wearing a knee-high condom that's how far it's stretched i'm interested in knowing is this like an extra extra large condom is this an average size condom i already know she just went and picked the average one off the shelf. She's like, there was no thought in this. We just, cause she's like, I didn't know it was going to actually go so long. I just thought it would go over my foot. But she's like, next time someone tells you it's too big, show them this video because it is absolutely not. And it is that excuse now does not fly. So tell your mom,

tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends. Oh my God. But also are we still living in a time where like men, I mean, I know we are, I know we are. It's been a long, I know we are, but it's been a long time since I've been in the dating game. But like the excuses that are made in order to get out of wearing a condom like condoms these days if you you know if you choose to wear them and that's that's your vibe they're so thin they're so ergonomic there's been so much well like it's like you can feel all of the sensations like the excuses are just so irrelevant now i think ladies and gentlemen and friends if you're out there and you're dating someone who's trying to like you know swindle you out of using a condom they're just a fucking jerk but i would also love

to know off the back of this if you have like a brilliant if you have heard a brilliant excuse if you've been hooking up with someone and they have given you an excuse that is so fucking far-fetched or funny as to why they can't put a condom on, I would love to hear that. So please send that in. I once dated a guy who said he had a latex allergy and I was like – That could be true. Yes, could be.

But you'll never know. I will never know. You're like, where's your allergy bracelet? I want to see that. I want to see that shit on your wrist. Yeah, I want some proof that you're going to get hives if you put this on. No, look, I remember it was very early days and I was like, hey look threw in one to put on and he was like oh sorry I can't wear this I've got a latex allergy

and I was like that wasn't said in the way that you would have said it if you had a latex allergy how what can you do for that if it's just hives or something can't you say can I test that can I put a bit on your arm or something not necessarily the willy but if maybe you could just rub it on the arm to test to see what happens because you're not going to have an anaphylactic fit surely surely it's just a rash I think what I do is I ask him to wear it around as a knee-high boot for the day all right let's get into the questions for today and for everybody i mean we still get this question quite a lot so if you guys don't know how to send us a question for ask uncut and you want one for us to answer or you've got something that's been plaguing your

mind all you have to do is jump onto at life uncut podcast on instagram send us a dm right at the top ask uncut and it will go into the mix for next week's questions it's that simple also make sure you hit follow follow follow the instagram can also follow eladian cat and britney hockley britney underscore hockley while you're at it this is just a short and sharp one to kick start just to get us going how the heck do you tell someone to stop aggressively playing tongue hockey with you that's it that's the question oh there's nothing aka they're obviously a bad kisser and there's nothing worse is there than when you you really like someone you're the energy is so high you're like the chemistry is there you're so ready for that first kiss and then you

kiss and you're like it's so bad because I I might be on my own here but kissing for me is probably like my favorite part of of foreplay like no I agree for me if it's good and the chemistry is there like that can do so much more it really just either sets the tone or not and if your eyes open in shock while you're kissing there's something not going on I was gonna say when you say it's your favorite part of foreplay I'm pretty sure it's the only foreplay we have now just kiss for two minutes we're like all right get it on roll over stick it in it's not even any tongue you're just like lips only I also think like a bad kiss can dictate how that connection then goes on to evolving so for example if you kiss someone for the first time and that kiss is beautiful and

intense and like you feel connected like that makes you like the person even more that kind of really ignites that fire in you. And if the kiss is terrible, it can set you in the opposite direction. The question being, how do you manage, how do you mitigate the situation when someone is trying to penetrate you with their tongue? That word should not be in that sentence. I do think you can say less tongue. Like I think you can say that it's definitely never hard. Yeah. It's never going to be a comfortable situation. Do you know what I think you can do though? I think you can also sometimes actually like massage the person into kissing the way that you want to kiss by do by physically doing it you know difficult but it's doable use your tongue in

the way that you want them to kiss you back because people often mirror other people's behavior right like often when you're talking to someone they'll mirror your body language often when you're caressing someone in a certain way they'll do something similar back to you because you're giving them the indication of what you like by physically doing it now I'm assuming and giving everyone the benefit of the doubt that they can read signals and not everyone can we know that like not everyone can pick up on the subtleties and some people need to be verbally told what you do and don't like so before you get like fully catch the ick and completely just walk away from the guy if the guy's great or the girl's great

whoever it is I do think you could say let's try that again but with a little bit less tongue or whoa buddy like getting a bit excited there or something that indicates that maybe you're not loving it do you know i broke up with someone once because they're a bad kisser i believe it i think heaps of people have broken up because they've dated people who are bad kisses i was 14 but i still did it like it was my first experience i was like this can't be normal well i mean 14 is different because the poor kid has had no experience but you would think when you're in your 20s and your 30s you've probably had some experience at kissing the only like i've definitely dated guys or being on like you know tinder dates or early dates where the kissing was really bad

and it turned me off wanting to continue the relationship because I was like I cannot do this for the next 60 years of my life I think it should be treated and I agree with everything you said Laura but it's a hard conversation it's I I'm trying to think of how I would say I don't wouldn't necessarily say let's try that again without with less time like I don't think that would be my approach take two hand action i think that i would first of all and this is very doable and lots of people do this you can like laura said you can coach them into what you want to do by doing it to them so like pull back a bit don't open your mouth so much so it's like don't even let that in like you don't like you don't give them an opening keep those lips taut no but you

do what you want to do and hopefully like any self every second person should be able to pick up your vibes and your energy if you've tried this if you've tried to coach them in and it's just not landing then yeah you need to have the conversation because it doesn't you everything else could be perfect but you do have to enjoy kissing them because it's something that you're going to do for the rest of your life but i don't think this should be any different to we and we're big advocates for this too sexual experiences in the bedroom if you want something in particular or you don't like something in particular we always say have the conversation like everyone on like something different you can be open about it I think the same thing can happen it's just how

you're going to actually say it to not hurt somebody's feelings well I think it's interesting that you find giving somebody kissing feedback difficult in because we've had this conversation just recently Brit in terms of like actual sexual feedback like if someone's doing something in the bedroom that is not to your liking you had said oh I have no problem with telling them like that's too rough or that's too hard or you know I don't like what you're doing there so you feel more comfortable in giving someone feedback in terms of sex but you're more comfortable doing that than what you would giving someone feedback about kissing yes I do and I yeah and I don't know why it's so interesting yeah maybe because maybe because I feel like people are more particular

about what they like in the bedroom but I find it easier 100% to say that I like something different in the bedroom as opposed to kissing because I feel like people would take more offense to the kissing thing. I don't know. I feel like it's more of a sensitive topic because people usually think, you know what I think, people, particularly guys, probably think that they question how good they are sometimes in the bedroom.

I think that there's a lot of performance anxiety and a lot of pressure on men sometimes, but I think every man thinks he's a good kisser. Like it's questionable in the bedroom, but I think every guy thinks he's a great kisser. So to hear that he's not, he's like, fuck, I've been making out like this for 15 years. And I do also think it all comes back to this idea that like not everyone likes the same thing and some people think that you know to show how much they like you like a

really passionate big open mouth kiss with lots of tongue is what's going to make you realize that they're super into the relationship or whatever it is you know like they're just like super eager to impress you or please you and maybe they've been in relationships with somebody who really enjoyed that style of kissing like literally everyone likes things differently and there's no one shape fits all for anyone so maybe someone in the past has really loved that type of kissing and it's just not what vibes with you. I'm going, I'm still going back to like, if there's something that you don't like, you can say, let's once again, let's try this with less tongue or, or just like, whoa, you know, that's a, that's a bit too much tongue for me. I don't think you have to

make a big deal about it, but hopefully they can get those subtle hints. And if you have to have some more, less subtle hints, i.e. saying it directly to them, if they haven't gotten that feedback, then maybe their kissing style just doesn't match your kissing style. And that's a very possible thing and you probably will just eventually get the ick. Anyhow, good luck. Let's get into question number two. All right, question number two. So I've been seeing this guy for a few months and everything is going pretty perfectly. Although he recently said to me that I wear the same perfume, Chloe, by the way, I love Chloe, as his ex-girlfriend who he was with for six years. He super politely said to me that every time he smells my perfume, it reminds him

of his ex. And so he kindly suggested that he's happy to get a different perfume I may like as a present I can't decide if I'm a bit offended by this or if it was a fair request as I also don't want him to be reminded of his ex every time he's with me would appreciate any advice as I'm in two worlds about how I feel about this now Britt I know you have a very clear-cut thought on this one yeah look I do for sure I don't think that this has to be a big deal for you and if I was putting myself in this position yes it sucks if you really like a perfume right like it's what you've been wearing for a long time it's your smell you love it that sucks but if my partner had come to me and said and as you've said he was so nice and polite about it he just wanted to let you know

if he came to me and said you remind me of my ex when you wear that like that smell takes me back to a place I would I would be in the shower scrubbing myself right now and then I would be changing my perfume for sure because smells like pheromones and smells are so powerful and if you just think a smell can you could smell something that you haven't smelled in years right you could walk past someone on the street and smell something and it will take you back to a memory like we do attach memories and feelings to smells I wouldn't want to know that every time I wear that that my partner is thinking of their ex there are so many other perfumes out there and obviously for him to bring it up it's bothering him if it didn't bother him he wouldn't have mentioned it

so the fact that he's like look you are you're reminding me of like I think of her when I smell you and can I buy you something else I think that he's done it really politely and he sounds like he's very genuine very loving he very into you I would be at the shop right now getting a new perfume if that was me I do think it's hard because like I know how attached some people become to their sense especially if you've been using a perfume for so many years that perfume smell kind of becomes part of your identity it becomes part of your morning ritual and your routine and yeah i do understand why you have an attachment to something that you love and you also don't want to be like oh well like your past and your ex is now taking away something

that i love that's also part of my identity at the end of the day i think the big one with this and like i do agree with you with everything you just said brit smell is not something that you have control over you can't control the things that spark a memory you can't control the smells that you associate with different times in your life I mean for me chewing gum reminds me of my ex and every time I smell chewing gum that's just my that's the memory that pops into my mind and like I'm never going to tell Matt not to eat chewing gum but at the same time it gives me like a moment where I'm like oh that's yeah that's that memory that pops into my head so I guess that the big part of this is like you can't be offended that he's asked you not to wear

it but you do have the choice and the choice is you can continue to do whatever the fuck you want to do if you want to wear it every day wear it every day but know that he also doesn't have control over the firing of those memories you know that he doesn't have control over the fact that that they're the things that it brings up for him and so you can make the decision as to what you feel comfortable with if you're okay with him being sort of thrown back into thinking about his ex because that smell reminds him of her then keep wearing the perfume maybe in time the memory will be replaced by you because you know things do evolve and change in time but I agree with you I probably wouldn't want to be in a situation where I rocked into a room and I smell a certain

way and then would have to worry about whether my now boyfriend who I love and I'm like invested with is then thinking about his ex-girlfriend because of my smell totally it's such an avoidable situation well just like getting scientific for a second but just in relation to what you just said Laura about you know maybe in time it'll it'll be replaced scientists experts actually say that the memory associated with smells they do tend to be older which means they're thought about less often but when they are thought or triggered they are very very vivid so in fact what you just said about maybe if we give it more time the older the memory gets the more vivid it gets when it hits him so i think just getting your perfume i think like the really easy option is

don't be offended by what he said because there is no offense meant at all yeah olfactory which is the sense of smell olfactory is the strongest of all of our senses connected to memory go to david jones and get yourself some gucci rush girlfriend and that's your next thing yeah ask him what his favorite is like go and pick it together and pick something that he's loving that you love as well and that you know is going to be you know a different smell for you and create different memories so that's what i think what's your favorite perfume what's one you wear oh i'm wearing um narcisco perfume at the moment it's new for me probably only the last six months i've tried it my sister sherry bought it when she asked me to be her bridesmaid she gave me like a little present

with a card and she gave me the perfume and i'm really really loving it and i have been you know i've worn the same perfumes for a very very long time but one of my old perfumes that i used to wear my ex-boyfriend gave it to me like back back back in the day the crazy one and i loved that perfume so much but every time i even wore it it took me back to that time like myself it wasn't it was just reminding myself of that time so i ended up having to scrap that which was sad because I loved it. I'd worn it for so many years. But I hadn't thought of that until right now.

That's how strong these smells are. Yeah, I use like Dove deodorant. I can't even remember the last time I used perfume. Mate, you've used the air freshener before. We know. I've used Febreze. I've got a really – I'm really attached to my scent. Actually, there's been so many times Lauren comes over.

She's like, babe, do you have any deodorant? I keep forgetting to put it on. I'm like, yes, you can just go put it on. Or like hand soap, whatever. Whatever is the thing. Every so often when I'm feeling really hormonal, I'm like, god I really should get that we're putting deodorant on anyway all right question number three okay question number three this is a more serious one a couple of years ago I had a breast

reduction now for those that don't know breast reduction incisions look like a lollipop where they go all the way vertically down your breast and around your nipple the surgery itself was pretty traumatic I ended up with a nasty infection and really bad keloid hypertrophic scarring which means i have raised and wide scars that are really bad i cannot wear a top without patting the scars out because the scars show through so if you guys don't know what keloid scarring is it is raised bigger scars it's just the way some people's bodies heal so you can go and google that if you want to get an idea in your head she says i'm now newly single and at a stage where i'm ready to date again i do not know how to tackle dating with this deformity on my breast that i am mortified

over how do I bring this up when I start dating and to a future partner do I tell them prior to being intimate with them and warn them I don't have casual sex but a new boyfriend means sex eventually so how in the world do I manage this I hated reading this like I I got a lot of feels about this and I really felt for her and I really want to change her mind into how she views herself and thinks about herself well I mean this is I guess like the big part is you never have to tell someone you don't if there's something that you're insecure about about your body regardless of what that is you don't have to give an explanation or like and when I say give an explanation I mean like there is nothing that you have to admit to someone about your body prior to having sex unless

you want to because you feel like it's a safe and comfortable space somebody who judges you for having scarring on your breasts is not somebody who you should be spending any time or any energy in. And when you say like, you want to get back into dating or I guess like, you know, you're not saying you want to have casual sex. Casual sex is probably different. You may come in contact with someone who might judge you. That makes them a fuckwit, right? But like you don't have control over that. If you're meeting new people all the time, if you're having new connections and you don't have like an emotional connection to them, then there may come a situation where someone may be outwardly judging, they probably won't actually say anything

to you. They might just think it, but like who fucking cares what that person thinks because they're irrelevant to your life. But in the instance, which what you're saying is that you're getting into more long-term dating, somebody who likes you and who cares about you is not going to care about scars on your breasts in the exact same way that if you like a guy and you started dating a guy and they had had open heart surgery, for example, or surgery on their chest or they had a big scar on their arm you wouldn't look at that and think oh god like I can't date you because you've got a big scar on your chest I truly don't think that anybody else is going to think that of you and I also think as well as like these are your own insecurities

about something that's obviously been super traumatic for you and it's also part of your identity but I think like sometimes we can be our own worst critic and that's not how other people view us a hundred percent and like everything you said I don't wouldn't add anything to that it's it's all absolutely accurate it's the old those that matter don't mind and those that mind don't matter the people that this bothers you don't want those people around anyway at the end of the day this is definitely something that you obviously feel very self-conscious about but you shouldn't feel self-conscious about it and exactly what laura just said we ourselves pick up things in our own body in our own situations in our own lives that nobody else

even sees like no one else sees what we see about ourself and if you've met someone that is just frothing you and so into you this is not going to be an issue if it makes you feel better maybe you could just say tell them about your operation maybe say oh you know I used to have huge breasts but I had a breast reduction for you know back pain or whatever maybe you can just talk about the fact that you had had an operation if that makes you feel better and you want to get that out on the table but I don't think you should ever have to apologize for warn someone and you use the word worn what are you warning them about like about your beautiful body yeah about your beautiful body so so please don't ever feel like you have to warn somebody that oh just so you know

when you take my top off there's a scar like and I I think this question is very relative to a lot of people not just in terms of scarring but I know that there are people who have different types of disabilities or different types of maybe something that isn't what we would expect to be quote unquote quote, normal. And then they feel like they need to explain away something or they need to tell there is nobody is deserving of that explanation. You know, nobody needs to be explained to as to how your body works or what is different about your body unless you feel comfortable and you want to do it. But there's nothing wrong with your body. It's just the way that it works. It's just the way that it looks and everything that this the spectrum of what is actually normal is like

this infinite scale right and also on that as well like you having scars on your body makes no difference to the sexual experience that you're going to have if it's something that you had to then work around in terms of sex like if there was something that compromised the sexual experience that you were going to have then I would say yeah maybe have a conversation before you get into the bedroom so it's not a shock or it's not something that's like going to come as a surprise and then you're going to feel judgment for it but something that's on your body I truly don't feel that anybody I don't think that you're going to be judged for that I think that your fear around your own insecurities outweighs how other people will react to it especially people and someone

who you've been dating for a little while and someone who actually cares about you I think that the important thing to think of here is anything that you do or want to say or want to tell the other person do it for you don't do it for them because you think that you need to give them this pre-warning, do it for you because it's going to ease the situation for you or ease your anxiety or make you feel more comfortable. Every single decision should be for you, not for the other person in this situation. I don't know if you guys remember, but a little while back, we actually interviewed this amazing woman named Ellie and she's from the, she has the Instagram handle comfortable in my skin and also has a website called flip through my flaps. And the reason why

she started flip through my flaps was to try and de-stigmatize the way that women viewed their body to show women these like hundreds if not thousands of different vulvas so that women could flick through and go oh my vulva is normal the way my labia looks is normal and to try and destigmatize women who have been thinking maybe that they need labiaplasty or whatever it is cosmetic surgery to improve the labia because we've been conditioned to think that the female body should look a certain way now ellie also has the same concept but for breasts and now i think it could be really great for you or for anybody listening to this. If you feel self-conscious about your breasts or about your vulva to go and have a look at a, at a normal female gallery of how fucking

different everybody's breasts look. And let me tell you, like, I think we've been conditioned on Instagram to see like beautiful perky breasts. So many people have breast implants, which there's nothing wrong with, but I think we've forgotten what normal breasts look like and what a normal vulva looks like there are so many different types of breasts in the world and yes sure some of them have scarring some of them are saggy some of them nipples look down some of them nipples look up some of the nipples are inverted they look left they look right it's all different and I think when you actually look around and you start to appreciate those differences and maybe really go and do a deep dive on this gallery it can make you less self-critical and I know for myself it made

me less self-critical especially with how much my breasts have changed since breastfeeding they're completely, these are not my boobs. These are, these are someone else's boobs. If you told me my boobs were going to look like this two years ago, I would have said, I don't even know what you're talking about, but now they're like sad little pancakes. And you know what? I love these sad little pancakes because they've done their purpose. You know, they mean something different to me now. And three years ago, if you told me that this is what my breasts were going to look like, I would have been shocked and probably horrified, but now I'm so much more comfortable. And I really did like, I went and did a deep dive on the side as well. And I saw like,

just it made me so less self-critical and I think that that's probably the place where I'd say to start well for anyone that does want to have a look it's comfortable in my skin and she has flip through my flaps like it's like an album on there but on the same website she has brows for my boobs so she has all the boobs on there I'm looking at them now there is literally everything from mastectomies to like Laura said all different shapes to piercings to scars to stretch marks to you know everything you can imagine and I'm scrolling it now there's hundreds of boobs and It really does make you be like, wow, there is literally nothing and no one that is normal. Normal doesn't exist because there's no such thing as normal.

Everyone is different. Everyone is beautiful. And I think, like Laura said, it made her feel better. It makes me feel better too. I think everyone should go onto this website. If you didn't listen to that episode too, just go back and have a browse through that because it was a really great eye-opening episode. Yeah.

And I guess like the last thing I want to add to this is like, not when we say it makes you feel better, it's not because you're comparing down and you're comparing to somebody else who's got worse boobs or better boobs or whatever it's not about the comparison it's about the inclusivity it's actually about looking at how fucking different everyone is and being like cool it's okay that i'm also different i think that that's the real take-home message from it and knowing that what you see on instagram is absolutely not the normal absolutely and i think that that is it from us today guys a short sharp quick down dirty easy little you know i don't even know where i'm going

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