Life Uncut - BACH UNCUT - C-bombs, Captain Kinky and a constipated chicken

Episode Date: July 29, 2021

Laura is back with Matty J to recap week two of the Bachelor! Captain Jimmy has now officially been coined the Captain kinky. It turns out Laura and Matt's prediction was right and Jimmy currently has a 100% kissing strike rate.... Is he the horniest Bachelor to date?This week we saw two delightful single dates with Ash and Holly, a group date that was akin to a kids activity 'make your own superhero' and a group maze date where the winner got to ring Jimmy's meat bell.Finally the drama has kicked off in the Bach mansion and we have ourselves this seasons villain - Steph, who dropped a few C-bombs and suffered amnesia.If you love our Bach recaps, subscribe and leave a review... Matt needs the ego boost.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Maddie J. And this is our second Bachelor Recap episode. This week we're going to be recapping episode three and four and i just quickly want to say a very big thank you to all of the feedback that we got about last week's episode because now that matt and i are stuck in an extended lockdown we have nothing else to do so we were always going to bring you this episode anyway okay question laura burn what i don't understand is the fact that you're really nervous and it doesn't make any sense because it's our second time recording together doing the recaps we've had really great feedback what's the problem what's happened i'm worried that you like you know went hard went

fast and now you're going to suck and then you're going to let the team down. No, that's not true. I don't know. I sat down to record this episode. We're recording this episode in our bedroom. So you couldn't pick a place where we would be more comfortable. And I felt nervous. It was weird. And then I remembered I've had three coffees today and not very much water. So I think I'm okay. I've got heart palpitations. I've had five shots of coffee today. So I'm absolutely off my face and ready to go. question Laura Byrne before we get into the episode this evening do you think you will have a shower or just wash your feet in the sink here we go which one do you think it'll be tonight

enlighten me what's gonna happen wait is this how we're gonna start every single one of these recap episodes are you gonna like out me for some little sicko thing I do you're gonna wait until we turn the microphones on and then out me to my own audience well I'm intrigued to know what people think about the situation. I'm a person who always likes to have a shower right before he goes to bed. Whereas you're a little bit different. You can have a shower in the morning. You can have a shower at like 7am and that's enough to qualify for your cleaning for an entire day for a 24 hour period. You're like, I'm done. I'm good to go. That's completely untrue. Everybody listening, Matt's lying. I have to wash my feet before going to bed. No, and it's not just washing

your feet it's literally you brushing your teeth you rinse your mouth out and then you get your foot no one needs to know this you bring it up to the sink and you splash a bit of water on your toes you wiggle them around do that each foot and then you're like all right now i'm done i'll see you in bed how does that make any difference i can't go to sleep if i have dirty clammy feet but i'm okay with the rest of me and i just want to make this very clear one i know that there's going to be some other people out there who don't like always showering at night time it's winter so it's cold we don't have any heating in our house it's freezing we have a gas heater yeah okay not in the bedroom it's cold okay i'm cold come night time i don't like going to bed with

wet hair or feeling wet or feeling damp so if i haven't done anything in the day i won't have a shower at night time i'd rather have one in the morning that doesn't count for summertime summertime i shower much more frequently and i can't believe that this is how we spent the first four minutes to this episode. I mean, at least watch the calves. Give the calves a little look in. No, it's got to be like your feet, your underarms and your privates. Everything else is fine.

Like how sturdy does your belly get during the day? Anyway, with that out of the way, we recapped episode one and two last week. It was a hoot. So if you watched this week's episode of The Bachelor, you would know that we are up to episodes three and four and there's been a lot, a lot that's been going down. And if you didn't watch it, well, you know what? You can just now skip it all and just catch up on the recap with Matt and I.

Oh, I just wanted to flag as well, Laura, moving forward, we will no longer refer to him as Jimmy. We're going to call him Captain Kinky. Why Captain Kinky? What do you mean why Captain Kinky? Because anybody who he sits down with one-on-one is going to fall victim to his lips. I mean, to be fair, he's only kissing them.

Like, how kinky is he? I mean, we don't know what's going on below the camera. In the world of The Bachelor, I think he is kissing at the highest rate out of anyone previously. Like, I'm surprised he hasn't macked on with Osher at this stage. Osher spent the most one-on-one time with him and he's like, hang on, you've kissed every single other person you've had one-on-one time with. I reckon he has kissed Osher.

They've just edited it out. They're fucking editing. Production! Osher's like, they removed my kiss. There was more going on. You guys just didn't see our whole story. Okay. one thing I do want everyone to know though is if you haven't noticed Jimmy has a 100% strike rate

so far he has kissed every single person he's been on a single date with which is like I know that that's what happens on single dates but often at least one person will go on a single date who doesn't get a kiss so he's kissed every single one he's also seems to have kissed now every single girl that he has had extra time with so Lily on last week's episode and this week's episode we're going to get into, but he maxed on in a bit of extra time as well. He's a good old loose lips Jimmy. And I'm here for it. I love it. I can't get enough of it. Anyway, episode three, here we go. I didn't expect this single date to be with Ash and nothing against Ash. I just didn't have her on my radar at all. She's been a bit quiet in the background a little bit, hasn't she? So it was

surprising that she was chosen only because she hasn't had any airtime, but she's a hot little Tamale. Yes, she is. She's a professional dancer. And you know how I feel about dancing. I'm a dancer now. I thought you were about to say, you know how I feel about dancers. And I was like, well, that's going to go in Daily Mail about Matt having some sort of sordid affair on Dancing with the Stars. I appreciate now a good dancer. I mean, imagine these two in the TikTok world, they're a match made in heaven. Yes. And when Jimmy leaves being a pilot for his aspiring TikTok career it's really going to take off but this date started off as a boat date which is ideal for ash because i love boats who doesn't love boats let's be honest i remember our first single

date so our first single date for anyone who didn't see our season was on a boat a big black boat and i was very very nervous and i said i said it probably about 25 times punky did a recap of our single date and it was just me incessantly saying the word boat over and over big black boat oh boat I like boats boats boats boats boats boats and yeah I was thinking to myself at the time Laura is really into this boat right now a little too much it was so embarrassing so now anytime I watch someone say something or do something on the show where I'm like oh I feel a little bit sorry for them I know how much nerves kind of take control but Ash seemed really confident on this day as much as I say she hadn't had any air time so therefore I was surprised that she was chosen

when we got to see a little bit more of her personality and who she is I wasn't surprised that she got chosen like she is beautiful she is a very sweet girl and I really like I loved how vulnerable she was talking about her health battles as well yeah because she had a blood clot which was misdiagnosed and she was on a plane and it spread through her body so it could have been really serious but then when I heard that story I did think well how's it going to work if you can't fly and you're trying to get with a guy who's a pilot isn't that going to be a little bit of an issue ash is telling this story and you can see jimmy's eyes like ah what does that mean so you can never come on a plane so look as it makes a lot of sense because obviously last week

being on the that flight with brooke it would have been pretty awkward if that was ash and ash was like ah mid-flight so i reckon maybe jimmy was like hey or captain kinky was like hey i really want to take ash on the first date on the plane and production were like that's a terrible idea you should take brook instead she's a sweet sweet girl we really like brook anyway the date went off swimmingly literally they went swimming it was all very sweet it was all frisbee a little bit boring but it was really mild and lovely and then jimmy our kinky captain wanted to get a little bit handsy with ash and so he pretended like he was going to teach her how to play frisbee because obviously she's never played frisbee before and has absolutely no idea

and needs a strong man with a lot of biceps to show her how it's done but in no surprise to anyone he used that as an opportunity to wrap his arms around her and pull her down under the water it's a move straight out of the bachelor playbook i feel like it's a actually a move that's in the notebook literally what they play frisbee and mac on in the water remember that the notebook when did that happen okay but guys I want to tell you something that is pretty crazy and I'm so happy that Matt and I discovered this because we had an argument okay there is there is a part where she talks about the fact that she's a dancer she brings out a speaker and they learn this quite beautiful dance she even refers to it as a dance that would normally take place at a wedding and

they get quite close and it looks like they're gonna kiss but they don't actually show a kiss so on the actual episode that we all saw on episode three there is no kiss between ash and jimmy whilst ash is showing jimmy this dance but like matt said they get close they're having a cuddle but there's no kiss anyway the kiss comes later and the kiss comes just after jimmy has given her a rose however i'm gonna fast forward here for you all if you watched episode four which was on thursday night in the very intro edit you know how they do like a little recap we're recapping on last night's episode they actually showed a piece of footage that was not shown on that single date and that was ash and jimmy kissing during the dance so they had kissed

way before jimmy actually gave her a rose which in bachelor world is actually pretty controversial because normally on a single date the kissing is saved for the intimacy scene and the intimacy scene is during the rose giving like at the single date so it's really really like impressive and it means a lot more on a date when the bachelor actually kisses someone during an activity so normally with a single date it's broken down into parts so you have like a travel part so for them it was on the boat then you have an activity which for them is the frisbee and then you have what's called like an intimacy part of the date and that was when they were sitting down having some lunch when he brought out the binoculars and gave her the rose and normally it's that part of the date

which is at the tail end where, you know, you start to get a bit more handsy for want of a better word. I guess for me, it was more natural to have any kind of intimacy at that point because it takes a while to, to warm up and feel comfortable with that person. I think we had our kiss at the very end of the date. I remember like staring you down and I was like, is he going to kiss me yet this has been a long awkward pause now i was like when do we kiss and it's really weird because like the producers tell you they're like oh you know there's an opportunity that maybe you might have a kiss now and so you're kind of sitting there being like do i do it does he do it i was afraid of rejection i was afraid too like and also actually and i think i think we clash

teeth we did we still clash teeth sometimes when i finally committed and lent in i was like and we smashed teeth and producers must have been thinking god these two are so awkward just have a goddamn normal kiss i guess because the dates are so broken up it can sometimes take a little bit to get into the flow of feeling like you are actually really connected and like you're you know you're really getting to know that person and therefore feel comfortable to kiss so the fact that jimmy did have that kiss earlier on i think says a lot and it's probably also reason why it was taken out and edited out of that first footage i actually think ash is going to go a lot further in this than what we originally thought yeah mate you thought chanel was going

to make it towards the end and she went home on this episode don't ruin the episode for people everybody chanel who was the flight hostess if you know she went home on this episode sorry for the spoiler as well for those playing at home anyway we will get to that in a little while Let's get to the group date. I just want to say, I think it was a nice date. It was sweet. He's definitely attracted to her, but I didn't see the spark and the chemistry that I think he has with other girls, for the record.

So before we jump into the group date, Ash actually comes back to the house. So there's a scene after her one-on-one time with Jimmy where she comes back to the house and she has to front up to all of the other girls who are obviously like, oh, what did they get up to? What have they been doing? and when ash left for the date she had poker straight hair which i'm sure probably took her a very long time to do and she came back with sexy rugged beachy wavy hair which would make me very annoyed if i got dunked on a date and didn't want to get my hair wet but anyway she

comes back she has a rose and some of the girls are not that impressed what do you do what a show off look it's always tricky isn't it when you have to go back into the mansion and you're confronted with all the other girls who are a little bit jealous and sierra is definitely falling into that mold of the villain that streak is coming through a lot more but you know i still find it very endearing i guess that's one of the things i said last week i was like i really like i love her her like quick-witted humor however i think at the beginning of this episode her quick-witted humor was very much erring on the side of being mean and i think that you kind of have to be careful there because she's very funny sierra is very very funny but i think that the funniness is

kind of taken away when she kind of goes into the mean category and territory and i don't like that i still like it i got plenty of time for sierra oh controversial at this point at this point also i think it's so hard when you come back after a single date and all the girls are like did you kiss him didn't you kiss him because you're in such a tricky situation you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't i remember when on our season so i was the first person to kiss matt And I was the last. All right, you legend. No, but I was the first person.

Oh, look at you, Laura Byrne. You're so bloody good. Oh, stop it. You picked me. Must have been something. Go on. Anyway, no. Okay, I was the first person to kiss Matt.

You said that already. Yeah. But I didn't have to be confronted by the girls because I got back really late. So nobody, there was no conversation around did I, didn't I? And no one really asked me. You came back in the mansion and nobody was there. Guys, I got a rose. And it's just one person getting a cup of tea in the kitchen.

Oh, hey, Laura. Laura, were you gone? No, but then obviously there was many girls after me who got kissed. I think Tara was after me and then Florence. So those girls, some of them came back and were like very, very open and honest about what had happened. They were like, yeah, we kissed, you know, it was a great date. and some of them were said you know no we didn't kiss or some of them said i'm not going to tell

you no i don't kiss and tell and to be honest the girls who said i don't kiss and tell were actually the girls that people became the most angry at i found because i guess the other girls in that environment just kind of wanted to know what they were up against yeah they just wanted to know what they were being faced with and it wasn't so much in a competitive way but it was like i want to know if i have not kissed a guy and there's not really any connection growing i want to know if you have a great connection that's brewing I don't want to just keep on thinking maybe it's going to happen for me so I do think that maybe Ash got the girls offside by saying oh I don't kiss and tell but it's a really really tricky thing to decide what's right to do at the

time it's so uncomfortable because you think I don't want to tell them it's going to hurt their feelings whereas the guys are just like did you get a patch oh lads lads lads lads lads so when our show finished Matt was like gosh you must have made such good friends I'm like you know the the bachelor boys it was so awesome i loved being in the house and i was like why are you crying i was like it was hell being a girl in the bachelor mansion is very different to being a guy on the bachelorette they're very very different experiences okay so now we have the group date on episode three and i freaking loved this group date i love the girls that were on it i love the activity that they got to do i love like the self-deprecating ridiculousness of the dress-ups

element to it i fucking loved it it was a bit random i saw one person in the life on cart facebook group did say that it was like there's a sale on spotlight and they just got a heap of fabric and buttons and little ornaments and put it on a table and said here you go we're playing dress-ups it's like when you have a child and you get them a sensory box and you're like this will entertain them for an hour so for anyone who doesn't know what the date was is i don't know what this okay i don't know what it's called and i can't remember what it's called but basically the girls who were on this date rocked up to a looked like a pond or a lake or something and jimmy had this thing strapped to his feet which if you imagine a wakeboard and you've got

these jets and then you like shoot up you fly into the air because these jets are pushing down either side of your feet it's like flying with a board but not a board it's like flying on your feet in the water i'm wondering if people right now are like what the fuck was this it's water foot flying sport anyway not an olympic sport not an official one but very entertaining to watch at primetime tv so so part of it was like that jimmy was a superhero he can fly on water oh because superman was his favorite superhero because of you know yeah it was a bit of a stretch it was a tenuous link anyway then they had to get the girls to dress up as their own superhero character and create a name and create a persona in order to win extra time with

jimmy it's always really tricky on group dates because from memory laura when i cast my eye my memory back to the bachelor you know you're getting pulled pillar to post oh so hard for you wasn't it and i you know i sympathize with sierra when she kind of put it in a very beautiful way the girls upon jimmy like flies to shit so then it flashes to where the girls are getting their superhero costumes ready and once again it is very hard for anybody to get some one-on-one time in this situation because everyone's trying to one up each other and do their best and get a little bit of attention from jimmy and sierra manages to pull jimmy aside very subtly to ask for a hand excuse me jimmy would you mind putting some sunscreen on my back i can do that for you

i mean well played that is very very clever from sierra not her first rodeo and that's why i like her so then the girls had to present their superhero characters to jimmy and look there a couple of standouts the incredible holes aka the constipated chicken so my superhero name is the jj i'm professor pisser pp for short i disarm and disable my enemies by making them piss their pants with my hilarious jokes these are uh droplets of piss but the true standout from the competition was obviously toxic positivity carly i think she seems like a smart cookie So Carly has the extra time with Jimmy and they go and spend some time having a wine next to some candlelight. I didn't think they were going to kiss here.

I didn't think they were either. Because also the extra time after a group date is only a really short period of time. You only get like an hour, maximum two hours. At most. It's very, very, very brief. I don't know if anybody else was watching what I was watching, but I was starting to feel wildly uncomfortable. He was chomping for a kiss, wasn't he? He was so intense.

and I felt like I was watching a very, very private moment. So Carly was kind of being very reasonable. She was like, you know, this is what I'm looking for in a partner. And it seems like we have similar interests and this could be on the right track. Like she was very reasonable in that. It seemed like she wasn't getting totally swept up in the romance of what was happening, that Jimmy was sitting there and he was like, you know, when you're like on a date with a guy and you know, that guy wants to kiss you because they're staring at your eyes, then staring at your mouth then staring at your eyes then staring at your mouth and staring at your eyes can you tell when guys do that and then trying to finger you i mean staring your mouth

yes of course you know when a guy is doing that you're like okay i get it i'm but like i felt sorry for carly i was like carly is speaking to you and you are not listening to what she said she is a smart independent woman you must listen to the words that come out of her mouth she was and that's why i think the financial situation in australia is actually in a quite a detrimental state and he's just like kiss me so jimmy's going blue in the lips because he wants to kiss carly so bad he also then says to carly are you someone who shows the way that you feel or will you tell me and the interesting thing is that he said this with his pants off poor jimmy he's sitting there in the nude going sure um at what point do you normally like to show someone that you're into

them clarifying he did have pants on he had pants on it was all fully clothed i mean it's all very g-rated but he really wanted to give carly a smooch and i didn't think carly was gonna fall for it but she got swept up in all those abs and all those biceps anyway so a common theme of the bachelor so far is that jimmy kissed the girl he was on a date with and then the date ended so then we end up at the cocktail party and the cocktail party was a boring one did you guys ever have a girl code a girl code what do you mean well the girl code for this season or in this particular episode is that no girl was allowed to approach jimmy they had to sit back and wait for him to approach oh the girl code is stupid look i think that the girls tried to initiate that on

our season as well but the reality is it's never going to play out that every single person respects that. And the other part of it is, is that it's always one person who makes that decision and then says it to everyone. It's not like every single person in that environment opted into the girl code. And so if you watch the episode, you would know what we're referring to is that Jay used her business lounge key. I mean, Jay likes, she likes a gimmick, doesn't she? The first time in the business lounge, they played chess. This time she's got a little surprise up a sleeve for him i was actually upset there was no more chess i was hoping for another game of chess i really was what's jay gonna do in there ah chess i'm sure jimmy was like oh where the

hell's the knight and bishops he was having lessons apparently but instead jay had something else planned for him this is kind of gross are you ready yeah and that's when she took a dump on his chest which i thought was weird to see from jay because she seemed like such a nice respectable young woman jay did not take a dump on his chest weird that the bachelor showed that yeah look 7 30 p.m prime spot i thought maybe it would be a bit more g-rated no what jay actually did which for some people is probably even more disgusting than dump on the chest she blindfolded jimmy and she fed him an oyster which looked like it wasn't a nice and nobody likes a warm oyster now i thought this was quite clever the fact that she was making him guess what the food was and

then every time he got an answer wrong he had to take off a bit of his clothing except for the fact that he got every answer right but she made it impossible for him to get the answers right so he was like it's an oyster i fucking hate oysters and she was like how wrong wrong my little jimmy it was a bluff oyster take your pants off it was very quick that he was now shirtless in the business class lounge i liked it it was good no no hang on hang on a second if you watch it back it was actually jay that made the move on jimmy good on her so i'm just saying i know we're very quick to say that it's all jimmy here but he was just an innocent bystander in this situation being forced fed food taking his clothes off and then being macked on i mean my heart goes out to

the poor guy hey do you know what don't let anybody tell you that being the bachelor is not hard work everyone always says it's hard for the girls but we know who the true true suffering victim is in this whole thing jimmy the kinky captain and i will note that i think laura i think that's an australian bachelor record that we've had three kisses in one single episode so jimmy well done which surprises me three kisses in one episode and it was still the most fucking boring episode it was boring but episode four was really good so you know we took a little dive and then we're back up there again okay before we go into episode four we mentioned it earlier chanel went home she was a flight attendant i like chanel and maddie somebody who we've never seen

on the TV. It's always interesting because at this point in time, there's a few main characters who we all know. Sierra? Yeah, there's a few main people. I don't know if you can call them characters. I hate saying that. But there's a few main players that everybody knows and that you easily identify. You're like, yeah, that's my girl. And then

every so often you'll get a voxie with someone and you're like, who the fuck is that? Who is that? Where did she come from? Has she always been here? Does she need Ruta? Unfortunately, Maddie was one of those people. We miss her. We never got to really meet her. Episode four and we kick off with Jimmy arriving at the bachelor mansion to greet all the girls

and Holly has a bit of a hands-on greeting with Jimmy. That's a nice scratch on the bum. Yeah, you like that? Yes. Well, actually, Jimmy has arrived at the house with his beautiful puppy dog, Billy, and I think that most of the girls are probably more interested in Billy than Jimmy at this time.

But it's one of those things where I remember when I went on a group date with you and your sister was there and everyone, even me, like everyone wants to really impress or be liked by that person that's a member of your family. In this case, yes, it may be a dog, but in your instance or in our instance, it was your sister. You want that other person to like you so much. Anything that is remotely connected to The Bachelor,

you're like, I love that, that is fantastic. Jimmy could arrive with a brown snake and he goes, hey, everyone, this is my pet snake, and all the girls would go, oh, my God, it's amazing, it's so cute, can I please hold it? I literally thought you were about to say he could arrive with a shit, but he could arrive with a shit in a paper bag and people would be like, I love shooting paper bags. Leave it on my doorstep.

It's my favourite. Set it on fire. So Jimmy picks Holly for this date and a lot of the girls are really unhappy with this and episode four is actually the very first time we start to see the drama unfold. And the division, the division between the girls. Yeah, and obviously now as much as for us it's only been three episodes

that has kind of taken place before this ep, for the girls they've probably been in there for a couple of weeks now. so they have already started to form their friendship groups they've already started to get to know the girls that they do and don't like and there does seem to be this huge division that has happened between Steph who we said last week may have been a little bit of a villain she is definitely filling that villainous role as of this episode and Sierra a couple of the other girls have kind of formed a bit of an alliance and on the other side of that we have Holly we have Brooke and we have Carly who are some of the sweetest girls in the house and now

i know editing is a very tricky thing i know that maybe there's a picture that's being painted for us but there was a lot that went on in this episode that i think made everyone feel a bit i just really want to know why steph hates holly so much you know what you're a bitch so i just have no time for it i mean hopefully like jimmy sends the dog back and not her today because i felt like there must have been something more that has happened off camera that we haven't seen However, maybe not. And there is always the chance that maybe there is just a whole lot of jealousy that's going on. And, you know, being in that environment doesn't always bring out the best in people.

And maybe Holly has a little bit of a target on her back. I reckon Holly looks like the kind of person, the only thing I think it could be, is that maybe she's stealing food. You know how food is so important in the mansion? Like maybe she's taking all the good salmon steaks. She's been eating all the fucking avocados. And she's eating all the avocados. And that's why Steph hates her. Yeah, it makes sense.

Nobody likes the person who puts all the avocados in their breakfast. And we just can't see that because it happens when the cameras aren't there. I do think at this point in time, there does become a bit of a rift between the girls who are getting time with Jimmy and the girls who are feeling insecure because they haven't had time yet. And jealousy starts to brew. Like, that's a very real and very ugly thing. And unfortunately, I do think that we're seeing that with Steph a bit.

And Steph did call Holly a very colourful thing at the beginning of the episode. She also called her that at the end of the episode. See you next Tuesday, which I don't think is that bad. You don't think the C word is bad? I don't reckon it's that bad. Dude, what have you been, no. Come on, we've all been called bad names. There's not much worse that you could be called as a female than a C-U-N-T.

Do you reckon? Yes, I don't reckon, I know. You can't call someone that. No, okay, okay. Yeah, for the record, I think that is inappropriate language and should not be used at any time, except in the Bachelor Mansion. Go on. So Holly's a c**t.

Now, Laura, I'm a little bit nervous for you here, okay, because, you know, you're not always correct when you try and pick out these winners, and Holly is your number one that you went with last week. I reckon I've got it in the back from the get-go. You know, it was about three seconds in where I thought, yep, yep, she's got this. she's just such wifey material she is beautifully pleasant she's so lovely she's got the best smile

on her nice energy and she speaks so well in front of camera as well like you know hang on that's because she's an actor okay if you don't know this there's been a little bit of conspiracies going on apparently she's got a star now profile apparently she's an actor so maybe that adds to why she's so comfortable in front of a camera and also that's why the other girls probably hate her because they're saying that she's just here to boost her profile because that is also one of the biggest undertone controversies that rips people apart. Scandalous.

There you go, Detective Maddie J on the case. You are welcome. So I don't care, even if she is an actress, even if she's going to be on the next Home and Away, right now while she's on The Bachelor, I really, really like her. I think she is warm. I can tell that Jimmy likes her because Jimmy got his tongue right down into her esophagus and they macked on on a paddleboard.

And it didn't take them long to do that either. Poor Billy, can I just say, that dog. Why would someone think of the dog? Dog just wanted to go for a little swim. Next thing, Jimmy and Holly are just dry humping each other. Did you not see the dog when the dog got knocked off the paddleboard? The dog was trying to swim to shore and Jimmy's like, come back here, Billy.

And Billy's like, fuck this. I don't want to be here with you. Make it stop. Oh, God. Do you actually think that was his dog or was it just an excuse to try and get Surf Dog Bachelor back on the scene? jimmy how long you had the dog for um yeah ages i grew up with it just love it so much now the reason that when we were talking about episode number three and i was talking about

jimmy's date with ash why i thought it was so interesting that they had edited out the kiss that had gone on when jimmy and ash were having the dance is because jimmy also kissed holly during the activity so they're doing this stand-up paddle boarding which to be honest would not have been a very romantic moment and Matt was the one who was like holy shit they're kissing during another activity so he seems to really things move quickly for our friend Jimmy but don't you think that if she is going to end up with Jimmy wouldn't it be too obvious then to leave those kisses in there like wouldn't they be better off leaving the kisses with somebody else like Ash to try and throw us off the scent like they don't want to go too hard and make it seem too obvious like

I mean because right now I'm thinking it can't be anybody else like it has to be Holly but then they're making it too obvious for Holly that if she's going to end up as number one I think the reason that the girls don't like her so the fact that like there's so much jeopardy around the other girls in the house not liking Holly I think that that is what's supposed to throw us off the scent because I think we're supposed to be like why do all these girls not like Holly if they've got such a strong connection like what's going on I think that there's something there that's meant to make us doubt holly so i do think that that's why they've played up the drama so much between the girls and holly and she's kind of become this like outlier to the group sign seal

delivered she's my girl question for you laura burn who else you're gonna ask in this bedroom matthew johnson for the lamp over here for your dirty undies on the floor uh thank you for that laura i'll put them away after we finish recording can you do the washing as well what did you think of the fact that holly was putting him on the spot asking about his career and what his ambitions were and the fact that he wants to do long haul flights which means that he's away for five days at a time and reference to Steph who said that those kind of pilots you know like to get a little bit freaky once they're away I think that that's such an important question to ask I actually like that she didn't just go along with whatever narrative that he wants for his life you know

I think that it's so important that they've sat down and had these conversations because five days on five days off is not going to suit everyone I don't think it would suit me that's not that's not a lifestyle I would want to sign up for especially with kids and like looking at spending you know our lives together because it would mean that I think as the partner of someone who is a pilot who is away five days at a time you would then have to maybe compromise on your career a little bit if you want to take care and raise children so I think that they're super important questions and I really you know I enjoyed how vulnerable she was about talking about her family and talking about her parents and why she feels sceptic

that that sort of arrangement could work for her because she's seen how it can play out and how it doesn't always work for everyone. Once again, I love Holly. Okay, so just to confirm, do you still think that she's going to win the show? When I say win, obviously it's like it's not a competition but in the same sense it is a competition.

What are you talking about? You were my prize. I just wish you'd clean your own underwear that's on the floor. We had the group date and I can only assume that it was a really cold day then in Banshee World because the girls were rocking up in thick Kathmandu and North Face jackets. It was actually the first thing I noticed. Lily comes waddling in.

She's got the thickest jacket, the kind of jacket you'd wear on an expedition to Antarctica. It's the first thing I noticed. So like normally on a group date, you wear like your cutest outfit, you put on like a little play suit, you get your hair did all sweet. Every single one of the girls rocked up in puffer jackets. so it must have been absolutely baltic i feel really sorry for them because the next night they were in cocktail dresses at the cocktail party the group date that the girls did on this

occasion was that they had to make their way through a maze a garden maze and during the maze or throughout the maze were going to be different questions that would set them off on a course if they answered the question correctly they would end up taking the fastest route to jimmy so basically in on the way to captain kinky there was signposts left right and it would tell them which way to go if they chose the wrong answer which was the answer that wasn't compatible with captain kinky they would get sent on the longest route through the maze or to a dead end which would be the longest route well you know just i mean accuracy is key matthew johnson i mean just want to make sure that people understand all facets of this game the first person to make it

through to the end of the maze gets some very special time with captain kinky the first lady to make their way to the middle of the maze, find Jimmy and ring his bell. What do you mean by that? Settle, settle. It's not a code for something sexy. He's actually got a bell. He's actually got a bell.

They've run out of group date ideas on this, so now they're just at the point where, like, if you find him, you get to give him a wristie. Jimmy's just there greased up, sitting there on a table naked. Come get me, girls! Ring my bell! No, nobody was masturbating Jimmy on a group date, unfortunately. It didn't go there.

But Brooke did win the group date. She got some extra time with him and she got to play a little card game, which was clearly set up. So basically they had all the cards face down on the table. If you pick a matching card to each other, you got to do whatever activity was on the card. She flips the card and then she has to masturbate Jimmy. Can you please stop using, just stop talking about masturbation?

It's not what happened. Look, it's been a while, okay? Okay, so the very first card was that they had to have a glass of wine together. The second card, I've forgotten, it's irrelevant. The third card was that they had to kiss each other. And, of course, every single card matched. Surprise, surprise, Jimmy kissing at the end of a date. Who would have thought?

It's really weird. I do find Brooke and Jimmy a little bit more on the awkward side. Like I find their interactions not as like just free-flowing and smooth and, like, comfortable with each other is what I find him with some of the other girls. And especially after a date like Holly where you're like, oh, my gosh, these two just have so much passion. There's so much chemistry between them. It means a date with Brooke.

Once you compare it, it's chalk and cheese. So I have a question for you, Matt. One of the questions that was asked in the compatibility in the maze was, where do you keep your tomato sauce? And I think this is going to be controversial for everyone. Is it in the cupboard? Do you keep it in the pantry? Or do you keep it in the fridge?

But 100% I believe that sauce, once it's open, should be kept in the fridge. I know that that's why you're my soulmate. Because I don't have to fight you on where things should be kept. But I also just like it when you put it on a snag and it's that nice contrast of a hot snag with a cold sauce. Ooh, plenty of time for a bit of cold sauce. What about public displays of affection was another question on there. What do you feel is appropriate there, Laura?

I will mack on with you in public and grab your bottom. Great. But nothing else. I used to be. How do you feel about that, man? You were very like, hmm, sure. Previously, I was anti-public displays of affection. I just thought it was a bit awkward and I didn't really like it.

Now, I'm very into it. Do you reckon that going on a show and kissing 24 women on national TV probably had something to do with it? Absolutely. When you really throw yourself into something, the more you do it, the better you feel about it, guys. What a surprise. While Brooke and Jimmy are on this extra time and on the date,

it becomes very obvious that the girls who are on this group date are feeling pretty bitter mostly because usually on a group date you at least get to spend some time with the bachelor even if it's as a group but in this instance none of them really got to spend any one-on-one time with him they didn't even get to spend group time with him because he was uh waiting naked laying on the table and yeah what a tease so steph was pretty upset about it but steph is definitely not dealing with this feeling of competition and rejection as well as Some of the other girls. I hope that the other girls break their legs.

But, okay, I understand why she's so frustrated because in that situation, if you're somebody like Steph, it would feel like you are far more deserving of extra time with Jimmy because Brooke's already had a full date with him. You know, she doesn't need more time. That would be so frustrating to hear that and to see that. I get it. But, I mean, anybody who's watching The Bachelor

and anybody who's been on the show knows it's not like what's fair. it's not how the show works it's obviously one who he's attracted to two who wins extra time like it's not a completely fair standard it's not like he gets the exact same amount of time with every single person it's just not how the show works and so I get that you can be upset that you haven't gotten time yet but I think it speaks volume about how you vent that frustration as we see when we get into the cocktail party the name calling and the real venom that she has towards Holly is pretty bad and it's pretty ugly behavior and I think that a lot of times when we see this sort of behavior it gets chopped up to editing or it can be frankenbiting is another big thing that

people talk about these days when it comes to like how a show is put together the thing with this is that we see Steph say that Holly is a c-bomb we see it come out of her mouth not only do we see it they've even gone to the effort of doing a rewind so that people can see it again okay let's just talking about the cocktail party okay let's just for a second at the very start back it up the very beginning all the girls are kind of you know everyone's a little bit stressed about getting more time with jimmy stock standard cocktail party chat holly then makes a point of saying i won't grab him because i've had a full date and i know how much the other girls want to speak to him so i'm going to sit back and play it safe and let the other girls have their time with jimmy

But it's interesting to note that Jimmy ended up positioning himself quite close to Holly when he entered the cocktail party. So, yeah, he grabs her first. They go away. And it looks to the other girls as if Holly has grabbed him. And so then Steph's reaction to that is that Holly is a see you next Tuesday. But this is also the second time that she's called Holly that in this episode. Yeah, she's dropped it multiple.

Yeah, she used that language at the very start and then she used it again. Now, yeah, look, I mean, I'm not down with name calling. we're adults I think even if you've got a beef with someone and you're not happy with someone in that environment calling someone those names makes me think that maybe she'd had a few whines as well because by the end of the night she couldn't even remember that she'd said it or she was so gaslighting of that situation that she was denying that she'd said it once she'd been caught out did you or did you not pull her the c word hand on heart I do not have a recollection of calling her that.

Isn't she fine again now? After all that drama with Holly and Steph and the rest of the girls, we come back from an ad break and it's Jay. It's business time. It needs to be called, not the business class lounge, it needs to be called like the activities room because every time she brings him in there, she's got some weird ass plan.

Jimmy must be like, what next? She's definitely heard that Jimmy is Captain Kinky and he likes to play dress-ups. It flashes to them and there they are in the fucking business lounge dressed up as tennis players. On their knees playing ping pong at a coffee table. What is going on? Mate, there's a lot going on.

Anyway, I don't understand. I was like, this is your one chance to, like, get to know this guy. Just talk. Just talk. Yeah, be intimate with him. It's almost like when you go on a first date with someone or, like, a second date or a third date and you don't know what you're going to talk about,

so you, like, create activities or you, like, Google conversation starters. Jay has gone out of her way. She's almost scared to have time by herself in the business lounge without a fucking activity. Next week it's Sudoku. She's got like a pottery wheel. She's like, so we're making bowls. Wait, didn't you make bowls with Florence on our season?

Yes. That's uncomfortable for everyone. Thank you for reminding me. All right. Now time for the rose ceremony. And Laura, you're going to be very disappointed here. Okay. Devastated.

You ready for this? Drum roll. We said goodbye to none other than Tamlin. Who is that? I like the look of Tamlin, but you said that she's very similar looking to Jimmy. No, I'm joking. Tamlin didn't get near enough airtime. We did see her very briefly on episode two where I think she was the celebrant at the photo shoot.

Yes, yes. She had three words. She also kind of looks like she could be related to Jimmy. They look like they're siblings. But that's a compliment because Jimmy is very attractive. People also say that we look like siblings and people like to date and marry people who look like them. So, you know what?

I'm surprised it didn't work out. Right now, it's like looking into a mirror. And Hannah, Hannah also went, I'll be very honest, I don't really know much about Hannah. I'm sure she's a nice girl. I'm sure she's really upset that she quit her job and put her house up for rent and, you know, went on The Bachelor Mansion for three weeks and got no airtime. Oh, she's 26. She's got plenty of time to fall in love.

So I know people will watch that episode and go, why is Steph still there? She's causing all this crap. That's ridiculous. But honestly, when you're The Bachelor, you don't notice all that drama going on because as soon as you get to a cocktail party, you might say a few words to the group

and then you're off having chats. And that's it for the whole night. Well, that was one of the things that Jimmy actually said to us when we interviewed him. He said that, you know, there was drama that went on, but he was completely oblivious to it until whoever it is that he chose, lucky number one, brought him up to speed on all the drama that had kind of gone down

after the show had finished. So right now, in the back of Jimmy's mind, he's probably driving home from each cocktail party being like, well, that was such a lovely night. Everybody was so pleasant. Meanwhile, the girls would be screaming at each other and there'd be tears. Did you know of any of the drama that was going on with us?

No. No, even I remember, I remember I didn't want to involve myself in the drama. I was like, I'll let that play out. Oh, you think you're going to rise above it. You think you were better than our drama. Didn't have time for the drama. I was too busy falling in love. I was too busy trying to juggle 24 women.

But there was times when I would be coming back from a chat and I would look across the room and there would be a girl crying. and i would think to myself laura oh i really need to check on her later on and the night would get away from me and all of a sudden it was the rose ceremony and hey i wonder how she's going now i thought about checking on her that's what that's what matters they do say it's the thought that counts matthew johnson anyway guys i reckon that that is a wrap i reckon that's enough from us um we hope that you enjoyed episode three well actually i'm gonna say that again we hope that you enjoyed episode four as much as we enjoyed episode four i know

that the general consensus on the facebook group was that episode three was a little bit of a snooze fest but i reckon it's just gonna get better from here on in so strap yourselves in put on your undies and let's go that was weird so wash those feet in the sink because things are about to get hectic anyway guys you know the drill if you haven't subscribed if you haven't told your mom your dad your friends and everybody else oh also before i get into that we're back next tuesday with our very first real episode me and brit we're back behind the microphones i didn't know about this well we don't we don't pay you enough for you to be on every episode man you don't pay me anything true i pay you in love anyway guys tell your mom tell your dad tell

your friends tell your sister and your brother and your cousin and i don't know just keep it in the family and share the love because we love love can you do it properly we love love we love love we love we love it it's great love love uh love speaking of i'm gonna go wash my feet We'll be right back.