Life Uncut - BACH UNCUT - Three's a crowd

Episode Date: January 11, 2023

Holy hell we’re BACKKKKK.. Can you bloody believe it? Well, we can’t either. Lot’s has changed with the Bachelor - there’s three men looking for love. Please meet **drum roll please** Felix, Jed and Thomas! Also, at the end of last season Osher sold all the old decorations on Facebook Marketplace and moved to the Goldy. This means Bach is in a new city, there’s no red carpet or fairy lights and new roses. Oh, and the guys have to propose at the finale (we think, we’re still working it all out). The show kicks off with Bachies selecting women (via rose offerings) on speed dates all around the country. Some tell the pipsqueaks to beat it (sorry Jed), some play tonsil hockey (hello Felix) and some cry (bless you Thomas). The rose holders all pack up their bags and travel to the Gold Coast to move in with Osher. Then it’s time for the first cocktail party (ep 2) which is just Felix eating Tilly’s face. We then have a group date/pool party, which is just Felix eating Naomi’s face. You may have noticed there’s a recurring theme here. Then we say goodbye to three randoms at a rose ceremony! If you’re still reading this, 10 points to you. We’re up to ep 3 and Tash drops the news that Jess (dating Felix) is polyamorous and has a boyf on the outside. Felix flips out and decides to head home and sulk as Jed takes Tash on a date as Thomas heads off with Leah. Then there’s a group date at Dreamworld (nothing happens). However at the rose ceremony, the woman have a wild brawl because of how Tash behaved. It all kicks off and I think it’s official, Tash is the villain of the season. Thoughts and prayers with the woman who left at the rose ceremony - Abby, Emma and Palen or Kalen or Falen.. If you loved this episode we would love it if you would take 30 seconds to leave a review, or go and follow @lifeuncutpodcast for more of the action.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders, past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode is recorded on Gadigal land of the Aurora Nation. Kids are definitely going to wake up, and that's going to suck because it's 10 o'clock at night. Why did you want to do it in the kitchen?

um you know why don't i want to do it in the kitchen you've never ever ever wanted to do it in the kitchen ever and by do it we mean podcasting we've never had sex in the kitchen we've never had sex anywhere and we have sex in the bedroom literally it's very safe we've got children and we live in a small house they could find us and see us and that shit is traumatizing if we were going to have sex in the kitchen where would you have it oh people eat on this table yeah We'd start here and then we'd end up in the bedroom. When I say start, we'd just be like, huh? Someone points at the bedroom.

How about it? All right, let's go. Let's shuffle off to the bedroom once again. Hey guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. It has been a hot minute. It's not really Life Uncut. You're not Brittany Hockley. It's Batch Uncut.

Here we are. I'm back. It's me, Laura, and my darling, Matthew David Johnson. Now your husband. Aha. Do you know what I think every time I say your name though? Matthew David Johnson. I think it's so weird that your mum gave you the middle name David

and then had another son and named him David. She really liked the name David. But, like, why? Like, it's a fine name. But, like, David is so nice that she named both her children David. I think it was – Biblical. Yeah, very biblical.

Why are you attacking my mum like that? How dare you? Ellie did her best as a mother. And you're pulling apart the way that she named her children. Because it is 10 o'clock at night and the reason why we're recording this so late is because Matthew's a beautiful mother who I love more than anything. She is wonderful.

She has been here. She cooked a great lasagna. She has been staying in our house. You guys love a chat. You guys started chatting, so I checked out. We do. Matt leaves us to talk and then what he does is he'll just trail off and watch the TV, which means that then I'm the one who's only having

the conversation and he's just not even a part of it. He's not even in the room mentally. I was like, it's 9 o'clock and we still haven't started recording. And this is why Batch Uncut is always a mad dash to the finish line. it always is it always is it is i can i just say and every year we say we're never going to do it again and then every year here we are and do you know why we say we're never going to do it again why because each year we say oh this is the year that the bachelor is going to get cancelled and it just keeps on coming back i suggested the idea and i i in no way put any pressure on you

whatsoever i don't know what it was just one night as we're going to bed you were like let's do it And then here we are. That's literally how both of our children were born as well. But, yeah, so here we are. This is on you. I didn't force this upon you. This is not my doing at all. No, no, no, no.

I came to the table fully, wholeheartedly and willingly. And do you know what? There is so much to unpack. And on past seasons, I feel like we have been, like, I feel like we're equipped to talk about The Bachelor. You know, we've obviously done it. we've been on it we know that we understand the format of the show i feel like we if anything were probably the most equipped to talk about it you know out of people who have chosen to

this season i'm not so sure because i don't know what the fuck is happening what do you mean you think it's changed so much you're watching it being like i don't ever know what's happening it's still there's osha there's a mansion there's roses there's girls it's not that different it's completely different it's not like it's a fight to the death and the winner gets a bachelor it's pretty much what it is it's okay why is it why do you think it's so different i mean well firstly i'm sure this is no spoiler to anyone but there are three bachelors sure that one of them wasn't holding the show strong so they needed to go for three and spread it out more evenly so we have three new bachelors no longer is there like the red carpet entrance and no longer is there like

the glitz and the glam it just feels hey hey hey it's the gold coast it is very glamorous thank you very much it feels grungy and dirty and i know that that's going to end up being taken as like a headline i don't mean dirty as in like sinful a little bit sinful but i just feel like it's a bit more mathsy it's a bit grittier it doesn't have like the fairy tale romance element to it anymore which i think is what the bachelor franchise has been built on i did miss the red carpet arrivals for me that was one of my favorite parts of the entire series so when they cut that out i was a little bit like oh really and even osha's like i don't know what's happening here yeah he's he's in the corner smoking a cigarette he's not even wearing a suit anymore he's just

there in pluggers and a pair of board shorts and he's like yeah like the chicks are over there i guess like get stuck in boys the other thing is we've got three episodes to unpack here so pull up your undies and strap on in matt and i both have a gin cheers my love all right well we've got three episodes we have three episodes to unpack which is so much fucking tv it is three hours and like it's like almost four hours of tv why this is my first gripe this is before we get into like the format changing and the men and felix making out with every single woman why are they putting three episodes on a week and the episodes are going for an hour and 15 minutes they're fucking long episodes aren't they who are they doing this to

we have children i would be happy with half an hour episodes i have a job like i have a life we've all got other things that we need to do the reason why people are going to listen to these recaps is because nobody has enough time in their life to watch that much of the bachelor it's because there's three of them now that's why it's taking so long and there's like there's like 80 girls there's 80 girls there's actually like a giant pit and within that pit is like a hundred or so women who are like, help feed me. I have a theory. This was actually filmed just during schoolies and they just hoarded a whole heap of women who were staying in a hotel together. And they're like, here, survival of the fittest. All right, well, let's start with episode number one.

Now we sat down to watch The Bachelors. And for a moment there, I was pretty confused as to whether it was actually The Bachelor that we were watching or an episode of Lux Listing. You'll be seeing a lot of this stunning 74th floor penthouse as these men support each other. But there's a lot to love about this place, the pool, the gym, this magnificent view. But I reckon that penthouse would sell for at least $10 million. Surely more. Oh, no, I was thinking the whole building.

No, I don't reckon the penthouse would be $10 million. The whole building. It's Q1, Laura, on the Gold Coast. I don't know how much property costs anymore. Okay, the thing, though, about this, and I don't know if anyone noticed this, but there was a part of it that made me go, oh, that feels a little bit seedy and uncomfortable. so the penthouse that the guys are staying in looks directly into the mansion that the girls

are living in as well i like that it's great why because you can be like hey everybody get like you know you can stay in contact whilst you're not on an actual date they don't have like a tin can and a piece of string they've all got mobile phones that could whatsapp each other i think it's like really privacy intrusive i reckon they could sit there with binoculars if they wanted to and look into the girls backyard where the pool is and the girls at least i know from my season that They all kind of sunbaked topless. And I think that that's like kind of a bit gross. These poor men.

I think it's disgusting as well. Let's talk about Jed, who I know that people keep saying it. It's like the longest running joke, but Jed is Machine Gun Kelly. Oh, like we did some forensic investigation today. Identical. I got stuck in the deep dark web and I was looking at photos of actual Machine Gun Kelly and I was like, oh, this is where the budget's gone.

They literally hired Machine Gun Kelly to come and do The Australian Bachelorette. And he's just changed his name to Jed and thinking that no one's going to notice. It is Machine Gun Kelly. It's crazy. Please, if you haven't looked at this, please go and Google Machine Gun Kelly.

Same bone structure. Everything, same person. Drummer. Or maybe his younger brother. He's 25. Too young. Too young. And I know that there's going to be people listening to this podcast

who are 25 and they're married and they'll probably take offense to this. And I don't mean to say that all 25-year-olds are too young to get married. 99%. but no no i'm joking sorry joking not 99 but anyone who is 25 and signs up to be the bachelors is not someone who is ready to settle down i don't think so anyway when i when a 25 year old's like i'm gonna find the love of my life through a reality tv reality tv is your last resort i dated everyone in fucking sydney before i signed up for a reality tv show it is not your first line

of contact um he's also very religious and uh grew up on a farm apparently as well that's jed he's a real oxymoron isn't he very oxymorony is that what that means when someone has like lots of things going no idea that might be the wrong word i'm like oh yes um if all the oxymoronation on this is unbelievable laura also if that was an insulting thing to call someone i might look it up because that's not what i didn't mean to call him a moron it's just like an oxymoron Let's just move on to Felix. All right. Well, Felix.

Holy shit. Holy shit. I really liked him. I saw him on the project and I really liked him. He seemed like he had like a nice, nice persona going on. Yeah, this is the thing about fuckboys though, Matthew Johnson. Yes. They're very good at fooling you until all of a sudden you're like,

holy shit, why is he making out with every single woman in front of me? If I was a woman, I'd fuck him. I would. I would. I was watching him being like, he's very cute and he's handsome and he played sport and he's so strong and i'm like he would fuck me over in a heartbeat i would say because you're so nice you're a nice guy maddie j i would be in tears to you being like why is felix not messaged me yeah why has he messaged me back i thought he i thought he

lied to me i thought he was into me he said that he wanted something really serious that's that's how that's how good he is okay so felix i thought when i first saw felix i was like why have they even bothered having other bachelors like surely he is you know strong enough he's of bachelor pedigree i was like surely he's strong enough to like carry the show on his own but now after watching three episodes and i'm sure we'll get into it all very very shortly i understand why maybe he wasn't chosen to be this single only bachelor because as much as he says that he's looking to settle down he's never been in a relationship before which i always find this interesting because it's like how can you say that you're ready to settle down if you've never

ever been in a relationship. You don't know what you're settling down to. You don't know what you're having. It's like someone saying, I love skiing. I really want to just go skiing. And you're like, well, why? Have you been before? I've never been. But I know that I'm going to love it. I know I'm ready to ski. You're not ready to ski. You've never trained. You've never tried. How would you know? It doesn't make any sense. At the very least, it does seem like Felix is aware of the reasons why maybe it's never worked out with anyone in the past. For me, it's always been a hookup culture. The first and foremost thing I look for is physical attractiveness.

And that's what I've been looking for my whole life. And you know what, I'm 27. I've never been in a proper relationship. Have I been looking for the wrong thing? I guess I'm about to find out. Okay, and then we have Thomas, who is very different to the other two bachelors. He's 35. He's one of the oldest or the oldest bachelor we've ever had.

They speak about him later on in the episodes as though he's a geriatric. like the guys 35 they're like you are the oldest of all the bachelors look at your gray hair literally there's a set of stairs and they're like are you okay to walk up these thomas are you sure although to be fair it's a it's a 10-year demographic between jed and thomas and i guess maybe they're trying to appeal to a really wide audience by having these three different diverse characters but the thing that i found you know like to be fair i really like thomas i think he seems genuine i hate that word but he seems authentic he seems like wait for it he's there for the right reasons oh shut up i hate myself okay don't just vomit in my own mouth that i said

that literally but okay the thing about he's so quintessentially eastern suburb sydney the thing about thomas is that he's found himself he's found this enlightenment and he really loves bondi a little too much while i have italian heritage this is the place i call home and this is the place i want to spend the rest of my life with what the i'll spend the rest of my life with so at this point now that we know our bachelors and we've been introduced to who they are on a very top line way we get to know a little bit more about how the actual mechanics of this season are going to work and like the fact that like the formatting and that's one thing about this that I will give it credit to so many people for the last couple of seasons of

batch have really pushed against the formatting and said, you know, it's too formulaic, you know, there's no surprises anymore. Everybody it's just cut and copy and this complete repeat of season after season. And I do feel like the producers have listened and they have tried to provide something very, very different in terms of the formatting. Now, one of the differences is the fact that the three bachelors after we've been

introduced to who they are, they're standing there and Osher comes out. And it comes as a surprise to even them that at the end of this experiment they're going to have to propose to someone. Imagine signing up for The Bachelor, being The Bachelor, and then on the show being like, well, you're really in for it now, you better fucking propose to someone. No, but I don't think I agree with the first part of your statement in that they have really tried to mix things up.

But then when they talk about the proposals, it's still a question of if you feel ready, you will propose. Is it not? Are they saying, like, Osher will be there, gun to your head, being like, get on your fucking knees now. You know what you signed up for. We need the ratings. Osher, please, fucking do it.

Okay, well, when you were The Bachelor, did they not strongly suggest? Never. But did they strongly suggest that you should propose or was it always just an option? It was always like, it's entirely up to you. So then, therefore, it feels different this time because it's yes it is up to them but the it's been strongly suggested that if they feel strong enough for the person that they should propose so do you think they're trying to be like america

where in their seasons of bachelor it's always a proposal do you think that's what they're trying to do now 100 and i also think that they're sexing it up in the same way that you know the american bachelor you can have sex on the bachelor the american bachelor you get overnight stays i think that they're trying to like you know dirty it up a little bit because american bachelor's been around for like 120 years so they're like whatever they're doing we want in although when you think about it not that i mean i'm sure the american bachelor actually makes for better tv but the success rate of the couples is very low in comparison to the australian bachelor yes that's right maybe they are making it more like the american bachelor because it's been around for

120 years dirtier six years you've had way too much gin uh let's talk about speed dating okay well this is the other big difference is that instead of everybody arriving on the red carpet and having a little one-on-one time instead the guys are going out and doing shut up you are going out and doing speed dating and they're given 10 slightly dead roses uh if the roses are different aren't they the roses were dying okay all of them had been out of water for too long when we used to get the roses on site there was like a special van that would come they had like a refrigerated unit within the vans the roses were like the creme de la creme of the rose industry whereas these ones are like picked up from the fucking bp down the road these

are gold coast roses they're hot for the record big fan of the gold coast lovely people there matt is kind of from the he's from brisbane can't do a rose if you're looking for roses do not get the gold coast what i meant by a gold coast rose is that it's very fucking hot in the gold coast so the roses don't stay perfectly like roses they're like a bit wilty they're very wilty they're so wilted anyway so the boys are running around these three bachelors are running around Australia with 10 roses each and it is the most brutal speed dating I think I've ever seen so you don't agree with me Matt there was many different dates basically the guys had to go and have these like short interactions with the women a 20 minute little interaction dates and at the end of it they

had to either give them a rose or say hey you know i wasn't really feeling it i think the men handled the hi i'm sorry i don't have a connection and then they walked off into the sunset particularly fucking badly yeah it was like they didn't get briefed properly by producers like if you don't like someone you can just say thank you so much i had a great time i'm so sorry this won't go any further wish you all the best goodbye jen just gets up and walks away mostly literally like mid-sentence he's like all right fucking see ya and like just starts storming off with his drumsticks in hand and the chicks are like looking at the camera and then then one one girl even says is that is that it to the producer off camera and like it was it was wild i think the

thing that's made a lot of conversation and i've seen it i saw it in the facebook group i saw it on and across social media the very first speed date was with a woman in caitlin blonde beautiful gorgeous woman she was a psychologist and Jed and now Jed tried to give her a rose because after 20 minutes he was like you are the perfect package you're everything I've ever been looking for and she incredibly politely very well spoken said do you know what I'm actually not feeling this I don't think you're the right person for me hey and Jed took it really really well very mature at 25 I wasn't sure how he how he would handle it but well done to Jed will you accept this so um it has been lovely to get to know you but unfortunately i'm not going to accept this rose

i'd love to stay friends and stay in contact yeah good well it was lovely meeting you cheers please don't hate me You sure don't think I'm hot? What a bash to the ego. You know what? Better to know now. Jed, tell me what happened. It was brutal. Absolutely brutal.

I just thought I was the one making those decisions, but apparently not. On to the next one, I guess. Me. This is outrageous to me. You cannot. I'm sorry. Just because you're the bachelor does not mean that all women will want to be with you. Yes, it does, Laura.

It absolutely fucking does not. It casts a spell over them. They can't refuse you. But also, like, how childish to react in such a petulant way. Because Jed is 12 and a half. they've gotten a bachelor who's not even hit puberty okay well the problem with this is then this then goes on to affect jed on every single date he has after that because for the next 54 women that jed goes on a date with he can't get over the fact that he's been his small fragile

male ego has been bruised and he he just then he rejects people in a really brutal way because of it yeah like a girl sneezes and he's like you're out next let's talk about crystal for a second i like her a lot i love crystal plenty of time for crystal she was on a date with felix she was like she came in hot and ready and heavy but i really like and and like as each episode has kind of evolved the last three episodes i like how assertive she is but she also is like very witty and very funny i think english people are so good do you know why they're so good why because it rains so much that they can't just rely on their good looks they have to have good chat yes yeah In Australia, literally like if you want to be anything in life,

it's like get abs, get a tan. You can just be hot. If you live in Bondi, you can just be hot. You don't have to be funny because you can just walk down Bondi Beach and people are like, oh, look, another hot person. No, but in the UK, you're in jeans, boots, jacket, beanie. The hotness can never get out. Yeah, no one knows.

You have to have a personality. And I know that on EP1, they're always going to throw in what looks like a really amazing connection, but her and felix are getting along like for 20 minutes i'm like holy shit okay these guys have got great chemistry this is my only question right and like i'm all for again this is your only question no more after this okay what is it no i've asked a lot of questions these speed dates are only 20 minutes that's it 20 minutes so so cameras on 20 minutes of spending time with each other things progressed on a lot of these dates very very quickly i can't imagine myself ever

with no alcohol with no middle of the day 20 minutes no alcohol it could have been morning it could have been like 8 30 a.m it probably was going on like a coffee date with a guy and then having him eat my face 20 minutes afterwards like i'm just amazed by how quickly they have managed to get to having a connection like i really i don't know whether this is like a produced thing whether they were encouraged like hey if this goes well kiss them at the end of it but like there seemed to be so much physical attraction that was happening so early on especially for 20 minutes which is why 20 minutes is like a coffee date it's a walking date i don't know about you but most of my dates back in the day laura would have ended after 20 minutes with me and my undies

rubbing my back yeah god you have one gin and you turn into this animal but yeah crystal will she win i don't think so what did you wait what did your 21 dates end up you know i would need to know where that goes yeah i never i think literally would shake their hand and be like thank you very much oh yeah pleasure to meet you i may give them a hug i probably wouldn't even kiss on the first date nothing wrong with that you're also old school bachelor you're not a you're not jed philip so thomas hey felix von hoff i think that's his name will he will he end up with crystal i don't think so will she make it to the end yes not only does she have great chemistry but she is like the number one narrator for the season she's it do you know what we didn't do what we didn't

pick our winners because we've just started we haven't placed our bets yet we've talked about two girls so far we've got so many speed dates to go through to be honest there were so many girls and it i'd like at this point in time of watching the episodes i have no idea who there was an anna there was cheese there was some tantric moves there was a party yeah body painting oh there there was the life drawing classes. There was a lot of things. Wait, there was this one, which I thought was quite special.

So beautiful. Yeah, don't you feel so zen? So zen. I feel so great. And you're beautiful. You really are. Going on from that, unfortunately, she didn't get a rose,

but, you know, they had a special moment. She was the one who was confused. For a split second, I thought, this is it. Thomas will marry this woman. It didn't make any sense. He's very confused. They can meditate their way through Bondi.

Literally. Literally. I would walk past him definitely in the morning at bondo beach doing like a silent retreat on the sand or they're doing some sort of wim hof breathing techniques and then an ice bath afternoon do you feel personally victimized by that yeah i'm like i i did my first ice bath session last week oh my god i'm turning into thomas and i love and found myself in bondo um can we talk about tilly for a quick second for a hot minute like not even that 30 seconds she went on the date with felix

she was doing the cricket day i do like tilly she is a hot minute she's beautiful ridiculous again she has abs on her forehead there's so many abs some people would look weird with abs on their forehead not tilly she looks fantastic not tilly with the abs on her forehead very very nice um great makeout session as well with felix felix is getting stuck are you all right there sorry look i'm just really enjoying watching felix do his thing well something that i thought was pretty notable to bring up and i i think that this is completely overproduced tell me if you think that i'm i disagree if i'm being too much of a little it was beautiful and negative nancy it was beautiful so the very last date uh is felix

on a date with a girl named abigail who brings her pussy to her date she brings her kitty cat in her backpack uh she is a self-proclaimed crazy cat lady i have plenty of fucking time for her Because I am lady and a cat. You can't get much more crazy cat than this. She rocked up with this little scooter thing and she had 12 cats with her. The whole time it was just like. One of them was jumping out of her hair. Literally, she was just like trying to like retain the cats on the day.

It's like that woman on The Simpsons. She opens the door and all the cats fall out onto the street. One of them's like in a cleavage. She was throwing cats at Felix. she wouldn't kiss Felix until he started kissing the cats no she wouldn't she wouldn't kiss Felix until he started to meow and lick her like a cat okay this has got too weird anyway lots of cats her name is Abigail for the record there was one cat yeah and the cat's name was Minnie or Mimi I heard the name so many times that I remembered the cat's name more than I remembered half the

girls names on the speed dates okay but the thing that i think is contrived is felix went on this speed date with abigail who's super lovely and he wants to give her a rose but he's got no roses left no no more but jed has a rose and then there's this contrived drama some suspense that's being created where felix has to call jed and jed is like oh yeah man i'll give you my rose you're the kind of person that watches an action flick and they're like there's no way at all he'd be able to survive if you fell off that it was so to me it was like an unnecessary fake jeopardy just enjoy it for what it is fake jeopardy just enjoy the 12 cats flying across the screen it was it was beautiful okay look all in all there were 30 girls that got roses and i think it's fair to say

the ones that didn't get a rose took it really well he seemed like a bit of a dick anyway to be All right, we are coming to the end of episode one. Thank the Lord. So episode one finishes at the cocktail party. However, it's not a cocktail party anymore, Matthew Johnson. But it is a cocktail party. It's not a cocktail party. It's a house party.

It's a dingy house party now. It's a Gold Coast house party. Osh is like, hey, there's no fairy lights you can see anywhere around here. Okay, wait. Why is Osha shitting on the old bachelor so hard? like he's like there's no fake candles no fairy lights no fake flowers yeah it wasn't the fairy lights all the fake flowers all the candles that were the fucking problem and and also a couple of fairy lights wouldn't hurt anybody what is the face the face it kind of like reminds me of like

a big brother thing the face on the outside of the building that they keep flashing to every so often for anyone who hasn't seen the show so far the batch mansion is this like white building and it has this face where it's just like the outline of like the like is it a picasso it's an abstract artwork of a face and it just personally i like it i think it's a nice touch that's why you aren't in control of anything that has to do with interiors and however the girl who studied fine arts is like oh my god that face what is that i don't understand i don't understand why it's used as like the reset every time it goes to ad break it's like and it goes to that face It's like the Big Brother Eye.

Yes, it's the Big Brother Eye. Do you know what? Maybe it's trying to – I feel like this season is trying to be a cross between, like, Love Island, The Bachelor, maths, and a bit of Big Brother. It is a bit of Batcham Paradise, I find. No. Let's talk about the cocktail party. Okay, all right.

So this episode ends with not a cocktail party, it's a house party, and the thing that happens that's like everyone's like, oh, my God, no, shock, ha, ha, ha, and it goes on for about ten minutes too long is that all the girls find out that there's not one but there's actually three bachelors and it's truly shocking for them they can't believe that that's the case i don't know what i would do if i found out that there were three about like if i was in the house going back to our season and i found out that there was three uh you'd be you'd just be sussing them out right you'd be like okay

well did i get the best one oh 100 you'd be like fuck how did i get that one well i i do feel like everybody would look to felix as being numero uno yeah except for the way that he behaves on the next episode which we'll get to very shortly maybe now i was like are we where are we going maybe to an ad break yeah yeah take this time to go to the toilet get a refreshment and we'll be back right a second let's talk about episode two cocktail party but it's not a cocktail party it's a house party thing i'm glad you finally agree with me it's not a cocktail party it's a house But it is a cocktail party. No, it's a schoolies house party.

There's no roses once again. There's no candles. There's no twinkles. No champagne. No. Oh, they look like they were drinking cocktails. Maybe they were champagne. Sorry.

They actually looked like they were drinking margaritas. And that's a cocktail party I can get behind. Spicy Marks, anyone? Hello. Do you know who did look like that had a few Spicy Marks? Who? Tash, when she walked in and just pashed Jed right in front of everyone. That was aggressive, wasn't it?

So, okay, there was a lot of pashing that went on at this cocktail party. Some of it we feel more strongly about than others. I don't think there's ever been a make-out session in full view of everyone. Yes, there has. Has there? Yes. Do you remember when a Laura tried to kiss you? Yeah, no, but it didn't actually happen.

Should we fight about that again now? Like, okay, let's stop record. Laura's had 12 gins, so she's going to try and fight me. About something that I don't care about anymore. I don't think there's always been attempts at kisses at cocktail parties, but I don't think there's actually been a full-on make-out session. do you know in full view agree agree agree with me agree with me thank you i feel no no i think i was so close no there was did matt agnew somebody somebody no it was lucky someone did

it and we were like oh the dirty pass rat like someone has done it before there has always been an unspoken rule no one cares about the rules anymore of course but look we are old school we cared about them at the time because we had to stick by them and the rules were that you don't make out with someone in front of the other girls like you don't make out with your bachelor or bachelorette in front of the other people because and obviously you know that you people are hooking up but it needs to be out of sight out of mind and the reason for that is because it's kind of it's not so much the fact that you're like oh my god they actually really are making out with someone oh it hurts my feelings it's not about not seeing it it's the act of feeling like somebody is

manipulating you in a way so like let me describe this properly but it's like if you see somebody at a cocktail party make out with the bachelor it's a real manipulation tool for them to be like I have got this in the bag it's like them pissing on their turf to say I own this and it makes everybody else feel inferior about their connection so it's a real way of just like marking your territory and owning it which you know some people might look at that and be like yeah independent strong person going after what they want and other people might look at it as being like that's pretty disrespectful to the other people who are also feeling like they have strong connections and have also kissed the guy who whatever i don't you know we can all have our

own opinions on how this plays out but tash was pretty forward she walked up she kissed jed he seemed a bit taken aback it was quick it's quick yeah to be honest i didn't even see it i was like i looked away on your phone i looked away for a second look back and you're like oh my god tash and Jed have just made out. But that didn't seem to have a lot of backlash. The one that did have the most backlash, the one that has been causing a whole lot of stir on mine. Oh, my God.

Let's talk about Felix. Ah, Felix. For a moment there, episode one, I was really into you. And then they did the old bait and switch, although I do feel that to do a bait and switch by episode two, it's a bit early in the season. Yeah, he really did a 180 quickly, didn't he? Is he showing his true colours?

or has he gotten a bad edit? No, I think he's just gotten carried away. I think because it is easy on, you know, this is a few days into filming, all of a sudden he's surrounded by ten beautiful women and he's like, do you know what? I'm going to get fucking stuck in. And he's like, and he's got the mentality of.

Oh, I'm going to get fucking stuck in. Did I turn English? No, but it just was so bogus. I've been watching. I'm going to get fucking stuck in, mate. No, but that's the thing. And he kind of has this mentality of like, I deserve this. I've gotten to the position of being the bachelor.

It's my inherent right to now get stuck into the girls. He is like a kid in a candy store. Literally. He's there. We cut back to Felix and he's there with his cock out and he's masturbating furiously in the corner in the pool. That is illegal. And everyone's like, oh, my God, Felix.

and he's like, I'm the bachelor, I deserve this. Let me have my moment. And it's confronting, it really is. And then he got arrested and the season was finished. No, okay, what he did do is he was the one that was instigating the kissing and it was obviously just with Tilly and it was in front of all of the girls.

Like he was, he did not care how anybody felt and to be honest. But how can you, anyone with any kind of emotional intelligence would know that doing that is going to absolutely rattle everybody else. It's just going to piss everyone. Like if that was me and I was in that house and I had been matched with Felix,

and I know that there was one girl who did leave, but, you know, like she left and she said, I've just come out of a relationship. I don't feel like I'm emotionally in the right place to deal with this. The thing is, the woman who left, her name was Ella. She said she didn't feel like she was emotionally ready for this. I reckon she's the emotional MVP of this whole thing. Like she left because she was like, hey, this seems like a bit of mind fuckery is going on.

And Felix, the little dirty dribbler over there in the corner, dribbling all over Tilly, isn't really someone I want to get myself involved with. And so she left. He is such a dirty dribbler. Basketball, did you get the pun? Dirty dribbler. Felix the dirty dribbler. So Felix dribbled all over Tilly and then. Twice.

Two locations. Tilly went inside and then they relocated to another area to dirty dribble on her. He was like, all right, I'm going to leave you. You can talk to other women. And he was like, where are you? And like hunted her down, like another corner of the Batch mansion. To be fair, the second time she looked like she was more into it than the first. The first time she actually looked like she had a grimace on her face.

But they got a blanket and they just covered their faces as if like, oh, that's going to work. No, it's like when Marley or Lola, they want to play hide and seek and they just pull a blanket over their heads. Like no one can see me. Mummy, where did I go? That's literally what Tilly and Felix did. Oh, my gosh.

It was a bit of a disaster. And look, I think, unfortunately, from this, this has kind of really set a precedent with the girls. As much as a lot of the girls are still wanting time and they're still wanting to kind of be in Felix's orbit, I think a lot of them are now looking at him and going, like, do I want to be chosen by a guy who doesn't seem to care about my feelings at all?

But also, also, it's ep two. Things can change. Felix is getting a little excited, but let's not rule him out entirely. just now we've got a long way to go to the end now to be fair so many people at this point in time may claim editing may claim frankenbiting like there's lots of different ways that somebody can be cast to be a bit of a villain but in saying that and assuming that the edit is not trying to fuck felix like assuming that you know and i don't know if the bachelor would intentionally try and like frame one of their main like characters as a villain do you think like i

don't know they might sacrifice there's three of them so they're like hey we could we can make everyone turn on one of you because we've got two others because this is something they've never done before i feel like in the past they've always protected their bachelors or bachelorettes and kind of like you know they will always get the hero edit because they are the main character but i guess with having three people i'm just trying to give benefit of the doubt i'm trying to play devil's advocate here maybe felix is kind of getting a bit of a dud edit because it works to have this dynamic between the three different bachelors. Yeah, well, we've always had a villain, but it's always been a woman.

And all of a sudden now we've got potentially a villain who's going to be one of the leads. And to be fair, look, I mean, editing aside, he's certainly not doing himself any favours. In this process, if I've got a connection with someone, I'm going to kiss them. I'm not going to hold myself back at risk of offending someone else. If they're insecure with that, then it's off-putting to me.

Yeah. This whole thing is so much easier at 3am at a nightclub. I don't regret kissing Tilly. I regret getting caught kissing Tilly. So, I got carried away. Not in a bad way. Would I get carried away again? Yes.

There is so much going on at this point and now we've only covered Felix and his, like, kissing little make-out sessions. But there was more. How much do you love that noise? I hate it so much. I do it to Matt all the time. Whenever, like, he's like, hey, honey, give me a kiss,

and then I'll, like, make that noise at him. And it's now made its way onto the podcast. And it repulses him so much that he's just, like, he dries up like the Sahara. Can you be wet? Just are we? Oh, my gosh. Just keep going.

Like, let's just steamroll through this. Because you dry up like the Sahara. You shrivel. You shrivel up like a little raisin. you having fun over there you're so proud of your jokes okay there was a kiss that we forgot to mention oh who's this oh there's just so many that were going on but jed jed jed had another little pash not the pash with tash oh the tash pash he patched another girl he patched another girl who was alicia the yes elisa elisa alicia alicia

alicia the who was the ice skating girl so he patched her out in the front lawn in the garden no one saw which i know like it's weird it's weird that it's okay to patch someone if no one sees it but it seems to be a bit better i was a little outraged at all the kissing going on but now i'm also looking at thomas and being like come on mate hurry up lift your game what are you what waiting for why is he so nice no one likes a nice guy thomas they always get picked last i bet you thomas is the one that doesn't end up getting proposed like proposing anyone oh bless his cotton socks bet you it's felix and jed and they're going to end up breaking up within three months yeah 100 as soon as the contract ends that's a joke there is no contract okay

you are wild okay so the house party ends they go on a group date it's the thing about the group date is that only those who go on a group date are able to be eliminated they are and i guess that that's one of the other double-edged sword i kind of like that though i think that if you go on a group date and it's like it makes sense that you should be up for elimination because that's the people who have had the most time with the bachelors i don't i don't dislike that change the format but i do agree with you matt when you kind of think about it it was like you know that was so formal well yes i do agree with you matt well you're not fucking wrong but what i'm saying is i kind of agree with you um they have a group date the thing that has gotten everybody

riled up about this group date the reason why felix has become the dirty dribbler the public enemy number one is because he got all his girls together he apologized for kissing Tilly in front of them however he woke up the next day and realized that you know what making out with people and completely disregarding everybody else's feelings in the interim whilst you're trying to find the one is probably not a smart way of going about looking for your future wife because all that's going to do is piss everybody off and you're going to end up having people walk out so he gets everyone together at the pool he apologizes he says you know he acknowledges he got a little bit carried away he's growing he's acknowledging he did wrong this is great he's

learning yeah good on him until hang on a second felix what are you doing is that naomi that you've got your tongue down literally sees one girl in a bikini and he can't help himself he's just he's so shallow i think he's just a very shallow creature i'm honestly so surprised that not more girls have walked out like if that was you i mean this is a weird thing to ask if you were in that situation and you were one of the girls would you stay like would you wait around and hope that felix picked you or would you by this point in time be like this is a real mind fuck i'm not it's it's so hard because you're right at the very beginning and you're like i don't want to no i've just started this marathon you know i'm literally moments into it i don't want to then

throw my toys out of the pram and leave not knowing what could have been obviously it's not looking good at this stage right now but you're like surely you're thinking to yourself i've got to give it just a little bit of time to see if this guy is actually a massive player or not but also at the same time there is a part of me that is thinking thank goodness that felix is in the mix because he's making some good tv finally 100 and you know this is the thing right for so long we've all complained about how boring the bachelor is we've all complained that it's formulaic we've all complained that it's carbon copy all the things i said earlier this do i think that this is going to save the batch franchise not necessarily no i think that people are kind of over you know just

they're just over in general but do i really want to see how this plays out with felix absolutely Yeah. And I think that you can dislike people, right? Like we, you know, I can watch Felix on TV and I can not like the way he's behaving. I can not like him as a person, whatever it is. I don't know him, but as a character on a show, I can not like that, but I still think it makes for really interesting TV. And at the end of the day, the other thing that I think is important is that as much as we take the piss out of these episodes and we have a big laugh about it, it also makes you unpack what isn't, isn't okay in relationships as well. You know, it makes you question like how do i want to be treated what is so for anyone out there thinking

how do i behave at a pool party little lesson don't do it don't do what felix does everything felix does does do the opposite yeah young guys out there listening write this down three women go home on this episode no one knows who they are where they've come from i don't even think we've seen their faces before one had short hair one was blonde one a black hair rest in peace episode number three well don't things get spicy in this one do you know what we do okay so you guys understand a bit of the behind the scenes of recording we we record like each so we kind of like sit down together we unpack like the episode we record episode one then we take a quick break we record episode two and when we say quick break

it's to get more gin so as these episodes progress we just get slightly more tipsy and we're having a fucking great time but also the quality of the unpacking goes rapidly downhill so i asked matt to make me another gin and he said no you were how about i have another one i was like i don't think you need any more he was like how the fuck are you gonna edit this and i I was like, that's later's problem. He's like, they're not words. I was like, yeah, for later problem. But also, who's going to get up in the middle of the night?

You. Because I will still be awake editing these, sorry, this great episode. How dare you? You know what they say, you can't polish a turd. But the truth is you can. You can polish a Bachung Cut episode. And this is why I didn't give you another gin. Listen to how you are talking right now.

Episode three. You don't know me. Okay, episode three. Number three, Tash. We've not spoken about Tash. Obviously, she's been there since episode one. She brought dogs. Was she not an intruder?

No, we haven't. We've not mentioned her. We've not mentioned her. Episode one, she brought dogs to the park. She wanted to hook up with Felix. Jed rocked up and she was like, what the – but then was just in it to win it with Jed. Yeah, okay.

I don't see any kind of chemistry with Jed whatsoever. So unpacking Tash a little bit, I mean, I do see the chemistry now, But I feel like she jumped from being like, oh, Felix is my perfect type to now being like, Jed is my, they're very, very different people. They literally could have rolled out a fucking log and she'd be like, he's great. I love him. I can't wait for him to meet my parents. This is going to be fantastic.

And our chemistry is amazing. Literally anybody could have rocked up and she would have gone in hook, line and sinker. Okay. So Tash pulls Jed aside because she has some dirt on one of the other girls. One of the girls, her name's Jessica. She is Felix's favorite girl is kind of how she's been framed at this point in time. Anyway.

Looks like Holly. Looks like Holly? You think she looks like Holly from Jimmy's season? Jimmy, 100%. Jimmy and Holly. I'm surprised no one's talking about this. She doesn't look like Holly at all. She just has blonde hair.

She looks like Holly. Put a post on Life Uncut and say, is this not Holly? And people will be like, oh, my God, I'm mind blown. No, she looks nothing like Holly. She just has blonde hair. but the thing that's so interesting about this point in this conversation is that Jessica has been framed as being this like sweet wholesome wholesome wife material just like the perfect girl that Felix will eventually pick at the end once he finishes making out with every single

other person that's kind of like where we're getting to however Tash has some dirty secrets that she has to uncover and tell everyone to really throw Jessica under the bus basically she's found out that tash has found out that jessica is in an open polyamorous relationship with somebody outside of the experiment damien is that his name his name is damien hey damien if you're listening right now hi there from townsville oh that's as much as i know my dad lives in townsville maybe terry burn can go say hello to damien and jessica probably not that That, that, Laura Byrne. Was unhelpful.

Was a terrible joke. I'm just going to pull you up right now and say. I mean. I'm not even going to fake laugh for that one. How often do you fake laugh? Never. Okay. So Tash pulls Jed aside to tell Jed that Jessica.

You reckon anyone knows who the fuck any of these people are? No. We're like, because Damien said to Tash that Jess wasn't there, which is why Jed was angry at Felix. And Terry Byrne is going to go and meet up with Damien. Okay. Let's try and get on track. Let's try and make sense of this.

Yeah, I'm with you. I'm with you. So Tash says to Jed that Jessica is going to... Yeah. Yeah. Go on. that jessica is in a polyamorous relationship with who with a guy named damien and then they go and they tell felix and so the big problem is is that just hang on a second it

doesn't make any sense because tash is not even trying to get with felix she's with jed but she likes the drama and she so she comes at it with the opinion of like well i would want to know if someone I was dating was in a polyamorous relationship. Of course, of course you would want to know if someone you're dating is in a polyamorous relationship. However, let's get really clear. Jess has not made out with Felix. Jess has literally- Well, hang on a second. That we know of. I bet you he's tried. She hasn't. We haven't seen it. They've spoken for 20 minutes on a speed dating. She hasn't had the opportunity all the time to actually tell her about her sexuality,

about her relationship preferences she hasn't been given that opportunity to share something that is very intimate about herself but not only is it very intimate about herself it's something that the wider public deem as being shameful and that's the thing Tash has seen it as being a shameful thing Tash sees it as being a very negative thing and so she has decided to take matters into her own hands and tell Jed who she knows is gonna tell Felix however interestingly though even though tash has told everyone about jess's secret she still thinks oh you know what maybe jess should be the one to tell it herself but she wants to tell you she wants to have that chat with you so i don't want to take that away from her poor old felix he doesn't take the news

well at all does he he's at he's rattled considering that felix is currently in a polyamorous relationship and is making out with everybody else i feel like he should be okay with it what's good for the goose should be good for the gander felix isn't it rich that he's there being like how dare you i mean i think and we do we see it later on as well because tash is kind of using people's quote-unquote weaknesses against them as a way of like pitting these people like pipping them out of the competition getting rid of them but again it doesn't make any sense because jess isn't competition for her because she's with jed and and jess is with felix so what is she fucking doing maybe she's using it as a way of getting closer to felix she's like well i have

this information and i felt like i needed to tell you because i only want what's best for you and your friend well yeah i guess it works because she then gets a single date she gets a single date she becomes vulnerable she's upset that everyone's against her and she gets a single day and also hang on a second i guess the relationship between jed and felix would progress a lot quicker given that you know then becomes apparent that jed is like hey dude i'm looking out for you any information that I get I'm coming straight to you for it yeah and I mean the reason why I say that I feel like it's a bit manipulative is because hang on it's very manipulative well the reason I say that is because of something that happens a little bit further on

in this episode as well which if you watched it you would know but if you didn't oh the suspense is coming so now we progress into the single dates and every like each one of the bachelors gets to choose someone Felix was supposed to choose Jessica that's who he wanted to have a single date with but because of the whole polyamory conversation he's decided that he's too rattled he doesn't want to have a single date with her i did think it was weird that he did that like surely he could have just picked somebody else right he's got he's got nine or eight other women to choose from the other two so jed goes on a date with tash yeah i got nothing from that date also from that so thomas also chose to go on a date with leah now we haven't spoken about leah yet and she is just

the most sweet divine like wonderful little thing who she's never been in a she's never been in love i've been in love but she she said something that i thought was so beautiful she has this fear about being left on the shelf and that maybe love is gonna like miss her or at least she's gonna be left out of it and she seems to be really throwing herself into this whole experiment can i say one thing yes my only bit of doubt i do agree everything she's saying is quite beautiful and, you know, I think a lot of people can relate, myself included. But then at the same time, she has been on The Proposal, the Channel 7 show where you literally meet someone

and then by the end you get proposed to. She was on that one. So you think maybe she's a bit of a little reality TV... OK, I do, I do. I think she's saying... Addict, one might say. I don't want to sound like I'm being sceptical here, but everything she is saying is so perfect.

it's coming from someone who's been down this path before on reality tv or watched a lot of bachelor and knows exactly the thing to say absolutely i mean i think she is like beautifully lovable the only thing i was wondering and you were like can go either way do you think she's getting the clinger edit well you're 100 she definitely is getting the clinger edit but it's it's being done in a way which makes her seem so vulnerable and relatable and i think people are really warming to her which is nice to see yeah i think the same thing i was like you know because she so we haven't spoken about leah yet but she actually seems to be quite a important player in a piece in the puzzle so far because she's one of thomas's favorite girls

because they literally had a speed date again 20 minutes and off the back of that she was like holy crap this guy is amazing i've never had a date that's been as amazing as this but then at same time thomas was also in tears on the back of their their speed date and she has also cried multiple times i mean we're talking it's like day it's probably day five in all the filming like it's day three it's the third episode probably day five of filming and both of them have cried multiple times when they've been each other's company so that's pretty reassuring that things are going well can we talk about their date that's the fact the fact that it was just just a swing just a swing hanging there from the branch of a tree i mean gone are the days of single dates

being helicopters and super yachts and you know ferraris it's it's a swing it's a swing budget cuts that was it no no cheese board not even a cheese board not even if i think that lee is going to be there until the end i think she's going to be maybe not the final but i think she's going to be a very strong player and then it was time for a group date but hey look let's be honest nothing really happened on this group date i mean they went to dreamland and jed dreamland or it's a dream world oh dreamland closed down because people passed away oh my god that was awful there's a terrible terrible accident stop laughing dream world dream world great place to visit if you're on the gold coast highly recommend it family pass 54.95 you're mad not to do it after

the group date it was back to another house party where some people went home but the thing about this house party which was also you mean rose ceremony well wasn't there a house party or was it just rose ceremony i don't reckon it was a house party just went straight into to be honest all the episodes are kind of blurring into one right now it's so much bachelor it's so much content to get through so i don't know who i am i don't even know who's gone home is there anyone still listening to this episode probably not put your hand up if you are send us a message if you want to this point in the episode just send us a message and say it was me i got there because we need some kind of encouragement to come back for week two because trust me watching all these

episodes back to back is hard work and it's now very late in the night anyway okay so we go into a rose ceremony but the thing about this rose ceremony once again the format thrown out the window when you're in a rose ceremony traditionally you are not allowed to speak so you can't breathe can't breathe you have to hold your breath everyone faints as soon as you walk in there like okay that's it big breath that's it no okay but genuinely i'm not thanks for clarifying you are allowed to breathe in the rose ceremony room but you can't speak so we would walk into that rose ceremony room and rifka who was like our producer she was like the she's the boss person at the time she was like she'd have a cane and she'd whip you she was like don't don't speak to

each other don't even look at each other look at the front look pensive look sad so we all had to stand there and look sad even if we weren't sad even if we were just a bit drunk and all had the giggles we had to stop and do it again and again and again are you telling me that all those times you had you know quite a somber look on your face as you were staring into my eyes the amount of times they made us re-record the fucking rose ceremony don't tell me that because we were all a bit drunk and giggling and they needed us to look sad i don't want to hear it over and over okay so normally you can't speak in a rose ceremony you've got to be really somber and pensive because it's very sad someone's going home however the girls kick off and have like

a little fisticuffs uh jasmine gets upset that tash has uncovered jessica's secret and told Felix and told Jed, but then things really escalate. I thought just for a second, I thought it was very, very rude that in the, in a group setting, like Osh was kind of saying like, Hey, you know, you had a single date. Good on you. And Tash is like, yeah, you know, I'm someone who I think has the attributes of what it takes to be in a relationship with Jed. Osh says, what do you think it is? And she's like, I'm honest. Unlike Jess over here, who's got a boyfriend and just tries to call her out in front of everybody but the thing that i so so the thing i mentioned earlier where i was like i think that tasha's behavior was like weaponized manipulation uh

is because so she added jessica and the fact that she's in a polyamorous relationship but then in the same episode she also added the fact that jasmine who is the girl that she was having a bit of a fight with at the rose ceremony she added that jasmine had an only fans account now we saw this play out on maths we're gonna see it play it out again on bachelor nothing good comes from shaming someone who has an only fans account nothing good comes from making someone feel shameful for living their life in the way that they choose to live their life and the other thing about this that i think is like really quite important is that because tash thinks that this is something that jasmine should feel embarrassed by she's using it as a weapon to try and make

other people not like her and by other people i mean jed she's like well if jed finds out that jasmine has an only fans account he won't like her and that to me is a reflection of tash it's absolutely not a reflection of jasmine the girl who has the only fans account it was disgusting behavior can i just say loved love love love of love crystal the voice of reason yeah the girl from essex she was there like absolutely not this is shit i'm gonna call it out i'm gonna defend it obviously it gets a little bit messy when people are kind of because in the rose ceremony rooms there's like the three clusters of girls so they're kind of like at each other from across the room but also are we not at a time like i mean it's 2023 is it 2023 who fucking knows

it's 2023 we have seen this storyline play out on many reality tv shows now like how can somebody like tash not have watched last season of maths and know that nothing good is going to come out of it for her by by trying to shame someone for having an only fans account like why is this still something that is like yeah well you know you're less than me because you do this and i think that that's a really massive problem and this is going to come back and absolutely bite tash in the ass i feel sorry for her i really think that she's tash yeah i do because i think deep down i think she probably has a lot of insecurities and you know i think the wrath that she's going to feel right now from the viewers of this show i'm like oh i you know i just hope that she's strong enough

to to come out the other end and also be aware of what her actions were like and and how disrespectful they were and how she needs to have a lot more empathy i think that's a really important way that we can kind of head towards wrapping this episode is that all the things that we talk about all the things that we unpack on this are purely based on the stuff that we've seen on the show or that we've experienced ourselves because we've done the show um but obviously we all need to be super aware that editing plays a huge part in this that they're these people who are on these shows are humans they're not characters everybody makes mistakes they say things that they shouldn't say in these environments am i saying that that gives someone

the grace of just being able to be a terrible human absolutely not but there's so many more layers to it and i think that most people are aware of that now because of we all understand the nature of how reality tv works but at the same time i think like be gentle don't go and fucking bully people online be conscious about the things that you're saying whether it's you're commenting on a post or you're adding to the conversation is what you're adding just being nasty or is it adding to the actual like unpacking of what's happening on the show that's a big question i think we wanted to ask ourselves laura burn that was very well said from someone who's had 12 gins goodness me how you're still being articulate i'll never know put it on my tombstone

but i feel like that is you've got your hand i was gonna say we're wrapping the episode i i am can i just say just really really quickly um shout out to abby emma and i can't remember if it was palin callan or fallon she went home oh we had three more people who left who nobody knew who they were but we never knew you um i did enjoy it just for the record i know i know that it was different people are saying it's a hot mess one key reason why i did really enjoy the first three episodes is that every season that i've watched previously after our season i've always been able to guess it i've always been able to guess who was going to end up with the bachelor or bachelor i have no fucking idea no idea zero and that's great that's exactly what i wanted i i think that

overall i'm still coming to terms with the new format but i'm into it i like it as a man who doesn't like change i'm i episode three episode two i wasn't sure episode three i'm into it also when they were teasing what happens in episode four and five there's a lot of drama i'm into it i like it i watched episode one and i was like this is a shit show i cannot believe we have to watch so many episodes now that we've committed to doing batch on cart i watched episode two and I was like hmm there's a lot happening here I have feelings this is conjuring up some stuff and then I watched episode three and I was like I think I enjoy this and I feel weird about it and conflicted but I'm I am fucking I am strapped in it's a bit like anal sex

right hey the third time is always a charm anyway guys that is it from us it has been a long time between drinks i say that because it's been a long time since we've had a life uncut episode come into your libraries maddie j i love making these episodes with you and i love them too laura burn thank you the end good luck editing this i'll see you in bed okay anyway you know the drill guys tell your mom tell your dad tell your friends and your dog and oh fuck i always forget it britt always says it and share the love because we laugh love bye We'll be right back.