Life Uncut - BACHETTE UNCUT - We riot for Konrad

Episode Date: November 18, 2021

Strap yourselves in because this week is an old-school bachette marathon session - that’s right, three episodes in one week ! Holly gets the first single date and she’s making bracelets with Brooke - it’s sweet and lovely and the bracelets are totally gorg. Would you believe me if I said there was no dancing on this date? Sad but true. For the group date - Osher meets the remaining contestants in the park with a bunch of random kids and some toys from Kmart. I know they’ve had budget cuts but CMON!!! Now it’s the final cocktail party and is competing for the last remaining singe date. Holly gives Brooke a lock of hair, Jamie-Lee writes her another love letter, Darvid gives her an old receipt he found in his wallet and Konrad buys her a new pony. Then, who does she pick…? That’s right - the Persian Prince. We then say goodbye to Luca and Will - INTRUDERS NEVER WIN! The next episode kicks off with a group date and we’re being treated with some life drawing, however the key is capturing what Brooke represents (we’re getting deep). The concept sounds lovely but it’s really just 15 min of people drawing in silence - fun times! Konrad absolutely crushes it, and his picture is so beautiful it makes Brooke burst into tears. The only problem is - he tells her that working 9-5 is for losers and he wants to become Australia’s biggest influencer. It’s time for Darvid’s single date with Brooke and they’re making wine with their feet because Brooke has a mean foot fetish that needs quenching. Brooke then makes everyone go to the cocktail party barefoot because Darvid’s feet weren't enough - Millie was sent home because she had tinea and Kurt left because he had an ingrown nail. HOMETOWNS BABY! Without question, the highlight of this episode was Konrad’s dad. In fact, he was the highlight of the entire season. Imagine an older, quirkier, and more sensitive version of Konrad. Absolute heaven! Jamie Lee is up next and she has a shocker and gives Brooke a high-five instead of telling her she’s falling in love. Darvid made Brooke meet his mum who said she’d physically hurt anyone who made her son move away from Brisbane. Holly’s wasn’t much better and her mum told Brooke that her daughter hates kids and WA. Brooke’s so confused by all of this that she sends home the one shining light from this season…. WE MISS YOU ALREADY KONRAD !See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm just gonna start. No, you can't start. I'm gonna start. This is not your podcast. I'm doing it. Hello and Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura and I'm joined by my favourite man, the one who I've chosen to spend my life with, although we're not, we haven't, no, we've consummated it, we're just not married. I'm going to ask you a really stupid question, what's consummate, consummate me? I think it's the sex after the marriage. Got you, got you. We did the consummating and not the marriaging.

We've consummated, not enough recently, but we have done a fair share of times. Anyway, I'm Laura Byrne and this is Maddie J. My name is Matty J and it's great to be here. Laura, question for you. Yes. How do you feel about doing poos in front of your partner? Oh, I mean, I think you know the answer to that since we live together and have done poos by accident in front of each other.

I would prefer not. Like for me, I go to the toilet, I close the door, you quite happily come open the door to have a chat. Yeah, it's a bit like having olives on a pizza. Like I'd prefer it if they weren't there, but if they are there, then I'll eat them. Do you know what I mean? Why are you talking about eating something?

No, I don't know what you mean, actually, Matthew. Please go on and explain because I'm sure there's other people listening who are equally as confused. I feel like when we first got together, one thing that we tried to not do was go to the toilet in front of one another. We also tried to not fart in front of each other. That quickly went out the window. Yeah, it really did.

But I feel like as time has progressed, that rule, the boundary that we set about not pooing in front of one another, it's slowly become quite blurred. This is 100% turning into a Daily Mail article. And do you know what? Just so you guys understand what just happened before we press record, I said to Matt, oh, babe, what do you want to talk about before we get into unpacking the episodes? And Matt goes, I've got something. I've got something. And I said, how about you just let me know what that is before we start recording? Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

And he goes, no, no, no. I'll just ask you on the podcast. And that's the question. And I take it from the tone of your voice, you are thrilled by the topic. Have I done good? Are you happy? Yeah, it was great. Thank you for opening that up. What was the actual point of the question? And where did you want to go with the question? No, I just think it's funny that we haven't really sit down with one another and spoken about the fact that we are now progressing. We are now flirting, stepping over that line of pooing in front of one another.

We absolutely are not. You opening the door is, the only person stepping over the line is you. If I close the door to go to the toilet and you come in, open it to have a chat, it's all on you. Well, okay. How about the fact that I would say it's about 50% of the time right now that you will go to the toilet and be like, hey Matt, there's no toilet paper. So then I open the door and I throw it to you. And I'm also like, well, whilst I'm here standing in the doorway, I may as well have a quick chat with you. And then you're like, close the door, I've just done a big shit. That's absolutely not what it is.

Can we just get into the recap? Get out of here. It stinks. Oh, it's coming out right now. Close the door. Stop looking at me. And the next thing, the kids are in there, Buster's in there. Get out of the fucking bathroom.

This is where we're at right now You wonder why we don't have sex anymore Let's get into the episode Alright, so this week, The Bachelor did us dirty again I thought that we had seen the arse end of double dumping episodes Back there with the kinky captain Arse end double dumping I love where you're going with this, this is great

You guys remember that week where the kinky captain just busted out two back to back episodes and Matt and I were delirious on absolutely no sleep trying to record. Well, it's happened again and, look, I'm not happy about it. I'm not happy about it at all. What happened last week, it was the soccer match. The soccer match has completely thrown the schedule out the window and we're now feeling the brunt of it. Well, I kind of thought maybe, maybe because the ratings aren't great,

they were trying to speed through a few more episodes, but you just think that they're trying to catch back up. Yeah, I reckon it's all to do with the soccer, I think. But, yeah, it's a shame, but I think we must have, what, two weeks to go. So we are now very much on the home straight. Before we know it, it'll be over, and we'll be wondering who's going to be the Bachelor for next year. Wait, is it two weeks to go or one week to go?

No, it's like this week and next week. That's pretty much it, right? There's like four people going into hometowns, so then it'll be three, then two. Yeah, next week is the final week. But there was a lot that happened on these episodes, and that's because there were three of them. We are unpacking episode eight, nine, and ten.

Jesus Christ. Down chicken, wow, wow. Do you want to start with number eight? Episode number eight. So this date starts off with Holly. And if you cast our minds back to the last episode that we watched, she had the extra time after Mardi Gras. So I was like, well, this is going to go really well.

You know, she's like got her confidence back. She's got pizzazz. And as soon as they get together, instantly you're like, oh, my gosh, these guys have the most amazing chemistry. The conversation is just so free flowing. Well, I thought we could weave them together. I would love that. Yeah.

Both of our stories. Yeah. Yeah. Coming together. Yeah. Aw. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they have a lot to talk about. Yeah. I mean, come on. Come on.

Yeah. Do you reckon they're doing that on purpose? Do you remember back, though, on their very first single date how they were nervous and they used the word nervous over and over? Like, I'm so nervous. Are you nervous? i'm nervous maybe we need to put a grab in here of all the nervous times you the editor do you reckon that they are stitching them up here like surely surely right now i reckon that they i think

that they have this obviously nervous energy you know how sometimes when you meet someone you've got great chemistry and like you obviously click even sometimes when i watch or when i have watched our dates back i said like 452 times remember punky made like a real made like a real punky made a reel of our date and me just repetitively saying like you do say like an awful lot did you notice i said like that many times i was i was thinking to myself if this girl can't stop saying that word so many times and she's gonna go number two like i was really hard that should have been the jeopardy with you as cuts to you going like he's just like a really like nice guy it's my filler word i can't help it like is my filler word every time i hear myself say it back

going to record i'm like oh there it is again and try dating you oh god i'm sorry about that anyway so this date is lovely this date is really nice they're so lovely okay they have a really nice date it's very sentimental there's an indigenous woman who is there she lives off country and she is teaching brooke and holly how to weave fibers so they've got natural fibers from brooke's country they've got natural fibers from holly's country and they're going to weave them And together, their stories intertwining when two become one. I mean, production. I need some love like I never did in my life.

Here we go. All right. You let me know when you're finished. Gonna make love to you. Maybe I'll seduce you with that later on. That will never, ever, ever seduce me at all. Well, you can't say I didn't try. Goodness me.

But, okay, date concept, fantastic. Great. on paper it's just brilliant there's so much depth to this as you mentioned very sentimental the issue is in execution it not like nothing really happens i mean hey let's be fair the bracelets they make for each other they're quite nice can i just say there are very few things like watching someone try and paint a picture for example it's a boring thing to do it's a boring activity to watch watching someone make a basket is a particularly boring activity to watch yeah Yeah, but I think it comes down to the people.

I think it doesn't matter what the activity is. If the two people have great chemistry, they'll make it work and it'll be entertaining. I just don't think that Holly and Brooke, whilst they're really bloody lovely together, they just don't have this incredible chemistry. Well, maybe they have it. Maybe they have chemistry, but the chemistry is just not entertaining chemistry to watch. Like it is very pleasant. It is very lovely, but there's no banter.

There's no humour. And I don't want to watch pleasant people be pleasant on TV. okay so the person i feel really sorry for is the indigenous woman who's teaching them to make the baskets she's still sitting there half a meter away watching on being like um what do i do with my hands right now she's made like nine baskets just trying to occupy yourself while these two just tell each other how amazing they are well this is what always happens though right there's always some instructor or somebody like the love coach or the lie detector there's always someone just standing there but really close by watching on if they don't leave they're there for the whole

activity and it's bloody weird see when we had that on my season it's because i requested it what was who was on our season oh oh the fortune teller that was it that was a joke you missed it what you wanted someone staying in the room watching us yeah no i didn't find that funny um i get it now but um because i made them watch and laura's like oh yeah who did we have oh yeah they matt why is the gardener in the bedroom kiss me we have that one poison ivy vine that he's there to tend anyway look like we said they're incredibly pleasant they're very complimentary to each other i do have one complaint what is it no dancing oh holly no dancing do you Do you reckon she did dance and it was edited out?

They are so pleasant. They are so complimentary to each other. I just want to leave you with this one little grab, which just, if Holly's not there at the finish line, if she's not number two, I will eat my own shit. Wow. I feel really smitten, if I'm honest. I am Brooke's lady in red.

No one else's. I'll just kiss you all day. I think you're so beautiful. it's like it's like getting you like next level it's crazy you're like a little angel all right we've got three episodes to get through tonight so let's get into the group date now this is a bloody weird group date why are there three kids there yeah it's weird i think there were more than three kids no there were three kids in osha i swear there were more than just three okay well i only saw three everybody got paired up with a kid didn't they no were you watching the show

No, I glanced over and all of a sudden. Dad was on his phone for like this whole section. I thought you were taking notes. There was three kids. They're in teams. Right. Got you. Got you.

Okay. And was there any kind of background as to why there were kids there? Because we had a group date. We went to a daycare, I think it was. And the reason we had the kids there is because I wanted to be a dad. So I was testing out you girls to see what you were like with kids, to see who was, you know, motherly enough to raise my children. So misogynistic.

oh i was like breastfeed the children all right we'll see who i can impregnate i will never forget that group date because basically what happened was is it was a kid's like daycare center all of us girls had to go there was like seven of us girls who were there you were quite rude to your kid i remember one point at one point laura was like yanking on her arm and the kid was crying and i was like oh god laura come on turn this around for starters my kid was a boy and his name was alex and no so i remember our dates so well don't i each kid had to choose which girl they wanted and unfortunately two of the children chose leah which meant that no child chose me i was just the one standing there at the end the reason why i wasn't chosen by a child thank you

matthew johnson is because i didn't force any of them into liking me whereas the other girls did okay you keep telling yourself that laura i'm a good mother you are a very good mother although Although I was concerned back in the day. Okay, today's challenge is they're going to do different kinds of races and activities with the kids to see who's not necessarily the fastest or the best, but who's having the most fun. Where did the three children come from, though? That's what I want to know.

Are they productions kids? I swear there were five kids, Laura. There's three. Okay, if I'm wrong about this, I'll also eat my own shit. No, but I'm sure there was three. Three teams. Yeah, they kind of just shoehorned in the kids into this. Yeah, it didn't really, like there's always some kind of tenuous link to the activity,

like the concept of a group date and like tying it back to something that's meaningful towards Brooke. I mean, it's usually tied back to a sponsor and then it's tied back to Brooke. So I'm just wondering whether a daycare or someone is bringing you this episode. Because Mitsubishi cars are super family friendly, hence, hence the kids. I felt really sorry for Luca because he'd been given a bit of a dud child. He'd just got the youngest kid who was a bit slow. Very slow.

You'd be filthy if you were Luca, wouldn't you? The other two teams are going so fast, but Jacob's just going at his own pace. Slow and steady. Yes, Jacob, you are smashing it. Came back, had the biggest smile on his face. He got over the line and, you know, that's all that counts. Oh, God, I feel sorry for Luca. Poor guy.

He's been given the slowest kid out of all three or five. Let's not get into details about how many kids there were. I'm sure he just wants to get that spoon and give that child a little tap. A little whip like he's a little horse. That was good. Things got weird. I don't think you can smack somebody else's kid. I don't even think you can smack your own kid anymore.

No, I'm quite positive you can't. You can't. I'm glad we had that conversation right now. Anyway, do you know who would also like to get amongst the smacking? Who's that? This just got so weird Millie Millie is taking this game

Way too seriously I mean I don't blame her though For anyone who didn't watch the episode There's one game Where everybody has A ring in front of them And they have a number of balls

You then have to run And chase Get the balls From somebody else's ring And put it in your own ring And then Millie is there Like fly kicking children

There's like a little boy Who's just trying to get One of the balls And the other people are like Millie just let him have a ball the kid's crying in the corner because no one will play with him kid's like can i please have a ball and he's like get out of here kid the whole purpose of this group date is supposed to be not about winning so brooke says it's

supposed to be about finding the joy in the game and the competition sure winning is fun as long as it doesn't overshadow the spirit of the day okay but not if you're Millie if you're Millie you can be as competitive as you want Millie let him get one Millie Millie Millie Millie honestly I don't mind Millie's competitive streak I feel like the editors should have just done a little sweep over this like there was a bit of an inconsistency happening here in regards to like how the date was supposed to play out Like, it was supposed to be about the spirit of the game. But then Brooke was saying, but it's okay if Millie's competitive.

And then Kurt got the extra time because he was really good with the kids. The whole thing just didn't have very good structure, is what I'm going to say. It was messy. And I want to put blame on Osher as well, who was mediating this game. He should have stepped in. I mean, well, to be fair, he was trying to give people, like, 10-second penalties, which didn't really have any effect at all. Well, he was the referee, but he's also just Osher.

But I want to ask, how much do you think this date would have cost? Oh, like $5,000? $5,000 for what? It was two hula hoops and ten balls and an egg and spoon race. You put me on the spot. They had to hire the field, didn't they? So that's going to be a couple of grand. Okay, maybe $300.

If that, $200 from Kmart. Well, it's a good thing that no one's watching, isn't it? Why do you ask? Because, like, I mean, what happened? What happened to the budgets? What happened to, like, the grandiose dates? Where are they, Bachelor? We missed them.

Where's my helicopter? Yeah, there was. Where's my boat? It was lacking, definitely. Do people really want that? Do they want to watch that? Yeah, they do want to watch that, don't they? I'm pretty sure that's exactly what people want to watch.

Otherwise, you can just go down to the soccer field and watch a couple of people kick a ball around. I guess what they are still doing, though, which is nice, is that after, you know, the group date, they do have that extended session. So this time it was Kurt. So he gets to have like a little sit down. They have a beautiful set up, you know, cushions, a seat. They're wearing crystal glasses and some wine. It's exactly what they always do after every date on The Bachelor.

That's impressive, was it not? Not really, no. It's just like cute intimacy time. But Kirk got the extra time after the group date. Tim 2.0. Who would have thought that Tim 2.0 would have been good with kids? He's actually like a little closet sweetheart. I love Tim 2.0.

He's better than the Tim 1.0. You are completely agreeing. Sorry, Tim, if you're listening. You're definitely not listening. He does get quite nervous, though, don't you think, when he gets alone time with Brooke? Bless his cotton socks. For somebody who is quite quiet and reserved when it's in the group date setting, he definitely doesn't hold back when he is on one-on-one time.

Brooke just wanted to, she wanted to scratch the surface a little bit more, because realistically, Tim 2.0 and Brooke have not spent very much time together. They've probably had the least amount of time out of everyone so far. Has he had a single date? I think he's only had a group extension. Oh, he's gone. See you, mate. Dead man walking.

What's your thoughts on marriage? I do want to get married. I want my partner to know that I'm in it for her and I'm in it because, you know, I want to be there for everything that goes right. I want to be there for everything that goes wrong and I want her to know that I'm truly in love with her and I know you don't need probably marriage to do that,

but, you know, things like your vows, I think are, like, are pretty special. Yeah. Do you think at this point, Brooke is just sitting there like, fucking, please stop speaking? No, no. Stop. In that position, it's great because you're really exhausted.

You've had a really long, hard day. So to sit down with somebody who can just talk and talk and talk and talk, ah, it's great. But it's like, she's like, what are your thoughts on marriage? Expecting like, oh, yeah, I'd love to get married one day and settle down and have some kids. And then Tim 2.0 dives into a five-minute monologue that production had to cut because they were like,

we don't have enough time. We've got one hour for this episode. No, that's the dream because you know those sit-downs are only like 10 or 15 minutes, maybe 20 minutes at the most. So if Tim 2.0 just eats up all that time answering two questions, it's game over. Then you get to go home and go to bed. But he seems like genuinely so into Brooke at this point in time. Like he seems like he's really invested.

But they've had no time. Yeah. You don't reckon he is? No, I'm not feeling it. You're not feeling it. I'm not feeling it at all. Sorry, Tim 2.0. So, hey, this cocktail party, very stressful situation, Laura.

Everyone's quite high strung. Well, we're careening or careening. Which one is it? Careering? Careering or careening? Careering. Are they not interchangeable? I don't know.

I don't know. Cool. All right, let's Google that after this. They are heading straight for hometowns. So, everyone's bringing out the big guns and big stops. Oh, yeah. Okay, let's roll with it. Everybody was pulling out all the stops to try and impress Brooke to get the final single date.

Who do you think was the most impressive? Let's just remind everybody that Luca. I really enjoy this because Matt rechecked back into the episode at this point and started taking notes. So he knows exactly what happened. This is the only part of the episode I paid close attention to. All right, so Laura, let's go through everybody. Luca had a model jet plane and also some pics. What was the jet plane supposed to represent?

Because their date was on a jet plane. Yeah. And you have a go at me for not paying attention. Jesus. It was so long in the past. I mean, Luke, we all know Luke is going home. And what was the jet plane meaning? Because that's what they flew on on their first date.

Okay. So Millie had sangria because she has Spanish, you know, family heritage. I'm surprised she didn't bring the Paramount logo on a key ring. Yeah. I like that one. And Jamie Lee writes a letter. Oh, Jamie Lee, give up. Just give up.

Just pouring her heart and soul into every little interaction that she has with Brooke. She really is, isn't she? Like every single time she gets to spend five minutes with Brooke, she's just like, please love me. The poor thing. But like she's done a letter. The opening night was a letter.

She's made a photo album. She's written another letter. Like, I just feel like if Brooke doesn't know how Jamie Lee feels yet, there is no ambiguity around how Jamie Lee feels. Brooke is well and truly aware. But, you know, when you get – I mean, like, I'm sure everybody's experienced this, but where you kind of like someone. Like, you think, like, oh, exploring, like, how this is going to be.

But then they come on so strong and so hard that you're like, wow, that's a bit too much. That's what I feel like has happened to you. Do you think Jamie Lee is the stage five then? Oh. Do you think she's getting the stage five edit a little bit? Yeah, but she's like a low-key stage five. Just like a chill stage five.

Stage four. Yeah, stage three and a half, let's be fair. Whenever I watch Jamie Lee, I do really think, like, I'm rooting for her. I am, but I also continuously ask the question of, like, why didn't you just send her a text message in the outside world? Like, you know how The Bachelor series works. Why did you wait until she was on the show to apply through producers to get on a show again to then tell your friend that you love your friend.

Couldn't you have just done that? Yeah, look, I completely agree. By text? Hey, let's talk about Will, the guy with the moustache. A lot of people probably don't know who Will is. Will is very ripped. Ripped Will, but he gave a ring. Will was the intruder.

He's extremely ripped, has very little body fat, if that rings any bells. I think, oh, there we go. Very irrelevant. I mean, he's got a moustache, you've got a moustache. I think he's said a total of about eight words so far across the season. It's not surprising that he goes home tonight. Conrad. Conrad also gives Jory.

Also not surprising. Conrad has great painted nails tonight, though. Boy-girl colours. They have a cute little conversation about how many kids they want. Love that. What they're going to call them, all that sort of stuff. I like Conrad. I mean, he's my favourite now.

And David, he organises the delivery of some flowers, but he doesn't give them himself. who gets, like, one of the waitstaff to deliver it anonymously. I feel like it makes it very easy when everybody else has already done some sort of, like, thing. Every other person's gotten up and done some gesture and then David's the only one who hasn't, but then an anonymous bunch of flowers rocks up.

It also seems that David has completely forgotten the point of the bachelor. He's forgotten how this whole thing works. I just wanted to get you something. I feel like you've been giving us everything. You've been taking him on dates, you've been giving roses, Okay, do you know what my gripe is, Laura, with the flowers and David? What?

It's the fact that he wouldn't have had to do anything, anything at all to organise the delivery of these flowers. Like all he would have had to have done is go to production and say, I want a big bouquet of flowers. Production would have said we have $200 to spend. He would have said, great. Make them a white bunch with a bit of green in it. That is it.

There is nothing romantic about that at all. Do you know, it's so funny that you say this. And so for anybody like, so that, you know, kind of how these things work, anything that you want brought into a cocktail party or any sort of like activity that you want to do with the bachelor or the bachelorette, you have to organize it through production because you don't have the, you don't have access to the internet. It's not like Darva was just getting up on like flowers now, same day delivery. Like he couldn't, he couldn't order them.

So I think what's happened at this cocktail party is that the contestants have been told that they have to organize an activity that every single one of them had to show up with something ready to go that was like the purpose of the cocktail party and so when you think about it out of all of them david kind of did the least like having a bunch of flowers rock up that's been put together by an external company that's been ordered by production on your behalf it's the least amount of effort out of everybody else like jamie lee wrote a letter that takes time that's heartfelt that's hot and getting like a necklace with a rose on it or whatever it was that conrad gave like all of the other things had a little bit more sentimentality to it and then here's

darvin he's like oh yeah we had a fight got you some flowers he didn't even write a card with his name on it it was just like anonymous yeah from a secret admirer anyway darvin got the rose he got the next single date it's coming up can you tell we're a bit bitter about it doesn't make any sense i'm like a i'm a conrad convert that's why i know i know whenever conrad doesn't get extra time or a date. I'm there like flipping the coffee table. I'm throwing glasses against the wall. I'm annoyed. I also just think like Conrad's a little bit of a sulker. Like if he doesn't get a date with Brooke or someone else gets chosen, he like, he just like low-key sulks, but it's kind of cute. He's like a sad little puppy that you just want to cuddle. Let's talk about the fact that

Luca went home, which I thought was quite surprising. I didn't. I wasn't vibing them together. I kind of thought Will and Luca going home. I'm not surprised. Okay, well, the reason why I find it surprising, we didn't buy it, but at the same time, when they had their single date, Brooke was like, oh my God, I see such a future with him. He's so incredible. I can't wait to see where this goes. And then a week later, he's gone.

No, we know that intruders never win. We said that. We said that. They never do. And Ripped Will also went home. Absolutely no surprise to anyone after seven words. Let's get into episode number nine. Okay, episode number nine.

Now, episode number nine, oh, the cheeky little devils. Try and throw a spanner in the works with us here. And by that, they're shaking things up and mixing it down because we don't have a single date to start. We're starting with a group date. I love the fact that this is a point that you really focused on. Everything else has been so boring, so the change was really refreshing for me. It didn't mean anything to me.

And you grab me and you're like, oh, my gosh. And I was thinking, what is it, Laura? You go, they started this episode on a group date. It's like they're really trying to do something for the ratings here. Quick, what can we do? Flip the dates around. Well, they've gotten rid of the date cards, so instead of the date cards, we'll just mix the dates up.

Anyway, this group date, we're doing a live drawing class because if basket making wasn't boring enough, watching some people draw someone certainly is. So Brooke is going to be the life model. She is the one who's going to be nude sitting there whilst everybody sits around her and paints. But they're going deep like they do on every episode at the moment. They're getting really conceptual.

Because they're not painting Brooke literally. They're painting what she represents inside and out. It's a metaphor for who Brooke is. Getting deep. So, okay, the one thing about this is that Brooke is very nervous about being naked in front of all of the contestants. Wasn't she just? So nervous.

There was a point where the makeup artist came out, gave her a little touch-up, patted her on the nose. She goes, Brookie, Brookie, you going to be okay? And then Brooke says, yeah, the nerves are really starting to show. So I at this point thought that she must be getting a little bit more bow-chicka-wow-wow. Yeah, I thought she was going to go full nude. Like full nude.

That's what live drawing is, full nude. Like Kieran Stott that time, do you remember? Yes. Someone bring back Kieran Thorpe. Never thought I'd say that. Fuck, Will, can someone give him the call up? Where's he when you need him? So she did it quite tastefully.

She wasn't nude. She was wrapped in a bed, like literally in like a king-sized doona. Yeah, she was quite covered up, wasn't she? Which is fine. Totally. But, I mean, like I think that it was very much hammed up. I would say that Brooke has worn less to cocktail parties than what she has worn at the live drawing club.

Yeah. I mean, a mini skirt is more revealing than that. Honestly, the only thing that you could see for anybody, if you haven't seen the episode and you're relying on us to recap, the only thing that you could see of Brooke was her shoulder, her décolletage, décolletage, décolletage, and you could see part of her back. So it was kind of like the draped sheet red thing, like satin. It was very, paint me like one of your French girls.

But it was extremely modest. Like, I don't think it was very revealing at all. Do you know that I once did live drawing? Did you really? Like, I was the live model in the live drawing class. I've always wanted to know, like, how long do you have to stand or sit there? Like, average time. Wait, how are you not more shocked?

How is your question like, ooh, how long did you have to sit there for? Like, did you know this? No, I didn't. Well, I knew that you did art at uni, so. You just assumed that artists get nude? Yeah, well, kind of. So what happened was he was like, I'm like upset that you didn't ask more questions.

No, I want to know how, you know, I'm getting there. Okay, how long? Wait, hang on a second. Oh, my God, Laura. That is crazy. Oh, my goodness. I had no idea. We've never spoken about this before.

They don't pay you much. I only got paid $150. It wasn't worth it. $150. And why did you want to do it? Because I used to do live drawing classes. like I that's that's guys this is going back a very long time ago I was an artist that's what I thought I wanted to be and I moved to Byron Bay and I was very poor yeah I was studying to do

live drawing that was my course I was doing and it's really hard to find people who will be live models and so we were always short of live models for our classes and all the other classes were always short of models so people who were doing the course would also live model for other other courses in the area oh great great yeah and uh and how long would you have to sit there or stand there would you sit or stand what's normal you can do i mean you do you change positions so it depends on if they're doing like a painting it can be a longer period so like how long well like usually no more than an hour an hour and a half oh that's fine yeah it's not like you're sitting there all day but i mean some do some go for way longer than that but ours were like an hour and a

half and they were usually like more quick drawings so you would change positions every like few minutes and they would do like a quick sketch so it's more like fluid movement drawings okay question i like that we've gotten into this this is going back like 15 years ago for me guys and i really like have suppressed these memories did did anybody at any point like stare too much and you're like i know that you finished your painting there buddy seriously masturbating next to the hazel yeah did that ever happen no no surprisingly it didn't okay no no one flashing themselves Well, that's nice. It's always a bit, I guess, in that situation,

if someone is flashing themselves, it would be disappointing, wouldn't it? It's so unsexual. Like, it's so unsexy. And, like, you're not doing erotic poses. Like, it's very demure. So it's not like you're there with your legs behind your head? If anything, you're just sitting there nude. No, I wasn't there with my legs behind my head.

Thank you. Thank you for that. You're just sitting there nude. You're just sitting. Nice. And, like, everything's closed. You're not like, paint me. All right, fuckers.

Let's get it done I wasn't in a porno, okay, Daily Mail Fuck Normally in that environment Laura, is it exciting? What's the mood like? It is, if you were going to be Someone sitting

Observing people live Draw, you would probably assume It is the most boring thing in the world Okay, okay, so Kind of sets the tone for this Fruit date, doesn't it? No one's talking, no one's laughing You know what's a really great piece of TV is when no one is talking and no one is laughing.

I mean, this is certainly not going to do anything for their ratings, is it? How did production think that this was going to be a good idea? Well, I mean, to be fair, it seems like this was all Brooke's idea. This was actually my idea. It came from a bit of a dream that I had. All right, so what she's trying to say is this one is my idea, unlike every other date that has been organised by production. Do you know what the one standout though for this date was?

Like nobody's talking and then Tim 2.0, Kurt, he just punctuates the silence with, hey, how do you make the colour grey? And then Holly's sitting there and she goes, it's black and white. Like, are you kidding me? It's kind of confusing me. You know, I need the basic 101 art painting lesson where it's like, you know, this is green, this is red, green and red make yellow. so not only is this a very revealing uh group date for brooke we see more of brooke than what

we ever had it's also a very revealing group date for kurt we finally realized that the guy's colorblind okay no surprise here though that conrad is an absolute standout well he has the unfair advantage it turns out that both of his parents are artists so he kind of you would expect something a little bit more conceptual and deep from him well i was expecting something a bit more professional from conrad like i don't want to shit on his painting but but it was pretty messy don't you think and like the turtle like what and there's a and the adoptive child was a star that was good okay no i loved the concept i'm like 10 out of 10 for conceptualization like this was great from Conrad. The meaning behind it had great purpose, but the execution, they really tried to drum it

up as though this was like an Archibald entry. Yeah. I was like, I was expecting something stunning, incredible, but I mean, Conrad, I still love the guy, but I just don't think his art was that impressive. Although Brooke, she was in tears. Brooke's always in tears. Brooke cries on every date. Don't you think it was weird that when everybody had to sit down revealed with their painting the rest of the group date watched on in a separate room it's I wonder if Brooke was aware like Brooke would have known right that everybody else was watching or would she have not known that everybody else was watching no I think she would have known I reckon she must have but it yeah it was I mean it would be weird to watch Conrad and Brooke interacting like that

and Brooke's literally in tears at the sight of Conrad's picture of her I do remember back on our season one of the group dates towards the end we had to we were at this like old mansion in the back of Dover Heights and the girls had to write I can't remember who was writing a letter or it was something it was something that was very vulnerable and we had to sit in a room and watch each other present that letter like I didn't have to do it because I was already out so yeah anyway but we had to watch everybody else do it I think what production were trying to get out of this was like a little bit of cattiness or a little bit of I can't believe they did that or said that but it's really intimidating watching someone who you're friends with talk about all the heart yeah

totally it's it's like it really shakes your your belief in what you have it make it shakes your belief in your connection that you have with the bachelor or bachelorette so I feel like when everybody was watching Brooke with David or Brooke with Holly and how Holly and her were holding hands and really caressing each other and then how she cried with Conrad it would have been very unnerving to people like tim 2.0 or jamie lee who don't seem to have as strong connections tim 2.0 comes in with his finger painting being like here you go here's my picture for you brooke's like thanks buddy see ya no okay it was actually it was actually pretty good wait did he what did he do no no i no no no he's a shit house i forgot i thought for a second his

was darvids which was like when you walk into a room it turns to full color that was darvin Not Tim 2.0. Unsurprisingly, though, Conrad gets the extra time. And now this extra time with Conrad. Oh, the wheels have fallen off the wagon. Mate, just when I thought he could do no wrong. Basically, Conrad and Brooke, their connection seems so unshakable and so strong right now. And Conrad is just this, he is this sensitive, emotional, strong man.

He's so, oh, he's so duplicious. There's so much going on with him. I love it. All right, settle down, Laura. However, I mean, I know that you're Conrad, you've taken with Abby Chatfield and I'm also taken with Mad Maddie J. You're a beautiful man. I think you're going to be fine when Brooke breaks your heart. There's going to be plenty of women waiting and lining up for you. The one question that really trips him up is when Brooke asks,

what's our future going to look like together? And I guess for Conrad, it's because he has just entered into this really transient time in his life. Like he explains that he's quit his job as a carpenter, which I think is alarming to Brooke because when he came into the house, he was like, hey, let's make a love seat. I'm a carpenter. Even the little thing, the little bio at the bottom of the screen was like Carpenter Conrad, 31.

Yeah, and now he's like, oh, I fucking hate carpentry. I'm jobless. Sorry. I'm just figuring some shit out like I was when I was in my 20s. How old is he? He's 31. Okay, do you think that's a red flag that a 31-year-old has quit their job with no real sense of direction

as to where they're going to head next? That was a big, complex question. um i think it depends on what you want as the person getting into the relationship like if i was where i am now in life and i obviously i mean like pre kids and stuff but if i wanted to meet someone settle down start a family and all that stuff and i was genuinely like i am looking for my life partner because i want to settle down have kids progress my life like if that's what i was faced with when we met then it's not aligned i would have been like i can't be with someone who is at a point in their life where they want to go

and figure out who they are and what they want to be because I'm like, I need someone who kind of knows that so we can hit the ground running. Don't you think? Yeah, 100%. So I understand why Brooke's a little bit like, okay, well, what does this mean for us? And I also don't think that she's saying

you need to know everything right now, but I guess she just kind of wants a little bit of clarity. And unfortunately, I think that that may be one thing that Conrad is lacking. I'm a very like logical and a pretty real person so for me like I'm just trying to picture what Conrad and Brooke's life looks like so well I don't think chasing materialistic things is gonna give me fulfillment and happiness right yeah I don't know but making other people happy makes me really happy so if I can use that to generate an income

awesome i think that i can get fulfillment that way yeah okay imagine being on the bachelor imagine being on the bachelor quitting your job to go on a reality tv show to become a reality tv star and someone says i'm just don't know how i'm gonna generate an income doing something that might make people happy i mean i wonder what it could be what do you think he's gonna do with his I mean, come on, Conrad, just say it like it is. He's going to be an influencer. And he's got influencer written all over it. Oh, my God.

Or he's going to be a clown. Yes. Hey, let's not judge too quick now. What else could he do that would make people happy and generate an income? Not that influencing makes people happy, but like, you know, we're addicted to social media and social media makes us happy. So like, you know, maybe in some weird roundabout way. Maybe he wants to be a masseuse.

Perhaps. Non-material, makes people happy, generates an income. No, he wants to be an influencer. Maybe he wants to be a tantric sex instructor. He wants to be an influencer. Let's not beat around the bush. I just think maybe, maybe we will see Conrad influencing people to buy things that make them happy.

I will literally buy anything that that guy is going to promote to me, whether it's teeth whitening, hair removal, you name it, I'll buy it. I don't care. Do you know what he's probably insinuating? He's going to start selling Happy Skin Co laser hair removal like all the influencers do. It's like, if any brands out there are listening and want to make other people happy, wink. Hashtag Happy Skin Co.

Anyway, this episode is absolutely not brought to you by them. Obviously, Conrad's story had to take a turn at some point. And so here we have it. That mass jeopardy that really does confirm the fact that he is going to be number three. A hundred percent. I'm gunning for Conrad to be number three. Let's get into the single date, which is with David. David, we already knew.

Okay, they're lovely. They're pleasant again. And there's so much pleasant stuff going on in these episodes. I just want a little bit of a shake-up. I know, okay, this is really bad to say. I know everything is very politically correct. And I don't want anything to be wildly offensive. But I just want a bit of, like, someone to do something wrong

so we can all get angry about it and then there's something to talk about. Yeah, no one's really rocked the boat at all. And this date, hey, look, it was nice, but it was, you know. I mean, it was just a copy of Abby Chatfield and Matt Agnew's date where they went and squished some grapes out in a field. They're like exactly the same buckets as well. Yeah. I mean, production still had them in the art department,

so they just whipped them out and got some grapes from Woolworths. I thought it was a bit much when you started fingering Brooke, though. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, have a listen to this. Do you like the feeling? For the record. In case anyone is unsure. There was no fingering on this date. I mean, we don't know.

There probably was. That was definitely David and Brooke's feet just sinking into a couple of grapes, making some good old table grapes into wine. Love that. It actually made me feel uncomfortable. When they did the close-up shot of the grapes and all of the juice and their feet, I was like, oh, I felt like I was in it, like it was in my mouth.

I kind of liked it. You would. Do you know who else liked it? Who's that? Brookey. okay i stitched him up but it was an excuse to get nice and close with him and maybe see his feet who would have thought brooke having a foot fetish i mean i wouldn't have picked it but good for her did david have nice feet i didn't get a good glimpse

no i don't think anyone has nice feet particularly not me should we talk about your feet for a second i mean i don't want to put you on the spot hey how about you tell everyone about my feet what's What's wrong with them, Matt? Nothing is wrong with your feet except – You say I have sausage toes for starters. No, they're like little chipolata toes. They're so like small and fat. But one thing that you do, one thing that you do constantly,

I don't know why this is, but constantly your pinky toe, the nail is ripped off and it's bleeding. Always. Like I would say 90% of the time. Like I remember yesterday I looked at your toes and both left and right foot pinky toe missing a nail and dried blood was there and i looked at you and i said hey laura what happened and you're like i don't know i hit some stuff it's like i think my little toe sticks out on a weird angle because i catch it everything those poor toes honestly those

pinkies have been through enough but also my toenails like split in half like my pinky toenails are split in half so like half the name it's like i've always got a perpetual hangnail it's really not okay i'm so glad that you didn't take me into a wine bucket and i kept my feet under wraps for so long drinking that wine with crusty blood and toenail mixed in delicious oh man look okay let's get back to the date for two seconds like no nothing else happened nothing else happened they're so pleasant exactly like what why do we keep talking about this they're so pleasant Everything is pleasant, but they're also so boring. Okay, yeah, let's wrap it up.

It's going to be David. Yeah, it's going to be David. Cocktail party. Interesting that Conrad pulls Brooke aside. Well, he didn't. She pulled him aside because you weren't watching. Let's not get bogged down in the details, but obviously at some point I reckon Conrad did some self-reflection,

probably thought to himself, oh, I've really put my foot in it with that answer about what the future's going to look like. Because, like, I probably should try and imply that I have a job. Yeah. That I'm employed. But, Laura, he digs a hole even deeper. I think a future with me would be, like, you know, we get up early,

we go for runs, or if you wanted to sleep in, I'd have your coffee ready for you because I'm up at 4.35. But I won't wake you. I'll just get you coffee. Cute. Okay, if some guy said to me, I have no job and I get up at 4.30am, I'd be like, holy shit, you are not my soulmate.

That's a nightmare. And look, this is, okay, I know there's going to be some people who are listening to this and they're like, don't judge people who don't have jobs. I get it. It's mostly a joke, but I also don't want to be with someone who gets up at 4.30 every single morning. Who the fuck wants to do that?

Especially if he's not going to a job. God, Conrad, what are you doing, mate? I honestly thought, I thought Conrad was going to go this episode. Thank heavens he stayed. How was Brooke's reaction? Cute. Yeah, she's like, fuck that. No chance, pal.

He's like, don't worry, I won't wake you up, though. I'll make you a coffee. Like, just fuck. And then she's like, so this is a weekend? We're going to lay in bed if it's raining because it rains lots in Melbourne. Like, fuck, Conrad, how much time are you going to spend in bed? What a nightmare. Anyway, Conrad survives.

And to absolutely no surprise to anyone, we say goodbye to Millie and Tim 2.0, a.k.a. Kurt. Do you know what? Tim didn't seem too sad about it. He took it like a champ, didn't he? It's also when you're in that environment, they try and make it seem like you're never going to see The Bachelor or Bachelorette again.

They're like, once you leave, that's it. Yeah, you're gone. You'll never contact them, see them. Like your connection with them is over. Tim doesn't buy into that. See you soon. Or maybe. Catch up for a coffee or something?

All right, that is the end of that episode. And now it's time for Hometowns. Break it all down to the hometown chicken. It's a hometown. My goodness. I've had two glasses of wine now and I'm just warming up. The thing is you're actually not a bad singer. Just on here.

But when you do that hometown jive, goodness me. Oh, I like a hometown jive. Oh, here we go again. Do you know what? We haven't actually watched this episode yet because we are a little bit behind. So we have to go watch it now and then make some notes. All right, we'll come back. And then come back.

Give us five. And finish the episode. Oh, it's going to be a long night. Sorry. I might have a couple more wines. Episode 10. We did it. We're exhausted.

We're also a little bit devastated, to be honest. No, Jay. How are you feeling? Well, I don't think we should say what happened. No, we should. No. Yes. Save it for the end.

Otherwise, people will stop listening. If we say the ending right now, then who the hell is going to want to stay on and hear the rest of the episode? You do realise that this comes out on a Friday and anybody who's opened the Daily Mail or any news article will know who went home tonight. No, because a lot of people, honestly, I'm telling you, a lot of people listen to this podcast and they don't watch the show

and they might miss the articles that come out. So the only way they're informed is from us. I'm telling you, honestly. It was Conrad. And we are going to riot. I have my pitchfork ready. I'm a little bit sleepy and a little bit drunk, but I will ride anyway into the streets.

Let's go, Matty J. It didn't make any sense because his hometown, I think, was one of the best. Oh, can we just take a moment? His dad. To stand, maybe a moment of silence for his dad, who was actually the best character on this entire season. No, hang on. He was the best parent we've ever had in the history of The Bachelor.

Ever. A little bit quirky, a little bit cute. Just a little bit quirky? Just a little bit. Let me take the chair, my dear. Thank you. Let me take the chair, my bear. Sit down.

I'm going to find my glasses. They're here somewhere. I've lost them. Don't tell me. If I can get my glasses now. Oh, look, I'll leave it. Forget the glasses. I'll focus.

Dad, this is Brooke. Say what? Dad. Hello. Nice to meet you guys. Brooke, it's great to see you, sort of in a sort of out of focus fashion. focused fashion i'm getting my glasses hang on oh there you are oh you're gorgeous brooke look it's

you i gotta apologize for not calming my hair all right his dad is definitely more than a little bit quirky but the next part the next part i was a little bit shook shooketh to the core well i didn't expect him to be so in touch with his emotions as well like i i cry at the sight of a man crying like nothing else you cry at the sight of a man crying yeah it's weird if i see if i see a man crying that makes me cry what about if you see a woman crying nah not for me yeah what if you see a child crying yeah or lola crying you're pretty good at shooting that one out actually take actually and then the older that man gets then the harder that cry hits me so if it's like a six-year-old boy you're like it's fine but if it's an 80 year old man you're

like it's pretty true actually not the whole man thing any older person crying gets me um yeah after 70 it reaches a limit like you know 70 80 90 makes no difference 70 is like the bar wow okay that was deep thank you for that matt there's probably some weird misogyny things that we need to unpack there but anyway but it was a really beautiful moment with conrad's dad it really was i think this was the best the most raw and honest hometown and conversation that we've ever seen from a contestant's parent ever it hurt him horribly he put so much into that previous relationship and it was blown out of the water and i mean seriously he chucked his whole heart and soul

into it and sorry he got his serious stuff off me i think but i felt so sorry for him sorry kooky and stupid his father is but you're all right george okay i made a bow tie anyway um what i'm trying to say is he he's a wonderful man he'd be a great catch i love him to death i would do anything for my son i really would i can't speak i was literally in tears couldn't see through my tears mascara running down my face snot dripping out of my nose, crying along with Conrad's dad. You literally had a single tear. It's not true.

You were like, I could barely breathe. It was too much. I couldn't see. I don't even know what happened for the rest of the episode. I cried through it. It's not true. But that was a very good moment. Yeah, it was beautiful.

But at the same time, not a lot happened. They didn't really put Brooke on the spot. I wonder if the fact that it's over Zoom had something to do with that as well. Because I feel like when you're face-to-face, it's like almost a whole day. Like, you have so much time when you're face-to-face. They couldn't have sat on a Zoom call for four hours. Like, when we had my hometowns, my hometowns, when you came to my hometown, it was like four hours with my family,

I think, or five hours. It was like the whole evening. Come on. You didn't really. Dragged on. It wouldn't end. It was terrible. Her whole family was there.

Now I have to see them all the time. Also the fact that I think his dad, and I'm not trying to be funny here, had some bad hearing. So maybe it was really difficult for them to have an in-depth conversation about their relationship, given that he'd struggled on Zoom. Well, I think there was probably more to it. I don't think that his dad would have gone from, like, quirky, funny guy into crying that instantly.

Like, they obviously had more of a conversation and more of a connection. We're seeing the highlight reel here, no surprise to anyone. But also, I mean, as we know that the one piece of jeopardy from the past episode with Conrad is this conversation around him not being super clear with what he wants to do for a career i guess like it's it's the ambiguity around career that seems to be his big jeopardy like not to sit on conrad for longer than we need to but obviously he leaves at the end of this episode give the spoiler away again nutty j i know sorry but like i don't think that jeopardy was enough to warrant him leaving well not when

we get into the jeopardy that comes with holly later on we can get into that okay let's get into that later okay jamie lee jamie lee it's all pleasant isn't it like look jamie lee brings her friends instead of her bringing her parents which is always an interesting choice when you don't bring your family members you bring your friends to hometown why do you think that's interesting i think it's probably maybe it's multi-faceted it could be that the parents don't want to be involved on a show i don't know it could be that they're not wanting because it's it's a whole other level to introduce your potential partner to your family than what it is to introduce your potential partner to your mate yeah i think when you go to hometowns when you're

not meeting the actual family like for example florence i met her friends i feel like the grilling that the questions that you get asked aren't anywhere near as intense like the question of a mother or father about their child and the potential heartbreak that has so much more weight behind it so i think i think when it's just friends it's a lot less intense yeah and i guess also the other thing on that like you're as a new potential partner to someone like you so desperately want your partner's family to to like you like you you really want like you know I remember when I met your mom like I want your mom to like me and of course I want your friends to like me too but my I care more about what your mom thinks about me than what your friends think about me

that makes sense I mean of course I care about what everyone thinks about me but I just think there's that little bit of extra pressure when it comes to someone's parents or family versus one or two friends. I mean, most people have multiple friends or close contacts. Oh, for sure. Close contacts. I'm like, we're doing a COVID screening here. But Jamie Lee's friends, they did ask a couple of tough questions. So are you dating three others? Two boys, two girls.

Oh, okay. Yeah. All right. it's quite concerning to me to hear the fact that brooke is dating two other guys and another girl it's very clear that d brooke's friend has maybe never watched the bachelor before or isn't quite sure how hometowns work she seems very surprised very surprised why are there cameras here why are you dating three other people now and also the questioning around like if jamie lee was to tell you that she loved you what would you say you can't say anything can you matt like at this point

at hometowns if i had said to you ma i love you what could you have said back to me i would have just wrapped up that conversation with a kiss but what can you say like what's the actual rules there aren't really any rules like it's not like osha sits you down and says okay rule number seven of being the bachelor but i guess it's maybe it's just explained in a less direct way by your producer that you do have to keep your cards that you do have to keep your cards close to your chest to a certain degree like if you were to say I love you I'm not going to say I love you back but I would say something along the lines of I really appreciate you opening up so much to me and I would maybe say and I feel like we have such a strong connection like I I'm definitely on the

same page there is nothing more deflating than saying to someone I am falling in love with you and them saying thank you cute but anyway Jamie Lee does not say I love you in this she doesn't even say i'm falling in love with you she says the most awkward thing you could say it was beautiful it was just like i mean write this down anybody who's struggling to put their emotions into words take note i really like you i'm like yeah i'm just like excited for the future beautiful all right babe thank you so much oh there we have it everybody jamie lee professing her undying love i would have thought i really

like you was for like episode i'm pretty sure she said more on episode one than she did out in town what the fuck sorry what was that what was that for somebody who has been so over the top i mean And let's look back at the love letter that she wrote, the novel that she put together. She's just put her heart on the table every single interaction with Brooke. And then that moment where it really counts, where she's like, hey, I want this more than ever. She's like.

Sup. That was so weird. Do you think maybe, okay, do you think maybe Jamie Lee is getting cold feet? No. Okay, all right. I was just going to put it out there. I don't think she's getting cold feet. I think that there's just so much pressure on saying I'm falling in love with you and you're

getting drilled by the producers that there's kind of like this feeling of like oh apprehension like you don't want it's your last chance to say it and you also don't want to feel stupid like I think you know there's that fear of rejection and saying I love you and not being having it reciprocated is like a really scary thing but one thing I did notice about all of these hometowns is that like I think back onto Tim Robards season I think back onto Sam Wood's season I think back even on to our season to some extent by hometowns everybody is usually saying i'm falling in love with you everybody is usually pretty goddamn invested the only person i know that we're getting ahead of ourselves but the only person who said i'm falling in love with you is the guy

she sent home that's it yeah it doesn't make any sense does it anyway let's get into david it was the most boring hometown ever now let's get into holly honestly though nothing happened there was truly no jeopardy david owns a landscaping business in brisbane david's mom doesn't want david to move because they still pretty much live together and that was about it that was it but also how have they gone to hometowns and not discussed the fact that they live interstate can someone explain this to me yeah that seems really weird like surely surely at this point someone even a producer has suggested why don't you guys talk about the fact that you know you might want to settle down in different cities and also i know

it sounds weird because like maybe you wouldn't talk about that with somebody who you've only been on a couple of dates with but in bachelor world normal totally normal on the first date you literally talk about hey do you want to have kids how many kids do you want hey where do you want to settle down whatever all that stuff that you wouldn't normally talk about until date four or five because it's you know pretty intense you talk about on date one and let's all remember that this is not brooke's first season she knows this she knows the drill yeah it's really strange which gets even stranger when we get onto holly's date so this is very big for holly because holly has never brought a female home to meet her mom or her twin sister didn't know she had a twin sister

nice piece of info and also how has that not been brought up just there it is twin sister maybe it was and we weren't watching do you think honestly i think i feel like there's certain information regarding the backstories of contestants that we're not told about you know we talk about like what is it about this season why aren't we why aren't we feeling as connected as before i don't feel like i know any of the contestants 100 other than conrad 100 but even conrad i still think that we know like a pretty diluted version of who he is like we only just sort of found out that his parents were artists because it came up in a group date i think there's so much of their backstories and this like building connection and building like you know just like investment in

their life that's been completely cut out and missing it's completely lacking right now 100 and i don't know whether it's being cut out because when they're on their dates they're not having these big conversations like maybe because you know we've said like a lot of the dates have been pretty boring to watch the conversations have been pretty lackluster are they not having these big conversations on dates which is where you get that sort of like oh i feel like i really know you as a person like i mean we thought conrad was a fucking carpenter we thought it was a carpenter up until last episode now he's an influencer now he's an influencer or maybe an artist or matt and i were sitting on the couch unpacking whilst this episode

was happening maybe conrad wants to be an actor because he wants to make people happy and he wants to find a way to make money out of it and people like watching movies. He would be such a bloody good actor. He already looks like one. He is so handsome, it's ridiculous. Okay, just quickly, we're going on a tangent. Holly.

So Holly's mum grills Brooke on what the future looks like. There's two really big jeopardies here. One is... Holly doesn't want to have kids and Brooke has made it very clear that she wants to have three. She wants like seven. She wants a tribe. and then the other big one is that brooke has has literally just let off the bomb she just

and then holly's mom was like did you did you just fart like no it was a dog holly's mom's like we don't have a dog and then it was just so awkward and holly comes in sniffing the fart it was so weird honestly it was very strange do you reckon that um how would holly feel about pulling the door open i think holly's down with an open door shit i really do i think she's she's so sensible there's no way anyway we um we've gotten off track again the fact that brooke has recently moved to melbourne but deep down she's talking about maybe 10 or 15 years she wants to move back to perth and for holly i moved to melbourne is totally fine she could consider it she's been there before holly says i would not move to perth for me that's not my radar at all

well it's not even to Perth I mean Brooke said where she's from is not Perth she's from nine hours north of Perth so it's it's a huge change and it's a huge move and I think like on Holly's hometown we've got now these two massive bombs someone who we thought they had this like incredible unshakable connection I just don't understand how they haven't had any of these conversations pre-hometowns and how they're having them at the at the last minute when they're supposed to be leaving so basically Brooke and Holly are standing there at the front of the house and that final moment where they're supposed to be talking about how they're falling in love with each other and they're they're unpacking these huge differences that they hadn't spoken

about on any of their their dates or their extra time or any of that sort of stuff so it was just such a monumental waste of their last moments together and then brooke goes and cries and she walks off like she's on the blair witch into the just into the garden bed the camera just pans up to the sky it was so weird okay but let's just recap really really quickly david sure he's going to win make sense bring him through to finale absolutely jamie lee she says i really like you that is it holly is like hey we don't want the same thing when it comes to kids we want to live in different cities massive jeopardy and then conrad he's the one who's opened up the most saying i'm falling in love with you and he goes home what what do you mean it doesn't make sense

does it except for the fact that i think brooke was trying to protect conrad i think she really realized just how emotionally invested he is and she wasn't no no take him to number three number three is fine no yeah number four like come on there's there's still so much life left in the conrad brooke story even if he's going to go home at number three like at least make it entertaining for us totally i think it was becoming quite obvious that she was a little bit like i'm over this now but do it for us do it for the viewers because there's nothing else to watch next week that's for sure because everyone's just so nice and boring and on that note please stay with us for one more week can't believe we've only got one more week left i mean it is almost the middle

of the night and we're still going and then have to finish editing this i think so we're we're done let's wrap this up well that is it guys as you know conrad went home we are now heading balls first into finale week next week no one heads balls first what do you mean heads balls first what if you're i'm teabagging someone would that be balls first yeah yeah i guess we're heading teabagging we are teabagging ourselves into next week's episode i can't believe we're at the final week but after this week i am glad that we're at the final week i hope that there are some people still watching it with us and now i'm i mean i'm still pretty convinced that david is the winner But I think, I don't know if it's David and Holly at number two anymore.

Maybe it's David and Jamie Lee. I think that's the big surprise is the fact that Jamie Lee, just this dark horse coming through on the home straight, brushes past Conrad, then moves past Holly. But also, would you do that to your friend? Would you take one of your good friends through to number two to break up with them at the finale? Well, let's find out.

Before we go, Laura, before we go, Do you remember we asked people to give us a little bit of a review on Apple Podcasts? Oh, God. Here we go. Can I just say a little message from Katie, K-D-K-D, that Matty J guy is the glue, the glue that holds the ship T together. Anyway, guys, that is it for us. No, no, don't let me finish on that.

Do you have any more? In fact, there's just nothing that compares to his charisma and charm. There you go. I think that there's more to that review that you're not reading out. There's a quote for you, Maddie. I know you love a good review. Anyway, guys, if you have loved Batch on Cart, if you're still watching the episodes or if you're just relying on us

to recap them, please jump on Apple Podcasts, leave a review. If you haven't voted yet for the Listener's Choice Award for the Podcast Awards, there's only like a week left. So please jump on and do that. We'll put the link in the show notes. This is your very friendly reminder. I've only given you one little story on my socials. Am I meant to do more?

Have you voted yet, though? No, I have not. You can't ask other people to vote and then not vote. You're absolutely right. This is true. Absolutely. I can't dispute that. You can't do that.

It's terrible. Anyway, guys, that is it from us. Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your sister, your brother, your dog, your cousin, your nephew. The kids are asleep, so let's not do it too loud. And share the love. Because we love love. Bye. I miss you.

Good night. We'll be right back.