Life Uncut - BLOODY HINDSIGHT! Lessons we wish we knew in our 20's, self love and dealing with failure.

Episode Date: February 3, 2020

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Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura and I'm Brittany and I hope to God you guys know who we are by now. What if they haven't listened to an episode, Britt? Well, then I want to know, where have you been? Oh my God, that was not even planned. That was so annoying. I'm really sorry to anyone who just had to listen through that. I don't feel like that was annoying.

I just feel like that's really showing that we spend too much time together. Guys, just so you know, it is quite late and that is because we really wanted to watch Married at First Sight last night. So we just watched it and here we are. now doing the podcast it's 11 p.m and we are recording this podcast just wanted to bring you all the juicy gossip from last night's episode uh which went for a very very long time i cannot tell you how excited laura has been for this moment she has been waiting like a year to watch this episode and i want to know was it worth it laura look i'm a bit obsessed with reality tv

which is kind of disgusting since i've been on one myself so were you obsessed with reality tv before you went on no oh so it's only since you've had like the inside yes no i never ever watched anything to do with reality tv but after doing bachelor i guess i this is kind of like sick perversion that i have where i'm like i know that it can change people's lives but also i live for the drama so it's kind of a bit of both right and it's and i guess once you've been in it and you know the ins and outs and you know the way it ticks you look at it differently totally so you froth it a bit more and i and i'm i'm fully frothing it i like to try to try to analyze like the producer tactics and also guys if you are watching this season of maths here is my advice

stay woke to the music because oh it is such trickery because something might be like it might be a pretty normal setting nothing exciting is happening and then there'll be this really ominous music happening and it will make you hate a character or hate a person who's on the show like subconsciously yes subconsciously because the bad music is playing and so now i watch it and i'm sick for it but you know what also maybe they know that we know that now so it's like music inception and they're changing it so that we don't figure out the ending this is my thing that i realized from last night is that they have a formula so they do the same thing with bachelor bachelor and now maths it has a formula and it sticks to the formula every single season and so

once there's been a few seasons under its belt it becomes pretty obvious you can guess how they're going to do it so last night for example there's always one lovely wedding and then there's another wedding that has like a little bit of jeopardy thrown in there so in last night's episode we had poppy she got paired up with luke and yeah so poppy has the twin boys poppy has the twin boys and her husband left her when they were six weeks old oh how funny was her um story about how he had the accident but the accident was that he slipped into his co-worker's vagina yeah like i had goosebumps when she was telling that story before the vagina i thought he actually had a proper accident i was sitting there i'm very hormonal and i was sitting there watching that part of

the episode in tears like how this woman has just lost her husband she has newborn babies and then bait and switch baby bait and switch but i i really like them i don't think that they're going to work as a couple purely because of the jeopardy that's already been thrown into the mix but I really like them individually so I hope that I'm wrong I agree but how do you think it's going to work with like she has young two young children and he has two teenage children that's a big sort of difference yeah but maybe it'll work because he's already been through it he understands what it takes to have young children and so he would have maybe the experience and maybe that comes with the patience but he just seems like a genuine really wonderful guy he does like you just

want to you just want to be his friend so so wonderful and Poppy also seems really really amazing the only thing there is that I can I can only imagine how stressful and upsetting it would be to leave your two children to go and do a reality show at every stage along the way you would be thinking am I making the right decision and why the hell am I here and not at home with my children and second guessing yourself so I feel really really sorry for her however I also do think you will you made the decision you're there now so you've got to stick it out and you you are told and you're given enough information you you're prepared you know how long you're going to be away or you could be away um you know visitations are limited you know how much you're

going to be able to speak and have contact so it is a decision that you make yeah I do look I mean I do agree with that to some extent but I think for somebody who's never been on reality tv it's all fine to say you know oh well you knew about this and you knew what you were in for but you never really know what you're in for so i do think that we need to give her a little bit of leeway and the fact that once it became really real and she was actually in that situation that her natural reaction was what the fuck am i doing which i think is pretty a pretty normal you get the information right they tell you how it's going to be they tell you how long you're to be away for and it's going to be hard but you don't know until you know like once you're in

there you're like oh like i knew this was going to be tough but it's a different ball game and once the cameras are in your face all the time like it becomes real it's real and the stress is there and every single contestant in the history of any reality tv show ever will have that moment where they're like what the actual fuck am i doing or you'll have that moment every single day that you wake up which is what i had i only had one i had one really i was so chill i was so sweet in there. That makes me almost angry. I had like full blown insomnia because every single night I lay in bed just being like, what am I doing? Like, what is he thinking? Does he love me? Nah, I had one meltdown. Otherwise I was like, yeah, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.

That's really annoying. Thanks, Sozzy. But okay. So we also have Kathy and Josh. What do you think of them as a couple? I want your opinion on these. I think they're adorable. I think they're so cute. i think he is a babe oh my goodness he is a babe he's just this lovable australian like real good aussie bloke i don't know if they're like a perfect match in personality wise but i mean look it's early days guys we'll soon figure this out and he seems like he actually does want to meet someone i think he's super genuine but can i just say like it's just such a stupid show. I know you love it. How can you say this? You went on The Bachelor. And I'm very aware of that, but I feel like they're very different. You're in a polygamous relationship with all

your sister wives for three months. And you think that that's less ridiculous. Brittany, get back in your lane, girlfriend. I'm happy to stay in my bachelor lane. It's different. Like, I think it's okay to go on. And I thought I'd develop relationships and feelings for three months and then i thought i'd walk away in love cool it is what it is we're never going to go and compete for it for one man against 30 women ever again in our whole life you do every day on tinder well played but i don't have to share bunk beds with them this is true but then i just this i just can't get past the concept of you're in your wedding dress and you haven't even seen the person. It just blows my mind. I'm sick for it. I love it so much. I'm here for it, but I want you

to know that I'm here for you for it. Thank you. And for everybody else who's equally as obsessed with Married at First Sight, guys, if you didn't watch last night's episode and you've just had to listen to us rant about this for like the last however many minutes it's been, I'm not even sorry. Yeah. Okay. Let's actually talk about what the actual episode is today. And that is we thought it would be really nice take a trip down memory lane and give advice to our younger self because we made some mistakes we have our ask uncut episode that we do every week but what we thought we would do in this episode is just combine some of the wisdom that we've accumulated over the years from all of the bad decision making that we've made and go back in time and impart that

wisdom on our 20 year old selves yeah like britney there will be a time you will want to dye your hair blonde please please fight that urge that's what I would tell my younger self I reckon you'd suit blonde oh my god I'll show you a photo you know what I'm gonna post it I'm gonna post me as a blonde on our Instagram and you will die babe it can't be anywhere near as bad as me with an undercut okay you're posting that you post an undercut and I will post the blonde tell me how your week has been because I know it's been big oh but not for the good reason not like we'll party big god i don't even think party big happens anymore uh guys this week has been a real struggle town and i feel like i'm doing my second suite already at the beginning of the episode

but marley has been sick for the very first time she uh was has been on and off sick since we got back from bali and we couldn't quite put a finger on what's been wrong with her and then in the last two days she went downhill really really badly and we ended up in hospital and she's got hand foot and mouth disease which is gross and also really painful for her so it's been it's been horrible and it's one of those things isn't it that all kids get and you want them to get it so that it's done but she's so young she can't tell you and she's in so much pain and I know for anyone who who's a parent who has kids and and watching your baby be uncomfortable and not being able to do anything yesterday was a really hard day and I'm very very lucky that Matt has taken

full responsibility this evening so that i could come and even do this podcast we didn't we weren't sure that this episode was going to be able to to come out this week but also i feel like if that ever happens that's okay because oh yeah we live real lives and if this sort of stuff happens it's okay that we have to miss an episode and i'm sure all of our lovely listeners will be able to understand today she's actually so much better she's she's on the mend her temperature's down And as much as she's uncomfortable and very, very grisly, like she's, there's little glimmers of my little baby. That's a happy baby.

So yeah, it's, it's, it's getting back to normal. Okay. So tell me what has been happening this week, Brittany. I know you have some dating stories you've been kind of holding back and I'm ready to hear them. Okay. So I actually went on my very first set up date. I've never been on one before.

Like a blind date? Blind date. I had a girlfriend message me. I was like, how have I never gone on a blind date? and I'm at the point now where I don't even overthink it she goes hey I've got a friend from school are you interested and I was like yeah sure she goes you want to see a photo I'm like don't need one I'm gonna go I was like nah send me a photo he looked hot I saw one photo tried to stalk his Instagram so you had to get real deep in there I couldn't get deep the profile

I mean I couldn't it was private oh and then anyway did you do a google stalk yeah okay and then you're like, I will go. He's pretty private. But anyway, she just said, look, he's a great guy. You've got nothing to lose. And I'm like, damn straight. I've got nothing to lose. So I said, just tell him to slide into my DM two minutes later. And I love this. And I want to make a comment about this. It sort of ties into our week, our episode a few weeks ago about dating etiquette. Obviously we did that. If you haven't listened, guys have a listen. He was so great. He was like, Hey, heard we're going to meet up. Let's meet at eight o'clock this day, this place and i was like who are you this doesn't happen anymore men don't take control

like real assertiveness on a date is so attractive i was so turned on oh okay i was like uh it just doesn't happen this is what usually happens guys like hey like you want to hang out because they're american now you want to hang out got like what do you want to do like what do you feel like doing like do you like to eat stuff or like and then the no it's do you want to catch up catch up we should go for some i'm like i don't know you why would i catch up with you i catch up with my brother yes but you know why it's because it's very non-committal and so it's not quite a date it's just a it's just a hangout because then when they flake they're like well it wasn't a date it was just a catch-up totally okay so then what happened okay so I meet him and it was amazing

he was cute and he's smart and he's funny it was easy we met at eight o'clock he walked me home to my house like a gentleman at 1 30 so it was a solid blind date I'm waiting for the red flags okay he kissed me good night and didn't even try anything walked home that was it well i've met him again since i met him on a second date but the red there is a red flag it's not a red flag but like why does this happen to me he's like oh like by the way i'm mr perfect but i also live in new york this is why you keep speaking with an american accent throughout this story he lives in new york perfect so you're completely unavailable great he's exactly your type why did your girlfriend set you up with someone who is not only who maybe he's emotionally available but

he's physically unavailable like he doesn't live in this country so i messaged her and i was like hey she's like how'd it go and i was like yeah brilliant my favorite part was how he lives in new york she's like i'm trying to she's like i love him i'm trying to get him to move back his whole family's here he'll come back eventually she's like i just thought i'd like you know set the groundwork now let you guys meet and then maybe you can continue talking and maybe he'll come back and you'll live happily ever after i feel like you need to start vetoing these dates and put some parameters even around blind dates and be like one is he emotionally available two does he live within some vicinity of this state and in this hemisphere three yeah yeah please is

he married does he have kids like just find out just do a bit of groundwork blind dates should not be so blind so we go on this second date um just last night it was it was again it was really nice we had drinks we had some dinner and we had a laugh and it was brilliant and then i had another that sort of like accidentally unfiltered moment and I don't know how so on the first date we're playing pool it was we had so much fun we're playing pool and these two guys were there so you can bear with me Laura on this story I'm already and listeners we met these two guys playing pool they're playing at the table next to us and I don't know if they thought we were like brother and sister on this date because I could tell that one of them started to like

hit on me like and I was like do you know that I'm on a date right now anyway he must have thought and brother and sister so he starts talking to me a lot and he's talking about surfing and obviously like i'm five wines deep at this point i'm like oh i used to surf i've started surfing now it's my resolution like you know he's getting really into it and we're chatting away the other guy and the date are just talking together so i think that this guy was really keen and then you know when there's this awkward moment where they're like why don't i grab your number and like and we'll catch up wait the other guy that was playing pool wanted to get your number in front of the guy who you're on a date with yes and he did and my date was sort of like okay I'm just gonna roll

with this so I know so I give him my number because it's that awkward on the spot like you didn't say I'm actually on a date no the way he said it was like what we just said we should hang out as like and it could be he could have met a friend imagine if I was like I'm on a date and he's like duh like just wanted to catch up as a friend so anyway it was that awkward moment he gave me his phone and I was like yeah sure like and I made it obvious what I was doing to my date so that he knew I wasn't actually trying to give my number out so I'm like type it in and then I see him prank me oh i don't even see it he goes i'll prank you so you got my number i'm like in my head i'm like dude i'm never gonna call you but like thank you just i forget about it go back

to my date and um i was like that was weird whatever we continue the night okay you and the date the date okay which is john john perfect let's give him a name yeah john uh so john and i had a little laugh about it but we were pretty deep in the reds and we were like oh i just didn't even think about it again anyway I realize a few days later that I see I remember my date John also had pranked me to have his number so I went into the prank number the missed call and I saved it as John perfect because I thought it was John's number John my blind date we go on to the second date and as I'm waiting for John for the second date I just this sounds so bad guys but I have to be really practical with my time. I'm like, it's been two weeks. I'm just going to quickly

log on to online dating and have a flick while I'm waiting for my date. So I'm like, I'm limited with time. Don't judge me. I'm not. I absolutely not. You're like, time is money. I mean, I've got to stay 25 minutes here. I might set up date number three, nine o'clock, move along my next date. So anyway, right. I'm waiting for him and I'm having a flick. And as soon as I haven't been on in weeks get this I feel like this is the universe being like meant to be I log on to hinge and you wouldn't know because you're so far out of the dating scene in love and in love hinge do this feature where they're like they find you who they think is most compatible and they'll tell you and it doesn't mean you've liked you've never seen them before so I open the page

and hinge has gone Brittany we think you are most compatible this week with John and it was a guy I had been on a blind date with they had just hinge had matched us so I think this is really funny I screenshot it and I was like I'm gonna I'm gonna send it to him and like be like look we're meant to be like as a joke but also not I was like I'm gonna wait and just send it to him when we're at dinner I don't know why I did that so we get to the restaurant and I was like oh I'm gonna send you something funny oh my god I already know where this is going I was like I'm gonna send you something funny and he's like okay and I'm like ready for it and he's sitting opposite me I don't know why I didn't show him probably because I didn't want him to scroll through

my photos because that'll be awkward so I sent it to him across the table and I'm like did you get it and he's like no but my number's American so it's probably still coming and then I get a message back on my phone it's like my message said sent to John and he's like I haven't got it and then I get a message back from John and I'm like yes you did you just messaged me back and he's like Brittany I haven't touched my phone like I didn't get the message and I'm like it says John has message me back and he's like what does it say and I opened it up and so I have sent the screenshot being like look we're meant to be to the guy who was playing pool to the pool boy and I get a message I didn't figure this out for ages I get a message back saying hi I'm just eating a steak

I can meet you in an hour what how is that even a reasonable reply to the fact that you just sent somebody else's hinge profile to him it gets funnier and I'm like I couldn't work out who it is i'm like someone i don't know any other like he this guy's name is really unique so just say it's john hurowitz i'm like i don't know any other john hurowitz how can this be in my phone how can i ever saved it he's like you must have met someone at no point did you think i've just accidentally saved this guy's number wrong no that that didn't occur to you no not until the person wrote it didn't occur to me because we were drunk and i forgot he even pranked me perfect it didn't occur to me until he wrote something back saying we should continue our

chat on surfing and go for a surf sometime and read it i read it to my date and he goes oh my god it's a guy from pool and then he's like let me come and meet you right now and i'm going to john oh my god how do i get out of this this is so awkward he wants to go on a date with me after i've sent him a date that i'm on now but did you how did you just like call a spade a spade babe you're all about the no ghosting things so surely you could have just been like actually i wrote back this was market research for my podcast and i fucked up big time i wrote back and said oh lol I think I sent this to the wrong person I'm actually oh and he goes that's okay should we still meet for a drink and I said I'm actually with my boyfriend right now and he said oh is that

guy your boyfriend that's cool we can meet another day he asked me that like five times when I just anyway it was just this big conundrum and I was like how am I still accidentally unfiltering people because I feel like now that this is inside you and you're doing it specifically to bring content to this podcast and I'm all for this I think I just don't think things through But do you think this guy thought you were available because you had given him your number in the first place? So maybe he didn't think that you were as serious with, oh mate, which you obviously weren't, it was the first date.

I sent him a perfect match screenshot. Oh, just confusing. Just confusing on so many levels. Anyway, fuck my life. But guys, speaking of accidentally unfiltered scenarios, Britt has brought this great section to the podcast where you guys have been writing in with random and ridiculous situations that you found yourself in where maybe you have texted the guy that you're in love with or the wrong person a very compromising photo of yourself it seems to be the case so I do have another story

I love reading them guys we love it so keep writing them in I just thought it would be nice to bring in just that everyday fuck up that we all do so this girl wrote in and she's like look I work full-time but I had to go in this one day to drop my car in because I was going in for a full respray that morning when I got into town so I drop it off and I'm like hey guys like can someone drop me to work and they were all like oh sorry like we don't have anyone here to drop you to work because it's so early so I'm like oh yeah like that's totally cool like I'll just get a cab or call someone to grab me she's trying to play it cool she was nice then she says I'm standing out the front of the shop waiting for my friend to pick me up that I've called because

these guys won't drop me and I'm snapchatting a video to my boyfriend of me ranting and going off about this place and their treatment and how they're not taking me to work, how I lose my car for weeks, like it's taking too long. Meanwhile, she sees the painter guy that's driving her car to the workshop in her car. He drives past in front of her and he does like a burnout, like he does it in front of her. And she's like, whoa, what the fuck? Like these guys, did he realize that it was her car? Yes, he realized it was her car. Because what happened is she went to replay her snapchat video back to listen to it and she couldn't really hear it so she was trying to up the volume and she realized that i was playing through the bluetooth of her

car oh my god that's great this poor guy's trying to drive her car to work hearing her write him off so he doesn't burn out skinny wait i have a great story like this very very similar okay so this this is like an urban legend story that's been kind of handed down through the archives of friends it truly is okay so one of our mates had a whole group of friends staying over they'd gone out for a massive night out anyway i had ended up back at his house and he he was like oh i'm just gonna sleep on the couch because he was too drunk there was someone sleeping in his bed somebody else sleeping upstairs anyway he couldn't get to sleep so he's like oh fuck it i'll uh i'll masturbate i'll i'll have a i'll have a little go with myself and

then i'll go to sleep but i'll watch some porn so he put porn on his phone and he's sitting there watching it he's like what the fuck is the volume not working then starts turning the volume up turning the volume up can't figure out why the volume's not working doesn't actually that doesn't register because he's so drunk anyway has a good number in himself goes to sleep wakes up the next day and realizes that the bluetooth was playing in his bedroom speaker where somebody was wide awake just listening to porn but they can't see it either they just listen to it just listening to it probably wouldn't be too bad i reckon it's pretty bad just to listen though so outrageous i I would have gotten up and been like, who the fuck's playing the pawn?

Turn it off. Or like, hurry up. Like, why are you taking so long? They're at their peak. Why aren't you peaking? Oh, my God. Well, there you go, guys. We haven't even gotten into the episode yet and I'm ready.

I'm done. Let's lay it. RIP us. Let's get into the episode. But also, before we do, bloody hell, keep those coming in, caption them accidentally unfiltered and keep bringing the laughs because we die for this. We decided that this episode, we're going to take a little bit

of a different route and we're not going to talk just specifically specifically relationship-esque stuffs. We're going to get out of here. We're going to give you guys, well, actually this is kind of an episode, which is dedicated to our former selves. So as women who are in our thirties now, this episode is kind of aimed more at our 20 year old selves and the lessons that we would tell ourselves if we could go back in time and be like, do you know what? You're going to be okay, girlfriend. So this is... And don't wear that bright pink lipstick. Oh my God. And you do not have to fake tan until the point where you look orange.

We've all been there. We've all done the on pullover tan. So yeah. So these are the lessons that we would give ourselves if we were in our twenties from the people that we are now. Yeah. Okay. Well, I'm going to kick it off. We've got a bunch, but you know what? The first thing when you and I gave ourselves this job to write it down, my first thing I went to was don't put your life on hold for a boy or a man or anyone again, don't put your life on hold. So if you want to go and do something because you're all going to have dreams. Everyone has a dream. Everyone has a bucket list. Everyone has things they want to do. You may, like I did, I don't know if you have Laura, but you may stumble across

someone in your life that is like a roadblock and they're like, no, don't do that yet. Don't do it for this reason. Wait for me. You know, I was with someone that said, don't move overseas for three more years because then I'll come with you. And I actually didn't do that. And that was the sociopath episode three guys. So it's a great, it's a great episode. If you haven't listened to episode three so i dated a sociopath oh that is like my absolute highly recommend go back and listen to that episode it is all about brit's ex dating life and it's intense yeah so i that's my biggest thing and i hope you guys listening we do have a lot of young listeners if you want to do something don't let anything get in your way do you know what just on that as well though i think

you can kind of take it from the other angle it's not so much as for me uh putting my life on hold But I also think sometimes don't chase after somebody else's dreams. I remember when I was in, I'd finished my undergraduate degree and I was in this weird limbo phase of my life. And the guy that I was dating, he lived in Lismore. He still wanted to go and do his degree. And that's where he was studying. And I decided to move to Lismore, chased after a guy who, you know, didn't really make many

sacrifices for me at all because I really wanted the relationship to happen. And then I found myself in a place that I didn't want to live in doing something I didn't want to do I started studying my postgraduate there and I put myself then in debt because I didn't even want to be doing my postgraduate degree which that is going to be one of my things to tell your 20 year old self don't continue studying when you don't have directional purpose because your hex debt is going to catch up to you that's definitely a thing and I guess if you don't love it if you're not loving something you're like oh fuck may as well just do it totally totally like go do something or go find something or figure it out what you love because you will

figure it out you're not going to figure it out doing something you detest absolutely so i i went in this sort of situation was i was chasing after somebody else and so not only was i putting my dreams on hold but i was just making all the sacrifices so i think that that's just kind of to like elaborate on your point a little bit i think that that's something to be aware of as well as like if you're the one who's making all the sacrifices in a relationship then maybe that's not the right relationship for you because that shit is 50 50 y'all well yeah your boyfriend was out chasing his dreams and living where he wanted and studying what he wanted and you just trailed along because you thought you know i have to do this to be with him totally yeah and and i and i

know some other girls who've kind of found themselves in that situation and then when they've kind of come into their 30s they're like oh i don't have the purpose in my life i haven't figured out what i want to do because my whole identity has been based around trying to help my partner follow their dreams and so i think be really aware of that guys if you're if you're making all of the sacrifices for somebody else, then you essentially are putting your life on hold anyway. And also we're not saying if you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend and you want to go and live overseas for a year, we're not saying that you have to end that relationship. So I, my first relationship, I was with him for eight years and I wanted to go overseas when I was 19, but I didn't

want to break up with him, but I knew I wanted to go and be independent. So I moved overseas and we stayed together for a year long distance because you can, he was supportive of me. I was like, I'm not going to put my life on hold because you can't go. And we, as a couple were like, he was like, cool, you go do your thing. Brilliant. And that's what a relationship should be. Then I meet old mate sociopath and he's like, you know, bars are up and no, you can't do anything. And I was infatuated. So I didn't. And it doesn't mean as well that you don't make compromises here and there. Like, of course you make compromises to be with the person that you want to be with, but the compromises can't be all one-sided you have to make compromises 50 50 what's your point

oh what is my point okay so my number one point that I wrote down for this it comes from being a new mum and I wonder if this is going to be relevant to other new mums who are out there but I know that throughout my life I've been really really hypercritical of my parents and the way that they parented me my mum she was a single mum and my dad and her separated when I was really young when I was three and yeah there were parts of my childhood that I would at the time think you know if I was a parent I wouldn't have done that or I would have done things differently and I know that when I was in my early 20s I spent a lot of time being really critical of my parents but now that I'm a bit older and now that I have a baby of my own and I have had more time to think

about my childhood and the way that I want to parent it it hasn't sort of made me go oh I'm going to do things completely differently, it's actually given me this real found respect for my mom and for the fact that she raised three kids on her own and that she made the absolute best choices that she could make at the time considering the circumstances that she was in. And so I know that everyone's experience and relationship with their parents is completely different. And there are some parents who have done a bloody terrible job. I get that. But I do think that sometimes we can be really critical and we just haven't been in that situation yet ourselves where we're not necessarily parents and we don't know how we would react to different things and I also think

about my mum I'm like god she was so young you know she was in her early 30s trying to raise three children without a lot of support and I think how would I react when I if I was in that situation probably probably a lot worse than what she did so yeah I think looking back on how critical I was during my twenties of my parents, I would like, I would hope that Marley is never that critical of me. And you know what? She will be because I know, isn't it? I'd be like, you ungrateful little thing. You will. And I feel like, cause I, I have this point basically written down to an extent as well. Obviously I'm not a parent, so I don't know quite the level of stress and fatigue and what it brings. But I know that now as an adult, just facing normal life

stresses and i don't have dependence i often sit back now and i say to myself bloody hell i don't know how my parents did it i'm barely keeping myself fed watered and alive to be honest like i'm feeding myself magnums um i'm barely keeping my head afloat and they did it as a young couple working two jobs with four kids we're all 18 months apart like we're so close one of them was ADHD love you brother but like you were a lot yeah that's just it right like it throws so much at you and and I guess the thing that I didn't really value or appreciate at the time or even when I was a young adult is that kids don't come with a manual and we don't know what what we're doing like I don't know what I'm doing every day I'm learning and every day I don't know if I'm

doing the right thing or if I could be doing something better and so I can only assume that my mum felt like that 99% of the time as well. Oh, totally. I'm obsessed with my parents now. Like they are the greatest humans in the world and I adore them and I love them. And now I can appreciate that when I was 15 and they were saying, no, Brittany, you're not going out to a beach party till 2am. They weren't trying to ruin your life. They weren't trying to ruin my dating life or my social life. They were trying to keep me protected. And maybe sometimes the decisions that you make aren't the best ones as a parent every single time, but you, you always have your children's best intentions at heart. And so I really, as an adult now, I have so much more

respect for my parents and I just wish that I had gone a little bit easier on them when I was younger. Do you want to know something funny I used to do? Yes. I don't know if you used to do this, but I feel like there are definitely people that did and parents must just fucking Lola Derby at this. Did you say Lola Derby again? It's already banned, Britney. So I used to go out and I'd have a curfew say, just say it was midnight. I used to just like wind my watch back and pretend that my watch stopped so i could stay out an extra hour you can't do that shit anymore because you've got mobile phones that's how old we are i didn't have a mobile phone so i'll be like oh my god dad would be waiting up for me at like 1 a.m he'd be like where the beep

you been and i'd look at my watch and like this is how i got into acting guys i'd look at my watch and i'd be like oh my god what time is it dad like why are you still up it's like what are you talking about i'll be like my watch must have stopped he's like britney you think i was born yesterday he's like I used to do that trick bloody hell all right let's get to another one I've got another one that I have written that I mean this isn't directed to my younger self because I really embrace this but I think it's important for anyone else listening and that is to travel like travel as much as you can alone with people with your boyfriend with your friends I just think it is so important I think travel is the best form of education you learn so much

about yourself. There is such a big world out there to see. And there will come a day where you have kids and you have a mortgage and you're at home with vomit on you. And you're going to be like, why didn't I just do that trip to Europe? Or you can keep on traveling when you have kids. I think that there's a massive stigma attached to traveling with children where I know it can be really hard and I know the dynamic changes completely, but it's definitely doable. Well, I don't think the thing, I don't think it's a stigma that it's hard necessarily. There's a lot of people that it's hard, but I think what happens to a lot of families is they get tied up with money. So it's more like, I can't travel now because I don't have a disposable income anymore.

Like, I think that's what happens. This is why I'm like, go do it now because one day that money is going to have to go to the mortgage, the diapers, whatever. Not only just how carefree you feel, but the thing that I love about traveling and the thing that I think was very life-changing and not in like, Oh my God, I got to travel. I'm so woke. But when you travel, you can be whoever you want to be because nobody has expectations on you nobody has any preconceived ideas as to who you are because you know you meet new people every day you can be the version of yourself that you want to be and that doesn't mean that you're faking it or you're pretending to be anything but you're not tied down just can kind of shake off those shackles of whatever identity you don't

enjoy wherever it is that you are at the moment so I used to feel so free and so unencumbered when I was traveling. And I really love that aspect of personal growth. The best bits about traveling is that it makes you really adaptable and it makes you a great problem solver because you know for sure that something is going to go wrong when you're traveling and there's going to be something where you can't rely on the creature comforts of your own home. And so if you're able to like overcome adversity when you're traveling, man, it makes you so much more equipped for dealing with when shit goes wrong on the home front. And you know what the other thing is? It makes you or made me and i don't know what you felt like going to places like india it made me really grateful

for my home the life i live my education having a roof over my head um i didn't take things for granted anymore i didn't sweat the small stuff because there are just so many people in the world that are going through a really hard time and don't have the resources available that we are lucky enough to have here in australia yeah it's definitely it definitely gives you a great perspective on how entitled we are oh absolutely well well well all righty what have i got what you got bring me another point I mean as Baz Luhrmann uh has very very kindly bestowed on all of us I think that I would just like to run home the importance of wearing some goddamn sunscreen I don't like I I mean this I'm not even just saying this in as a token point the one thing

that I will criticize my mum on is that when I was young she used to be like oh you've got a pimple go outside and get some sun and I think we just were of a different generation when it came to sun that we were outside getting a tan i grew up on a south coast coastal town so we were always at the beach but now when i think about my skin in my 30s and i think about the damage that i have done to myself and brit you just got something burnt off you the other day guys i had i went in for a skin check i didn't even have a worry i was like i'm just gonna you know do a general skin check because i'm 30 and i've spent time in the sun and they were like we need to cut these two things off they don't look good and i was like oh my god like yeah brit's had this hectic

burn on her hand because she got some skin something questionable things let's not use the c word go get checked guys but also just like prevention i know that everyone's heard this we we know that this is like the most basic point but prevention is key like wear sunscreen you will thank yourself when you're in your 30s and you don't have pigmentation and you're not trying to like fix everything that's gone wrong like you know there's only so much that you can laze your face off to try and get rid of the sun damage that you've done to yourself so just wear some sunscreen guys and everyone and that counts for the 30 year olds now who are still out there getting some sun um okay so i've got a few other ones you know those things when we were teenagers

and you called them we called them and it's so incorrect but we called them slut strands you know those slut strands at the front of your face like you'd put your hair in a pony i still do that from time to time britney do you yes you taught you mean like the long bits of fringe that you pull down yeah it's like so britney spears okay so i bleached them oh that's upsetting why did you do that just get that image into your head i had black hair and i pulled these slut strands down and i i don't know why i did it this is my point i'm telling my younger self please don't ever do that again don't ever do that but you know what i do also think that you need to go through some really, really heinous fashion and hairstyles.

I used to have an undercut, like a proper shaved undercut. You shaved your head? Yeah, that shit is character building. I wanted something different. But you know what? Like I said, that stuff is character building and sometimes you need to just ride the waves of life. Don't ever chase a man that is not giving you his full attention

except if you are on The Bachelor. That is the one and only time that we will allow it. I was going to say, actually, it worked out pretty well for me. For you? Far out. Look where I ended up. On this thing with you. Girls, if he wants to text you, if he wants to see you, he will.

Don't go chasing this guy that is just making you feel and look like shit. Because I guarantee you, now, you will meet those people in your life. 100%. Well, we definitely said it in the last episode where we were talking about if a guy wants, if he wants to see you, if he's interested in you, he will make sure that you know that. and if he doesn't do that then there's a good chance that he's not interested there's plant and someone's gonna call me out on this because I'm the one who's in a relationship but there's plenty more fish in the sea guys there is plenty more emotionally unavailable fish in the sea

absolutely but you know what you'd rather be single than be dating one of them yeah true all right what else have you got on your little list one of my biggest things and I think that it's really I mean it goes for relationships it goes for life it goes for work is that failure and failure is something that we try to avoid at all costs, but it is one of the most important aspects of life because I think that from failure is where we do our biggest growth. And yes, it's an uncomfortable space to sit in for a little while, but life is not linear. It's not one step after another. Sometimes you have to sidestep and sometimes you have to do a little spin and go backwards four steps, you know, and don't pass go, don't collect $200. Sometimes life doesn't go in

the direction that you want it to. But I also think that that can be an amazing stroke of luck. I'm glad you mentioned failure because it's so high on my list as well. It's something I think is really important. And I think a lot of people get lost in the fact that failure is normal and it's a normal part of business relationships growing up life. I can always guarantee everybody's going to fail at something in their life. And I think that people often forget that every successful person that they know, if they go and ask them has failed at something. And I actually know how much you love a quote, Laura. I fucking love a quote. I have got a failure quote that I love. It is what defines us is how well we rise after falling. How many times you doesn't get back up.

Oh, it gets in me real good. Like, have you got something that you can relate to on that? Well, I think for starters, I mean, if I'm going to just then comment on your quote, I think that it's how you react to failure that is going to determine whether you take it as a lesson and you grow from it or you really let it fatally wound you. And I think from a business perspective, I have a bit of a story. So when I first started Tony May, I really didn't know what I was doing. Guys, just between you and me, I still don't really know what I'm doing half the time. But I knew I had this retail business. So I'd started and I knew I wanted to get into wholesaling. And so I got myself a sales agent and I did all the things I thought I needed to do in order to

start wholesaling my label. And because at the time I was so desperate to get my jewelry into boutiques, there was a few boutiques that had, they were very, very keen to stock it, but they wanted to go into 30 day terms. And I was like, okay, well, like that sounds reasonable. So I sent my stock to them. What does for people like me and other people, what does a 30 day term mean? So 30 day terms means, so you as a boutique, you receive the goods and then you have 30 days to pay on receiving the goods okay right so a lot of businesses who you may have long-standing relationships with may have that sort of contract in place normally if it's a business that you haven't done anything with in the past you would pay up front but because i really really really

wanted to have my stock in these boutiques and i really felt like they were doing me a favor almost by taking my stock on board i um i wanted to to bend over backwards to help them and to impress them. And so I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. 30 day terms. That's fine. So I supplied all the jewelry to these, to these stores. And then the 30 days came, I had sent my invoices. They didn't pay 60 days. They hadn't paid 90 days. They hadn't paid. And at this point in time, it was, it was so much money for me that it was enough for me to, to fold and to throw in the towel and be like, I, there's no point. I can't continue with this label, but yeah, massively. And this happened to us in the very first year that we started Tony May. And I lost almost $60,000, all of my savings.

And in your first year of business, I can imagine that is everything. Everything, everything that I had saved and put towards it. And there was a bit of a fork in the road where I had the option to stop or I thought, you know what, maybe I'll try direct retail and I'll try selling my products to customers directly. And I had the last little bit of money that I had I put towards opening a small retail space and that very easily could have been the end that could have been when I said this is too hard I've lost too much money it's never gonna work yeah I can't afford to lose more go through more stress absolutely and it was purely by by one luck and two by some other people's faith in me who really encouraged me to just give

it one more shot that I was like okay look I'll put a little bit more money in there but that was at a time where I think any normal person would have said, okay, I'm pulling the pin and I'm out now, but I'm so grateful that I used that lesson and was able to channel that complete failure into, okay, I'm not going to make those mistakes again. I'm going to be much better with how I invoice and how I take control of money for the business that that set me up to be able to have a business that's now my full income, my full bread and butter. It's my full livelihood. And you literally learned from it. A hundred percent.

You're like, okay, never, ever doing that again. never doing that again and i do think that from total failure comes some amazing lessons and that's how you can kind of grow from it yeah i like that thanks for sharing that you're so welcome i was really feeling for you then i'm like i just couldn't imagine putting your life savings into something and then the only reason it doesn't work is because other people are shit it's not that you like you necessarily failed i mean maybe you should have enforced contract signing or whatever isn't that a lesson for everything for relationships as well like you can't control other people you can't control the way that other people treat you or the way that they behave so

all you can do is control your reaction to the situation and I think if anything that like relates so much to relationships like you can't stop someone from breaking up with you you can't control if someone loves you or doesn't love you but you can control the way that you react to that failure or to that relationship falling apart and you can learn lessons that might set you up for a better relationship down the path yeah and what you just said then actually but um you can't make someone love you i really really love that like you cannot make them love you you cannot try and be someone else or live a different life or or live be the person that you think they want because that's prolonging that failure anyway if you're not meant to be

you're not meant to be you know what someone said to me i i used to think i've had the moment where i was like if i was skinnier maybe i'd be more attractive to people like i am guilty of that in my 20s for sure. Once this guy said to me, he was a rugby player and I was dating him for a little while. And he actually said, he actually said it to his teammates and his teammates told me that she, yeah, she's hot, but she'd be perfect if she lost five kilos. Oh, I just want to kill him. Yeah, that's what he said to his whole team. And his teammate told me, like had a bit of a laugh, but like, just so you know, like he said that to the whole team and I was mortified. And i was like this is why no one wants me because i need to lose five kilos and then i went on this

diet oh girl and it wasn't until i went you know what fuck you this is how i am i'm happy like this i'm healthy if you don't want me don't and it wasn't until i literally walked away from him being like i am happy in myself and i'm confident that he came chasing me and was like i'm so sorry like i want to he was like literally like i want to marry you you're perfect and it wasn't until i was like a big F you, I'm happy and confident. Oh, that just, I want to kill him. I know, I know. But also like yourself. And I think that this, this obviously goes for everyone, but your self worth is, should not, and is not tied up in somebody else's opinion of you. If somebody thinks that you need to lose weight or someone doesn't think that, you know, you've got the best

nose or the best butt or the best boobs, like fuck them. Their opinion is not your business and your self-worth and how you feel about the way you look and, and who you are as a person should not in any way be based on somebody else's opinions of you. In relation to the like lose five kilos point, I want to make a really, really, really important point. And that is love and cherish your body, how it is, as long as you're healthy and happy, and you know, you're treating yourself well, and you know, you're feeding yourself well, be happy because we spend and waste so much time and energy hating ourselves when you're younger but i i love that you brought this up and i think that um body image is such an important topic especially when you talk about

the person that you are in your 30s and what you would say to yourself in your 20s and when i was thinking about this as a as a concept i was like i spent my entire 20s wishing that i looked like somebody else as in like i wanted to be as hot as this person or as skinny as this person or i wanted to have hair like that person. And now that I'm in my thirties, I just wish I looked like I did in my twenties. Do you know what I mean? I'm like, I look at photos of myself when I was in my twenties and I think, God, I looked great then. I want to look like that. And I'm sure that when I'm in my forties, I'll be thinking, oh, I looked amazing when I was in my thirties. I wish I could just appreciate how I looked in my thirties.

100%. I remember thinking back to when I was like 23, 24. It's so dumb, but I remember thinking, oh my god i just need to lose more weight i need to be fitter i need to be healthy i need to be hotter i look back now and i was so unhappy with myself do you know what to the point that i wouldn't even wear a bikini i was wearing like one pieces they so it makes me mad at myself to think about now now i look back and i'm like oh damn i'd love to look like that and like you said i know one day when i'm 60 i'm gonna be like what was i worried about when i was 30 it's not from like being up yourself or vanity vanity not at all and I don't mean like that you know girlfriend if you don't look yourself in the mirror and be like I look good then all power to you but I think

that we can be very very critical of ourselves very critical of our body and very critical of the way that we look and it's only in retrospect that we look back and go oh I was skinnier than I thought I was I was prettier than I thought I was I do think that we just need to be in the moment are a hell of a lot kinder to ourselves. And yeah, you are your own worst enemy when it comes to stuff like that. Nobody else would look at that aspect of yourself, whatever it is that you don't like, and even think that it exists. As long as you are giving yourselves the right food and you're doing the right amount of exercise and you feel good and you feel happy, then just embrace it. Absolutely. I love it when we're so like Gandhi in this podcast.

Sometimes we go, yeah, we go full Gandhi. I hope you're enlightened, everyone. I feel like I've covered a lot of things that I would want to tell my younger self and our younger listeners we do have a lot of you hopefully you took something from that and our older listeners hopefully you had a laugh because you experienced the same thing that we did when we were younger also with this as well guys like I think that you need to go through it yourself you need to go through the trials and tribulations and make the shitty mistakes because that is where the growth comes from so it's one thing for us to sit here and say this is what we would tell ourselves but it's also nice just to kind of realize we all go through the same stuff

time guys for our favorite part of the episode and that is suck and sweet okay well you let me intro it you've got i know i know lesson learned everyone lesson learned you made the mistake but i want to who's gonna go first you're gonna ask me but i'm not ready i'm gonna ask you you know what your suck is yeah oh well look i mean i feel like my suck is is um obvious my suck is marley being very sick this week and the fact that she's still really sick that is definitely the suckiest of sucks and i just want my baby back yeah i get that i think that's a song i want my baby back ribs baby back baby that song okay we've totally lost the plot now guys it's very very late um my my sweet this week brit this is gonna make you feel happy my

sweet was that yesterday when we were having a really hard day and i was in bed with marley trying to comfort her and then i got a knock at the door and it was uber eats with anita ice cream because brit had gone on and ordered me uber eats to make me feel better and that was my goddamn sweet that was honestly on a day that was so shit that was one of the best things that could have happened thank you we thoroughly enjoyed our gelato and then we went back to hospital i sent you um just over a nose i just picked my three favorite flavors she picked chocolate chocolate extra chocolate and triple chip chocolate so much chocolate no to be fair one of them was like that kinder surprise no i think it was just chocolate well that maybe they stuffed

up but you know what it is I know that when I'm like having a really bad day that's what helps it was the best oh I was just like you know when people always ask like oh what can we do to help can we bring anything over and there's never really anything that you can do like in that situation there wasn't anything that anyone could do to help but it was so thoughtful and it genuinely was one of my highlights of the week that's my sweet you're my sweet all the feels I'm never anyone's sweet so I got the feels oh that was really sad I feel sad for you I don't believe that you're literally my sweet three quarters of the time that we do this so if I'm no one to you then I know where I stand Brittany I hope that's given you some time to think about

it what is your suck I think my suck for the week is probably just having that extra accidentally unfiltered moment where I was you know on the date with a guy and I screenshotted our photos of us together and sent it to another guy who i didn't know i love how confusing that just sounded it's so convoluted my love life but it makes sense in my brain but it's because you need an excel spreadsheet we need to get you a google doc so that you actually know who you're dating and what time you're going on these dates and who these dates are with that's why you keep making mistakes because your dating life is a mess but you know i don't even know how to use a spreadsheet yeah i know so i'll create you a google doc and we'll have britney's dates and we can update it each

week specifically for the podcast content babe what was your sweet i can't wait to fall in love can somebody get pretty back on another reality tv show stat oh can you please i know that um i know that a lot of you have written in saying you never want me to fall in love i find that really nasty but no jokes um my sweet was probably i actually just had the most amazing uh i think it was five course lunch at chiswick and they do like this wine pairing for each meal and it's garden it's like the most straight from the garden to table there's so much wine and cocktails and i had it with a few girlfriends um one of them was supposed to be you laura but you couldn't make it i know i literally sitting here whilst you're telling me that this was your sweet

like with my toes curling under the table i'm like this is my sock as well i know i'm sorry because you were supposed to be there but it actually was such a beautiful beautiful lunch and um yeah i was just chuffed with it well i'm glad that you had such a nice time without me imagine how good it would have been if you were there but we are going out soon for our celebration of 500 000 downloads guys we made half a million downloads how we still are like i'm sorry who what what's going on here you guys have been listening to these episodes you've been loving these episodes we are loving your feedback we are loving you writing in and giving us your questions for ask uncut also the fact that you even trust us for our unqualified advice blows

my mind in the best way possible we actually read every single review that you guys leave us on the apple podcast app um and let me just check laura all i wanted to do was hit the 2000 reviews and we are at 1,979 so you do the math that's 21 more is that right yeah it's 21 it's 21 and Britt's basically begging 21 of you to leave positive reviews because you know when you just set yourself something I'm like cool I'm gonna set myself I want us to hit 2,000 reviews it's just like the number I put in my head a long time ago and now we're so close I'm like can 21 of you just go and do it so that I can sleep easy just go and do it so you don't have to listen to Britt bang on about this at the end of every single episode guys thank you so much to everyone who

as we said who do who do write in who ask us questions for ask uncut we do have an episode this week we're really really sorry that last week's episode didn't go ahead uh you know life hey but we'll be back to our normal programming this week and we will have an ask uncut episode for you coming out red hot and ready on thursday so thanks for listening guys we will see you soon you know the drill by now hit five stars subscribe listen tell your friends tell your mom and your grandma your grandma probably would like it actually i think grandma will have a heart attack and share the love guys because we love love We'll be right back.