Life Uncut - BONUS EP The man that tamed Brittany. Jordan Thompson UNCUT. 🐧 ❤️

Episode Date: November 9, 2021

Lifers this has been a bloody long time coming, and we don't just mean this episode, we also mean the fact that for the first time in the best part of a decade Brittany got a boyfriend. Yep, for once she didn't run.Almost a year into the relationship now (because she had to be sure you know - can't rush into these things) and it is finally time to introduce you properly to the man (aka penguin) that tamed the commitment-phobe wild beast was Britt.Jordan is an Australia professional tennis player with a career high of 43 in the world. These two young lovers have had a wild first year together and you guys have been asking for this episode for a long time! So we put it in your hands and asked what you wanted to know about him, their relationship, their age gap and his tennis career. There is also a spicy "would you rather" that made Jordan blush. ☺️Note from Britt: Lifers! Enjoy getting to know Jordan and I hope to give you just a little insight into our life and why I love him so damn much. He's the best 🐧If you loved the ep, please leave a review, hit 5 stars and subscribe. Join the facebook discussion group - Life uncut podcast discussion group - and follow us on the gram @lifeuncutpodcastAnd remember to share the love, because, well, we love love xSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Brittany and you're thinking this is Wednesday what is happening we have a really really exciting bonus episode for you today now I am flying solo today Laura is not here but I guess it's not really solo because I do have a guest on I have done an interview and it has come very highly requested by you lot for the better part of a year today we are speaking to the love of my life the love of my current life can I put a disclaimer no the love of my life Jordan Thompson you guys have wanted to get to know Jordan you've wanted this episode for quite a long time I guess since I really started to openly speak about him and I feel like that's I mean he's a big part of my life

I do talk about some aspects of him he's very private on his social media so I guess he is pretty hard to get to know you hear from Matty J a lot obviously Matt comes on in and he does this thing on the podcast you know all about him and I can completely understand why you want to get to know Jordan so we put some questions out to you guys we asked you what you want to know all of these questions and all of this chat has come from you guys these are questions that you want to know none of this has come from me but we had a lot of fun recording it we had a few little arguments along the way which is pretty standard but yeah first and foremost Jordan is an athlete he's not a podcaster he is not a radio host but he did jump on board to support me in

this so you guys can get to know him and I hope you get to see another part of him I hope you get to see why he is the love of my life and why I love him so much. He's very important to me and I can say this now because he's not currently listening to this intro and I doubt he's going to listen to this episode back because he hates listening to himself but it is very important to me and I hope you guys get to see a different side of him and without further ado let's get into the chat. Today we are speaking to tennis player Jordan Thompson. Jordan you have a career high of world number 43 and you are currently ranked number three in australia you're an olympian you have made the fourth round of the us open third round of wimbledon third round of

french open and you've beat the likes of andy murray but by far your greatest achievement well in my books anyway is being my boyfriend is this a wrap on you or a wrap on me i crack myself up jordan it's a long time coming you have been requested by many of our listeners to come on the podcast. Welcome to Life Uncut. Thank you. I didn't think I would ever be here but here we are and thanks for having me. Why didn't you think you'd ever be here? Dating, podcast, probably not my thing. Also because you don't listen to the podcast maybe? Don't listen to the podcast and I don't think I've ever been on one so here we are. So I've said a few times on the podcast that you don't listen to any of our episodes and people don't believe me. I've had a lot of listeners

writing saying as if he doesn't listen to your podcast can you tell everyone if you have listened to anything and what it has been and why yeah i haven't listened to the podcast simply because before i met you you were a virgin and of course i don't need to hear about anything else yeah that's why in my head the less i know the better i sleep so i have no dating history in your head zero absolutely zero and why did you come on the podcast today because you dragged me on it okay cute love that you love that you're on a straight up well jordan because you don't listen to the podcast you would have no idea how things are done we do a segment at the start of every podcast we do it with every guest it's called accidentally unfiltered now accidentally unfiltered is

essentially your most embarrassing moment you tell us we basically laugh at you not with you do you have an embarrassing moment and i'm sorry to just spring this on you i probably should have pre-warned you yeah thanks for the warning we've been together for how long now you should know by now most embarrassing or apart from thinking that your stretch marks on your leg was an injury oh my god if anyone's new to the podcast and you haven't heard that episode I have actually told that story before when Jordan and I first got together we were in a hotel room and I was laying on my back on a lounge reading a book i had a little denim shorts on jordan came over the top over the back of the couch to lean over and give me a kiss and just say hello and then with this

really serious look on his face he like touched the inside of my thigh looked up at me and he's like babe what's that i was like sorry he's like what happened are you okay and i was like what what are you talking about he's like here this these these cuts and i was like jeannie what are you're talking about they're my stretch marks yeah thanks for that made me feel really good just laughing in my face and i thought something serious had happened i just loved the concern it was very cute did you have another embarrassing moment like a real one uh yeah it was going on by the way i don't like to hear about any of your dating stories and i hate talking about my own but i guess if it's protocol on life uncut i'd better do it it is 100 protocol everyone has to do it i

was on a first not really a first date i knew who i was going out with we knew each other but we organized to meet at this hotel didn't have a hotel what was this first date well i don't know where i was no we go straight to the hotel my god i would never use that saying what pound town yes that one you're too much of a gentleman that's why you took your first date to a hotel wasn't a hotel i was just meeting her at a hotel because i didn't know anywhere in town and that's where i was and i guess it was the easiest place to find so i was waiting in the hotel and i bought a coke just so i could get the wi-fi to let her know where i was and she came and met me i had my runners on they were really bold they had zero grip and the idiot that i am there were stairs

and a ramp and i decided to take the ramp why would you do that were you injured no just the ramp was closer and i decided to go down it and sure enough i slid down and it was probably the stair there was probably about two or three stairs so that's how long the ramp was and i slipped on my ass and she was just looking at me and she kind of laughed and i'm thinking she laughed out of right she laughed out of sympathy oh thinking great this is going really well so you actually on your butt? I was on my butt looking up thinking my god I hope you didn't see that and I tried to get back up. What before she saw you? Yeah but she was already looking at me so I was screwed. I was a little bit embarrassed. Was that the first and only date? No funnily enough we ended up going out

for you know nearly three years. What? How do I not know about this? Because I don't need to talk about anything in my past because you weren't there it didn't happen. How many secret relationships to be had that i don't know about not a secret you just weren't there that's true imagine if i was there all right we'll talk about that off air so let's just start from the beginning we we put the questions out to you guys you guys have been asking jordan to come on for a long time for some reason you guys have an interest in him i can't work out why but he's finally agreed to come on and you've written a bunch of questions that you wanted to ask him or you wanted to know about so we've written a bunch down we're going to go through them as best as possible now look jordan

isn't a podcaster. We've never done this before. I can make no promises about the quality or the content in this episode. I'm putting the disclaimer at the start of an episode. It is purely a bonus episode. Jordan, do you think you can bring the goods today? Of course I'll bring the goods. Okay. Let's start from the beginning then. You guys want to know, Jordan, can you give us your quick version of how you and Brit first met and who made the first move? Quick version of how we met well you realize the problem is right this is my platform so i talk about this all the time and i give whatever stories i want so no one's heard your that doesn't make it true that's exactly right that's why people want to know how much i've embellished i can come out i can come on this

podcast and just completely out you and know that you tell everybody that you're full of shit you can throw me under a bus if you want but i'm sure i get thrown under a couple just think of the repercussions later on so your version my version yes we matched on raya i sent the first message and it was very smooth. It wasn't really smooth. What did you say in European? I said, hey, how are you? Or, hey, what's happening?

I'm pretty sure it was, I think you just said, hey. I definitely did not just say, hey. I definitely asked a follow-up question. Okay, I'll investigate that and get back to you. I could probably still find it. Oh, you still got Raya on your phone.

That's good. Yeah, I still date on the weekends. Sick. I will admit I'm not smooth at all. Anybody that knows me will verify that. but I did give you the option of finding your own restaurant no I asked you if you wanted to go out to dinner and you said yes of course I mean why wouldn't you obviously yes threw myself at you online absolutely and Channing Tatum and said no to me a few times you see so well you said no to

me three times so persistence is key and then I said uh you know where would you like to go what are your favorite cuisines and you ended up giving me a list and it was pretty easy I just got to pick from the list but you actually I'm just going to jump in there you actually said to me I have no idea are there a list of restaurants you want to try and I had to write to you I wrote you a list of like six restaurants or something and you were like cool I handed them to you on a platter and all you had to do was make the phone calls yeah that's smart for me isn't it it is but you know I don't advise it well it's like you and your partner can't decide on where to go to dinner so the the guy says where where do you think we're going anyway so I booked us in

at a restaurant that you suggested, of course, I called up. There was only one spot left and there were only two hour windows at the restaurant during COVID. We hit it off and we stayed for six hours until we got kicked out of the restaurant because we were having such a great time. That is true. It was a six hour date. I think it was maybe midnight. Next question is who kissed whom first? I would love to say it was me, but you know, you're saying that you want a man who takes control but i'm a gentleman i don't want to put you under any pressure so i asked you where would you like to go for dinner what time so i let you make the decisions on that and i was just happy to you know meet you there i'm not going to pick you up on a first date and you were late to

the date just add that in as well well you did say you were working and i'm like i was at a at a pub down the road and you said i'm just leaving now and i'm thinking holy moly you are going to be so late so i thought i'd have another drink and watch a little bit more tv i was nervous i needed a few more drinks were you nervous of course i was nervous i get more nervous i got more nervous going on the first date with you than i do playing a tennis match you were just gonna say i get more nervous on dates than tennis matches is that still currently you're still going on dates oh yeah heaps heaps yeah i definitely kiss you unfortunately yeah actually i don't know if you were a pussy slash super super shy or you would just be a gentleman once knowing you I think you were just

really shy we were standing out the front I had had a great date I was a few wines deep like we said it was six hours it was like the equivalent of three mini dates and I was like I really want to kiss this guy because I've had such a great date didn't know when I was going to see him again and I was trying to give him all the hints that I could and it just wasn't working then I was like okay well here comes my taxi you know I've only got a minute left giving him everything handing hit him on a platter he's like okay cool well like I had a great night I'm like same just a bit awkwardly and I was like fuck man I was like okay I was like look the taxi's here in one minute can I kiss you or is that okay I literally just had to ask him if it was okay and he's like yeah okay

and then I gave you the best kiss of your life I'm 100% glad that you did because I still think about it all the time and I'm glad that's the way I went down what do you mean you think about it i always think about our first kiss i also remember going home and thinking i wish i had done that earlier because i really enjoyed it what asked me out earlier kissing you earlier i asked you out earlier but you're such a busy woman that you didn't have any time for me yeah and also i didn't think you were going to be anything i just thought you're going to be like a summer shag or something wow okay that's why i don't listen to the podcast i don't need to know what were your first impressions of each other first impressions uh i remember walking

through up the stairs to the date at the restaurant and thought wow this girl is really hot didn't you think that i was someone else first oh that's true yes when i i walked into the restaurant and i was a few minutes late yeah i was there first waiting well you did say that you were on your way from bondi and there was only about 15 minutes to get to the city so i'm thinking she's going to be late for sure so i was just at a pub around the corner and then you said i'm there so i ran up the biggest flight of stairs in my life i was like shit i'm gonna be sweaty stinky and out of breath by the time we get there i walked through the door and you said that you're sitting down but you didn't say where and i've never been to this place before and there was

a girl with brunette hair facing the bar so i couldn't see her face and i nearly went up and said uh hey or hi or whatever and she turned around opening line yeah look not smooth yeah She turned around and I thought, wow, I've been catfished because this looks nothing like the photos. But then realised that one of the waiters or waitresses came over and said, oh, your table is up the stairs. Then I was like, thank God. Saved by the bell.

Anyway, we fell head over heels in like three days. And speaking of head over heels, who said love you first? That's a technicality. It is a technicality, but I still think you did. well you gave me the green light because you had it down in written form so that made me feel a lot more comfortable so i'm gonna go with you even though the words actually came out of my mouth but you're still going with me you still think i said it first well you had it written down on your phone but it came out of my mouth first okay we'll explain this technicality long story

short it had been about only five weeks we were away in canberra jordan was training for the australian open and i had been we've been spending every single day together basically since we met i was messaging a friend of mine that morning a guy friend and we were just chatting and he said how are things going um you've been seeing a lot of this guy do you think it's something serious now my friend knows i haven't been with anyone in the best part of a decade and i took a photo of jordan sleeping we're in bed i took a photo of him sleeping creeper because jordan looks so peaceful he's got these beautiful eyelashes and i sent it to my friend and i said i just love him so much later that day Jordan asked me to show him something on the phone I opened the

phone and it was in that text message and basically he saw the text message looked at me there's this moment of silence we didn't say anything because his friends arrived so he had seen that I had said to someone else that I loved him so I didn't say it to Jordan it was in a text message I also asked you what was there because you got out of your phone so quickly and I saw a video of me or a photo of me sleeping I'm like what is that and then I panicked you know when you've taken a photo of someone and then you go to show them something else in the phone it's like when you screenshot something for you screenshot someone and then like a work colleague or something and then you go to show them something in your phone and they see the photo that's what

happened and I flipped I was like holy fuck this guy thinks I'm a psycho he's just seen a photo of himself in my of him sleeping in my phone so I had to show him because he was like creeping out he was like just show me and I was like I'm not going to show you it's nothing and he's like I saw what's in your phone you're either hiding something from me there's something you don't want to tell me and he was getting a bit like you know are you seeing someone else is there something weird going on i wasn't thinking that i was thinking why have you got a sleeping video of me on your phone i think that is strange anyway that's how that story came about i had to show him and then later that night he knew i was never going to say it so he took the wool by

the horns and you said i love you so ultimately you said it first great glad we established that Okay, I'm not even going to say it. Okay, I said it first. Okay, what were your expectations versus realities of each other from when you met online to when you actually met in person and got to know each other? Well, I'll start this one. I actually didn't even answer the last one there.

What were my first impressions of you? In all honesty, my first impressions when you walked in, I was like, oh, he's hotter than the photos. That's what I thought. Am I not photogenic? and you well no but you had a classic males well not even classic males because a lot of males are really up themselves you just had a profile of someone that i could tell didn't have an online presence it didn't care about having an online presence and was really low-key you didn't care

about what photos you put up they were pretty now that i know you like they were not your great you didn't put your best face forward 100 not that they were bad but when you walked in i was like wow he's actually way better looking in real life than the photos and I didn't think he looked as young I was worried because there's obviously a seven year age gap I was like oh I'm gonna look so old this guy's gonna be so young but you actually probably look older than me no offense with your beard and your shaggy hair I agree with that you definitely look younger than me so expectations versus realities I definitely thought and the reason I didn't match you the reason I said no to you three or four times online before we matched is because in my head I saw that

you were only 26 years old you're a professional athlete you're constantly traveling I was like this guy's just going to be a young player like there's going to be a little playboy he's not going to be interested in a relationship he's not going to be serious he's going to be immature because he's 26 and the reality of that was I could not be further from the truth after the six-hour date and now that i know you literally could not be more opposite you're the most loyal person i have no doubt that you would ever do the wrong thing by me i mean yes you're pretty immature sometimes a lot of like farting and laughing whoa just to clarify here who dropped the first bomb the other day and it nearly killed me yeah my first one oh my god it could have

killed a brown dog my first one my first one it was an accident i didn't know it was like a sleep Slippery little sucker that just slipped out when I wasn't expecting it Well, I walked over to the kitchen bench I didn't even take a whiff I just walked over and I literally said to you What the fuck is that? I was like, a skunk died in the trash can It was worse than that

Anyway, it was my first bomb Had to get the house fumigated You're a lot more mature and you're a lot sweeter than I thought you would be well my expectations versus reality of you is i thought and i actually thought this i thought you were cool and now that i know you hang on a minute what do you mean you thought i am cool cool with a k cool yeah exactly people who think they're cool they say that people that say nerd burger and volcano are not cool well i'm gonna disagree with you there you're a loser and you know i am okay is that all is that the only expectation best reality you thought i was cool

but i'm not well luckily i didn't really know anything before we met because i never watch reality tv and i didn't know that you're on the bachelor the two shows until i was playing golf one day and i got a message from you and my mate's like who was that and i said oh it's just this girl that i've been talking to for a little while and he goes oh what's her name and i said it was your name he said show me a photo and he goes oh no way i watched her get dumped on the bachelor he goes i watched her season on the bachelor and i was like what and he goes yeah he uh she was on the the season with the honey badger i'm like oh great in my head nothing's ever happened before you're a virgin and that's the way i like to think about things so you didn't even know that i was on

the bachelor zero idea would you have still matched with me if you had known i was on the bachelor there's a question you can be honest yeah i don't know i'm not a massive fan of reality tv so you possibly would have judged a book by its cover and said oh she's been on reality tv i don't want to borrow it it's impossible to say because i'm glad that we matched because i got to know you before any well actually didn't look up any of the stuff so i think that's good for me in my head you got to know me in real life before knowing the tv version yes and i never will watch the tv version actually you could probably watch some episodes where like we're just having fun and we're not on dates and stuff like that i'm good thank you okay great did people on your end this

is a good question obviously jordan and i we met we only went on a few dates and then basically unofficially started living together i think because we knew we were on this really tight time frame we knew jordan was going to go overseas indefinitely we didn't know if i'd ever be able to see him we didn't know each other well enough to know if we wanted to do long distance yeah we We didn't know if we wanted to commit yet. So we decided spending every single day together. Did people judge you in your life for moving so quickly with someone? Not at all.

Because I don't think you ever. I think you spent every single night at my house for months. Yes, I wouldn't call it moving in because I would go home every single day and pack a bag and come over to your place, even though I was grinding through three hours of traffic a day. No biggie. Irrelevant. Yes, we love what you did for me.

no one judged me quickly but my mum when i came down the stairs for probably i don't know the fourth week in a row she said are you going to britney's and i said yeah and she goes are you going to start paying rent there i was like maybe i should i've been there a lot yeah look i have a tally for how much you owe me do you guys have nicknames for each other oh no don't tell everyone what mine is it's the best nickname in the world what more could you possibly want than being called stinky or say the long version of what you call me tell everyone what you actually call me stinky butt and stinky pig yeah that's my favorite i get stinky stinky butt and stinky pig they're my three nicknames would you believe no i call you cutie the majority of the time that's the first

one i ever gave you it was cutie it's not very original but it's stuck and it was actually kind of like a name not just saying you're cute or you're a cutie is actually your name has now become cutie yeah and i love that and then all of a sudden stinky pig started to come in and i don't know where they came from well i was watching toy story 2 on the plane for the 500th time and one of the characters name was stinky pete and you were sitting next to me and i decided to call you stinky pete and you didn't like that so i called you stinky butt and you didn't really like that so i just stuck with stinky oh i didn't like that funny that hey i very fondly refer to you on my Instagram and on the podcast occasionally as slowy and I absolutely love that because you

absolutely hate it slowy because you're you are so fast on the court honestly and when you do sports when you run it's ridiculous you like you've never seen anything like it's like a lightning bolt but in real life in every other aspect of his life you were the slowest like most painfully slow human i cannot stress enough you eat slowly you think slowly you wake up in the morning slowly you walk slowly everything is so slow why would you want to be in a rush well it's not about being in a rush it's about moving at a normal pace it is a normal pace it's my normal but other than slowy i also call him stinky and that's about it oh so it's not fair for me to call you stinky but it's okay never mind we're gonna get into some tennis questions now because you guys had a bunch

of tennis questions about jordan's career etc and what it's like to date a tennis player and then we'll get back into some more personal questions after that so jordan or should i say stinky butt slowy take us back to the beginning what was it like for you in the early days how did you get into tennis how did you become a professional tennis player what age did you start playing did you always want to be a tennis player i think i always wanted to be a tennis player i think my dad and my mom ingrained it into me as they both played tennis my dad's a tennis coach always had rackets out the back and I had a wall to hit against and I was out there for hours and hours since I was a little kid as I got older I started to hit with my dad a little bit more

I eventually asked to get coached around you know 10 and hoping that my dad would give me lessons and yeah he gave me lessons and I never looked back I went to nationals when I was either 10 or 12 but my first overseas trip was when I was 10 and so you only started playing at 10 and then went to nationals at 10 are you just a freak no I mean I was already playing tennis before that but they don't start tournaments proper tournaments until you're about 10 or 12 and I always wanted to play I didn't know how good I would be I just wanted to compete it's my favorite thing in the world to do no matter what it is yeah and then when I was 12 I think I got selected to go to New Zealand and you know play a trans Tasman match so it was Australia versus New Zealand

I think when I was 13 I got selected to go to Europe and I went to Europe for maybe 12 to 14 weeks just with two other players and a coach so yeah I've been traveling the world since since then really so at 13 you were traveling alone do your parents go with you uh no it was just like later yeah pretty much it didn't really phase me but I always wanted to keep doing it because I just loved playing and competing and I always wanted to play tennis. Didn't really enjoy the travel later on. Really, really don't like flying and spending so many hours on a plane where you got nothing to do but sleep. And what do you think about traveling now? Not much. Like what is the worst part about being a tennis player now? Different bed, different surroundings every

single week. I really dislike the grind of traveling, whether it be flying, catching a train catching a bus being on time all the time I mean if you're late you're going to miss your flight or your train or you're not going to get to the next place and that affects every single thing for the next week whether it be practice preparation it can affect your matches as well because you're not you don't feel like you're prepared look I heard a sneaky rumor I can't quite remember where I heard it from here we go did it come from you it came from a friend of a friend of mine's dog i heard of not i heard a rumor that tennis players are quite selfish they're actually quite selfish athletes unbelievably again i don't know where i heard that from but

what do you think about that rumor you heard right we are straight up admit it we are incredibly selfish but it's because we are an individual sport and no one does anything for us at the early stages a tennis player books his own room books his own travel books his own practice sometimes early on in players careers they don't have enough money to spend on a coach so it's just them by themselves so they literally have to do everything for themselves and they don't get the help of anyone else so we just do it all on our own so then when someone asks us for something or they expect you know whether it be a partner or you know just a friend and it could be the most simple of things like going to the supermarket and just getting your own things and the other

person that you're traveling with oh did you get me this of course not fuck you go get your own shit and that's i'm from experience that did happen many times oh like when i feel like at the start it's not no i don't think selfish is the right word i think maybe inconsiderate but that's literally that's not a personal thing it's just that you like you just said you haven't actually had to consider anyone else before so i think selfish is the wrong word well no one considers us so why would we consider them that's I think that's what our thinking is and people think that we are so selfish but it's a selfish sport so it comes with the nature yeah I feel like it's taken you a while to sort of learn how to relationship properly and what that's oh really

and what's involved in that yes really yes for people who can't see I'm giving Brit my best death stare but I don't really have one no I do I think there's a lot of times at the start and like you just said you'd go to get something for yourself and you'd come back and I'd be like oh oh hey like did you get me one of those as well you're like oh no and that was it in a conversation you can go get it yourself i don't think that happens too often no not anymore but i'm saying in the early days it took you i probably wouldn't have even noticed you are actually way better now but it did definitely take you a long time i guess that's the same reason that you guys are stubborn as well isn't it because one of my pet peeves about you is you are so stubborn there is it's

your way or the highway all the time even if you know i'm right like you would never admit if i was right i will admit when you're right you're just never right no we are pretty stubborn as well it comes into selfish and stubbornness go hand in hand with tennis players just because we are our own bosses and no one else is going to tell us what to do and except for now i'm your boss now yeah and you tell me what to do and i hate it yeah that's because no one ever tells me what to do because I don't have teammates or anybody else around. What has been your best, almost favourite win and why? Your favourite match.

Favourite win for sure is when I beat Andy Murray at Queen's Club where he'd won I think maybe four or five times. It's like playing in his backyard. There were I think 10,000 people there that day and it was a hot summer's day in London. And I couldn't have played any better. I don't think he could have played any worse probably. but yeah i'll remember that for um for the rest of my life i beat a world number one on probably

one of his best surfaces well it is his best surface i think and yeah i think not many players get the chance to play a world number one and to play a world number one and beat him um yeah that'll forever be in my memory do you remember what he said to you at the end of the match not really i can remember shaking hands and i said i think he said well done and good luck he didn't seem too angry as i'm sure he would have been fuming but he was really good he was gracious in defeat i've practiced with him ever since then and i've never brought it up once and i never would but well you're not going to be like hey mate how you going remember that time i beat you absolutely not but sometimes players always talk about you know when they played each other

and they remember certain shots remember certain points but i would never ever bring it up to him in fact he was my favorite player one of my favorite players growing up so even now when i'm watching him play i'm still going for him like you know i'm a little kid watching the tv hoping that he would win so why wouldn't you bring it up to him is it just because you think that it's just a respect thing i mean i beat him once but he was the world number one he's won grand slams i'd much rather have his career than mine i think that he is a much better tennis player than me but on one day of the year i happen to beat him but doesn't mean that i'm a better tennis player than him that's it's i think it's just a respect thing has it made a difference to

your game having brit over here has it made a difference do you think good that i'm sitting in the grandstand with my sparkly glitter sign it makes a difference that you're sitting in the crowd but minus the sign every time i'm like a really i'm pretty vocal i'm a really big cheerer and every after every match i say to jordan could you hear me cheering he's always like you're the only thing i could hear it's hard to miss your voice it travels a mile it's deafening you can always hear you and of course it's made a difference i hadn't won back-to-back matches since Britt got here and funnily enough at the start of the year it was the first time I won back-to-back matches and Britt was there also so she's definitely my lucky charm oh we might take

that grab and put it as our advertiser for this episode Jordan a lot of people want to know you get so angry and fiery and you smash rackets and you yell and you scream and you hit balls out of the court you have that little anger streak inside of you and then it looks like you're very placid and calm off the court talk us through that because i want to know about this anger as well because you are not an angry person pretty angry on the court sometimes it's just because i have such high expectations of myself on a tennis court and i'm a little bit of a perfectionist so i want the best for myself and i don't really tolerate anything less than that which is so silly but maybe that's why i've succeeded playing tennis so far and i hope to keep it up so what you're

to say is you're going to continue to be angry and smash rackets i'll try my best not to but usually it doesn't work out too well also when i feel like i'm not getting angry or getting a little bit fiery it feels like i'm not trying i definitely don't want to feel like that on the court because i'm so competitive and if i feel like i'm not trying i might as well give up would you ever shave your mo even if brit begged you definitely not i have begged him i i begged him every day do you know Jordan completely catfished me when we met when he came in the door for the first few months from like the first moment I met him he had this beautiful beard and Jordan has luscious hair he's got this beautiful thick hair thick eyelashes thick beard and I'm into

beards like it's my it's my jam so I was like this is heaven for the first few months then one day I came home and I walked in the door and he was clean shaven with his big dirty mo I was like what is on your face like have you lost a hideous bit and he's like no this is me this is what i do all year it's just that i've been in off season and i've got a beard and from that was the day i start i was like please please grow your beard back please shave your mustache i will absolutely do anything for you and you you did it once you tried one match for me in the early days they were the days where you actually were still trying to win me over so you were doing things to try and please me those days so far gone but you did one match with it for me and then you've never done

it again yeah because how did the match go yeah but you lose all the time with a mo as well doesn't work like that yeah but i also win matches and i'm zero and one with the beard so you do the math okay so here's a question oh no would you rather we love would you rather would you very mature game yeah i'm gonna think of this right now how old are you too old for you would you rather have that mustache yep mustache on your face the rest of your life question answered or never

ever get a blowjob again whoa so you you can keep your my mum listens to this show does she hey Karen

I think so block your ears I mean your mum's had sex and she knows you have sex oh whoa whoa how do you think no she hasn't how do you think

you were brought into this world I just occurred you think everyone you just occurred spontaneous combustion yes you spontaneously combusted out of your

mother's vagina yeah stop I might have to wrap it here wrap it up here wrap it here yeah wrap it here well

I think maybe your dad should have wrapped it Jesus Christ no would you rather let's get back on track no no no we're off track

we're so far off it's been derailed have a moustache every day for the rest of your life and never get a blowjob moustache or you can have

your beard but you can still get a blowjob moustache sorry mum you would rather really you'd rather keep

that dirty slug calling it there oh there you go you have it there first people he's never getting a boat okay moving on to the age gap now this was a really common question we got a lot of these questions there is a seven year age gap so there is seven years between us we met at 26 and 33 we're now yeah is that right yeah we're 26 and 34 as of yesterday so a lot of you want to know yeah is that a problem was it ever on either of our minds when we first met and what are the main considerations or the main worries so what did you think when you first matched me and you were like oh she's seven years older than me did it bother you at all didn't bother me at all i was actually

quite looking forward to the date older woman hopefully less i don't know what to call it maybe games maybe more life experience therefore they would have less bullshit i know that sounds bad but it's true yeah but i mean it is true i think life experience does a lot and young people can have life experience too but i mean i feel like you're guaranteed life experience when you're older a little bit more mature of course i also needed someone that isn't dependent on me a lot i'm not around a lot so i don't want like i can't really have a needy person i need someone who's comfortable with who they are and confident who they are i guess i got the short straw what with me the short straw absolutely not no you everything that i could have asked for and has anyone was it

a problem with anyone in your life i don't think so no one's had a problem with it no one said anything i hope they would say anything obviously there are other things to think about in age gaps whether the person wants to have a family they want to get married stuff like that is obviously going to be a factor in moving forward but luckily i think we're in the same place and we have the same thoughts on things you're a career-driven woman i'm career-driven obviously that's why we're here overseas a lot podcasting yeah i didn't think i'd be here doing podcasting in america i thought i was playing tennis your career is really thriving whatever pays the bills yeah your career is thriving how much am i getting paid for this by the way i'll pay you later oh

thanks well obviously not in what you said because i've still got a mustache on my face no more blowjobs wow we'll start to become like Laura and Matt sorry Maddie I would say the same thing I would lie if I said it didn't ever bother me at the start it worried me a little bit because I am an older woman I'm 34 now I know what comes with age and in things like obviously my main thought was firstly he's not going to be ready for a relationship he's going to be really immature secondly I thought I'm going to have to think about kids soon and whether I want to or not and we've spoken about this on the fertility episode we unfortunately have time restraints as women and we can do things like freezing our eggs which I obviously did I did that the day that

I met Jordan actually I'd given up on everything I'd given up hope and I was like I'm never going to meet the right person I've just got to start to take control of my own life finally booked in my appointment and I met Jordan that night so whether that was the universe saying you know here I'll bide some time for a little bit or giving me some hope I don't know but kids is definitely something you have to think about at the moment in all honesty we're in a bit of a predicament because i don't have that long until i should start thinking about it like and when i say that long a few years we are still years away but in jordan's head he's nowhere nowhere nowhere near ready so that is definitely an area of contention it's definitely something that we

have to work through together i'm not ready to lose my sleep all my life yeah he's heard too much about what happens with matt and laura too he's like nah look this is contraception at its finest doesn't sound like heaven to me so yeah there are definitely things to think about in that sense but i think if you meet the right person there's always going to be a compromise and one of us is going to have to make a compromise at some point we're just not sure in what capacity this was a good one what are your top three most annoying things about each other oh my god where do i begin oh is the list that long you can guess what the first one is and drives me fucking insane what oh i think you know what the toothpaste oh you are a toothpaste

menace it is a joke how bad you are with that it is not only in the sink when in massive chunks it's on the bench it's on the mirror it's in the cabinets in the shower it's on the shower curtain it's crusted all at the top because you you squeeze the shit out of it no you don't push from the bottom you squeeze the top of it and it just crusts and it's all sticky and crap at the top and oh sometimes i swear i was on the roof one day i do have a problem with the toothpaste one thing that really really bothers me is i don't share food no you do not share food yes well that bothers me jordan doesn't share food jordan speaks in the third person i'm like joey from friends joey doesn't share food i don't share food we could have the same thing let's say a packet of

chips and they're both the same flavor and i'm sitting here and you're sitting there you will put your chip packet down come sit next to me and eat my chips well i might do mine taste better yes they're the exact same every woman knows that her partner's chips or her partner's food tastes better even if they're exactly the same everyone knows that every dinner it's nearly every meal or anything that i'm eating mine's better and you've got to have it okay so annoys you and you know what it really annoys me that you don't share food either because i'm a sharer i want to order some food i want to taste everything on the table sheridan and i have traveled the world together we always order multiple dishes and we share everything i expect

the same in a relationship because i think if you don't share food in a relationship it speaks volumes about the person you are in your life that's fair but how many times do you offer me food all the time every single time yes and how often do i take it never irrelevant never never take any even if you could shove it in my face trying to force it down my throat i won't eat it Yeah, but it's the thought that counts. And, like, I think you're on your own on this one. I think everyone will agree. Yeah, that's fair enough.

If I offer you my food, if I say, hey, cutie, do you want to taste mine? I say no, of course, every time. The response is, no, thank you. Do you want to taste mine? And it never comes. Well, luckily, I'm not normal. Okay, what's the third most annoying thing? You're doing it right now.

You've been doing it the whole time. You can never, ever sit still. we could be watching a movie we could be sitting in the car you will not stop moving you'll be tapping your leg scratching something or rubbing something ticking your legs over unbelievable i'm a proper fidget i'm trying to watch a movie and my whole body's just moving i feel like i'm watching it in 3d because my head's just moving everywhere yeah i'm trying to give you surround sound i'm trying to give you all the feelings it's like an interactive experience with me you even get the the massage gun and you'll sit on top of me so i'll start vibrating as well surely you can go

over there and do it yourself yeah it's called foreplay okay wow cool so heaps of stuff annoys you what are you and what annoys me about you you're actually look you're actually not that much of an annoying human if i'm being honest one thing that really drives me insane actually is how literal you are you are the most literal person that i have ever met if jordan says what's the time and it's 6 58 i say it's seven o'clock because i feel like most people would say that with you know 120 seconds to go he will then look at his phone and if it's almost like a test now if i haven't said to the minute what the time is he'll crack it he's like it's 6 58 and i'm like yeah love that seven o'clock i'm not a simpleton let me explain why i'm like that it's because

in tennis you get an hour time slot at tournaments to practice so if you tell me what you do a lot it could be 6 54 and i'll say and i'm waiting for my practice so other people are on the court i'll say what's the time and you'll say it's on the hour it's seven o'clock then i walk on the court i look like an idiot and i'm also robbing them of their practice time that's why it drives me nuts that's great love but you don't have to crack it every other time in every other aspect i'm just trying to train you my second most annoying thing is that you and it drives me insane you don't like I mean besides the part where you don't want to share food with me at all and you're very strict about that you don't like physical touch you don't like physical touch like

I do physical touch is my love language I want to be touching everyone all the time even my friends I'll like reach out when I laugh and touch them or I'll give them a hug or there's always something and with Jordan because I'm in love with him it's worse and the fact that I know we have limited time together I am literally all over you all day I want to be cuddling you I want to spoon at night i want to hold your hand and you hate it you'll take your hand out of my hand half the time you make me sleep in a separate bed in the hotel room if there's two beds if we get to a hotel room and there's two queen beds 100 i'm in the second bed because you're like i need to sleep but i won't be touching anyone it drives me insane this is all made up queen size bed it's not a queen size bed

it's a double bed i can barely fit in it okay and there's there's my most annoying thing number one you're so literal continue please continue i'm just trying to you know dot the eyes and cross the teeth i just i just wish you would hold my hand more i wish you would i do hold your hand no i wish you would the time i wish you would engage in the physical touch more and not just give me i run over to you about five or six times a day and jump on you and hug you and you're still complaining and the only thing that you're really complaining about is because when i go to sleep i hate to be touched because i can't fall asleep that's the only time i don't touch you and you know it because you're smiling and smirking and laughing now okay most annoying thing number three

i mean actually now that i'm on a roll there are a few things that annoy me but number three keep going by all means number three is it doesn't matter if i'm right if i have presented facts to you if i have laid it out if i've shown you a documentary if it's literally science you will never ever ever admit that i am right never even if it's two plus two and i say four you would fight me tooth and nail you will never let me be right no that is right why can't i be oh now you're just doing it to please everyone you always two plus two is four why would i argue that jordan you're very different on social media to britney you seem shy scared of the camera you never post anything you never post britney why don't you ever post britney why don't you ever

post britney why don't you oh sorry did i say that three times no talk to us about your different views on social media obviously i use social media for a business and i'm happy to share that aspect of my life you know that i talk very openly on the podcast there's still a lot about jordan that i don't share i think a lot of people think i do share a lot honestly i don't but i don't know i fell head over heels in love and i wanted to let everyone know and i'm so proud of jordan that every single thing he does i put it up on my instagram because i'm proud of him and i want to tell everyone how good he is and what he does and what he succeeds in and he looks like jack from this is us and i love jack i think that's pretty unfair that i don't host britney i don't

post britney i don't post britney how many times you said three i don't even post myself and i barely have any posts up on my instagram and i only really use it to watch sports highlights seinfeld clips stuff that i find funny and that's really the only reason i use it but my relationships in the past i have never put an ex-girlfriend up on my i don't even know what you call it is it your page or a post whatever page i've put them on stories but it's never actually been on a post and you have been more than two or three times so you're winning by leaps and bounds but why is the question people want to know why don't you post your public profile what don't you like about using social media especially for when you're playing tennis and things like that i don't feel

the need to post my life online yeah i'm pretty low-key i don't like the camera if we weren't going out I'd have 10 photos on my phone because I just never ever get my camera out you know I just don't think the world needs to know what I'm up to so I just don't feel the need to post and I don't really like it you don't mind when I post you though do you no you can do whatever you want I mean that's that's your page that's your platform but when people expect me to you know be a little bit more proactive on Instagram I think that's unfair because it's my decision do you ever get embarrassed by me that was another one that came in because I can't look let's be really like me pretty embarrassing but I don't really get embarrassed I don't feel embarrassment

like most people do well funnily enough when I asked you out to dinner on the first day you said only if we can play tennis and then you proceeded to send a photo of yourself with the worst tennis racket I've ever seen in the world's worst tennis get up I've ever seen and I was thinking wow and you probably thought I was serious too did you I have no idea I'd never met you and as I take things so literally you thought i was what the hell is this so do you get embarrassed by me or not uh you show me a video of yourself playing handball or doing parkour and i was like wow how do people think you're cool you are the biggest loser biggest one is to finish off long distance relationships we had so many people writing in about long distance relationships on how to go

about it how to navigate it what are the best things that you can do how to keep the spark alive especially with the climate for today COVID is keeping a lot of people apart where they shouldn't be in long-distance relationships but they are because of the borders etc what are your tips for long distance and I guess how do people keep the love alive if you're not going to see each other for such a long time well the only thing you've got in long-distance relationships is communication so your communication needs to be on point you need to be really diligent with it it's the only time you're actually going to see your partner is on FaceTime so I would suggest making an effort or a certain time to FaceTime depending on the time difference hopefully it's

not in another country otherwise that really makes it makes it so hard it makes it so hard if you're in another state that's a lot easier because you always got your phone and it's the same time but if one person's in Australia and the other person's in America like Britt and I usually are it's a nightmare absolute nightmare also because when I start my day I give myself limited time because I need to make it to the tennis court at a certain time it's usually in the morning so I wake up go straight to breakfast go straight to the gym and start warming up and I haven't really got time for a phone call I really only got time for like messaging but I'm not even on my phone I'm like brushing my teeth getting in the car driving going straight to

practice I haven't got time to text either and when I do it's sporadically yeah we face I mean communication is key we say that all the time we text sporadically in the day we try and FaceTime at least once a day. I think the FaceTime part's really important. I think you need to be able to see each other on FaceTime, visualize, be able to laugh, see each other's expressions because texting and things like that, talking on the phone, things can be taken the wrong way as well. And it's just more personal when you get to see each other. Obviously, I mean, you can have little date nights too. Jordan and I will have meals together. I'll take him down to Bondi Beach so he can sit at the beach. He'll take me to Paris when he's there, to the Eiffel Tower. Super,

super cute but other than that i mean that's literally all you've got besides that and some serious sexting you don't have much else wow wow you want to talk about some sexting no definitely how to make jordan uncomfortable 101 talk about sex very uncomfortable right now but guys i think that is it i i don't know how that podcast was it's not going to be for everyone let's just reiterate again that we are not a podcasting couple jordan and i jordan this is your first ever podcast am i correct correct it could be one and done what did you think of that you hated it no i didn't hate it i know i struggle in these kind of things but hopefully you guys love the episode definitely not going to be for everyone and i'm shook that you guys wanted me on

here hopefully i did good well good yeah you guys have been wanting this for a very very long time and jordan very kindly agreed to come on the podcast even though he he absolutely didn't want to and that's not because he didn't want to do the podcast it's just because he really hates and he feels uncomfortable when he's in front of the microphone so thank you for doing this it's definitely not for everybody hopefully you get to know Jordan a little bit more hopefully you get to see what I love about Jordan and a little bit more into my life I guess because it is such a huge part of my life now and I feel like with Laura you guys know Matty J he's on the podcast all the time he's in the he's in the industry he's in the entertainment industry he's everywhere and we

love may jane you know that he's a big part but i guess everyone wanted to feel like they knew you to some level as well jordan say thank you for coming on the podcast thank you guys for listening we'll be back to our regular scheduling on thursday with ask uncut don't forget to keep your questions coming in just put ask uncut at the top and send them into instagram slide on into those dms life uncut podcast also joining the facebook discussion group there's like 60 000 amazing people in that group that have the best conversations they ask anonymous questions in there they for each other they ask questions that are non-anonymous they have meetup groups where they have made best friends all around the country I really cannot recommend that enough

Jordan Thompson hopefully in the future we're still dating and you can make your way back onto the podcast all righty thanks for having me uh I think we need to get to bed and I'll get the highlights loaded for some sexy time We'll be right back.