Life Uncut - BONUS EPISODE - Uncut with KIIS FM Part 1

Episode Date: November 13, 2020

Your girls were on radio!HERE IT IS LIFERS, a very cheeky bonus episode of our first radio segment on KIIS FM.Answering all your life uncut questions live and having a good old laugh with Mitch Churri.This is a packaged up little Bonus Episode of our first night, and we will be dropping night 2 on Sunday for anyone who wasn't able to listen to it live.We will be back to our normal scheduling on Tuesday, but hope you enjoy these fun little morsels.BIG LOVE - Laura and BrittSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey guys and welcome to our cheeky little bonus episode of Life Uncut. It is very, very strange being here and doing even just this intro recording without Britt But this little bonus episode is because, as some of you guys would already know, Britt and I did a segment on Kiss FM the last couple of weeks. And there's been so many of you on the Facebook group and also in DMs asking if there's somewhere where you can listen back to the segment. So we thought we would just package up our little radio segment that we did with Mitch Turi and give it to you here as a bonus episode. So if you're interested in listening to the radio talk back, then this is for you. but also there's going to be some overlap in some of the conversations and things as well so if you are a die-hard life on cut fan you may find that some of the themes we've already talked about on

the podcast but anyway have a listen it's a quick one it's only 15 minutes this is our first section from the very first week we did which was two weeks ago with kiss fm and then we also did a segment last wednesday night as well and if you love this i can package that one up separately for anyone who wants to listen to that also and that's going to be dropping on sunday so keep an eye out for that. Two little bonus episodes for you this week, and then we'll be back to our very normal scheduling with a nice, big, meaty episode for you on Tuesday. Here it is, our little segment that we did with Kiss FM. It was so much fun. We hope you enjoy. Mitch Till Midnight. Kiss Nights. Welcome back, Kiss Nights. I'm Mitch Till Midnight. I'm joined

by the lovely Britt Hockley, Laura Byrne. Hello, ladies. Hi, Mitch. Thanks for having us. Thank you. I feel great coming in in the hot seat. I know. It's fun to have you guys here.

Britt's just over there, like, nestled into Jackie O's against her sparkly microphone, really making it her own, guys. Yeah, I know. I was going to play it down a little bit, just in case Jackie O was listening, but Jackie O, I'm actually all in. I'm frothing your microphone. It's beautiful.

You've kept it clean for me. She's going to come in tomorrow and be like, why is there foundation on my headphones? I don't wear this color. I'm not a Maybelline girl. What's happening? has britney been making out with a headphone because there's lipstick all over it no also mitch what do you do at the studio at night you are applying any makeup or what's happening having

the time my life that's it literally uh guys you may know uh britain laura from uh the bachelor right laura yeah very successful run i mean you found the love of your life you with maddie jade procreated yeah you've got another one on the way yeah pregnant yeah and then brit you made it all the way to the end final girl and single dumped on national tv dumped on national television what a contrast hey here we are here we are but you know what mitch it's always too soon so you are you do have a podcast uh life uncut which i love and people seem to love it too so we're going to be doing some of the things you do on the pod we're going to be asking some questions ask uncut is that how it works we have ask uncut which is a section on the podcast where we answer

listener questions so guys you can call up with your deep dark and dirty questions and we will give our very unqualified but extremely enthusiastic advice you know what and if anything it just makes you feel a little bit less alone and a little bit less weird because you're like man everyone else has these awkward problems as well i'm not the only one yeah and if we can't relate we'll just lie and if you feel like we've one of the two like it's fine it'll be one of those three options well that is what's next because i listen to the podcast in research like i'm a i'm a journal over here like i listen to life on card wow you take your job seriously i really do the hard-hitting like peter overton i love that for you mitch i listened and i heard something a couple weeks ago

laura involves you and a toilet and dropping a very expensive piece of tech into said toilet bowl you sound so shocked by this that's hardly the most shocking thing i've said on that podcast after that really confused me and the fact that i took a selfie with the phone tonight i'm feeling all sorts of ways okay so guys for anyone who hasn't listened to the podcast i went to the toilet you know i had my two minutes piece away from my child sat down did my business then realized the toilet paper wasn't actually within reach it was on the other side of the bathroom which also happens when you have a kid things just get moved and you don't know where things are so i had to like half pull my pants up to shimmy across the room to get the toilet paper and in

the process my phone fell out of the back pocket and into my poop oh yeah you know what i already quizzed her on this. It wasn't a hard poop. Really? Nah, it was like a vindaloo. It was like post-vindaloo poop. Oh my god. Wait, wait, wait. Let's leave it on vindaloo. We're going to take your calls because I want to know what have you dropped in the toilet

because I don't want you to be alone. I want you to feel like there are other people in the world that are so... I know there are other people out there who have experienced this. You just wipe it off and you get on with your life. Oh, wipe it off. No, no, there are other people that have experienced this but there's no one that just throws their hand in, pulls it out and gets on with the day. At least it was my own toilet. We weren't like

at the office or at, like, a festival in, like, a portal. True. Was it your poo? Yes. I wasn't pooing on top of somebody else's poo. They only flush once a day. They're saving water. Environmentally Conscious guys, it's 2020. Has everybody watched that David Attenborough documentary? I highly recommend.

I'm going to take calls now. 131065 gives a call. What have you dropped in the toilet? What have you dropped on a poo? Who cares? Call us. We'll see if you're not alone here at Kiss Nights. I got Britt and Laura in here from Batchy, from girls from Life Uncut Podcast.

What did you just say, Britt, when the mics were on? I didn't know the mics were on. We were just having a general conversation, but I was like, I had a tampon story. I thought it was funny. I just wanted to do an on-air show. She said, can we talk about tampons? Well, you just did, Brittany. Well, we are now. Well, too late, isn't it? Well, the answer is yes. We're here.

We're taking your calls, 131065, because in preparation for having the girls on, I listened to the podcast, and I heard a story, Laura, you dropped your phone in your toilet. I did. I dropped my phone in the toilet. I feel like this is a common thing. Maybe not just a phone. Maybe you've dropped other things in there.

Who knows? Yeah. But we put it out there for some moral support, and at the start, the phones weren't really firing, but we got there in the end. Of course they weren't firing. I think there was some embarrassment, to be real. Let's go to Carl in Marrickville.

Hey, Carl, what did you drop in the toilet? Well, I dropped a couple of chicken wings down the toilet for some reason. What were you doing eating chicken wings on the toilet? I feel like it's the number one rule. You don't eat on the toilet. No, no, no, I was peeing. I was just having it. I was a bit drunk and then, you know,

you get halfway through a wing and it goes in. Oh, look, understandable. What did you do? Did you dive in there after it and save the chicken wing, have a chow down, or did you just let it go? Yeah, I think I just let it go. Hang on, what do you mean you think you just let it go? You let it go, Carl, or you didn't?

That would also be so awkward for the partner walking in the toilet and being like, babe, I think we need to get you some Gaviscon. It's a little bit soggy, but it's still good. Three-second rule, guys. I always feel like, babe, your digestion's not working. You shut a hole too much. Oh, my God. Thank you.

Thank you, Carl. Let's go to Brie in French's Forest. Brie, what have you dropped in the toilet? It wasn't me. It was my sister. So she was wearing one of those hoodies with the big pocket at the front. She had her work phone and her personal phone in her pocket. and as she stood up, one of them dropped in.

She sort of panicked and went to reach in front and the other one went in after her. Brie! Brie, I knew that there was someone out there. Look, you just gave me a two-for-one deal. I only did one in my own poo. I don't think it gets better than two bows. Your sister is a true legend.

What did she do? Did she dive in there after it? Did she salvage it? Did she just use a little spray and wipe? She chucked them both. Yeah. I mean, that's the wise decision. Poor Laura, she didn't even sanitize it.

She just pulled it out. Okay, guys, the new phones are also waterproof. So, like, I wasn't going to just toss it. The phone works fine. Mitch, you've used it. You've touched it. It's still good to go. I took a selfie pre-show before we jumped into this.

I'm like, where's the Purell to sanitize my hands? Yeah, but remember, Laura, yours wasn't pure water. Yours was post-Vindaloo. That's not just water. I used a wipe on this. We've got Sarah. Sarah, hi, Sarah. What have you dropped in the toilet?

Hi. I have dropped my work keys in the toilet before. I used to run, yeah, I ran a really busy restaurant and I was doing a nervous poo. We had this really big event on and I always used to get really nervous in case something went wrong. And I went to the bathroom and I used to hang my work keys on my work skirt

and they fell off into the toilet. Do you know what, Laura? I'm going to put this out there. sorry, Laura, I love you, but Laura does a nervous poo before every podcast that we do. Okay, how solid are we talking here, though? On a scale of one to five, Bristol. Yeah.

It wasn't solid, yeah. Do you know what? It never is. At least it's easy to clean, to be honest. Oh, thanks, Sarah. I put my hand in with the toilet paper right around my hand. Oh, Sarah, you know what? We really let you have it easy out there. We could have finished on a high, Sarah, but you just

take it down there right into the toilet humour. Oh, my God, we definitely could. We have a last call. hot on Maddie's call quickly. Maddie, you're the last one. Why did you drop in the toilet? Me? Yeah, hi, Maddie. Me. I'm really nervous, guys. I don't often tell this story, but I just want to say a big fan of the

show, first time caller. I recognise this voice. I think I know who this is. I know who this is. Am I getting trolled by my own fiancé? Is that what's happening on live on radio? It appears that way. You're struggling. You've had to have the baby for a couple of hours by yourself.

Matt, this jealousy needs to end. She's on the been with me for like 25 minutes i'll see you matt thanks for calling buddy all right we're taking your questions up next here at kiss nights it's mid till midnight my god maddie j on the air how exciting what a treat tate mccray you broke me first here at kiss nights i'm mid till midnight 954 almost 10 o'clock you can uh give us a call 131065 you can ask uncut real soon because britain will already join me Hi, ladies. Hi, Mitch.

Hey, Mitch. I need to, like, address something. Because, Britt, you were telling us off a year, you had a date the other night. And Laura has, you've got a bone to pick. Read the date. So, Britt has a tendency to be extremely attracted to men who are covered in red flags. Like, that's just her thing. She's like, ooh, are you toxic?

Great, let's date. Let me invest some solid time into you. So, anyway, so Britt came off this date recently. And, like, I mean, all things seem pretty well with this guy so far. But she came off this date and she said, do you know what? He just doesn't know how hot he is. Which is something that she says after every date. Like the guy's an actor or a model or something.

Anyway, he rocks up to the date wearing a white turtleneck. And I'm like, any man, any man who has the brazen confidence to wear a white turtleneck on a date, he knows exactly how hot he is, girlfriend. Look, look, let me just set the scene here. First of all, there's a few things I'm attracted to. Yes, a turtleneck. Oh, my God. A turtleneck?

Sorry. I don't know what it is. A man in a turtleneck gets me going. A white turtleneck, I'm yours. You're like, what's under that neck roll? What could it be? A neck tat? Number two is like a solid amount of red flags.

If you've got turtlenecks and a red flag, I'm yours. I get like librarian vibes from a turtleneck. I don't get like, I want to rip your clothes off. Okay, but no, the awkward thing about this date is, and he's beautiful, he's French, he doesn't know I was on The Bachelor, he knows nothing about me, doesn't know how hot he is,

doesn't know about the podcast, has not listened or anything. So, long story short, this is the podcast is my undoing in the dating world because is it just the podcast and you know what ladies and gentlemen that is my best friend right there okay maybe it's a bit of a bit of the podcast bit of my personality who knows um no so i go on this date right and i i always tell laura everything about it and i always tell the podcast about it because laura pulls the information from me so i'm on the podcast i

never give details but i was like look went on a date with a french guy he was beautiful he wore a white turtleneck that's the end of it the next day on my instagram i post a photo with me and my best friend who is a male and now i never post men everyone wants me to be in love and my instagram starts going off like the comments hundreds of comments of people saying started to say oh my god is this the french guy is this the white turtleneck guy oh no and the white turtleneck french guy who knows nothing about me follows me on instagram so all of a sudden this poor guy knows that like he's like what the hell this this girl has obviously gone and spoken to the world about this date with a white i also like that he's just known as white turtleneck french guy

like that's him he's just this ambivalent ambiguous man no name but this is the thing i'm never gonna name names but just like in case anyone was actually wondering and wants success for my dating life a date went well thank you we're very happy for you you just spoke about this on national radio so yeah you just went from our tiny little podcast like our little concealed community to the whole of australia you're welcome disclaimer was not my idea this is live radio you guys have thrown me under the bus i feel like i am being targeted this is going to be great for your dating life yeah there's rule as long as you care love that kiss nights i'm mitch till midnight happy wednesday we're here we're live i got laura and brit hi girls

Hi, Mitch. Mitch, happy to be here. Let's not talk anymore about my dating life. No, no, we've moved on. We've moved on to the listeners. We want to hear about other people's tragic stories to make ourselves feel better about, like, what we go through, right? Is that how this works, Ask Uncut?

That is absolutely how this works. We have a segment on our podcast, which is called Ask Uncut, where all of the listeners, well, not all of them, but a lot of them, write in with their deep, dark, and dirty questions. We literally get hundreds a week, and the way this started was the fact that, like, some really awkward things were happening to myself and Laura, and we wanted to make ourselves feel better.

So we asked for their tragic story. So we just lean on everyone else's trauma and give unsolicited, unqualified, but enthusiastic advice. So who gave you guys the therapy ticket? Like, I would not come to you if I had a... Oh, please, if you knew my life and what I have been through, I feel like I am actually qualified. It's years and years and years of terrible, terrible decision-making

that really sets you up to give better advice the next time around. Are you the people that your friends come to when they need advice? This is how this started. I had so many people after I got dumped nationally. Oh, did you get dumped? Sorry, just confirmed. Did you get dumped nationally? Did you know that, Laura?

Did someone break up with you on national TV? Are you okay? If you don't laugh, you cry. You've talked about it a few times. Are you still struggling? It's literally how this started. Once you get dumped on national television, everyone started to come to me like all of a sudden I had all the answers,

which I actually thought was hilarious. I was like, you guys think now I'm a professional at this? And that's why I went to Laura and I said, i think we could do something with this because i can't answer these people on my own well what's what are some examples quickly so if you guys are listening and thinking i could go for some late night advice means 10 o'clock guys what's some advice what's some questions you get thrown to on the pod well we have a legitimate question that we can answer right now all right so we received this one today which i think is very topical hi ladies and mitch i met a guy online

dating we were really vibing and we had a one night stand but the next day we woke up and we started very casually talking about politics. Turns out he's a Trump supporter. He even has a Make America Great Again hat. Oh, dear. Okay, so I hope you woke up and put him in the bin. And left immediately. Unsubscribe and get out.

Quick. And take the hat. Move the hell out of there. So he can't wear that hat again because you've got to import them from the States. It's a whole thing. It's a one-night stand. You're not invested yet.

Like, I think do not spend your time here. Do not pass go. Do not receive $200 and leave. Look, my main alarm here, my alarm bell, is that you woke up after a hot one night stand and you started talking about politics yeah that's a real no that is a red flag for me i would be hot out the door before he even said he was a trump supporter there you go i like that advice if you have a question for the girls 131065 give us a call we're asking on kai 10 23 across the country welcome to kiss nights i'm mitch till

midnight here and live uh we got semi jade on with me a little bit before 11 o'clock not to make my two guests that i've got with me right now feel any less important wow mitch we're on our way out we know where we were used by can you i don't want to leave the studio just buzz semi in when you go down just let her in yeah it's cold outside thank you yeah give her your jacket uh we thought uh obviously the girls brit and laura from batchy from life uncut podcast they do a segment on the pod uh ask uncut basically unsolicited advice let's be real well it's solicited advice it's just unqualified yeah it's just not good advice i still fight that because Because I think I'm really qualified with the awkwardness that life presents me.

Yeah, so I thought before we get you out of here, we'll take one more. So we've got it on 131065, Tanya in Chatswood. Hi, you're on with the girls. Hey, Tanya. What's your question? Hi, ladies. So I have an embarrassing problem. I don't know how to put it nicely, but basically every time I have sex, I fart.

And it's basically ruining my sex life. Oh, Tanya. Tanya, I have a question for you. Do you have a dog? No. You should buy a dog and then have the dog in the bedroom and then every time you have sex, you can blame it on the dog. No, hang on.

It's probably not. It's probably the sound, is it? And this might be intrusive, but there are two types of passing wind during sex. Which one is yours? It's the back one. It's the back one. I can't seem to hold it.

It's not loud because I am trying, but it's like a... And, yeah. What are you eating before? Nothing out of the ordinary. Maybe we need to start meal prepping. No, in all honesty, I'm just going to be really serious here for a hot second. This is actually really normal. We have so many people writing to us.

We have a lot of people writing to us saying that it happens. It happens to men as well. And I think literally either just laugh it off and be like, whoopsie, like just own it because you can't hide it. And sex is, it's gritty, it's dirty. It can be a bit nasty. Like you just have to laugh these things off in the bedroom and get on with it. Agreed.

And if your partner's focusing on the fart rather than what's actually happening, you maybe need to work on your technique. Yeah, if you're naked in front of him and he's more worried about you passing in. Also, at what point during the sex, like, hey, baby, you ready to... Like, is it in the action? Or is it like when you're all getting hot and heavy at the very end, coming home? She's like, I don't want to tell you what time it is. She's like, at the restaurant, pre-sex.

Other people have the same problem. And the thing is, just take notice of it. It's probably positional. So maybe just take a mental note, write it in a diary. Who knows? Go all out. But just make a note. If it's in a certain position, don't go there again,

especially after a big night out. In your diary, 7 p.m. Tuesday. Doggy style doesn't work for me. Let's try another one Monday. Whiz pop Tuesday, 10 p.m. Missionary, exceptionally gassy. Thank you, Tanya. We love you.

We hope that helps. We'll be right back.