Life Uncut - Britt's Big News (For Real This Time)

Starting point is 00:00:09 Hi, guys. Hi, guys. And welcome back to another episode of Life on Cut. I went to New Zealand. I'm Warren. Brittany went to New Zealand again. No, that was a joke. I'm Brittany. I did go to New Zealand, but we don't need to hear about that.

Starting point is 00:00:23 Well, actually, just so you do know, we did start talking and doing this episode, but then we realized we just started talking about New Zealand again for the fourth episode in a row. And I was like, it's enough. We love New Zealand. Sof's from New Zealand. We love New Zealand. Sof, we love you. We were trying to make you feel included, but it's too much.

Starting point is 00:00:38 Thank you. Can I tell you from a producer's perspective, we are approximately eight minutes into recording. We're starting again. So, that's normal. I thought you would know that by now. Sometimes after a long weekend, it just takes a moment to warm into things. I'm all for it. I'm all for it.

Starting point is 00:00:54 Love New Zealand. Love repeating the start of the podcast six times. So for sake, you're warm. Just get going. I've got a podcast episode to edit it. No, all I will say is we did a very successful little visa run. My husband is back in the country. All is well.

Starting point is 00:01:07 Thank you. And yes, I know. you're dying, we did lose. And I do want to put it out there one day, guys, one day you will hear that travel New Zealand will be a sponsor on this podcast. And that will be the day when we start reading out those travel New Zealand ads, you'll be like, the girls made it. They did it. They did it. And that's all we're angling for. So you know what? If you went for the New Zealand tourism board, hit us up. Yeah, come for us. Also, Magnetic Island. That's where I was this weekend. So I went to Maggie Island for five days, left on Wednesday, went and hung out with my dad who lives on the island.

Starting point is 00:01:38 A remote island off the coast of Townsville, if you don't know Magnetic Island. You're looking confused. Yeah, I just, when you said that you're going to this island, I didn't realize people lived on the island. Not many, if any. Okay, Eminem. Are you going to drop a tune about Maggie Island? I have been riding one, actually.

Starting point is 00:01:55 How many people live there? So, Maggie Island is half an hour off the coast of Townsville. So basically, you go to Townsville, you get like the ferry barge across half an hour. You fly to Townsville and then you get a car ferry, do you? No, well, there's car ferry, but there's also just like, a passenger ferry as well. And you do passenger ferry or do you hire a car? Depends. Sometimes Sometimes my dad... Details. I just can't wait to find out how you got to Maggie Island. Sometimes my dad takes the Ute over on the ferry barge and then picks us up in the Ute,

Starting point is 00:02:24 but this time we got the passenger ferry and we got a car over on the island. Oh, so it's not that small. You can still rent a car on it because I've never been, so I'm trying to like understand what the island is. So it's pretty small. My dad's been there for gosh, almost 20 years now, right? It's changed so much. It's 20 years ago where my dad lives in this area, could picnic bay, there was nothing. There was a jetty and there was a few houses in that area. Now there's like a little arcade.

Starting point is 00:02:50 Like there's a little surf, life-saving club that's there. It's kind of always been there, but it's now actually manned. There's someone that will save you if you're drowning off the jetty. Leaps and bounds that island. It is like going back into a complete time warp. I think there's like a thousand locals that actually live on the island, but then there's about at any time 2,000 tourists that are coming in and out of the island. It's got the biggest colony of koalas anywhere in Australia.

Starting point is 00:03:12 So you can just walk down the street. There's koalas in the tree. There's little areas where you can go and see the wallabies are just like, there are colonies of rock wallabies. It's just the most beautiful place. I love it. I love going there and taking the kids. I love going there and seeing my dad.

Starting point is 00:03:27 But it is kind of like, how do you describe it? There's people that have holiday houses there, but then it's also like an island of misfits. Have you got nowhere else to go in the world? You go to Magnetic Island. If you're a bit of a hermit. So my dad, he's ex-vette. He moved there because he doesn't...

Starting point is 00:03:41 You mean army, not animal vet. Yeah, sorry. I just, I want to clarify. He was in the army. He was not an animal vet. He was not an animal vet. He was... And he just got done with saving the animals.

Starting point is 00:03:51 So he went to, he went to Maggie Island. Too dramatic. Yeah, it was. It was, he had to remove himself. He went there for the koalas, guys. He was, he was... He went there for the chlamydia. He was, there's no chlamydia on the island.

Starting point is 00:04:02 That's because your dad went. Clean it all up. Not in the koalas, anyway. So dad was in the army. He's ex-vet. He is not a particularly... I don't know how you describe him. He's a unique character.

Starting point is 00:04:16 He doesn't... Yeah, like people aren't always his like favorite thing. I think animals and like being out going fishing and doing stuff like that. Anyway, when he first moved there, I was quite worried that he was going to become a hermit. But instead, he just like made friends with like all of these quite unique people on the island. He's got his little community. And it really is like just such a weird mix of tourists and also like, locals and it's just kind of like a real hippie island. I love it. I love it so much.

Starting point is 00:04:41 One thing I was not expecting, though, is the amount of lifers that were on magnetic island in far north Queensland. It is the most concentrated amount of people that have come up to me in any short period of time and being like, oh my God, listen to the podcast, love the podcast, I'm a lifer. I've subscribed to the Patreon. I was like, you're one of our 30 subscribers at this point. Sorry, can we just talk about the fact that in the same sentence you said, Maggie Islands, where all the misfits go. I've never seen so many life is there. It's where all the weirdos are.

Starting point is 00:05:12 Life is. Full of lifers. That's so cool. And also, we've clocked over a thousand subs. Yeah, we actually have, guys.

Starting point is 00:05:20 There's a thousand people on Patreon now. So if you haven't joined the community, you're missing out? It's gone down. Down. Yeah. Downtown where? In the locker room.

Starting point is 00:05:29 In the lounge room. We don't know yet. We're still having a little bit of a, just like a little bit of a back and forth, trying to figure out what we call our lifers who were in the Patreon subscription group. We put up a post in there where people are being able to vote for their own names. And we've got the lockers because obviously like you guys, we are all the lifers.

Starting point is 00:05:49 But then if you're in there, are you a locker? Are you a sublifer? No, that wasn't an option. That sublocker wasn't an option. But Laura keeps trying to make it happen. And it's sublockers out. Sublifers out. Stop trying to make fetch happen.

Starting point is 00:06:03 No, we are having a bit of an identity crisis in there because we want. Once the name is out, it's out, you know? So I feel like it's like naming a child. You really need to nail it down from the start. You can change the name of your child, though. Ness did it. And I remember at the time she was like, we're going to change Indigo's name. And I was like, bold.

Starting point is 00:06:20 This is what I've just learned. So a friend of mine just had a baby last week. And I had no idea about this. You are handed a piece of paper with a QR code like dog registration. And they go, oh, please remember to register your child within, yes, six weeks or eight weeks. you leave the hospital with no name. What happens if you don't? I can't remember, but I didn't.

Starting point is 00:06:42 Do you get fined? No, you don't. You just got to go to birth, test and marriages or, like, put in, like, a different application. You've got, like, a specific amount of time to register your child. But I always find the process quite confusing because, like, I remember with Poppy, we got given this, like, booklet of stuff, and they're, like, do not lose this very important booklet of stuff that has your child's registration number that you need to register your child.

Starting point is 00:07:04 It is giving dog. And I'm, like, in this postpart. Hayes, placenta on the floor, like, what? Are you at home or are you still not? I can't even find my swipe to get into work most days and I'm very cognizant. Maybe I've had a few pseudoepidurin coderals, but I'm fine. This is me pushing out a placenta and I've been given a birthing record that I can't lose. I'm like, guys, I have undiagnosed ADHD. I have lost it already. I don't know what that is. It seems pretty hectic. That seems like a lot of responsibility. Also, who is giving it to you when you're still birthing the placenta? They need to go home.

Starting point is 00:07:34 No, it gets put into like the tray. Like the baby goes into a plastic tray on top. And then the paperwork goes... The baby goes into a tray. Filed away. It's like a plastic trolley, basically. Sorry, this sounds really strange. When you have a baby in the hospital, they give you a trolley that's got a plastic tub

Starting point is 00:07:51 and the baby goes into the plastic tub without a lid. But you just push the baby around in a clear plastic tub. Oh, I know what you mean. Sorry, when you say that, that's not a tray. You make it sound like it's filing it away. You're like, you put it on a tray like it's going to go, I don't know where it's going. I know what you mean. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:08:06 Sorry, we've taken a few tangents already today. Sorry, moving away from my placenta and back to the Patreon. If you haven't subscribed, $6.99 a month. Our coffee just cost us more because I have soy with a shot of honey. Do you know honey is like a dollar now? Oh, God. Outrage. Anyway, $6.99 a month.

Starting point is 00:08:22 You get a 20% discount if you buy a full year subscription in advance. There's already a thousand of you. And we're going to be dropping, as you guys know, there's minimum two episodes. And when we say minimum, there's going to be more stuff in there. Sometimes more, nevertheless. We just want to under-promise and over-deliver. That's what minimum means. Sometimes more, never-less.

Starting point is 00:08:41 Yeah, but you know, some people over-promise and under-deliver, not us here. We wanted to protect ourselves. Yeah, we certainly did. So, yeah, we'll put it links into the show notes. If you haven't signed up for Patreon yet, there is already a couple of things waiting for you, and our very first proper Patreon episode comes out tomorrow. So that's very exciting for us as well. One thing did happen to me in Magnetic Island.

Starting point is 00:09:01 What happened was in the toilet. And I don't want to take this to toilet. But it's just one of those things where I think all of us have a story like this. And I was the one that had to come to the rescue. Okay. So Lola is five. She still on occasions is like, mom, dad, wipe my butt, right? Like we're still at that phase of life.

Starting point is 00:09:19 Really? And I'm okay with it. It's because she doesn't always do a great job. So sometimes she wants someone to just check. It's like easier for you to do it sometimes and deal with the skitties later. Yeah, she's very specific, which I'm okay with. Anyway, when we're in the island, Matt had this moment where she was like, Mom, Dad, come white my backside. She screams, come wipe my bum. And Matt goes in there. And at the same time, she's holding, like, she's got this adjustable ring that she is

Starting point is 00:09:42 obsessed with. Her adjustable ring is like her favorite thing. She's a jewelry gal. Can you blame her? And she's playing with this adjustable ring and Matt goes to wipe her backside. And he's like, oh, just give me the ring. You're going to drop it. And as she goes to hand it over to him, the ring falls straight into the toilet. Of which she's obviously done a doozy. In a gigantic poo. And it just falls straight down past the poo into the bottom of the toilet. So then we're faced with this moment where Matt is like, oh, we just, it's gone.

Starting point is 00:10:09 It's gone. It's gone. We're flushing it. Lola is hysterical. And I'm like, you got to fish that out because that was Matt's problem. He dropped it. And that was like absolutely not. And I was like, well, I guess there's only one parent here that's going to go to town

Starting point is 00:10:25 and do the job, the job that needs to be done. And so I had this moment where I was like, how does one fish this out of the toilet? I mean, ideally you would like to put on gloves. Yeah, but there's no gloves. Magnetic Island's not that place. There's no gloves on me. Sticks? Like, did you think like big stick or something?

Starting point is 00:10:40 Thank you. Chopsticks. I found some chopsticks. I'm thinking big stick and she's gone, little turning chopsticks. The smallest possible stick. There's a forest outside. Let's make it even more tricky. She's like I found a twig.

Starting point is 00:10:53 It's like squid games. I used a tooth big. Got some dental flas. No, I ended up getting a chopstick and got it out. All was fine. Clean the ring. Disinfected hands. Disinfected everything.

Starting point is 00:11:06 But I was like, everybody has a story where you have dropped something into the toilet and had to fish it out. And it took me back to when I was very young and my sister swallowed a signet ring. And we spent a week and a half. Your sister's wrong with your family. Rings and toilets. They waited for your sister to poop it out. Yeah, we had to wait for my sister for her to come out the other end. And every day, she waited through trying to find the signory.

Starting point is 00:11:30 It's like a drug mule. Like when you're waiting for the poop the drugs out? You're like, I don't know. It was coming. It was a solid goal. We did it with a ruby in it. God. Does that mean every time your sister pooed for a wee? Oh, no, because it would come out the first one. We never found it. What? Does she have bowel issues now? Oh, I've had one of those times where I've dropped something in the toilet. But it probably wasn't as needed that I needed to get it out. But at the time, I really thought it I needed to get it out. So I was going camping and middle of June, freezing. This was actually last year, if you were in Sydney and New South Wales, it was the coldest night New South Wales has had in 20 odd years.

Starting point is 00:12:05 For some reason, me and my friends were camping. And there was a camp toilet, which is disgusting to start with. And what I forgot is it was so cold. I had those little hand warmers you get at the chemist. I'd put them all down my pants and undies to keep me warm. And I forgot about it. And then I went to pee and I just heard, do, do, do, do. And all of these hand warmers fell in the toilet.

Starting point is 00:12:26 Sophie, you leave those. You're in a public toilet. But I was cold. So I was like, I have to get these out of the toilet because what if I freeze or then what if I clog the camp toilet? So I'm horrified. I am, yeah, there's some things that you just play on and that's one. Yeah, so I fished out the hand warmers and I really contemplated putting them back in my pants.

Starting point is 00:12:51 And then I went, that's even low for me. So I did throw them out, but I did fish them out of the public. Wow. You know what? I just am going to look at you differently forever. The only other thing I've had to fish out, actually, there's been a few things, but I'm over our phone. I remember going to a public toilet.

Starting point is 00:13:07 Unfortunately, it was not great. Number two, went to pull my pants up to then, no, I hadn't flushed the toilet. No, whatever. But my pair chain of events is irrelevant. It is, but it fell out of my back pocket straight into the toilet. And I was like, what are you going to do? do. You're going to dive in. You're going to dive in. Do it right in there. They are waterproof.

Starting point is 00:13:25 No, it was back before they weren't. And you know what? I should have just known. It was gone. It was so waterlogged. And I should have just accepted fate that it was gone and not dove in headfirst after I didn't dive in headfirst. But you know what I mean? I got out with my head, my mouth. It was like Bobby Frapples. I don't know if this puts me leagues above you guys, possibly. You are better than I was pretty. I am a woman of science. I have never dropped anything in the toilet that I can think of. Never?

Starting point is 00:13:49 No, unless I've blacked something out. I've seen my pants before in the past, but it's irrelevant. I've never, ever had to fish down the out of the toilet. It depends on how much time you spend there just like. I spend, I have, I've been, yes, for years. I've spent a lot of time in the toilet. What I say by that is, like, a lot of people spend time, like, reading or just, like, doing other things on the toilet.

Starting point is 00:14:08 Like, how many times have you read something accidentally dropped your phone? I don't, no, I feel like people that go to the toilet to read, that's giving, like, my dad. I don't go there to read a book, but I'll sit on the, I know you're not meant to. It's probably why I have hemorrhoids. But I will sit on the toilet to escape my children reading my phone. It makes so much sense. Sorry, but vaginally birthing three children also makes a lot of sense.

Starting point is 00:14:30 I know, but they do say the guidelines, we will move on. They do say you shouldn't be sitting on toilet for long periods of time. And if you don't use it, don't force it. But let's move on. Anyway. Woman of Science. Let's take this out of the toilet. Look, there is something very, very important that we do want to talk about on today's episode.

Starting point is 00:14:44 I know this feels like we say it from time to time because we always cover the light in the shade, that sometimes it feels like a bit of a bait and switch or a bit of a pull of a hand gear to go from something that's like silly to talking about something that's very serious. But we wanted to address the very recent allegations around Sam Wood and the domestic violence arrest that happened over the weekend. If you are not familiar with this, Sam Wood, he was one of the very first bachelors. He's in a relationship with Snazana. They have four children together. Snez has her daughter from her first marriage, who Sam has raised. And then they have three other.

Starting point is 00:15:17 daughters. So on Saturday night, which was the 3rd of October, Queensland police were called to a property on Hastings Street in Nusa with reports of domestic violence. Now, Sam was arrested for assault occasioning bodily harm and also strangulation in a domestic violence setting. We firstly, we want to be very careful with this because we know that it can open ourselves up to defamation in terms of what we say as the charges have been laid but he hasn't been prosecuted. But we want to say that we are absolutely disgusted. We were as completely shocked as every single person within Australia when this news broke. And all of our team and all of us had this real moment of like,

Starting point is 00:15:58 What the fuck? Absolutely what the fuck. But also like someone who appears to be a good person on social media or apparently has, you know, a family and as a family man and uses that as part of their branding. I guess like that's not proof. It's not proof of anyone's character. And ultimately when I say we've got to be careful what we say. because of defamation charges, we did delete a comment that was in the Facebook group,

Starting point is 00:16:21 purely because things that are said in the Facebook group, we are also liable for. Yeah, I don't know if you guys know that. I do think that's an interesting fact that obviously we didn't know anything about until we started life uncut and we had to do some research into it because we do have 100,000 people that have discussions in a forum. So the way it works is anything that you guys say in any capacity in a Facebook group, not just ours anywhere, or an Instagram post, we as the business are the ones held liable. So if something is reported as incorrect or somebody says something that could go to defamation,

Starting point is 00:16:53 it's not the person that posts a comment, it's us. And you'll see it a lot on, for example, I'll use the Daily Oz as an example, because they have such a prolific Instagram reporting news every single day. They will often turn off comments, limit comments, or have to delete things, and they will then explain why. It's the same reason that you have to use the word allegedly until something has gone to court. When we say allegedly Sam Wood has been arrested for domestic violence charges, we know he was arrested. No one is disputing that. It sounds very much like he has done whatever

Starting point is 00:17:25 he's done. We don't have the information. But you just have to use the term for defamation purposes. Now that that's out of the way. Look, with that aside, I want to say a couple of things that are on this because I think that people assume that because we're from the Bachelor franchise that we have some sort of like responsibility or link to him or like a connection. A connection. Like I do not know him from a bar of soap. I have never met either of them. I've met them a couple of times, but I don't know them. But I would say that I think sometimes domestic violence really is thought of as being like, it's quite othered. It's like it happens in other families. It's like a quite degenerate. It happens with people that have alcohol or abuse issues. And we really do a good job in our society

Starting point is 00:18:03 of othering domestic violence. And this is such a clear example that domestic violence can happen no matter your social standing, no matter how much money you have, no matter how elite, or what your profile is that you've built. This, to me, is just such a clear example of how deep it runs within our culture, within Australia. And the things that us as women have been screaming about for so long, yelling into the void, about abuse, about the culture of misogyny and I guess around like men's entitlement to women's bodies or men's entitlement to power or ownership or whatever that looks like. But, you know, in saying this, I think that all of us saw that come out in the news and all had the same

Starting point is 00:18:43 disbelief, but also like true disgust that this is something that he could have done. Yeah, it truly doesn't matter who you are, how famous you are, how rich you are, what kind of profile that you have. It is not acceptable or tolerated by anyone here in our specific world, like in Life Uncutt. And it shouldn't be tolerated by anyone. And it's been an really interesting response, actually, like watching what's been happening online since. He's had a mass unfollowing. His work has obviously dropped him as being an ambassador or put him on hold until it goes to court. There's a lot of public facing people that are ambassadors for his fitness program.

Starting point is 00:19:19 They all step down. And so they should. And I would have done the same thing. But just to double down on that, Laura, it was really interesting to see some of the comments that we were getting privately about like making it feel like we had some kind of alliance to him because we were from the Bachelor franchise. I never, don't know the guy from Bar Soap. I think it's absolutely abhorrent and disgusting.

Starting point is 00:19:39 And we don't know exactly what's gone down yet. But we know enough to know he's been arrested charge. and somebody allegedly was taken out of the house that night into an ambulance. And that's all that's been released. The other thing in this as well, and maybe I want to correct what I just said, because I just said, you know,

Starting point is 00:19:54 like I was surprised. I think I was surprised that it was him. Does domestic violence surprise me at all? It doesn't. It really doesn't. And like that's the horrifying and awful part of this. Also, there was a video that's circulating at the moment.

Starting point is 00:20:06 And I think it's really important for us to touch on. On the Friday before Sam's arrest, he posted a very careful. visual video of him talking about midnight snacking. You know, obviously he runs a fitness program. He's talking about how he avoids snacking. I'm going to put in the audio here because I think it's important to listen to because the timing of this and even just the words of it, to me, horrifying is what they are.

Starting point is 00:20:31 It's night over. I talk to snares and we support each other. I get her to hide all the stuff that I like from me. And then even if I'm strangling her to death, she will not give it up. and I also just have some rules. It's a weird thing to say. It's not weird. It's frightening is what it is.

Starting point is 00:20:50 Who uses that language ever? There's never a time in my life where I would describe anything about Matt if I was strangling him to death. And he would never describe me as that. But I also wonder how many people even if, you know, he had, I don't know, 300,000 bowls or something. I wonder how many people would have even thought anything of that because he presented. as such a family man and a wholesome man and a man for women.

Starting point is 00:21:16 That's what shocked me so much is this video was posted prior, which means it went to all his socials. He was super comfortable saying it in front of his audience. His audience is also built on, there is a lot of female empowerment in his fitness app, which makes it just even more disappointing. But I just go as a society, why are we accepting that as a conversation?

Starting point is 00:21:37 There was no ramification for even saying something like that. Is it normalized to say stuff like that? I think it's just because of who he is publicly and the way he presents, what he's done. By all accounts, if you remove this, he is a man that has been helping women for however many years, right, with his female-based apps. He has four daughters and a wife and a beautiful family that, you know, looks all very lovely and wholesome. So I think when someone in that capacity says something like that, most people would say, that was weird to say, but there's no connection to anything else because by all other accounts, he is this wonderful person. now it hits different because there has something else to associate it with. But as a standalone comment, people would be like, well, that was weird.

Starting point is 00:22:19 But your brain doesn't link it to maybe something else is going on. But maybe we should be. Yeah, maybe we should be. Like if people are posting regardless of their status or fame or position or perceived, like you say, support towards women, if a man is posting shit like that or if a woman is saying something that is so violently centered. Should we not be questioning it? Yeah. And I think that that is probably.

Starting point is 00:22:42 the best way of describing it's like not only is it violently centered, but casually violent is the thing that I think is quite alarming. Why would the thought of that being the thing that comes to mind, you know, and I... Like, why is that the forefront? Yeah, and I agree with you, Britt. I do think that, you know, he's obviously built an incredible career around being a stand-up family guy, but that's part of the brand. That brand is incredibly monetized. He sold his business for over $70 million. It has been a lucrative brand to lean into it hard, being the family man, being the stand-up guy. We don't know how the charges are going to unfold. There is a court hearing on Thursday, and we do know that he has been charged with strangulation.

Starting point is 00:23:24 That, for me, is enough for me to form a very strong opinion around him. And lastly, I think I really wanted to, the reason why we wanted to talk about this, even though it's one of those things where the crossover can be a bit dangerous from a legal perspective is because we would hate for you to think that we don't feel as strongly as what we do and that we are avoiding a conversation that's difficult to try and protect ourselves because that is absolutely not and it will never be our prerogative. We care so much about having these discussions around domestic violence. We know that it can live in plain sight. I know from my personal experience that it can live in plain sight. I know what it's like to grow up in a household

Starting point is 00:24:01 where violence is normalized. And it's, it's. it's just truly frightening is what it is. And look, once we know more on Thursday, once this all unfolds, I think we can discuss more about it. But right now, really, the big take home is that it happens all across Australia. It doesn't matter if you're rich, you're famous, it doesn't matter what you have. There are men who behave like this. And this is just such a wake-up call to our culture within Australia that this can exist in every household. A couple of weeks ago, if you guys missed it. It was in a suck or sweet. I was talking about how my suck was that I feel as though at the moment with Poppy, she's just turned one. It was her birthday a little while ago. I feel as though

Starting point is 00:24:43 I know that I'm not going to have any more babies unless something goes terribly wrong. But I know that she is our last child and I'm having this real feeling of like struggling to enjoy the present moment that we're in with her even though I love it so much and I'm so obsessed with her being one simply because I have this feeling of grief that it is moving too quickly. And I keep having these moments of wanting to put her in like a little time capsule and slow it down, knowing that I'm never going to have a one-year-old again. And I've been thinking about a lot more since we had that conversation. And I wanted to unpack it a little bit because I don't think it's something that just applies to parenting. It doesn't just apply to having children.

Starting point is 00:25:27 But it's this feeling of knowing that you're so happy and knowing that you love something as it is so much, but simultaneously feeling this grief that it's not going to last forever and that there is like a finite time to it. And I am finding myself having this feeling on repeat at the moment. Since you've talked to me about this laws, I have had this in every single aspect of my life. Poor Ben, I have spent the last, like this whole year, it has been that on steroids. Our whole last summer in Europe, I was saying to him every single day, I was like, Babe, look up, look around. Like, this is the best time of our life.

Starting point is 00:26:04 Like, we're never going to have this again. If we have kids next year, this time is gone. And I've said that so many times. And he's like, love, I am enjoying it. And he's like, I'm enjoying the moment. I'm like, you don't get it. And I have this panic that this part of my life is over and I'm never going to have it again. And I think people feel it in every aspect of their life because I've had it in dating.

Starting point is 00:26:24 I remember when I knew Ben was the one. I was ecstatic because I met my person and it's all I wanted. But then there's this weird feeling that you get where you're like, oh, I will never experience anything else again, a first date again, anyone else again, getting to notice, like, and it's not that you, it's not that you wanted, you just realize there's a part of your life that is done. I wrote it down in my notes up because it was like the first time I think I really had been able to put into words what the feeling was. And it was like missing something while it's happening.

Starting point is 00:26:53 Like the grief of missing it whilst I'm currently experiencing it. And it really has been quite profound with Poppy. And it makes me feel really emotional because I look at her and I see how much she's changed and she's not walking yet. And we have such a finite amount of time of this period. I know in two months' time she'll be walking. We'll be in a totally different phase. And I just see her sometimes sitting in the high chair or I see her doing things.

Starting point is 00:27:15 And I'm like, I want this, but I want this forever. And how can I can't have this forever? But don't you think you'll get that in every phase? So the walking phase, don't you think then you'll say, oh, I just want to keep you here for Like don't you think that feeling just evolves with you? Yeah, I do. But I also, I guess it's kind of like sad to not be able to like fully enjoy something while you're in it.

Starting point is 00:27:36 And maybe it does come back to this idea of like, you're supposed to enjoy it while it's happening because it's so fleeting and it's not going to be there anymore. But it's the pressure of missing out on it, on the pressure of like feeling as though once it's gone, you're going to miss it for forever. And now that I know that I don't and I'm not going to have any more kids, the feeling has been dialed up. And I never experienced it so much with Mali and Lola. It's a real grief.

Starting point is 00:27:57 only other thing I can compare it to is probably I've experienced in romantic settings. Like I've experienced in like when I've been early stages dating with someone and it's been euphoric. Like completely I was like, this is the person I'm going to marry. I'm going to spend my life with this man. We're like in another country doing amazing things and like everything's so heightened and so incredible. Like genuinely euphoric. And this feeling of like, I know that this is not going to be forever. Like I know that this is not a real thing that can be like bottled up and kept. I know that the realities of life creep in eventually. I know you're probably going to end up being a loser. Like, you know, I just know that this is not real. I know you're going to

Starting point is 00:28:35 cheat on me. I know that I give you two months until you actually cheat on me. But like, I know that this is not real life, but I want to live in this euphoria of this moment forever. It's been an interesting thing to experience. And I think maybe in the past I've had it in a fleeting way, but it's been quite a constant state for me recently. Do you think we spend too much time? This is like giving live laugh, love. But you know the saying, it's happening now, living the present, I think sometimes we do just need to do that. Instead of letting our brains go down that track where we do get carried away of, oh, this is never going to happen again, I'm going to miss this forever. And then you get into this snowball spiral like you're in.

Starting point is 00:29:12 Maybe it's just going back to this very basic life is happening now and just being the present. Don't overthink the future and don't think about the past. And it's taking it back to the basics of enjoy the moment, which is hard. But maybe we let our brains just run away too much. With that, so I, when you kind of described this, Laura, and it's funny that you say you let your brain run away, is I went and did a little bit of research to see if there's any psychology behind this, if there's any studies. And there has been two pretty big studies of thought which describe why your brain does this. And so the first one is called anticipatory nostalgia, which is kind of what you're describing, Laura, about Poppy, where you are already anticipating grieving. And so that's kind of missing the present even before it's gone. And what happens in the study that they've done is that your brain is already making connections that this will be a past memory and is then acting on the fact that it already is in the past even though you're experiencing it in the present. So you're looking at Poppy going, oh my God, she's one, but your brain's already clicking into the fact that she was one. She has been, and you're

Starting point is 00:30:15 already moving, your brain has already skipped you forward. And I think the reason why maybe it's like way more dialed up this time is because I have the reference point of a seven-year-old and a five-year-old. Do you know what I mean? Like, I didn't have that before. I am. I wonder if you guys have felt this in other aspects? I mean, I think that the kid's part is pretty obvious, but I wonder if you've felt it in other moments in life, this feeling of missing out on something while it's simultaneously happening. Maybe it's been your wedding, your honeymoon, or it's been through the dating process. Like, I would love to know what your experience has been of this. Has it been like an inhibitor for you? Like, has it stopped you from being able to enjoy these moments?

Starting point is 00:30:50 Or does the grief just live alongside the joy? And maybe that's what it is for me. Like, I think that the grief lives alongside simultaneously as I have these moments of just like pure joy. Do you know what I grapple with the most? And I'm not a big part of it, right? I never have been, I don't mind a vino here and there, but I'm never going out till 5am. I don't have kids now and I know one day I will. So I know that these are the times that I should be doing that because as soon it's like, the choice is almost gone, right?

Starting point is 00:31:17 So in my head, when I get to a Friday and it's been a massive week of work and you're exhausted and you're tired and all you want to do is like go home. and Netflix and be a swamp donkey. Then I had this battle with like, I'm never going to get this chance to just go out and let loose and be free and dance to all hours in the morning. And like, so my brain is like, go and live your life. And I grapple with trying to have this weird foamow of this period of my life as well. Or what it's supposed to look like.

Starting point is 00:31:44 What it's supposed to look like. Okay, this is a question I want to pose to you both because it's very much on this. And this is what the study was done on. If you know that an experience is finite, does that make it more enjoyable? or more stressful. Because that was the question that they posed. You know a certain period. So for right now, you being no kids, that's finite.

Starting point is 00:32:04 Does that make you more excited, enjoyable, make the most of it? Or does it make you more stressed? Because that was the study they did. And they found out that it was real mixed results where half the people's brains went, oh my God, I have to fill this time. I have to do the right thing. I'm stressed. And the other half was like, oh, it's the last time I can do this.

Starting point is 00:32:20 I'm so excited. I'm so free. And that's where your brain flips between. I think it makes me stressed. And this year only. Interesting. Up until this year, I've been option A, which is just like, Enjoy it.

Starting point is 00:32:32 Oh my God, I'm just so lucky. I'm loving my life. I love my freedom. And this year, because I think in my brain and obviously all the fertility updates, it's made me way more stressful because I do feel like my time has come to an end of living that life. Maybe that's it. The finiteness has become even more acute. Whereas Laura, maybe you're like, okay, I've got a year of Poppy being this little.

Starting point is 00:32:53 You're like, oh, I'm actually going to enjoy it. more rather than stress about it. Yeah, but I also think for me, maybe it comes from the feeling of, and I've said this before, this won't come as a surprise to anyone. Like, I never have had the feeling of being done. I know timing-wise, I'm done. Like, I know I'm not having any more kids. You still don't feel done. But I feel like with three. Never. Like, I don't know if I ever would. You could have 20. I could, yeah, just keep on the mouth. Really? She's a thing, I'm cult. I really envy the people who have children and then have a sense of completeness. And they're just like, I'm finished having kids. I don't.

Starting point is 00:33:25 have that. Like I would have more if money, time, energy and everything else permitted. Can I ask and you might not want to answer? You don't have to answer. When you say like, I could keep going, but there's a multitude of reasons that I just wouldn't, what do you think is the main driving force for not? Like knowing that you could have 20 kids. Is it just the time sharing between the kids? Is it work? Is it like that you'd move house or bigger car? Like what's the, those reasons, you know? I think it's multiple things. It's financial, firstly. Having children is expensive. It's not expensive when they're little it's expensive as they get older. I think I'm, I'm understanding the financial

Starting point is 00:33:59 responsibilities of children more and more as they grow up. And then also it's relationship sacrifices. If I have any more children, I know the impact that will have on my relationship with Matt. I do not want to sacrifice my relationship with him in order to have more children. Like that seems like an unfair thing for both of us. And it also is an emotional relationship sacrifice that my other children will experience. I'm at capacity with the balance. I can't add another child without giving up something. And so either I'd have to give up work. Or one child to get the other.

Starting point is 00:34:31 Yeah, but then that trade them out. You have to give up. You've got poppy now. But then that affects finances. I don't think adding any more would be of a positive benefit now for us. It's so interesting when you hear, and I've never thought of it this way, I'm one of four kids, but it's so interesting when you hear that no two children in the same family were brought up in the same way.

Starting point is 00:34:51 And I'd never thought about it like that. But the first child's not brought up the same as a second child. even if you're in the same house that your parents stay together, everything, it's because all of a sudden, the time changes for that child. And by the time number four comes, like Sheridan, my younger sister was raised completely differently to the four of us in terms of not neglect. But the difference, and like you can speak to this, Laura, the difference with your first child and how, I don't want to say helicopter parenting, it's not that. But when you don't know how to parent yet and everything stresses you out and you want to make everything perfect, by the time the fourth comes,

Starting point is 00:35:24 you realize that, oh, the things I probably worried about at the start, I don't need to worry about as much. I so fundamentally reject the idea that, you know, we've kind of been raised to be like, oh, it's so weird that you can have so many different personalities of kids under the same roof. It makes sense. Absolutely. There is a biological nature to the fact that, like, children have different personalities, but no child has the same experience of their parents. And so you raise every single child differently because of time, money, income, focus.

Starting point is 00:35:52 One was sort of looked after by the older sibling. One was neglected if they were sherry. I don't know where Sharon was half the time. You will never know the impact and we will never know the impact that like the additional dynamics or the change of time has on a child's personality. And I mean it's not as in like not just for you if you're a parent listening to this, but like think about yourself as a sibling. Everyone's experience of life is different and that impacts your personality as well. It's so fascinating. But I think what you're experiencing, Laura, is so relatable and not just to kids to every aspect of life.

Starting point is 00:36:22 Well, look, guys, if you have experienced a version of this, and I don't want it to just be around parenting, if it has presented itself in your life in different ways, like slide on into the discussion group in Facebook. I would love to have solidarity in this, but also just to know in what ways does it present for you guys. How do you manage that and still be able to, like, quote unquote, grieve what's happening, but also live in the now and not miss out on something because you're so worried about this paralysis of losing it. Yeah, I'm already grieving my breasts. I know that once I have kids, everyone says they go south. So I'm having a moment now where I'm like, they might never look like this again. It must be hard breath. It's so hard. I'm joking. Well, it is time for our suck in our

Starting point is 00:37:01 sweet. Our highlights and our low lights of the week, Laura, kick it off. Okay, my suck for the week is that I am 99.9% sure I had COVID. So you know how last week? I'm glad you came in stunning into this tiny enclosed room with no ventilation. Breathed all over us. It's gone. It's gone. Like, I'm good now. You know how last week I said I had like a gastro bug? So then the gastro bug merged into some sort of like weird sinus infection thing whilst I was on Maggie Island. I was fully out for the count for one day. Like I was bedridden. And then I posted on Instagram and I was like, oh my God, it's so weird. I've had this like gastro sinus bug. And everyone's like, Laura, that's COVID. And I was like, oh my God. All of the symptoms were the

Starting point is 00:37:42 same. Yeah, I think it was. To be fair, there's seven of us here. And Laura walked in last week. We're all having a meeting in a small room. And she tells us how sick we are. We're like, oh, you should probably go home. Like we don't really need to get sick. She's like, nah, guys, I know what it is. I ate something, got a little bit upset. And we were like, I don't think that's true. And she's like, it's fine, sits down right next to us. We're like, she was so sure.

Starting point is 00:38:02 To be fair, if you've been listening to the last couple of weeks, Britt did the exact same thing a week and a half prior. So you mate, Sidney here, you were sick and you breathed all over me. Oh, I'd say, bad beer sushi. Oh, yeah. Pogne. Pott, calling kettle. Do you have a sweet? Yeah, yes, I do.

Starting point is 00:38:17 My sweet for the week is that we, on a very last minute whim, So we found out the day before that we got the ability to go and interview Benson Boone, who if you don't know who Benson Boone is. A lot of people in the comments on Instagram were like, I've never even seen this guy. The biggest song of the year. He sings. This is beautiful. Please.

Starting point is 00:38:40 Okay, sorry about that, everyone. That was a lot. That was a lot. But he is a enormous, enormous singer star. We love him. I love his music. And he was just a fucking delight. He was such a lovely person.

Starting point is 00:38:53 to interview. We're all like sold of the earth, very funny. I know a couple of people were like, why was the interview so short? We did cover that on the app. It was a press junket. 20 minutes is all we got. I loved it. And he did, well, I mean, look, will he follow through? He did invite us backstage to the show to continue the interview because he said this is the best interview I've ever done, quote, unquote, allegedly. And credit to Britt and Laura, what's really interesting. So when these guys are doing like a press junket interview, you'll often have a cameraman or a producer or someone and they're standing there and they do the rap signal, which is this big little hand thing. So they put their hand in a circle to be like, you need to finish.

Starting point is 00:39:30 I'm standing there. This guy wrapped Britain Laura probably for 10 minutes and they just kept going. And honestly, credit to you guys, because Benson was loving it. You guys were having a good chat. This man behind the camera was like, finish the interview. And you're like, I'm blind. I can't see you. One more question.

Starting point is 00:39:47 Yeah, we just kept going. So look, that is in our, look, it's from last week. It's our Friday interview, Benson Boo. It's such a quick and easy listen, but he's just a delight. Go and have a listen to that episode. I absolutely loved that interview. So if you had a bit of a unsubscribe this week. So I don't, I suck.

Starting point is 00:40:01 I don't usually jump in here, but I must say this for all of my fellow people out there who are moth afraid. I hate the Sydney moth swarm. I am in a pit of despair. The moth plague that is currently facing Sydney, they're giant in size, they're giant in numbers. They're in danger. They were on my bus this morning. text Britt and Lauren said, look, I quit. I actually can't come to work in these conditions. The moths were through the bus. So if you are experiencing the moths warm, let me tell you,

Starting point is 00:40:30 you're not alone. And it's a horrible time for all of us. The bogon moths. I hate them so much. I think that they're lovely. I love them. I was in the bottle brush tree with the boughon moths on the weekend. I might like them too, and you should be saving them. I just think they're beautiful. I have never felt less supported on this podcast. I'm so afraid of moths. If you listen to the first episode I was on with you guys, you ask me my greatest fear and my greatest fear is moths and that is because they just, when they die, they disappear into dust and I don't know where they go. They just, you hit them and then, whoosh, dust. Where do they should need? Where do they go? That's why they're in danger. Where do they go? Because they have ghost butterflies. Well, they are supposed to

Starting point is 00:41:10 be moving on in the next two weeks. Thank God. Well, you can suck with me, everyone who hates the moths. I'm there. What are your suck in sweets for it? I don't really have a suck, but I have a really cute Sweet. Okay. So we got a really cute review coming this morning and I want to read it to you. Five stars from your newest lifer. I wanted to take a second to write this review because I am a brand new lifer. I've been listening for the last few months and I just want to say how much I love the show in the community and they mean to me already. Britt, hearing you be so open and vulnerable about your fertility journey, your long journey to getting healthy embryos, your most recent infatility news, hearing everything you guys have gone through has made me feel so lucky. I know

Starting point is 00:41:47 how hard it's been for you as I've been on the journey. In sharing your story, you've brought comfort, hope and somehow even laughter to thousands of people going through the hard times as well. Speaking of, I personally love listening to your laugh. That was my favourite part. And Laura, I know you worry you can't always show up as a friend the way you think you want to, but the way you love Brut is written all over this show. You hold space, you carry the heavy moments with grace, and you always bring laughter and light when it's needed most. What you have created and your bond makes life uncut feel like a real home and a family. That's why after spending my first few months listening to your voices every single day,

Starting point is 00:42:25 I can't wait to spend the next six months growing and join Life Uncut family as the newest tiny member. See you in 2027. Wait. Oh my God. We've had a newest life for listening for a few months. That's why my boobs are so big. I know. Oh my God, honey.

Starting point is 00:43:04 It's a review from the little baby. Oh, my God. Yeah, I've been keeping that in. I don't even have words. And I also, can you stop? Can you stop with doing announcements at the end of episodes? There's no more. And I'm done.

Starting point is 00:43:22 And I have a bone to pick with you because you have known about every pregnancy of mine before Matt ever even knew I was. pregnant. I have told you. And now we are four months in or three and a half months in. We're in. Well, I did because every time you told me, I was like, I am so on it, but I was also like, laws, do it on Mike. Stop talking. I was like, do it on Mike. Let's bring everyone in. I don't even have words for how happy I am for you guys. Like, I am speechless. I'm so, so happy for you. You, and I know, obviously we're going to say goodbye and then we're going to do a whole other record with all the questions, but I just, like, I know.

Starting point is 00:44:00 I know. I know. You don't have to say less. I just know. I don't know. I don't know you're going to be an amazing mom. I know you're going to be an amazing mom. I know you're going to be amazing dad. I'm so happy for you guys.

Starting point is 00:44:12 I just like, look, I'm fucking stoked. Yeah. I don't know what kind of a mom will be. I'll be a mom. You can hand it over to me. I'll do the one. You're once when I'm reminiscing about missing out of Poppy being one, I'll have another baby. Do you know this whole episode?

Starting point is 00:44:24 I was like, oh, thank God. She's not finished because I'm going to. I'm going to be dropping this baby over. Thank God she still was. I was like, so why is it you want more? What are you want about them? Is it just that you didn't want to be pregnant, but you want to look after them? It's just, it's my favourite thing ever.

Starting point is 00:44:40 It's been a long time coming. A very long time coming. And, yeah, obviously we're ecstatic. So much to tell you. It's been very hard to keep it in. But now I'm, do you know how the relief now it's out? I'm not sucking in anymore. I've been wearing pulling on these.

Starting point is 00:44:56 I'm going to let it. I am so happy for you guys. I just like, okay, there's a lot to unpack you. And you know what, guys, go and subscribe to Patreon. We love love. We took a video of our conception, so we'll put on Patreon.

Starting point is 00:45:11 Oh my gosh, look, I know we have to wrap this, so rock on. You guys know the drill. Tell your mom, tell you, dad, tell you dog, tell your friends. Tell my little embryo. The video, my dad.

Starting point is 00:45:23 Hey, my God.

Life Uncut - Britt's Big News (For Real This Time)

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