Life Uncut - Britt’s Ghost Is Back & Perez Hilton The Dark Side of Going Live

Episode Date: August 11, 2026

Hey Lifers!  We kick off with a deep and extremely necessary debate about jean-washing frequency (there is a day, and you know the day), plus Britt's new favourite purchase that solves the dreaded camel toe problem. Then Britt drags Laura back into ghost territory with fresh evidence her house is haunted, courtesy of her very unsettled dog, Delilah. From there we get into the new rom-com everyone's talking about: a woman builds herself the perfect husband out of rattan, and the internet cannot get enough. It's got us talking about the viral dating trend taking over TikTok, male yearning, and why women are so drawn to men who wear their feelings on their sleeve.  Then we shift into a much heavier conversation. We unpack what happened with Perez Hilton's TikTok live stream, and the bigger questions it raises about live broadcasting, consent, morbid curiosity, and our collective responsibility as viewers when something like this unfolds in real time. Please note: this section includes discussion of self-harm, so skip ahead if you need to. If you or someone you know needs support, Lifeline is available 24/7 on 13 11 14. TIMESTAMPS 00:00 – Intro & how often should you wash your jeans 04:50 – Britt's haunted house update: Delilah and the dining table ghost 12:20 – Wicker: the new rom-com about a woman who builds her own husband 20:30 – Male yearning: the dating trend taking over TikTok 35:00 – ⚠️ Trigger warning: Perez Hilton's TikTok live stream 44:00 – Morbid curiosity, "car crash" psychology & why we can't look away 54:40 – Suck and Sweet   Keep your questions coming! Slide into the Life Uncut DMs at @lifeuncutpodcast on Instagram You can watch us on Youtube Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Hosted by Britt Hockley & Laura Byrne Produced by Keeshia Pettit Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford & Lachy Pugsley Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! XxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Live Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. I just love that you did that twice. I had to, sorry. Do you know I was editing the podcast the other day and you joked about me coming on strong. I wasn't a joke. Oh sorry. It wasn't of joke i was telling you that you come in really high pitch nothing wrong with it but we come in hot for sure no it wasn't so much that it came in high pitched it just sounded like i was drunk hi guys i'm back i'm back not gonna lie sometimes sounds like we're high oh sometimes i feel like i am to be honest can i say you know what the worst day of the week is it's not a set day i can't tell if this is a rhetorical question a real question or a joke it's a bit of both okay everything

Wednesday. No, no. Like I said, it's not actually a set day. It's whatever day you wash your jeans. Do you have a pair of jeans that you wear more often than you should? These are them for anyone who's watching on YouTube. I wear these jeans about four days a week. Yeah, I think everyone has them.

And then once a week I wash them. Do you? Yeah, maybe once a fortnight. You know you're not supposed to wash denim. You're supposed to wash denim really infrequently. I don't know if I believe that. And I remember the day when Subhi, Subhi tried to convince us all that instead of washing our pants, we should put them in the freezer.

And I still, I'm still fucking haunted by that year of my life where I didn't wash my skinny leg jeans. I just froze them to take the smell out. To take the smell out. I think that's so disgusting. What the fuck were we doing? I think it's a different story when they're skinny leg tight jeans. There's no aeration gap.

But I think when they're like loose and baggy. But jean specialists say you're not supposed to wash your jeans. Imagine that being a job title. I'm a jean specialist. There would be 100%. No, I remember the era where we were all sold that Sass and Bide and Subie jeans didn't need to be washed, or you could prolong the washing by putting them in the freezer to refresh them.

And I don't actually think it worked. No, I do. I wash my jeans like once a fortnight, but then there's one day, there's one day where they actually don't fit me properly. And my poor labia is inside like, help me. I know the day well. I know the day well. Everything hurts.

And my jeans are currently inside me, but I'm okay. I'm currently eating my jeans from the bottom down. From the bottom up. Well, like I said, nom, nom, nom. Anyway, we're here. Did anything else happen to you this week? Is that what we've got? Do you know so many women, before we move on,

so many women are sitting in their cars, on their run, on the treadmill right now being like abso-fucking-lutely. Like it is the worst day. I experience it because I don't wash my jeans that much unless they're physically dirty. If there's a stain, I do. but I don't just like wash them once a week because I love the feel and the shape when they get comfy and I hate them going back and the smell delicious but I'm like a weight fluctuator

so like it's not unusual for me to fluctuate between a couple of kilos every couple of weeks like a bit heavier a bit lighter a bit heavier it's just what my body does around period and whatever else and on those days it's cooked I'm physically uncomfortable you cannot even take a step it's like when your labia's gone down one leg hole and you're like get back up here it's like carpeting sorry i know it's too much but you know you say that there's going to be women who are like you know on the treadmill and walking around doing things relating to this there will be women sitting in their cars in jeans that are too tight for them regretting every decision that they made which is currently where i'm at in life it is for you i hear you it is worse when you sit

down you know what i bought yesterday this is just unrelated i wasn't planning on making this content but i bought the i bought the camel toe padded undies they're so good if anyone hasn't ever worn them they are just like the best thing you'll ever buy what do you buy them for like what do you wear them in because really good for well it would be good for you with your labia and tight jeans because it's like a little bit of padding between it's just in your undies it's like it's just undies and a g-string but it's thicker and so I wear them when I'm wearing exercise tights or anything where I'm going to get a wicked camel toe sometimes I just put those on what about like period underwear does it not do the same because that's kind of like if you wear a moaty body would

that not give you the same desired effect no because it hits different right like a modibodi or something generally speaking because I have period underwear but they're like high-waisted thick cotton because they're made to be comfy whereas these are like a seamless g-string so you can still wear them under load just because it has the padding at the bottom it's a game changer and I didn't even think of what to type in I was trying to search them last night on Amazon I just typed in camel toe undies and there's so many that come up so anyway we're not on vibes and unsubscribes that's my vibe though you have vibed them before and I need to yeah and I'm gonna go down that train I'm there I'll meet you I'll meet you at the checkout well the thing that

I wanted to discuss this morning I always have a bit of trepidation about bringing it to the podcast and bringing it to you Laura because trepidation on says yeah trepidation because maybe something like this comes up three times four times a year and every time I know I know how you're gonna meet me and I know what you're gonna say but this is undeniable what have you been doing like climbing down a rock face or something to the edge of the water no it's about ghosts oh shut up and see I saw it coming I knew you just never believe me when I talk about ghosts I do actually I've warmed to it over the years I have after my papa visited me because your papa came to you and said put your fucking head in I'm real and then you're like maybe Brittany's been

right all these years I mean if you're a longtime lifer you know that like twice a year I talk about ghosts or spirits or something I do believe in it I have seen them call me crazy if you want you're either a believer or non-believer I hired a new social media girly for Tony May and she's like lovely she's a ghost no it's not you can't see her you haven't been able to find her it's weird no content's getting made I realize she's a ghost no she's lovely she's normal she's chatty she's like vibe lovely to have in the office and all of a sudden one day you know when you like started a new job and you have to do I was trying we're trying to film like a social media video which is like a get to know Tanika is her name she'll laugh if she hears this and then I annoyingly

asked her what is like give me one fun fact about you like no one wants to be asked that no one wants to be asked what's a fucking fun fact or a party trick I also hate that like no one likes that question I don't go to parties I have no tricks I'm not a dog and she um she deadpan was like oh I see ghosts and everyone in the office was like are you okay and she was like yeah I do yeah bye but I don't talk to them because I don't want them to hang around and she was full deadpan I didn't know whether or not she was having a laugh she's not but also why haven't you told me that I have a fellow ghoster out there come to the come to the Tony May office you guys can hang out talk about your ghosts well so I've been in my house Laura's old house now for it must

to be five years and periodically I see and I feel I don't know who or what it is but I know there's something in there I know I've seen it and I've had experiences probably about six months ago I don't know if we'll be able to find this audio but there was like a lightning bolt in my room remember when I said I saw a flash of lightning you laughed in my face and a lot of life has came out of the woodworks to talk about their like lightning bolt inside experience well so my dog Delilah and this has happened now twice in the last week so this ghost I don't know what he's doing in there they say dogs can sense things right and my dog inside never gets scared never barks never growls she will sleep all day she'll cuddle you she's very placid nothing and twice in

the last week in my lounge room and she always looks at the exact spot she whips her head up when we're just chilling watching tv and she looks at like this one particular spot of the hallway and then she follows something through the room there's nothing there she's following it and she is looking at this thing adamantly and then she will start to get her hair up and she'll start to growl and she's like there is something in the room with her and I can see her her eyes don't dart around it smoothly follows this thing and then it locks into the dining room table and i was telling claire about it so claire is our gm you've heard us talk about her she's also a good friend of us for a long time and she's also one of delilah's dog sitters and i was telling her

about only this morning on the way to work and she said oh my god she's like i was at your house dog sitting a couple of weeks ago and she did exactly that and she locked in she got up got in between me and the dining room and was staring growling at something like she was protecting it I reckon there's a ghost that comes in sits at my dining room table and I don't know if he's having his dinner I don't know what he's doing but it's the one room and the one exact spot that Delilah senses there is a ghost every single day what like every time we do about this like is there surely with all the people that listen to this podcast there's got to be some ghost buster out there that can come and do some feng shui on the room and burn some sage I don't know what are

What can they do? Know the life isn't going to come through. I know some of you think I'm crazy and I know other people have these experiences. I'm not bothered because it hasn't done anything to me. Write in and tell me your experiences. What has happened that even if you were a non-believer and now you're a believer, like what was the thing that happened that pushed you over the edge? I'm not.

I don't think you're crazy. I know I joke about it. Out the stuff maybe. That's not the thing that tipped me over the edge. Let's be real. No, I'm not a non-believer and I'm not someone who thinks you're crazy. I'm always enthralled in the stories when you tell them I just also find it funny and I'll never not find someone saying I think there was a ghost in my house a bit funny I don't know why

did you ever experience anything living in that house like in hindsight now with a sort of a believer lens no no I fucking live there for so long the ghosts don't care about me I don't think they don't I'm a very unhaunted person and maybe like no one's haunting me nothing there's no supernatural are you jealous do you want to be haunted twice what's wrong with me haunt me yeah why is no ghost obsessed with me huh I live there too I don't know no I lived there for what three years had both kids in that apartment I think it's a relatively new building it's not like you're living in an old kind of you know old halfway house or something I think it's pretty old but I also think somebody once told me that it's because a ghost doesn't necessarily I can't

believe how much of a deep dive we're doing sorry a ghost doesn't necessarily stay in a house and just stay there for whoever comes in sometimes they say they know when someone is able to sense them and they'll follow those people so it might have always been there and you didn't know but maybe now i'm there it's like oh she's she believes me oh so you're really doubling down that the ghost didn't want me okay well something that has been haunting me some of you are going to know what i'm talking about and other people are going to think that this is the even more rogue than brit's ghost story there is a new movie that is coming out in November it is called Wicca it is a rom-com and basically it's around a unloved woman who lives in a fishing village and she's like over

the fact that no man I guess like there's no suitable man for her to marry she's kind of been the undateable person of the town and she goes to this basket maker and asks the basket maker to make her a husband and he does oh does he ever he makes her a husband out of rattan and the internet rattan or rattan is it rattan or rattan I think that's like the million dollar question no one actually knows is it boucle or boucle it's boucle that's I say rattan but I think it's rattan I don't think anyone cares I say rattan yeah because I'm from Wollongong people care I think we should figure it out I think a lot of people say rattan I'm just not I don't know the answer anyway okay Well, look, the basket maker makes her a husband out of ratten

and it has taken over the internet. It has taken over my feed. It has also taken over my mind because I never thought that being obsessed with a man made of hay was going to infiltrate my 2026 bingo card, but here we are. Laws, I have seen this and I am going to say I'm completely on board. So just so you can get the image, the man that was created from baskets is played by Alexander, is it Svavsgaard?

Svavsgaard? Scar Scar. Scar Scar. You know, that really hot guy. It's a rat and ratana or boucle. Anyway, you know who he is. If you don't Google him, he's super hot. But somehow they've made a man, a basket man who has a basket willy, like really desirable. Like there are actually a lot of people pining over him. I get it. And I get it. It just does make you wonder if how many women are like, fuck yeah, like I would pay to be with this guy. Makes you realize how low the bar is. Yeah. I think that that's the unfortunate thing though, right? Like, and even in this rom-com, from what I've seen so far. Obviously, it's not out yet. I cannot wait to watch it.

It is apparently the horniest rom-com that's ever existed. All of the other women in the village, in the little fishing town, realize that they are dissatisfied with their relationships. They've married men who do not cater to them, don't take care of them. They're carrying the full mental load when you could just be fucking a basket instead. Ikea used this as a brilliant launchpad for one of their advertising social media things recently. They did this carousel post, and it has gone off its tits. Like it's been so well liked, well shared, well played. So Ikea posted a carousel and it was like this is husband material

and it was all their return furniture. I actually love that. But I think, don't quote me, The Wicker Man, this was originally based off like there was a short story and a film back in like 1970 or something. Like this, The Wicker Man has been done before in different contexts. Like this is the first big Hollywood-esque kind of film. But I think it was based off a short story.

Do you know what I did in university? It was one of my university courses. From the stories you've told, you've done and did a lot. I did basket making at university. Oh, you told us that, yeah. Basketry. I could have made him. I could have made this man for myself and my dating woes would never have been.

I understand basket making in high school. What university course were you doing to do basket making? Fine arts. It's a real degree, guys. I did basketry for two semesters. I was almost going to major in basketry for a while, and I remember I would drive around in my car picking up. Major in basketry?

Shut the fuck up. I can't. Wait for it. I would drive around in my little yellow Hyundai Getz picking up jacaranda branches at the time of year where the jacarandas drop all the fucking branches. I would put the jacaranda branches into a bath to soak them, so my entire bath was full for a week of jacaranda branches,

and then I would make baskets out of it. That was a degree. That was a degree. I'm embarrassed for you. So basically this gives you, you're basically an expert. You're like a professor in this. You can speak to this. I just wish I'd thought it through well enough in my 20s.

I could have made my own husband, could have made my own wicker penis. Like there's so many things. You still can make a wicker penis. That's what I want to see from you next week. And you won't get pregnant. Mac comes home. We don't need real dildos anymore, honey. I can make it out of a jack-o'-lantern bush.

Mate, you've lost the plot. You've actually lost the plot. All of those things were a choice. I don't want to take that away from anyone that is making baskets. I understand that basket making is a thing. I don't understand how it's a thing in university. Like I feel like I understand it's a thing because someone has a passion for it or they're good at it, but I just personally can't see

where it fit into a uni degree. Well, it used to be an essential requirement in that we used to. For hunters and gatherers. Yes, exactly, in that like the. Laura, you didn't go to uni in the 1600s. You went to uni like 10 years ago. But back in the day, I could have caught us all fish with the baskets that I made.

I would have caught the fish. I would have been great in like a zombie apocalypse because like if we don't have any, I don't know, machinery to make baskets, I could make them for you. You'd be the last person I am asking to join me in an apocalypse. I would trip you over and sacrifice you to the zombies. I was like, she's fucking useless. She can't make anything.

Okay, continue. Yeah, let's go. So male yearning, that's the next thing we wanted to talk about. Right off, fresh off the back of a wicker man that we were all obsessed with is a new cultural phenomenon in the dating world. And it's called male yearning. It comes every week, doesn't it? There's always some new phenomenon.

I don't think I'm calling this a phenomenon. It's not, but it's a cultural moment or a movement. Maybe it's happening deep in the TikTok webs. Well, it's the antidote to what we saw last year, which was nonchalant dating. It was dating without caring. And I think that for a lot, and I don't want to speak for people who are currently dating because obviously it's been a little while since I've been in the dating pool, but I think for a very long time. And even when I was still dating pre-bachelor and pre-meeting Matt, the way in

which dating had become incredibly transactional and the way in which it was like, you constantly could replace the person you were dating by simply going online and flicking open to all of your new options, that there was like this sense of lack of commitment. One thing that hasn't changed in the past 10 years since we've been doing this podcast is the fact that for a lot of people dating is transactional and it feels as though the options are I shouldn't say the options are endless but people treat dating as though the options are endless well the reason I love this idea around male yearning and I mean TikTok has its day right everything on TikTok is a movement for like a month or two and then there's something new but at the moment it's what everyone's talking

about and it's come off the back of things like Jacob Elordi in Wuthering Heights it's heated rivalry the guys in heated rivalry it's off campus it's the idea that these men are completely infatuated and in touch with their emotions and instead of the traditional term of yearning which is like secretly pining for somebody it's no longer a secret they're openly adoring they're openly going after what they want they're obsessed with somebody they're telling them how they feel their emotions are laid out on the table and I think as women we absolutely love to see this movement because it's the antithesis of what we've been seeing for years with toxic masculinity the andrew tates of the world and it got me thinking so laura and i've been having this

discussion about how we feel about male yearning yeah i was like brit do you want anyone to yearn over you would you want to be yearned for yes i yearn me no i love the idea of it because for me it's for me in its simplified form the idea of male yearning is just literally saying i'm going to be open with my communication i'm not going to be playing games i'm not going to keep my feelings to myself I love this idea and I think if there are movies that are happening culturally right now they're going to make men feel that they can be more in touch with their emotions and they can communicate better that they're allowed to cry that they're allowed to go after what they want I think that's wonderful like I think that's something to be celebrated I think maybe where

it gets a little bit interesting and tricky and might cross some boundaries if we mistake that yearning for something more is that yearning does that cross over and become obsession is that yearning entitlement um yeah well is it desired I think the number one thing is desirability like it's only cute if you want it yeah but I think like you know and like obviously there could be a dark side to how it could be interpreted but with this idea of like yearning in terms of dating like having a guy just absolutely besotted by you and not be it's Sure. And not be afraid or ashamed to be honest about it. Because I think for so long within dating, like we said, we've prioritized and celebrated like being nonchalant, being like

unbothered, don't double text, you know, don't allow someone, you know, a bit of like the game playing, like we celebrate game playing because we're like, you don't want to put all your cards on the table for fear of rejection or, you know, coming on too strong or all those sorts of things. It is the opposite to that. It is like this idea of there being 300 people in a room and that person is just besotted with you they don't want anyone else they only want you and I mean is it a bit of a fantasy is it real I don't know I think that maybe in some I kind of feel like that that's what the bachelor does that that's what it creates is this idea of like and I think about like my relationship with Matt at the start the honey badger didn't earn

for me just let me think no no well it's a sense of being chosen right so I choose me I'm not so no sorry but did you feel chosen i felt yearned for i felt a little bit yearned for but i was thinking about this in terms of like i think i i think i did this in my 20s like not that i yearned for anyone but i think i wanted this i think i wanted to be the girl that like left my exes a bit fucked up sorry okay how do i describe it better i wanted them like when i was no longer in their life, like once we were broken up and it was all done, I wanted to be like. Once they took our Navy O against you.

No, not that. Once the relationship was over, like I wanted to be the person that impacted them enough that they pined afterwards. Do you know what I mean? Like I wanted to live rent free in their brains. You want to be the one where they were like, what if? What if? Or look at you like the one that got away or.

Yeah, I wanted to be. I don't. My biggest mistake was leaving her. I wanted them to yearn for me. Do I still want that? Every time I see her in those tight jeans and labia, I yearn. I think what I'm trying to say is I wanted to have that impact on someone. Whether I did or I didn't is up and open for debate.

But I wanted to feel as though I was important enough. And I think that that's what a lot of women want to feel. They want to feel as though of all the people that could be chosen, that they are the one that actually gets picked in the end. and you know that movie that we all kind of like got sold to for a while it was he's just not that into you right and it's like you're not the exception everyone wants to feel like they're the exception everyone wants to feel like they're the one that made an impact and is chosen everyone wants to be yearned for i don't even know if everyone wants to like i know what you're

saying and i think that most people would feel that in a sense because even if you thank god one of us knows what i'm saying i think i know what you're saying i do but it's even if you've decided to leave a relationship everybody wants to think that that person still kicks themselves for the way they treated you or like I think that about some of my exes I was like I hope they look at me now and kick themselves yeah like it's like I mean they don't actually live right in my head but I understand it but I think it comes down to desirability and there's something interesting that happened on Love Island now I don't watch Love Island USA so I don't even know these people but his name is Bryce Detchloff and he came out as like the superstar because there was this one

scene apparently where he was just crying they got separated him and his partner he was matched with he was crying over her just openly being like I don't want to be without her kind of thing like very vulnerable putting his feelings out on the line she felt the same and overnight his followers went up like 155,000 people after that scene and I think that that's what it it pushes into is the fact that as women we love to see it because it's not the norm we love to see a man that we know that in the men's world right like it's not cool to express your emotions like that like play it cool don't text it back make her want you whatever it's the emotional vulnerability to see a man that's like i fucking know what i want and it's you and i don't care who knows it i'm gonna scream

it from the rooftops i'm gonna cry over you i'm gonna move heaven on earth to be with you that is so desirable to a woman because we've not known that we've never known that we always know that we have to play these games or we've always known that men don't express their emotions and we've got to read between the lines I think it's the same reason as a lot of women want men to cry at a wedding I often we had a listener writing recently about that I often wonder if we want them to cry for us personally or we want them to cry because of what it means for everyone to see everyone to see that he's expressing he loves you so much that he will put those feelings on the line for you and he doesn't care who sees do you know what maybe this is a little bit of a side

tangent but I think of Luke Bateman so there's been a lot of discussion online about Luke Bateman recently if you don't know who he is he is book talk he was actually a bachelor randomly but he kind of became uber famous so he was a footballer turned bachelor star when it was like one of the three bachelors and then he became uber famous on social media through book talk and that was kind of like his world that he started. Now he's got hundreds. I don't even, I'm not going to pretend to know hundreds and hundreds of thousands of people following him on TikTok. He also just presented at the Senate talking about gambling. He's been very prolific online recently. It's an interesting one because he has gone from being the guy that talks about

cheating on every girl to being like, you know, really problematic in relationships to having this like very visible social shift online where he's very vulnerable. He cries about the books he reads he's very open with his emotions and in a response to that women are like oh finally a man with vulnerability but there has been like another side to that conversation and about him specifically that's been popping up online which was like hold on a second hold on we are now celebrating and throwing our panties at a man who literally will say I've cheated on every single girl but I've cries and reads and because he said that he realizes the error of his ways you know like I mean, I guess what I'm trying to say here is, is that maybe he is, maybe he's totally

reformed and like throw your panties at the man. I'm not stopping anyone from doing it, but it's pretty easy to ride this wave. It's pretty easy to like, you know, if you think that it's going to get you that kind of response, it's pretty easy to cry, show vulnerability if that's now what's in fashion and that's now what's required. And I think this idea of male yearning could be played by a skilled player. It's tricky that one. And we weren't expected to talk about this Luke Bateman guy, but now that we're here.

Sorry, I didn't yet. But I'm also not saying that Luke is a player. I'm just saying. We don't know him. I'm just saying if you're a really good player, it's a good play. Well, the thing, because everything you've said is correct, right? He was a rugby player. He was macho.

He has openly said he's cheated, quote, on literally every girlfriend he's ever had. He was a gambler. He owed money. There's a lot of things that if you looked at it on a piece of paper, you'd be like, could be a red flag. Not that into that. But then he has this other side to him that has become what he's been known for, which is the reading which is discussing books which is showing his feelings emotionally vulnerability and

I've seen him crying quite a few times over a book or a moment or being really raw and I do sometimes get stuck between just because he was one and now this isn't me sticking up for him it's not me going against him but just because somebody was one thing in the past doesn't mean they can't also be this person and Luke could have always been this person but never felt like he could be because he was playing rugby right like he didn't feel like he could go to the change room and say hey boys have you read Wuthering Heights it was so beautiful like imagine it made me cry for days no so I do love what he's doing like I do love that he is and at the end of the day I have to wonder is it hurting anyone if it is slightly performative at the end of the day I do think it

is beneficial to a lot of men that are watching that that it's giving them permission to also feel something and also be vulnerable and also learn to read yeah I agree I agree but I think maybe the skeptic in me is like but ladies keep your eyes open you know I think that yearning could be weaponized once again not saying that that's what's happening here but it is a possibility and I've definitely been in relationships with people in the past who have used emotional vulnerability as a way of making me feel more connected or making me feel like the relationship was far more intensified like you know crying about the fact that they're done x y and z and being so sorry for it but then actually the behavior doesn't change it's like they use that

as a way of creating closeness yeah and that's because it does yeah it does absolutely i even think about myself and ben like ben's not an emotional person ben has always pushed people away in the past doesn't feel a need to cry about something or talk about something he just tucks it away in a box and moves on and the very few times in the last four years that i have seen him emotional quite emotional a hundred percent it stands out and it changes the dynamic in the relationship because you realize oh my god they trust me enough to be that person or they're opening up enough when they haven't in the past whatever it is it brings you this sense of of closeness and that's why I mean like you said you're like I loved when they did that like it

made me feel closer to them it does so I understand why people do it but it's still so rare and so sporadic that when we see a man do it it literally causes a social media craze like that's we've coined it we're fucking coined the male yearning just because we like to see men open up and communicate it's insane it is but it's also fascinating to me that it happens in cycles like that now because of the conversations around toxic like it is you can read it like a literal book because we've had so many conversations around toxic masculinity because for so long has been this nonchalant dating. Now it's like we've demanded the opposite. We've demanded a reform and the reform and the antidote to that is this concept and this conversation that's now

coming up online. Body and Soul did an article on it if you want to find out more, but it is male yearning. It is having the guy cry and pine over you, not in a way that's like over-crossing your boundaries or obsessive, but like this real intentional want to be with you. And I think that that is what a lot of people are after in relationships. They just want to be fucking chosen. They just want to be wanted and fucking tell everyone too. Be a basket for God. I can't wait for you to bring me a basket next week.

Before we get into this next part, this is a very heavy turn in terms of the conversation. And we want to put out a trigger warning for anyone who this might be a hard listen for. We're talking about self-harm, but we do think that this is a really important conversation and one that's worth having. So if it is triggering for you, please jump ahead in the episode or you can listen to another episode in the feed. This happened on August 4th and it's something that we in our group chat have been talking about since it unfolded.

I know that it has definitely taken up a lot of the media landscape recently, but if you haven't heard about it, I'm going to set it up briefly because I don't want to go into the very, very gory details of this. Perez Hilton, who if you don't know who Perez Hilton is, he is and has been for a very long time, a very prolific celebrity reporter and has reported on some pretty, I mean, I would say that there are some people that have quite strong feelings about his reporting style over the years. He's known to be quite ruthless and controversial. He's known to be quite controversial and push a lot of boundaries and cross a lot of boundaries with a lot of people. So there are a

lot of people in Hollywood that weren't on his side. Yeah. Well, look, he started a TikTok live from his home, which was on Tuesday night. And now apparently he was experiencing at the time an acute mental health crisis. Now, during this live stream, he very seriously harmed himself. There was a substantial amount of blood and viewers watched the events unfold in real time. There were multiple viewers that reported contacting emergency services. So as it was unfolding, people were reporting the TikTok live. They were also calling the local police to try and get him help because this went beyond just self-harm. It was a horrific, horrific watch. and it was something that was stayed online for far longer than what anyone would have anticipated

it was live and visible to watch for over half an hour on tiktok's feeds yeah so basically the start of the live to the end he was just self-harming his face his body everywhere and i was basically online immediately after i didn't see it but as soon as i logged into instagram everything was about this right crazy and so i was like what and there were so many more videos and photos available, it was removed very, very quickly. And I think don't go and look for it. It's horrific. It's not something anyone should watch.

But because I was online quite fresh, I did see it. And you couldn't – well, let me describe it a little bit because this isn't the conversation we want to have. We want to have a far broader conversation, a more zoomed-out conversation about greater responsibility surrounding this for media services. but for context you almost couldn't see any of his skin that wasn't covered in blood like his entire body it was very confronting and I cannot imagine the trauma that not only is Perez going through obviously to be in that situation but the people that unsuspectingly and unknowingly

logged on to their TikTok and watched half an hour of this thinking that they can't control it they can't help him. They are seeing something before their eyes. It's truly horrific. And I cannot imagine the impact it has had on so many people. Yeah. And I just want to reiterate what you said, Britt. Please don't go and look for the images of this. Please don't go and seek out this content. I think we've described for you enough how horrific it actually is. I was seeing screenshots being sent around in group chats. I was seeing links being shared. It is not something that anyone should or needs to seek out. The information's out there in terms of the story, but in terms of the actual visuals of this, that is not what we are promoting on this episode at

all. The conversation we wanted to have more so isn't about responsibility or liability, but it's around live and this idea of live broadcast. And I found this really, really fascinating and also incredibly sad. So live broadcast for so long has been something that was reserved to media streaming agencies, to televisions, to networks, to radio. And for the most part live broadcast has always come with a safety net it's always come with a team surrounding it it's come with producers and soundies and people who can buffer say cut the content let's go to a commercial break like there's always been a safety net that safety net exists for people who are on camera but it also exists for the viewers as well to try and I guess like safeguard the

viewers from watching something that they haven't consented or wanted to watch yeah most people don't realize that mainstream media in terms of live TV shows, live voting, live radio isn't live per se. It's got a delay. It's live with a delay. And it's exactly for that reason so that it can avoid anything happening that they don't want to make to air. So it's live as close as it can be without being live. Well, and also like some networks even have like content controls in terms of like, you know, I think about Kyle and Jackie O for example, their radio show was live. that they had two separate senses. So people that would just listen to, which is crazy that some of the content actually made it to air, but they had two senses, which would dump the content if they

needed to, because of like swearing or inappropriate content, whatever it was. Now, this is something that doesn't exist on social media. It's something that doesn't exist on TikTok. It doesn't exist on Instagram, but yet we all essentially have in our hands via our phone and via our social media apps, the ability to broadcast live without any vetting, without any constraints or responsibilities. And what is evident from what has happened to Perez is just how terrifying that can be when someone is in the most extreme mental health condition, when they're going through the most extreme and devastating moments of their life, being able to accessibly press a button and instantly broadcast that to the hundreds of thousands, the thousands, the millions, whoever

is watching it really does call to question are you able to consent to being live if you're in a manic mental episode well no the answer is no but there's no alternative because never in a million years are we going to have the accessibility or possibility of having a live with a four second delay where there is a sensor there's billions of people on social media it's not going to happen the options are either we do live and we know that this is the outcome and we know that this as a possibility or we take away the idea of live streaming completely because there's no meat in the middle that I could ever see technology getting to a level where you could have a four second buffer and it's good enough to know simultaneously millions of people that

are live if somebody is saying or doing something. TikTok are copying a lot of heat from the fact that it was left up for half an hour, which I absolutely understand. No one wants to see this content left up for minutes, let alone half an hour. And you can only imagine how many times this has been clipped, screenshot, screen recorded, shared. And once something's on the internet, we all know it's incredibly difficult to get down. Well, there was an official statement that was put out by TikTok and it said, our automated moderation systems flagged the live stream within minutes and rooted it to the US moderation team for review. However, a moderator error caused a delay in the initial removal. Look, maybe this is not where other people are going to land on this. I don't

actually blame TikTok. It's a platform that's been created. People are on there sharing impulsive live experiences, right? It's part of what makes social media engaging. It's part of what makes us want to be on there to see what our favorite people are doing or to engage with world politics or like, you know, things happen socially that are live streamed and it makes for compelling and engaging viewing. It's part of the reason why we engage with these platforms so much. But in this instance I think the thing that's frightening is like yes half an hour is half an hour too long but when you think about the realities of what someone can broadcast and can broadcast so quickly even if it's a five second delay even if it's a two minute delay the impact that it has on people

who haven't consented to view that as well like somebody just opens up their Instagram or their TikTok goes on to a live stream of their favorite person and they're met with that type of content Like at least with normal broadcast, there's like what you're watching is R or what you're watching is MA. Like there's absolutely no knowing what it is that you're going to consume when you're on one of these platforms and you're on a live. Well, that's where it's tricky, right? Because when you sign up to any of these platforms, you are consenting because you never know

what you're going to open on that platform. Like every single time you open Instagram or TikTok or Facebook or whatever, you do not know what is going to be on your screen, especially because the algorithms don't work by showing us who we follow anymore. they'll show you anyone so you can't even say oh I know who I follow I know who's going to be my feed every time you open up simply by signing up to these media networks you have consented that whatever you're going to see you're okay with when something really horrifying is happening it doesn't just have to be on a live stream it could be that you're driving past a car crash

it could be something that like truly has taken your breath away because it is so awful to see why is it so hard to look away like once you're engaged with that content it's almost impossible to stop watching it it's human psychology and that's where the term car crash comes from when you refer to not wanting to watch or engage with something but you can't look away it is the term of it's like a car crash and that comes from when there is a car accident you're on a highway and there's a car accident and you can see kilometers of people have like there's a really big hold up right and you're like i don't know what is ahead all the lanes must be closed it's not it's because every person that drives past slows down. They slow down to look at what is happening. It's

almost like it makes something that we are fearful of real. And we become really interested in it because as humans, we spend our lives usually seeing these things like horror films or crashes or accidents or anything traumatic. We usually see it on a movie or on a screen. And so when something happens in real life, it makes it tangible. And I think that that's where this weird obsession comes from where you're simultaneously horrified, but you need to watch it through. And then I wonder if there's a part of this where people say, oh, I needed to see it through in case somebody needed me. Like, does somebody need my witness account? I filmed this horrific accident because what if someone needs it one day? Like, I feel like our immediate

response in these things is to not look away, is to capture it as much as we can. Like so many people would have started to screen record Perez Hilton's manic episode. It's something that I do completely understand it and because when I saw it originally I didn't quite understand there were just people sharing stuff Perez Hilton did this online I went looking for it because I didn't quite understand what it was at that point like there were just people and you know our job here is we talk about content we talk about what things are happening so I was like oh I wonder what this is without fully being able to fathom like I was one of those people that went searching for it quickly realized I shouldn't have searched for it it also makes me think of that example that

happened I mean it's so tragic the shark attack that was filmed it was a Sydney shark attack the person passed away and the whole thing was filmed and it was shared prolifically on like media sites through social media like almost everyone was talking about this filmed shark attack that was getting sent around in group chats this is kind of akin to that the only thing that's different I guess is like the live element but the fascination and needing to see something through and like not knowing the ending I understand why people who were on that live stayed on the live I think that it's like very unfortunate thing that they've been subjected to but I do also understand the psychology as to why they felt the need to stay and to watch it out well one thing psychologists

refer to it is as morbid curiosity and basically they say it's kind of an emotional rehearsal I'm just going to read this because I want to make it succinct psychologists have compared it to a psychological weightlifting deliberately confronting something frightening or disgusting in a controlled setting it can build tolerance and resilience the same mechanism that makes horror movies appealing to some i don't know i really don't know where i land on this i'm not saying that live and the live functionality of social media is inherently bad there are loads of instances where it's being used for good i was looking up and trying to find like okay what could be the instances where someone needed live because they needed mass witnesses or they needed to be

able to communicate the truth of a story. And there's like loads of examples where live recordings have been used to show police misconduct, or they've been used to expose different things that have happened in war or in different political situations. Like there's been this kind of like, I'm going to show you it as it's happening in real time. So the story cannot be misconstrued. You can see it with your own eyes. But my question is, is like, should there not be some sort of maybe some sort of a boundary some sort of timer some sort of something so that the barrier for entry is not as easy so that people have to at least think twice before they share some of their most vulnerable moments with the entire world maybe in a world of black mirror

but it's impossible how are you going to do that and conversely to that imagine if we did somehow figure out a world where we could put a timer on right it's brilliant for these kind of things but if there was a 10 second buffer a one minute buffer whatever it is imagine the times the woman is in the back of an uber that feels unsafe and she's live streamed that moment for her safety and then it went south and she couldn't be rescued because of the buffer we would be up in arms saying if this was live like she might still be here i can see how it works both ways but this is why it's so important that children shouldn't be on social media because if your kids have access to social media and they are watching these things that's some of that trauma is irreversible it's

not just kids though it's people who like who might be in a similar mental state or be also triggered there's another part of this I think is quite fascinating specifically to Perez Hilton he is a controversial figure people have very conflicting views on him and how he's conducted himself as a entertainment reporter for so long and some of the the conversation I've been seeing online about him was quite surprising because of how little empathy there was and it was this idea that you know he has profited for so long of other people's most vulnerable miserable moments you know celebrities who have gone through some of their darkest moments online and he's been the one to amplify it make money off it spread the story spread the controversy and now he's found

himself at the bottom of the most desperate time of his life and everyone is sharing it the irony in it is not lost on me but I think it does kind of call to our humanity how we can say well you're not entitled to empathy because you were an awful person when you had the opportunity to do better I don't know I think it really does make people question their own level of empathy I want to read you one comment by Ireland Baldwin so she's the daughter of Alec Baldwin she's 30 years old and this is what she said Perez Hilton has publicly humiliated my family for years sexualized me from a young age, commented on my weight and body as a child, made unforgivable comments about people in my family, drew jizz coming out of my mum and friend's mouth and has always been a despicable

human being. But his children deserve better and a healthy father and I am so sad for all of them. I hope he gets the help he needs and heals. It does make me wonder what this statement or what Ireland was trying to get across. And I understand she's trying to get across, hey, like we've been hurt by this man many, many times. I still wish him well. But what was the point of saying we've been hurt by this man many, many times? Like, what was the point? Because you're not saying, well, I assume she's not trying to say he deserves that this is karma. It's just, I think it's an interesting statement. I'm sure it's a sentiment that's felt by a lot of people, but I do wonder what the point is about putting something out there like that. Just saying this man has sort

of shattered my family for a long time. I think the intention is to remind people how awful he has been. I do think that there is an intention in that message. I think the intention there is to say this person is going through a terrible, awful time, but they have inflicted that same pain. And I'm not saying comparable pain in terms of what he's experiencing, but they have inflicted pain on other people for so long. And so I think that that is a kind of call to arms is to choose your empathy wisely. And I agree with it in some ways. I'm like, you know you can't be someone who for your entire existence preaches one thing has a level of expectation as to how you treat everyone else and then in the moment when you're at your darkest

most vulnerable time expect something different from the public but I would hope that we give it because I don't ever want to compare myself or I don't want to ever be the person that's like you know what an eye for an eye makes everyone blind I just think that like that doesn't help move the dialogue shift anything no and I don't believe in that I don't believe that because somebody hurt somebody in the past that they deserve to be horrifically hurt in the future the interesting part that I do find extremely ironic is that his family put out a statement saying please respect our privacy like give us a space give us our privacy and that is what's rubbing people the wrong way because Perez has never returned that he has never given people their privacy

in fact he's done everything he can to exploit their privacy in their personal lives so I just find that interesting now that when it's his time of need it's okay to bend the rules well I want to leave you with this last thing because I really do find this like the most fascinating part of this whole very very sad story and that is like the reality of the world that we live in now when it comes to social media and the accessibility to everyone's life and how everyone has this broadcast channel in their hands it's this with live stream there is no gap between impulse and audience a person can be experiencing the worst moment of their life pick up their phone press one button and potentially broadcast it globally if something happened on television there was a camera

operator producer director delay standards department and networks that could cut the feed and that simply doesn't exist anymore and it really is changing the way in which we consume content well it is time for suck and sweet our highlight and our low light of the week i will kick it off my suck this week is i bought a brand new i love a knit like i love a knit you guys know i love a knit but i bought a brand new knit and i was a turtleneck of course and i walked past one the door my bedroom door no you know one little knit has to get caught on a hook the whole thing's gone skis devastating it is devastating because there's no one's fault except mine I can't take it back anyway that's my suck do you know what I did this week it was also a suck I broke look at

me the worst thing happened I broke off both my pinky nails and then I tried to super glue them back on and then I got super glue all over the front of my dress and it was a really nice dress but it was black and I looked like I just jizzed on the front of my dress. I think that vinegar, don't quote me, gets super glue off clothes. I was very sad about it and I had to get around the whole day with right on the front of my dress super glue jizz. Crusty. I love that for you.

My sweet is this is happening tomorrow but it would have already happened by the time this episode drops. So if you're listening now on Wednesday morning, it happened last night. I need to set the context. Hasn't happened yet. Would have happened by the time you know. Your sweet can't be something that doesn't exist. It could go all pear-shaped.

It could, but it would still be my sweet. And if it goes pear-shaped, it'll be next week's suck. No, I'm hosting a red carpet movie premiere with Callum Turner. So Callum Turner, very famous actor, Dua Lipa's husband, by all accounts, a wonderful man. Can you tell him how hot his wife is? I'm sure he'd like to know that. I'm sure he'd like to know that he's batting.

I am going to be professional. I'm not going to comment on his wife. And do you know what is interesting? him I would not and will not mention her to him because he's his own star and his own person he's here for his own thing and there must be nothing worse than when you have like an uber famous partner or someone else and that's all that people want to talk to you about because Dua Lipa by all accounts is like one of the biggest stars of the moment like she's incredible imagine I go to host an event with him and I just talked about her but this is his night it's his night it's all about

how professional of you brit gosh so that's my sweet so that's i would be taking the opportunity to be like hey fyi i love dual looper i'm gonna tell him hey i was gonna say this is my number if you want to get her to call me just we could be friends we send me a selfie with him because also i know i say that he's batting he's hot too he's great we like him and they had a really cute meet cute as well i'm a bit obsessed with their relationship yes they were both reading the same book at the exact same time they were even on the same chapter it's actually meant i got goosebumps You know what I'm like with the universe. It's so cute.

All right. My suck for the week is that it's book week again and I still haven't sorted my kids' costumes. Fuck, that comes around quick. I know. I know. And also, like, every week I've got to go – I was meant to go into school on Wednesday,

but I was like, we're recording. Now I'm missing an assembly. But I find the keeping up with the admin of being a parent really hard. It is hard. I think I haven't done it. Not because we're infertile. Stop. And also I've just been told by a lot of people on social media

that Woolworths is almost out of ooshies And that's the only thing that's getting my household by at the moment. So that's also a suck too. You want to talk about what happened today? You brought me two ooshies. You are the ooshie peddler. Don't say I'm not good to you. I sourced you two ooshies.

We are all ooshies. Like I said it online. I said it on socials. If you're a mom, you're an ooshie dealer. And if you're an auntie, you're also an ooshie dealer. Always looked at me. They're like, you don't need these ooshies, do you? And I was like, fucking oath, I do.

We do. I was like, I know a girl who's wheeling and dealing at school. And I'm sorry, if you are that person that's walking into Woolworths and you're telling them that you don't need the Ooshies or you're putting your Ooshies in the bin, shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you. Laura's collecting.

There's a mum in your life who needs those fucking Ooshies. Okay, so and then my sweet for the week is that on the weekend, I was in Melbourne because we had – it's called Life and Style. It's a trade show that we do for Tony May every year. It's like a wholesale trade show. So basically we set up a trade show stand with our little Tony May plaque and all like your boutiques come in and they can buy and become wholesale stockers.

and it went really well for us and we had a little night away and we went out for like a fancy dinner to a restaurant called giblet which i thought it was giblets not that's it's definitely not that it goes on your crocs no aren't they gibbets aren't gibbets like are they gibbets i think they're gibbets i think gibbets is like guts and hearts and stuff from like a chicken that sounds right as well anyway it wasn't a giblet oh no it was a giblet we had an amazing time the trade show was phenomenal sometimes i love moving between this hat of life uncut and then just like having days where I get to fully just be a hundred percent in Tony May and it was a really nice weekend I love that for you same anyway dolls that's it from us let's get out of here guys

if you like the episode please go and leave us a review we love that we really need it for the ego really need it for the soul really need it for the self-confidence I had a really nice also bad review coming this week oh my god we had the nicest review for Brit someone said no it was only nice because it once was fucked it was the most self-aware review and I sent it to Britt, but it was a bit of a back-end compliment. The review was, I used to hate you, Britt. No, it was, I left you a savage fucking review. She publicly wrote it, yeah. I'm going to read it. I'm going to read the review. And this is, guys, why we love it when you do write reviews, but they're actually nice. Here, I'm going to read this to you.

It said, OG listener, I've now re-subscribed. Years ago, I wrote a pretty awful and scathing review targeting Britt. I have since come back to the podcast almost four to five years later, and I've been listening for maybe a year now, I can 10,000% confirm that the issues I was having with the podcast were down to issues I had within myself and jealousy. Seeing someone as vibrant and beautiful as Brit definitely set off my own insecurities. Fuck you. What about me? She didn't scathingly review you. It can be so hard to see someone else be exactly what you want to be when it's unobtainable to the everyday Jane. It is so nice being in a better place personally and being able to listen again and love the girls all over again.

It's probably very unlikely that they'll ever read this. No, no, we read it. We read them all. We read them all. But I would very sincerely like to apologize to Brit. She's a barrel of laughs and at the end of the day, just another person who's living life for the first time and working it all out as she goes.

It's hard to try and capture it in a small review, but Brit, Laura and Keisha, thank you for sticking at it. Thank you for being genuinely you and thank you for making at least one less person not only self-reflect but also feel less alone. And then they titled it I'm So Back. Oh, we love you. It's actually so nice.

And I know you guys, it's funny because I get a lot of messages, I'm sure you do too, Laura, that start with like, I'm sure you'll never read this. And as much as sometimes we can't respond to them all, we really do read everything and we see everything. And I would have read that first scathing review four years ago. And you would have cried. It probably made me cry.

It probably broke my heart. I probably tried to hide it from you, but it's hard because every so often I'm like, don't read that one. They're also there. they're not private everyone can read them so it's really hard when you read some and of course not everyone's gonna like you you can never expect that but it doesn't matter who you are when you hear somebody say something horrible about you and that they hate you and can't stand you to the point that they can't listen to the podcast anymore of course that's upsetting but I do want to say

to this listener thank you so much because it takes a very big person to be able to come back and write something like that and also being a point where you have self-reflected and then still not only self-reflected but thought I want to write that I want to write that I want to go out of my way to let her know and I really you really did make my day to hear that and I said I said to my husband also maybe we were just a bit shitter four years ago and we got good I said to my husband I said to Ben I was like oh do you know what is going to help me now I was like everyone that writes a bad review I'm going to think that in four years they're going to come back and feel this maybe but also I don't want you guys to think like everyone is a bit negatively geared by nature

you know like you can receive a thousand really nice comments or a thousand really nice messages or someone can tell you that they think you look amazing today but if you get one person that tells you you look shit like that's gonna hit you way harder or one thing that's negative like we are all and I don't say that as in we as in you and me Brit as humans we are negatively geared that one bit of criticism hits so much harder than copious amounts of positive kindness also there's the difference between just normal criticism and her quote scathing anyway what we wanted to say from that mostly is we're so incredibly grateful to all of you who do take your time to go and leave reviews we adore you guys we adore the community we get to build we will always share

in the most unfiltered ways as much as we possibly can and we love all of you who do the same in return so thanks guys and you know the drill tell your mom tell your dad tell your dog to Be friends and share the love because we love love.