Life Uncut - Can You Get Feaky in Your Mate's Bed- The best of THE PICKUP

Episode Date: October 2, 2023

It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP. GET TICKETS TO OUR LIVE SHOW HERE  If you have a question please send it on it to life uncut podcast on Instagram hereJoin us on tiktok Or join the facebook group here Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders, past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode is recorded on Gavigal land of the Aurora Nation. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. I'm And this is our radio show where we package up all the best bits of the pick up and put it right here for you. What that means is we take out the stuff, the mistakes

and the throwing each other under the bus and we just try and give you that real goodness. Do we take out the throwing each other under the bus though? Absolutely not. If anything, this part has more bus throwing. We can be a bit more unfiltered here, I think. That's what it is. It's like the chats that we have on the radio but then we add a little bit.

So I went away and for some reason I thought it was a good idea to let Mitch house it, which sounds good, right? Mitch is nearly 28. You think he's an adult? It was a fucking disaster. Oh, can you get off it, mate? It was a disaster. It's supposedly one of my best friends.

I think we are best friends. It was, well, would a best friend spread his seed all over said best friend's house? Stop it. Can you have some decorum? Oh, you're the one that spread it. I spread it. I did use one of your condoms, though, in the side drawer. Okay.

It was probably off. It was probably off. Did you use one of them? Do condoms expire? Yes, Laura. I had no idea, says the woman who has two children. That's why you've got so many kids. I reach into your side drawer and use one of your condoms.

Also, bit of your lubricant. Sorry, thank you for letting me use it. Did you use it mid? Can you use some other person's lubricant mid having sex? Because I feel like that then contaminates their lube. I feel like if you were mid. What do you do with a lube? You don't rub the bottle on them.

You just spray it onto your hand and the bits. Yeah, but you're still touching. You've been touching their bits, then you're touching their lube, and then you're touching their bits again, then you touch the lube again. That's the least of my worries. He sexed all over my house. I had sex in Britt's bed and she locked the door.

She put like a broom up against the knob so I couldn't get in, but I broke my way in. You're so manly. You just kicked the door down. Well, the thing is I invited someone over, someone I've been seeing, and we were on the couch. And the first night we had fun on the couch, right, this leather couch.

It was very easy for cleanup. But then the next night I was like, I'm just going to go to the bed. So I did progress to your bed and you caught me out because I sent you a selfie and you recognised in the corner of the photo there was your bedhead. He tried to send me a selfie. From your bed. No, but just of him and wouldn't notice that he was in my room and he was wearing my hoodie, he was wearing my clothes,

he was driving my car, he was eating my food, he was breaking. I was covering your skinceuticals too. I found them all. Also, every day in the group text, Britt will send a new picture of something that Mitch either broke, stole or has misplaced. I didn't break any of that. That's all fake, by the way. You put the SodaStream bottle in the dishwasher, not me.

Mitch, you know I live alone, right? So if it's not me and I know it's not, it's you. But it's not me. I know it's not. Well, it was all the people you were sexing. It was the twink that you brought home. He was very thirsty after it. Is that what we call it?

Are you allowed to call someone a twink? Yes. Okay. Did you just think it was a slur? I was like, oh, God. I mean, he was a gorgeous twink. I'm getting cancelled. Yeah, he was.

Anyway, we're going to get into that a little bit more too. That's on the show, yeah. Also, speaking of clean and cleanliness, there's a new stat that's out that I thought you guys would like. It is how often you should be cleaning your towels in your bathroom. And the reason I bring it up is because it shocked me. I don't clean my towels as much as you should be or anyone should. Did you clean mine?

I actually did clean your towels, but I left them on the line. Oh, they're still on the line. They will be there until Britt moves, which means that they're going to be crunchy and brown. Oh, they're going to be like just. No, they were crunchy and brown after Mitch was done with them. I am so clean. I have a question for you both.

Obviously, Britt, you don't mind that much because it's now happened. Do you guys care if other people have sex in your bed? Like if you have someone stay over. I do care. Okay. Well, I mean, unfortunately, Britt, it's happened to you. Would you care if one of your friends boned in your bed? No, absolutely not.

You have to say that now. I think it's so funny. And if anything, I would support it and never talk about it again. Oh, you're so foolish. But the thing is, it's never going to happen in your house because you live at home. And so it'd be weird for you to invite a friend over just to fuck in your bed. That's why I'm fucking in Britt's bed because I can't fuck in my own bed.

Can I say, I got a koala mattress six months ago. Hasn't been fucked in. Well, do that instead of my bed. Koala's like, hey, Mitch, reaching out to see if you love your koala. I'm like, yeah, I'm just sleeping in it. I don't think they're asking for sex feedback, Mitch. Oh, is that not what they're asking? I think they're asking how it is to sleep in.

Your bed was good to fuck in, by the way. Oh, my God, stop. Sorry, I'm just saying. It was good because the bedhead you can hold on to. I just want to let you in on something, Britt. Just so you do know in case you weren't aware, every single person except for producer Tony Gibber, producer Keisha, myself, Mitch, you,

we have all had sex in your bedroom. I created two children in that bedroom. Tony, come on over. Let's make this 100% strike rate. Did anyone else want to have sex in my house? We have all had sex. What are you doing? You fussed in Britt's bed.

Hang on. I'm in Britt's bed, but I created two children in that bedroom. That's your bedroom? Hang on. That's my OG. Laura, you need to set the scene here. People think you've come over, had sex in my house to get pregnant and left. Laura, I now live in Laura's old house.

So Laura made them on her own when she lived in there. Then she moved out. With the expired condoms. With your husband. And then I moved in. So they were your expired condoms. They were that old. They're still there.

Okay. All right. Well, look, and I, I mean, fuck, it was a good week. But this week I told a story about how I got stuck on a hill in Matt's car and he had to come and rescue me. And I've never been more embarrassed because I pride myself on being an independent woman. It turns out I need a man. Not I need no man.

I need a man. And I'm so grateful that Matt came and rescued me. I actually admire how open and earnest you were because I would never admit that story in the air. She goes, the best part is she goes, I got stuck on a hill. She just parked on a hill. She was not stuck there. No, nothing happened.

Absolutely not. No, I was. We do love each other. I know that you might be listening to this now and be questioning it, but we do. So let's get into the show. Oh, also, Laura skipped my birthday party. Can I say that? Oh, my God, stop.

Can you believe that, Britt? I had a birthday party yesterday and Laura didn't come. I can believe it because I was there. Because I came because I'm the friend that came. Oh, you should have brought Ben. You could have fucked on my bed. Karma. Payback.

Just saying. I don't live my life like that, Mitch. And also, Ben lives overseas. If he was, I would do it. All right, let's get into the show. So I went away for a little bit and being the ridiculously generous, lovely, kind friend that I am and the fact that Mitch Cherry still lives with his parents, I said to Mitch,

hey, why don't you get a little bit of space and house sit in my house? You are a hero. Not all heroes wear capes. No. Some of them wear pink T-shirts. Two bedrooms, two bathrooms, all his. And I was like, would you like that? You said yes.

I said yeah because I'm living with my mum and dad. I just moved back home and I needed some space to myself. I'm single for the first time in a long time and you offered. I didn't even ask and I said yes. Yep, and then I realised after seeing some of your updates and your stories that you are assuming my identity and tried to take over my entire life. I think, Britt, that just got real extreme real fast.

Really fast. I mean, what, was he running around in your house wearing all your clothes? Can I just say, hold on, sorry, Britt, house sitting implies that I'm living in your house. So I am just going to assume some of the roles of Brittany Hockley. I see Mitch's social media stories, right? I told Mitch, I've given you the spare bedroom, all the sheets and bedding and new pillows in there, comforters,

everything he could need. Then I start to see Mitch putting some stories up on his Instagram and I'm like, interesting. I have this like really big, comfy, oversized jacket. It was Ben's. I see Mitch wearing the jacket. He was wearing the jacket as he was walking to my local cafe. He was living my life.

Selfies in my car, roof down. I've got like a little glass roof. He fully took over my life. You said I could drive your car. You left your keys in the bowl at the front door. Okay, I think it's okay. Obviously, you did some of the things that you would do if you're staying in someone's house. But when someone says, hey, can you house sit for me?

They don't mean, can you wear my clothes, Mitch? They don't mean, can you sleep in my bed? Especially if they've laid out bedding in the other room. Toilet rolls. All empty. Everywhere. Fine. And can I say?

Nothing wrong with that. Were they actually? Both toilets. meaning he didn't stick to his one toilet that he was given. He used both. I pooed in the ensuite a couple of times. Yep, a bit of evidence in the toilet bowl. And you were sleeping in Britt's bed,

so you had to go to the ensuite, not the other one. Then I opened the pantry. I've never seen anyone do this in my life. He got like whole bags of biscuits, taking them out of, there's no glad wrap on them, there's no packet, there's nothing, and they're just sitting open, stale, all through the pantry. I could have reached in onto the desk and just taken biscuits.

They were just out in the open. They were water crackers. I had a couple of cheese boards and I put the crackers on the cabinet and I forgot about them and I just didn't have any bags for them. I didn't know where the glad wrap was. Her house is confusing. Then there was an apple in the fridge, one bite, put back. Then Dom Perignon, very expensive, very old wine.

It is a vintage. They're all vintage. Where did my wine go, Mitch? Multiple bottles of wine. I drank it. That was the prize cupboard. It's not the prize cupboard. It was the prize cupboard.

It said to the pick-up team, happy, congrats on the new show, enjoy. and I just thought, well, I'm in the pick-up team. I'm going to drink that. That's for me. It is not the prize cupboard. It is my alcohol collection. No, there were PR gifts sent to Brit. It's all chucked away in this cupboard.

I thought it was freaky. Oh, I feel uncomfortable now. Furniture moved. Furniture moved. Now, I know you've been having some sweet, sweet loving in that house. You've been having some sweet, sweet dates because there are candles. You know how some candles are just on show? They're all used.

They're all black. They're all over the house. You can't light someone's candle, Mitch. You can't go and get the Akoyas out and light a new one. Oh, yeah. I put candles in Britt's room because of the overhead lighting. Oh, so you were in my room. Gotcha.

Oh, God, no. I just, no. I did sleep in your bed, yes, and then I had a couple dates at your house, so I invited some gentlemen over. And the overhead lighting in your room is too harsh, so I had to go get candles and I had to light them around your room. And I did. And I enjoyed it.

Okay. And I had a really fun time. Britt, how are you enjoying it since you've been back? Well, there's furniture that's been moved as well, so the furniture was moved, wasn't put back. You must have had a little outdoor party because all that was moved back. I did have a cheese platter with about six friends on a Friday night. I've had a complaint from the neighbour, which was also great.

They said the person that's just moved in has been parking in parks they're not supposed to park. I had a fight with the next door neighbour. She's a right cow. She was awful to me. She put a sticker on my windshield and said, do not park here, and I said, do not touch my property. And then she said, this is my parking spot, and I said, I'm very sorry.

Mitch, you're never going to get invited back. Also, though, if you've been parking in someone else's car park, because this is like, it's very elite trying to find a car park around this area. Like, it is a real issue and people hold on to it like it is their prized pick. Yeah, yeah. And if you have been doing that, all that that's going to translate to is that Brit has and is a terrible neighbour.

Yes. You are now the terrible neighbour. You're reflecting on me. Can I just say the best part of all this is she thought I slept in the spare room. I just went in and got the sheets and ruffled them up a bit and, like, put the pillow on the floor and so she thought I slept in there. Midge, there is no part of Brit that thinks you slept in the spare bedroom. Also, the fact that some of your underwear was still left in Brit's bedroom

has really proven that you didn't follow any of the rules. No one has been surprised. Thank you for having me, Bryn. Just to really knuckle down on this, the underwear wasn't clean. Okay, it was. And it wasn't Mitch's. I still can't work out whose it was. Yeah, I'm not a medium.

That should have been a dead giveaway from the start. Okay, well, you guys know I'm in a loving and beautiful relationship with my wonderful husband, Matty J. You keep telling us that. You drive it home a bit too much. It makes me wonder. No, no, no, it's great. We are great.

Everything is great. No, it really is. It's great. But I pride myself on being someone who is very independent in my relationship. I've always kind of had the attitude of like, I don't need a man, even though sometimes. Haven't you had the opposite? I need a man. Well, no, I'm really self-sufficient.

I can change a car tire. I do like to kind of put it out there that I'm, you know, independent. And I love being in a relationship with Matt, but I don't need him. Turns out I need him more than I thought. So the other day I went to pick the kids up from daycare and I had to drive. So Matt, we've got different cars because we work at different ends of the city. He often takes the kids to daycare and very, very rarely do I drive his car. I hate it. The brakes are very touchy and it's just not a car that I enjoy driving, but he had both the

car seats in it. So I had to swap and use his car. So I went and picked the kids up from daycare and I parked on a really, really, really steep hill. And I was about a meter from the car in front and I went and I got the kids and I got them in the car and here I am. And I was like, cool, We'll reverse out of this car park and then we'll be on our way. I put the car into reverse and it starts to roll down the hill. So I quickly slammed the brakes on and I was like, I've got to do that again. And the kids are in the back, they're already getting antsy

and I put it into reverse and then it rolled down the hill again. Oh, my God. This happened three times until the car was pretty much kissing the car in front on this really steep hill. There was no more room for error. So I am now in the car, kids are screaming, I've got my foot on the brake and I can't even take my foot off the brake. But Laura, couldn't you just put the handbrake on?

No, because it's the automatic handbrake so it always rolls a tiny bit. Oh, I hate them. You know how it just rolls a little bit? So you were close enough that it couldn't roll a centimetre? I'm talking this close. Hold on. I was like, if this rolls at all, I am rolling straight into the back of a Lexus. A car.

A Lexus. So hold on, why did you not just put it in drive and it would go forward? No, because I was too close forward. But the hill is so steep at the daycare that if I'd put it forward, I would have just gone. It's so worked out, wouldn't it? Oh, my God. It's just so stressful.

Anyway. You're not putting it in reverse. I don't understand. I had to reverse up the hill a little bit to be able to get out of the car park. Yes, but was it not going into reverse? Yes. I just obviously hadn't revved it hard enough for it to actually reverse. Okay.

So what happened? Okay. Guys, I'm already stressed by this story. As am I. So I called Matt. I've got my foot on the brake. He's trying to talk me through what to do. And I was like, I can't.

I physically can't. If I take my foot off the brake, it's going to roll. And I'm crying. And he's like, what? He says, what are you doing? He's like, I just put it into reverse. I can't put it into reverse. It's going to hit the car.

I made Matt drive from our house 20 minutes to the daycare. No, you did not. Yep. He had to get in my car and he drove all the way. and I sat there in the car park with my foot on the brake and the kids screaming in the seats. I don't understand. Neither did he.

Haven't you ever done a reverse? Neither did he, Britt. So he arrived and the kids were like, Daddy's here to save us. Oh, my God. At what age do you have to sit there? It's a hot mess, but Daddy's here to save us. And so Matt gets out. He goes and parks my car.

He walks over, just like shaking his head. How do you switch cars, though, when you can't take your foot off the brake? So wait for it. I then had to unbuckle myself. I changed feet on the brake. Like, I changed feet. I climbed over into the passenger seat so that he could climb in. He put his foot on his brake and then we kind of, like, did this swap.

He literally sat there, looked at me, and I was like, you're going to hit the car. He just put it in reverse and reversed out. And I will never, ever live it down. But your cars are not automatic, isn't it? Shut up, Brit. I'm just thinking I get it. Stop it.

I already got it out enough. I get it if it's a hill start in a manual where you've got to give it more, but it's an auto. It was the dumbest moment of my life. I have never been so embarrassed. I physically could not drive his car out of the car park and he will not let me live it down. You deserve that embarrassment, Laura Byrne.

He has brought it up every day. And now I feel really incompetent and I also feel like I've lost confidence in my driving. Yeah, and I feel that about you as well. And you also just told Australia, so that's great. I mean, come on. Okay, I feel like we need to make you feel better. It happens, right, Brit?

A couple save the day all the time. Oh, sure. Yeah, this is normal, Laura. Please make me feel better. If you've done something in your relationship that your partner will never, ever, ever let you live down and you feel completely inept, please call in to The Pickup and let us know about it.

Yeah, 131065 or write in thepickup.com.au. DM us, The Pickup, on socials. We will give the best story 500 bucks at Chemist Warehouse. Can I have 500 bucks? Absolutely not. You know what you need? You need a driver's lesson. That's what you need.

Oh, it's so embarrassing. At what age do you re-sit the driver's test? Because it's like 80, right? I think we need to do 35. We asked you guys what you've done and what are the things that have happened in your relationships where you haven't been able to live it down? Yeah, your partner just won't let you.

They bring it up whenever they can. We've got Anna on 131065. Hi, what does your partner hold over your head, Anna? Hey, guys. So this was about five years ago. My husband was outside eating brekkie one morning and I said goodbye to him and went to work. and I get halfway, almost to work, and I get a call from a random number

and I pick it up and it was my husband on this. I was like, who, what are you doing? And I, when I had said goodbye to him, I had locked the door. Oh, you locked him in. Yeah, and he was in his undies. Yeah. And he had no phone, no keys. And outside having breakfast.

So he had to go out to the, out the front of our house to the main road and hailed down a car in his undies. I love this. To use their phone to get me to come back to let him in. But you knew he was outside. You just went into autopilot and locked him out. Yeah, I opened the door and said, see ya, I'm going to work.

Yep, see ya. This guy that he hailed down was just taking his kids to school and this guy hailed him down in his undies. He didn't get reported. I'm not sure if I would stop if there was a man in the street just wearing his undies trying to stop the car. That's great. Rebecca, what happened to you?

What does your partner hold over your head? So about two years ago, my partner went to the supermarket with the kids in the back and forgot that he had driven there and walked home. I didn't realise that. Wait, he left the kids in the back of the car or took them with him? No, no, he left the kids in the back of the car. I didn't realise.

Oh, my God. Oh, that's gold. One time Laura did that with Buster, her dog, down the road. She tied him up out the front of the supermarket and then walked home. I thought that was bad. Yeah. I got home and I was like, where's Buster? It is bad, but it's not my children.

He's a dog. They're microchipped. Babies don't have any of those things going on. That's great, Rebecca. Oh, that's great. Finally, let's do Amy. Quickly, Amy, what does your partner hold over your head? Hi.

So we went to Perisher back in August and we went with my hubby's family on a snow trip and we were both really talking our skills up because we haven't seen each other snowboard before. um anyway so we were only down there for three days day one I was on my bum more than I was on my feet and I was like no I'll get you tomorrow um second day I was doing really well and then we're getting on the chair lift which is the easiest bit um and I remember looking down at the chair being like geez that's coming a bit quick it's hit my knee completely popped it out um so I'm sort of sitting on the chair and by then it sort of scooped us up a little bit

And then I don't even know. I think I've screamed like, my knee, my knee. And then my hubby's gone, what's happened? Because I had surgery on my other knee a couple of years ago. So I think he thought I was being a bit dramatic. And he looked at me and I've gone, my knee's dislocated. And then so he's jumped down. He's trying to hold my leg.

They had to emergency stop it. Do you know what? I actually think the chairlift is the most anxiety-inducing part of snowboarding. Like of the snow. Every time it comes up, you're like, I'm not going to be able to get on. And then I'm like, I'm not going to be able to get on. Not the skiing. Not the high-speed skiing.

No, it's the high-speed chairlift. Because everyone's watching you. It's so embarrassing. It's high pressure. It's because people come off really quickly at the same time, so you think they're going to come up behind you. Who do we like? Who should we give this $500 chemist to?

I think they're all amazing. But we can't give them all out. I just don't want to. Laura, this is your segment, so which one? Okay, I think the poor woman whose children got left in a car is the most hideous, but I don't want to reward that bad behaviour. She needs it the most. We'll reward it.

We'll do it. Congratulations. $500 at Chemist Warehouse, Rebecca. Oh, my God. You should never let your husband live that down, ever. Congrats, Bec. Oh, my God. Thank you so much, guys.

I'm glad that the story's gone to good use. I'm glad that your partner hasn't forgotten that he has two kids. You're single out there. Britt's got some life-changing dating hacks for you. I absolutely do. And I think this one's going to help you out, Mitch. This is a woman that's gone viral on TikTok. Her name is Luna Leia, and she's been on Hinge for a little while.

Luna, we've all been there. Rest in peace, Luna. She's not dead. She's just on Hinge. She's like a graveyard. It is. It's those that know I was on there for a very long time. Mitch, you can attest.

I've just joined all the dating apps for the first time in five years. It's a graveyard. It's hell. Britt, you did a good decade on there, so you gave it a good run for its money too. I did. On Hinge, if you aren't on there, it comes with all these prompts. It starts a sentence, and you have to fill it in and finish it. So everyone has the same prompts that you can pick,

but you fill it out differently. Now she's, because she's just been in this graveyard for a long time, she's like, I'm going to mix it up. I'm going to finish this prompt differently. The prompt says, together we could. And she wrote, go to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to realise we don't know each other. As a joke, some guy has matched her coming hot saying,

I've booked us a therapy session, locked it in, paid $170 for the session, and they've booked their first date with a guy she doesn't know to go to a therapist. No, no, no, no, no. That is coming on way too strong. Laura, this has had 11.9 million views and a lot of people supporting this, but a lot of people also on the other side saying, are you wasting the therapist's time?

It takes her a long time to get into a therapist. Oh, it's not about wasting the therapist's time. More so, if a guy was that keen to go on a first date with me, that he would take me to a therapy session and pay $170, I'd be like, what is wrong with you? Why do you need to try this hard? You're in a therapy session. What's wrong with him?

He's the one who wanted to come here. There's something wrong with this guy. Also, you know how awkward it is when you're on a first date and you go to pay for the meal with your phones, like you both go to pay. Imagine at the end of therapy, like you both go, like, do I pay? No, he's paid.

He's fronting it. He has already fronted it. This is how much, because he's been in the graveyard of online dating for a long time too. No, he's just desperate. But I sent this to Mitch last night because I thought this could be brilliant. So I sent it to Mitch and I was like, I want you to update your hinge with you want a first date at a couples therapist and see what happens.

So did you do it, Mitch? Yeah, I did. Let me open up my hinge. So I did. I actually have matched with a bunch of people and I sent it as the first message because I'm just going to go straight to it. Oh, wait. You didn't put it into your prompts.

You're actually just DMing people saying, hey, we should go to couples therapy. These are people that I matched with. So they're interested. Here's one named Jeremy. Oh, I've been blocked. Jeremy's gone. Jeremy does not want therapy. I'm not joking.

I can't message him. Jeremy's gone. He's unmatched me. Oh, my God. I would unmatch you as well. You can read the, look, look, together we could go on a couple's therapy. He's unmatched. I can't chat to him anymore.

Who else? What else has happened? I sent someone named Locke to give me a couple's therapy. And, oh, oh, it says red. When? And he hasn't written back? 11 a.m. Can you send a question mark?

Do a question mark. What do you mean? Yeah, just a question mark. I sent three questions. I just sent three questions. No, wait. Mitch, send him one more message and say, so what about Tuesday 4pm? Okay, what about Tuesday 4pm?

Who's your health cover with? No, no. Should we get a rebate and spend the money on chocolate? Right back and say it. This sucks. This sucks. You are the worst wing woman in the history. Hey, Mitch, I got a boy for you.

Take him to therapy and talk about your past trauma. Can I? It's worked for this girl. Well, hang on, no. Hang on, it hasn't worked. Her official... Thank God. Thank God we got you at the bottom of the aisle.

It's worked. She's in a graveyard. She's dead. It worked for her. Wait, no, it hasn't. Now, listen, the update on TikTok, because 12 million people have seen it and they want the update, officially she went on the therapy date yesterday. It has happened, but we don't have the update yet.

And I'm on the edge of my seat, people. I want to know how this went because I've got a little tinkling. They're going to get married. I think, look, it's either going to be very effective, it's going to be a fast track to finding out that the person's got a lot of issues and you're going to unpack that stuff real early on, or I think he's just coming on way too strong and he needs to go instantly.

Yeah, well, Mitch, if this doesn't work, I don't know what you're going to do. All right, now I think mums and dads in the car listening at this time are going to really love this information. Finally, we have an answer. How often should you be washing your towels from your bathroom? I feel like all I do, Mitch, is wash towels and sheets and kids' clothes all day.

I feel like all my mum does is wash my towels and my bed sheets. It is all your mum does. I thought this was going to be the most dramatic eye-opening survey, like what came first, the chicken or the egg, but it was who washes whose towels? Well, it might be for you because I think you might need to start washing them more frequently. Here's the question.

It's just going super viral and I thought you guys would be great because we have three very different people. We've got a single gay guy who lives with his parents, we've got a mum of two children, and then we've got just Brittany Hockley who lives alone. With a dog. With a dog. Who molts Delilah, Brittany's dog,

molts more than anything you've ever seen. No, she does not. There is plumes of dog hair floating around your house. It's like the Wild West. You go to Brittany's house, it's like a western. and there's just like tumbleweeds rolling through the hallways. Fake news. How often, Laura, do you wash your towels in your bedroom or the bathroom?

So the towels that I use that I wash myself with, they get washed every day. So the same towel. You never even have toilet paper. There's no way you're washing your towel every day. Every day. I call it bull. My biggest pet hate is using a towel that's not completely dry. So I always have to use.

But they don't dry in time. So like they're always still a bit damp. So all towels get washed of an evening for the next day and we use fresh towels. It's so un-environmentally eco-friendly, like it's awful. Do you live in a Hilton? That is ridiculous. But I wash towels every single day. All right, Brit, you?

I'd probably be every couple of days. I reckon every three days. I reckon mine's a weekly rotation. This is what is going viral. The official results are in and you should be washing your towels once every three days. Oh, I win! Brit wins. It's once every three days.

Once every three days? Yeah, so this is Nicole. Nicole Gibson, everyone knows her. She's called the laundry queen in Australia. Look, Laura's so defensive. I've got stats. Relax. You wipe your butt on that thing.

But you've just showered. It's a clean butt. It's still a bum. How messy are you down there? It's still a backside. You do not wipe your butt hole. No, I have. You don't dry your bum hole?

I touch it. I just dry the outside of my butt cheek. You don't dry your bum crack. You're not drying off. You're walking around with a sopping wet hole all day. It's not sopping wet, guys. It's just standard. Okay, I am shooketh that you guys will use that

and then you'll dry your face with it again the next day and then your backside and then your face. Let me get the stats out. She's your Karen today. Just today? Once every three days. However, if you shower twice a day, morning and night, Dr. Nicole has said there is more bacteria on the towels,

so you should do it every 24 hours. Thank you. So if you shower twice a day, it has to be 24 hours? So my idea is actually brilliant. Two towels on rotation every three days. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here's the thing. Another, do you want more hygiene facts?

Yeah. I want to know bed sheets. Oh, well, I don't have those facts. Okay, sorry. I've just got what I've got, to be honest with you. But here's what you've got, bitch. You don't have to know. What, the price of petrol?

No, I don't have that. Washing your underarms, right? How do you wash your underarms? You get a bit of soap, you just go underneath, left, right, left, right, done. Yes? Yeah. I mean, yeah. How else do you wash them?

Incorrect. It is so full of bacteria and deodorant under there that if you are not washing, Unless you're washing with antibacterial soap for 30 seconds each pit, you still have months' worth of baked-on deodorant under your little penis. Laura, that explains a lot. I don't think I've ever washed my underarms then. I literally just wash with a bit of soap and then hop out. You've got December's deodorant on there still.

That makes sense. Britt, how do you wash under your arms? Oh, I get a loofah. Shut up. Britt's got a gurney. Yeah, I've got a high-pressure outdoor pavement hose. So just go clean yourself. Now the facts are out there, Australia.

Just look after yourself. Don't be like Brit on me. I don't reckon there's anyone out there that's doing 30 seconds of pit. Literally no one. It's more than what you'd know. Isn't it 20 seconds on hands? You sing happy birthday and then your hands are fully washed. No, hands are 30 seconds to a minute.

Just stay clean, everyone. You are a sicko. You're full of germs. But I have really clean towels. Brit, we're all on the edge of our seat for this. You guys know I love a psychic. I always have. I've made Laura go to them before with me.

We've had one on our Life Uncut podcast. And a little while ago, I went to visit my partner Ben in Scotland and I became, I got a new best friend over there, basically. It's a neighbour. His name's Eugene. He's 65 and he's a psychic. Of course you sniff out the psychic to be your friend, Ruth. Of course you're like, this is going to save me a bit of money.

And I got a reading the first time I was there, but it was, to be honest, mainly about Mitch. He doesn't know Mitch, but Mitch kept coming through my pores. Our friendship. Mitch was seeking out of my pores. Yeah, our friendship. The three of us, we have such a strong connection that Brit can ask questions about her life and he goes,

you've got big hair and you're a man and you're gay and you're 27 years old. Well, this was the prediction the first time I went over. And it's funny. He's got problems with an ingrown toenail. I've got problems with this toenail in his foot and I'm drawn to my left foot. Do you have an ingrown toenail?

This is ridiculous. I have two ingrown toenails on both toes and I've had them surgically altered to stop getting ingrown toenails forever. What? He was right. So he was right the first time. Now, something else he said that time, Mitch,

but I didn't want to tell you because I just didn't think it was appropriate. He told me then and there, he's like, the guy with the toenails that I've told you about. And I was like, Mitch. Mankey foot. Yeah, he's like the tone, mankey foot. He is about to break up with his partner. And I said, what?

I was like, no, no way. They've been together for years. Five years at that point. Yeah, I was like, they've been together for five years. They're happy. And he's like, well, I'm telling you, it's coming. It's coming very, very soon. They want different things and it is going to end.

And I didn't want to tell you that, Mitch. Well, I can vouch for this, Mitch, because when Britt came home from that trip, she was like, I've gotten a reading on a few things. And she told me a couple of bits and pieces that were said about me. But that was something she said straight away. She said, I don't know whether I should tell Mitch, but I think things are not going to be good in his relationship. And then we broke, I found out some things and then we broke up about four weeks later.

Literally. And that was so out of the blue. So he got that right. But anyway, that's what he said, Mitch. Sorry, I kept that from you. Okay, cool. My heart's racing. But I just went back to Scotland like very, very recently

to see my partner, Ben. And of course I saw my best friend, Psychic Eugene. Can I just say, my toes are fine at the moment. My toes are fully just grown normally. They're not ingrown. And you came through a few times at different periods. Like we would just be at coffee or something and he would go, Mitch. And then you would hit him in the coffee and then he would tell me something.

Anyway, he's drawn to you. But this is what he said this time. He's struggling to find happiness, that man. Yeah. So there's someone new coming into his life. He's been involved with our souls in his past, that man. Okay. But he has a lot of, has a new relationship to come to him.

Oh. Wow. So what he said was, it hit him really quickly, this feeling. And he said, and it happened twice. And he said, I'm going to reenact it. Ready? Watch me. I will just have a soy cappuccino.

You idiot. Wait. Mitch. Mitch is about to find love. Mitch, a relationship for Mitchell is very, very close. And I was like, oh, my God, this is amazing. He's like very close. And hang on.

He already knows him. What? He's like Mitch already knows the person he's going to fall in love with. That's what he said. He said, you've either already met or they've been in your life in some capacity. Maybe it's someone in the public eye. I don't know.

But he said, you already have come across this person. Mitch just pulls out his phone and he's already like, all right, who have we got here? Line them up. How do you feel knowing that the psychic that's gotten your toenails right, the breakup right, and now he said that love is on the cusp. I can't think of who that person would be. I can't think of there's no one.

Well, you know a lot of people. Do you feel like you, I mean, And I know you're kind of semi-dating again, but do you feel like you would be ready to be in a proper relationship again? That's why I think it's so weird. No, I mean, I'm five months out of a five-year relationship that ended terribly, so I don't really want one. Yeah, but you don't choose love, Mitch.

It chooses you. Disgusting. Did I say that with confidence? No. It's true, though, and that saying of, like, it happens when you least expect it and maybe you're not looking for it, that's, historically speaking to everyone but me, that's when it happens.

Well, I didn't want to believe you when you said I was going to break up with my ex, and I did, so maybe it's going to happen. Nor did you want to believe it about your toenails, but they're still making. No, I still put Betadine on them every night to go to bed. So, right. Okay, well, I'll update you guys if I find love.