Life Uncut - Can You Have Relationships with People That Have Different Values to You? Travis Kelce Thinks Yes.

Episode Date: May 27, 2024

Hey Lifers!First up, Britt is served a slice of humble pie for some risky fashion choices. Laura has a stye... it's just a sh*tshow today. Laura and Matt went back to where they got married & the kids were a bit disappointed in comparison to last time.Do you feel as though you can maintain relationships with people who have different values to you? We speak about the response from the Kelce brothers to Harrison Butker's controversial speech two weeks ago.We discuss the ins and outs of whether different religious, political or moral values dictate if you can have relationships with people. We speak about the privilege involved with 'whether' you care about certain view points and whether it's the intensity of those values that might be the line in the sand.  You can watch us on Youtube Find us on Instagram Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands were never ceded. We pay our respects to their elders past and present. Always was, always will be Aboriginal land. This episode was recorded on Gadigal land. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany and nothing keeps you more humble, I tell you what, than you lot. Like, I came in here today vibing myself. I thought I looked winter chic. You do look winter chic.

Winter welding yak chic. I have a beautiful little winter knit on that's, like, short with short sleeves. So it's, like, that in-between because we're actually two days out of winter. And some new knee-high boots. Well, I've had them for a couple of weeks. But they're, like, fashion, F-A-R-S-A-H-M. We need to take a photo of these. This whole thing's on YouTube.

Okay, put your leg up in the air. Anyone on YouTube, come and have a squiz. I've got a short skirt. They are – imagine boots that went all the way up to your labia and then you folded them back down yourself. Mate, your labia comes to your knee. Mine doesn't. My boots come to my knee.

Well, then they wouldn't be as folded over as yours if they were my labia. But I'm saying imagine if your boots came all the way up to your upper thigh and then you folded that down over the boot. It's just a double-layered boot. It's big in Paris. I love them. It's a vibe. Don't be jelly.

But I'm just telling you what they remind me of. They remind me of welding work boots. So if you're working with like molten metal and also the bottom of a yak, combine those two things together. Producer Keisha literally just said I look like a yak. She goes, what's that animal with heaps of hair down the front? Thanks, guys. I tell you what.

Humble. I woke up this morning and I have the start of a sty. Sucked in. Calm as a bitch. It's the most annoying thing ever. And I was sitting in the bathroom and I was like, what do I do? Do I pop it? Do I touch it?

How do you deal with a stye? I know what to do. You teabag yourself. Not Matty J, but you put a- That's probably how I got it in the first place. What, he teabagged you with his teabag? That's not how you make babies. You actually get like a green, I'm pretty sure it's green.

It's a specific type of teabag. Green teabag and you soak it in the water and then you put the whole, you lay down and you put the whole teabag on your eye. I promise you this is a thing. When I was growing up, I used to get them really bad. My grandma used to always say that you should rub a gold ring on it. That's like an old wives' tale that if you get a sty, you rub a gold ring on it.

So Matt also rubbed his ring on it. Which is when you think about that, when you think about how – I don't want to think about that. Not Matt. When you think about a gold ring. So dirty. It's so unhygienic. What a stupid old wives' tale.

Hey, so you have an infection in your eye. rub something that's clearly not clean yeah on your eye to get rid of it yeah yeah anyway i don't know what's worse between having a sty and having hemorrhoids i'm fucking done with the day wow that escalated i'm done i'm done you know no one would have known you had hemorrhoids if you didn't throw it in there but i love that you like let me just tell you everything's wrong with me right if you've vaginally birthed two children i'm gonna take a punt that you've got hemorrhoids i don't think it's a hundred percent but no but it's a high stat i reckon you'd be pretty good if you place that bet though if your life depended on it do they don't they if there's a game of hemorrhoid roulette

you'd be pretty good saying yes if that person's got two kids that's a lot for a morning isn't it it's Monday morning right now here in the studio and that is a lot even for me and I've done it well thank god I don't have a sty but the time has come today is Monday Ben is arriving tonight he's on a plane right now so when you guys are listening to this we could still be having sex he would have been here for about if you download this first thing in the morning producer Keisha wants to cut that out I can see your eyes rolling if you listen to this first thing in the morning he would have been here at like 11 p.m that night can I tell you so my stepbrother listened to the episode that we did last week when we were talking about me or my stepdad he said oh you know he was

like I'm really grateful for how you um you spoke about everything he goes however I just want to make a note I probably won't listen to any more episodes after listening to Brit talk about her boyfriend coming in her for the 10 minutes start of that episode he's like it really did me over He was like, interesting trajectory that your podcast takes, how you managed to talk about that stuff, then go into palliative care and then talk about whatever else it was that we covered on that episode. It was a real rollercoaster of an emotion. Yes, it is.

And sometimes that's what happens. I guess that's what life on cut is, right? Bit of A, bit of B, bit of high, bit of low. Bit of everything. Well, we do have a very, I think it's a very interesting episode for you guys today. We're talking about whether you can maintain friendships and relationships with people who have very differing views to you, whether it be political, whether it be religious, but obviously we have a few things to cover first. Britt, do you have any plans for whilst

Ben is here? Like, is there any, apart from just being excited for him to be landing in the country this evening, is there anything else that you have going on? Oh yeah. So we've booked basically, he's here for three weeks and it's pretty nonstop. Like every weekend is a long weekend because I want to try and show him different parts of Australia. And we also need to try and fit my family in as well in Port Macquarie. I'm taking him deep sea fishing. We're going back to Hamilton Island. We're going to the Gold Coast so he can meet my, like two of my really close friends up there. Because the thing is we've been together, I don't know, over 18 months now and he doesn't really know anyone in my life. Like he's met you guys and then, and my family and that's

it. Because I guess we only see each other every couple of months and we're always going on a holiday to spend our time together. So I really wanted him to meet my really close friends on the Gold Coast. So we're going to go out there, have some dinners, meet one of his friends in Byron Bay it's actually a lot but I'm most excited to take him deep sea fishing it's so it's so random it's so random but it's also so cute I feel like you guys are on it and I guess it is but you're always on a perpetual holiday when you're together yeah so you're like this is my life what are you like but you know what I said to Ben I said what are you most excited about because I've made all these plans because you have to plan it right otherwise the time goes

too quickly you don't get anything done and I was like what are you most excited about and he's like to be honest I'm just most excited about going for a walk with you and Delilah holding your hand and just doing normal stuff he's like just walking down the street to the coffee shop like that I go to every day because I call him at the same coffee shop every day going to the dog park that I go to he just wants to live those normal things and to me that was the best because I'm like I've just made this amazing three-day holiday and all he wants to do is literally go for a walk and hold my hand like stop it like that is the cutest thing do you think that there is any possibility that he might propose and I know we discussed remember that episode but I'm curious as to how

you feel about it and whether you think because you know I mean we talk like I say it like I don't know like we talk about this stuff but you guys don't know so I think I I mean I would probably be shocked if he didn't propose this year okay but we have three more like you're like he's got time yeah we've got three like more holidays that we're together this year sometimes we'll be with Jay and Sherry over in Europe. Then we're spending Christmas together. We've got a few more little trips. But the way we have talked about our future and like our timeline of things

like weddings or kids and moving, I'd be shocked if it's not 2024. Yeah. You're like, it's coming. I'm trying to give myself a buffer in case it doesn't happen. I'm like, I will be shocked if it's not by 2027. So, yeah, but I don't know. I just can't see him doing it because I plan everything. He doesn't even know.

how can he plan it? He doesn't even know where we're going or where we stay. He doesn't know anything because I do it all. So I'm like, unless you're just going to carry a ring around and hope that we hit somewhere aesthetic, but there's no one around and it's a, you know, which I guess he could do, but. But then you're also like planned a little bit. Cause I want a nice photo of it. I want a memory video record that I'll never forget. Like when Matt proposed and we went to Fiji and it should have been a dead giveaway that the guy set up a GoPro, but he always sets up no no as soon as I saw the GoPro I was like oh did you think yeah I did a bit but then he just started crying and I was like what's going on because he it

wasn't it didn't seem like he was happy I've why have I never seen the video actually because probably because I was like I honestly for a second thought he was going to tell me something horrible like he had cancer because he just started crying and wanted to capture on film But didn't do it in a way that seemed positive. He was crying. And I was like, and then when he proposed, I was like, are you trapped right now? Are you also dying? Blink twice if you're okay with this.

Blink twice if this is actually voluntary. Is this still part of the contract? Or is it just because I got pregnant? What's happening here? Nah. He cried because he was so overwhelmed by emotion. Couldn't control himself. Do you still have the video?

Yeah. Can I see it? I'm pretty sure it's on Instagram. Is it? Maybe. I feel like I've never seen it. Just without sound. Maybe it was too triggering for me.

So I didn't watch it. Well, speaking of weddings, speaking of proposals, on the weekend just passed, we went down to Mollymook. We took the kids down to Mollymook. It's like three and a half hours from Sydney. If you're not familiar with it, it's right on the coast, but it's also where Matt and I got married. And it's the first time we've been down there since our wedding. And we went back to our wedding venue and we had such a sweet couple of days, but there's something really, I don't know, there's something really odd about going back to your wedding venue on a day where it's just functioning like a normal restaurant because we were standing it doesn't have the

quite the magic when it's like kids running around i was like standing in the same spot and then had to ask like some 16 year old waiter i was like can you take a photo of us and he and then did you explain it we got married and matt was like you don't need to tell this man our whole story and i was like oh we we got married here and and we had the kids and matt was like shut up laura just dog and so then he was taking a photo and i was like no could you take a portrait and anyways do that it was embarrassing just flip it so i can use it for Flip it, flip it. God knows I'm not taking these from my own memories. I'm taking them for Instagram. I don't care. With the camera around. So anyway, it was really cute, but also it was

kind of nice to have a little moment where we got to go back to where we said all of those beautiful things to each other and said our vows to each other. I don't know. I don't even know how to describe it. Be like, oh, remember that day and how much love there was and how much we love each other. It was a beautiful day, but you know the thing, and you can probably see me about to laugh. The thing that I think of when I think of your wedding, I don't know why, and I hate that This is the first memory that popped into my head, but I can't ever forget when you were mad. We're trying to have that really cool moment.

It's a video moment. It's a shot moment. It's a moment for the crowd. It's like whatever. But you were trying to fill all the champagne glasses up. You know when you have a tower of champagne glasses and you start at the top and it flows over? You had too many.

And everyone was like, woo, at the start. And then it was like 20 minutes and they weren't even half full and you were still pouring. You were like, fuck it. You didn't even finish it. You were like, I'm done. We did the champagne fountain. My advice is if you have a champagne fountain at your wedding,

you only need like three or four layers because otherwise. You had like 24 layers. Also, it cost us a bomb. We had to empty out like 10 bottles of champagne to try and fill it. No one drank it and we had to pay for that champagne. Such a waste. You didn't even fill it. It didn't even work.

You cracked the shit. It didn't even work. That is so funny. Oh, that's really nice. It was really nice. That's my happy feeling. Would you renew your vows like at some point and go back there? Yeah.

So when we were there, Marley and Lola, when we were leaving, they started crying and they're like, but we didn't even get married. We didn't even have a wedding. And I was like, no, you've misunderstood what the purpose of today was. We will do that again. But yeah, I think 10 years. Don't you do like a wedding renewal or a vow renewal at 10 years? Well, you don't have to, but like Hollywood does.

Yeah, we will. I think Justin Bieber and Hailey Bieber just did. They've been married for like 30 seconds. Yeah, but they've been through a lot. They have lived a life, that couple. And they're pregnant. Good for them. Yeah, well, anyway.

So you guys might have seen two weeks ago, there is a speech that has gone absolutely viral. And now it's Harrison Butker, who is an American footballer, and he gave a graduation speech at the Benedictine College, which is a Catholic college. People are incredibly divided around the values that were described in his speech. And the reason for that is, is because when you put it into context, firstly, yes, it is a Catholic college, but this speech was given to women, men to people who have graduated from their degrees. So they have dedicated the last three to potentially longer five, six, seven years of their life. And a lot of money because Americans have to pay a lot of money for their colleges. To become qualified doctors, lawyers, surgeons,

teachers, et cetera. So off the back of this, the thing that was so divisive is the part in his speech that he speaks about a woman's most important vocation in life. And that was as described by Harrison himself to be a wife or a mother. Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world. I can tell you that my beautiful wife, Isabel, would be the first to say that her life truly started when she began living her vocation as a wife and as a mother. Now, we discussed this quite a bit a couple of weeks ago as to whether we would even talk about this on the pod.

And the reason for that is because so many other podcasts and news outlets have covered it. We kind of felt like it was flogging a dead horse, even though I myself had made a video on Instagram about it and we've had lots of conversations internally. But the reason why we're talking about this now is because there has been more to the story. So Travis Kelsey, who we all know is Taylor Swift's boyfriend,

has come out on his podcast and has given a statement around this speech itself. And he's spoken about how, even though he doesn't believe in Harrison's values, how he loves and adores him as a teammate and as a person. Yeah. So on Travis's own podcast, he came out and said, I cherish him as a teammate. He's treated the family that I've introduced to him with nothing but respect and kindness. And that is how he treats everyone.

When it comes down to his views and what he says at St. Benedictine's commencement speech, those are his. I can't say I agree with the majority of it or just about any of it outside of just him loving his family and his kids and I don't think that I should judge him by his views especially his religious views of how to go about life that's just not who I am I genuinely really liked Travis's statement his brother said something very similar like his brother went on to say there's always going to be opinions that everybody shares that you're going to disagree with another one of his teammates Patrick Mahome who's like also uber famous in that world came and made a very similar

statement and I quite like the fact that his team are supporting him for who he is and who they know him to be even though they don't agree with his opinions and I think the reason that his speech in general was so divisive is because it is perceived to be quite regressive the reason is he goes on to speak a lot about IVF being unnatural and that it shouldn't be happening about same-sex relationships are not natural in God's eyes and in his eyes. He doesn't believe in contraception. If you can't have children, naturally you shouldn't be going down the IVF route. Oh yeah, there are lots of things in there that I think... A lot of shit. If you listen to the full 20-minute speech, we'll rile a lot of people up. So this brings us to the question that

we wanted to speak about today. Can you have a relationship with people, friendships, associations, work colleagues, romantic relationships? Can you have these relationships with someone that you feel so strongly about differing views political or religious or whatever it seems to be and I personally quite like Jason and Travis's statement on their podcast I like a lot of the other teammates from the Chiefs came out and showed their support but said they didn't necessarily agree with their views and I think personally there is a huge part of me that detests this guy and every single thing he said absolutely and the reason is myself perceives his speech to be quite regressive. And I think a lot of the population that probably aren't heavily Catholic perceive

it to be quite regressive. And now I do want to say a lot of Catholic population, because there are some people that are Catholic that don't necessarily agree with what he said. But the key word here is perceived. It's how we view his opinion and his thoughts. And this is where it gets really tricky and a little bit muddy. Harrison went on to say a lot of other shit like that is so cooked a lot of things that I found to be almost like subliminal messaging little tiny little things that I quipped and picked up and I don't know if you picked them up Laura but even things when referring to in his speech in Harrison's speech he made a statement about Taylor Swift but he didn't say her name instead of using her name who is one of the most I think she is the most

successful artist of our time he said my teammate's girlfriend and then he quoted what she said he didn't even give her a name. And that's because she's out there earning the big bucks. She's out there absolutely killing it as a woman, empowering people instead of being at home, being a mother and a child bearer. But do I think he deserves the hate and backlash that he's getting? Not necessarily. Well, I mean, it was interesting. So I put up a, we made a satirical video when this speech started to go viral in the media. And the way that Instagram works is really interesting because originally when it pushes out that type of content, when you create something, it goes out to your immediate audience. And usually your immediate audience has similar

views and values to you. That's the reason why they're following you. Or they hate follow you. Or they hate follow you. So originally the response to my video, which was just basically a stab at what his speech was, it was all people being like, yes, oh my God, this is outrageous. And it was all very supportive. That video kind of went semi-viral. So it's had 1.6 million views. it's been shared 13,000 times it's had you know two and a half thousand plus comments on it so originally all the comments were like in support of me and then over the last couple of weeks what I've noticed is that the algorithm has spat that piece of content out beyond my network and once

it moved to the catholic network literally once it moved beyond my network I realized how much hate I was receiving for something that was criticizing his views and criticizing his values I mean, I think about what Travis Kelsey's come out and said, and he's obviously got to work alongside Harrison. He has to have an amicable team environment alongside Harrison. And I think that there is value in him saying, because he would have been forced to make a public statement. The backlash he would have been receiving would have also been relentless. But I think that there is so much value in being able to say, I see that this person is a good person for XYZ reasons, but their values do not align with my own values. And I think it's important to acknowledge that

because we do sometimes live in a society that tells us that you cannot be friends with people who don't have the same political views with you, or you cannot be friends with people of a different opinion, X, Y, Z, because they're anti-feminist or they're racist or they're sexist. And we can be very black and white with how we approach these sorts of conversations. And even with Ask Uncut, we get so many people who write in and ask like, oh, my boyfriend or my girlfriend believes this, is that a massive red flag? Because I have very different views to them. And I think it's tricky to give like a very black and white answer to this because I think sometimes it can be a massive red flag, but in other situations, when it comes to

friendships or relationships, people are not always entirely their political views or entirely their religious views. We're made up of many parts of ourselves. And so I guess it comes down to a big question around how much it affects your friendship the views in which you're you're you know the person that you're having a relationship holds but also how much you care about those values as to whether you can navigate a friendship or co-working alongside that person or still have respect for that person if they have alternate views to you I can't stress enough how much I think it is so important for people to have their own ideas and their own opinions otherwise we live in a world of sycophants and an echo chamber where everyone agrees with everyone. There's

no conversation. There's no learning. There's no progression. There's no change. There's no challenging and no debate. 100%. The byproduct of debate and challenging people is learning. And you do have to be, as a person, I believe, open to having your opinion changed. Once you have all the information that you need about something to formulate an opinion, I think it's so important to have your view swayed if presented in the right way. I've changed my mind about things multiple times and I think that you can have relationships with people where you differ in your religious views. I've had a relationship with somebody with a completely different religion and it's fine

as long as it doesn't become dangerous and damaging to those around you. This is where I think Harrison's speech goes wrong. His messaging, I believe, is fine if you're just talking to your friends and you don't believe in contraception, fine. If you're not hurting anyone else, whatever. You want to have your kids. Your wife wants to only stay at home and be a mother if that's what she wants to do. That's incredible if that's what everyone is choosing to do in that situation. But when you're given the influence and the platform that he's given, the Chiefs football team in America is like the Holy Grail. It is like God. People look at them for guidance. They look at them with respect. They look at them for inspiration. So when you have a platform that

big and now your speech has gone around the world and it is damaging to people. You can help sway laws in states in America with these speeches. This is for me where it's fundamentally wrong and where my non-negotiables and my boundaries about whether I can maintain a friendship with someone, this is where it starts for me. And I think that's the question you need to ask when you're in a relationship with someone or you have a friendship group. What are your non-negotiables that you know you will never ever sway on and that you will tolerate in a friendship. And I think tolerate is the word here. I think, and I don't want to just keep referring back to this Harrison speech, because I think it's important for us to kind of like zoom out and look at it

in terms of like how we navigate our friendships and our relationships in our own lives. But the only thing I want to say in defense to him, which is weird for me to be sitting here and to be kind of like, okay, playing the devil's advocate, because I don't agree with, you know, I mean, doesn't align with my values. But the context of which the speech was said in, he has said it to people who share similar views and values to him at a Catholic college. And it's been reported that he received a standing ovation for that speech. So it's interesting when you take something out of context. So that's now made it onto social media where those views and ideologies can be challenged by people who don't hold those values. But when you put it back into the context of which

that speech was said the people who it's being said to share similar ideas and so yeah that's why he was asked to give the speech totally totally and that's really important I think that that context is so so important the only thing that I think is also really I mean it's not the only thing but it is something I think is really belittling is part of that speech said that a woman's vocation being a wife and a mother that's when a woman's life truly starts and that's just so belittling not even just to people who don't choose it but to people who can't have children and can't you know make those choices for themselves or never get married it's like does their life never start because they never ever reproduced obviously we have a lot of feelings

about that but I think going back to this idea of the people that you can and can't be friends with this is a very privileged conversation for us to be able to even say can you or can't you be friends with people who share political views and the thing is is that it really depends on how much those views affect your actual life and what I mean by that is and I heard this quote on an episode of The Hookup, the Triple J podcast, The Hookup, they said don't fuck people who fuck you at their ballot box. And what they mean by that is don't be in a relationship. Don't have public sex.

No. Don't be in a relationship with somebody whose values are going to fuck your life. I mean, we're talking about this as women who have the choice to care about the things that we want to care about. But imagine if you are someone who is from the LGBTQI community, your very existence is political and you're best friends with someone who votes against the gay plebiscite. It's like, I think that you would feel very differently around whether or not

you could maintain a friendship with someone who had different political views than if it was just with someone who has an alternate religious perspective, for example. I think that that's where it becomes more black and white to a lot of people. The other thing I wanted to say about this, and I think sometimes we talk about like the left versus right, and we can only want to surround ourselves with people who have similar values to us but one of the examples I think is really interesting is so for example say that you are only friends with people who are left-wing left-minded you see that as progressive and you have a real disdain for anyone who maybe votes for a different political party to you won't date won't be friends with people and kind of cut those

people out of your life we can kind of sometimes move into a situation where we go okay well the left is progressive and the right are sexist and racist and don't care about the environment. And we can really put people into silos. But what you don't start to unpack then is the nuance as to why people care and vote for the things that they care and vote for. So for example, somebody who might be voting for a right-winged party, they could have grown up with a farming family. They could have grown up with a working farming family whose very existence revolves around that type of infrastructure, that person's going to have a very different lived experience to someone who votes strongly for the Greens and as an environmentalist. But I think if we have a little bit more empathy

and understanding for the reasons why people have the beliefs and have the ideologies that they have, it allows us to kind of meet in the middle with a place of empathy rather than creating this, it's you versus us in the reasons why people choose to believe the things that they believe. Every person should have, I believe, their own non-negotiables that they know that they're not okay to bend in a relationship and that's romantic and friendships and like just as an example for me mine for both friendships and relationships is gay marriage and the right to gay marriage if you believe two people shouldn't be together because they are the same sex for me I can't get my head around that and I will listen to your understanding like maybe you've come from a very

religious background but I don't have to be okay with it and I think that's an example of drawing a line in the sand saying, I have too many people in my life that that affects, that I wouldn't be able to happily stay in a relationship with someone that truly believes two people in love can't spend their life together. Yeah. And I think everyone has those non-negotiables, but I think it's too simple for us to sit here and say, yes, you absolutely can be friends with people who have differing views and no, you can't because it is so dependent on what those views are. And it is so dependent on how those views directly affect your life. When it comes to religious beliefs. That for me, and I know that there are people who navigate it and have

successful romantic relationships, but I think that that is a very challenging one to overcome. And the reason why I say that is because somebody has to compromise in that situation. There's this saying that you shouldn't be with someone who you are unequally yoked to. I think this is more pertains to Christianity, but if you are Christian, being with someone who doesn't hold the same ideas as you the same belief systems as you at the same level at the same level and doesn't have the same relationship with God what that means is that it will impact your ability to be able to perform your duty to God in a way that is required of you so it's like they are not a good relationship and a good fit because as much as you can respect someone's

alternate values those values will directly impact your ability to maintain and uphold your values because you're supposed to be in a relationship together. So I do think that there are many instances where differing views make it impossible to maintain and have the intensity of some relationships, but it doesn't mean you can't be friends with these people. And I think sometimes the best place of learning comes from being friends with people who have different views with you because you get into really good debates and it either reinforces the reasons why you believe the things that you believe, or it challenges the way that you believe things and the reason why you believe things. And so I, like myself, I have many friends who I would say

I like them as a person, but I do not share the same beliefs as them. But we have some of the most interesting conversations because of that very reason. And the debates are fierce, but they're done in a way that's respectful. And even though we walk away from those debates, not agreeing with each other, I do feel like I learn things which challenge me a little bit around why I feel the way I feel. I dated someone for a few years that was Muslim and I am not religious at all. The reason that was fine was because for him, his level of intensity, there were some differing views, but his level of intensity was just at the fact that he believed in the foundation of love and kindness. Like that is a key part of the Muslim religion. Then

obviously depending on what intensity you are with your religion it goes into a whole lot of other stuff that is something that we had to discover at the start of the relationship are we going to be able to work around that is he going to want my children to grow up in his religion like these are the things that you need to ask yourself before you get into a serious relationship with someone my brother-in-law Jay is Sikh and my sister is not but that's fine and it works because he's not really practicing like he believes in it but it's you know they had an Indian Sikh wedding. They also had an Australian wedding. Like they have learned to meet halfway. The compromises.

That's why their relationship works. So I think that absolutely relationships can work when you have different views. As long as together combined, you understand where each other are coming from and it's agreeable. I would say though, that there'd be so many people listening to this who have had very heated disagreements with their partners around conflicting views. And often, I mean, it's very easy to say, oh, I would never date someone who's got different political views to me, but how often are you sitting down on a very first date and going, cool, what are your beliefs in this, this, this, and this? Often you'll catch feelings before you fully understand where people sit in terms of what they believe and how they

think. And then it's not until a big thing happens, whether it's reflected in society, whether there's a speech that goes viral, that you actually sit down with your partner and have a bit of a debate or an argy-bargy around what they think and how they feel. And often that's when you realize, oh my God, fuck, I'm dating someone who thinks X, Y, Z. And I guess it's then navigating how important those views are to them and how they respond to you not sharing the same feelings. Because some people can get really defensive and some people can become very belittling in how they communicate the things that they think and how they feel. Do you think, Laura, social media has made it easier or harder to maintain a relationship with

someone of differing views and values. Harder. Absolutely. And I say this because I have people who are on my social media who I am, you know, they're either acquaintances or I'm friends with, or there've been people who've been part of my life for like 20 years. I'm not going to just cut them out, but they share radically different political views to me. And I've had people contact me like strangers contact me and say, how the fuck can you be friends with this person? I'm like, Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Firstly, friends, you've really managed to reduce a lot from just knowing that I follow someone. But just because I have someone in my orbit doesn't mean I believe their political stances. Doesn't mean that I agree with the things they say. And I think sometimes we

can draw a lot of conclusions, but I do think that there are people out there who have led us to believe that if somebody believes in something different to you, that you should cut them out of your life. Yeah. What a boring life if we did that. Of course you can, of course you can have your own opinions and you can go against the grain or go against their opinion. You can have an argument or a debate with them. You don't have to cut someone out of your life for one different interview. You don't have to cancel someone online because you don't agree with one thing they've said. I mean, you know, look, and there might be some things in your life that are the non-negotiables that mean you do have to cut someone out. I understand that, that that bar is going to sit

differently for each person, but it does make me come back to a conversation we had so long ago. and I remember a review that was written. I was talking about my grandparents. My papa's, he's passed away now. My grandma is very elderly and has dementia. And I said, you know, they would say things back when I was in my twenties that I did not agree with. They voted for Pauline Hanson. I deeply did not agree with them. And this is not me making an excuse for them, but they grew up in a time that was very different to me and they have very different political social views. My grandfather was an immigrant as well he immigrated from Italy and was absolutely bullied for being a quote-unquote wog yet he still supported Pauline Hanson which to me sounds crazy but it's because

it's almost like he felt like he earned his right to be in this country and so I know guys I'm saying I'm explaining how my now dead 90 something year old grandfather felt about it I'm not saying I agree with him but I remember having this conversation on the podcast and saying that I gave him more grace than what I would someone who's my age. And that's because one, he's my papa and I didn't want to cut him out of my life because he was like my dad. And two, because even though he believes something doesn't mean I have to. And I remember this review where someone was like, Laura's making excuses for racists. And I was like, wow, no, what I'm doing is just trying to have empathy for someone who I love, who I don't want to cut out of my life. And who you

know and believe 90% of the rest of what he believes. He's a good human who raised you, who did wonderful things and said wonderful things. He has one point of view that differs wholeheartedly to you. That I radically disagree with. Exactly. But the thing I always think of, and I know that it's almost a privileged place to be like, oh, cut all these people out. But imagine you get to a point in your life as a parent, if you become a parent and you decide to have children, where we are in our fifties or in our sixties, and we have grown up children who have agency and choice. How do you navigate the situation when your children have different political views to you? How do you navigate the situation when your children have different

religious views to you? Do you cut them out of your life? Do you decide that they're people that you don't want to be around or speak to anymore because they don't believe the things that you believe? And it's going to be a very real impossible situation that our kids don't agree with us in the same way that we often don't agree with our parents. I think that there are some relationships in life that you almost sometimes have to put down your disagreements in order to cohabitate in a way that leads with love and empathy. So yeah, I have a lot of feelings around this, but I think we're always going to have relationships in life with people who don't agree with us and it's how we navigate through them, whether we can coexist alongside them.

I think it takes a really strong person to not want to go and attack someone immediately when they don't believe in it, to really sit back and listen to somebody's train of thought, listen to someone's reason and say I'm going to agree to disagree with you still love you see you next week for coffee it is time for accidentally unfiltered and now we've received a couple of great ones but I saw something on Instagram the other day and it was a reel that has gone absolutely viral and this poor woman's literal accidentally unfiltered story was I think for me you know how we used to be back in the day you used to be worried about accidentally liking someone's photo or accidentally commenting something on Facebook like the time when I

You did it like a hundred times. Well, yeah, like the time that I updated my status with my boyfriend at the time's ex-girlfriend's name because the search bar and the status bar were so close to each other and I wrote Sophie **** and wanted my life to end because how do you explain that to your boyfriend? I did the same thing. How do you explain that, that that's my status? I had the guy that I was seeing and then I was trying to stalk his new girlfriend and I just friend requested her.

Didn't know her. She lived in a different country. What's wrong with us? Okay, so strap yourself in. this woman was bitching to a colleague about a person that she works with right so she was talking about this woman who they're both in the same department they both work together who she has a couple of problems with unbeknownst to the woman who she has the problems with let's just call her sarah jane so she's bitching about sarah jane describing all the things that she hates

about working alongside her and then all of a sudden her apple watch tells her that the message has been sent, the message dictated her entire bitchy conversation and sent it to the person that she was talking about. And I think that this is how robots are coming back to fuck us. It's not what Will Smith said. They're not here to end the world. They're just here to ruin our lives. Do you remember that time?

Imagine. This has just hit me. There was that time that you and I were sitting on my lounge at my house and there was the guy that I had started seeing. And remember we'd said his name and we started talking, talking, talking a lot of personal stuff. and my phone had dictated the whole thing to him and I looked down and the message was about to send,

do you want to press send, and I nearly had an aneurysm. I was like, ah! It was in Instagram and it was a voice recording. We voice recorded our entire thing. Oh, I'm dying thinking about that. I love these sorts of stories. I mean, we rely on technology for so much, but I also love hearing the times when it's totally fucked your life.

Hope you're okay. RIP. I know someone recently, you've just made me think of this, that did this worse at work was typing all these things they didn't like about a work colleague to another. They were having a bitching session. And they sent it to them. And they sent it to the person that they didn't like.

You've got to be careful. That's like a Freudian slip where you're doing something but because you're writing about the person, you think you're sending it to someone else but you send it to them. It's stupid. I guess this is the thing, right? Let's just not bitch at the end of the day. That'd be nice.

Okay, I've got one and this is something we have all done. I have a friend who has been single for a while who I'm always looking out for eligible bachelors for. I really want to hook them up. There is a guy I work with and we both have agreed is an absolute babe. She would be good with him. He's a bit of a shy introverted type and she was telling me she doesn't know what to talk to him about.

We were out drinking one night and I was trying to give her the pep talk of a lifetime, telling her to be bold and ask him out for a drink. I picked up my phone and went through to find some work-related phone texts that I had had with him from months ago. I was trying to go back and look at some talking points that she could use with him because she just had no idea what to talk about. At this stage, it's about 12.30am and as I was scrolling, I had love heart reacted to a random message back from October. I quickly deleted it and then called my friend over to work out if you get notifications from iPhone messages when you react to something. We learned that not only do you get a notification,

but you also get a notification when you unlike it. So at 12.30 from six months before to a work colleague, she's love-hearted his photos and then unliked them and he got both of those messages. Would you not die? I wouldn't die. I wouldn't. I would be okay.

I would continue in my life. Why is that person stalking my messages from like six months ago? I don't know. Does it tell you from when though that they've liked it? Yes, it comes up with a love heart. But if you've unliked it, you'll just have a notification saying that person liked a message and then you'll get another notification saying that they've unliked it.

So it could have just been the message from yesterday. He doesn't know that it was from a message from October. Yeah, but what if he saw the like and he was like, wow, that's weird. And then he saw it unlike and he's like, oh, they've taken it back. Is it worse to take the heart back? Like, do you just commit to the heart from six months ago about the coffee that you had in your lunch break? This is why it's great to have children because I just blame everything on my kids.

I just say, oh, sorry, my kids had my phone. Sorry, my kids are bitching about you. What do I do? What do I do when I do that? Delilah had my phone. Yeah, but it's the voice automated text. They're like, it was your text, Laura. We can hear your voice.

Delilah was talking back. Delilah was talking smack again. All right. It's time for Suck and Sweet for the week. Britt, I think that your sweet is going to be the fact that Ben gets here tonight. Even though it hasn't happened, I feel like that you're preempting your sweets. But what is your suck and what is your sweet? My suck is that, and I think it's going to turn into a sweet.

My suck is a very simple one this week, but my plant in my garden, if you follow me on Instagram, you'll see, it's a beautiful, I don't know what it's called. It's called a monstera. My monstera has overgrown to a ridiculous, like it is crawling along the ground. And I was like, okay, what do I do with this? Can I cut it?

Do I have to put a stake in it? Do I have to put it in another pot plant? Before you unpack this, I have a bone to pick with you. No, that's it. It doesn't go further than that. Why wouldn't you ask me? I know everything. I did ask you.

You don't watch my Instagrams. I asked you on Instagram. No, I watched, I replied. You asked everyone and I was like, Brittany, you could send me a message. That is calling you out. That means you didn't listen to it because I specifically in my Instagram said, Laura Byrne, your full name, first and second name. I mean, I can show you it.

Yes, I did. I called you out. So all my plant people here, I could probably ask Laura Byrne. She'll probably know. So can I, like this plant is going crazy and it's growing out. I just saw plant people and I was like. No, I said Laura Byrne, your exact name. I was like, you have a free plant person in your life and I'm here.

Well, come and do it then. I don't want your advice. I want someone to come to my house and fix it. Your Monstera needs a stake because it's a plant that needs emotional support and physical support in its life. So do I. No one's staking me. It needs someone to climb up.

But Ben will stake you tonight and you will be emotionally supported. I will do the climbing. I was like, baby. So, yes. Do you know what? You say that the Monstera is your suck, but to be fair, I'm pretty sure the Monstera would say that you're their suck. It's reaching out.

It's trying to get some support in its life and you're not giving it any. Yeah. He's still thriving though. And my suite 100% hasn't happened yet, but it's happening in six hours. Benny's coming and I'm very excited. That's my suite. You're going to hear all about it. I apologize in advance for the next month that he's here and that I'm here.

we're gallivanting we're having fun we're having adventures we're making memories we have our polaroid in our polaroid book that's the cute little thing that we do ben has bought so many polaroids i think we have 100 polaroids to make in our book and you guys are going to hear all about it so sorry i can't wait to hear what the shrine looks like after the next three weeks the shrine's pathetic the shrine is evolving everyone stay tuned my suck for the week do you know what it's i know that we're not supposed to do this but i've had a really really great week Like I genuinely, we went down to Mollymook for the weekend. So I'm going to start with my sweet.

We had such a good time. We went back to, like I said, we went back to where we got married. It was so beautiful. Matt and I had some proper, like we had some proper couple time, which means we've had sex twice in the last week and he's happy and everything is good. It's so funny. We were sitting at lunch the other day and he said, I've put it together. And I was like, oh yeah.

He's like, I know what it is. And I was like, what are you talking about? I'm happier with sex. and he's like I feel happier when we have sex and I was like that's great that I'm really glad that you came to that realization he's like no but like when we haven't had sex for a long time I think that there's something wrong he's like but then when we do have sex a lot he's like I'm just content life is good so I mean that's a lesson for everyone he's a simple man I know it kind of goes against everything that we teach on this podcast but no but the sex is important yeah he's

reinforcing stereotypes and thanks thank god for that yeah so anyway we had a great weekend really great time family wise couple wise parenting wise it was just a lot of goals in that respect and I would say that the only suck but it's going to be my suck ongoing is on the way home we went and saw Neil and spent some more time down in Wollongong and he's just it's just awful it's just awful because it is exactly as we described it the other week it's that long goodbye and I think because Neil is so sick it is really hard to sit in the trivial things like there's been lots of stuff that's happened lately that normally I would go oh that's my suck or that's my suck like breaking down paying to get my car fixed like there's been so

many small things that are life inconveniences but then every time I go down to Wollongong and I spend time with my mom and I and I see Neil I'm like why are we complaining they don't they don't compare so that yeah in itself perspective is a wonderful thing yeah yeah it really is but anyway guys that is it from us brit i'm so happy for you and i can't wait for the update spare me the gory details but i'm very very happy and act like you don't want to know oh yeah tell me you're following me to byron bay this weekend so you can't wait to hear about that two minutes yeah but that's only the first time he'll back it up and anyway guys if you've missed the visuals we also have a youtube channel so if you want to hear and see all about brittany's escapades no i don't have a video in

my escapades it's not only bands you can join us on youtube and go and watch all the episodes laura you cannot fake solicit my sex life to people on our youtube to get subscribers just subscribe because you like us not because you want to see us have sex britney's doing doggy on youtube anyway and that's it yeah with the lila ew not doggy my dog is on there you sickos You are fucking cut, that. That is it from us, guys. Laura's fired. Please go and leave a review if you've listened to the pod and you enjoy it.

And you know the drill. Also, someone complained about our catch call. Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends and share the love because Because the catch call's staying. We love love! We'll be right back.