Life Uncut - Do You Like Your Labia ... Puffed? Plus The Man Who *Likely Faked His Own Death

Episode Date: November 18, 2024

Hey Lifers, It's officially Britt's bangiversary! She's tried to dupe Ben into a fancy gift but Ben's aware of her antics.We speak about the advice we got from our grandmothers. Some of it hasn't aged particularly well.  We might have found the world's most conflict avoidant man; the man who *likely has faked his own death to ditch his family and go to a woman in Europe. There was a video filmed back in June (two months before Ryan Borgwardt's disappearance). It shows a man on a bike asking if he should go to Uzbekistan to meet a woman, despite being married. After the video went viral, authorities say that the video isn't Ryan.  Also, how do you like your labia? We've spoken about symmetry, length and comfort when it comes to labia but labia puffing seems new.We ask: Is our generation more obsessed than ever with labia? Do you think this trend highlights empowerment or unnecessary pressure for perfection? You can watch us on Youtube Find us on Instagram Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This episode was recorded on Camaragal land. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. And Brittany, you look very nice today. You're very dressed up. Wait, can you please keep in the part where Brittany said, tell me I look nice today? Can that go at the start of this episode? I'm going to fuck you, Britt. get into your story whatever it is that you've been holding for me just tell me i look nice today

okay i'm just trying to help you guys out because i wanted to segue into my story you do look lovely you look it's not performative you look so cute cutest why well it doesn't mean as much when i've asked you to tell me to be fair though and in your defense i'd already said how cute you looked and you were like, cool, say it again. I was like, save it for the podcast. The only reason is because I wanted to say today I did dress up a little bit more because it is my bangiversary. I love, congratulations, firstly.

You don't know what to do with that information, do you? Because Ben does not live here. No, I love that within two weeks now we've spoken about your bangiversary. It's like really permeated what the podcast is. and I think we should all be celebrating the day that we have sex more than the day that we commit to a relationship. Thank you.

I agree. But I was like, it's my anniversary so I'm going to like dress up a little bit. Why? I'm like, why? But Ben got on, we did our morning FaceTime and he was like, happy anniversary, babe. He's like, you look so nice. I'm like, thanks, it's for the anniversary.

And then I'm like, this is either really romantic or very pathetic and I can't work out which one. No, it just means you're still in the honeymoon phase because like I said, I woke up on my anniversary and went and took a dump. And Matt was like, happy anniversary, sweetie. And somebody, somebody on our TikTok, some prick wrote, this couple isn't even going to last the year. And I was like.

You're like, listen here, Jonathan. I was like, well, we're in a lot of debt, so we probably will. Okay? We will. Because we can't afford the divorce and we love each other still a lot. We also can't sleep in separate rooms because my mother-in-law lives with us. So, no, we will not be separating. I love the internet trolls.

It's also funny because, like, for me, like, I look back on the whole situation. Situation? By look back, do you mean you watch it back? No, I meant, like, how we met. People have been saying since day one, oh, they're not going to last a year. And then every time, what we should be celebrating isn't anniversaries. We should be celebrating just proving all of the random strangers on the internet wrong. You know what I get?

I get this once a week at minimum, which is pretty good, I guess. Someone being like, oh, you know, he's cheating on you. I'm like, is he Bob? Is he Bob from Galway? No, but Britt, I'm very happy for your bangiversary. I'm thrilled for you. Thank you. It's a gorgeous look on you.

So it's two years today, which is insane. Like I cannot believe that it was two years ago that we met. It was so funny having the chat with Ben. Like I always try and start these romantic conversations. People are going to cringe, but I actually Googled this. What are questions to ask your partner? I was like, when did you know that I was the one or that I was different? And he always says the same thing, which is like, it was the moment that we walked across

the road on the bang, like weekend, the moment we walked across the road and you grabbed my hand as we're running through traffic. And he's like, when you grabbed my, it was, it's pretty cute. When you grabbed my hand, I was like, oh no, I'm in trouble. And I was like, oh, that's so cute. And then he goes, when did you know? He's like, it was the sex, wasn't it? I was like, what a manly thing to say.

And I was like, I hate to burst your bubble. it was not the sex the sex was great but he was quite a selfish lover on that first day because because he was like and we had this conversation this morning he openly said i didn't think i was seeing you again he's like so i'm gonna put my hand up and say it was about me he's like that night was about me because i was like well yeah i'm here for a purpose but also like why did you go back to a selfish lover and give him round two well because i still came yeah sure which he thinks he goes doesn't matter how you win the lotto britney he's like as long as you win it anyway I was like, birthday's bubble.

I was like, no. But then off the back of your anniversary last week, it got me thinking, you know, how we were talking about what each anniversary is a different thing. It was like cotton and. Yeah. So I mentioned that. I said, oh, what gift is it this year?

And he's like, what do you mean? I said, oh, you know how like every year is a gift. And then I was like, oh, my God, he doesn't know. I think it's supposed to be for wedding anniversaries, isn't it? Yeah, but he doesn't know that. So I told him. What's the year two? I should know.

It's cotton. it's cotton but I first of all I told him it was a car I was like it's a car like it's aluminium that has petrol in it no I don't I don't know if this makes me a bad person but I was like it's a car and then he quickly googled but he didn't google what it was he goes is wedding year anniversary gifts a thing kind of thing and he was like oh it is a thing and I was like yeah he's like but babe it's just for weddings and I was like yeah it does look different in just a relationship I was like when you're just together and you're not married yet and it's two years it's diamonds and he was like oh okay to be fair though i'm pretty sure you have gotten diamonds

every year from him no in some way not not one well yeah you got one sorry so are you kidding like what are you talking about four carrots on your left hand right anyway my point is i want that was an engagement though that's that hits different my point is am i a bad person because i've tricked him into thinking that he needs to get me a gift also ben's not dumb enough he's not tricked into anything he's just like oh here she goes again he actually probably knows how cute this though his grandma and grandpa he was really close to like you laura they almost raised him as well like yeah you were not close to his grandparents that's that was not the sentence i grew up really close to ben's grandparents we lived together also they were like parents for me

yeah they raised me you speak swiss german it's you know people say there's like six degrees of separation but in some cases there's only one you're like siblings so his his grandparents also sort of raised him they lived next door to each other and he his mom was like a single mom his grandparents picked him up exactly like your situation so he was really close to them but in their little town they have a tiny town his grandparents were married for 67 years they died in their 90s but they whole town threw a party for them for their 60th wedding anniversary and the mayor wrote them a letter that's so is that not the most wholesome thing you've ever experience I mean there's 600 people in the town so everyone knows each other it's very very sweet

it's super super wholesome but yeah my my grandparents made it to 67 years as well except my nan had dementia and no yeah she remembered she was married though she lost forgot a lot of stuff but at least she remembered she had a husband she did unfortunately my papa he passed away first and nan was convinced that she was married to a man in the home and thought that was papa so like well things really spiraled out of control do you reckon that's why sex is so rampant in nursing homes and retirement villages because they forget no I don't think that's it They say – so it's different – a retirement village versus a nursing home, two very different things.

I think, like, retirement villages, like, people have still got a bit of wind left in their sails, right? Like, they're out there living their life. They're just, like, surrounded by people who are of a similar age and in a similar life phase to them, whereas, like, nursing homes are people who need help. They need assistance. So I don't think that they're out there doing stuff.

I do. I don't. I reckon we've got a life fund right now that is, like, a nurse at a nursing home or something. slide into the dms and just let us know because these it's one of those myths that goes around forever that nursing homes are where it's at no it's retirement villages trust me i've spent a lot of time in nursing homes recently and they ain't going out with a bang yeah well my nan is single in a retirement village and i don't want to think about that my grandparents are still

married and one set of my grandparents they've been married for it must be 66 years now maybe 67 my nan is two years older than my pop and she has always said two things one she said marry for love but love where the money is and the other was get them young and train them oh do you know what my nan always said god nans are good my nan used to always say marry a man with lots of money and one foot in the grave and I was like nan it's called a sugar daddy their values have really changed yeah they really have but also like to be fair nan did not marry for the man who had one foot in the grave or the man who had lots of money. So she married for love and my grandfather was the best, but she's always like, could have had more money. It could have been an easier life.

When my nan first met Ben, so about 18 months ago, they didn't meet for quite a while. When they first met, she loved him, right? But it was still pretty early on. I was driving her back to her retirement village in the car. It was just us two. She's like, what's going on here? Is this serious? And I said, oh, I think so, nan. I think I'm pretty serious. And she goes, yeah, but is he serious and I said oh no he's more serious than me she goes well it doesn't matter how serious you are then you're getting on lock it down that's what my nan said she goes he's good enough and I was like no nan he's no no no he's not he's not good enough he's great she's like good enough lock it down she's like I don't care yeah she doesn't care how great he was she's like

he seems great he's handsome he seems nice you're nearly 40 she's like get the crack on I couldn't believe it maybe the expectations we've got in the dating world now are a little unrealistic. Maybe good enough is what we should be looking for. There's some wisdom that we could all get from our grandmothers. Good enough. No, no, I disagree with that. I think standards are important. The worst advice I've ever had. And back in the day, grandparents just used to marry the person that was in their closest vicinity. Like it was shocking that in the sixties and the fifties, everyone's soulmate was in the same town. Like wild. But anyway. For all the shit dating apps get, at least we can go a little further than our two kilometer radius. This is true. Well,

look, I mean, there was something I got absolutely enthralled by over the weekend about a guy who might have staged his own death. Did you hear about this? So there is a man, his name is Ryan Borgwart. Sorry if I butchered that. That's why he staged his own death. Ryan Borgwart. He's from Wisconsin. And in August this year, he was kayaking. He went out on a lovely kayak on a very deep lake. That sounds lovely. What a blissful morning he had. And then he texts his wife at like 10am saying, I'm on my way back into shore. And then he was never heard from again. So he's kayak was uncovered and it was upturned and then they had like months and months and months of people deep diving to try and find him so originally they thought obviously some terrible

accidents occurred and his life vest was found attached to the kayak this sorry guys this sounds so grim i've really taken a turn here from the bangiversary but bear with me so it was thought that he had died yeah and as you would think like horrible this is a father of three children he's just vanished after a lovely blissful kayak anyway the police thought that some of it was a little bit suspicious and there is an agency in the states called podol or something anyway but they kind of like investigate this type of stuff and they had to get his passport or they had to get like all of the different identifying things that he had you know his personal ids and so his wife found his passport handed it over she handed over his laptop all of this stuff and it turns out

that the passport that she found of his was an old passport that he had said he had lost. And several months earlier, he'd applied for a new one that she never knew about. But what, the new one, is it just the same one renewed or did he try and change his identity? No, it's just the same one renewed, but it meant that, like, if he staged his death and his wife went looking for his things,

his passport and everything was there, right? Like, genius, smart guy. Yeah, but surely somewhere clocks your passport if you're going to leave the country. you would think that that is that is also what has happened here so he's a moron so they also then took his laptop he'd cleared his laptop he'd cleared all the search history in it he'd like wiped it clean the day and the morning off so that giveaway nothing to see here red flag and yeah so apparently he escaped to somewhere in europe like he's like vanished like

abandoned his children abandoned his family took nothing with him and went to europe so the reason why that this has come up now is because there was a video that started circulating and it went absolutely viral of a woman who basically she was like holding a sign which is like ask me for advice and you can you know like people on the street yeah you know how people hold like you know free hugs or whatever so this man on a bicycle rides up and he stops and he asks a question basically the question that he asks is whether or not he should leave his wife and run away to Uzbekistan to be with this woman who he's obviously having some sort of internet affair with imagine trying to make your life decisions based on someone on the street that has a sign saying

ask me anything to be fair I went to a clairvoyant once because I didn't know whether I should leave my boyfriend or not so I also did but at least they have a name at least they're a clairvoyant at least this one's free yeah I paid 250 bucks to go to a clairvoyant for them to give me no clear answer so waste of money anyway so the reason why this went viral is because people were saying that the guy in the video was this Ryan who vanished now I told you I went down the rabbit hole oh i went down it turns out it is not the same person but it is the reason why what an end to a story turns out there's no link it turns out that he's still missing he's still missing but everyone is talking about the fact that he staged his own death he even took out

life insurance before he left 365 000 in life insurance okay so do they actually know that he's alive somewhere. Well, they think so because on the 13th of August, which was two days after his kayaking didn't come back, the second passport, the new one, you know, that Laura said he got this new one because he said that he lost it when he didn't actually lose it. Border officials said that he kind of crossed Canada's border with that passport. So they think he's gone to Canada and somehow gotten across to Europe. Imagine hating. Yeah, it's really bad. Like a literal ghosting. you'd have made yourself dead but imagine hating your life so much imagine being so miserable or he probably wasn't that miserable imagine like having such an affair that you can't

escape from your life that you can't leave your community your town and everything else with the shame of just walking away from it so you leave dead it is crazy it's funny right surface level ha ha ha but when you actually think about it it's so fucked like just leave But to put your family and kids through the fact that you think your father drowned in this horrific accident, like just leave, just leave. Just let them think you're a fuckwit. I mean, we do talk about avoidant personalities and I would say if he was to do the personality test, he would rate pretty high.

Like we all, so many of us don't like conflict, but I reckon this guy's pretty high up there in terms of his conflict avoidance. If you are trying to avoid an argument by leaving the country and pretending you're dead, yeah, you win. Do you know, I do think it's interesting though. so it turns out maybe maybe i haven't gone down the rabbit hole far enough maybe i need to keep going but it's not actually illegal to stage your own death it's only illegal the things the things that are surrounding the staging of the death so if you take out life insurance you try and claim

on those things like that part of it's illegal the fraud but if you actually just like pretend to your family that you're dead and then you go away i wonder if if though because there was so many resources that went into trying to find him so like a lot of rescue services like deep diving rescue services that tried to find his body in the waterways that's a crime yeah i wonder if that is like a waste of like public resources is a crime don't you remember that guy a year or two ago i don't remember we probably talked about on the podcast but the guy that went to the extreme of faking his own death to see who would turn up at his funeral and then he turned up and he was like motherfuckers like half of the people didn't come it was don't you remember that i do remember

the news story of it it was so funny but what a good way to weed out like the really good people in your life because then you go on living and you don't have to have those people around. Yeah, but all the people who are still living who came probably aren't going to think very highly of you. I'm sure there was more to that story, so I'll fact check that. That's how I remember it. Don't quote me.

But interesting about the life insurance thing because if he has left, right, we've said that the illegal part of it, it's not illegal to stage your own death, which seems like an oversight to me to begin with. I don't reckon because if you want to pretend you're not here anymore, that's up to you. it's causing a lot of emotional distress on people but yeah so is every guy I've ever dated like you're causing emotional distress isn't a crime but I think the fraud part in that scenario

let's say that he has taken off to some country let's say that like the guy on the bike he did go to Uzbekistan to meet this woman because it's the family claiming the life insurance policy right so did they then get in trouble if he's found alive like who's the criminal responsibility on no it has to be him because he's the one who staged this all like the poor family they have to pay it back yeah absolutely you don't get to keep it out of goodwill yeah if you if you get insurance that's paid out that's like paid out under dubious circumstances you have to pay it back okay this was not supposed to be an investigation of the insurance companies what are we doing right now no this is not supposed to be an insurance chat but this is

so such a natural segue please tell me you saw the people that tried to claim the insurance on the car with the bear costume. This is very niche chat. I feel like if you've not been in the news this weekend, you wouldn't know about the guy in Uzbekistan and you wouldn't know about the bear man. But you know, now these were both things that tickled my fancy so much. There was a proper, I think it was like a ghost Bentley. Like it was a really expensive car, $300,000 or something. And these people tried to do an insurance claim by pretending they had like CCTV footage. They said a bear broke in and ruined the car and it does i watched the footage and i was like oh my god that's insane a huge bear black and white footage is in the front seat ripping stuff up

taking stuff causing so much havoc but then it turns out the insurance company did a proper investigation it was just a ploy it was just someone that dressed up in a bear suit and was in the car pretending to be a bear he was like like ripping the car did you see the claws that they'd made they'd made like these nunchuck type things that they were holding on to and so it was just a person dressed in a bear costume with like spiky nunchucks that he was like ripping into the car but the reason why they did okay i also know this story the reason why they did the insurance investigation is because it was the third time three bears ripping apart different cars in the area seemed really highly statistically unlikely and the people that did

the insurance fraud, kept the bear costume in their house. Why? There's photos. The police found the bear costume in their home. There's a photo of it on the internet laid out on the floor. It's actually quite realistic. I kind of commend the fact that they've gone to that much effort. If it wasn't three times, as someone that did consume the footage,

I believed it. So if they just did it once, I reckon those nunchucks would have brought it home. Guys, if you don't know what the fuck we're talking about, I'm going to put it all on socials. We're going to put the dude on the bike from Uzbekistan. We're going to put the man in the bear suit with the nunchucks. Like it was all happening across the weekend in the news.

My bangiversary is going up. We're also putting a photo of Brynn fucking from two years ago. Because obviously we filmed it, no. Well, my rabbit hole looked a little bit different to your rabbit hole this week, but it was a hole nonetheless. Have you heard about labia puffing? Yes, I have. She's got it.

You've got it, don't you? No, trust me, this labia is un-puffed. Oh, I just went down this hole. It's deflated. Well, let me tell you about... You know when you hold a balloon out and it makes that... You blow it up and then, I don't know, I've got... Fuck, the kids do it these days.

They blow it up and then you hold it down and it's like... That's what happens to your labia? That's where mine's at. I worry people think we talk about labia a lot here. Spradically, we sprinkle in some labia, but this is taking over the internet at the moment. We're labia-obsessed. I'm obsessed with my labias.

But this is the question, not even us, society, like our generation of women. I don't know if it's something that we've done on our own or if it's something that people have been pushing on us and it's like one of those subliminal messages because if we weren't seeing it everywhere, we wouldn't be thinking about it, we wouldn't be conscious about it. But labia, labiaplasties, now labia pluffing,

labia fluffing and pluffing, pluff it up like a cushion, it's everywhere and it's what people are talking about. So just before we have a lolly loll and break this down, just to tell you what it is, it's filler in your labia majora. They just put filler in it like you would put filler in your face or your lips. It's the same filler or they can even use fat so they can get a bit of fat, put the fat in and it's to rejuvenate the vulva. So when you say fat, I mean, you can have liposuction somewhere and then have it injected

into your labia. The fat transfer is obviously a bit riskier because it's more of an operation. otherwise it's non-surgical it's like you whip in you get some Botox you get some filler under your eyes you get some filler in your lips you get some filler in your other lips and that's it it's like in and out transformation I'm not surprised like look I have many feelings about this I will definitely unpack it but I'm not surprised that people care a lot more about their labias than what they did 10-15 years ago maybe people always cared to some extent but because we have this like very sex positive and we are talking about sex way more and we're

talking about how much women are supposed to enjoy it and how much we're supposed to be sex liberal part of that is also the fact that we are paying more attention to our vulvas there's more conversation around it and we're probably entertaining the idea especially if you're single of having more sexual partners than what you may have done back in the day like that's kind of like something that is way more accepted now than what it used to be speaking about your vulvas comparing them and then you've got porn on top so there's like this very obvious point of comparison where you can see idealistically what it could and should look like in the same way that plastic surgery has astronomically increased for your face i am not surprised that

plastic surgery for every other part of your body has increased parallel to that and i'm on the fence about it because i want to say and this i truly do believe it doesn't matter it does not matter what it looks like is a beautiful part of your body that most people if you're in a relationship with your partner shouldn't care and if your partner cares that's another conversation but then I want to also say I understand why people have insecurities about these kind of things now because people are forced to feel that way yeah and we've said multiple times what we joke about Laura chopping a labia off and having a labiaplasty but if it's actually making you uncomfortable or you want to do a little rejuve down there for reasons that are not purely aesthetic of course

that's okay like of course it's okay to change whatever you want it is fascinating to me I would say that I get messages from lifers at least once every two to three days about labiaplasties. If there's been an article that's like deterring women from getting one, you will send it to me. I appreciate it, but I receive it. If there's one around like statistics of labiaplasties, it gets sent to me. Like anything that's happening in the sphere of pop culture around labiaplasties, I know about it because it's sent to me. How does that make you feel? It doesn't make me feel any more in either direction because like I'm not doing it. I mean, maybe too much information for everyone but I'm not doing it because it's like an aesthetic thing

I don't care about the aesthetics of it I'm not looking at my vulva and being like oh gosh I wish that one thing was the same height as the other it's because like there are times now where I can feel it it's not comfortable like and I know that if I was to have another kid or in more time when gravity takes even more hold it's not going to be something that is a comfortable experience I want to wear jeans without feeling like my fucking labia is about to get trapped in there right Yeah, you want to be able to jump off the playground with the kids and not fly. With a sugar glider.

But so I know a lot of people, and there's been some of you that have said to us, fuck you. Some of you guys have messaged before and been like, hey, I really find it not funny that you joke about Laura and her labia. Firstly, I want to say, one, it's mine, so I feel comfortable joking about it. And it's also mine as well in a way. And two, it's that this is in no way has this conversation

and ever been around you need to do these things for aesthetic like I don't think we could be more vocal about the fact that it's absolutely unnecessary to prettify your vulva like I honestly it makes me mad if people feel as though they need to do that for anybody else's validation or for anyone else's satisfaction you know and sometimes when I think about plastic surgery I'm like we can say we're doing it for ourselves because it makes ourselves feel better but the reality is your vulva unless it's causing you discomfort you're actually doing it for someone else because you're doing it for their perception of your vulva because no one else sees it unless it's someone that you're having a sexual relationship with so like I don't want to

shame anyone who chooses to do it you're absolutely welcome to but I think that there should just be some things where you're like fuck's sake it's hard enough and spend that money where it's cost positive more people see your face than your vulva yeah it's about 1200 bucks so it's not it's not cheap but also like if it's a real worry for you also affordable so it's like either one do know what I mean like if you really are at the point and most people are from 45 on I want to say that this is something that happens once you've had kids like you just said Laura your vulva changes like everything down there becomes something different it could be uncomfortable you might not be happy with it for whatever reason but also gravity aging and loses elasticity like

it's a normal part of aging it's sad to me that I think the more and we're probably leaning into it now but the more that people are talking about it the more people are aware of it but we just want to be like love yourself if it's aesthetic unless it's your job you're in porn or you're in the sex industry and it bothers you and you want to be yeah and it's an aesthetic thing where you feel like you need to make it look different for whatever reason then like I mean your body your choice do what you want but I would hate for people to feel like they need to be making these changes I think it's a terrible standard that we hold ourselves to as women this idea that like when you're in your 40s you should still look like you're in your 20s or your 30s and when you're

in your 50s you should look like you're in your 40s and that has now permeated all parts of our body like it'd also be weird if you were like a 90 year old grandma but your vagina was giving 20 snatched like just like here I am and so plump like it's okay for parts of us to age and like you would expect with whilst everything else deflates you would expect your vulva to deflate as well no one's talking about guys getting their balls lifted like you can actually get that done you can get totally but where is the media attention around it you know like there's loads of things that guys can do as well that are for cosmetic effect you know men can get their breasts removed like the fat around their nipples removed and it's a cosmetic procedure but it gets no air

time like you know if men can go and get their balls sack lifted all of the you know I mean I was gonna say the skin on their penis removed that's a circumcision but I'm guessing like as you get older skin just gets saggier but we don't talk about it for men but it gets so much air time for women and I think you know it's interesting because I know we're talking about it now and then it's part of that sort of irony around the airtime perspective but it almost becomes like this expectation that we have to maintain and hold on to our youth for as long as humanly possible and I hate that that's permeated every part of our lives and every part of our body as women. I think the one thing that we're forgetting that has changed a lot in

the last 10 to 15 years is the hair-free nature of how we now like our downstairs to be. Think about a time before laser was as available as it is particularly in australia it's a lot cheaper in australia i know a lot more women statistically get laser hair removal of their brazilian area i got it yesterday in australia and i am too i don't think that this would have been as much of a conversation if we had hair there because it makes it a little bit more discreet like it actually makes it harder to see the different parts of your vulva if you have hair there so it's not surprising to me that as our increase in hair removal particularly here has gone up our kind of care about the aesthetics of what that looks like has also increased because you

can see it more. But if everything is purely cosmetic, I just wonder like, are we leaning too far into the insecurities? And do we lean too far into this idea of like, well, if it makes you feel better, you're allowed to do it. It's your body. Like, should we not have a bit more of a middle ground of like, it's okay to have some insecurities life. And it's actually probably really good to overcome them and build the mental resilience to go, okay, I know my nose doesn't look exactly the way I would like my nose to look, but I'm going to grow to be okay with it because that's a better headspace to be in than to have like a perfect nose, perfect vagina, perfect everything. But Laura, that's why I said like, I'm sort of on the fence about it because I always want

to be the person that says to somebody like a hundred percent of your body or choice, if you're worried about something and you want to change it, if it's going to make you feel better, do it. As long as people are asking themselves why, if it's your partner at home, that's been like, wow, that doesn't look the same since you've had kids. Like you need to fix that. Then you can show them where the door is that's what I think I think that's interesting because I mean we've also had this conversation about cosmetic injectables in your face and I like I am very happy to admit that I have had certain things done over the course of years and I think I live in the middle I live in the fact that I know it's going to make me feel better about myself because I have certain things

that I either don't like for example I didn't like that my lips weren't symmetrical my top lip was a lot smaller than my bottom lip so I liked to get that you know corrected and I'm putting that in quotation marks, but you can't say that these things live completely internally. Like I know that the reason that I want that to be symmetrical is because the beauty standards that I've grown up with tell me that symmetrical lips are better. Like I don't think that it can ever be a hundred percent for yourself because we're so influenced by everything around us and what we are supposed to look like and what is perfection and what is beauty. So even with cosmetic injectables in my face, I kind of live in this gray zone and I know it sounds a little bit like, oh, you shouldn't be

doing it for anyone else. But the reality is, is that I don't think that you can ever completely separate that. Totally. I did go further down a rabbit hole here and I want to add another layer to the conversation that I just found interesting and I didn't know this existed. So from what I can tell, surface level, labia puffing doesn't change anything for you sexually. It's just aesthetic. but I saw these other things that you can get. And I think this is important to talk about a little bit because there are plenty of women out there that their nerve endings change. They don't get the same sexual pleasure. A lot of women can't orgasm. They just don't feel a lot down there for whatever reason. There are these things you can get. There's like one's called an O-shot and one's

called a G-shot. And the O-shot, my understanding is, you know, a vampire facial where they take your own blood and they put it back, they mix it and put it back into your face. It sounds like that for the vaginal area. So they take your own blood and they put it back into the area and it's supposed to increase circulation, help with pleasure and things like that. So I found that really interesting that that is available for people that might be struggling. Now I haven't done a deep dive into it. It's just, it just came up in my search. Same kind of a thing for the G spot. They can put an injection in the G spot. Now I don't know if more men get that or more women, but they can put an injection in the G-spot that also enlarges the G-spot and assists with sexual

pleasure. I mean, I understand why people would want to seek out that, especially if they're not getting pleasure. The only other thing about this though, this whole like idea of labia puffing is the instant feelings of insecurities that it creates, right? So like, I mean, what we did as soon as we started talking about it, we went online, we had a look like what are the before and afters of labia puffing? Like we went and we researched it, right? So we could talk about it and talk about the ridiculousness of it and like what it is as a thing the before and afters create insecurities in people because yes you see like an after and that labia looks objectively younger it looks objectively fuller and so you look at it and then you instantly go well if mine looks like

that and i did this well i'll look 10 years younger like it reinforces the insecurities that people have and i just think it is another thing that's created for women to feel bad about It's another thing that exists for us to go, oh, I guess I could fix that thing. Like, and that is just happening on repeat and repeat. Like, you know, in five years time, there will be another surgery or another thing that's available that could make whatever body part better, you know, and I say better, I obviously don't mean better, but I mean younger and in comparison to beauty standards. And it's those before and afters that exist that really reinforce that insecurity, I think.

This is probably a really basic, obvious, like the Einstein point, but I really think that a lot of this comes like you said laura from our exposure particularly with porn you guys did a conversation with ellie from comfortable in my skin and she has the flip through my flaps you know and the whole philosophy around that is to show you this is what all of these peoples look like it's it's a better representation of what normal looks like because there is no normal yeah that's okay but i think that if you are only getting exposure from things like you know even swimsuit modeling in Australia has to have the labia photoshopped we've spoken about that before if you're only getting exposure to what labia look like through porn you just have a really

unrealistic expectation and I know a lot of people will be like yeah obviously but I would argue it's not just porn because there's a lot of people out there who have insecurities about their labias and they don't watch porn it's not just that it is the way in which like mainstream media presents women in underwear women in bikinis and I'm talking from a commercial selling point like if you look at a bonds ad or you look at a seafoley campaign have you seen barbie or you look do you know me like it doesn't matter where you see it that idea of having to photoshop labia so that there's not any sort of bulge there is what makes women who have that or who have extended labias think that's not normal that's not the case and unfortunately there's just a lot of photoshopping that goes on

or there's a lot of really young girls like you know the amount of really young 20 year olds who I see with prosthetic bumps on who are modeling for like pregnant women in pregnant women campaigns. They're not pregnant women. They're 20 year olds wearing a prosthetic bump. So they've got tiny arms, tiny legs. And yeah, it's a really standard thing. There's a lot of maternity brands who aren't actually using pregnant women. They're using models that are wearing prosthetic bumps because the clothes look better on them because they're not pregnant women. I just got goosebumps. That's so fucked. I can't believe I've never thought about the fact that that would be the case i literally had a model recently at a tony may campaign and she

was like oh yeah the last thing i just did was a maternity shootout to wear a pregnancy bump all day so this is a dream anyway that's the fucking world we live in everyone you don't need to puff your pussy it's fine free the pussy okay it is time for accidentally unfiltered about six years ago me and my now husband went on our first family holiday with my parents i'm not sure why we did this but we got it into our heads to take raunchy photos on our phones when my parents weren't looking why so i'm talking a penis out on our mountain after my parents had walked away it was like a thing i was like where the parents walked away they would quickly get their boobs out get their whatever got you she's so mature yeah she goes so stupid like why anyway you get the juice

like the thrill of getting caught with your dick out by your dad like what is all your dad-in-law which is even weirder anyway every night my dad and i who are both keen photographers are you a keen photographer if you're just photographing dicks on mountains i don't know so every night we like to do a slideshow of photos that we're taking throughout the day for the family i had put the nude photos in a hidden album on my phone so i thought they wouldn't be included in the slideshow boy was i wrong so there in the middle of the caravan park on my parents plasma tv in all its glory for my parents in the world to see were photos of my husband with his dick on a mountain when my parents were walking away. Do you know what she

did? I have fallen victim to this. I think a lot of people think that when you move photos to an album, it might depend on the update. When you think you move photos to a different album or a hidden album, they think that it actually is removed and put somewhere else. But sometimes it just copies it over and it stays in the album. So I reckon that's what she's done. She's like, oh, I'm safe. Wouldn't you be mortified if my mum saw my husband's penis? Yeah. Behind her back on a mountain? It's the setting that does it for me. It's not just like she accidentally saw me in the shower and was like, oh my gosh. It's like behind your back. Okay. I have one for you. Me and my ex had a French bulldog together. This dog changed my life. It made my heart grow. Oh, wow. I loved

him so much. They had a little puppy together, but when we broke up, my ex-boyfriend kept the dog and i just had to let it go that's so sad it's so hard when you share an animal with someone and then they take it and the co-parenting of an animal well the co-parenting of an animal is like very tricky because it's a family member yeah so she just like she loved this dog and then the guy broke up with her and he kept the dog terrible what a fuck you it completely crushed me obviously anyway a couple of weeks after we broke up i was on a walk and i spotted a girl walking my French bulldog. It looked exactly like him. So I was like, who the fuck is this girl walking my dog? Anyway, I went up to her and I was really polite. I was like, oh my God,

your dog's so cute. And I looked down and there he was so excited to see me, so excited that he was shaking. So I slant down and I started patting him. I bent over and I was giving him the biggest cuddle and I just burst out into tears crying. I was sobbing and the tears kept coming. Turns out It absolutely was not my dog. Well, you couldn't have loved him that much. You didn't even recognise him. They looked identical, but on closer inspection, some of the markings were quite different.

So this poor random girl was just watching me on my knees holding her dog crying. I apologised and I walked off sobbing. Then halfway down the street I did start laughing because, well, I would have looked completely insane to her. Oh, that's, I mean, that's not the worst thing, but I probably would have explained it. If some random woman came up, held Buster and started crying in the street. Yeah, that's why.

In the street. That's why I said she should have explained it. I'm sorry I had, I lost one of these recently. Like, you don't just cry on a dog. You can't just throw your tears around to any dog at the dog park. Just using their beautiful coat as a tissue. Make me feel better, FIFO. That does suck.

But also, did you love him that much? You didn't recognize him. Yeah, but maybe it looked the same, just had like a little different foot paw marking or something. And also maybe it had been weeks and she'd been through so much trauma from the breakup. It was a trauma. It was a trauma.

You know when you go through a breakup and then you keep thinking you see your ex everywhere? You'll see someone with a similar haircut and you'll be like, oh my God, there's my ex. And then you're like, oh, that's not him. There's my, oh, that's not him. And then every so often you're like, oh my God, there's my ex. And it actually is him.

And you're like, fuck, what do I do now? Parkour. Run. Parkour. You're fucked. Guys, you might remember this. Actually, maybe not. no one wanted just give me a quick some this was the very first season of life uncut when we very

first started this podcast when brit and i were just becoming friends we didn't yet know who i was inside we were going for a walk along the bondi promenade and i had told brit like all of the stories about my awful ex the one who cheated on me and everything else like she knew everything and so we're walking along the promenade and i grabbed her and i was like oh my god there's i mean we won't say his name for legal reasons legal reasons also laura i broke into my ex's house stole his passport forged a document bought a ticket overseas but we won't say his name we won't say his name we'll call him mr x i was like oh my god brit there's mr x and we were so on the bondi promenade we were so on the bondi promenade that we couldn't escape so we

were having we had to walk past each other right and i was like fuck don't look at him don't make eye contact so I'm looking at the ground and Brittany my friend screams parkour and goes and jumps right in front of him off the side of the fence and then runs back over laughing like who who does that in my defense you don't have one there's no defense I've never ever recovered it was five years ago and I still haven't recovered my defense is I thought parkour would distract him away from you. I thought I will put my body on the line and embarrass myself. He watched you run back over to me.

And I was trying to make out that I hadn't seen him and I didn't care. That was my mistake. Sorry, my mistake was returning to you like a homing pigeon. I should have parkoured and continued on. But I did come back and I circled back. And I will admit that I let us down in that moment. You ran straight in front of him, screamed, parkour,

and jumped off a fence and then ran directly back to me. I was in my parkour era. That was when I was parkouring. You're fucked. Well, I'm not going to apologize because I tried to do the right thing. It didn't pan out. But nothing, Mr. X didn't do anything. No, he wouldn't have.

He continued on. Do you know what he would have thought? He held up a sign, 10 points. He would have thought my ex-girlfriend's a fucking loser. She hangs out with a chick who parkours. And so are her friends. She hangs out with a loser who parkours. Parkour is cool.

For a 10-year-old boy. No. There are plenty of adults that parkour. Also, don't be sexist, Laura. A 10-year-old girl can do it too. And so can a 28-year-old woman. How old was I? 32?

Yeah, 31. 32. I was on the batch at 30. Who's having a laugh now? Anyway, guys, it's time for Suck and Sweep, which, I mean, after all that, it was a real segue. I'm going to go first and I'm going to make it snappy. My suck for the week is that we started to put the tiles down

for the foyer at the Ulladulla house and it doesn't look good and I think I made a bad decision. It doesn't look good. It doesn't. Who was this, you or Matt, that won the argument for the floor? I've had full choice over everything and the foyer will look good but it doesn't look good adjacent to the bathroom tiles. There's a lot of fucking mixed stuff going on there.

But that was what you wanted the house to be, wasn't it? A bit like cray-cray. Yeah, yeah. I think we leant too far into the cray. Anyway, I'm having regrets. Well, you can't do anything about it. It's too much money. Yeah, regret.

That's okay. Lean in. Ragrats. So that is my suck. And my sweet for the week is that we went kayaking on the weekend and nobody died. And Matt has not returned. Nobody died.

Did you get a false passport? Yeah, we took the kids kayaking. We got to hang out with some chickens and chickens are rad. Makes me want to get chickens for my house. Are these separate events? Yeah. I think you're going to listen back and wish you said that differently. We didn't take the chickens kayaking.

we went down to my sister-in-law they've got a place down in milton down the south coast and on the property there's a big creek that runs through the back of the house and we got kayaks and went kayaking down the creek and then separate to that they also have chickens and so the kids played with the chickens that was wild there was a kayaking chicken was a real highlight of my weekend i would like to just remind you what she said chickens are rad that's what she's like you park or you don't get a say in what's cool chickens are fucking rad though yeah that's why I wanted to be a trad wife like three weeks ago because I went and hung out with a chicken I was like this is me

do you know what if you do become a trad wife like if things really spiral out of control and we stop podcasting one day and we just decide to like live on a farm I will come and live on the compound with you we can be like sister wives without chickens it's getting very culty well you're not coming then Keisha my sock is I mean this is a sweet and a sock but I got some beautiful art sent to me this week it turns out like I wanted some art for my wall I wanted to replace a shrine that's another conversation it is very nice the artwork's beautiful yeah her name is little gaga on instagram jada stewart but turns out when I was speaking to her about the art that I wanted she's like oh look I'm a lifer as well like I've listened for so long and I loved that

so much like i loved it because her art is incredible plus but i got it sent to me it's humungo right got the measurements wrong also another story but i tried to hang it up i was like in this era on the weekend where i was like i am an independent woman and i can do everything like i built this furniture outside and i was doing all this stuff but i just didn't realize my whole wall is cement it's it's just cement so i thought i could just drill into some um what are they called studs studs i could you know how you knock like i used to see my dad knock and on the wall and you find a stud and you drill into it. So it's all cement.

You did this yourself? No, that's what I'm saying. I didn't do it. Got you. Got you. The story is just like I have this huge cement wall so that's my suck of the week that I had these big plans to get my art up.

I've got a cement wall so now I've got to get a builder in to do it anyway. Is that because it doesn't fit on the wall that you originally thought it would go on? We'll talk about it later next week. Okay. The suck is just that Brittany doesn't own a tape measure and she was like, I think that'll fit.

Yeah, it was a whole thing. But it's beautiful. I'm going to put it up today. I've got a builder coming today. My sweet of the week is, and I want to show you, this is the most random sweet, but I guess this is what happens when you're an auntie, a new auntie, and your sister has a baby. I'm flying over to see Ben soon, obviously,

as you guys know, for Christmas, and we were really trying to get my sister, Jay, and her new daughter, Maya, to come to Romania so we could all meet. But Maya's passport didn't know if she was going to come back in time because I forget that even as a newborn baby you need a passport. Anyway, my sweet is just the fact that it did come back, but I also need to show you the picture. She's literally.

Look at her passport photo. Can you deal? She's like a little like, what are they called? What are those tiny little potatoes? What are the long potatoes? Sweet potato? No, the tiny little ones. Spud potato?

No. What? Keep going. Low carbs? 25% less carbs? Do you remember when we used to do ads for Spud Life? That was the beginning of the podcast. I do love potatoes.

To be fair, yeah, Spud Life potatoes were great. We'd do them again, Spud Life. Come for us. So how long does a baby passport last? Actually, thank you for reminding me. It lasts for five years because Marley's has just expired and I need to get a new one. If you've got, like, I'm sorry, when Maya's five years old,

how is anybody going to look and see what child that is? Yeah, look, I don't have any answers for that, but they do last for five years. That's insane. Speaking of the cosmetic stuff that we got done, I was actually curious about how much cosmetic work you'd have to have done to not be recognised through Australian customs. Turns out mine's still fine.

But I did wonder, like, I got my passport photo taken in 2016 because I got the 10-year one, and I went through what most recently for our birthday in August, and I was curious about whether it would still register. You haven't had a face transplant, Keisha. You just put your lips on. I've had some changes. All right, well, guys, that is it from us.

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