Life Uncut - From labias to letter drops

Episode Date: November 27, 2023

Hey lifers!Laura's got a fungi and Britt's firm nips are out and about today! Laura's had a moment of brutal honesty from her 4 year old Marlie Mae. Kids just say the darndest things don't they? Laura is contemplating a labiaplasty. We chat about the ins and outs of the pros and cons. We spoke about an episode we did with the wonderful Ellie from Comfortable in My Skin. You can listen here - Your Vulva is Cliterally the Best Plus we unpack the rogue guerrilla marketing ploy that happened on the streets of Bondi on Sunday! When small businesses need to get really creative to have cut through marketing, is it a good idea to connect your brand with the story of a cheating scandal? Does it even matter if there are a lot more eyes on your business? If you have a question please send it on it to life uncut podcast on Instagram hereJoin us on tiktok Or join the facebook group here Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country. We pay our respects to their elders past and present. Always was, always will be Aboriginal land. This episode was recorded on Darug Walamutta land. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. Happy Tuesday. Yeah, why don't you tell everyone what you just said into the microphone? it's pretty crude and I said that to you in a trusting environment off mic is anything trusting

is anything like do we have a safe environment I feel like everything we do it's all for content it all just makes its way onto the podcast eventually do you know one thing I have realized is what usually like with your best friends because I don't see anyone more than you two like you know you are my inner circle yes this is true and when I say you two I forget that people can't see producer Keisha sitting here I don't see anyone more than producer Keisha and Laura right and I think you classify those people in your inner circle as your best friends and as your best friends you classify those people as people you trust with information and that you like to go to yeah I trust you it is a pretty precarious position to be in when you don't know

what is ever going to be used against you with your best friends you should know by now after four and a half years that that is everything okay I don't think it's what I said that was confronting I think it's the two things I said together I said so I killed a bird I was like man, I'm horny. I could suck a dick. That all needs context now, because you know what? There was a big conversation that unfolded around that because I was like, was it an eagle or was it a sparrow? Because people are going to feel differently about that. No. Okay. Look, I said, guys, it was very, I had a very traumatic weekend. Traumatic? Yes. It was traumatic. Traumatic. It was traumatic. Traumatic. Traumatic. Traumatic. What am I saying?

Traumatic. Trauma. Sorry. It was tremomatic. Okay. I went up to Port Macquarie to see my family. Five-hour drive, beautiful, lovely, love that for me. And it's just highway.

It's the most boring drive. Like it's five hours basically straight. You get out of Sydney and it's straight. You don't make a turn until you get there. Anyway, you know how sometimes the birds fly to eat food off the road, like roadkill and stuff, and they always jump out. They feel the vibrations. They hear the car coming.

they always jump out of the way well this one bird he didn't have good reflex skills and he wasn't very agile and he flew down and I was banging it like 110 and he didn't move and then I just went and he went straight into the grill of my car and it was you know when you're driving and you're on you know when you want it because it's unsafe to swerve you never swerve like that's the number one rule on the road is because you'd end up having an accident so you just unfortunately Especially when you're going that speed. I just really, really, really want to clarify because I know some people will be listening to this being like, you can't laugh about this.

I'm not. It was horrifying. I'm still reeling from it. Yes. I am not laughing. I am not laughing about a bird dying because if I was in that situation, I would be traumatized. I would be crying. It'd be traumatic.

No, I'm more laughing at the way in which you're telling the story. I just, can you just tell me, it needs to be a bird that's not a majestic animal. Needs to be like. Does it matter? No, it was still an animal. It needs to be like a minor bird or something, one that's a pest. It needs to be one that like we can't, you know, it can't be a lorikeet. Laura, all animals are created equal.

You say that as you eat your bacon sandwich. I don't like bacon. Actually, it was a beautiful bird. It was a magpie. I care. Magpies are beautiful birds. Do you know how intelligent magpies are? They are so highly intelligent.

They're also natives. They do take out, yeah, they will swoop you. But anyway, okay. But do you know what, actually, while we're naturally transitioning, you know I love animals. I love animal facts. Do you know what you're supposed to do if a magpie comes for you, sweeps for you?

You don't hit it with your car at 110 kilometres an hour. You're not supposed to run. I don't know if you know that. You never turn your back on a magpie. That's when they keep sweeping. Apparently. No, they won't come for your eyes if you're looking at them. What?

You don't run from a magpie because when you turn your back on it, But that's when it keeps coming for you. So you shouldn't turn around and run. Do you know this makes sense? Because that's why they always chase cyclists. They chase cyclists down. And I mean, it looks funny, but it's not funny for the cyclist. No, you're supposed to turn around and stare that in the eye.

Stare at me. It won't come for your face. It will not. Okay. Don't quote me on this in case anything happens. We don't have enough insurance. But like, that's what I have read that you're not supposed to turn your back on it. Like a bear as well.

Please stop taking advice from Brittany. Okay. I have some updates of my own. before we get into stuff that's really important. You know this thing on my arm? This thing that I've had for ages now. So no one else can see. It's like a slightly browner patch on Laura's arm that she's had for a little while. It's been here for ages. Like it's literally been here for years. It goes. It's just a pigment thing. Yeah. Whenever I get darker, this patch on my arm gets darker. Yeah. And being that it's summertime, like it's been pretty dark at the moment, but this is

like being here for years. The last couple of months, I would say it's gotten bigger. And so So recently I went to the doctor and the doctor like told me he gave me something to try on. It didn't work. It didn't work. So now I've gone back there after the three weeks and I've gone back with the thing on my arm and I'm like, hey, the thing you gave me didn't work. What do we think this is? Because it's not working.

Oh, you want to know what I have on my arm? Fungus. It's a fungal infection. Oh yeah, I could have told you that. It's a fungus. Why didn't you? It's like how you never tell me I've got something on my face. I've got like a fucking shiitake mushroom growing out of my arm and no one told me.

It's a common fungus. It's nothing to be scared about. you haven't got some disease from the amazon jungle it's a common skin fungi thank you it's dermatologist britney also you can't catch it just so you know so like i don't want anyone here worried that i'm like rubbing myself up on chairs or whatever but like there's nothing more humbling than walking into a doctor's office thinking you have a pigmentation problem and being told you've got a fungus but it is a pigmentation problem caused by a fungus so the reason i know is i also had a fungus one time but i have the opposite fungus so have you seen

the white patches. No, no, that's what this is, but it reacts differently for people. So you get a tanned fungus. Mine's like an albino fungus. So it's called tinea versicola. It's basically like having athletes foot on your arm. That's what I have right now. And I just want to say, if you're out there dealing with a fungus, me too. And you know what? I remember that episode of Seinfeld where this is a rogue tangent. Seinfeld went into the medicine cabinet of a girl that he was dating and she had a fungal cream in there and he was like, ew. And he broke up with her because she had a fungal cream and it ended up being the dog's fungal cream. And it wasn't even hers anyway. Guess what? Laura Byrne has a fungus on her arm. Fuck you,

Jerry Seinfeld. Did they tell you what to do? Because I can tell you what works to cure that. Yeah. Apparently because it's been there for so long. It's a much more in-depth treatment. Don't fucking come at me with your dandruff shampoo. Yeah. That's what I have used. I've had that fungus multiple times. Mine comes from the sun. Every time you get too much time in the sun, it can really bring the fungal memories up from the skin glands. wow but anti-dandruff anyone because this is what you have so to make yourself feel better laura lots of people have that fungus and there are people going to be listening right now being like that's what i have tinea versicola so basically if you don't know what it is it's this like patch on your

upper body on your arms or on your torso where the skin changes color so you might get like a patch of white or you get a patch of brown that's what it is but mine has just like taken over my arm on my back now so you get the anti-dandruff shampoo this is doctor prescribed this is not something from TikTok. You get the, it's just anti-dandruff shampoo and you rub it onto your arms, leave it on there for 10, 20, 30 minutes. I used to leave it on for a couple of hours and then just wash it off. That is the treatment. And most of the time after a while, you have to be consistent, but your fungus will disappear. My fungus hasn't been here for years. Can't wait to keep you updated. It's really nice. I love these Tuesday episodes,

how we get to catch you up on all the important things that are happening in our lives. And you know, for me right now, it's fungus. Actually, do you know what else happened in my life over the weekend. Please don't tell me it's some other kind of rash. What else happened? What other fungi rash do you have? I have, I have jock itch. So if I didn't feel humbled enough over the weekend by finding out that I have a fungus all over my body, Marley really, I mean, kids are so good at just like bringing you back down to earth. Like if you ever felt good about yourself, have a kid, speak to your four-year-old and ask them to critique anything about you. Well not critique it, just say, look at me. What do you see?

Yeah. What do you see? Just talk to me about what you see on me, on my body. Recently, if you were listening to our Tuesday episode from a couple of weeks ago, Keisha and I were talking about cosmetic injections, cosmetic surgeries. And I was saying that I have not had anything now. Like I'm going into my 11th month of this year without having any Botox, anything done to my face out of pure laziness. Can I just add one thing? Yeah. That is really weird to me because your skin looks better than ever. I can honestly say that. That's so nice.

I needed that bit of confidence boost. Whoa, Keisha's very excitedly trying to get on the mic. How can you possibly say your skin looks better than ever? It's growing a fungus. Yeah, from the chin up. I know you've been asking about my skincare routine, so I just wanted to go through it with you. Use this.

It is for jockage. Okay, let me rephrase that. Let me rephrase that. It's funny you feel like that, Laura, because from the neck up, your skin looks amazing. Okay, so what happened was I was laying in bed with Marley and we were having this cute little cuddle. And like every so often kids, you're laying in bed with them and they like hold your face

and you have these really beautiful moments where you're like, you know, like it's just this kind of intimacy that it's quite hard to describe because it's like this, it's almost like a romantic intimacy without any romance. Like they'll hold your face and they'll look in your eyes and like you have these beautiful little moments of like soul connection with a human. Like you love more than anything. And I feel similarly with Delilah. You would understand that exact feeling.

And so like this deep moment of connection with Marley where she was like stroking my face and she was like looking into my eyes. And I was like, I was having a moment. She clearly wasn't. And she said to me, mommy, I said, yes, yes, sweetie. And she goes, your skin is really ugly. And I said, thank you, darling. Why do you say that? And she said, you just have so many red bits on it. Like there is red and there is red and there is red. This is in the morning with no makeup on laying in bed. And I was like, okay, that sweetheart, you know, sometimes when you see things about people, you don't have to tell them because it hurts their feelings. So when you tell me that you notice that my skin is red, that that hurts my feelings. Mommy has an uneven skin

tone. And I said, you don't have to tell people the things that you see about them that you don't like? And she said, yeah, but even if I don't tell you, it's still the truth. Yeah. Got it, bitch. That's so brutal. It was so brutal. This was also for me, this was the reminder. And it really took me back to those moments in my relationships, like my ex relationships where you're laying in bed next to someone and you're thinking, oh my God, we're so connected. Like I love him. He's going to say, I love you and you think you know what they're thinking, you fucking don't know what they're thinking. They're looking at your face thinking you've got red splotches.

That's what they're doing. No, they are not. Sometimes. Sometimes. Yeah, they're assholes. If they're not saying I love you back in that moment and you think you're having a soul connection, trust me, that is not what is happening.

Okay, that's too close to home for some people in the room. Keisha, have we told Toblerone that we love him yet? No. it is getting it's getting more interesting as the days go on i don't think you can ever say it now i think you've gone too far like you can't ever say it now i feel similarly do you know what's the worst moments actually and this has stuck out to me it's when i've had delilah like i borrowed her the other weekend i love that i say i borrowed her i took her for two days you took her and didn't return her yeah yeah so she jumps into bed and she loves a cuddle

I'll be like cuddling her and she'll be next to him and I'll be like I love you I love you you are such a pretty girl and tell Delilah 17 times how much I love her and then it's just maybe that's when you need to silence maybe you need to look up then and lock eyes and have a moment and then will him to say it make that silence so awkward that he has to say it I just want to like for anyone who doesn't know what's happening right now because they might be confused maybe you're new to the podcast and you don't know the backstory, producer Keisha, she has been dating Toblerone for probably seven months now, maybe eight months. Very seriously. Seriously. They're moving in together. The guy's like, there's shit happening. The relationship is progressing in a

way that one would think the I love you's are coming. Well, you'd think the I love you's would have happened for these conversations to have happened. And we've spoken about this a couple of times. So I'm enjoying the constant updates because one day we're going to talk about this and you're going to say, I said it or not. Maybe this will just be the constant update forever. My only question is, does Tom Lurie never listen to this? No, no, he never listens to the podcast. Okay, we won't be offended. We love having a supportive partner.

No, it's more so the opposite. I'm like, I don't want you to be turned off. I don't want you to hear things that you're like, that's not attractive to me, which I feel like would happen if any of our partners listen to this podcast. Do you know what? It's fair because Matt doesn't listen either, which is why I get away with telling so many of the things that happen in our relationship because I'll give him the brief overview. I'll say like, oh, honey, I talked about this on the podcast, but I tell like versions of

and he goes, oh, okay, that's fine. Because I think that so long as I've told him that I'm telling the story but I tell a top-line version of it, if he actually heard it, he'd probably be like, a bit much information, Laura, a bit too much. Oh, no, Ben listens to every episode, every single – and the radio show, he listens to everything. See, I feel differently about Matt because I think for him that gives him a permission slip to talk about whatever he wants

to talk about on his podcast. Yeah, I don't listen to that either. That's my point. I should too. So if you're like, hey, honey, I kind of talked a little bit about this, like maybe it might be a bit too much and he's like, nah, That's all good because he's storing it as like a get out of jail free card if he needs to use it.

So I'm glad that Toblerone doesn't listen to the podcast, but it is getting more weird by the day that we haven't told each other that. I've never thought of myself as a stubborn person before this particular situation. I feel like now I'm just not saying it out of stubbornness that I'm like, no, you have to do it first. Which I think is silly. I think love shouldn't fall into the stubborn category. I think that the woman can say they love them first just like I think

the woman can ask their partner out, man or woman. I think it's fine for a woman to take charge. And if you know you love him, Keisha. Well, no, I just don't see the point in like if you want to like we get such, I'm getting so deep, we get such limited time on this earth and love. But it's true. Love is such a when you are in love it is there is no feeling like it and like you just the second you say it and you express things differently

because once it's almost like a doorway is opened up and I can guarantee the little things will change once you start to say you love each other. And I think why waste that time? Well, I think now we've waited so long. We went on an international holiday two months into being together. Like it's not like we slowed down on other things. Now I feel like there's been such a buildup that it kind of has to be a moment.

Like I don't know if it can just be sitting on the couch patting the dog, you know? Well, you're not getting married. You're just saying I love you. But also I do think you're going to be laying in bed one day and you're going to be like, I love you. And he's going to be like, your face is red. Also get that fungus. Have you got a fungus on your arm?

Is that a shiitake mushroom or are you just happy to see me? I'm buying you some anti-dandruff this afternoon. Okay, as my final update on my egg freezing saga journey, I shouldn't call it a saga, but I feel like that's what it's been. It was a week ago and because it takes you longer to get over the hormone injections because I had double, right? So some people, a few days you feel better. Some it lasts for two weeks.

My nurse called me. She's like, look, it's likely it's going to last for two weeks plus because you've just got so much that you need to get rid of. I can't tell you how horny I am and how hard my nipples are constantly. I could cut glass with these nipples. Like today I had to push them in. You could just wear a bra like everyone else. No, because you can't wear a bra with this top.

It's a strapless bra. Pick a different top. You have a hundred. No, why would I do that? what's wrong with showing nipples that is being a nippleist to be fair kim kardashian brought out that exactly and my boobs are great like i don't need a bra in this top they're like tight you were the one who said that your nipples were that hard that you insinuated it was a problem no i'm not just telling you it's not a problem but i could cut glass with them i like that you're like my

nipples are so hard there is no problem here i just wanted to tell you totally there's no guys there's no problem this is not an issue for me i have very erect nipples and i like it and that is the end of the story but they are so sensitive as well that was where i was going that's all that's my update people want to know the physiological side of what happens with the egg freezing hormone injections that was the number one thing you guys wanted to know so that is the very last hopefully the nipples die down tomorrow and hopefully next week it starts so my body starts to regulate and i'm not a raging horndog that's it that's the update is pretty horny that was great because my because the bloating's gone down right so like everything is settled now

because it was touch and go there for a while. It was like I'd swallowed a volleyball. But the only lasting effects I have now is the nipples and the horniness. I feel like the horniness helps the fertility though. I mean it seems like an important factor. Yes. Well, it makes you – oh, I don't know. Anyway, well, let's not get into the science.

Some people do say that you get more horny around your ovulation time. Yeah. I've never personally experienced – like I haven't tracked it, so I don't know. But apparently you can get more horny around that. Like your body just knows that you're fertile. Laura, you seem like the real fertile one of the group. And we all know how horny I am all the time.

Laura doesn't need to get horny. Guys, I was having a conversation on the weekend. This is a bit rogue. I've got something else I want to talk to you about, but this is like, let's just throw it in because this could be a bit of a story arc if it happens. Hear me out. This will be the first time, this will be the first time that I've talked about this and I don't know how I feel about it.

Also, I think that there's going to be some, I mean, there'll be some people who'll be like, it's your body, do what you want. But I think after the conversations we've had on the podcast before that it might come with some friction can i guess i am considering breast lift no damn it foot reconstruction i like that i'm like i'm not getting botox anymore but i'm considering like a major plastic surgery nose job no i'm considering getting a labiaplasty oh everyone's just gone silent well you know you didn't need to update that if you didn't want to i know i know but i'm i had a conversation mad about it and i had a conversation with a girlfriend about it haven't

had a conversation with a doctor. I've spoken to people who are completely unqualified. Things are just not the same after Lola and not in a way where I'm like, oh, aesthetically, that's not how I want it to be. But more in it's uncomfortable for me now. I've had a friend who's had one. She found that whenever she would wear tight things like exercise tights or even a G-string, the friction and the rubbing of the lips, it was quite painful for her. For me, and this is too much information, but when I had Lola, so I have really bad circulation and I got varicose veins in the backs of my legs when I had Lola. I also got varicose veins somewhere else when I was pregnant, which happens. What does that mean? In my labia, I had a varicose vein. I didn't even

know that was it. I genuinely did not know that was a thing. Yeah, it is a thing. And so I know that there'll be some pregnant women who are like, I've had that too. And there'll be other who are like, you fucking poor bitch. But trust me, it sucked. And so for me, it's like, I still have a vein on one side and that's what I want to go and get sorted. Because that's why if you have varicose veins, you will know like it's itchy. It's uncomfortable. The circulation is not good. and so that's affecting me and that's why i want to go and start this process hands down your pants all the time always scratching myself that and the thrush but no and the fungus but i've looked into it and the only thing that's like my limiting reason for not doing it right now

actually there's two one is that it's like a six-week recovery like you can't you can't have sex you can't do anything for six weeks which i know that's a great excuse i know but it's also a big consideration for your relationship as well like i and i don't mean that i am not going to do things to my body because it will upset Matt by any means. But at the same time, I'm like, that's a big amount of time for a consideration when you're in a relationship. I think six weeks is, people go six weeks all the time without sex. And I think to make yourself more, I mean, look at what I, look at my relationship. I go months without seeing Ben. If it's literal discomfort for you and it's going to completely change your life. Absolutely.

Well, and the other part of this is, I think that my reservations around one talking about it and two going and actually doing anything about it is because as you guys know, we had an interview, we did it ages ago with Ellie, who is from comfortable in my skin. And we had big conversations around like being accepting of all of your body, being accepting of your labia, that it's not abnormal to have an Audi, like all of the very many different ways in which people's labias and vulvas look and how we should be able to be okay and accepting of that. And I just want to like preface it that this is not at all from me being like, this is an aesthetic thing. Cause I don't have an issue. I go, I'm great down there. Matt is not complaining. Everything is fantastic,

but I'm uncomfortable. So I think for me, I'm now looking at what that looks like. And I would hate for someone to judge me for that. Can I just say that a really common concern about getting labiaplasty is that obviously they're cutting parts where you get a lot of pleasure and a lot of sensation. And for my particular friend, she had a significant reduction in the pleasure that she gets from sex. So not trying to sway you in any way, obviously I'm not a doctor. You will have these conversations with your doctor, but I think that's an important seesaw to balance when you're like, I might be more comfortable, but also I might enjoy sex less, which is obviously going to affect your life a lot. But I think it also depends on how, like, I mean, it depends on

what your end result is. Like, are you wanting to have no labia? Like, are you doing it because you want to look like a Barbie doll or are you doing it just because you want things to be back to the way that you were pre-pregnancy? For me, I don't want it all gone. I just want to be at the place that I was pre-pregnancy where it didn't bother me at all. I want to like, you know, wear swimwear and not feel like I'm packing sometimes. Do you know what I mean? I mean that. I just want to feel like I am not conscious of it,

whereas like I am now conscious of it and I wasn't five years ago. Even though I've never been Barbie doll vagina by any means, I just want to be at a place where I don't ever have to think about it and that's how I feel. I had a really humbling moment about this over the weekend. I went to Reforma Pilates and this particular studio has glass, sorry, has mirrors on the ceiling. I was wearing these burnt orange shorts

and I was like I have got a literal camel toe because it literally looks burnt orange and it was really you know when your legs are in the straps and you're looking up and you're like oh that's I look like a giant camel I need to adjust but I think the only other thing Laura that you'd need to consider and I'm sure you're going to do that we're just nutting it out but I think the only thing you're going to consider is like make sure you're completely done with kids because obviously it's something that could reoccur with another pregnancy and all these things that you're going to think about and talk about with your doctor I'm sure but I'm i am here to hold your hand i will hold your labia through this process i will party we'll

have a lip party we all come dressed with lipstick i thought you're about to say we're going to come dressed as giant labia i don't know how i would do that but we could have a going away for your life you might get a sponsor sponsored labia now a sponsored labia swipe up swipe up more of your skin off this is this has been a real sharing episode from fungus to labias guys wow how serious do you feel about it like do you think you're gonna have a consult yeah i'm feeling very serious about it i floated the idea with matt i haven't had a deep conversation with him about it but i don't like the fact that i'm conscious of it and i don't mean self-conscious i mean physically conscious of it i can you feel it about it i think about it i notice the

discomfort from time to time. And that is annoying me. And I also just want to preface, I feel like even though I'm saying all this, I need to then explain myself so that no one's going to be writing articles like Laura's got 10 centimeter long labias. If I did also, fuck you, nothing wrong with me. It's not that they're like outrageously long. It's not that they can like, you don't have to roll them up. Yeah. They're not flapping in the wind. It's none of that. It's just this, I just had this image of you going paragliding with your labia. like a literal sugar glider okay i just i know we're laughing we're laughing we're laughing but i do worry that people listen to this and people who are experiencing i don't want anyone to feel

like that there's something wrong with them because this is a consideration that i'm having the varicose vein situation is a true discomfort and if you have bad circulation you will know exactly what i'm talking about it is something that you're conscious of it is something that gets itchy i have them on my ankles and i get itchy on my ankles all the time but think about that on your vulva and having to scratch your vulva whilst you were like in the middle of your day is not great. You know, with varicose veins, you can have saline pushed through them to like unblock the block. Yeah. You can also have like a lasering and everything else done. But I mean, these are the many things to talk through with a healthcare professional and not my co my co-host.

Oh, we're not doing it for you? No, but I'll just plan the party. Okay. I love what you're saying, but I also don't think we need to reiterate that much. And I know you're, you're worried that people are going to want to come for you but we have always said on this podcast do what you want with your body but just make sure you look at all the pros and cons make sure it's you're doing it for the right reasons and make sure it's for safety like no one can come for you because you are uncomfortable and want to change something on your body like and if they do they're not our people also if i do go through this process i know we spent a long time talking about something that i'm not 100 on yet but if i do go through this process i will tell you i will tell you exactly

what it's like so if you're thinking about it or you're you know considering it or it's something that you're self-conscious about because I think that this is the type of thing that no one talks about because everyone's everyone's so shameful talking about it because they would hate for anyone to think that their vulva is less than perfect but guess what everyone is especially if you've vaginally birthed two children had two fucking episiotomies let me tell you shit is not where it used to be we probably just don't need like a vlog of this one you don't you don't want to up today we've just done step by step of Brit's fertility like fucking hell come on step-by-step in my vulva. No, I want before and afters. I want to transition. We can put them

on the socials. A transition. You know how you go up to the camera and hit tap the camera with your vulva and then you come back and it's gone. Trending music on TikTok. Yeah. Snip, snip. Okay. So yesterday, walking back from the beach, there was something that sparked Matt and Maya's attention. And I wanted to talk about it today with you right here, right now. So there was these A4 pieces of paper like flyers that had been stuck underneath the windscreen wipers of all the cars. I'm talking like every car in the car park, all the way up the main street, all the way into our street where we live. There was like these flyers stuck on every single car. And Matt said, oh, like go and can you go and get one of those? I want to see what that says. Because the

very first thing that you could see from like across the street was, hey, bitch. Now it looked like it had been handwritten, but obviously you could see that it was on every car. So it hadn't been handwritten because that's a lot of work this is what the letter said hey bitch hope you had fun with my boyfriend last night if you want your clothes back you're gonna have to hire them on insert business name here from sarah kiss kiss jake's girlfriend oh saucy but also well played if there's been some cheating going on well if there's been cheating i think that's like what a get back. What do you mean? This is a marketing employee. If it is not a marketing employee. Okay. Right. Because I also saw this going viral online. I didn't see it in, in RL

because I was away, but I have seen this letter going bonkers online. Well, when I saw it, I mean, I didn't think about it as content for the podcast, but then Keisha chucked it in our content group chat that we have. And it made me think, okay, maybe this is something that people are talking about. And then I realized that it actually hit some, like, it's kind of gone viral across social media. And if you haven't seen it, you might in the next couple of days. So basically what this letter is, it's a marketing, like guerrilla marketing and a flyer drop from this high address company, which they'd put all around Bondi Beach and all around sort of this high populated area. And when I read it, I had this visceral reaction to the actual content of

the letter. And I think it was because like the, Hey bitch, it just felt really gritty. And it felt really like a negative brand messaging that as a small business owner myself, I was like, that is ballsy, but I don't know whether it lands. And I say this because, yes, it lands in terms of getting people talking about it. Hello, hello, ding, ding, ding. We're here talking about it right now. But is it the type of brand association I would want for my small business in terms of one, associating yourself with cheating and two, calling people bitches?

Kind of feels yuck. It's funny. I'm embarrassed to say that, like, I read this and just thought someone had cheated. Didn't click on me that this was marketing at the start. Read it once and I was like, that's funny. I had this whole image in my head that a girl had walked in, sprung another chick with a boyfriend, taken her clothes, run out the door, put them, sold them, whatever. I had this whole image of how that went down.

And I was like, well, that's pretty funny if the girl knew what she was doing. Now that we have unpacked that it is a market employee, I think it's brilliant. I think it is brilliant. I have seen this everywhere. I have looked at the site. I know other people would have looked at the site. I think that this has gotten them so much business. They're not actually calling anyone a bitch because it's a fictional character.

like and it's made everyone want to go and look it has dropped a breadcrumb that is so intriguing to see is this real is there someone's clothes what is that site I think it's brilliant it's done like look at us talking about it totally and I do agree with you I do think that it absolutely has pushed traffic towards their website and I think as a small business these days you have to be very creative to get cut through especially because it costs so much money to advertise across social media it costs so much money to advertise anywhere in a normal sort of like out of home setting. So this is taking your business offline, taking your business off social media and getting out of home marketing, but for no cost, which is incredibly, incredibly

tactful of them. I think the thing that I didn't like about it and the reason why I was like, oh, it makes me feel icky is because of this association of cheating. And Keisha, you nailed it when we were unpacking. Keisha and I went way too deep on this, but we were unpacking it. And Keisha sort of said that as women who talk about cheating all the time. We talk about relationships all the time. We unpack the nuance of relationships. The fact that this letter goes after the female in that, and it's like, Hey bitch, you slept with my boyfriend instead of, and I know that I'm getting way too deep on a marketing letter. I get it. But it's kind of like the trope of 10 years ago. It's the way in which we would speak about women

10 years ago. And it feels very backwards, I think. So I'm kind of like, yes, it is a great marketing tactic, but I feel like it landed a little bit short in terms of the positioning of a brand and the messaging of a brand but yes okay I totally get that I totally get that it takes two to tango but the way I saw this was I did not think that at all I saw this as like okay there's two constants in this situation that's the boyfriend and the actual girlfriend and then there's one variable which is the person that came in and cheated she doesn't know that person that variable so this is her response to someone she doesn't know that's done the wrong thing right she's going to, I imagine, this fictional relationship. She's going to be dealing with

her boyfriend at home because she knows him. She lives with him. That's her safe space. I'm sure he has his consequences too. But I think that this, I don't want to normalize this response if you find out that your partner's cheating. I don't want to say that. But I looked at this, I can promise you, I looked at this and I thought, fucking lol, someone got sprung and now they have to go buy, you know, doing the dirty now. They've got to go buy their clothes back. I thought it was funny. I literally just thought it was funny. I was like, what an innocent way, because I think it is innocent. I think that there's a lot of people that get very vicious and malicious when it comes to cheating situations and affairs in what they do to people like public humiliation

and things like that. But I think if you've just like, I got your clothes because you left them there after you fucked my boyfriend, go buy them back. Totally. I agree. But I think the thing is, is in terms of cheating, and we know this because we've had many conversations about it on the podcast. Like we have spoken about cheating for the last four and a half years. It is the one topic that gets people the most fired up. Anytime Britt and I have ever had a conversation about cheating where we've said it's gray, relationships can improve after cheating. You know, it doesn't necessarily mean that it's the end of a relationship. There are many variables around cheating. We have always received negative feedback and negative reviews from people who

see cheating as black and white, even though we don't necessarily see cheating as black and white. So it is the most polarizing thing that I think you could kind of lean into as a brand and as a marketing tactic. I guess the other thing of this is when I think about if I was to find out that Matt was cheating on me and I'm just going to like, I'm going deep and I'm unpacking, right? Yeah. You wouldn't write a letter. I wouldn't write it, but I also wouldn't be calling the girl a bitch.

I wouldn't. And my initial response would be like, try to seek information from her, but I wouldn't be like, Hey bitch, like you did this. It just feels, it feels so dirty. It feels so bratty and it feels to me like the most basic form of retaliation to a cheating. Interesting though, do you think that it would have had as much cut through if it hadn't have used, like I'm talking about this as a marketing technique because I was actually sent this by two of my friends yesterday who didn't think it was a marketing technique.

And I saw it on so many people's Instagram stories who thought it was a legitimate thing. And it was me who said to them, guys, I think this could be a marketing thing because it's got like the website on there, you know, like, and I hadn't heard of this website before. and now I have. So tick, tick, tick. Do you think it would have had as much of a visceral response if they hadn't have used HeyBit? No, no, absolutely not. And that's why I'm like, I do think it has, I absolutely think it's effective. I think we're all talking about it. The fact that we are on what is, you know, I was gonna say national, but I guess people overseas are going to listen to this podcast. We're talking about it with the reach that we have about a

flyer that was being dropped in Bondi. It is very, very, very effective. I guess for me, the only thing that I saw as a negative is that brand association. And I say that as someone who owns a small business where I'm like, you care so much about the storytelling of your brand. You care so much about the things that your brand is associated with. But people care as well. Like people now want to know about your environmental impact. They want to know about all of these things that are behind the brand. We don't just want to look at something and go, that's pretty. I'm going to buy it. We now want to know about the political views of the owner. Like we're invested. So for me, I'm like, this is a ballsy move as a

brand when people are going to associate you with something. But then in saying that, look, I mean, there's loads of very successful, huge designer brands that have always flirted with that fine line of controversial. And I mean, like, yeah, Balenciaga flirted too close with the line, obviously, you know, but they danced with that line for so long. And the flirting with something that is controversial is such a hugely effective technique of getting people on board and to be fair I have looked at this website now like the flyer from this website and the clothes are good I would get them from there I went on there and I was like let's see what this is about then I was like cute I might hire that totally and that's what I was like probably gonna get something from

there like that's the clothes are so cute I genuinely think it's brilliant I the only thing I think I'm mad at is that I didn't think of this I wish somehow we were like someone cheated on find out who on life on cut and put it on everyone's like it's brilliant marketing the word bitch okay i get that it's a shock value but that's what marketing is and you said it before laura the world is saturated with everything right now especially marketing especially online marketing your scroll it's the same stuff that we're seeing from every single person trust me i know fucking tony may black friday shoot me in the head tony may black friday yep yeah but great marketing matt's marketing brilliant you have to you have to do things that are different to get

cut through. Exactly. And that's my point for this. That is why I'm like, okay, I get it. And it didn't hurt anyone because it's, it's not real. It's fictional. It's fictional. And at the end of the day, it stopped people in their tracks. They did offline marketing for a quarter of the price and got a ridiculous amount of the price. This was like 10 cents to print that and deliver it. That's cost money. A hundred percent. I reckon for them to do this, they have, so they had just what you're doing is furthering my point. It costs them nothing. It costs them nothing. This would have been the cheapest, the cheapest form of marketing that I do agree with you, Britt. It has been so effective. It does make you think like if you're a brand and you are in the hustle

of spending money on content, spending money on influencers, spending money on social media ads, what can you do that lies outside of what is the norm? What can you do? Maybe it doesn't have to be that flirts with controversial, but what can you do that is a different experiment that is different. It also makes me think though, and I mean, this could be way too deep for how simple this is. When we constantly have to have these different, more shock value kind of approaches to content or approaches to marketing, I guess to me, I go, do we end up getting into a position where it's just like, everything is so rogue now, there are no rules, like this is mental. But I actually brought up in the car when we were driving here to work today, there's that bra brand

i've mentioned them on the podcast before it's called nala i'm obsessed with them it's a small business down in melbourne and they had a bit of controversy with instagram and tiktok i think sorry if i'm not quoting this exactly correctly but essentially some of their bras are mesh and so the photos that they were using are they're like their actual bras and so they were posting photos on instagram and you could see nipples through oh god not the bra exactly and so that goes against instagram's nudity guidelines because women's nipples are the devil you know men's nipples are fine but whatever so they kept on getting posts taken down and they were getting you know that how shadow band yes you can get into trouble for it so to protest that they bought this

humongous inflatable boob with a nipple and they inflated it and floated it down the yarra river brilliant i thought it was so brilliant it was in protest to like nipples are fine do you know i like this because i mean like it's a giant tit floating down a river people are going to talk about it. Yeah. Do you see that tit? Yeah. And the thing that you said, Keisha is like, well, if everyone's going to do things that are so outside the box, does that, then that mean that no one's ever going to be shocked because things are like, people expect this type of guerrilla marketing. What I have to say on that is that, no, I do not think that there will ever come a time where the majority of brands are doing things that lie that far outside or that

shocking. And the reason for that is, is because mostly brands are safe and mostly marketing tactics follow what they see other brands doing. Most small businesses are reactional. They'll look at something else that another business has done and then they'll go, okay, well, I'll try that. Or they put their money into quote unquote safe ways of marketing their business because we don't have this indispensable disposable cash. A lot of small, especially small businesses, I mean, big businesses have the ability to be a little bit more playful with their marketing budgets. But when you are trying to be everything and do everything in your business, you don't have the creative freedom necessarily to go and do these sorts of things. So I guess from an initiative

perspective, I do think that this is great. I have a question for you both, and I don't even know what my answer to this is. Do you think we give more, oh, that's kind of clever and like a bit rogue and guerrilla marketing because it's small business. Do you think we'd feel the same if it was a huge corporation? 100%. Because in terms of it being a small business, it's creative and it sits outside a box. Whereas like for a big company, like if it was McDonald's or someone who was doing letterbox drops like that we would be like this is what your creative team came up with this is where you are with your millions of dollars like doing this weirdly enough it maybe be as successful maybe it wouldn't maybe we would be like oh that's so cringe mcdonald's are trying

to be a bit spicy and a bit you know edgy i think it also fits the brand it's a dress hire company so i think it fits really well like i think yeah i took your clothes from you you fuck you took your clothes off and fucked my boyfriend so i picked them up and so like you know in terms of it works for the story. The story is someone took their clothes off to have sex, to get back at you. I'm going to sell your clothes on this company. I think the story arc there makes sense. Yeah. Like McDonald's are not going to be like, you cheated. Come get a Big Mac. Yeah. Well, I know that we've been speaking about this for a while, but I've just jumped

onto the Instagram for an update. And the brand who has posted this letter on every single car is resharing all of the comments across social media. There are so many people who have reshared the picture of the letter on their car. People are being like, poor Jake. I want to know who Sarah is. There has been so many of them. And people are saying this is the most clever marketing. Some people are going to have this, did this land, didn't this land? And that was my initial reaction. But in terms of the amount of free eyeballs that they have garnered to their site, so many people are saying this is the best marketing play I've ever seen. I literally fell for it until I saw it was on everyone's car. I am sensing unrest in the hood and people are

like videoing other people's reactions to this, which, you know what, from a small business to come up with this, then I kind of changed my mind. I think that they've done very well. Which was my exact initial response, which is like, you have paid nothing offline marketing to get a ridiculous amount of online marketing. I cannot genuinely fault this. I think it's great. Yeah. And I guess if people's reaction to this is that they're taking it as the joke that it was intended, then it's no harm done to a brand. Laura, I can change my mind. Let's do it. Let's print flies.

I do. Let's print flies. Yeah. What can we say that's more controversial? Hey, we had a threesome and now we're pregnant. We did say that last week. I reckon we could print that review that we once got. It was three stars, mind you, that said, I thought this podcast was for uncircumcised men. Very disappointed. Oh, that could be a good promotion. Yeah. That's true. Come see what it's about. Who do you think is going to listen to that? Do you think it'll be uncircumcised men or everyone else? Net gain is positive. Exactly the same for this brand. Okay. Well, it is time for

accidentally unfiltered. Now this one, it's not so much funny as what it is awkward. Okay. Oh, here we go. I started dating my boyfriend six years ago. And after a little while, I thought it was perfect that his mom was a doctor. So I could go to someone I knew in the hopes of it being less awkward for me, but I was absolutely wrong. Initially, I was going to see her for minor things like, you know, vaccines or having a cold. And during this time I was on the pill. Eventually, I needed to get a new script made and I didn't think twice about going to her and asking for a renewal. I went in and I asked to get it renewed, to which she began to ask a lot of personal questions, such as, are you using protection when you have sex? Obviously, she's

implying with her son. And then she asked, was I sexually active before her son? What, six years ago? Well, no, they had only started dating. This happened six years ago. To which I replied, yes. she then asked me if i'd ever had an sti check to which i replied no she then demanded that i had an sti check and said it was routine and a checkup that was needed and every gp would ask for it i feel like the gauge of this was not that it was just asked for it was demanded by her mother that she had an sti check i don't know why this was ever a good idea she hands me a script with the words chlamydia and std screening on it and for me to pee in a cup and tells me that i must get it back to her as soon as possible. She then goes on to say, of course I never gave it to her

because it would mean that she would be the first person to find out if I didn't have an STI. I immediately stopped going to her. And yes, I have been checked since. The poor girl. But then it turns out, okay, there's a little bit more to this. The boyfriend's mom asked her, like she did like a follow-up, just like a courtesy. Are you ever going to get me back that STI? How's that STI check going? How's the clap? No, you can't say how's the clap. Why? It's just a colloquialism for chlamydia is that what we call it though is that no the clap isn't the clap no i found out the clap is actually colloquial for gonorrhea not chlamydia i've always i always thought it was because they both started with c chlamydia is really hard to spell also we don't need to

cutify an sti just like go get the pill get it done because it's easy to be like yeah i got the clap it's a very easily treatable one but i mean fucking awkward i get the gps they don't bog bill it can be very expensive, but I feel like that's a cost I would justify in my budget. When we interviewed Michael Hing at like one of the live shows, he said something which I so deeply related to. He's like, you have two doctors. You have one doctor for the everyday stuff. And then you have one doctor for the stuff that you don't want the everyday stuff to know about. And that is not your boyfriend's mom. That's how I feel about this. While we're on this, I did have one that I was going to read. I was like,

I'll save it for another week, but it's actually similar in terms of it's not that, oh, it is. It's just uncomfortable. I felt really uncomfortable when I read it. I'm so incredibly lucky to be 22 weeks pregnant today. Woo-hoo! Last week, I found some free online antenatal classes to attend as I have so much to learn about preparing, birthing, raising a baby. I joined the first class this evening via Zoom and I thought how great that this is free.

What a great similar community. I was on my phone and I was talking to the lovely midwife. There were a bunch of people that had also joined the class. She was giving some great information with diagrams, but every second word was um. so much so that it actually drove me crazy and I struggled listening I'm not being dramatic I swear I'm not exaggerating I've never heard someone say um more in my life so annoying once you go to something so if you look here um example the whole time now I listen to podcasts every day and I run large online training workshops for my work I know as a presenter that you need

to mix up your filler words for better engagement anyhow we're 10 minutes in and I'm actually struggling so hard with this constant use of the word um so I saw a chat box oh dear that I thought was anonymous stop it I have since learned that to be anonymous you need to click be anonymous I decided this might be the right time to suggest and I don't know why because this poor lady was doing this fabulous call for free and I'm so ashamed but I said content's great infographics are okay. I can't stand how much you are using the word um. Can you please stop or I will have to leave the chat. She thought it was anonymous. Valuable feedback. Okay, valuable feedback. And then. I'm not okay. No, it's and then the lady two minutes later, the midwife

read out very offended and grumpily. Thanks, Chloe. I just got the comment to use. So stop using the word um. I've been doing this for 40 years, Chloe, and no one has ever told me that it was a problem. So I will continue to use it. I am deceased. Can I just say, though, Just because no one's ever told you it's a problem doesn't mean it's not. I edit out all the ums. We don't really ums. You guys don't, but guests do. Oh, we're great with ums now.

I say like a lot though. I edit that out. It drives me crazy. Every time I listen back to an episode and I'm like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, delete, delete, delete. Oh, Chloe. How awkward. Like every, you've pressed.

Oh, I just can't. I'm just thinking about that moment. It pops up with your name and you can't take it back. It's like when you accidentally send the wrong text to someone, which now you can delete within two minutes but that moment that you press send and you're like I have deep regret I had a really really really beige version of this on the weekend like a minor minor version of this so recently we got peloton bikes right and I'm using it like I'm in the peloton world now it's great I'll do my lead 20 minutes a night time but I'm very unfit I've not exercised since dancing with

the stars like not a single this is gonna blow some people's minds like I haven't even been for a walk with the intention of it being exercise since dancing with the stars yeah but you're growing a fungus so like you're exhausted it's taking a lot out of me and also the labia yeah i'm growing a labia and a fungus so fuck you all but seriously i've been so bad so this has been a really big thing for me and i did my like 20 minute workout was my first one and then i went and did my second 20 minute workout and i was really proud because it was two days in a row but i didn't realize that i had my entire profile on public and at least like what you've achieved and it was like these fucking losers just done 20 minutes everybody else who was in the run was or in the

cycle was like private but i was there with my like 20 minute thing to say like dude this happens on apple watches and strava people can ask to be friends with you no i don't why would i ever want you to see how slowly i run a color like i don't need your judgment i'm judging myself enough i don't need for people to be able to see my exercise habits yeah like david in the uk doesn't need to know that I cycled for 20 minutes. Fuck off, David. I mean, Laura, I'm going to go against the grain here. I think 20 minutes on the Peloton is a flex. I'm only clocking 20 minutes. Does it count how many times you had to pause? No, I'm really into it. You can't pause because you can pause, but once you go and you go and your feet are strapped in on the, it's like a proper cycle.

I feel like a boss. I feel like I'm like a proper cycle person, but it's like once the motion, the forward motion is going, there's no stopping. There's motion in the ocean. No, see, I need this. I need this I need to have something that keeps me so accountable that it straps me in otherwise if there's ever an excuse to stop I will stop I'm properly convinced that the only people who share their health data are the people that like the creme de la creme they know they're fucking killing it it's a flex it's not to David Goggins accountable it's the people who run four minute kilometers and they just want to show people that's fine I think that's okay I don't think you need to be sharing your peloton workouts with everyone yeah put on private put on private

I did. It took me a while to figure out how to though. All right, guys, you know that we never finish a Tuesday episode without our suck and our sweet, our highlight and our lowlight of the week. Brittany Hockley, what is your sucky duck? Apart from running over a bird. That's it.

My suck killed a bird. Can you say the same suck? You can and you've done this for four years. When that is the biggest worst thing of my week, I'm 100% doubling down on it. Like I killed an animal and it left me traumatized and it's my suck. Yeah.

My sweet was just that I went and saw my family. I haven't seen all my family in ages. So I had just a really wholesome family weekend and caught up with some old friends, like just a weekend that I don't really do very often. I feel like I'm all just work, work, work alone, alone, alone. Like I just chill on my own all the time. And that's not a complaint, but like, that's my wind down, you know? And then I really thought, okay, I've got to stop putting my solitude and my love of solitude before actually catching up with the people that matter, which is actually perfect timing for the episode that we have tomorrow, which is with Dr. Ali Walker. Now we've had Ali Walker on the podcast before,

if that name rings a bell and we spoke to her about connection because she's a connection specialist and you guys loved her as much as we did so we've got her back and we're talking about exactly that solitude loneliness in particular young people tied to this time of year because it's a hard time of year coming into the christmas holidays well we really felt that it was the perfect time to kind of re-explore this topic this idea of loneliness and you know during a time of year where everyone is told to be happy because it's christmas and there's all these amazing things to look forward to. But if there is a gap between how you're feeling and what you're supposed to be feeling, i.e. jolly, i.e. Christmas, then it can make you feel even more lonely and it

can exacerbate those feelings of the things you don't have in your life, especially, and I know we've spoken about it in past years, but especially for people who are single, who want to be in relationships and they're going to family gatherings and everyone seems to be in a relationship. It can really highlight those moments in life as well. So that is coming out tomorrow. It is a great episode. And then for my suck and sweet for the week, my suck for the week. So Marley's become really obsessed with this baby doll, like obsessed with this baby doll. She carries it everywhere. She's the mom. She's not a very good mom because she's not particularly gentle with the baby doll, but it is an uncomfortably realistic looking newborn baby

doll. Like it looks like a, when a very fresh newborn comes out, it's got that like really squished newborn baby face. Anyway, my suck is, is that she now insists on taking it everywhere. that includes to the beach. So she took it to the beach with her yesterday and she dragged this baby doll around the kids pool by its foot. She threw it into the ocean. The amount of people who stopped and looked at us like we were. Like it was a real child. Just, well, there was so many double takes, so many double takes, but you can't get it off her. And it just seems so inappropriate to have it in that space. So this is my juggle is trying to explain to Marley while that that's not necessarily the best thing to do. It's not a big suck, but it is very, very, very awkward.

Yeah. I think you probably do need to explain that one. If it's that realistic and you're at a kiddie pool with other kids and it looks like a kid's drowning, I think you need to explain that one. Which we tried, but then it ended up in her having a full stage five meltdown at the Bondi public pools. And I was like, I just can't deal with this right now. It's not the hill I'm going to die on today. Anyway, what you got to do is when they're asleep, you take the toy and you hide it, put it in the bin. And that's how you get rid of things. And then you say that the toy fairy came and took it away. Is that what you say? Yeah. I think I'm doing some damage to my children. Not sure. Anyway, my sweet for the week is, you know how I talked about my laptop last

week and how it was absolutely effed and it went swimming in my handbag and it was all over. And then I bought myself a new laptop. Guess what? It came back to life. The rice worked. That is wild. If you've ever been curious, rice, Matt put it in a box full of rice for two days. And on the third day it rose again did he put the rice over the keyboards and stuff completely he opened it and he completely encased it in rice and it fully dried out and now it's working and i just feel like rice is the savior for everything if your life anything in your life is going wrong i think we just pop it in rice from now on i don't know about that break up rice rice yeah absolutely you got a cold go sit in some rice having a mental breakdown go sit in some rice it's going to make

everything better why do you think it's been such a core part of asian culture for so long they know what they're doing. Please do not listen to Laura's health advice. Wait, wait, wait. You hurt yourself? Rice. Rice, ice,

compression, elevation. See, it literally fixes everything. You don't literally eat ice. Rice. You don't eat rice. Anyway, thank you guys for listening to this episode.

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