Life Uncut - Girl Language & National Breakup day

Episode Date: December 11, 2023

Hey lifers,Today is a bit of a silly, fun episode because we're all crawling to the finish line, right??Laura's been in some child induced hell for the last few days and Britt has learnt that kids can be assholes. Weird that it took this long to get here!Britt has a new theory of girl language; the things we say vs what we actually mean.  PS Ben, always get a gift.Plus we chat about how many of you have been through break ups this week because December 11 is the most common day for relationships to end! Is it a good thing to go into the new year with a fresh start and no strings to the past or is it selfish to break up with someone just before Christmas? If you have a question please send it on it to life uncut podcast on Instagram hereJoin us on tiktok Or join the facebook group here Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands were never ceded. We pay our respects to their elders past and present. Always was, always will be Aboriginal land. This episode was recorded on Darug Wollamutta land. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. It's almost like you forgot what to say then. I'm Laura.

I'm Brittany. I have been living in hell for the last three days. Wow, we're just jumping right in there, are we? I'm in hell. Why? That's where my life is now. It's literally about to be Christmas holidays. Ho fucking ho.

Ho fucking hell. Ho fucking hell. No, we decided, we made it, the big decision to wean Lola off dummies. Oh my God, I thought you were going to say you have another kid or something. I can't, no. This has been the weekend that's traumatised me from ever wanting to have any more children. Oh, this is the weekend where you're like, if there was any inkling of maybe we could do this again,

it's been taken away. It's been ripped from. The rub you have rubbed, he will not be rubbing. The rug has been ripped from underneath you. So I mentioned this a couple of weeks ago. Lola, she's almost three and she's still on the dummy, like obsessed with the dummy. Also still has a warm bottle of water at night time,

which she calls my baby bottle. So how old is she? She's three in February. So we say that's 36 months. No, 34 months. We only talk in months, remember, until our kid's like seven. I don't do maths. I did standard maths at school and then I dropped out.

So, like, I mean, it's not my forte. She's three. Okay, she's almost three. The dummy has been well expired. I think they say that you should wean them off within the first year and then by the time they're three it really fucks their teeth up. But you know what? It's a coping mechanism for her and for me

and it's gotten me through some hard times. So she's not going to have any teeth but she'll be a good kid. No, she'll have teeth. they'll just be really splayed out, like kind of things like a little duck beak. That's like, that's not fair. No, I know I did that to her. Anyway, I spoke about it on here. And then shortly afterwards, I had a whole lot of guilt around the fact that I'm the one who's allowing her to have a dummy because it makes my life easier. Also her life arguably, but it's good for me. You know, she sleeps through the night. The dummies for you, not her. Anytime she's crying,

to shove that thing in. It's more a coping mechanism for me. And so on Friday night, this as in like just passed, something washed over me and I decided tonight's the night we're going to do it. We're going to go cold turkey. We're going to go whole hog. Where does that come from? Do you know what? I know exactly where it came from. It came from Lola was having a tantrum in the bath and then she hit me in the face and said, I want my dummy. And I was like, cool. I think maybe no dummy now. Okay. You're looking at really shocked. do kids hit their parents in the face yeah all the time kids are brutal man what little shit yeah lola kicked me last night i mean like she's a kid so i don't take it to heart kick her back

like mad does oh you how does that feel no because that's illegal yeah yeah so okay i took the dummies off uh i was gonna do i've tried the whole dummy fairy before i've tried to like bury it in the garden and then lollipops grew out of it. Like I've tried to wean her before, but the reality. She just buries it out of the garden. No, everyone's kind of like, oh, there's this like process. You can pretend like the dummy fairy came and took the dummies away or you can put them in the garden and then lollipops grow out. And then the kids are so excited because they've, you know, they've traded the dummy for something else. There is nothing on planet earth that my child wants more than a dummy. So there's

no bribery that's going to work in this situation. So you actually did yourself a disservice. Like by holding onto it longer it's been a bit easier for you but now she's old enough to completely comprehend that something's better with it oh yeah she misses it now because she's too old totally so friday night she screamed bloody murder for one and a half hour intervals four separate intervals so she didn't sleep basically that math is six hours six hours of screaming screaming and i'd go in there every sort of five minutes ten minutes like pat pat pat cuddle scream cuddle scream cuddle scream and what did you say I said I'm so sorry honey no more dummies we're a big girl we're a big girl now and she said I'm not a baby I'm a baby over and over so that happened

on Friday night Saturday night surprisingly it was a lot better I did bribe her with toys on Saturday and things were a little bit better and then Sunday night it's been manageable but not great so you went you didn't go down the track of anything you just said it's time you're a big girl you didn't there was no fairy there was no bus to aid it there was no nothing i'll make a trade no this went cold turkey does that make me a bad mom it's pretty brutal no i actually don't think it makes you a bad mom i think it's like kids have to learn says brit brit the girl who just asked did you kick it back yeah obviously that was a joke i do not support abuse yeah it was a very much joke guys i didn't feel like we're at the point where i needed to to make that joke

and then say that was a joke in case you're new to Life Uncut. I guess I was just surprised. I do think it's good for kids. I'm not a parent, obviously, no, but I think it's really good sometimes to not make up these things for kids, not to be like, oh, my God, like something took it away, but to be like, hey, you know what, this is what happens. You go through a point in life where you grow up

and you don't need it anymore. Yeah, it's resilience building. Because that is fucking life, man. People take shit from you and you don't get it back and there's no reason and it's not fair and that is life. This is going to be one of those moments in life that actually makes her a better human because imagine if she was 25 years old and still sucking a dummy oh laura that you would go down for abuse if your kids still had a dummy but you know there are kids

there are kids that still breastfeed at like 10 years old do you know that i don't think 10 but i'll tell you something there was that groom that was breastfeeding at his wedding no do you know what i think that was an urban legend i know we spoke about it on radio but i don't i cannot believe i'm pretty sure it was in dolly magazine sealed section i think it was real i can't believe that that was true, but I will tell you guys something. No shame to anyone who breastfeeds for a really long time because I was three and a half. No shame. If you're breastfeeding your son at his wedding, shame. Okay. I'm calling bullshit. Shame on you. If your child is 45 and you're still breastfeeding and he can say bitty, I would say that that's probably a problem.

No, I was breastfed until I was three and a half, three and a half. That's really old. that's like almost Marley like Marley's four and a half but like three and a half is a fully functioning little human that can like anyway apparently we were on a bus and I was trying to rip my mom's shirt open and I was like give me your boob and that was when she realized that maybe she should stop breastfeeding me no I do you know what I actually think three is not that uncommon and I genuinely mean that I have a lot of friends that have breastfed till two and a half three it depends on what culture I think in just Australian no but in Australia it is not unusual all I mean yeah in Australia it's unusual most people don't breastfeed for that long most people

and I think that if you are breastfeeding your kids at that age you're definitely not doing it in public you're doing it as like a wind down time at night time or something you know it's usually something that you kind of maybe you stop sharing it with people because people start to be a little bit like poo poo okay I'll remember that if that day ever comes to me I feel like I'm going to be that person that breastfeeds for five minutes I'm like oh I have to get off my tit That was me. I got to four months and I was like, I'm really, I don't know. Some people love it and it's sacred and it's beautiful. And it's such a bonding moment. I'd be more doing it to get my metabolism back. Okay. I made it to four months and I, like I said, I know that some people find

it's like a real connection and bonding moment. And we are all led to believe that it's going to be this incredible motherly thing that you're going to want to do. I just didn't like it. I did not enjoy it. And I know that it's very necessary. I take it back because we are so shamed into thinking that that's the only way of providing for your children. And that if the reason why you stop breastfeeding is because you don't enjoy it, then you're somehow a worse mother. I got to four and a half months or maybe five months with Marley and four months with Lola. And you know what? My kids were bottle fed on formula and they are fine. One of them still in a dummy, but they're fine. Left, right and center. I just laughed so hard. I don't know

if you saw that happen. I just laughed so hard that my hand flung past my own mouth into a tooth and I cut my finger. Speaking of snaggle teeth. I don't remember how it happened. I probably have blood on my face. My finger is cut open and bleeding from my own hysteria. Also, the one thing I do want to say is I went and got my nails done yesterday for like holiday nails. And I had this image in my head of what they were going to look like. And they're the ugliest nails I've ever gotten. I have to do so. I cannot go away with them. Can I show you? I'm glad you haven't noticed yet show me do you know what it was chloe fisher i saw a picture from chloe fisher and she had these really cute nails so i took a screenshot and i you know how like you have an idea when

you order something online of what something's going to look like because it looks amazing on the model like what i ordered and what i received it's exactly that and so i went into the place doesn't help that my fingers bleed i went into the place and i was like i like this vibe and they look nothing like it and they're hideous can i say something you're going to take this is an offensive thing and I don't mean it as offensive. You're about to say something highly offensive. You just have really bulbous nails. So this is not a good look for you.

I do. I have, well, this is, and I even said to them, they're really thick and I said, hey, I don't want thick ones. So what's the thinnest thing you've got? Like in terms of like acrylics or SNS because I don't know. I'm not that good at girly, girly stuff. So I always ask them. I don't know what I ever want.

They're fucking ugly, man, and I need to go and fix them tomorrow. I have my mum's fingers. Sorry, mum. Like if I ever get engaged, I'm going to have to Photoshop someone's hand onto my wrist. If you guys don't know, Brit is going over to Scotland. Brit is not engaged. She's not engaged.

She's going over to Scotland to spend Christmas with Ben. So they're going to, I mean, you're away for like eight weeks now. Seven, yeah. So if for some reason or if this is the time that Ben does propose to you whilst you're over there, you can't have those ugly hooves. No, I can't. Ben is definitely not proposing this time, but irrelevant. I cannot have these fingers.

What would you do if you did? Propose. Obviously say no. I mean, it's too soon. Come on. Bitch, please. I'd be all over that like a rash. Like 100%.

This is the love of my life. L-O-M-L. Hashtag. Love of my life. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Speaking of Ben, I don't think I said this. I don't think I said this at all.

Correct me if I'm wrong. We recently had our one-year anniversary. He was here for it. So it was when I was doing my egg freezing, happened to fall in that three days, which I felt like was, which was a sign from the gods, right? Because he wasn't supposed to be able to come, but he made this really big effort to come for my egg freezing just for that three day period. And it fell in that period, our anniversary.

So I was like, amazing, beautiful, special. On the day I had gone and bought him. Now I know this sounds extra and it is extra, but it was our anniversary and I'm in love and Ben likes fashion. I bought him a Prada bucket hat. it was expensive but I knew he was gonna love it and he does love it I don't know a single person in this world who has a Prada bucket yeah Fisher he loves DJ Fisher okay and Fisher only wears bucket hats he just loves he just fucking loves it and I was like it's special you know so I wrote

him this really long beautiful letter where I poured my heart out and I put so many emotions into it and then I wrote him a card as well the letter was extra then I wrote him a beautiful card then I got him this hat and it was wrapped up in this beautiful hat box and it had ribbons and it was so amazing so I was so excited to have this exchange with each other that it was the night before and I was like do you just want your present now because I want you to use it over the weekend over the couple of days that you're here and he's like okay sure so I got him this present you know when you know you've nailed it yeah so you're like I'm a bad present giver so no I'm never that I never had that feeling I knew I nailed it and I knew I just fucking knew it so

I was pumped anyway he loved it and then I was like looking at him I was like do you want to give me mine now? He goes, oh, if you want it now. I was like, well, yeah, because that's what we're doing. I'm excited. So he puts his hand in his bag and just pulls out a box of perfume and it's not wrapped and he hands it to me. And I was like, oh, thinking this must be the pre-gift to the gift. And I was like, should I do the card first? And he's like, oh, there is no card. And I was like, oh, is there a letter? He's like, no. I was like, oh, okay.

The guy just flew across the fucking world for you. So wait, so I opened the perfume. Beautiful. It's like a lovely perfume. And I was like, but it wasn't wrapped. It was just weird. It wasn't wrapped or anything. It just came straight.

He just handed me the perfume. And I was like, did you just get this last night at duty free in the airport? And he's like, yeah, I did. And I was like, oh, okay, thank you. And I was so disappointed. And I thought that the present would come the next day and it didn't come. Which is fine, right? Like it's fine.

but I had put so much effort into it. Okay, it was not fine. I'd put so much effort into it. And then I said to him, I actually asked him, I said, so you just got that from Judy Freed, so you didn't actually remember it was the anniversary or you didn't put any thought into it? And he said, no, you told me. Let's not get presents.

We won't get each other presents. Like we love each other, that's enough. I was like, Ben, if a woman says don't get me a present, she obviously means get me a present. Like no woman in the history of don't get me a present means don't get me a present. I am the exception to this. I am.

No, you psychopath. No, it depends on if you're a love language person. I am not a gift person. I don't care for gifts. So Matt and I will often say don't get each other a present and then we actually don't get each other presents. And it's really relieving that one person didn't go against it because if you've decided not to get presents

and then one person still gets one, it makes you feel like the asshole. But you said no presents. Okay, firstly, I said to him, I don't think I ever would have actually said that. I did. I was like, I don't think that came out of my mouth. Maybe I said it for Christmas because we're not going to get each other Christmas presents because that is expensive, right?

We are flying to each other, whatever. But an anniversary present, I was like, Ben, I don't think I ever would have said that. Secondly, if I did say that, never don't get me a present. Like you should know better. You should know me enough by now that that is not a Brittany Hockley way of living. So he thinks in his brain that he was doing the extra because he thought, oh, I get it. She doesn't want a present, so I'll just get her a duty-free perfume. And it made me think, we as women, I mean, I'm sure men do too, but we say so many things

that actually have no connection to the meaning whatsoever. This is like the equivalent of girl math. It's like girl language. We have a whole nother dialogue that means something completely different to what we say. Oh yeah, mine is, I have a headache actually just means I don't want to have sex tonight. So true. Like when you're in an argument or something, you know, if like you're giving them the silent

treatment and they're like, babe, what's wrong? You're like, nothing. I'm fine. I'm fine. Everything is not fine. The floor is fucking lava. Everything is not fine. I am about to divorce you.

We are so far from being fine that we are fucked. I've been thinking about this and there are actually so many things that I know I do and I know every woman does. I'm not hungry. Hey, babe, do you want me to get you something on the way home? No, I'm not hungry. Always get them a burger. They are going to eat your food.

No, do you know what the equivalent of this is? This is not that are you hungry, it's do you want anything. When your partner's ordering something at a cafe, do you want anything and you say, no, I'm fine. You fucking know, you know that I'm going to eat your chips and don't be mad when I do it and pretend like you didn't expect this. Yeah. Because then they'll always say, you said you didn't want anything. I evidently didn't mean it. Of course I didn't want anything. And then you got chips and now I want them. I didn't want my own. I wanted to eat yours because I don't want so much of them that I want a whole serve, but I want you to

share with me because you love me. That is absolutely the equivalent of mine and Matt's relationship. Matt so far now, he won't even ask me. He'll just order a second or whatever he's having because he refuses to share with me. Yeah. Again. Okay. On the food thing. What do you feel like eating? Oh, whatever, babe. You pick. Okay. What about a pepperoni pizza? I don't like pepperoni. Okay. Do you want to get a hot dog? Ew, I would never eat a hot dog. So you do care? No, because you don't care so long as it's within the framework of a specific selection of foods and your partner should know the types of things that you like to eat. Like if you say, oh, I don't care. It's clearly obviously going to be Italian, Thai or Mexican. Like there's no other options.

You can't say, oh, we're going to get a fucking chipotle tonight. You're like, no, that wasn't, I don't care so long as it's within our normal selection of foods that are on offer. Yes. This is a good one. I just want a guy that makes me laugh. What you mean is you in fact want a guy that is emotionally stable, who's also a smoke show hot, who's also financially stable, but is also slightly funny occasionally.

And doesn't cheat on me. And doesn't cheat on me. That is what you want. one of the ones i think i do to matt is i'll say to him do you want to drive do you want to drive in our world means i am not driving i don't want to it's not a question it is a request you will drive today yeah but i also hate driving all the time so the fact that i ever have to ask i'm like once again why didn't you read my mind yeah that's on you that's a you problem that's not a me problem absolutely not thank you it's not a you language problem at all no okay do you want to lift home

oh it's okay I can walk yeah I want to lift home I don't want to fucking walk like absolutely you double down on that question ask me again because I'll say yes maybe it's just that you want people to do you know what it is as well we have been groomed and maybe I'm taking this too seriously no we have been women we have been groomed to be too nice like we don't actually say what we want we just like give a version which is like the nicest version of something we don't want to ask for what we really want for fear of someone interpreting that we are, you know, not a nice person or we're too pushy, we're too whatever. We like ask for it, but in this like subliminal way in which we don't actually ask for it at all. We just imply it and hope that the other person

picks up in our cues. You always need to double down with the question always because the second and third time or triple down the second and third time you ask a woman something, you're going to get a different answer. Whether it's, are you hungry? Are you sure? But are you doubly sure? Yeah. Okay. Get me a burger. Do you want a lift? No, I'm good. Are you sure? Just let me take you okay yeah you can take me yeah but this is annoying okay i understand why it's annoying for guys who are like for sure okay i asked you a straight question you gave me an answer and now i'm the one in the wrong but also girl language is the new girl math i'm here for this it is it is but we do it to each other as well like girls do it to each other we say something and we mean

something completely different even like oh my god i have nothing to wear tonight no in fact you do you have a wardrobe that will kill you if it falls out onto you and you will drown in your clothes because that is what you actually mean. But I can't find the specific thing I want to wear tonight. Or when you go home on a one night stand, you're like, I never do this. Narrator. She in fact does this often. A hundred percent. I think it's hilarious girl language. Okay. Wait, I've got one more, which is like, oh, he's such a creep, which actually just, when you think about it, like, oh, he's so, he could be a creep. He could be a creep. He could be a creep. Or he's such a stalker. Nine times out of 10, he's not actually a stalker, nor is

he a creep he just really likes you and you're not interested in him he's not attractive enough he's not attractive enough for you to be into him whereas if he was more attractive and you were into him you would not find any of the behaviors stalkerish or creepy no because if the stalker is a smoke show that's emotionally and financially stable that also makes you laugh he's not a stalker anymore you're like i just found my dream boat he's incredible yeah i'm getting married also what about when you go on a date and they're like what are you looking for you're like um you know i'm i'm open to a lot of things you know but like i'm happy to take it slow it's not that. What you want to say is I want 3.3 kids and a white picket fence and to get

married within 12 months. But you can't say that. It's a bit overbearing. So a little statistic that you might not know. It turns out that this week in particular of all the weeks, actually specifically the 11th of December, which was Monday, is quite a hard day for a lot of couples because it is officially the day of the most breakups in the entire year. In the world, in the universe. In the whole of the universe. Even aliens are breaking up on the 11th of December. Everyone's breaking up on the 11th of December.

Okay, wait for this. Okay, so there was a report that was done by the New York Post and apparently breakup surge on December 11. Because of this, like this research that's been done into it, it's been anointed breakup day around the world. Isn't that depressing? Is that a day like pancake day? Like are we supposed to be like happy breakup day?

You know how there's pancake day and stuff? There's literally a day for fucking everything. Cupcake day, yeah. You don't celebrate breakup day. Maybe you do. Sometimes I think about my exes and I celebrate breakup day. Well, if you're the breaker-upperer, you'd celebrate more than the break-key. Do you know what, though?

I understand this theory. So this is like, okay, the 11th of December, I mean, we're well entrenched in the festive season, but if you're in a relationship that you don't want to be in, this is a very stressful time of year for a lot of people. And I'm specifically saying like people who are kind of on the precipice, like, do I break up? Do I not break up? Like, what am I going to do with this relationship?

I'm not really in love with them anymore. or, you know, it's not working out for me, whatever that looks like. This week is the D week. This is when it's going to happen because it's far enough away from Christmas that you don't have to do things together. So like the reason why everyone's breaking up now, and this is my theory, is because the looming decisions that need to be made around New Year's, around Christmas day, around like how you're going to spend your family holidays. No, it's a financial crisis. You also don't want to buy presents you don't have to buy. If this person ain't going to be locked down, You don't want to be spending hard-earned cash on them.

Yeah, ain't no one going to be buying this person a Prada bucket hat. No Prada bucket hat. Maybe some duty-free, tax-free perfume. I mean this though, right? Like this is why people are breaking up because it is the perfect amount of time. It's almost a little bit too late but it's just on the cusp that if it's not done this week you've got to wait until after New Year's and that sucks.

Well, it's because it's so family-oriented as well and it's like that awkward, like if you've been with someone for a little while, you're expected in the relationship and in the family to bring that person to Christmas but if you know they're not your forever you're like I don't want to integrate you into my family and then it just gets awkward it's easy to cut ties also everyone wants to go have their summer flings that's the other thing people want to go on holla bays they want to go and stop calling it holla bay sorry I'm a dork people want to go people want to go on no you're not you are not going back I know it I have no okay no

all right i have one more i have one more girl language i am such a dork quote unquote it's just a really hot chick who's just done something that's kind of slightly weird they're like i'm a dork i'm so random that was the other one i'm so random i'm so random is actually you're not random at all you're just a super fucking hot person who said that you're random so random i know i'm so glad i got that out i feel bad okay continue back to the brain because i know what you want to say is that I say that I'm a dork. I'm a dork. I'm a random dork. I'm sorry. If I'm saying Hollabay, Lolcano, Panalol, close the Lola door. I'm a dork. You can be a good looking dork too. You know, Laura, Cameron Diaz, something about Mary, hot smoke show dork. No, she's not.

That's, this is my argument. This is my argument. I washed your mouth. Keisha said she's a fake dork. No, she's not. This is my argument. Cameron Diaz is a fake dork because she's so hot. If you want to be that person if you see that person you're like oh my god I just wish I looked like her I wish I could be her she is aspirationally like cool girl funny Jennifer Lawrence another one they're not a dork it is yes they are it is the definition of cool okay anyways let's continue with December 11th you can be a hot dog moving on okay so we actually asked you guys because I was like okay is this accurate or someone just pulled a day out of their butt we're like I wonder how many of our listeners have actually gone through a breakup on December 11th or those couple of

surrounding it. I had my big breakup this week. My big breakup pre-Matt. Oh, I was like, what? I was like, is that how you're going to announce? Matt and I broke up because she cheated on him last week with Tim Robards. Yeah, I cheated on him. It made it into the Daily Mail. He's very disappointed. No, my big relationship pre-Matt, we broke up this week. So we did ask you guys, hey, how many of you have broken up around this time? And it was surprising. So we want to read a couple out. Okay. He broke up with me on the 11th, two days after my dog died. He said he needed to focus on his mental health but his mental health just happened to be a girl he was at university with that he had been seeing for six months prior he wasn't focused on his mental

health he was focusing on fucking someone else boy language it's yeah boy language okay i literally witnessed a breakup this morning on our morning walk this is going to sound like a lie but it isn't my husband and i were on our morning walk with the dog and we turned the corner to see two people sitting on a driveway looking sad and down at the road we said good morning as we walked past Fifteen minutes later we turned around and walked back past them and smiled again. About five minutes later we had crossed the road and he runs past on the other side of the road and yells,

Have a great day, guys. I have to run all the way to Fernie Hills, which is a suburb about 14 kilometres away in Brisbane. She just broke up with me. Life is shit. We were all like, oh, what the fuck. This was around 7am this morning and they were both clearly in last night's clothes, early 20s I'd say.

This is depressing. It is harder in your early 20s. We also didn't think this through. This is going to be quite a sad little depressing break, isn't it? Well, maybe not always. At his work Christmas party, I found out that he cheated with someone at work, so I broke up with him. He turned up at my house two days later asking for his Christmas gift.

What? What a fucking weirdo. What a fuckwit. Maybe he forgot. Maybe he was drunk. You don't forget that you cheated and got broken up with. No. He just knew she already got him the gift.

Wow. It's like Ben coming back being like, look, I know it's over, but that Prada backer. I really like it. Can I have that? Okay. Yes. I just broke up with my partner two days ago. Couldn't bear the thought of spending Christmas and New Year's together, introducing him to my family members when I knew it wasn't going to last. This is what I think is the most common one, right? Like it is such a big decision to bring someone home, but also it's the break between Christmas and New Year's feels so

long. And you have to then think about that person in your New Year's plans. And why do you want to bring in the New Year with a person who you know you don't want to be with? Totally. That's why people are doing it now. It's that new year's resolution, right? Like everyone's like, I want to start fresh. This is my year. I want to have good energy. I want to, you know, everything is surrounding wanting that fresh start. That's what I think. Like for some reason, I mean, January is the same as November, right? It's just a month of the year. Your fresh start can start anywhere, but we always associate it with the start of a new calendar year. And that means, you know, you don't want to bring someone into that time if you're not going to go forward with you forever.

You sign up for a new Pilates class and you dump your toxic eggs. And that's pretty much how it goes welcome january had a friend and i reckon this is really common that the guy literally said i really like you but i'm going i think it was thailand i'm going to thailand for the summer holidays so when she was like so he's like well you know he was like what he's like what so you go to thailand great like you're going to the beach he's like yeah but you know like so maybe we can regroup in january and she was like what the fuck he just wanted to go and have a sexy holiday and I think that's normal. Not normal sorry common. I want to say this I respect that not the I do respect it I respect it because he didn't cheat I respect that he knew what he was

going to do and he knew he was not going to be faithful he knew he didn't want to be in a long term relationship. No he wanted to come back. Okay I don't respect that part but I respect the at least being honest look I'm going overseas we shouldn't be together. Stuff's gonna get freaky. Yeah because he could have just lied and that would have been way worse she didn't it was never going to find out about it. Okay. Can I tell you what else happened in that situation? I'm on the edge of my seat now. Okay. Cause it got really bad. So she had agreed. She had said exactly what you said. Okay. I guess, I guess I can see where that's going. You're being honest. You want to go for a couple of weeks and then you want to come back. Let's just pretend that it didn't happen.

Go do your thing. Each to their own. Right. I was like, okay, interesting. He went, did exactly what he was going to do and got a random European girl pregnant. And now he's a father. I'm not making this up he's a father did they get back together they did for a couple of months yeah and then no and then he wanted to be in this child's life to this random woman that he didn't know so she ended up being like too hard basket so she left and he went and got together he moved to a european country and got together with this random girl to attempt to raise a child could not make that up wow i don't know what happened to this day that was probably two years ago and i don't know let's get them on the podcast i'll call them up i'll try and get them on you do you know what

though, that is like a little interesting side pivot here. I think sometimes in relationships, we can conflate honesty with someone being a good person as in like, we can go, okay, well, they told me exactly what they're going to do. They were being honest. So therefore that's a reflection of their true self. And so maybe they're even more worth dating, like worth giving another chance to, but sometimes honesty is used as a weapon as well. Yeah. But I do sort of, I am leaning on the side of, of respecting somebody that is honest because that's what it is, right? You can't fault someone. When somebody comes into a relationship, if you found out they've cheated, right? And you're like, oh my God, you cheated on me. They're like, no, I didn't.

No, I didn't. Whatever. They're lying. You have this big blow up. You hate them more. But when somebody owns something, he's like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. Yes, I did. Where do you go? You're like, oh, well, thanks for telling me. Like, you know what I mean? Thanks for, you can still be upset, but there's a level of when somebody just throws the truth out there that you can't do a lot with it. So when someone comes to you and says, hey, I really love you, but I do want to go and have this fling. I want to go overseas and be with someone. I'm just being honest, you know, of course there's a part of you that's like, they're weaponizing it a hundred percent, but there is also this other side where you're like, well, what, you know, I have to respect

that. Yeah. But I'd also question like, well, do you love me? And also what is the most important thing to you? Okay. I'm going to read out another tragic breakup for you all to feel really depressed about. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. He broke up with me out of nowhere two days ago. And the reason was we are on very different paths. This came as a complete shock to me as we have been chatting a lot lately about how we were on exactly the same path. So news to me, maybe he realized he was being honest. He realized it wasn't what he wanted anymore. Well, look, I guess what I wanted to say on this is if you have been broken up with this week, if you're going through a hard time in your relationship, if this seems like the end of days,

you are most certainly not alone. You are actually, if that makes you feel better, you're in the best company you could keep because there are more people who are breaking up this week than there ever has been before but also it can be a blessing it means that you are also going into new years with a clean slate with a new fresh outlook on life there's no covid there's no lockdown you can go get your new year's kiss you can go do whatever you want find some mistletoe yes and you can tell a man that you've never do this this is totally go home with him and say i can't believe i'm this is the first time but there are a lot of people but of course it's not easy to be broken up with at any time but it does get harder when it's around the Christmas if you're the one that's

being broken up with like when it's around Christmas time because you do want those special moments with somebody like if you have thought you were going into that with someone that might be the love of your life or a relationship or you thought you were going to have these amazing summer plans with somebody it is really really hard but I don't think it has to be and when I say that I know I speak about perception a lot but you can be going through a heartbreak but still trying to make the most of the situation and I think we're in Australian summer have your hot girl summer go out live your life don't necessarily get under someone to get over them if you want to great but I think there are really positive things to take from being single that

sometimes it's really hard to see when you're going through the motions of being heartbroken okay I have a question for you though around breakups this time of year is it selfish because and I mean this as in the person who's doing the breakup are they being selfish because I think for them it is still enough time for them to get their shit and their life in order because they were like well I needed to break up before Christmas I needed to break up before New Year's but it means that for the person who has just been broken up with that is not enough time to recover before those big milestones like doing Christmas like doing news I actually think that this week or like the next week and I know that obviously it is such a high statistics in terms of breakups

I think it is such an incredibly selfish week to break up with someone because I think you've left it as long as you could possibly leave it for it to not affect you adversely. But you've not considered how much it affects the other person. Yes. But if I had two options, if I was getting broken up with and I had the option of them being honest and doing it now on the week of the 11th of December or faking it and going through with the whole holiday season, family plans with each other, doing everything, knowing that they're going to break up with me in January, I would much rather it now before i do that before you recommit to families before you remake these special memories that's going to be so much harder that's a personal opinion for me like if i knew i

had two options also you're going to spend a mozza on presents maybe family presents food going away whatever i would rather start that new year fresh i think this is why it's really important to think that if you are in a relationship new or old like maybe if you're not married but you're in that preface just remember to always stick them on the side of the family photos because you need to be able to cut them out if shit goes south but seriously there is a photoshop thread in the facebook group if you guys need anyone photoshopped out throw it in there it's so funny all right well it's time for an accidentally unfiltered i was on a snow holiday with my family at the accommodation where we're in there was a big buffet breakfast now one morning i was lining up with my family

and my cousin was standing in front of me so i grabbed some cutlery a big knife i walked up behind him and jokingly put it into his back and said don't move gotcha the man turned around screaming and it was not my cousin she'd gone with a knife into someone's back as a joke like just held it there and been like don't move and someone just thought they've been attacked robbed in the buffet line for their sausage and the sausage over so stupid you'd die though you would die you would die like i'm so sorry and then he goes to her sorry he goes she said sorry sorry i thought you were my cousin and he goes why are you trying to stab your cousin last week if you listen to the episode i was talking about how

when we were at an event i accidentally rubbed tim roberts back like you know mistaken identity and I had this woman message me and she was like, don't worry, nothing will compare to the time where I picked up someone else's child in the cinema line and started walking away with them. She picked up someone else's kid thinking it was her child and started walking into the cinema. Her kid was still in the fucking lolly shop

and she's walking out with a two-year-old. Well, you know we never finish an episode without our Suckin' suite a highlight and a low light I will kick it off my suck was probably just that if anyone was located in Sydney area I don't know if this went up and down the coast I didn't look producer kitchen is not in well I don't know I'm not the weather person but just the heat wave that hit I'm assuming the east coast this weekend so it was just shy of 40 degrees about 38 degrees I think it hit two in Sydney probably out west hotter but it was just so insanely hot and I'm going to assume most people are like me and don't have air conditioning. So I just sweltered. And

then I had Delilah. So I kept putting her under the hose to keep her cool. It was just a smoke show. Do you know what we did? If you want to really like, you want to test yourself in 40 degree heat. No, we had our kids Christmas at their daycare Christmas party in Centennial Park at midday. Oh my God. I wouldn't have gone. Too hot. We did. We lasted one hour. I felt like I was swimming inside my own clothes. I've never been so warm. It's when you can actually, you know, when you see the heat in the air, like the air is different because it hits the pavement and comes off when it's that hot. The air is different. Do you know whose weekend sucked more than ours did though? Santa. Cause Santa was at that daycare Christmas party and the poor man was dying. He

literally looked like he was melting from the inside. I was like, you're going to end up in hospital Santa. And he was like, I think I am. I think I am the poor guy. Anyway, kids had a great time. My sweet was that I just had a really wholesome fitness weekend. And when I say fitness weekend is like, I just did a lot of walking with Delilah, swimming in the ocean. I did ice bars. I did saunas. I did facial because I'm pre-peacocking. Peacocking starts next week because I'm going overseas. So this is a pre-peacock where you get the skin good, the glow, just the feel good on the inside. And then I'll do all the outside stuff like the brows and the lashes and the tan. But you know, it starts from the inside. The hideous nails.

Well, I'll be redoing those tomorrow if I have time. They're so bad. My suck for the week might be an overshare. But you know what? That's what we do here. That's unlike you. Could be a little bit too much for some people. Might not be enough for others.

Who knows? You know when you think you're at the end of your period? You know when you think it's finished? You're like, oh, yeah, I'm done now. Don't need any sort of protection or safety mechanisms down there. As in menstruation. Yeah. What do you mean as in menstruation?

I just wanted to confirm it wasn't like a period like at school. like a period drama yeah like i'd finish my period drama that i've been watching yeah yeah like you know exactly the red flowing kind that comes monthly great just clarifying okay so you know when you get to the end of it and you think it's finished and you're convinced because you've just done like a whole night there's been nothing you've done half a day there's nothing and you're like cool we're good we're scot-free it's time to go you know el tamponi less no tampon no okay that was me this morning this morning i was like we're good we're sweet made it through the night. Yeah. I don't need it. And even if there is, it's just going to be a little bit up. So

that's another thing. Get in the car, go and pick up producer Keisha. She gets out of the car to go and get a coffee. And I, it was like, like a sprinkler just started in my pants. It was a fakie 180. Yeah. It faked me. It just turned around and said, oh, you think I'm done? Yeah. It does that to keep you on your toes. It's like, psych. Here I am. Well, anyway, it's in my pants now. So that's my psych for the week. And I really like these pants and now they're pretty ruined. but anyway they're blue but I thought they were tie-dye but it's just a period great tie-dye pants it's a really interesting design how it's just tie-dyed in the crotch yeah they've really just honed in on that area yeah looks beautiful like a sunset yeah anyway

my sweet for the week is that my dad is in town Terry Byrne is here from Magnetic Island he's been hanging out with the kids all weekend he's staying at our house and this is the first time, I think in maybe seven years, my dad has stayed at my house. He always stays at my sister's house. So I wasn't sure how it was going to go. I was like, wow, that's a lot of dad exposure time in a very short period of time. But it's been amazing. We've had the best time. We went to the RSL club on Friday night. The kids have loved having granddad in town. It's been a very wholesome family time. And he's here for a couple more nights and then he goes back to his island. I do know that because it is in our joint diary.

Laura's like, Terry, Terry Byrne is here. And I was like, thanks for that. Daddy's in town. yeah but like literally yeah no daddy visited yeah not metaphorically like sexy just like your dad's here no but you know what is really weird and this could also be a bit of a suck because i call matt daddy all the time because i'll say like no stop the conversation ew no i call matt daddy as in like for the girls i'm like go and ask daddy go and tell daddy you know like hey daddy no i don't say it like that i could but i don't i'll refer to him as daddy all the time anyway We were at the RSL club having dinner and I said to my own dad,

hey, daddy, and it came out. I just died a little inside. I'm levitating. That's gross. And I was like, ew, sorry, daddy. That was the weirdest thing. And it was weird for him and me. We both felt this really uncomfortable.

It's uncomfortable for me also. I wanted him to pass the gravy and I said, hey, daddy. That would be definitely a bedroom thing. Hey, daddy, pass me the gravy. Is it hot? Pour some gravy. Yeah, is it hot? All right, on that note, let's get the fuck out of here.

Okay, bye. Anyway, guys, if you've loved the episode, I know it was just like a silly little light catch-up episode, which I feel at this time of year is exactly what we all need. We have a very big episode for you guys tomorrow. It is our second part two on narcissism, covering narcissistic personality and how to deal with a parent who is a narcissist and that dynamic, whether it's co-parenting or your own parent as well. It's such an interesting app.

And you know the drill. Tell your mom, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends and share the love because we love love. We'll be right back.