Life Uncut - Is Your Love Language The Opposite Of Your Toxic Trait? And What The ‘Cool’ Girls Are Quietly Doing

Episode Date: September 30, 2025

Hey Lifers! You’re with Britt and Keeshia today because Laura has officially had her little Poppy! We’ll be bringing you an episode all about Poppy’s birth soon! Britt has been reunited with Ben and is back to enjoying marital life. Britt has been seesawing on the decision of whether to have kids or not for a while now, and this experience with breast milk has surprisingly not brought her any closer to the decision. Did you/do you feel an intense ‘maternal pull’ or are you still ‘waiting’ for it to ‘kick in’?  Do you have ROMO (relief of missing out)? Or is there a part of you that misses some of the chaos that used to be in your life? We speak about Cillian Murphy’s new ROMO phase and how our new joy in life comes from high pressure hoses. There’s a new reality TV show where “true crime meets true love and judgement meets redemption.” We speak about whether we’ve gone too far with reality TV. Would you date someone with a criminal record? Would it depend on what the record was for? We unpack a video posted by Emma Paige; “your toxic traits are the opposite of your love languages.”It seems to check out in our lives! We also speak about a substack written by Lauren Talulah titled What The Cool Girls Are Quietly Doing Right Now . There seems to be a shift in the way people are showing up online especially with LinkedIn, wearing outfits that don’t try to be flattering, romanticising platonic dependence and posting much less. Have you felt a shift in what is “cool” online? You can watch us on Youtube Find us on Instagram Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! Xx  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This episode was recorded on Camaragal land. Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Brittany. And I'm Keisha. And as you know, or you may not know, Laura has left the building. We hope that their baby has exited her vagina right now, but Keisha is filling in while Laura is away. So thanks Keisha for stepping up to the mic again. It's an absolute pleasure and we have recorded this a couple of days in advance.

I know that if you've been listening over the last couple of weeks, you're probably like, guys, what the heck? But Laura having the baby meant that we had to record a little bit in advance just in case she didn't go to the complete, you know, 40 weeks or whatever it's supposed to be. Well, because we don't, you don't know, right? Like we didn't record that far in advance, but probably like two weeks out, we were like, all right, we don't know if you've got 12 hours left because she started to get feelings. we're like we don't know if you've got 12 hours left or two weeks left so we need to like put

some stuff down we kind of had like a little bit of a panic and added a couple of extra recording days because we were like uh we are not prepared the boy scouts did not what was their motto always be prepared none of us followed that rule but you've gone over to see your husband for the first time since you got married dude first time in three months can you believe that first time in three months it's such a strange thing because you get married and then i just don't see him and I have so it's such a weird feeling I know we've mentioned it so I won't sit in it but it's sad to be in the most exciting chapter of your life and not chaptering together like I feel like if you were reading a book and you turn the page you know how there's a corner you turn the

corner I mean you put the corner down so you remember where you are but that corner's still down I haven't been I haven't been able to move past the corner getting into literature I don't know I feel like there's there's kind of two ways that you can look at it I think that you're extending the period where you still get really excited you've had that for three years it's kind of special I feel like I don't know I almost feel as though it's the opposite to my relationship we went to very like monotonous living together quite quickly and I shouldn't say monotonous but like we went to like that very yeah poor thing I think we went to that very settled life quite quickly yeah we're living in a honeymoon it's good because we're in the honeymoon phase

but yeah so that's where I am it's hard to speak to it because I'm not there in real time yet I'm leaving in a couple of days at the time of this recording. But speaking of Laura and babies, I had like, I was about to say a world first. I had a moment that I didn't think was going to happen to me for a really long time with babies. My sister Sherry came down for 24 hours. She had to come down for some work. So she left baby Maya at home with Jay. And it was the first time that she'd been away. And so she gets down and she realizes that she forgot her pump. And she was like oh my god I forgot my pump and I was like what does that mean do I need to go get you one like I don't know what's going on do you want me to suckle in your teeth look do I need to step up

to the plate that's disgusting you will not need to take a multivitamin that's actually disgusting you you're a sicko so anyway she's like no no like I'll deal with it it'll be fine we had a job together so we went to work all day so she couldn't do anything and she gets home and she was in so much pain and so she goes into the bathroom to have a shower and I am in the bathroom as well because that's what we do we just talk we don't care about being naked together whatever so I was like doing my makeup or something and she's like hey you want to see something she's like watch how full my boobs are I can just I can just milk them out into the shower and I was like really and she's like yeah watch this and she went to squeeze her boob and start to milk it and I'm not

kidding it shot like half a meter literally all over my chest it was like this sexy it could have been hot if it was not breast milk like if it was something else and I was like wow and she was like oh my god never had it shot that far but she literally just like squeezed it sprayed straight onto me she's like that has never happened and I was like this is a moment I didn't think I was ever going to experience like I was like what do I do now and she's like I guess you're gonna get in the shower okay so she's just shot a projectile of breast milk at you did you taste it did it land on you oh yes I lick my own chest now I'm licking the breast milk off my chest like there is a part of people that wonders what breast milk tastes like I've never been one whether I try my own

or not I mean surely you're gonna taste your own just out of curiosity it was a missed opportunity I probably could have taken that moment not even in front of Sharon I could have walked away and tasted it but I didn't I just freaked out but I would taste sherry's breast milk like I'm not against it yeah okay I feel like if there's anyone in my life that I assume that if they are ever in that situation will like prank people with it it's you I feel like if you ever have the ability to shoot a projectile of breast milk at me you will do it you'll take your opportunity would you taste my breast milk I reckon you would you do everything else maybe you would at least for this is actually so strange I have no logical reasoning for this but if you were to ask me

are you going to taste Laura's I don't know why but the answer is no and I don't know why it's a little bit more of a maybe for you that's strange I have no logical reason for why it would be more of a maybe for you maybe because for me I think you'd pressure me more I think you'd like hold you down almost just try it um no maybe it's because Laura's already got kids so it's more associated with like a function and maybe if I was having my first one it's still like would you taste mine no I reckon you would but I don't reckon you'd tell anyone I reckon you'd keep it a secret even you'd tell someone you'd secretly film it for content did it make you more or less maternal that is such a good question thank you it's hard and no it's a good

question because you surprised me I didn't know we were going to go there I have not had I'm still waiting for that maternal pull like and I know we joke about it I've been waiting all my 20s for the moment of where I'm like oh yes I really it's overwhelming and I'm ready and I feel it and I I've always said I'll wait until that moment not necessarily that moment obviously I also wanted to wait for a husband and somebody to do it with but I've been waiting and it hasn't happened yet and everybody kept saying wait till your sister has a baby like wait to it because you'll love it like your own and I do I love my like my own but it doesn't push me any further in the direction of having a baby which I'm is really surprising to me because I thought it would and I thought it

would be what gets me over the line with it's time yeah but I've been I've been reading a lot about it actually like you guys know I've talked a lot how it consumes me but I try and find a lot of sub stacks and opinion pieces and whatever else or just people having discussions about it I actually found a whole Instagram page dedicated to figuring out if you want a child like by this one psychologist anyway a lot of women say the same thing that they're like they keep waiting for the maternal pull and it just doesn't come and I don't know if that's I don't know if it's a hormone thing I don't know if it's just uh like if it's a physiological thing or if it's a mental thing I don't know if there's like it'd be interesting to see I don't know if there's

something in some women hormonally that makes them supercharged to want to have that or if it's just like a a mental thing I don't even know if I'm making sense I'm just sort of speaking as it's coming to me I think you're making sense to me because I feel somewhat similar you know there's never been a point in my life where I've said the answer's no to children but there's never been a point in my life where I've said I want it so much I would be willing to sacrifice a b c d I assume that I am going to want to have children since having a puppy it's definitely kind of it's done both things no it's not pushed it back necessarily it's kind of just made me a little bit more aware of the responsibility that will come with it you know which obviously is going to be

more than having a dog but it's almost that like taste tester and because she's a puppy she's like pretty high attention needs at the moment and so is a small child turns out that's what I mean I'm like, it will be at least probably six times as much pressure as what I'm just going to think of like how much more of a responsibility will this feel like? And I don't know, it's kind of, it's been one of those things that I do wonder if I'm just the type of person, I think you might be similar, that nothing ever really will feel like now is the moment, like, you know, now you're ready. I just don't know if we're those types of people.

I think we're the type of people who we kind of always say like, oh, this week's super busy, but next week will be better. and we're always living for that but next week but next week but next month but next year or whatever it is and I just don't know if that ever works you know I think that's for a lot of people it's kind of like you just gotta it's just gotta happen which might be happening to you right now as we're you know as this episode is airing well I'll be practicing that's for sure but like for Laura is a great example she pretty much thought I don't want to speak for her but from the conversations we've had she pretty much thought she was done after Lola but then the reason that

they had the third was because she said that it changed and she felt like I wasn't complete she's like I felt like something was missing and I needed to finish off like the the puzzle for want of a better term but that feeling I wish I had I wish I was like yes my life I need that and then I could go in that direction but at the moment I don't a new opportunity comes up I'm like yes I'll do that I was like I will postpone pregnancy for another 12 months like yeah pick me did something happen last week that made you feel more or less ready to be having young things in your house interesting that you asked that Keisha so last week Keisha was like hey can you babysit Bonnie I've got to go out for this is her new little Australian shepherd puppy she's four

months old I've got to go out for a couple of hours and I was like yeah of course like Keisha's looked after Delilah for years Delilah a grown dog that has toilet change um but wasn't when I first started looking after her I would like to to make very clear to everybody before this story continues so I was just at home and I was at home with our friend Claire now you would have heard us We're always speaking about Claire. She came on the podcast recently. She was the one that was talking about the AI dating. She works for the podcast Behind the Scenes.

And so I messaged her and I said, hey, do you want to come get some dog puppy love? Because I've got Delilah and Bonnie tonight. So if you want to come over for dinner and we can just play with puppies, you know. Well, it was only supposed to be for like an hour. Actually, you guys would know Nat. She did an episode with Brit and Laura a couple of weeks ago. She wrote the book Nature's Last Dance and it was for her book launch event. So I was like, cool, it's not going to be long.

You know, I'll just drop Bonnie in an hour. maybe hour and a half tops. It's down the road from you. It'll be so all gravy. The girls will love seeing each other. Very exciting. And the dogs love each other, right? So they come over and they're just chaos. Like they are just running an absolute mug. It had been raining outside. So the mud that was, I can't even talk about it anyway. So I order us dinner. I only need to go across the road to pick up our tie, right? So I've ordered it. I would be gone. I'm not kidding. Three minutes max to walk there, pick it up and walk back. It's so close to my house. And so I said to Claire hey instead of like getting the dogs on leads and taking them out for one minute

I was like do you just want to stay here I'll be back in three minutes that's 180 seconds and she's like yeah as it turns out that's all Bonnie needs as it turns out that is all you need so the back door is always open they have been outside for hours they can do what they want out there they can come and go I left the house for 60 seconds and I get a message from Claire who stayed home SOS and I was like oh no and she called me immediately and I was like what could have gone wrong I'm barely out the front door and I call her and she's like it's a disaster and I'm like what she's like please come back I come back Bonnie in 60 seconds has explosive diarrhea the entire house it's like she was walking shitting like spraying it and it was

explosive it wasn't there we've just been too excited and it's just the moment's gotten the better of us and it's come out our bottom okay as if that wasn't enough she simultaneously was winging and then walking through it so the diarrhea was everywhere the wee was everywhere and then the footprints of the diarrhea and we i could see everywhere she'd been in the house 60 seconds i was like how and it wasn't it wasn't her best moment she's not proud of it she does feel remorseful she feels embarrassed she doesn't because she did it twice more in the next 20 minutes so i'm at this book event obviously phones on silent and paying attention to my friend who's achieved this amazing amazing thing she's written her first book she's got this room full

of people i'm so proud of her i've gone to take a video to put it on instagram and i've got like 12 messages from brit that includes a video i sent video footage yeah i sent footage and i look at and I was like, how's this even possible? Like I've been here for three minutes. Do you know I was nearly sick. The smell. I have a small apartment and we're about to eat Thai. I was like, nothing has put me off Thai curry before.

So the smell is overwhelming. Claire, bless her, had to go outside. I was like, you go outside. You go outside and you just take the dogs and I'm going to deal with this. Keisha, I couldn't even clean it. I had to get a dustpan and broom and try and scoop it up like a shoe. It's your own fault. You don't have paper towel.

Who doesn't have paper towel in their house? Paper towel is not fixing this. You saw it. I had to scoop it, shovel it. I'm like, what has this dog eaten? Then as soon as I cleaned it, you can't write this. She went back to the same spot and did it again. Yeah.

She felt comfortable there. I'm glad. Look, it wasn't her best effort. It was her first time. It was a great effort. It was her first time coming. no it was her second time coming to your house but it was her first time that I've left her at your house I do have fears about whether she's going to be welcomed back but she's just young

okay I would like to remind you that on two separate occasions Delilah diarrhea'd on my carpet in my apartment you never sent proof of that so I don't think it happened I didn't send proof because I didn't take a video I was like oh my days I need to clean this out of the carpet immediately but yeah look I am sorry and I got home from the book event and I washed both of them in your shower which was a mission it was a lot of effort for me for that small amount of time you were like for that small amount of time i was like how did this turn into such a big thing and i ended up being in the shower at brit's house with a saucepan because you you don't have one of those shower nozzles that can come off because my dog doesn't shit herself i don't need a shower nozzle

i don't need a butt nozzle you're like where's your butt nozzle i was like we don't have one I'm like, I have a dog that doesn't shit herself. I would like to formally apologize, but also ask if Bonnie is welcome back to the house. She is, but outside. You did ask her if she can come back tomorrow night. And I was like, yes, but she's outside. They can play outside. They love it.

She's like, not diarrhea, no moulange. But it goes back full circle, right? It's like, you forget how hard puppies are. And then it's like, imagine if this was a real life human baby that we had to keep up. That has been like something that I've been kind of been more hyper aware of at the moment because I'm still getting up in the middle of the night to take her out at least once. Laura hates you right now.

Sorry, not really. She doesn't. No, it's so funny because Keisha's been walking in in the mornings when we get to work. Laura's been up all night with two kids and vomiting. She's pregnant. She's so unwell. And Keisha's been walking and, like, sits down.

She's like, I've had to bring you guys. Sorry I'm late today. It's been a really rough night. I'm just not getting any sleep. And she's complaining about no sleep with the puppy. Laura's looking at her like, are you serious? she has looked at me to be fair she's actually been really sympathetic which has surprised me and there's been moments where I've been like do I need to check myself here because but she said

she's like puppies are a lot of work but we're getting a dog door installed next week actually which I'm very excited about and I've realized that I have so surpassed the period of my life you in particular know that the latter part of my 20s even like early 20s to actually almost for the completion of my twenties, I lived a pretty chaotic life. It was full of thrills. It was unmedicated. It was very up. It was very down at certain times, but it was definitely a life of thrills. And I realized over the weekend, right now I've got a little bit of a cough. So sorry if I sound a little croaky, but over the weekend I was not feeling well and I get sick really, really rarely, but I was seeing things on people's Instagram stories of them like going and having

drinks and going and doing fun things in the sunshine and I actually had this moment where I was sitting down being like wow the most exciting thing that's happened to me this weekend is that we bought a pressure washer we went to Bunnings and we bought one of those high pressure hose things have you got one if you don't mate it is the most satisfying thing that will ever watching the concrete as the color changes in the lines of the pressure washer so sexy there has not been a dopamine buzz that i have got in the last six months that is as high as that it is so satisfying it is and like my garden is coming today he goes do you want me to pressure hose i said you know it is the pope catholic yes you are gonna pressure you want to watch it you want to

see it or just at least before and afters our video editor ness was we were just talking about this before and she's like oh nothing's hot out there like when you're watching like someone cut grass or someone pressure hose a driveway and she's like her whole algorithm has become like pressure hosing driveways yeah satisfying lawn I've told everyone about this Instagram account it's a place it's the place that you get to and I don't know if it's an age thing or if it's who you are but actually you know what's really interesting I just read this you know Killian Murphy he's from Peaky Blinders he was just doing an interview like on the red carpet about a new movie but that he wasn't a part of and he was asked do you have FOMO like fear of missing out

on this movie because he'd been in other movies and and he goes no I have ROMO and he's coined a new term and I love it because I realize it's me Romo is the relief of missing out so it's like when you've made plans and someone cancels and you're like thank god I don't have to go to that anymore or I don't have to go out or I can like I very rarely get FOMO like I am so happy to miss out on really big things and not I don't know if I'm saying it right not big things but like when someone cancels a plan the relief that I feel because I'm like oh I don't have to shower do my hair do my makeup get dressed drive to the plane like I can just sit down and watch a movie but I don't know if it's an age thing or if it's just like a personality type I think this year I've

been a lot better at putting in boundaries so I used to really over commit to things and I would kind of run myself rugged really into the ground by trying to do so much and if we were invited to anything especially for us in this industry we get invited to a lot of like music events as in you know the music labels will have certain things whether they'll have an artist that's visiting or something like that and they can be really really fun and I've gone to quite a few of them in my time and this year I've really made it a quite a deliberate effort to stop saying yes to those things because I say yes to them because they're really exciting and I'm like oh my gosh this will be amazing but it's too much well then it gets to the work week they're often on on like

a Tuesday or Wednesday night because it's the time where everyone doesn't have other plans right and so I say yes to them and then I find myself getting to the events and even though they can be a lot of fun I go home and I'm quite exhausted it affects my work day the next day so I've been a lot better at saying no to those things but now that I'm saying no I will then see people's Instagram stories like either that night or the following day and there's still that part of me that's like oh it looks so much like it looks like so much fun yeah but you have the FOMO but not enough to want to go again yeah you have yes you have ROMO FOMO I have bit of both yeah a bit be yeah there is a real contrast in the last couple of years of my life and I really have

entered this new very settled phase and there is an aspect of me that misses the impulsiveness and it misses the buzz that used to come from my whole life not enough to want to go back to it not not enough to prefer that to where I'm in I think I've just got one of those brains that you know this sounds a little bit dark but I have that type of personality and that type of brain that can chase thrills and so I have to put certain parameters around myself to to make sure that I don't end up down some like kind of dark pathways where I'm doing things that could like blow up my life yesterday Keisha said to me I mean there was a lot of context around this but I'm just gonna skip it she said if something ever happened to me in Toblerone and we broke up for whatever reason

she's like I just never date again I just don't think I would ever I would just be happy with my dog my pressure hose and just like live a life alone and it's funny you think that because I don't believe that but I understand the feeling of thinking that you would do that of like I could never face going out again and like getting back into that like the early trenches of dating yeah and I think it's because I've got a couple of friends who are dating at the moment and from what I've heard like it was bad when I was doing it but I don't know if it's just circumstantial from what I've heard it is getting worse I'm really feeling for all of my single friends and for all of you listening that are single and in the trenches of that kind of cycle of dating there's

part of me that I used to feel like I could never imagine I literally would do anything to have been with someone like I just so desperately wanted to be loved and maybe now that I've kind of reached that destination I feel like I've kind of got this different sense of self and like this different sense of comfort in in who I am and like what brings me joy in life so look at the moment I'm kind of like if anything ever were to happen that was horrible and we were to either break up or something were to happen to him where he like passed away or something oh god I just feel as though say that well I just feel you know Grace and Frankie I feel like the platonic friendship I feel like that could happen to me I don't want to get people like down and say how grim dating

is right now because I'm sure it's brilliant as well but just this morning um my friend who is on the AI dating app was saying she had a date booked and locked in and you get a message basically the night before from the AI dating app. That's like, Hey, are you a hundred percent locking in? Like it's tomorrow. Then we'll release the dating information and whatever else. Anyway. So this was just yesterday. She was supposed to be going on this date and they both got the message to get the location and he canceled on her. And he said, no, he pulled the pin, but that's just not a normal cancellation of a date. You have to pay a cancellation fee. So she's like, this date would rather pay $25 cancellation fee than actually meet me on. And I was like, that's, we laughed.

Are they able to provide an explanation? Like things come up. No, you can't. That's the downfall of the AI dating app because you're not speaking to them. So you just get a message that's like your date is cancelled on you and they've copped the $25 cancellation fee. My rejection sensitivity, if anyone doesn't know, there's this condition called rejection sensitive dysphoria.

And I didn't know about this. It's really common in neurodivergent people, like particularly with ADHD. I had no idea about this, but I have a real like sensitivity to rejection and it impacted my dating life massively, but I had no idea. I thought everybody felt that way. If I was on that dating app, you don't know, that guy could have had a work meeting pop up. He could be sick.

Something actually could have happened in his life. But me on the other end of that would have been like, oh, it's because of the worst thing about me. Like this is why I don't think I would be able to re-enter the dating landscape. I just, I think I'm too, I think I'm too sensitive to it. Okay, well, listen to this. It's not the worst news because there is a new dating show

that's casting. i can't believe you actually want to talk about this to me on whatsapp last night and i was like oh wow we really there are just no levels that we won't go to these days i not surprisingly to people like i like reality tv okay have i done every reality show yes almost i've done a lot of shows i love dating reality tv like anything to do with love sex dating like i just love it i love to watch other people's relationships that's not shocking and I think most people like it that's why we have the voyeurism well yeah it's why we have love island and the bachelor and love is blind whatever else like I'm sick for it so I saw this like new thing pop up that was like casting

new dating show and I obviously I wasn't interested to apply but I was interested in just seeing what oh my god what's this new show are you devastated that now that you're married there's a whole lot of reality shows that you can never go well yeah all the dating shows are gone and I also can't do MasterChef because I can't cook. I'm like, what am I going to do? I'm done. So I want to read you the description. It's called Let Love Be The Judge. Seeking single attractive men and women, 21 years plus, who have been convicted of a crime and have felt judged, misunderstood or rejected because of it. For a new groundbreaking dating series for a major streaming service where true crime meets true love. I love how they put in there, if you feel like you've been judged,

If you've been convicted of a crime, you quite literally have been judged by a criminal system. Okay, this is the tagline. I love it. Where true crime meets true love and judgment meets redemption. Oh, dear God. You are more than your past. Have you ever dated someone who's got a criminal record?

Hang on, it continues. Oh, sorry. No, sorry. We need the full description in case people want to reply. If your past has followed you into every relationship and people can't seem to see who you are now, This is your chance to be seen, heard, and loved for the person you've become. This is not just a dating show.

It's a social experiment in second chances and romantic redemption. Because if you are still hiding from your past or the law, you might never find your future. Sorry, is this where we're at for dating shows? And I want to stipulate, I'm all for second chances and I'm all for leopards changing their spots. Like I truly believe people can change. And I'm talking broadly. I'm talking about someone that might have cheated in their early 20s.

They're not always going to be that person. I'm not talking about someone that might have been convicted of, like, homicide. And then I'm like, oh, let's give him, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm talking baseline. Yeah, like someone stole some lip gloss. I don't know. Like, would you knowingly date someone with a criminal history?

When you said this to me last night, I was thinking, no, of course not. Like, that is the big, it is literally a glaring red flag. And then I remembered this happened, gosh, it must have been 12 or 13 years ago. I had this high school boyfriend I was visiting my ex in prison I actually turned up to the prison so he was cheating on me with a gun I had this high school boyfriend who was a bit of a bad boy and I was a bit of a goody two-shoes at the time so we were like kind of yin and yang and like it didn't really make sense to a lot of our friends but he was a bit of a bad boy and he was super hot and I really liked him and we kind of like we were high school boyfriend and girlfriend on and

off for a little while anyway fast forward to I don't know when this would have been but it must have been the early stages of me being in I moved to the Gold Coast when I was 18 to go into uni up there and some of the boys had come up to celebrate one of their 21st or something like that but I was a bit younger I can't remember the timeline of when this happened but they invited me to go out with them this one night and one of the people there was my ex-boyfriend from high school and we were still on really good terms because of you know one of my toxic traits is that I'm friends with all of my exes we had this really fun night out and we'd kiss it was a bit of a like you know deja vu a bit of a nostalgic moment so we'd all kind of gone home and I was really surprised the

next day that I didn't get any texts from him and I'd sent him a couple of like I'd sent him one or two messages and I was really confused I was like oh I thought we had something magical well I must have misread this like am I now being ghosted by someone that like I actually feel like I know quite well and like I was really offended by it and I was like well yeah he had his tongue in your mouth like 10 hours earlier you're like where you at quite literally anyway it must have been later in the afternoon and I had got a message from him being like hey Keish I'm really sorry it's taking me so long to reply last night after you went home I got arrested and I was like what happened he apparently had been arrested because he was peeing on the side of like you

You know how when boys are drunk, they can do that? They can just like pee in a laneway or something like that. Yeah, everyone does it. Pee on a tree or whatever. Yeah, yeah. Anyways, public urination is what he got done for. Public indecency. But he also had a bit of a lip on him.

So I wouldn't be surprised if he like got a little bit mouthy with the police officers. They'd put him in whatever the Gold Coast, you know, it wasn't like a full lockup, but he'd been arrested. So he'd been put behind and he had his phone taken off of him and then his phone battery went flat. So it was quite a long process before he could actually reply to me. But that's an interesting choice to let you know that because that could have gone another way.

Hey, Keish, my phone battery died. Hey, Keish, I had to save a kitten. Now, you probably knew that I would need a proper, proper excuse because, of course, I went back and met him that night. So, yes, I actually have dated someone that actually has been arrested. I don't know if you get a criminal record for that. Maybe you do. Well, this is what I wonder, right?

I wonder what level of criminals, because there's such a broad range of criminals. Let's be real. It says criminal history. So I think that could be from like public indecency, could be from like speeding, burglary, like, yeah, I mean, I guess up to probably more severe things. I imagine it's going to be a broad spectrum.

But is this where we're at for like love and dating that it's like the bachelor's dead? The bachelor's gone. It's like we're not – They're trying the golden bachelor. That's coming out soon. Your Prince Charming's gone. We're not looking for that.

We've got a criminal who doesn't want to be a criminal anymore and he's looking for the right person to take him under his wing. Like that's – We've done this to ourselves. All of us basic bitches are obsessed with true crime. We're obsessed with love and dating shows and they've just gone, why don't we put these things together? What is it?

Venn diagram is now a circle. We're putting these into the one show. We're going to see what happens. We've done this to ourselves. Anyway, it's not paid. There's no compensation or contract. Not paid because they might steal it. There is a whole thing about that though.

This is another episode. You and I could talk about this because we're really interested in it. Probably Laura not so much. But, like, there's a whole spectrum of people that are, like, obsessed with dating and marrying people behind bars. Like, it's its own little community and I find it so fascinating. I think there is a show. It's called Love After Lockup.

It's about people who fall in love with incarcerated people in prison. But it's true. Like, we spoke about this when we spoke about the Menendez brothers because they have been in prison for so long. But I think they're both married. I know that at least one of them is married. They were super hot, though. You reckon they've got pretty privilege behind bars.

But, like, these people have fallen in love with them when they've already been behind bars. I think it's different if you know them beforehand and you kind of want to continue your relationship. Yeah, and you know when I think it's different again, I feel like the Menendez brothers, they were young, they were really attractive, their family had money, and it was not as much as they were found guilty.

It was always so ambiguous. Like, it wasn't a really, like, I shouldn't say ambiguous, but there was so much around it. There was context. well there's context of saying they're actually great people who were abused and like i think that's different than somebody that falls in love with like a ted bundy like a serial killer somebody that you know 100 there is zero doubt that they are fucking insane and have done horrific things like so i think it's different when i shouldn't say i'm not making excuses and do what

you want but i think it's different when it's like a bit ambiguous about why the person did what they did and i don't know so i can see somebody falling in love with the menendez brothers more than I can see people wanting to marry Ted Bundy. Brittnest, I went across her video on Instagram the other day and look, frankly, I feel like you've attacked me a little bit because of Bonnie diarrhea-ing in your house today and it's just time for me to return serve. I watched this video. I was like, wow, that's Britt summed up in a nutshell.

And it's about the fact that your toxic traits are the opposite of your love languages. So the video was posted by Emma Page. She is from the Too Much podcast. She was from the Unhinged podcast, if you know about the drama and the fallout of that. But it is titled, Your Toxic Traits Are the Opposite of Your Love Languages. Your toxic traits are actually the exact opposite of your love languages. So for example, never asking for help or hyper independence, toxic trait, love language, acts of service, isolation as a toxic trait, quality time as the love language, avoidance

as a toxic trait, physical touch as a love language. I am hyper independent and I never ask people for help however my love language is acts of service I love to help people crazy from what I could gather I don't know how based in research this is it seems to be a theory but in my mind it kind of seems to check out when I heard about the whole like isolation and avoidance and the love languages being quality time and acts of service the only person I thought of in my life was you it's funny because now I'm trying to think of my toxic traits but I think when you think of your own toxic traits it's different to other people telling you what your toxic traits are like I think often you don't see was that a bit

confronting for you well yeah I'm like what else have I done but you often don't see your own yes toxic traits you know so I would say and you just pointed that out Keish but I would say I'm hyper independent but I never saw that as toxic I'm like is that bad like I thought that is a strength if anything like I don't need you you know it's like not you Keisha I need you but I don't need like my hyper independence I always thought was a positive I didn't know it was classified as a toxic it could be both but I think that along with that particularly before you met Ben and that kind of thing it came alongside being quite an avoidant person you know like I don't need you I will push you away if you get too close to me but does that check out like is quality time

one of your love languages yes it is and i was just thinking about this conversation i had with ben like two weeks ago when i did my skin cancer face burn thing you have to take so many drugs painkillers for it that you can't drive like you're on the endone and the gas and the whatever else they give you so you get you have to have someone drive you much like a fertility appointment you once you've done it like you're egg freezing you someone has to drive you home because you've been on an anesthetic ben had to sit me down and actually say like stop being so independent i was so independent that my friend Claire had to pick me up the first time because I was like hey do you mind picking me up because I can't drive it was two minutes up the road and I felt terrible asking

her she was like yeah of course then I had to go back for another round I felt so bad asking her to pick me up again that I forewent foregoed the drugs so that she didn't have to drive me Ben was like what are you doing I was like Brittany what is wrong with you that's ridiculous I know I know and that's when I realized there's a problem Ben was like you have a problem just ask her for help Britt, I thought my hyper-independence was a strength. I actually forego, I fore... Foregone? I don't know if it's forewent or foregone.

I don't know, forewent, that's better. I forewent pain medication after a pretty painful procedure. Yeah, I vomited in the procedure from the pain. That's because I was like, I would rather drive myself and not take the pain medication. What is wrong with you? So it's funny because that's a moment that you've just reminded me of where I was like, oh, it actually probably is a problem because that backfired on me. Like I should have asked for a two-minute lift rather than go through...

A very painful face burn. I was like, I'll get an Uber. They were like, what? No. You're not getting a bloody Uber. You got an Uber after you got your eggs retrieved because it was my 30th birthday and all of us were at my bottomless lunch and all of us were absolutely blind drunk and we were like, sorry, we can't.

I'm not giving up my 30th birthday celebrations and drinking endless bottomless margaritas to come and collect you. I was like, Keisha, I really need you. And you were like, see ya. You were like, do we have a friend that's my friend and not Keisha's friend? And I was like, no, sorry, I've taken them all. They're all invited. You took everyone I knew to your party.

And I had, maybe that's one of my toxic traits, but I kind of have realized that I think my most toxic trait, I spoke just before about my rejection sensitivity, it can also be called criticism sensitive dysphoria. I definitely have a sensitivity to negative feedback or even what I perceive to be negative feedback. And it has impacted a lot of my life. It also kind of goes alongside with having a harsh inner critic and coincidentally or not, my love language is words of affirmation.

But you know what's interesting about that is like I don't know many people that don't experience it to a level with criticism. Of course. Like somebody gives you criticism, it hurts. You're like, oh, I want you to like me. I want you to have done good work. Yeah, but I'll cry for three weeks. Yeah, but yours was just extreme.

Yeah. Like it's not now. Yeah, because I'm medicated. You're medicated. I'm medicated and I've got a therapist. I can tell when you've got an off-you-man zone. But look, to me this kind of checks out. They said in the caption, how do you prefer to receive love

if it's the opposite of your alleged toxic trait? it may be because you are lashing out from not getting what you truly need to feel fulfilled in relationships or friendships this for me checks out i crave a lot of words of affirmation it is a reassurance to me that the person likes me or that i'm doing the right thing and i kind of have realized that these things are like they're married the love language is the nice side of it my number one love language is physical touch like if i'm in the same vicinity as my husband like i will ben sorry that was weird yeah so when we are in the same vicinity we'll be touching each other every second that we're together so then i guess yeah you can spend an entire weekend without

seeing another human being and only cuddling delilah which was my question which checks out i was like what's the opposite of that and i guess that's like introverted being on your own yeah oh yeah that's like needing space like needing space from people because i will not i could happily not see anyone or speak to anyone touch anyone for a week at a time except i would if it was with ben yeah so then just to reiterate the question how do you prefer to receive love if it's the opposite of your alleged toxic trait it may be because you are lashing out from not getting what you truly need to feel fulfilled in the relationship checks out for me because i'm not getting what i need because ben lives in another country yeah so this is bad news for if you guys end up living

together so you're like ben you need to live downstairs i need to only see you once a week Britt we often talk about pop culture things and I think we also talk about the trends particularly this divide between like millennials and gen z and what's cool and what's not and I think for some of the more recent ones you know like no leggings anymore it's meant to be like loose pants at the gym and I mean I'm a crew socks person but the ankle socks went quite a while ago I've never been able to sit in this like what's cool or what's not cool I've never don't think I've ever been cool like I think I'm I think I just do what I want to do and I if somebody tells me this is a trend I couldn't care less like I will still wear what I want to wear I'm

always going to wear tight and I'll wear whatever socks I want and whatever socks I have that are matching they might be ankle they might be three quarter lengths like whatever I could not care less there's no part of me that gets dressed and lays my socks out and I was like what are the young kids gonna think like I just like I just put if I'm lucky enough to have matching socks I'm putting them on yeah I see a point but I think that I have actually noticed a real shift online in the past I don't know if it's maybe like three years and I know that content develops so quickly like remember back it would only be like five years ago you'd post one photo to instagram and it would be aesthetic and it would be nice and you'd get likes and you'd get comments

and that would be it have a white border yeah then it kind of went into the like a day in a life of there were all these reels i think tiktok really changed the game a lot but now we're kind of seeing a bit more of a shift in like you'll post a carousel of images and some of them and you know you've got to have the right amounts of food and scenery and you know photos of yourself i don't know, there seems to be a bit of an unwritten formula to it. And I've never quite been able to be on the precipice. I kind of just try and survey what everyone else is doing and to some extent, try to keep up. I read a really interesting sub stack the other day. It was titled what the cool girls are quietly doing right now. You won't see it on TikTok yet. It was written by Lauren

Tallulah. And I just wanted to read this first paragraph for you and kind of get your take on a few of the different points of where she has seen a shift in the way that people are turning up online there's a certain type of person who stopped posting used to see her everywhere on your feed in a sponsored instagram story maybe tagged in someone's chaotic ib's a photo dump now she is quiet on the gram she's watching she's kind of thriving and she's definitely doing things differently what used to feel aspirational the matcha the boyfriend the glossyabalm.com in rose is feeling a little try hard now what's cool now is mostly quieter more private weirder it's less about being hot online and more about being at peace in real life and the girls who get it they're

already deep in these trends without even knowing that it's a trend now she went on to list 10 different categories of what everyone who is cool is quietly doing and i wanted to unpack a couple of them not all of them because we'd be here forever so who are we putting into the cool category because like what's cool to you online are we talking about like like high-end fashion influencers are we talking just like the friend that you know that just has a good fashion like Like what's cool? I've got two in my mind. I'm not sure.

It's me and Laura, isn't it? It's me and Laura. What's super cool? Grace Beverly is one of them. And there's a girl called Millie that I follow. She's a UK influencer as well. And I just feel like they're both a bit younger than me. And I feel like they're kind of always posting what is cool.

But Grace is always, can we just sit in Grace for a minute? She's like a girl crush. I have a girl crush on Grace. We've done an episode with Grace Beverly for anyone who wants to go listen to her. She's in the UK. She's a business owner, entrepreneur, fitness, whatever. She does it all. she's got married amazing congratulations grace but she's so such a good example of effortlessly

cool she's not trying i don't think it's effortlessly i don't think it can be i don't think that any of these things are effortless i think they just get it i think she's effortlessly cool in who she is but she works and hustles so hard so there's a lot of effort in that but i think it just comes to her it's so funny i just want to sit in this for a minute there was a couple of weeks ago where i made the comment keisha's trying something new we all laughed it was an new outfit that you wore. It wasn't supposed to be mean. It was a new outfit. And I was like, oh, you've tried something. It was the Oxford shirt from Kmart that went viral because it looks a lot like the Dish one, but it was $25. Yeah. It was like, literally, it wasn't just a

new piece of clothing. It was a new style for you. And I was like, Kisha's trying something new. Anyway, at the end of it, you were like, I got influenced by Grace Beverly. I know. She looks so cool and chic and I don't look cool and chic. You told me I looked like a farm girl. I've not worn it since, okay? I need to donate it. No, it hits different. Grace in London hits different to Keisha in Sydney. It's not – it's okay. Yeah, it didn't work, okay?

I wasn't cool. I tried something different. It didn't work for me. Anyway, let's get to this list. Here's what people who are apparently cool are doing now. They're using LinkedIn like Instagram. Lauren wrote, when I recently decided to jump back on LinkedIn after a very long hiatus from a professional side of my work,

I was shocked by what I saw. LinkedIn was different, like so different. the business girlies were posting soft lit selfies next to team reflections and calling it a personal brand they'll write captions like navigating uncertainty with curiosity just taking a sec to breathe i've always seen linkedin as kind of like a bit of a humble brag platform i have it but i don't really use it i get notifications from it all the time and i don't know how to turn them off i don't really know if i'm the best person to ask because i don't spend much time on there but i can imagine it being very different for people who don't work in

professions like ours. Like, for example, I think it's really easy for you and I to have our own personality on our own Instagram. And it kind of crosses over with work almost to the point where there's no distinction. Well, our work is our personality. They go hand in hand. We're very lucky. Yeah. And I wonder if maybe this side of LinkedIn, it's kind of growing in popularity for people who maybe don't have that crossover as quite as strong, or maybe it would be unprofessional for them to have their personal you know Instagram account posting their work things as well well so I thought I didn't have a LinkedIn and when what I say about that is like I've never used it but apparently no but apparently I do have it because very sporadically I get a message saying someone's

viewed your LinkedIn yeah I don't know if it's a humble brag I think it's okay to go on there and like it's a CV LinkedIn is a CV it's okay to put every single thing that you're good at and every a wardrobe one and your capability is like I would never go onto a platform like that that is business-based and be like what a braggart like it's literally like it's literally their CV but I find it interesting to hear that it's now a place where people are uploading like soft lit selfies yeah that feels like it's turning into an Instagram well I think there's maybe a little bit more of a shift of people using it in a way that we as in you and I might use Instagram like maybe they're really trying to work on this personal branding I think it would be really

important for a lot of professions and if you picture something like a lawyer or a teacher I don't know if a teacher would apply but even a doctor maybe and maybe even marketing like maybe it's just inappropriate for you to have photos of you in skimpy dresses going out and having fun with your friends next to what you're working on at work and something that you're really proud of achieving like I don't really know where the lines for that is in a lot of professions because it's really blurred for hours and always has been I've never been in a job where that hasn't been completely okay to post a friend recently told me I don't know how true it is I'd love to hear from you guys if you have hooked up from LinkedIn but then LinkedIn is like almost turning into a

dating app it's like because it's I guess if people are posting photos like people are posting their network yeah they've also got like this is what you need to get me salary wise like so you can go and like screen someone right they've got your soft lit selfies now you know what they're capable of you know what awards everyone have a salary base range like it's pretty good dating spot right maybe that's the new thing all right the next one is wearing outfits that don't try to be flattering so these are the people that are dressing for themselves not for men not for social media it's loose clothing it's oversized clothing it's clothing that's not deemed to be seen as i hate to say it but like quote unquote flattering or like sexy or sexy or revealing yeah like 100%

i've seen the shift in this i mean we've gone from the bodycon kardashian-esque like everything was fitted that was kind of like 2010s that era to now I wear almost exclusively baggy clothing I can't think of the last time I wore something that was fitted to my body the entire way I go in between like right now I've got a tight shirt on and I've got jeans on but I go between something fitting well yeah but you're not cool so like exactly my point I'm not cool but then I'll go into like an oversized t-shirt with baggy jeans it's like yeah but I think that I have seen a big switching that in the fashion of like oversized t-shirts, oversized jumpers, loose pants. I think that that's definitely in fashion, but again, hard for me to comment because I just do, I just run

my own race. Yeah. I also wonder whether these fashion trends do tend to kind of reflect political landscapes. And there has been like a few articles I've read on this that I've found really, really fascinating. And I think if you think about it in a broader context of like what's going on, particularly in the US at the moment with reproductive freedoms and whatnot, it makes sense to me that there is a pushback you've kind of got the two sides you've got the women who are dressing more like trad wives who are wearing the fitted clothing they're almost like 50s and 60s inspired outfits that are quite preppy and look very feminine and then the pushback to that you've got these big oversized baggy t-shirts and you've got the loose fitting jeans and that is very much

what's in fashion at the moment so look it's not overly surprising to me that there has been a shift in that way okay the last points that I'm kind of going to smoosh two in together one was single and not looking just single on purpose and the other was romanticizing platonic dependence so she said she's not downloading hinge again we've kind of been talking about this it's not the episode she's not joining raya she's not working on being open she is literally so content she's got her flat her girls her skincare her sunday plans she's living by the motto what does a man actually add right now and honestly like i mean we joked at the start of this that if i were to you know not be in the relationship I'm in right now you'd be okay I feel as though I would

find a lot of satisfaction in other aspects of my life and I don't know whether I would be putting myself through the ringer of having to go through the process of like vetting people and you know trying it out and like all of the ups and downs that can come with it I think this is an interesting point because I'm all for the fact and truly believe like you know the friendships are the things that may or may not last forever but they give a different comfort and a different contribution to your life and what you need and what you get out of it. I do not see them being the same thing as a romantic relationship and I don't think they provide the same thing.

Now it's not to say that like a romantic relationship and a platonic soulmate don't both bring you immense comfort and love and satisfaction and everything else, contentment. But I do think that they're different. But what I do like and I truly think and I used to hate when people say it to me but I got to this point and I think that's when I met Ben when you get to the point that you don't want to be on the apps and you don't want to put the effort in anymore and you're not actively looking you're like do you know what actually I am really

happy on my own and I'm happy with my friends and I'm happy going out and I don't want to go and curate another dating profile and put my prompts in and go through that I think that that is a really amazing place to be in that so many women are in now but I think that that shouldn't mean that you close off to dating like I just think that that's a really great place to be but you're still open to finding that person and it hits different when you don't need them but you want them like you don't need a man or a woman or a partner you just you're so content and living your best life that when they come they are an added addition like an extra spice but you're not you know yeah I do see a point I think that as I'm getting older I think that I'm realizing that

the main thing I get out of a relationship is companionship and if I wasn't able to get that from my romantic partner and I definitely get things out of my platonic friendships that I don't get from my partner like it's not like I expect every one of my needs to be met by a partner but I'm realizing that companionship is actually really really really up there with things that are going to bring me life satisfaction and I really like the fact that we have seen this shift in a lot more women speaking about the fact that they are so comfortably single it's not single as like hear me roar it's peace it's comfort it's like I'm actually genuine Elizabeth Gilbert is the perfect example of this she is a better she said herself I'm a better person single I'm a better

person when I'm not chasing something from someone else and I'm currently reading her latest book and it's talking about a lot of this kind of thing towards the end and I just really like it I actually feel as though we have seen a definite shift from what we would have seen even five years ago. And I think that that's actually really, really good for people who are in this phase themselves. Well, the last one that I wanted to comment on is very self-indulgent, but we didn't write the article. She did. Lauren did. It's listening to podcasts that feel like illicit group chats. So she goes on to say, this new cool girl doesn't want a crisp 30-minute productivity podcast. She wants three chaotic women interrupting each other for 90 minutes,

which hits home. She wants audio mess, overanalyzing, side tangents, and talk of petty drama, bad sex and elite gossip. All the drama, just not her drama. These are the new digital best friends. These are the voices in our own head after all. Now I love that she said that because that's our business, but it's so true. Maybe we should change the website, change the tagline of Life Uncut. It literally sounds like we wrote that, but I think that's perfect. And at the end of the day, we, I mean, I'm not, again, I'm not speaking for Laura, but I always wanted to create a podcast that I wanted to listen to. And this is, these are the things that I listened And we finally got there.

We got there. But these are the things that I listen to. Six years later. It's the talking shit and the banter and having fun and wanting to create a space where you listen to girlfriends talk. Like some of my favorite podcasts to listen to are exactly that. They're just chaotic women who sometimes don't talk about anything. Sometimes you're just getting some laughs from them and some relaxation where your brain

doesn't have to think anymore. And they're the podcast that I love. And I think that it is having a real moment because the world is pretty serious right now and the world's very dark. And as much as you still want to go to those self-help podcasts and you still want to go to the serious things, I still like listen to the news podcasts in the morning, but I want that reprieve as well. And I think that that's a reflection of where we are in society.

I mean, obviously I can only speak from my own perspective. I'm a sample study of one, but I used to listen to a lot of Mel Robbins and this is before she was massive. Okay. I used to listen to Mark Manson was my favorite podcast. I listened to Mel Robbins. I listened to a lot of the whole like self-optimization and that kind of thing. and I don't know I don't want to say it got repetitive maybe I just got to a point where

I was like you know what I feel like I've done a bit of work on myself I'm going to give myself a bit of a break and you are right it's kind of gone alongside when things in the world have gotten absolutely fucked like so horrible that I'm like I don't know if I can keep tapping into this news in the same way that I used to I used to think it was like a responsibility especially for what we do for work that I had my finger on the pulse of everything that was happening yeah and now I'm realizing that it's so exhausting and there is a huge part of me that just takes so much delight it's really interesting I'll open up my podcast library I listen on apple podcast so it comes up with the pictures and I'll really survey my mood of what I feel like and more and more now I'm

clicking on things like giggly squad like my therapist ghosted me like things that are just bringing me a little bit more comedic relief whereas before I would have listened to those after I'd listened to the other self-help or the like you know newsy ones I don't know. I really found this whole sub stack interesting. Obviously there were 10 points. We didn't go through all 10. So we'll link it in the show notes if you want to read the whole thing. But I have felt myself that there has been a shift in the way that people are turning up online. I also think that they're turning up less. I think that there's almost like a, you know, they've got to be a bit more strategic about it. And that's probably as

a result of the way that algorithms work, that if you're posting so much, things are going to get lost because the algorithm's like, eh, no one's engaging with that. We're going to suppress it or whatever it might be. When she said the thing about, you know, they're more quiet and they've found peace, I tend to agree. I think that she's pretty bang on with it. The only thing I would say is like, who cares what's cool? I was like, just do you. If you want to wear tight clothes, baggy clothes, if you want to post or not post, I was like, use LinkedIn. If you want to fuck on LinkedIn, do it. We're not here to yuck anyone's yuck. Hey guys, that is it from us. We have to get going. If you haven't gone and subscribed on

YouTube or liked anything or commented, please go and do that for us. If you are a listener, it is something that we're really trying to focus on. We're not posting quietly on YouTube. Okay. We're really trying there. We're not being cool with it. We're actually really trying. And there's so much content on there and it is a real focus for us right now. It's an evolution of Life Uncut and it's really important. So if you have been a listener for us, we used to ask you to do this when we wanted reviews. Oh, if you haven't left a review in a while, you can go do that. But it's something that's important and you're not going to know it's important if we don't tell you. So go and have a look. It's a lot of fun to watch it. Speaking of being cool and

things that are going to be like more and more popular, I read a stat the other day that in the last year, more people watched YouTube than what watched Netflix. And they kind of broke down the reasons that it could be. There has been a shift in the way that we want to view content, but there's also, you know, when you get a brand new TV and the buttons that are kind of already programmed on there you'll usually have netflix you'll usually have youtube they said that that contributes to a lot of the viewership of those things and i don't know what deals must have been made with those companies to make sure that their button was on there i can imagine it would be in the billions but because you have to pay for a subscription for netflix and they're going up and

up and up more people are turning to youtube because it's free yeah and our youtube is free too we don't have a subscription model yeah so go and follow it please um and can you please keep sending your accidentally unfiltered really important and your ask uncuts just send them to instagram life uncut podcast you'll always be anonymous we will not even look at your profile unless you want us to you can be like hey look at me but we we like really respect your privacy but if you could send those in any aftermaths or follow-ups you have if we've ever answered one of your ask uncuts we want to be putting some more aftermath questions together and you know the drill tell your mom tell your dad tell your friends and share the love because we love love