Life Uncut - It's Your Confessions Week! Valentines Day, Being Mooned and Can You Vent About Your Partner?

Episode Date: February 11, 2025

Hey Lifers, First up, please vote to save Matt in the jungle here!Laura is slightly concerned about Lola's 'spontaneity' if they end up being sent to South Africa to be there for the final of I'm a celeb. She's developed a new way to release her rage 🌙. Britt has asked one of us to be a very important person involved in her wedding, but it's not Laura... Laura knows exactly why she wasn't asked. If you had the option of seeing your friend's wedding dress before their wedding day without their permission, would you take a sneak peak? Be honest!It's valentine's day this week. We're here to celebrate all of the Valentines, the galentines, the palentines and the ... dogentines. Would you rather a 'traditional' valentines gift like flowers, chocolates etc, or something more 'practical'?Do you think it's okay to vent to your friends about your partner? We unpack what Jake said to Ashleigh on MAFS about 'breaking the trust' after she went to speak with one of the other contestants about some of the horrible things he said about other women during the photo ranking challenge. We speak about what makes it okay to vent and what makes it a bit of a betrayal to your partner. You can watch us on Youtube Find us on Instagram Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! XxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This episode was recorded on Camaragal land. Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. Hi Brittany. I'm happy to be here. We are recording this slightly early this week. Yeah, which I know that that makes no difference to anyone else. But the reason for that is because I may not be here if you all continue to vote for my husband. Yeah, there we go. We did open with it.

We just prepped the episode and we were like, okay, so let's not start with voting for Matt. We'll ease into that. And then we're two seconds in. We're like, vote for Matt. Laura wants to go to Africa. Britt was like, please, can we just, let's talk about the wedding dress or like we've got other things on the list.

Lola mooning me, Valentine's Day. There's quite a few things. And I was like, I think I need to get the vote for Matt in early so that way I really have a hot chance of going to Africa next week. I do love that we had the discussion and Laura's like, no, I agree. And then we're like, hi, guys. And she goes, Africa, Matt, vote 10 times. link. We'll put the link in the show notes. You can vote on 10 play. Anyway, Britt, you went wedding

dress shopping this week. If you're not up to date on the wedding dress saga thus far, it's not a saga. Britt's having a great time. I don't know if that's a term I'd use. Well, the saga is more a saga for us internally because you haven't shown anyone the dress. You're keeping it completely to yourself. That was a choice that I made. Yes. But to the extreme, because often people take like one person Britt's going to every wedding dress appointment by herself well I went at the start my friend Kim came who's you know she's one of my really good friends she is also has been like my stylist for a couple of years just because she's my friend we met on the bachelor many years ago so she came at the start like the first few meetings but she hasn't come since it's been

made so she hasn't seen it either so Kim was actually the stylist on the bachelor and that's how you guys became friends and now as much as your best friends she also styles you for pretty much everything anyway so it makes sense that you would take her yeah I don't want people to think that I have a stylist like on my books because I absolutely do not I'm very lucky that I have a friend that happens to be a stylist that has style but yeah so the saga is not a saga but I did go last week no no it's a saga for me because I want to know I want to be included yeah Laura hates not having control and like she doesn't know what the dress is she doesn't know anything about it big small tight fluffy loose high neck turtleneck backless like you don't know anything

the problem is is because I've seen constrictor feathers no I've seen all of your reference images and the issue is is that every single thing you've just described is in your reference image so I'm pretty sure your dress is all of the above that's what I'm expecting there's three it's an amalgamation of everything yeah you're gonna walk down the aisle looking like you're in The Masked Singer. No, it's good. That's the next reality TV show that Fritz is doing, everyone. I think we can safely say I'm never going on The Masked Singer.

We know that I can't sing. I have the voice of a dying cat. No, imagine actually I am walking down the aisle, but it's one of those dresses where it depends on the angle you look at. It's like an illusion. Like it's a different dress on each angle. Like the back corner is one dress. You mean like one of those cars that's that metallic paint

and it depends on the light that you're in, what colour you see? No, so I had my like quote unquote final fitting. So it's not the final fitting, but it's the first time I saw my dress done. There's obviously things to change, like hems and putting things on and taking things off, like fine tuning. But it was the first time I actually put it on and I just love it. Like I just love it and I just can't wait to see it. And I – so spilling the beans here.

Like we actually did have a private moment, Laura, Keisha, and myself a couple of days ago where like I sat them down and I said, I need to ask you something. And I also love that the first response was, hang on, should we save it for the podcast? And I was like, no, this is a real moment. This is like a real life moment because Keisha and Laura aren't my bridesmaids, which I know and I wasn't Laura's bridesmaid. And I know a lot of people don't understand that because from the outside, we are all

so tight, but it's, it's different when you're not actually, we don't, yeah, we don't actually like each other. No, but it's different because we love through the tears. well like Laura and I have been business partners and friends for years but when you choose to only have two or three you know there are lifelong friends there are siblings there are it's just different and so we all understand that but a lot of the lifers didn't understand that well we've had so many conversations over the years around it for me in my situation I had four bridesmaids and all of my bridesmaids were people that I was made of honor for their weddings and also they

were or every single one of them I've known for more than 10 years so like they were like long long I was like four years off the committee yeah and I was like sorry Brit but also like you you signed my wedding certificate like you played a really important role in my wedding and like was included in all the things I didn't I made it not legal accidentally no it's still legal you just put a smiley face on there so it was super un-fucking-necessary but there's a reason for it there's a reason why I was like oh that's the only job I'm giving her on the day I literally signed her wedding certificate I didn't know I couldn't do it and then I put a smiley face and like a kiss at the end Laura's like you you can't that's it forever and I was

like sorry I didn't realize it was such a big thing anyway no it's not like getting your university certificate it's not like anyone frames it and puts it on their wall yeah I've never I don't even think I've seen it I don't know where it is do you know what I did to mine by accident you know how when you get married no my degree oh I didn't realize one day you know when you got to start a ballpoint pen you got to roll it around to get it going one time I was trying to get a pen going so I could write something and I was like that texture feels weird and I moved the other things around I've drawn scribbles to get this pen going on my actual degree and I was like well I don't use it anyway that's so funny you never look at them anyway unless you're a doctor

no congratulations they do but I I don't even know where mine is irrelevant so yeah so I've got three bridesmaids and they're all my sister my lifelong friends like it just you guys just didn't fit sorry in the nicest way possible I didn't want a huge bridal party yeah we get it babe yeah and no I'm not explaining to you guys I know you know I'm just letting everyone else know but I did sit them down and I said like you guys know that I'm having a small bridal party and unfortunately you didn't make the cut but you are my closest people and like you are my besties and I want you to still be a part of the day and I want you to be there with me getting ready for me but then you just have to take your seat like you don't get to go sit out the front I'm

gonna say something here which may be controversial i think that if you are a very close friend who doesn't have to be a bridesmaid it gets to do all the things that the bridesmaids do you are the fucking elite friend because being a bridesmaid sucks it's so much work it's so expensive it doesn't suck for my bridesmaids because i've made it as easy as possible i have no expectations of anyone i'm making sure everything's organized for them i'm not like yes they're flying there but i'm paying their accommodation there i'm paying their dresses I'm painting their hair and make, like, there's not, I want nothing from them. And I made that choice.

I don't want anyone to feel the pressure. But so I asked the girls if they would come on the day and do everything like they're part of it. And I started crying and it was a really emotional moment. And then Keisha brought up the fact that I had secretly asked Keisha to do this huge favor for me. I asked Keisha if she would actually be in charge of taking my wedding dress to my wedding. Yeah, this is where the real – this is a point of contention

in our friendship group. I don't care about the bridesmaid request, but the dress? Interesting. Also, Keisha's as big as the dress. She's not going to be able to carry it. It actually is a big responsibility, I've realised. Yeah, it is. And I'm not particularly reliable, so I'm curious as to why I was chosen.

As long as you definitely take your ADHD medication that week. I feel safe. It's like you are taking it to Bali, right? Keisha gets to the airport and she's forgot to pack it. I would not be surprised. I feel like I'm missing something. Toothbrush, yelp. Wedding dress, fuck.

No, I asked Keisha to take my wedding dress because I'm actually not coming from Australia. I'm going to be gallivanting around the world for a while and I can't be taking my dress over. So I was like, who out of my friends can I trust? And no offense, Laura, but Keisha's name came before yours. It's because you know I will look. Like I will look. You've left really important things on your car a lot. They've flown off as you're driving.

You lose everything. Guys, the other day we were walking to work and I was like, fuck my phone. And Keisha was like, yeah, it's in the console in the car. And I got back to the car and, no, it was not in the console. It was on the roof. I just left it on the roof of the car. You leave a lot on the roof actually.

Yeah, it's because like when I have full hands, I like to put some things on the roof and then I like to just walk away from it. But that's, we're joking. That's not it. Just pitch in Prince of Wedding dress on the roof. The Sydney Harbour Bridge on the way. It's just like flying through the air.

No, it's not that I think you would forget it. I absolutely know you would get my address there if you had to. But I would look. But I know that you would look. I don't trust you in that way. I would take a little peek. You would, wouldn't you? Yeah, 100%.

You probably tried on. Who wore it better? She posted the following day. 100%. That's what you do. I just don't trust you not to peek. We once had someone wrote in on Ask Uncut and she walked in on her mother-in-law trying on her wedding dress.

Her husband-to-be had let his mum try on his soon-to-be wife's wedding dress and, Britt, that would be me. I'll do it. Oh, that's for free to unpack. I'd get Matt to watch the door. That's so weird. It's so funny. It's so weird.

And she, Matt, watch the door. Make sure Britt doesn't come. So that is why I chose Keisha. Yeah, I understand. Don't be personal. Also, it was a choice as a friendship choice in terms of like you are hierarchy I get it no yeah that sucks because you have been on the scene two to three years longer than Keisha but irrelevant she puts in the groundwork though no it was a favor as well

because my sister's traveling too and I said to Sherry I would love you too but she's traveling with a baby you're traveling with two kids when you've got kids and all of their stuff that you're traveling with as well it's too much to then put a potentially small or gigantic wedding dress into your luggage so a potentially small or gigantic three wedding dresses into your luggage multiple outfit changes am I going to carry this no I actually don't think I'm going to be able to take any luggage over with me am I because I'm just going to be lugging you're going to need a cart and potentially oversized luggage well okay well speaking of like luggage and how carrying things and all this this is a nice segue into me talking about Africa okay okay you're allowed

Thank you. Thank you. I really have been trying to hold this one in for a while. So if Matt makes it through to the final, I will get to go to Africa with the girls. But it is like a blast trip. Like I would have to fly over there, get the girls over there, and then we would do like the reunion, yay, everyone's back together,

and then get on a flight and come home. The problem is is that the flight is horrific. It's like you fly from Sydney to Singapore, have a layover, Singapore to Johannesburg, Johannesburg to – spritz or something in the middle of nowhere right it's like a little jungle town and it's all through the night so their Singapore layover is like middle of the night with two kids so I potentially if he's doing well and everything goes well I will potentially get a call up like with 24 hours notice I will have to rally the kids and be on a plane I actually feel for you

I don't know how I am going to do essentially like 24-hour international flight by myself with two kids with only a one hour layover in Singapore and get them from one part of the airport to the other. I've got an idea. Put them in a wedding dress bag and drag them along the ground. Just drag them. You're going to need to do the phone ahead where, you know, when you get off the plane, there's always people waiting with like the little carts. You're going to have to have a cart. I got my mum a cart. Did you? Yeah. My mum and I got a cart because we didn't have a, we didn't have a very long layover. So we had to get on a cart. Not a wheelchair. I didn't put her in a wheelchair with, like, scooters.

We had to get there. I'm not worried about anything except for Lola. Like, she's the wild card of our family. I have no idea how she's going to go. Marley, fine. Suitcases, predictable. Pram, also predictable. Lola, like, who knows how that's going to go.

And she's going through this phase at the moment. Hear me out. So she's got this new thing that she does when she's really mad. So firstly, she used to go through a phase where she would hit me and now she's stopped hitting me. That's great. because we had a big conversation about how you can't hit mummy, like, you know, mummy doesn't hit you, you can't hit mummy.

Like an anger response. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like when she's so filled with rage she wants to hurt someone, usually it's me, and she's stopped doing that now. But now what she's started doing is she's so filled with rage that she strips naked and moons me. So she is butt naked, like pulling her butt cheeks apart and screaming. Oh, she pulls them.

You get the full bird's eye view. you and all i'm imagining is being midnight in singapore airport with a kid with no pants on screaming at me mooning me where does that come from like has she seen that like that's a real a really particular thing to be like i'm gonna moon mom like i'm gonna moon you know what i'm so angry i'm gonna pull my pants down and bend over like that is a real commitment to the anger have you never been so angry that you just wanted to bend over and pull your butt cheeks oh you should see ben and i when i fly he takes it as an all as an offer he's like that was quick makeup moon straight straight down the camera i don't i don't know where it comes from it comes from like

this inability to get the rage out and so yeah it just gets naked and moons me and i can't respond to it because if i get angry or i get like if i even say anything all i'm doing is reinforcing that she's gotten a reaction from me so i have to just walk away and then i start laughing because it's so ridiculous you can't let her see you laugh either of course not it is the most ridiculous thing i've ever experienced my child is so angry at me that she rips her pants off and moons me but imagine how many relationships would be solved if that's the way you solved a fight like i actually think there's something in it by my four-year-old but imagine if you guys were fighting you and matt and then he just pulled his pants down and bent over the fight would be

over because she'd be like she'd be like it's actually really funny i think that this could be like a conflict resolution i think i'd get the ick for my husband are we gonna do a social experiment the next time everybody argues. I'm going to do it. Next fight I have with Ben, I'm just going to bend over. The next fight I have with you, Britt, I'm just going to bend over. We both do it though. We're both looking over our shoulder.

We're just like fighting back and forth with our butt. And I'm just here going, we need a fucking HR department ace. Keisha's like SOS. I don't know how parents are in moments like that. I don't know how you have the self-control not to erupt with laughter. like I don't know how you're able to in not just situations like that but any situation where you know you have to not react I don't know how you control yourself when things are that funny no because you're also mad at the same time you know like I'm like if she's yelling at me and

getting like frustrated and then she moons me like yes it definitely dissolves the situation quite fast but I'm still annoyed that we've gotten to a point of this you know what I mean so like I don't feel like super joyful. I'm like, ah, that's funny, Lola. I walk away and I do laugh, but I'm like, oh, this kid is testing me. Yeah, but surely that's a de-escalation from like hitting physically. Like surely it's a better thing. I would rather be mooned than be smacked in the face.

Probably depends where you are though. Imagine if you get onto the I'm a Celebrity final and she's so mad, she just moons the live TV. She's like, fuck this. This is the problem. If she hasn't had enough sleep, it's a very big possibility. So we shall see. Everyone keep watching.

Also, please vote. Like just go and vote. If you haven't voted, I'll beg you. Britt will give you a puppy. Just vote, vote, vote. I've been giving puppies out for years. Years. From you.

I will give a puppy out. Matt will. No, we do want to see him at the end. So do vote. And we want to see you in South Africa. That would be fun. Thank you. I want to see me in South Africa.

I want to go on a safari. I deserve it. It's actually incredible. I think I deserve it. So like don't bother voting for him. It's a vote for Matt. It's a vote for me. Everyone.

The link is in the bio. So go and vote. This is a vote for Lola's butthole. Well, just in case you don't know, and I don't want to rub this in for any of the single people that don't have a Valentine, but it's Valentine's Day on Friday. Man, that comes around quick, doesn't it? Yeah, but it doesn't matter if you're single. Then you have Galentine's.

Yeah. So you can celebrate with your bestie. Or Palentine's, like a pal. Yeah. Or Dogentine's. You can celebrate with your dog. But it is Valentine's Day. And since I've been with Ben the last two Valentine's,

three Valentine's Day. Dogentine should happen. Did you see how I was like, we're really getting into grey territory there. I definitely tried to brush over it, but you brought it back. Oh, I didn't mean bestiality. I just meant like spend a day with your dog. Oh, my God. We can't even talk about that.

That's another thing. We'll get into it. No, I don't think we can. We should not. Nothing here. It's just something we heard on the grapevine. I think we need to be like nothing, no bestiality here. but happy valentine's everyone happy doggentines it's valentine's day if you're listening to this

on wednesday it's valentine's day in two days time but i am a lucky woman to have been as my partner like he's always been so romantic and he since i have met him because we're long distance he always like has been that person that sends me different kinds of gifts not even for valentine's day he'll send me things just to say i'm thinking of you like the cutest things he sent me giant blown up cards before there's just a picture of us that he blew up just to say I love you like he's such a sweet guy I've just had a flashback I think it was two years ago but I can't be sure you and I were driving in the car on the way to work and we were talking about Valentine's presents and you and I were both saying what we hated and you were saying box flowers and I was

saying teddy bears I was like it's really childlike so strange why would you get someone that you love and then you got home to box flowers in the shape of a teddy bear yeah yeah they were like dried and meant to last for a year that was a really low point for me so I accidentally did shoot on a particular kind of present and that is what Ben had already ordered me so there was a moment well that has set the tone for our future Valentine's Day so I did get an early Valentine's Day present from Ben I guess when you send presents from overseas you can't really work out the day that they're going to get there so it came a couple of days early guess what I got roses which is also pretty triggering after being on the bachelor i got an entire care package

of supplements supplements i got multivitamins and iron oh no i got collagen yep i got a giant protein powder wait but did it come in the shape of a rose that's the important thing it was teddy bear protein powder no i got a giant protein powder protein bars then i got amino acids that apple flavor. Then I got sent collagen. I got magnesium for recovery. And then I got creatine with a note that said, Hey baby, creatine is really important for women and their brain function. Brain function specifically. He has researched that I need brain function help and put a supplement package together and sent it. And I couldn't stop laughing because I was like, this is not what I was expecting, but low key, it's the best Valentine's day present I've

ever received I think it is a very thoughtful one considering that you're training a lot for Dancing with the Stars so I'm for it you're gonna use that more than you're gonna use a giant dried teddy bear flower like that's just that just screams I don't know you also just I just remembered the best part about the teddy bear flowers was that he paid extra to have them last longer so that you could you'd have them for like up to six months and Brittany threw them away and he was like hey how are those flowers going and you were like they died but they hadn't died and that's how you got sprung sorry Ben but I just thought that was if anyone's like thinking of Valentine's Day presents I think it's really cool to maybe think outside the box and

not necessarily be overly romantic for me I was like this is actually so thoughtful like every single thing he bought me it actually cost a lot to buy that stuff for yourself and it's thoughtful because I evidently need some brain help but I need recovery help yeah I don't know I have conflicting feelings about Valentine's Day because obviously on one hand I work in retail and the creation of Valentine's Day was to help boost economy and help boost retail. You know what's a good gift? Tony May jewelry.

Yeah, Tony May. Swipe up, swipe up. Both my husband and also. You get a puppy with a necklace. Tony May, hashtag. No, but it was, right? Like so, I mean, this is probably a bit too much information, but statistically across retail, February is a very low month for sales.

There isn't any event apart from Valentine's Day and you've just gone through the massive sales of Black Friday, of Christmas. you've then had your boxing day sales and January is kind of a bit of a no man's land like everyone's still on a high from Christmas but then there isn't anything that gives you an uplift in retail sales apart from Valentine's Day so it was really created as a commercial holiday I guess and for me I'm like okay it's nice it's nice to have a day to like celebrate your partner blah blah blah blah but so much of the products that you can buy around Valentine's Day are just so deeply naff

like naff looking flowers naff looking cards for me i'm kind of like it's nice to do something special but i also have a bit of a like an ick to the complete consumerism around absolute junk that's going to end up in a landfill very shortly afterwards like i hate it hence the protein powder really yeah yeah creatine that's what every woman wants who doesn't want brain function yeah on a saturday morning such a back-ending compliment though isn't it do you know something that we are going to talk about which does also kind of link into brain function well no it doesn't link into brain function it links into love and it links into love because it has something to do with maths we used to do a segment on this pod like forever ago called confessionals

and it was as much of a like staple as what accidentally unfiltered is and I received a couple of messages in the last week and one of them in particular which was like hey what happened to confessionals like they just disappeared one day and you guys stopped doing them I also got the same message so she really wanted it back guys i got it too she wanted to make sure that confessionals came back i think we've all been creatine deficient we've forgotten about it all right well there's one person who desperately wanted confessionals to come back so sally 202 this is for you no we weren't thinking about it and we were talking about it in our whatsapp group that we have and some of the confessionals that we used to have come in bought it on illegal to

absolutely hilarious and it was such a fun segment that we used to do on the show so we're going to bring it back in light of maths in celebration of like the abomination and whatever whatever we're going to call maths and whatever it is this year we are bringing back confessionals and we both did individual call outs on our socials do you feel like this is just going to be indicative of like who's following small fucked up like because we've both put in for the confessionals yours and mine no there are some things that I cannot read out that you guys confess to because they are illegal or they are like so morally corrupt that I was like I can't even read this out and then laugh about it because i feel so deeply uncomfortable for anyone who's wondering that joke that we

made a couple minutes ago surrounding bestiality is in reference to confession yes yes so there is a line and some of you crossed it but that's okay we like we said we listen and we don't judge i judge that the only thing i want to say on the bestiality before we get cancelled is not that this makes it i don't know it doesn't make it better it wasn't penetrative so like otherwise we don't know because otherwise i would have reported it if you're fucking an animal don't tell me because i'm gonna report you like i will report you that's our line how proud should we all be of ourselves that that's the line of moral obligation i think it's important because like we do these call outs for confessionals part of the so that

the benchmark is that you're completely anonymous we'll read them out we'll all have a giggle but you know you can kind of like absolve your sins tell us what you tell us what you've done it doesn't mean that you're not going to hell but it just means you got it off your chest however if we did receive something that was in completely morally bankrupt and actually needed to be reported like illegal of course we would so like i know we make jokes but like let's just get that out in the open let's do this but i did get some cooked ones i'm gonna kick this off so here are your confessionals when my husband goes down on me i think of his dad i'm not even that attracted to his dad but it always makes me come fast you should i think you are attracted to the dad

You should never tell your husband that That's not recoverable I'm calling bullshit You don't think about someone's dad if you're not attracted to him There's some daddy I just think about your dad Tony, I'm kidding I'm kidding, I'm kidding

My dad listens to this I'm joking She saw an opportunity, she took it You're never going to be able to meet Tony in the flesh She's picking him up for Dancing with the Stars in like a week She's taking him to the concert Well, it's going to be a fun night for you after that, isn't it? I said sorry, Keisha.

My mum's there as well. Okay. Okay. I am never going to get that image out of my head, Keisha. I caught my father-in-law on camera. Wow, another – sorry. I didn't even plan that. I caught my father-in-law on camera sniffing and licking my sex toys.

You should hear his reason. Then she did a dot, dot, dot, and she didn't tell me. And I wrote back and I said, what's the reason? Let me see if she's written back right now. She caught her father-in-law sniffing and licking her vibrator. I am. Report it. This is happening live.

She's typing live. I've written back to her and said, oh, my God, what is his reason? I need to know. It's the typing. I feel sick. I'm not well. Guys, is the anticipation killing you? It's been typing for a bit.

Oh, my God, I actually want to cry. Oh, my God, are you? you are saying like his reason that means that she's confronted him about it and asked him why did she walk in on it like i'm she caught him on camera so she's obviously confronted him and said like why were you licking my sex toys but what reason do you come from that i thought it was a lollipop okay oh my god this is happening live we've got the sex toy message i'm reading this for the first time his reason for doing it no he knew that they were there aka he admitted that he had gone through my wardrobe before like this basket is high out of reach out of sight of

children or anyone for that matter so he's known that they're there because he knew they were there the curiosity just got the better of him so so he said that no he said that his reason was just he was curious as to what her sex toys smelled like he just said that oh it's honestly the most horrendous situation i've been put in and i got told i had to forgive him because i was putting a rift in the family she told the whole family so she got gaslighted she got victim blamed she got dildo sniffing victim blamed by her stepdad that is the most messed up story i don't know being told you just had to get over that you just have to get over it because you're causing a problem in this family not him breaking into your room and sniffing your sex toys like you could

never sit around a christmas dinner table again could you wow wow i'm never going to be the same person that i was before we did this and this is maybe why we stopped doing this segment i i think it was i would get the ick let's like nut this out for a second not not the right term let's not nut this out i would get the ick if i found like my partner secretly sniffing my sex toys like that yeah if you found out that ben sniffed your sex toys you'd have the ick from him would you leave if there was a camera in my room it's different if like you were you were getting into it and you he was using the sex toys and you're in it and then he like licked it for some i don't know if If that was a thing, you'd be like, okay, I get that that's maybe a sexual kink.

But it's different when it's like a secret. Like if there was a secret. Oh, if you saw Matt creeping in when you weren't there, getting that butt plug off the. Don't have a butt plug. But thank you. What was on? Yeah, you had a butt plug. Cock ring.

Oh, cock ring. Okay, sorry. He snipped his own cock ring. Good for him. If you saw him. That wouldn't give you the if? No, not really. I'd just be a bit like, why?

We wash it afterwards. It smells like dead hole. Why'd you sniff that? The Dettol's downstairs in the cupboard. It's disgusting. Go sniff the Dettol. Okay, continue on. Okay.

One time I was dating this guy who I know had cheated on me, so I did a dump in his kitty litter tray. Oh, I got the same one. No, actually, mine wasn't cheating. I took a dump in the guy I was seeing's cat litter box. Why? I asked her. I love, I'm really following up on the confessionals.

Why? I said, I need context. Why? Were you breaking up? Was the toilet in use? She said, oh my gosh, well, we were sleeping together on and off and fast forward eight months in and we were back to being on again and I was trying to keep up the sex appeal.

And so instead of making a massive splash in the toilet bowl when I took a shit, I thought it would be better to do it in the catty litter box. In the kitty litter box? No, none of that makes sense. I decided that it wouldn't make any noise. So off I went and took a shit there while he was asleep. I put some of the litter on top.

She left it in there. No, she left it. Why wouldn't you put it in the toilet with the scoop? She put the litter on top and just covered it. I'm sorry, a cat doesn't do a human-sized shit. He's going to know. He's going to know. Well, she reckons he woke up the next morning, saw it,

picked it up with gloves, was like, whoa, that's a big poo, and then put it in the bin. She reckons he didn't know. This can't be true. How big is your cat? Is it a lion? If it's doing a poo, like a human-sized poo? This can't be true.

I think it's true. Wait, sometimes I feel self-conscious about Buster because Buster, this is too much information busters poos are so gigantic that they look like a human poo and like every so often if there's one in the backyard or something i worry that a visitor is gonna think i've just gone out and had a nature poo if i had any friend that i would think would do that it was probably me it's probably a bush poo all right okay next one i wipe my son's toilet training potty with my husband's towel because he is useless and incapable of doing it no you should just leave your husband that's just if you're putting shit on your no i think what you do

because like when you have a kid's potty you just rinse it and then you tip it into the toilet so there's no there's no poo or wee in it but it's just like the water is in it but it's obviously contaminated it's definitely not clean no dead all in that yet and she's just then wiped the inside out with his towel you should just if you feel that strongly about your husband like leave him i think or go to therapy this one's sad he just keeps getting pink eye infections and wondering why i know after 12 years of faking it i came once last year after sorry i know after 30 minutes of oral sex and now i'm just obsessed good for you with what what do you mean you're obsessed with with coming so it's like something just got unlocked no it's only happened once i think

to me i read that as like i understand that as for the first time it happened and now i'm obsessed with it so i think there's been subsequent ones yeah because 12 years is that's a long time it's big faking commitment also do you tell him after 12 years that that was the first time he probably no he's like that's different what happened he's like why are you screaming maybe it's a different person potentially good for you oh maybe maybe we're happy that you're living your best life when i was a kid i accidentally sat on my friend's guinea pig and i killed it i never told her the truth and i acted totally dumb when she found it she's lived with this lie her whole life you sat on a guinea pig i think you have to live with that lie yeah if it's a complete accident have

you heard mitch churi's story what did he do like our radio mitch churi he had a pet guinea pig and he decided that he wanted it to be free like live freely which is great in theory in terms of like it was a free range guinea pig they're not wild animals though they belong in cages no but he wanted it to feel like it was free so he built like a huge area in their backyard for it so that it felt like it was a free-range guinea pig, but they didn't put a canopy on it. So they just put a little fence around the outside. It had no ceiling.

And they were watching it out the back one day, and they watched it happen live. A hawk, like a seahawk eagle, came down and just picked it up and took it away in front of him. He was like traumatised. That's natural selection. I was like, what did you think was going to happen when you had a free-range guinea pig?

You were asking for it. Anyway, rest in peace. Okay, my accident baby wasn't an accident. I did it on purpose. No, no, that's no. Very bad. Yep, she did. You can't baby trap someone and then expect them to be.

You did. Turned out well for me. She said it was the best decision she ever made. Okay. I put laxatives in my boss's coffee every single day because I can't stand the guy. Imagine your PA putting laxatives in your coffee and thinking you've got something wrong with your bowels.

They probably think they've got bowel cancer. Or you've just made him regular. And so when you stop being his PA, he's going to be super constipated and wondering why. No, I think that man's got loose bowels at about 11 o'clock every day and he doesn't know why. That's what's happening here. I want to finish with the rankest one and then we're going to save

and we're going to have to save some because they're too disgusting. I know this is bad, but when I was an apprentice, 16, me and the other apprentice used to chop up our toenails and add it to our really mean manager's tabooly lunch. She never found out. She just thought it was crunchy. No, no, you would know. you would know that there's toenails in your

tabbouleh. Not if you cut off real fine. That's a tabbouleh. It's a tabbouleh. Well speaking of mass confessionals there was something that happened this week on the show that I'm actually still not 100% sure how I feel about it in my own relationship and I wanted to ask both of you how you kind of conduct yourselves in this

situation. Have you asked your partner to rank you by photo? Could you imagine? Did you rank photos? Rank Britt, Laura and I. Yeah, kiss, marry, fuck, kill, whatever. I really do. We would pick. If you really want to blow up your relationship,

just print off photos of all your friends and ask your partner to rank you. See how it goes. Well, this actually came off the back of that insane, like how can we be at season 12 and they don't know how to do it? Fake it. Fake it, fake it, fake it. Zip your fucking mouth shut and just do what you know is right, right? Well, we actually had a really, if you guys didn't hear it,

So on the weekend's pickup episode that would have dropped on Saturday, like literally just a couple of days past, if you haven't listened to that, go back and have a listen because we interviewed John Aiken. One of the experts. Yes, expert, relationship expert. Obviously, like there's a lot of, what's the right word? Because it's not controversial, but a lot of people have

some very strong opinions around the experts and why they pair the peoples together, you know, the different personalities. I think it is controversial. Like I definitely felt it was controversial. sometimes and I even said to John I'm like surely you're not doing this thinking that they're going to work out yeah absolutely and it's like how can you as someone who is and does work as a psychiatrist or even as a counselor like consciously and morally pair people together when it seems as

though they're just going to destroy each other like surely that that is just a conflict of interest in terms of what you do for work John had a very interesting take on the ranking of people and how it really highlights someone's emotional EQ. And it's like, it is the writing on the wall for that relationship and the writing on the wall for whether that person understands the process of that experiment. Right. Cause it's like, it may take you quite a while to figure out someone's EQ, but that he's like, it's like black and white. If they've ranked you low down, you know, straight away that they are someone who is like going to be so challenging for you to maintain or navigate a relationship with. He's like, and most couples just don't

ever recover from that understandably interesting it's kind of like a fast way to figure out that they're shit that you've been yeah matched with like a shit dude well actually that is exactly what happened with this particular couple I'm talking about so Ashley and Jake they are the ones who were both teachers and the story of Jake looked like he was just this really lovable kind of geeky PE teacher who was ready to be in a good relationship and then the way that his character was positioned to be this really really lovely guy and then the photo ranking challenge happened and the things that he said about all of these other women just took a cliff dive.

Like it was just like, oh, my gosh, was that like were you hiding who you were? Some of the things that he said about the other women, which his partner, his wife, Ashley, had a real issue with, were things like she's got crazy eyes, she looks like she'd stand at the end of a bed and murder you in the night or stand with a knife or something like, I'm paraphrasing, but you get my point. Basically, he was talking about all of these women in really,

really derogatory ways that were quite strange. like and completely unnecessary he could have just said that's how attractive i think they are that's not for me yeah and one other thing that he said that was deeply problematic was i'm not racist but i'm into caucasians you know like there's a difference between having a preference for a physical attribute and trying to claim that you're not like racially you know motivated to pick a certain person but i don't know i also kind of think in these instances it really highlights like his behavior and the things he was saying he's tried to pass it off as though he was just making a joke and I think it shows how much some people don't understand the line of negging and

it's like that's not a joke it's actually really fucking mean what you've just said and trying to pass it off as a joke and telling me that I don't get your humor those excuses don't fly anymore I think in terms of relationships and I think that people are very aware and when you see it play out on TV it really makes you go wow like he's a flog that's your first reaction to that and exactly like what John said that actually just shows me that they have no emotional intelligence so this thing happened after the photo ranking challenge so Ashley went and spoke to what I'm assuming was probably her closest friend on the show in Sierra and she kind of vented about what Jake had said and I'm assuming that she was kind of a bit like hey this really really fucked up thing just

happened and I need to talk to someone about it and I need to unpack it with somebody what happened the following day was where I really started to raise my eyebrows because Ashley sat down with Jake and she basically said to him, Hey, just so you know, it's obviously going to come up on the couch with the experts and everyone in the same room. I did go and talk to Sierra about this and her husband, Billy was there as well. So I spoke with both of them about some of the things that you said in the photo ranking challenge about the other women. And it was Jake's response that I really kind of gassed at. And I don't know whether, I don't know whether everyone feels this way but essentially this is what he said. I am shocked to hear that you know my wife's like

talking about me behind my back. Yeah I'm a bit fired up at the moment. Yes I am regretting going in and talking to Sierra and the way I've gone about it all. I'm not someone who like kind of airs the dirty laundry around. I wouldn't do that to her. It's knowing that Ash went behind my back. Yeah, she's broken my trust. If you have a situation unfold within your relationship, is it okay to go and air the dirty laundry? Is it okay to talk about the things that you have a problem with

with your friends? Or is that being disloyal to your partner? I think that there's two sides to this question because what happened in this particular relationship is that she went and told the people that he was speaking about what he had said about them. So there's two different things, right? Like she's gone and reported that, hey, my husband said all these shitty things about you. That's different to going and unloading on a friend about other issues. Yeah. Well, other issues that you might

just be having in your relationship. You know, it's one thing to go and say to your friend, Ben and I are having these huge fights at the moment. Like he's been doing this. I don't agree with this. It's another to go and say, hey, Ben said that he hates you because you're a bitch. Do you know what I mean? Like it's different when you're unloading and actually hurting someone's feelings by telling them what your partner did. For me, that's very evident that she didn't want that relationship to work. And maybe in that situation, it was just a TV situation. I don't want to just put it all on maths, but reality TV does make you do things that maybe you wouldn't have normally done in a relationship that wasn't being filmed to create a drama.

I agree with you to some extent, but also when you think about it in the closed network of the show, the only people that she does have to speak to about something that she's unhappy with in her relationship if she needs to confide in someone or she needs to vent about her partner the only people that she has to do that with are other people from the show and so she's chosen someone who she thinks is one of her close friends who wasn't necessarily the main target of the things that were said you know but I do think it raises a bigger question because I think it's normal and natural to speak to your friends when you are in conflict with your partner you know it's normal especially as women and I don't want to gender stereotype but I think it does play a role

we do talk to our friends when we're feeling that there's conflict in our relationships but there is a line as to how much do you share and are you sharing it because you're frustrated or are you sharing it because you're trying to paint them in a certain way but I also think that it can come down to this idea of like you can overshare to your friends about your partner and sometimes if you are an oversharing type personality type you may be inclined to overshare on the negative things because they're the stuff that you need to talk about more they're the things that you need to vent about and then I guess like where is the line between when it's venting and it turns into what feels like or might feel like character assassination if you were the

partner to be the you know the fly on the wall in that situation I think it is very healthy and normal to talk to your friends about your relationship grievances. However, I also think that if you were on the flip side of it, and it was, you found out that your partner had been sharing that information, you would also feel a level of hurt. So there has to be some understanding of, okay, how would they feel if they knew that I was saying X, Y, Z? Am I reporting on my biased side of this argument? What I felt was the case from this argument? Am I painting them in a way that makes them look like a total asshole when they're not a total asshole. I think that they're all questions because it depends on what's being done, right? Like, I mean, I know that, for

example, when I was going through my ex situation where I was getting cheated on and everything else, a manipulation tool that was used in that relationship was to make me feel bad for talking to my sister or to my mom about the fact that he cheated on me because he was like, well, now your family are going to hate me. Why did you tell your mom? Because now I can never go and see your family again at Christmas time or whatever, because they're going to hate me. And at the time I had this real sense of guilt because I was like, fuck now, now like, yeah, my parents and my family are angry at him and my friends are angry at him. And now we're never going to be able to be this like cohesive friendship group. But looking at it now that I'm out of that relationship, I'm like,

oh no, that was accountability for your actions. Like you had toxic behavior. You did really bad things in that relationship. And you would punish me when I spoke about it to my friends because it made you look bad. I also think you can fall into a trap of only sharing the negatives of a relationship and then your friends, I mean, your friends are always going to be biased. They're always going to take your side and be understanding of what you're saying. They're going to relate to situations that you might've been into the past, but those situations with people close to you are biased. They're going to 90% of the time, made that statistic up, most of the time, they're going to take your side unless they're going to be really objective, which doesn't

happen often when a friend comes to you and they want to vent and they want to talk about something shitty that someone has said or done you're always going to be like I totally feel you I hear you they're going to be a great person so I think you have to be really careful to sort of like compliment sandwich it in a way like make sure that you are sharing the good things as well unless there aren't any good things and then maybe you do need to hear some tough love from your friend but you need to be careful who you pick and what you share I think there are different friends and family members for different things yeah totally I actually agree with that and I'm trying to think about that in my own situation I'm very much the type of person who feels like

I need to talk with my friends when I have issues but I think it's because I am fortunate enough and both of you have done this quite a number of times for me I don't think that you give me particularly biased takes you know I know that you have my best interests at heart and so both of you have said things to me before where you've kind of been like yeah but maybe this is where he was coming from or maybe you should think about it from this particular perspective or could this of being what he meant. And that's actually been really, really helpful for me. I think the one thing that I've tried to be careful of, and this is only because I've done it wrong before and had to then learn from that, is picking people to talk to who are not going to hold onto that grudge

with your partner. If you do repair things, you know, there's some, like some friends who it depends on what the thing is. It does depend on how bad it is. It depends on what the grievance is because sometimes you know sometimes we're in relationships and we can forgive but it takes our friends who have seen the hurt and seen the damage that that person caused a lot longer to forgive because i don't know i mean they don't have as much skin in the game they don't understand why there's this forgiveness there and they've seen or heard all the bad things they've been there for all the crying and the discussions around like what it was that i can't i keep saying hey but it's you know it's obviously works both sides but whatever it is that they've done and then it's

like this emotional whiplash from your friends as well that they have to be like cool all right now we're okay again I guess you're a good guy it is a double-edged sword though because when you flip it and put yourself in the situation if you have a really big fight with your partner and then he goes and tells his friends and he or his family and he tells you my initial response would be like why did you go and tell everyone now they're all going to hate me so I understand from both sides but there is an aspect of everyone in a relationship needs to understand that it is not healthy and it is not natural and normal to keep everything to yourself like that is an impossible ask of any situation everyone is going to share something with one person even i believe this i

genuinely believe this people that say i promise i will never tell a soul a secret they're lying every single person will tell someone the time sorry sorry no but you know what i mean i agree with what you're saying i do think that people can keep secrets i know let me let me finish that but I think you should be smart enough to think that maybe they won't because there will be secrets that you tell someone in life and they are so incredibly trustworthy that they don't share it with another person. But the problem is, is that often they tell one person that they think is trustworthy. And the issue is that they're a little bit removed from the promise. And so then they can tell someone else. And then that's how it spreads is because there's this like

lack of feeling as though that they have a sense of responsibility to the promise that was made. Well, there's loads of research on it. It could be really interesting to talk about it more. There's loads of research on the fact that it's almost impossible for someone to keep a secret and not share it in some capacity to feel a weight, even if it's with their closest person that they trust, their loved one or their partner, or they have to write it down in a journal to feel like they're not carrying the weight of it. Like there's a lot of research to say that not many people can literally like have the

saying, I'll take it to the grave. Hence why we now have confessionals back for you to all absolve yourself of your sins. I have a like an experience that happened to me and Matt when we were away in Fiji I think it was with my sister and my brother-in-law it was like our honeymoon but we went away on like it was kind of like a honeymoon and my sister's 40th all kind of merged in together when you got kids it's kind of different you don't you don't get to celebrate the normal milestones that you might do if you do things in like the traditional linear pattern so we were away and we had like a little tiff over something that was nothing but I was a bit pissed off at Matt I can't remember what it was but in

the scheme of things it was just like we just annoyed each other really and I'd gone into the bedroom to ask my sister something and I was like I just like had a moan about him I was like oh fucking Matt blah blah blah whatever it was and I was very much in the wrong it was it was an unnecessary moment for me to vent uh it was not going to be a long stemming issue in our relationship he just pissed me off and I could have gotten over it and I didn't really have to tell anyone but I chose to and I told my sister and Matt overheard and he was he was so hurt he called me aside and he was like hey I know you're mad at me he's like but what you just did is so much worse he's like you just painted me in a certain way to your sister we're all on holidays

together like why make me sound like I'm an arsehole he's like what are you going to gain from that and he absolutely was right but in my defense I'm like as my sister of course I complained I complained about everything do it every day you just don't know you know literally and it was it was a real like kind of like him holding up a mirror to the fact that sometimes the complaining we just do it because it's making conversation it's not actually something that's necessary it doesn't necessarily move the relationship forward and so I think that it's being aware of like where that line is absolutely have the big conversations that you need to vent and get off your chest but if you're just bitching about your partner to bitch about

them like that really erodes someone's well one if they find out about it it roads their fucking trust in you but secondly it erodes that person's opinion of your partner and that sucks as well because matt's amazing and i would hate to ever influence alicia's opinion of him yeah but i think i don't know my opinion on that is i actually think it's okay that that you were complaining about something insignificant to the closest person in your life the problem is he heard it yeah you're just gonna be behind their back and i don't want to say like bitch behind people's facts but like it's do it better if you complain if that was me in that situation and you complained about something insignificant it doesn't change my opinion of Matt I'm just like yeah feels girl

like you know we all go through it it's just unfortunate that Matt heard that and then that escalated the situation I just think it's truly impossible for everyone or anyone to live a life and have a relationship and be in those situations where you never bent about your partner there are no two humans in the entire world that don't annoy each other in a relationship or don't have issues or don't have roadblocks it's a natural part of a relationship I think it's just you've got to be careful of the frequency who you're doing it to are they going to find out and also I think it's about be selective about what you share yeah I think that that would be the other thing can I give my take on this particular situation because Jake's ended up leaving the

show like because he was basically held accountable the reason I had such a reaction to it is because of exactly what you discussed about your ex-boyfriend who was questioning why you would go and talk to your mum and your sister about, you know, the cheating. Oh yeah, it's a manipulation technique. I actually thought that this was incredibly manipulative. These people have been married on a show, you know, like they haven't known each other for very long. So it's not like she would have seen the warning signs of him actually being like this for

very long. I think they've known each other for like three weeks by this point. So I think it was incredibly reasonable for her to need to go and talk to someone about it because of how confronting the things that he had said were. And so him flipping that and being like, wow, you really broke my trust. I'm like, you only have three weeks worth of trust built. Yeah, you don't have trust yet. She's actually just so like she's finding you so abrasive

because of what you've said. And I thought, no, that was you not being accountable for the things that you'd said. And I think that that's why he ended up leaving the show because he didn't want to take accountability for it and he was held accountable by everyone in the room and the three experts. And I think that that was why I was like, oh, no,

she had every right to go and talk to someone about that because she was so confronted by it and now you've flipped it and then I started to think, well, when this happens in my relationship, am I doing the wrong thing by going and talking to you guys about it whenever I have problems? Like I wasn't sure whether that was me actually doing the wrong thing but I guess it's one of those situations where it kind of depends on what's happened

and who you're talking to. Ah, maths, providing the never-ending source of like what not to do in your relationships. A lot of people seem to be like making some hasty exits on maths this season. I think they're interested. I don't think they've had this many maths exits. Yeah, I don't know.

I feel as though it's like they're in the 12th season now. I think that people are clocking on to the fact that, you know, they're going to be made out to be the villain. And so instead of staying around and being able to be torn to shreds, they're kind of like just cutting their losses and going, I'm out. Yeah, but it's interesting because up until other seasons, everyone's always been like, why don't these people just leave? And then they're like, I have to stay on the couch and it's got to be like,

you know, two stays and everyone's got to be in unison. But now it's like people are not abiding by the maths rules anymore and they're just leaving whenever the fuck they want to leave, which would be an absolute producer nightmare for how to run this show. But it does make it interesting. Three men. Have gone. Only men.

Well, there'll be more in store. Anyway, guys, it is time for our suck and sweets of the week. What is your suck, Brittany? My suck is this don't come from me. it's so top level but i ordered a huge extra large tub of ice cream delivered to my house like it's what i do it's just what i do you've probably saw in my stories but they're pretty expensive it's like 50 bucks for the proper ice cream from like the messinas and the anitas you know like the luxurious ice cream for a tub now delivery it's 50 bucks for like a one liter tub oh i might sorry

it's 1.5 of course it was but also that's fucking madness so it's an ice cream yep i ordered it and I made the decision to go try a new flavor that I didn't like and I, well, that I didn't like it. I didn't like it. I thought I'd love it. I got it 50 bucks. I went hard. I got half a tub worth of the same one and I didn't like it. So I was pretty upset by that. That's devastating. It is devastating. Top level, top level devastation. I would have thought that your suck would have been that like truly horrific video you posted on your Instagram of you just like smacking Craig in the face with your butt again. My dance partner. With a butt. It was with a vag. Yeah. Sorry. I I was trying to be a bit more diplomatic, but yeah, sure.

With the front butt. I did get stuck around. My crutch got stuck around my dance partner's neck. Yes. And I happened to- Not deliberately. Not deliberately. I did happen to have it on film.

It's on my Instagram if you missed it. That's actually my suite. And I say that because I'm having so much fun dancing. The fails of my dancing are the funnest part. Like I'm just, I'm just laughing so much. I'm going to training and I'm sore and I'm battered. We're bruised, but we're trying all these new things, all these lifts that you're supposed to be able to do and they're not working and I love it because

I can't stop laughing like I'm just in hysterics I haven't laughed so much in so long and I know that well I don't know I have high hopes I'm going to get them before the show I have high hopes I'm going to get them we're really practicing hard and there's been a few times that we are getting them it's just not happening every time at the moment but I love the fails like they're my favorite part of the dance practice it's also just really cool to like do something completely new as an adult and try a new skill and like and get good at something that you actually find challenging yeah that was probably the biggest thing that I loved about dancing with the stars I was like this is not easy for me and it feels really challenging and I'm enjoy getting better

at it like I'm not good but it was like it was I don't know I really loved it yeah I'm having the time of my life and I'm really trying to okay I read an article that Zendaya wrote recently and uh did you I don't know if you guys saw it so did you know Zendaya was on dancing with the Stars. Yeah. Like she's done like loads of seasons. Yeah. She did. She was 16. She, have you seen her dances? Yeah. She's like, she's one of those people that she's incredible. Her jive dance is like one of the dances that went down in history. It's amazing. Well, when I, amazing. When I read this article, I was like, wow, I didn't know Zendaya was on Dancing with Stars. And I went and watched her dancing and I was like, how did you not win that? She's

incredible. She is like a quadruple threat. She's a model. She sings. She's beautiful. She's nice. She's an actor. She dances like she's incredible. Anyway, something that she wrote in the article, because she was 16 she wrote the article recently as like reflecting back and she said I wish I had fun on it she's like I didn't have fun I took it so seriously and you get so stressed about competing and being in it and nailing it and not getting the move she's like I wish I just went back and enjoyed it for what it was really fun time to learn something new to dance to enjoy like dancing is incredible and so because I read that I'm looking at it differently like it's a competition of course I want to win the mirrorball but I don't even have that in mind every day I'm

like this is a one opportunity that I'll never get to do again and I just want to enjoy it it's a better process now because I'm not stressing because I get really anxious in competitions I'm a competitive person but I don't enjoy competition if that makes sense like I want to do the best I can do but it gives me wild anxiety thinking that people are going out being like I'm gonna smash her like I'm good you know like no one doing Dancing with the Stars is thinking I'm gonna smash her no it hasn't no Harry so I watched Harry's story so Harry's been released on Dancing with the Stars and the other day I watched Harry who Harry he's a boxer I saw Harry's story and it really scared me because he's like he was like I'm coming for you guys like

whoever's on he's doing like the fight shit yeah but it was it was funny like he wasn't being mean or anything but he was like there's been some other people released on dancing like I'm coming for you we're coming for you dogs and he said dog like and I was like oh my god he's coming for me I'm the only other person released and then I got wild anxiety because I was like he's coming so I don't like competition like that but yeah so that's my suck and my sweet well my suck for the week is I had a really hectic night with Lola last night took me two and a half hours to get her into bed and a few screaming matches Britt you were on the phone for some of it I did witness Britt called me yesterday and I was like sorry I've just been sitting outside under the sprinkler

and I was like what I was like are you okay do you need a door and I just needed I was it was such a hot day in Sydney and I needed to escape the kids for a bit I'd put them to bed and I was like I wanted so bad to go for a swim but I didn't get to the beach and so I was like okay I'm just gonna go and sit under the hose and it was probably the best 10 minutes of the day I did have a mental image of what it was gonna look like it didn't look good and I didn't even put swimmers on I just sat in my underwear and my bra and knickers in my backyard under the sprinkler yeah I was like wow is this where we are in life no it was a really hard night just trying to get the kids into bed and it went on for over two hours of non-stop repetitive yelling in protest about

wanting to go to bed so that was a tricky night did you try mooning her yeah that's what you should have done mooned her to a room not having anyone to tag team with when when the parenting gets hard is is really really full-on and then my highlight for the week is that Marley had her first day of school so Marley's been to school for two days now and she absolutely blitzed it she's so brave she's so confident oh and now it's her reward she's going to South Africa two days I'm pulling you out you're a child genius yeah but she did really really well and they had like some learning reading tests and stuff and she blitzed it because she's like a little child genius and yeah it was just it was really sweet and then getting there in the

afternoon to pick her up although to all the mums out there who had to deal with like the shorter hours of so like kinder for the first week or two is like starts at 9 30 and finishes at 2 30 so you get to work you've literally just done a few emails and then you're back at the school to pick them up again I don't understand how so many people can physically do that like nine people with nine to five jobs that's asking a lot no they can't but you have to just like figure this week of school out right like you just make you make sacrifices you tell work that you've got to finish early for a week because you've got to pick your kids up but I came into school and she was so excited when she walked out of her little classroom with her teacher and everything and she

was sitting there with a hat on that they'd made and they'd colored it in and I had like my first day of kindy so the cutest thing i've ever seen wholesome yeah and then i cried so i love that so cute in the car by myself she's really growing up i know i was like i just remember when she was a tiny baby and now she's at school yeah that's it like you look like you're gonna cry she's just so cute i have such a sorry lola i love you too i have such a soft spot for marley may i just think she's such a beautiful little girl and like i was at your house a couple weeks ago and i was like show me a school uniform and she was like running me through this is my dress and then this is the winter one and like this is what I'm gonna wear and she's talking me through like yeah she's so

ready for it and also like I think because she started a little bit later like you know you can when they're like on that cusp between five or six so like no four or five she started when she's five she's not six but she was just so ready so so like she ran into school like she was so excited her little buddy was waiting there for her oh cute tell me anyway guys that is it from us Hopefully I'll be in the African jungle, but who knows. Good luck. Go vote for Matt. This is the last time I'm going to say it.

Actually, do we end on that? No. It's the last one. Let's wrap it up. It's the last one. I'm not going to say it again. Please, please, please, please, please, please. Sprit, we did say it this much for you.

Don't worry. No, we said it every single episode for you. Yeah, I'm all about it. But I think it's the last time today. Hey, everyone, please vote for Matt. We'll link it in the show notes. And you know the drill. Keep sending your accidentally unfiltered zine,

your confessionals anything that you want us to know we'll always give you anonymous send it to instagram and just put at the top like ask uncut or confessional whatever it is so we can like put them into a nice tiny little pile yeah give us a review if you haven't reviewed us nice one don't give us a two review like that'd be me yeah it's interesting when people sometimes write amazing reviews like the review is incredible the reviews are like couldn't love this more love the girls love every episode then you get like a two star it's because they've hit the wrong button and I'm like how has that happened we got one recently that said something along the lines of I just want to be best friends with all of you and it was four stars I was like what does

it take to get the fifth one what does it take so funny but anyway leave us a review only if it's good and don't forget tell your mom tell your dad tell your dog tell your friends and share the love because we love love We'll be right back.