Life Uncut - Laura had a baby!

Episode Date: July 31, 2019

As the title says... LAURA HAD A BABY! In today’s podcast we do our very first interview with our own host Laura Byrne. There will be guaranteed laughs as Britt extracts the whole juicy unheard story. But what’s that? Britt experiences her own life event? Does it measure up to Laura’s? In other breaking news... season 7 of the bachelor starts tonight and we can barely contain our excitement. We would appreciate for you to share the love! Subscribe and leave a review. Because, well, we love love. XSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey guys, welcome back to episode two of Life Uncut. I'm Britt and I am here with my co-host Laura. What's up guys? Look, it has been a pretty huge few weeks. Some big things have been happening. Laura, you went away and had a little baby and I got kicked off online dating so I feel like it's safe to say we're both kicking some life goals. It's definitely been an eventful few weeks that is for sure. We have so much to talk about today and it's for those that are just catching up it's been a few weeks in between the last podcast that we recorded because Laura did have to go and have a baby so we needed to put that on pause for a few weeks but I think we're four weeks post birth is that right Laura? No we're almost six weeks now yeah Marley's Marley

May is almost six weeks old. So six weeks. So a lot has happened and we are definitely going to delve into that. But before we do, have you seen the Bachelor promos? I am obsessed. Yes, I have seen it. I spent my entire life on the couch now, so I can't possibly have missed it. It looks amazing and I cannot wait for this season to start. Yep. So I am irrationally jealous. Actually, it's probably not even irrationally. It's rationally jealous because they look like they're doing the most epic things i saw some flight of jets and i saw some of the most romantic dates i was actually going to ask you how you felt about the batch and whether you felt jealous about him being the bachelor because quite honestly i think that that matt agnew that matt agnew i think

they've cast him so well i think he's going to be a brilliant bachelor seriously the number of people that messaged me saying why i hope please tell me you're an intruder on this show i'm not yeah but how do you feel like in comparison do you wish that you're in this season versus last season or are you quite happy with how your story panned out I do believe everything happens for a reason and I'm happy with how my story panned out obviously Nick and I were not meant to be and we had Sophie and I had this great story you know that was women supporting women and I love that but how could you not be jealous looking at Dr Matt Agnew I'm jealous of the fact that he genuinely looks like he's out for love and he looks like he found it from, you know,

the promos. They're saying that he says he loves you at the end. Yeah. I think that with this series, we're going to get back to our traditional love story. And I think that they haven't gone for their celebrity. They have gone back to their original sort of storyboard where they found an exceptional normal person who's looking for love. yeah he's not a celebrity he's looking for love he is intelligent he seems lovely yeah i just feel like they wouldn't have cast somebody that wasn't absolutely and he's a real australian bachelor like he has he ticks all the boxes he's got everything going for himself he's the sort of guy that if you met him in the real world you'd be like holy shit this guy's amazing yeah that's

what the bachelor is supposed to be and i love that i mean it was it was always going to happen but i love that they put the slow-mo ripping the shirt off running down the beach mad on the ad obviously panning up from the abs he's got his oil on he's looking on point i actually watched that and thought that was such a maddie j promo like they did it for nick too it's just identical put her shirt on no take it off leave it off i think they're brilliant promos because i was hooked i was like damn shorty yeah they really have gone back to the original storyboard with this one just oil them up and throw them on the beach that's it anyway i think well done well done to uh the casting of matt there but a few other things that i wanted to talk about uh actually

let's just chat about how i got kicked off bumble before we get into you having the baby let's talk about my life event oh get brit let's talk about your life events what's been happening babe come at me so um i finally went back on online dating it's been a year everyone said you need to get back on there because people don't approach me in real life anymore people don't actually i was talking to a really good friend just recently who's a publican and people don't even go out anymore people don't socialize in the way that we used to because we used to go out for the purpose of trying to meet someone definitely now that's all done online so I've seen people out at the bar before swiping on tinder yeah I mean I was like dude look up there's a babe right next to

you easier than wait were you the babe or obviously yeah I'm like hello look at me it's just easier than having to socialize and being rejected in real life I think being rejected on a screen is is far less of a blow to the ego yeah then going up to someone and them saying no sorry I don't want you to buy me a drink we just don't have to socialize in the same way anymore yeah this is true so what was your experience you were back on bumble so i went i finally went back on bumble like just say late afternoon one's fine winter's day and i wake up in the morning and i tell you what i feel like it's christmas i'm like oh can't wait to log on and see who's did you have some matches yeah i was so pumped i don't know why anyway i open up the app and it's like good

morning Brittany you have been kicked off Bumble why I was like what the hell what could I have possibly done in 12 hours it was all the naked photos you put on there again wasn't it it was the nude photos yeah okay you'd think that that would get you VIP but it doesn't no it doesn't Bumble's really about a respectful platform no dick pics allowed well done Bumble no look apparently too many people in that 12 hours had reported me as a fake profile like which is sad on multiple levels because a they're saying no Brittany wouldn't be on here but I really am well i mean i think i got kicked off so i couldn't even online date if i wanted to i actually love bumble so did you see that we had a fake profile i did recently your profile

was your whole family which is so ridiculous so for anyone who doesn't know um and who doesn't follow my instagram i was notified by one of my followers that i had a profile on bumble which is pretty strange considering i've just had a baby and i'm in a pretty happy relationship and it was a person named Troy, 38 years old in the Gold Coast with a photo of my entire family and I didn't even notify Bumble. I just put up on my stories as a bit of a laugh because I thought it was a bit of a joke and Bumble actually got in touch with me. They got in touch firstly to ask me if I had any more information about the profile and I didn't respond to them. I was just a bit busy doing mum life and then they contacted me again a few days later and said that they had

found the profile with absolutely no further information from me except for a screenshot and they'd removed it and if there was ever something like this in the future just to let them know and i just thought that was absolutely amazing the sort of effort they go to to try and control their platform i think it is i think it's brilliant firstly troy what were you thinking no one's going to want to go and date a whole family yeah at least keep it realistic if you're gonna catfish ain't no one want to date me when i've got a five-week-old baby that is too much baggage no but to be fair um I wasn't even going to chase it up I was like oh well back to the drawing board but my girlfriend Renee she said look I know the people at Bumble you've got to get back on there

and I said no don't worry so she just went and messaged them on my behalf god love her and um they fixed it up straight away they contacted me and they apologized and they thought look we just have to protect people there are and there are fake profiles of myself so and they rectified that and they actually put me back on there straight away yeah I just think I mean obviously I'm not online dating at the moment but I think at the moment like it's coming yeah I didn't even think of that I'm not online dating and have no intention of doing that ever again new paragraph the end I just think that Bumble and this is in no way a Bumble ad but I think that Bumble has created such a such a great community in comparison to a lot of the other online dating sites and I think

that they really do show that they care about the profiles and the people that are within their community by taking actions like that i i don't remember any of the other online dating apps taking things that seriously or being that quick to action and there's a reason i'm not on tinder or anything like that because of that reason i feel like tinder now is just like a swipe for sex thing um people have sort of categorized that as that as a hookup app and i think um bumble and there's this new one hinge i think they're taking it a little bit more seriously for people to actually want to date yeah i think that they've they've changed the culture a little bit of what online dating is and also bumble with having bumble business and bumble friends yeah yeah

that they're really i love that but i also think it's so sad that people can't go make a friend anymore just at the bar at the beach or through a friend like what we have to go to have friends online do you think though because i i think as well i mean when we say that the online dating culture is changing about how we approach people in a bar i think it's also really difficult to just approach a female and be like hey I'm new to this area I don't have any friends because you don't know where that person's at in their own personal journey and when you get to a certain age I know I don't have enough time to to make new friends and to put effort into that and so I think it can be incredibly hard for people who have relocated to make friends I feel I get that

having lived in so many different countries I have actually used tinder because I never had this friendship part so I've been using tinder and made friends and I have friends all around the world from tinder yeah i remember when i was on tinder and this is you know quite a few moons ago now and i had a girl who had on her profile she was like i'm not i'm not a lesbian i'm not looking for a sexual relationship at all i'm just new to this area and i'm finding it incredibly difficult to make friends so if you think this profile is weird please swipe swipe past and you know if you're also in a similar situation i'd love to meet up for a coffee or a drink and that's where it's obviously stemmed from yeah and i think it's great that bumble has taken the initiative and

created that. It's fantastic. Yeah, it's essentially a network. Also, I just read something that I wanted to comment on. I literally read this this morning, but Natalie Imbruglia is pregnant. I don't know if you've heard that. I did. She's having a baby. Yeah. And I just wanted to comment on this because she is 44, I believe. And she has gone and done that on her own with IVF and a sperm donor. And she's happily said that. She's open about it. She said she's not going to talk in depth about it but there's a big sort of conversation going on about that my immediate thought when I read that was you go girl good on you you want a baby you go get your baby you go get your baby um but there is this I don't know if you read it about there are some people commenting

that maybe I did see the telegraphs article which was said I'm torn about Natalie Imbruglia's decision to have a baby no pun intended I I think it's pretty incredible that we live in a day and age where women can pursue their careers or they can prioritize other aspects of their life. And then the decision to have a baby can come later in life. I do also think that it does run us to risks, but so does everything in life, high risk, high return. If you want to put your career first, which I have done in many ways, I think go for it. So long as you understand that there is the possibility that maybe you will be raising a child on your own, or maybe you'll be making that decision for yourself but if that's where you're at at that point in your life the the

medical tools are out there for people to make those decisions definitely and there are so many risks that come with ages aging pregnancies i think they actually call them geriatric pregnancies after what age i mean do you know you know they really say almost from 34 on now is where it's risks increase brit for those who don't know brit works in the medical world so she has a little bit more knowledge on this stuff than I do despite the fact that I've yeah like so there are procedures that we actually do that I don't think a lot of people even know when people are having problems falling pregnant they will come in and this is like a colloquial term but they we literally flush out their tubes we do things like that it's almost like clearing the

path for the sperm just getting the plumbing ready getting the plumbing ready so there are there are so many things to do to help people fall pregnant and to make sure that you do have a healthy pregnancy but you have to know we women now are working so much longer and prioritizing everything else before having a baby and I'm all for that I'm 32 I don't know when a baby is in my future but there are there are things to help you achieve that now but we also do need to be aware as much as it sucks we have a biological clock and we have to accept that yeah I do think it's important if you want to have kids to have your timeline and to know what you want to achieve in life because it's very easy for time to get away from you and to go from 32 to 37 to 44 and think

I thought I would have children by now but I've been caught up in this world of of work and career and so long as that work and career is giving you fulfillment and happiness and that you are on the trajectory that you want not just that you've been caught by time which I think it does I mean and that's a sad thing because sometimes you're not in control of your situation if you haven't met the right person you might be trying like you know there's not much you can do about that well that's also obviously the fact for Natalie and Brulia I mean she was married for five years and she's had a long-term relationship but it didn't it didn't happen for in that instance and now she's been able to take that into her own hands and and to be able

to have the baby that she wants I think it's incredible yeah I'm excited I'm excited to watch that journey so speaking of pregnancies before we go and jump into the question and answer with you in your journey i want to know what the hell is in the bachelor water because batchy babies are popping up everywhere everyone's having babies we've had sam and snez they have just had their baby charlie lane wood i love that name by the way it's beautiful isn't it i actually had charlie as one of my um my girl's names and matt vetoed it he no i guess it wouldn't wouldn't happen but matt vetoed most of my girl names marley may was the only one that kind of stuck yeah and then um Lisa Hyde, who was in Batcham Paradise as well,

the first season of Batcham Paradise, she has had her little baby, which is Maya J. Annie Kalina. Oh, lovely name. Long name. Yeah. So another little girl. Yeah, and hers is hyphenated too. I'm all down for a hyphenated name.

Go the hyphen. I'm so for it. Three babies in the space of a month is pretty amazing. And all girls. Yeah, it's just a testament to say that there is something in The Bachelor that does work. Yeah, and I want to know where I find it. thanks no look so I do I don't think I've even said it on air yet but Laura you made a little

tiny beautiful human that looks ridiculously like you so congratulations I did not make her on my own thank you very much Matthew Johnson for your contribution to this no but she to be fair I don't know if anyone has seen the little pictures you have kept it quite quiet you've released a few little pictures on your stories you put pictures and things like that but she looks so much like you we've been pretty open with like sharing our photos and stuff of marley i guess the thing that we've been quite about is more around the birth the actual story yeah and not for any big reason other than it kind of took me a while to just get over the birth myself and understand what that is and deal with my own feelings about it and enjoy marley for for her and and not be caught up in all

that she's she's amazing she's so beautiful marley may rose marley may rose and where did that name come was the rose any please say it wasn't anything to do with the bachelor please tell me rose is not a nod to the bachelor unfortunately sorry osha rose is uh matt's grandma's name so may is my grandma's name rose is matt's marley is also not from marley and me the dog movie which everyone keeps asking um I just loved the name Marley and and Matt um I mean Matt got Johnson and so I kind of put my foot down early on and I was like no you get the last name so I get to pick the first name you're also pushing it out of your vagina so that gives you some I did yeah I had some leverage there so I I chose Marley but Matt was on board he loved it as well and now I think like

we both just adore her name she's so gorgeous it's such a crazy wonderful experience having a newborn baby bless you although I haven't slept so I might just be high on zero sleep yeah I do get a message saying sorry hun I'm running five minutes late because Miley's been screaming for six hours straight oh yeah yeah that there's been a couple of nights that have been um been difficult but I think that's just the newborn that's just newborn yeah just just taking it one day at a time all right well let's go back to the start because you actually have been really quiet on the birth story which which I like I like that you guys took some time to keep it private and a little bit something that was special to you for a while but i think

you're at the point now where you're happy to share it if you are i am going to extract some things from you yes come at me come at me come at you firstly before we get right right into it all i want to know is from one to ten with ten being i want to die right now how painful was the birth oh do you know what i actually hate saying this because there's going to be women who are listening to this who are about to have their own babies and that's just such a shitty thing to do to a new mom well so that's your warning if you're listening now and you're having a baby tap out no yeah yes stop listening do you know what they don't call it labor for no reason it is definitely very painful although everyone has very different pain thresholds and i think

because i was actually induced i didn't go into a spontaneous labor and i think if you go into spontaneous labor it's a very different labor story than what i experienced so i'm gonna say it was right at the brink of my pain threshold i like i wanted to originally do a natural birth that was my great intention but i ended up having to opt for an epidural just because i couldn't manage my pain expectations however like everyone says once that baby's out it's actually amazing how euphoric you feel the pain just goes away all of it instantly instantly see i just can't even begin to imagine it's really incredible just kind of like our backstory on what happened so well you were over weren't you yeah i was two weeks overdue with marley and they really only

let you go to two weeks now because the issue with going over any more than that is your placenta has a use by date basically like think of it like a carton of milk it has an expiration on it and if that expiration happens there's an increased risk of stillbirth so it can be really really detrimental to go any further than two weeks so we pushed it right to the limits and then we were booked in to be induced and it's kind of a weird experience I think if you're booked in for a c-section or you're booked in for an induction because you don't have this oh my water's broke oh I'm in labor like let's get to the hospital which kind of seems a bit romantic as part of the story, we were very much like, okay, I'm, you know, I know that I'm going to go to the

doctors at 9am or 7am tomorrow morning. I've got my bag packed. It's a weird thing that you like planned it and you know it's happening. Totally. It was really methodical. And so we got to the hospital. I mean, we were running late because Matt can't be on time for anything, even though the birth was planned. Babe, you were running two weeks late already. I was two weeks late and yet I was still waiting in the car for Matt to get his bag packed. Matt, get your shit together. I know. I love the man.

We got to the hospital and the way that it works when you're being induced is they actually manually break your waters with a plastic hook. So I was hooked up to a drip, given some synthetic oxytocin, which is what brings on the labor. Sounds brilliant. Yeah. And then they broke my waters with a plastic hook. And so I waited in the hospital to go into labor. and the thing with being induced is that and this I didn't actually know this until the time

some women still have normal contractions where their contractions you'll have one contraction that might last a minute and then you have several minutes between the contraction which allows you to kind of compose yourself and to breathe and get up back on top of the pain and get ready for the next contraction I didn't have that unfortunately I just had one never-ending contraction so I couldn't get on top of the pain at all how long just for like hours for over an hour yeah like it just just wasn't stopping and so it was really really difficult to manage the pain and manage my expectations around how I was going to do six hours or eight hours or 24 hours I didn't know how long I was going to be in labor for so I ended up opting to have an epidural

holy shit epidurals are so great they are great it was like night and day so we went from having me over the side of the bed being sick unable to speak to sitting up and having a full-blown conversation with everyone that was in the room and laughing and making jokes and oh if you need to answer oh my goodness yeah sorry my phone's just ringing now it's probably Matt telling you that I need to get home for a breastfeed. When you've got a baby, you need to have your phone ready. Or have your phone on silent. I'm so sorry. No, just ask Matt quickly to breastfeed himself. I mean, he's been a pretty good hands-on dad so far, so I'm sure he'd give it a crack. Anyway, so yeah, look, it was not what I expected my labor to be and having an epidural

definitely made it far more manageable. That was for sure. Well, I think you hear that a lot. I I have a lot of friends actually that have these big expectations and this birth plan on what's going to happen, how it's going to go down, and it just doesn't work like that. I'm actually so glad that I didn't have a birth plan and I didn't go to any birthing classes. I didn't go to any breastfeeding classes. Oh, yeah.

What was the prep like? How do you prep for a baby? Do you actually go to these classes and do the bouncing on the ball thing and like Matt pretends to pull a football out of you? I don't know. I think that people do. And you know what? But you didn't do anything?

No, I didn't do any of them. and like props to people who do because I do think that it would make you more mentally prepared but I guess I really didn't want to have any expectations around the birth and I didn't want to get hung up on how I wanted it to be which in my instance I'm really glad that I didn't do that purely because it's I didn't have the birth that I would have wanted if I was to sit down and say you know this is this is my ideal type of birth being induced wasn't it well yeah and then you run the risk of having this um your expectations your expectations aren't met so you have this intense disappointment and you don't want that to translate yeah when you have the baby into these

like sort of ill feelings of i failed or i didn't do it because i think people feel like they failed when they don't give a natural birth but god if you can just get that baby out safely in any way i don't think it matters it's okay for some people to to have a birth plan and it's totally okay to to have strong feelings about how you want your birth to go because it's such an important and pivotal experience that's only going to happen you know one two maybe three or four times if you've got a lot of kids in your life so and there you know depends on your personality type some people do need to feel like they have more control over situation I'm not that person I'm actually I do better without trying to control things and just kind of going with the flow a little bit so for

me it worked not going to any birth classes we had amazing midwives at the hospital who talked me through everything anyway um but as much as being induced wasn't the experience that i wanted it was still an incredible birth and it was you know that moment where where they your baby comes out and they put her on your chest i couldn't imagine oh i couldn't have imagined it either it's just the most incredible experience and so was she correct me if i'm wrong but i feel like she was backwards upside down inside out she wasn't sitting right was she to come out yeah no she was oh she wasn't um she wasn't breech but she was posterior so she was upside down basically so what it means is bottom first no no other way so basically she was facing the right

way like she was head down but it means usually their back would be facing your stomach so that's a much more comfortable way to give birth but when they are posterior it means that their spine is against your spine and they're trying to come out with the biggest part of their head first so she got stuck and they couldn't and the midwives were actually being so supportive i'd been pushing for god what feels like my entire life and and they're like you're doing so good she's coming down yeah she's coming down she's coming down and and i was like it doesn't feel like she's moving and they're like no no you're doing so good she's definitely coming down she'd been stuck for 45 minutes so she wasn't going what a millimeter at a time she wasn't

moving anywhere poor thing so um yeah she ended up I ended up having to have an episiotomy and she was suctioned out which sounds which sounds very romantic yeah look it's not it's definitely what's that old horrible saying oh it's like watching my favorite pub burn down uh every time I heard that saying oh every time I hear a man say that I just want to slap them it's Yeah, look, there's nothing romantic about it, but everything goes back, ladies. Everything. It's amazing.

Does it? Yes. So normal again. Just moves the whips back in? Yes. We're built for this shit. It's great. Honestly, I am absolutely amazed at what the body can do.

Well, you know what is amazing? And it's crazy to think about, but back in the day, it's crazy to think that you guys might not have survived and so many mothers and babies. If that baby wasn't in perfect position and people just didn't survive their pregnancies which is so we should be so grateful for modern medicine and everything that allows us to have a healthy birth right now well childbirth used to be the biggest killer of women that was it it would it was such risky business having a baby because if anything went wrong they

didn't have the tools they were hemorrhaged bleed out baby couldn't get out oh my god if you're having a baby don't even listen to that that's awful now oh i'm talking about yeah i know i'm talking back hundreds of years ago okay but now honestly they'll send you home four hours afterwards if you have a normal vaginal delivery and there's no complications four hours after giving birth you can leave the hospital my girlfriend had a water birth uh up in byron bay in the bath and literally it was i've seen the photos and it was beautiful popped it out got dressed towel dried her hair and walked out the door went home it's amazing i was like you're a nut i um we stayed so i had marley at 4 50 i think around that p.m p.m um in the afternoon and the

labor was only about six six hours so it was pretty quick birth really um so I had a 4 50 p.m and I was out of hospital by 11 a.m the next day so I spent one night which is amazing yeah but I didn't even want to spend that the only reason why I had to spend that was because of having some stitches but I was happy to go home and I wanted to be in my own space I think that there's something really nice about being if you have the help I was really lucky I had Matt's mum helping me oh that's nice so we had that at home it's quieter you're not being woken up by other people's babies it's really difficult to get sleep in the ward so i felt better being in my own space whereas i think some people feel much better knowing that they've got help close by

yeah i've heard some people say that you know they were in for quite a few days and they didn't really want to go home because they were scared to be on their own and they didn't know what to do well it's crazy you just you have this baby you have no tools as to how to take care of it like sure read the books read all the books what is that even you know that is not real like that is not real any of it you know you get home you have this whole human that you have to take care of and you have to breastfeed it and make sure that it's it's getting enough yeah nutrients and figure that out yeah and and babies lose weight after they've just been born marley actually lost more than 10 percent of her birth weight which is not they're supposed to lose less than that right they lose

up to 10% if they lose more than that then it could be maybe a problem with your milk flow or they're not they're just not getting enough nutrients Marley have lost more than 10% and just gave me this such a feeling of um I just felt so defeated and I felt so useless and like I wasn't doing a good enough job and I I was so fearful that what I was doing was wrong but you're just learning as you go you're just figuring it out yeah well that's life isn't it Totally. And now like at the six week or five week and a bit mark, I feel so much more confident and I'm like, okay. Yeah. And I think it takes, it takes a while to get that confidence back and be able to leave the house and be like, no, no, no, I got this. Yeah. Mama got this. And you,

you so have this. So in your birth, obviously Matt was in there. Yeah. Who, who, do you have anyone else in there? Like, was your family in there at all? I had my sister in there with me And I also had Matt's mum in there with me as well. Did you really? So I had the three of them, which was so nice. I asked my own mum if she wanted to come in and she sort of said it wasn't really her cup of tea. Oh, really? But you know what?

It's not for everyone. It's not for everyone. Matt's one of five and his mum is such a maternal, wonderful woman. And she just loves everything to do with babies. And so for me, I was really happy having her in there. So were they like really heads down in the action there? Were they watching it happen or did they just stay up sort of next to your head? I always wonder, do they get down there in between the legs and see it all happening?

Oh, look, I mean, it's all on show. If you want to go down there and have a look. Matt was pretty. You didn't care? No, not at all. Like, and by the time you get to that point in labor, you do not care. You know, the whole time I was thinking, God, I don't want to poo in front of everyone. But then by the time you actually.

Oh yeah, because everyone poos, don't they? That's what I've heard. Well, I didn't. So that was okay. but great every there you go to the world you are welcome I guess like prior to I was so concerned about that I was like oh god how embarrassing Matt's mum's gonna see this but you know what when you get in there you don't care about anything honestly there could have been an entire football team in there and I wouldn't I wouldn't have given a crap at all yeah literally

given a crap literally there was no craps to give you're so funny the worst so how was matt in there is he like a fainter feels queasy or was he really supportive and fine and loved it or no he was amazing i mean he stayed at the top end the whole time but he was really really supportive there was one point during the labor where um i had like music playing not any music track that i picked or anything but there was just ambient music playing in the background and i was having contraction and Matt was holding my hand and singing like along to this Ed Sheeran song and I was like shut the fuck up shut up but I was in so much pain I couldn't tell him to shut up you just want complete silence and it was so distracting having him be like he's having a

great time oh my god I could have killed him but anyway that was the only thing and he realized straight away like you just don't must be hard for them not knowing what like they can't help you they can't help and it's such a personal and like animalistic process where it honestly doesn't matter who's in the room I didn't think that did anyway and you see it's funny growing up and in all the movies you see birth as you know a woman laying on her back legs up in the stirrups gently being like pushing her baby out but realistically how did Marley come out were you like lunging squatting on all fours oh my position yeah like literally the position because it's not what people think it's like usually i think squatting is the most that's what i've read after they say

they say actually try and get gravity to help yeah but i because she was stuck and i had to have an episiotomy i was in stirrups so i probably looked very much like your um traditional grow up expectations of birth yeah i think i look like a movie scene um was the wind blowing in your hair like a car crash um no it was um yeah so i think it like if i was to think of what a traditional birthing video or like video sorry movie looked like it was like that but um okay but yeah god it's weird to think back on it now even honestly you just forget your brain just does this amazing thing where as soon as it's over it's like and they just erase that part of it so what was the hardest part of the whole if you had to say that of being pregnant or the birth what did you find

hardest out of the whole thing was it just literally getting her out no I think the hardest part was probably a little bit after I think week number two was probably my hardest period and you know you have this euphoria after having the baby and after having Molly it was so amazing and then the first little bit of time you get so much help from family and friends and stuff and at about the two-week mark it's when that help kind of dips off a little bit life goes back to normal yeah and and it's still I think that that you're very very uncomfortable afterwards I was extremely uncomfortable afterwards and so just doing day-to-day stuff was really difficult around the house and then also navigating having no sleep that sleep debt catches up on you

and not being able to sort of like have you know I just felt like such a shell of a person at the two-week mark because I was still in a lot of discomfort and and I was so shattered tired so i think that that was probably my biggest hurdle and um you know unfortunately so many women suffer from postnatal depression and i guess that's probably when it starts is when all the help goes and they realize that they're on their own and i feel like they probably get overwhelmed but you've been yeah how have you been with that i i think as well with i mean i don't have postnatal depression so i think it's difficult to comment on something that i haven't experienced But I think that there's also a disconnect with people who suffer from postnatal depression.

You know, you get told that as soon as you have this baby, there's going to be a flood of love and you're just going to instantly feel so in love with your child. And that doesn't happen for everyone. Sometimes that flood of love comes a little bit later. And I actually know that for some men, that's the case as well. And people don't really talk about like postnatal depression for men. a few good friends of mine um actually spoke to me about it from their perspective dads saying you know they didn't have that flood of love to start with and that it came it was almost like they fell in love with their child well i guess they don't have they don't grow it for nine

months and form the same bond they're sort of just waiting for nine months for it to come out and then they then it starts whereas you as a woman have grown it and you feel that connection well you're you're supposed to or ideally ideally you feel that connection but you know i think that some people it's if they don't straight away and then that does grow later on which is also normal and fine if that happens absolutely and there's so much help out there now that we we understand what that is and we have a name for it and we have we it's it's a hormonal imbalance we have the tools to treat people who have that yeah and i think women feel like they're failures and they feel like something's wrong with them but it's not and it's so easy now to go in and seek help

or just speak to a friend or or they can even think that maybe they've made the wrong decision I mean it's such a life-changing event every single part of your identity as a woman changes once you have a baby and I think that that has been difficult for even me to get my head around and I don't suffer from postnatal depression knowing that I'm not able every single part of my day I have to think what am I going to do for Marley how is Marley going to fit into my day whereas Matt can still get up he can still go to the gym he can still go to a work meeting he still has so much autonomy from Marley because she's not she's not dependent on his every move and his everything whereas I and every time she cries or every time that there's something that's

wrong with her it's my instinctive nature to be like is she okay go go and get my baby so it really just changes for a woman much more rapidly than it does for the father I think well in our episode one actually we touched on the fact that you didn't really or you weren't going to get maternity leave as such that you had to go back and run your business and you had these really high expectations of how you were going to do that and how now that you've done it it's we're six weeks yeah how have you been finding that have you gone back to work as such I'm an idiot that's what I had to say about that I am an idiot a big fool um I have started back at work like I have started doing work I'm not going into the office per se it's really really difficult because

I've realized that my my schedule is not the same as Marley's schedule and newborn babies need to have sort of four hour blocks of sleep or three hour blocks of sleep sounds brilliant their own environment though they can't you can't just or i can't with marley anyway maybe every baby's different i can't just strap her on me and then go to work and chuck her in the car and then chuck her in the pram and like move her around because she gets unsettled and then her sleep debt racks up and so i get to 8 p.m at night and that's when i've called you and she's been screaming yeah and she's just ropeable because she's not had the sleep that she needs and she's such a a newborn baby that she doesn't have the mental capacity to understand oh i'm tired go to sleep

she's just so overtired that she'll cry and cry and cry until 11 p.m so and there's nothing you can do nothing she doesn't have colic there's nothing wrong she's fed her nappy's changed but it's just this sleep debt that and this routine that i'm trying to get my head around and so as much as i want to get back into doing work and as much as when you run your own business it's really important to kind of have that to go back to it's been so much harder than what i thought it was going to be to juggle those two things and work is 100 the part that's going to suffer and is suffering now it comes down to matt playing a bigger role in like taking her away for those three hour blocks in order to give me time to do the work that i need to do yeah well even like now

we're recording this it's 8 30 in the morning but um you know you fed miley and then he's got for a few hours then you go straight back totally and this is nice that you have that help and i don't think a lot of women do i think a lot of women you know that husbands have to go or partners have to go or have to go back to work and and there's one person whose life changes so dramatically and so quickly while the other person's life as much as it does change they still have the ability to tap into their friendship groups and get some me time outside of just being a mom or a dad and i guess that that's the biggest thing that i'm sort of adjusting to now is is i'm a mom 24 7 and i know you know that when you're pregnant but you don't know until you know you don't know until you

know and until you're experiencing it it's it's really really different and it's a massive identity shift yeah well there was something else i wanted to talk about that i actually have listened to you talk about in the past and um i was really intrigued by it and i took my hat off to you for being open about it but you actually suffered a miscarriage before this pregnancy yeah and um i like that you spoke about that so the women don't know a that they're on their own women feel like they're on their own in that but it is it happens but did that impact this pregnancy did that like put this the fear into you or change the way you led your life because you were trying to protect this baby yeah massively so i i guess starters when matt and i were pretty open about talking

about our miscarriage before Marley not as a woe is me or anything like that um just because we didn't want to announce this pregnancy and for everyone to think oh it's so easy for them so someone else who's going through a similar situation that we had been through and that I'd been through to think everyone else is getting pregnant and I've just had a miscarriage and you know it only exacerbates other people's pain if you don't talk about such issues so in my mind i was like miscarriage is so common yet we don't talk about it and people feel so isolated in their suffering so i think it's really important because it's such an integral part of my pregnancy story that we had a miscarriage prior so that's why i felt it was important to talk about it um

it definitely changed my ability to enjoy this pregnancy um with Marley I think I spent a lot of time fearful that I was going to have a miscarriage and anytime that there was something that seemed like a speck of blood or a pain or something yeah totally anytime that there was something that seemed like it could be going wrong my first thought was it's happening again and it made it really difficult to to enjoy what an incredible experience being pregnant is um it wasn't until I probably got to about the six or seven month mark that I was like oh no this is happening like this is we are good and that I really got into the mojo of loving being pregnant so it relaxed you did relax eventually eventually until day dot no so even up until day

I think I did think that it was a possibility and you always have this underlying fear, but that fear was not irrational. It didn't take hold of me. It was just a, it was just a thought that I had from time to time. The same as I think the thought, what if my child has a disability or what if my child isn't healthy? It just crosses your mind. You do think about these things, but you also think surely it's not going to happen to me.

So I still did think about it. And I think had I not had a miscarriage, it wouldn't have probably registered on my radar at all. And I wouldn't have felt so reserved in my happiness. So how far were you when you miscarried the first time? We were within the first trimester. So we were 10 weeks. Right. So it's quite a long way along.

Yeah. It was. Like you're at the time where you're telling family. Yeah. Nine, nine, 10 weeks. it was I mean and it was just something that I didn't think would happen to me and it was something that I didn't think happened very often so I assumed there was something wrong with me I was going to say for all the women listening that I maybe have had this happen before did you

feel like you had failed because you most certainly haven't but I can only imagine that women go through this feeling of that why couldn't I keep this viable is it something I did or I think it was is there something that I've done wrong or is there something wrong with me were the two thoughts that I had but then the more that I looked into it and the more that I researched it the more I understood you know one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage and I realized how common it is which is huge it is just huge and we should be speaking about it more so I'm really glad that you are opening up about that so thank you no so you're so welcome but you know what like that was part of our journey and now we have an incredibly beautiful amazing baby girl and

it just blows my mind absolutely blows my mind and just so there's a little bit of uh like more hope for people that have maybe had a miscarriage how long after did you fall pregnant again was that was that journey hard or no we were pretty lucky and actually happened for us pretty quickly like within within two months of um losing our first pregnancy we were having another baby and so i it came as a surprise because i didn't i had no idea that i was pregnant and probably didn't think yeah that it would happen that quickly yeah so we were really lucky in that aspect yeah and um i saw actually a funny story on your instagram the other day that um you did like a question and answers and someone someone wrote in and said how do you keep the romance

alive oh my god yes about bloody nappy changing and yeah it's like sometimes we change nappies together. How do Matt and I keep the romance alive with a six week old baby? Do you know what? I'm going to say that that question probably came from someone who doesn't have a baby or hasn't had kids. Because the romance is not in the happy changing. Or maybe it's from someone who's about to have a baby and they genuinely asking that question. Honestly, it changes your relationship massively at the moment everything's about marley everything is about keeping this baby happy and healthy and and they require so much time and energy and love that you kind of feel a little bit depleted at the end of the day that you don't have a lot of like the last thing you want to do

is think about getting frisky in between the sheets oh my god when you can't vomit on you you haven't showered and you haven't slept you can't even get frisky you've got to wait for six weeks anyway but more so just Matt's counting down yeah three days left you just even just to feel romantic and feel you have any of that left to give to your partner I mean there's been days where I'm so tired that I just don't have the the energy to to give the relationship the attention that it needs however I've just found a whole new level of love for Matt it's incredible watching him oh it's incredible watching him with Marley and watching him be a dad and just feeling your heart literally want to explode because someone you love more than anything you've created a whole

new person with it's an amazing amazing experience but romance in like a sexual like oh when I be all touchy-feely sometimes I'm like do not come near me you did this keep it away but I know it's still far too raw totally but I know that that's also just an intermittent thing and that's part of the the process of having a newborn baby and then getting back into our groove and our mojo and our routines you know i can't wait for that but i'm also there's there's no pressure on yeah of course i mean you're still healing yeah like in all ways and you know in many many ways in many ways but um it really does take your relationship from it just takes it to the next level you just need to like ease into it we'll pass and be like all right just do a quick butt grab that's all

game today you're like we're working at backup and look i the question on everyone's lips well just mine actually has matt tried your breast milk oh my god do you know literally pun intended again he hasn't yet but he keeps saying he's going to so maybe ask me that again in a couple weeks time i'm surprised i really just thought he'd be a curious cat and just get straight in there i'm actually surprised he hasn't yet either because he when i was pregnant he was like i'm 100 going to try this well also seen as though he's you know wanting to get the friskiness back i thought he'd like two birds with one stone like get frisky try the breast milk no way your boobs just become like a little bait like they're not his they're not mine anymore they are they are

marley may's boobs they nobody else owns these they've got a neon sign across them which are marley may's so have you tried your breast milk i'm just curious because i wonder if it's like this sweet little almond milk well it's meant to be sweet do you want to do me put in your coffee actually i usually add honey just add some of laura's breast milk i can express you some and you can try it britney if you want haven't are you not at all curious i haven't tried it do you know what i i know that i probably will as well there hasn't been a time where i'm like today's the day that i'm gonna drink my breast milk i just have the funniest image of you just like a cow oh my god this has taken a terrible turn i'm so sorry to whoever's listening this is too much i

thought that was actually a genuine question i think i will give it a try and when i do i will report back yeah okay well I feel like we have covered a lot we totally have and I feel like we've probably covered too much in some aspects actually but Britt maybe to finish off we do finish off these episodes with our suck and our sweet for the week yeah right have you thought about this what is your suck and what is your sweet I haven't even thought about it I could probably on the spot my suck was I had to do some uh some graveyard night shifts this week oh yeah you've been working every night in the hospital I work so much yeah I think maybe people don't realize that but then also I don't get to go home and sleep in a day always because I have

she comes here and does podcasts first thing in the morning I don't feel the love for you guys oh my god don't bitch about not sleeping to me I know what that's like I can't complain because you lie to you for the rest of your life so no that was it I just had a bit of a tough week with no sleep but um the four coffees a day are helping but my sweet what could my sweet be oh actually i had a um i'm not going to mention anything going to depth but i did have a really good dm slide in this week oh but i'm not going into that wait from a boy most yeah most of your slide-ins you know the only people i get excited about was if a cute boy slid into my dm or like an rspca dog they're the two things that get me going but it wasn't the rspca dog

sliding into your dms oh hello um but usually you get some interesting characters that slide into dms but um i had one that was quite surprising and it definitely put this well if he's listening you made her week you are the sweet of her week so that's very very lovely but what was yours what's your second sweet my suck and sweet for the week okay um my suck is that i had a you know i did realize that i can't just take marley with me everywhere and that she needs to have these blocks of sleep so i did have two nights this week that were really really insane with screaming crying and i i didn't know what to do or how to handle it it was a real learning curve for being a new mom um my sweet is that marley is smiling this week is she sure she's

not just farting yeah oh my god I'm one of those mums and like it's a smile babe that's ghastly she coughs and farts at the same time it's so cute she could do anything that is super no she's definitely smiling and it just melts me every time so like waking up in the middle of the night to do a feed or to just do anything when she looks up and smiles at me I I'm dead it just kills my heart she's so wonderful yeah RIP me that is a great little so that's and you're gonna every week you know your suite's gonna be marley i know i know sorry guys if you wanted to hear about anything else i'm a new mom now and that's all i talk about so mom life well i'm super excited that the bachelor starts this week so i can't wait to watch that and give i might put my two cents in

i'm so so excited yeah we're all over it there was some actually in the promo there were like fighter jet planes i don't know if you saw mine but i played golf and then they're in a fire fighter jet i was like oh this is not right well i mean if the um if the daily mail articles from last season anything to go by i think bachelor probably exhausted their um their budget budget on the honey badger and so had no money left for date they're cool maybe maybe that's not the case of season but yeah you guys had crappy dates yeah no we had we had fun dates and you know what you could do anything activity dates yeah you could do anything with him and have fun and it was brill but i would love to go in a fighter jet just saying they weren't your big flashy dates but

It seems like they've really ramped up to, like I said, the traditional bachelor storyboard. And I am freaking excited. We're here for it. So come back and join us next week as we recap the batch and probably talk a lot more about nothing. Oh, stop it. Who's talking about nothing? We talk about life, love and all the things in between, kids.

Yeah. Hopefully I have some more dating stories for you. Thanks for joining us, guys. See you soon.