Life Uncut - LIFE UNCUT RADIO - 10th September

Episode Date: September 10, 2022

Every Saturday we are live across the country with the Life Uncut Radio show, and here are the best bits all bundled up for your listening pleasure. We are joined by our bloody funny co-host Mitch Churi and we are unpacking all things low brow and mildly important.  If you love the pod, give us a follow on @lifeuncutpodcast on instagram and join the Life Uncut Podcast Facebook Discussion group.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders, past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode is recorded on Gadigal land of the Aurora Nation. Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. And I'm Britt.

I'm Mitch. Hi guys. And this is our radio show. We are live across the country every Saturday from 10 a.m. until midday. And this is all the best bits packaged up, especially for you. We have some interesting stuff on today's episode, actually. Do we? Do you know what?

I was just thinking back, and I'm like, it's pretty sexy. It's a sexy episode. Yeah, it's a good thing that the guy who takes care of our content and everything, Richie, is on holiday, so he's not going to call us and tell us we did a terrible job. Yeah, we know we got busted. We get in so much trouble when we talk about sex too much. You can't talk about sex on the radio. Oh, and on a Saturday morning when people are driving their kids to the park.

No, you can, but there's a limit on the number of times you can drop the sex word, and I think we exceeded it. Yeah, definitely. It was a ping, ping, ping, ping, ping, ping, ping. We had some interesting sex songs. We all talk about our sort of sex song. We had some callers call out with their sex songs. We also talk about the song that Mitch Turi lost.

Whacked off. Would you say he lost his virginity? What is it? Like the very first time someone masturbates, what would you call that? Because you didn't lose your virginity, but the very first time you lost your virginity to yourself. Masturbation Virginia. No, it was my first ever climax.

Yeah. I remember, and I didn't do it properly. I whacked it like a whack-a-mole at a time zone. Because you didn't really know how to do it? No, because I got like firm and then I was like playing with it. I'm like, oh, this doesn't feel half bad. So I was just whacking it like, wow. Just flapping it around?

And it worked. How long do you think it took you to figure out the right technique? How long's American Pie the film? Two minutes, ten minutes? Two hours, ten minutes? Are you saying that the first time you masturbated properly, you had never seen it done? You had never watched anything?

No, I was very young. No, no. So you just got it hard and then just flapped it around to a song. I'm not going to spoil it. You guys need to listen to the song. It's a very questionable choice of song. Do you know what I have one thing to say about this? It's a very good song and it is ruined for me forever.

What if it was your wedding song and, oh, my God, you had to change it because all you could picture was me with my little stiffy? Wow. Let's stop. Let's stop right there. You're big, Stiffy. No, no. I'm huge, yeah. We also speak to Sonia Kruger today and we... What a segue. We're talking. I just wanted to stop talking about...

Usually it's me who enjoys these conversations and I'm moving it right along. Poor Sonia. Anyway, let's get into it. Girls, what a 24 hours it's been, huh? Well, yeah. I mean, where were you when you heard the news? About the passing of Queen Elizabeth? Absolutely.

Oh, my God. I was asleep. I sleep until 10 a.m., so I missed it. One of those people that had, like, 20 people trying to break it to me, and I had my mum, my nen messaging, aunties, but I woke up to the news. Where were you guys? I also woke up to the news, but I'm still jet-lagged, so I'm not sleeping.

So I'm waking up at, like, 4.30 a.m. So I think a lot of, I mean, a lot of you guys, a lot of family members, everyone had messages from me at an ungodly hour. The reason why I say this is because I feel like the Queen passing is one of those huge momentous moments that you always remember where you were. You know, like I was still in bed and Matt rolled over

and he was like, the Queen's died. This is what happened. And I just, it's just something that you'll always remember. It's such a weird thing to think that like for the majority of us, for all of our lives, we've had this one person who's been the head of the monarchy and now it's all changed. You just never thought someone like this would ever pass away. Like these people live forever.

You know, she's 96 years old. Did you see the double rainbow? Did you hear about the double rainbow over Buckingham Palace? Oh, it was so... Honestly, Mitch, you need to look at the pictures. It's like the Queen... It's like they're up there together looking down at each other. It's this beautiful...

Philip and the Queen. Yep, it's like this beautiful double rainbow that came... And that's what everyone's been saying. There's some gorgeous photos out there of this beautiful double rainbow that's up over Buckingham Palace, and people are saying that it's Prince Philip and the Queen back together again and united. Well, that's kind of the overarching theme is, as sad as it is,

you're right, Britt, she's 96, and she served for 70 years. She served so well. It's a celebration. It'll turn into a celebration, I think. Well, I think from now on, Enid is a celebration. Part of her mourning is to celebrate her. Yeah, well, there's 10 days of mourning, national mourning. Well, I think that's beautiful.

Well, do you know what? We thought, I mean, Queen Elizabeth has left such a legacy. She is a remarkable woman. But also there is so much about her life. Her 96 years, I think so many people don't know. There are so many things about her life that I didn't even know. Well, one of my favourite things that I learned about the Queen that I want to tell you kickstart this is she volunteered

as a mechanic in world war ii she was a mechanic she trained as a mechanic and a truck driver so we're talking 1945 there are pictures of her you put the photos up i saw them up yeah it's something i mean i've known this about the queen for a long time it was something i was thoroughly impressed by um i just think what an incredible person like how much more can you take on uh rather than being the queen then going to war and being a mechanic like what an incredible she at this time she She was 20, I know. She was 25. Oh, so like she, I mean, she was inaugurated when she was 25.

So around the same time. Yeah, it would have been. Yeah. It's absolutely incredible. Wow. Okay, I've got one for you. Yeah. This is a bit of a lowbrow one.

Prince Philip used to call her nickname, her like cutesy little baby name. Was it Lilibet? Wasn't it Lilibet? It was also Cabbage. Why? You know what? Kind of had like a round head. No, and this is endearing.

Don't insult the queen. But she had the bob and it looked like a cabbage. I don't know if that's the case. No. Well, one thing that I love was her wake-up call. Now, nobody loves an alarm clock, nobody. But the Queen, every morning at 9am, she got a royal bagpiper that would play for 15 minutes

outside her window, and now that sounds horrible. I was going to say awful. As someone that lived in Scotland, I lived in Scotland, I love the bagpipes. It just has a feeling. It signifies really nice memories for me, and I'm sure it did that for the Queen. Yeah, well, my favourite one to end on is that she'd start each day

with a gin cocktail, and she'd end each night with a dry martini. That is the legacy of Queen Elizabeth II. Did she need it to start the day with the gin because she started the day with the bagpipes?

That is my kind of woman. Maybe. Anyway, look, as we celebrate her life, I mean, there's not much else to say. We'll get more news as it comes out. What about what our producer Nat

was just telling us off air? I have a lot of feelings about this. Nat, what happened to you? So I was getting my eyelashes done and you know when that happens, they're right over your face. Like they're invading your personal space,

but there's nothing you can do about it. It's just part of getting your eyelashes done. So she's doing them and I could just, at one point I smelt something and I'm like, is that what I think it is? Like it smelt, like you know when you can tell it's come from the depths of someone's stomach?

So I was like, hang on. Because you've got your eyes closed. Well, yeah, you can't open your eyes. So I was like, either someone's cooking in this room or she's just burped, but I'm not sure. So I'm going to let it go at this point. And I just kept getting wafts of definite burp smell. And then it got to the point where she obviously just needed

to let it go and she let out the biggest belch that i've ever heard in my life and then just didn't acknowledge it carried on threading wait so she okay she didn't move away from your face like did you feel air did you feel air brush onto your face or did you just hear it and then she completely pretended like it didn't happen i definitely felt at least one hair move when it was huge do you think maybe she was just trying to quick dry the lashes with the mist oh ew do you know okay this is it's very different it's very very different but it's something that happened recently when i went to go and get a different kind of service done um i went to go and have a pap smear recently yeah medical and the doctor he was quite an

older man uh would have been like you know i shouldn't say he's older but like you know older than me so he was there he was in his he was older he was 37 let's say he was he was in 60s and he was all he was crying and I walked in I was like oh god I feel a bit uncomfortable and he's like lay down here on the bed and I lay down on the bed and then I look like you know take your pants off as you do perhaps me you got to get all ready

put your feet together open your knees look up and he's got a picture of Leonardo DiCaprio when he was young in his 20s stuck to the roof on the ceiling stuck to the roof I think this is great what's the problem Leonardo DiCaprio is a babe why would I want to feel aroused when you've got prongs

by a young Leonardo DiCaprio when I've just got a clamp? It probably relaxes you. No. I'm sorry. It instantly made me go, like, what is this trying to infer? Where is this going? We know that Leo only likes women under 25.

Yeah, he sees me as, like, his mother, literally. Yeah, he would be like, there's this older woman who's getting a pap smear and looking at me. Okay, I want to know, surely there's other people out there who have experienced whether it's being burped in the face or had to lay down and be touched whilst Leonardo was looking at you. Whatever's happened, what weird experience have you had when you've been getting served?

Does that sound great? Customer service. Yeah, for a service you were paying for. How about that? Whilst being served. Whilst being, not divorce papers. Not by a lawyer, no. Now, producer Nat Penfold out there in the phone room

revealed to us just before she was getting her eyebrows threaded and the threader, what do you call them, the service? The kind of lashes did. I think they call it a lash technician. Oh. The lash technician belched into her face. Yeah, I call her a dirty pig. She burped in her face.

I just think the weirdest thing about it, it's not the burp, but it's the pretending it didn't happen. Well, because when you, I mean, for anyone who doesn't know, if you get your eyelashes done, you have your eyes kind of like glued shut at the same time. So Nat couldn't open her eyes to confirm or deny where the belch had come from. So we're taking your calls.

What happened? What horrific thing happened where you were paying for a service, customer service moments, right? Absolutely. I'm sure we're going to get some doozies. I'm sure we will out of Courtney. Hi, you're on the air. What's your customer service moment from hell?

So I was going through drive-thru with my dad, and I was a passenger, so I was distributing the burgers in the car, and I opened his burger to check it was the right one, and there was a bite taken out of the burger. And it definitely wasn't from anyone else in the car? It came from the window, the drive-thru window? No, yeah, from the bag. Anyway, I took it back in,

and the 16-year-old that was at the counter accused me of taking a bite out of the burger and then returning it to get an extra bite of burger. So did they give you the burger back in the end or did you have to have a biteless burger that someone else's saliva had touched? No, no, they gave me a new burger, but I think someone must have returned it

and instead of putting it in the bin, they've put it in the bag and given it back out. This is wild. Imagine being accused that we're trying to get a free bite. Can't do that in COVID times anymore. Burgers aren't expensive. Anyway, Caitlin on 131065, Five, what's your customer service story from hell?

Okay, so where I was working at the time, a customer handed me some cash and I was looking at one of the notes because it didn't look quite right. So one of the tricks I've heard in retail is you can scrunch up the note and if it pops back out, you know it's like a legitimate note.

So I'm there scrunching it up, having a look at it, couldn't figure out, it just didn't seem quite right. It was really discoloured and it was covered in grass. and I said to this particular customer, I said, oh, what has happened to this note as I'm flicking it through every one

of my fingers, touching it, flipping it over? And he turned around and said to me, oh, well, my cow ate it and shat it back out, so I've just poured it in to change it over. I was not expecting you to say that. Died in my face and I just dropped the cash on the counter. That's so good. And just looked at him and said, are you for real? So did he want to...

Yeah, I got another $5 note because I've got to bring in once I find it. So did he want to buy anything or did he just ask you to swap it out because he didn't want a poopy note? Just wanted to swap it out. Do you know what, though? People drink coffee out of monkey bums,

so I think it's fine. Yeah, true, true. Worse things have happened. All right, Megan, last one for us. What is your customer service story from hell? Go for it. So when I was about 18, I worked as a checkout chick at Woolies

and I served a lady and all she bought was a massive cucumber and some lube And that was on Valentine's Day. And you're like, no. You go get it, girl. Live your best life. Good for her.

No, I feel like. I was like, have a great night. Surely she was doing this as a set up, like to give you a chuckle. This is like, okay, if you're going to do that, you're going to buy a few extra things, you know, get some cat food. Disguise it, yeah. Some nappies. Guys, give her the benefit of the doubt.

She was having a Greek salad for dinner and then she was going to go get frisky. I don't know about that. Laura, are you happy to have Brittany Hockley back in the studio? We have missed you, Brittany, and it has been a long, dry walk in the desert without you. Excuse you. I think we've had a great two weeks. No, we've had a great...

It's been three weeks, Mitch. I'm glad that you remember them all so well. One of them you're a bit sick for, and I feel like you've suppressed the memory. I have. The Chondricolden flu has wiped my brain clean. But we have missed you. Well, I love that we turned up today, Laura,

wearing the exact same thing, black tights and a white jumper that says Life Uncut. To be fair, we're wearing Life Uncut merch. We're really repping what's happening here. But Britt, you have been away from the radio show, from the podcast for three weeks now, and you have been off doing something very exciting. And originally I thought we were going to have to lie through our teeth

and not tell anyone where she's been. But why don't you go ahead and tell everyone what you've actually been doing? Well, I went away and I'm so glad that they released this on TV, like the publicity is out so I can talk about it to an extent. But I went away and filmed a new reality TV show that is hitting Australian TV very soon. It's an MTV show called The Challenge.

The very first time it's on in Australia, but it's like, what, it's like 36 seasons deep in the US. Very popular hit over there. So, yeah, it's going to be, I don't know how it's going to go over here. Okay, so I have a question for you. I know that the American one, they win, like, some serious, serious money. Oh, they win like a million dollars. That's nuts.

I saw an article that the Australian one is only $100,000. Oh, it's always the way. Well, I don't want to say anything, but have you noticed that I am dripping in design? I was going to say, have you noticed? I have diamond earrings on. She's wearing a beanie and a merch shirt that she got for free. It's my own brand.

Is it a cross between Survivor and... Do you know what? Imagine if Survivor and SAS and then I'm a Celebrity and The Amazing Race and Big Brother all had an orgy. And the Great British Bake Off. Well, they had an orgy. And you don't know that they're antique show as well. And do you know what?

A bit of The Bachelor as well. Imagine they all had an orgy and you don't know who actually impregnated who and then they had a baby. What I want to know is did any of the Bachelor people who were on the show actually have an orgy? There's a real question for you. Oh, no, there's no orgies. There were hookups for sure.

Did you have any love affairs on the show? If there's been some love affairs that unfolded, was any of them, including Brittany Hockley? I am done with love on TV. Yeah, that's what I will say. I just, I think those days are done. That is not a yes or a no. That to me reeks of like, I tried it again

and it didn't work out, so now I'm done. I feel like I've been burned at the stake in the past. That is me done and dusted, blabbing my hands of it. It is coming. It's going to be Channel 10, 10 play in late 2022. We're excited to see you win, Britt. That's so exciting. We're very glad to have you back.

It's good to have you. Hey, guys, up next, TV superstar Sonia Kruger is hanging out. We love Sonia on the show. She's a superstar. She's such a sweetheart. I absolutely love speaking to Sonia. We've got to find out the worst TV show she's ever worked on next at the Lifetime Cut.

What is it? That's true. I want to ask her. I know. I love that. We just go, we're so pessimistic. Don't go to the best show. Go to the crappiest.

That's the worst thing that's ever happened to you. Right now joining us, the hostess with the mostest. Quite literally, I think that expression was built for our guest. The one and only host of Dancing With The Stars, Big Brother, The Voice Australia. She's a mum to her daughter Maggie. The one and only Sonia Kruger. Sonia, we're so stoked to have you on the show today.

But my first question is, how did you make time for us today? Because I feel like we're seeing you absolutely everywhere. You're hosting every show on TV. You know what? Here's the big secret. I actually shot a lot of it last year. So I think I've been kind of kicking back, which has been really nice because I've had, you know,

a lot more time to spend with mummy, with mummy, with Matthew and do this mummy thing. And mummy too. My own mummy I haven't seen recently, but I plan on catching up with her soon. So, yeah, it's been nice just to kind of like chill down for a little bit. It does get busy again for me sort of at the end of October

and then October, November, December, it kind of ramps up. So, yeah, I'm enjoying a little bit of quiet time. Out of all the shows that you have done, what has been the one that you disliked the most? Oh, disliked? Okay. Are you going to give us that info? Everyone always wants to know your fave.

I struggled a bit on Holy Molly and it was one of those shows they shoot overnight but it's all shot at night time so you can't start shooting. until like 8 or 9 o'clock and then you kind of shoot until the sun comes up. And I had never really done that graveyard shift before and I'm not sure I'd ever want to do it again. So, you know, it's just those hours, they're hard.

You know, I feel for the shift workers out there because that is hard. Sonia, I'm an emergency worker 13 years. I have done those night shifts for 13 years so I very much feel your pain. But, Sonia, it is Women's Health Week And you are the, I mean, I'm sorry, but you are the epitome of health. You look absolutely incredible.

You do have your app, Strictly You Fitness. What does a day in the life look like for you? And what I'm basically asking is how can I look like you? That's really, really kind. I think I'm like everyone else out there who's probably, you know, gone up and down with their weight all through COVID. For me, there was nothing out there that was really fun, really good fun. And dancing is something I've always loved.

It's also a great way to stay fit and healthy and it engages your brain, which we know is good for us going forward. So I thought I'm going to do this dance-based fitness app. And I was lucky to work with some great nutritionists and some personal trainers. We've just launched our 12-week challenge, which has been our most successful challenge so far. The last lot of people that went through it, our winner lost 15 kilos. Yeah, that is so...

Well, now we know you're going to be hosting The Biggest Loser next time. That's the next show that's on the ranks. I feel like you're just describing my Saturday nights like the old Brittany out on the dance floor. Exactly. I have one quick question. As someone who's like,

I'm hell-bent to get in shape for my wedding, which is now only six weeks away or seven weeks away. I've really left it. What is the one thing that you recommend we should do as a priority if we want to get back in shape? What's the one thing? Dance. Apart from dancing.

But, like, I can't dance everywhere all day. No, you can't. You can't. But you can move. You can sort of make sure that you get your step count in there. I can do that. You can make sure that... We're all wriggling around right now as you're talking.

Yes, exactly. Learn more about Strictly You Fitness by Sonia Kruger and to strictlyyou.com.au to sign up now. Very good. Sonia Kruger, we love you. Actually, can you stick around for a game we play? I'm squatting, son. called Headlines.

We have a whole bunch of headlines. Some are real, some are fake. It's your job to debunk. We'll do it next, yeah? Love it. Sonia, this is a game we play with all of our guests on Life Uncut. You need to guess which of these headlines about you

are actually real and have been printed or are they head lies? You know, we've thrown some spicy ones in there, but I'm going to kick straight off. Sonia Kruger to host Australia's hottest new reality TV show, Keeping Up With The Katashians. Now, this is a show that is about live streaming cats. Is this true?

Are you hosting a show about the Katashians? This is definitely not true. No. No. In fact, I need to actually keep up with the Kardashians. I haven't even been able to watch that. So, yeah, I would be a bit perpetuated. I mean, I would probably watch this.

Okay, I've got another one. Sonia Kruger unveils new wolf cut hairdo and it drives fans wild. This is true. My sister's a hairdresser and I was talking to her about getting my hair cut. She's like, oh, you should do this with the wolf cut. I'm like, well, what is that? So it's really, it's like a modern day mullet is what it is. And now I've started howling at the moon and I've got hairy knuckles.

So it's really weird. Sonia, if anyone can pull off a mullet, I feel like it's you. A modern mullet Sonia Kruger swears three times On Dancing With The Stars All stars during a PG time slot Oh Bloody hell

That's true What happened Son? Okay it was It was the B word It was the B word Oh that's fine I think I might have been talking about The competitiveness of the dancers

and how Ricky would cut it if she didn't get through. And it was just fun. And sometimes I also would say things in the room, just for the room. Unfortunately, some of those things went to air. I mean, I feel like that part is not your fault. If it makes you feel any better, my very first day on radio, I said the F word three times. Yeah, I got it, and that was in the first ten minutes.

And look, we're all still working, so it's worked out well for all of us. One more. Sonia Kruger makes X-rated... Look, I feel like this is a common theme. Makes X-rated slip-up on The Morning Show. I think it's true. I think it's true. I think I made an assertion to my sister's air-dressing bus

when I went to say she does a great blow wave, but I think I said she does a great blow... Oh, you didn't! This was only two weeks ago, so I feel like you've tried to suppress the memory. How many people slid into your sister's DMs after that? She actually, her business skyrocketed. It was amazing.

I bet it did. She was out for months. Oh, I can imagine. All right, Sonia, you're a superstar. You can learn more about the Strictly You Fitness out by Sonia Kruger. Head to strictlyyou.com.au to sign up. And, of course, it is Women's Health Month.

Month a week. Is it a whole month? It's a week. I think it should be a month. I think it should be a year. That's my statement. It should be a month. Thank you, Sonia.

Thanks for coming on. Thank you, guys. Thanks so much. Love you. See you, Sonia. Thanks, Sonia. Ladies, have you guys seen this trend on TikTok? It's probably the most viral TikTok at the moment in this country.

I seem to miss a lot of trends on TikTok. It's because you're not on TikTok. Yeah, there you go. No, because TikTok trends all make it to the gram. They all make it to Instagram. And then our show. Yeah. It usually takes about a few weeks, though,

so we're certainly not the early adopters. What's the trend? It's a trickle down. Okay, so I'll play you the song in a sec. I have played it for you a bit before, but I'll tell you why it's going viral, okay? So this TikTok user posted this. They said,

My girlfriend, who's 20 years old, has told me, we've been together two years, that the music that he plays, it's a male and a female, during sex is a major turn-off. And she waited two years to tell him that after being in a relationship, a loving relationship, she hates it. I have so many questions about this. Okay, firstly, one, what is the song? Obviously, they play it.

Once you hear the song, I think it all makes sense. So apparently a little back story, he said, when I first started making love, he researched better ways because he was a virgin. and this song came up as potentially a song to play. So this is the song that turns his girlfriend off in the bedroom. Have a listen. Hang on.

That's the song. Am I at a techno dance party or where am I? No, but this feels like sad sex, like sad, happy sex. I don't get it. You know what I don't get about that? The pace of that is very slow. If you're picking your music to be making love, that's quite like... Sorry, and are you also trying to keep it in beat?

Because are you going with the dun-dun-dun-dun-dun or are you keeping with the bass beat? But what about the last drag out? Is that like one long thrust? That's the climax. Well, this is why it's going viral. He said, I read online that you play music and you match the rhythm and I like techno music.

So to put on a better performance, he matched his thrusting to the beat. Oh, that is so distracting. Hang on. It's the end bit for me. Like, what manoeuvre is he performing in a five-second... That's what I want to know. I just... Could you imagine laying there, like, having a snuggle,

you know, doing the horizontal dance of love, and them matching that with their thrusting? Like, that... Please stop playing it! Do you guys have a sex song? No. Do you know what? I remember a story.

Mitch Turi has an interesting song from the first time. Oh, no, that's not my sex song. Don't throw me out there for that. The first time you discovered that maybe touching yourself felt good. You say it as if I had just realised it maybe a month ago. Also, can we put some context around this? When we first met Mitch and we were all sharing very personal stories that probably should stay between the three of us,

but now we'll tell them on our national radio, Mitch told us a story about the very first time he discovered himself and the song that was playing. Can we hit it, Mitch? Yeah, okay. It was this song, yeah. I was watching American Pie and I was confused by the feelings. So did you have an apple pie and play this song?

Oh, that's too much. It's a very intimate song, isn't it? It is. There's a real connection. So what about this song? Because to me, I want to meditate and go to bed. You cannot move your hand in that gesture while you... I talk with my hands, Mitch, much like you.

What about this song got you going? because to me it's a very relaxing slow song. No, it's more so what was happening. If you've seen American Pie, they lose their virginity while that song's playing and it got me going and now I just adventured. I thoroughly enjoy the lyrics though, don't come and go, because he certainly was.

Unless you're Mitch. Okay, all right, let's get other people. This is making me awkward. What's your unusual sex song? Let's go there, don't you think? What is the, what's the terrible song that you have sex to? I'd do a Barry White.

Oh, you like Barry White? Which really? What if I had to pick off the top of my head? Oh. Nobody's having actual sex to this. That's not true. Only in movies. I used to.

My life is a movie. I used to have a bit of a playlist, and mine was Ed Sheeran. I think I used to have a bit of Ed Sheeran going on in the background. I mean, but that's very mainstream. Yeah, but I don't know. Shape of you. Yeah, just not. You know what?

You could update to Lewis Capaldi, but let's find out other people's sex off. No, I want weird. Weird rhythms, weird beats, creepy lyrics. Because I think we all need to update. We can all agree we all need an updated sex song. I agree. Laura's just discovered a new sex song. Oh, look, if you're just joining us, lucky you.

What a time. So Mitch has just told us that there's a new TikTok trend happening and it is all around a guy who's been playing a very specific song when he's having sex with his girlfriend. And this is the song. I wouldn't even call it a song. Like a broken trumpet. It literally sounds like a trumpet, a guy that got kicked out of the band.

That's what it is. We wanted to know what was your weird, unconventional, weirdly-rhythmed, weird-lyriced sex song. So we put the call out. We've got Kirsten on 131065. Hi, Kirsten, what's your weird bedroom song? Hey, so my bedroom song is the Top Gun Anthem. The Top Gun Anthem.

Yes. Powerful. I'm literally adding that to my playlist as we speak. This is what a power move, Kirsten, what a power move. Do you do it to start it? Or at the end? Oh, look, if I do it before, I do it before to get in the mood and then it's during and then, you know, that final end bit,

that climax, then it really goes off. I love that you have it on repeat. Just no shuffle for you. I don't think it's repeat. I think she just has the one song. She climaxes at the end and that's it. Get the cut bit. Probably, yeah.

All right, thank you, Kirsten. All right, Alana on 131065. Hi, Alana, what's your sex song? Days in the Sun by Ziggy Elbert. Oh, it's very fast tempo. Bang, bang, bang. Sorry, too much. Okay, so this song is my dating profile song.

I have a connection to this as well. Why? It's very uplifting. It makes me feel good, and I think that people would look at it and also feel good. Actually, I get why it's a sex song. Everyone's feeling good. I don't want to be uplifted in the bedroom, physically or mentally.

Literally. Yeah, literally. All right, thank you, Alana. That's quite romantic. That's a nice one. That's a sweet one. Paige on 131065. Hi, Paige.

What's your sex song? My sex song is the Rocket League soundtrack. What's that? Oh, dear God. What are you doing in the bedroom, Paige? Paige, I feel like there's some serious pumping going on here. Oh, look, it plays a lot of different songs, but basically every time I would go over to my boyfriend's place,

we would play heaps of Rocket League, especially during lockdown. and instead of changing the music and putting on something nice, we would just leave on the Rocket League soundtrack. Well, I feel like this is the kind of... This isn't lovemaking. This is, like, thrown against the wall, in the shower, upside down, handstands. This is, like, this is energetic.

This is make-up sex songs. Yes. Angry make-up sex. Yes. Lust. Yeah, we basically had to put something on because his mum was in the next room, so it was either that or...

Well, she's not going to think you get lucky with this music in the background. Definitely not. All right, thank you, Paige. Let's end on Hannah. Hi, Hannah. What's your sex song? Take it home for us. Hey, guys, my sex song is Defying Gravity from a musical Wicked.

Hang on, what's this? From Wicked. Yes, from Wicked. Who are you having sex with to this song? So I took a girl home one night. I thought I was playing my sexy playlist and this song came on and we just really vibed to it and now we're together and it's our sex song.

Oh, so now it's like, now it has meaning and it's so big. Can I ask you a personal question? Can you only, like, in quotations, love make to this song? Because I feel like you can't do anything quite energetic because it just doesn't fit the theme. Yes, yes, definitely. It's a making love song, not like when you, you know, want a bit of a rougher sex.

That's not kind of the song that you want to listen to. I feel like you guys also have to dress up in costumes and do a musical whilst this is on at the same time. I think that sort of kills the mojo, no? Yeah, and you two should steer clear of the state theatre and not go and watch Wicked because that'd get real messy real quickly. It would get pretty messy if we were.

All right, thank you for your calls. We have some weird listeners. Yeah. No, I love it. I'm here for all that. I'm adding all those ads Wicked to my playlist now as well. Oh, you know, next time it's blasting at Brittany's house what's going on.

We can't enter. Wicked's on. Ladies, are you ready for an Ask Uncut? Shall we do one? I love an Ask Uncut. Let's go. Ask Uncut. Tell me what you want, what you really, really want.

So Ask Uncut is what we do on the podcast every week on our Thursday episode. It's where we answer all of your messed up, your deep, your dark and your burning questions. So we have a doozy for you today. Yeah, look, I have an interesting one

that I think, I reckon this has happened to a few people. If your partner leaves you after 3.5 years because they, quote, don't love you anymore, but then a few months later

realise they made a mistake and want to come back, do you think they really realise this? Do you think they just miss part of my life? Do I give them another go? do they love me do they not how can you how can you say you don't love someone and then all of a sudden say oh i made a mistake a month later that's really hard isn't it like about okay

i do think that he maybe he said you know i'm not in love with you anymore i don't want to be with you and then he's gone away experienced the world and realized the world the grass is not that much greener on the other side and then he's realized he's made a terrible mistake and wants to get back with you now i don't think it's so much believing or not believing whether he's saying I love you I think it's more a case of if someone has said I don't want to be with you and then they've left but they've come back and want another chance and you want to be with them you want to give them another chance I think it's more so about like protecting yourself and putting a bit of distance there in terms of like taking it really slowly not jumping straight back into

the relationship where you were because I think that then you risk going getting all back in putting all your energy all your effort getting right back to where you were and then three weeks later, they turn around and say, actually, no, I was right. I'm not in love with you. I'm going to leave again. And then you got to go through that heartbreak a second time. I think there's obviously a little bit of confusion on your partner's side. Now, maybe it's not that they actually fell out of love with you. That might not have been a thing. Maybe they thought they did, but they might've been a bit overwhelmed with life, the situation. They might've got cold feet for a hot second. There might've been a lot of stress in life. Maybe they mistook another feeling

thinking like, oh, I have all these other external sources. I don't think I love you. I don't think want to be with you kind of thing left and then realized oh that's not what that was yeah sometimes i don't love you isn't really what they mean but it's the easiest way to get out of that situation it's hard to go back to a relationship though when someone's after three years is like i don't love you anymore then they're like oh actually i do i feel like the whole time i'd be like well well it's emotional emotional whiplash right but that's why i think you know if you are wanting to give this relationship another shot if you're wanting to go through the motions again you just have to do it slowly you can't jump straight back into where you were before he said i don't love you

Which you're going to want to do because you still love them. Yeah, it's definitely a tricky one. Would you, both of you, Misha and Laura, if your respective partners now, Hayden and Maddie J, said they don't love you anymore and left and they wanted to come back in three months' time, how would you feel about that? Well, I have kids with Matt, so I think...

Yours is different, yeah. Kids add a different element, you know, because, like, obviously, you know, I really want us to have a family unit and I would give it a second shot for that because, you know, it's something I didn't have growing up and it's something I really want for my kids. But if he was to turn around again and be like, oh, I'm not sure, I'm confused, I'd be like, oh, dear buddy,

just go and figure out yourself and figure out what you want and then when you're solid, maybe, you know, we'll see where this can go. Yeah, and Hayden and I have a really expensive Smeg toaster, so it would also be very hard. Cut it down the middle. It's too hard to divide. It's too hard.

One gets the jug, one gets the toaster. You're easy. We can't afford the jug. We just got the toaster. I know what I'm getting you for Christmas. Hey. All right, if you've got to ask uncut for the girls, hit us up, Life Uncut Podcast.

Slide into those DMs. Well, that is it from us. Another Saturday show done and dusted and wrapped up all pretty in a nice, sexy little cover. Yeah. Do you know why I say that? What are you holding in your crotch? Brittany, look what I've got.

Oh, my God. It's our book. Is that our book? Show me. Here it is. Okay, this must be very confusing. Let me see. I want to hold it.

Yes, very confusing for everyone in their cars. Does that smell like love or what? Oh, that smells like, that was in your bag. That actually smells like baby food as well. And rusk stick. Okay, so what we're talking about is Britt and I, over the last 18 months, we've been writing a book. It is called We Love Love.

It's been published through Penguin Publishers. And it's finally, we got our first copies. Yay! It's a real-life publisher. We didn't self-publish it. We didn't do it off the in-jay printer at home. What's it about? Because it's thick.

It's a thick book. Well, what it is is we've taken a look back at our life. It's the podcast in book form, but we wanted to touch on some things we haven't touched on in the podcast, and there are a lot of things that Laura and I delved deep personally on. What are some of those things, Britt? There's a lot of things. It's a book and there's stuff in it.

You're dodging. There's pages and there's a good index. There's a great index. The blurb. I think it's a really great multitude of things. It's a lot of emotional, serious parts. Then there are some really, really funny, sexy, lighthearted parts, from breakups to pregnancy loss.

There is, you know, Attachment Styles. It's such a comprehensive book that's all around self-love. It's all around bettering your relationships and it is currently available for pre-sale. So if you want to get yourself one, you can jump onto lifeuncutpodcast.com.au to get yourself a pre-order copy. Yeah, please don't miss out and don't forget,

tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends and share the love because we love love. See you next week.