Life Uncut - LIFE UNCUT RADIO - 19th Nov

Episode Date: November 19, 2022

Every Saturday we are live across the country with the Life Uncut Radio show, and here are the best bits all bundled up for your listening pleasure. We are joined by our bloody funny co-host Mitch Churi and we are unpacking all things low brow and mildly important. If you love the pod, give us a follow on @lifeuncutpodcast on instagram and join the Life Uncut Podcast Facebook Discussion group.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders, past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode is recorded on Gadigal land of the Aurora Nation. Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany.

I'm Mitch. And this is our radio show, our Saturday morning radio show, where we package up all the best bits, all the funny bits, all the bits that weren't terrible, and we bring them to you. There's a lot of bits in there. Oh, like every bit. Some of Mitch's bits are in there as well. We've got a couple of great guests.

Why don't you just point down downwards to my bits? As far as I know, Mitch, there's little bits aren't in there, but Mitch added some comments. Oh, you don't need to be mean to him like that. He's little bits. I thought that's what you were. I thought it was, okay, I missed it. They're proportionate.

I'm six foot three. You are a big boy. Pete Davidson, I think you. Pete Davidson. Do I say his name right? It's Pete Davidson. You're so worried. Yeah, Pete Davidson.

Why do you always think that that's wrong? Pete Davidson. I don't know why, but for some reason he doesn't look like a Pete Davidson to me. I keep thinking it's Davidson, which is not a name. That's not even a name. You have BDE just like he does. And we speak about that in the show. Do you think I've got BDE?

I reckon you've got a bit of BDE. I don't. Oh, Mr. Missy. Producer Missy, what do you think? What do you think? I was just thinking. I think. Oh, well, if you've got a thing.

Yeah, I think. No, actually, you do. I think you do. I'm going to coin a new term. I think you have BHE. What's that? Big Hair Energy. Oh, I don't want that.

Yeah, I'd rather a big dick. I'd rather a big penis. The BDE is not always a good thing, guys. Sometimes people have BDE, are wankers. No. It's not always a good thing. I disagree with that because I think the BDE has nothing. Like someone who has BDE, if they're a wanker, it's not BDE then

because BDE is this like subtle confidence. Do I have BDE? No. Can women have BDE? Yeah, women can have BDE. So why don't I have it then? Why don't you have it? No, you do.

No, I take it back. I had to think about it because I was like, no, we're talking about it. I was being very gender specific. I take it back. You've got BDE. We all do. Look at us being so secretly and subtly confident. Well, we do have a couple of great guests coming on the show.

We have Conrad Bien, he's on MTV, The Challenge right now, Channel 10, The Challenge with myself. You guys know who he is. He's from The Batch. He went through a breakup with Abby. He came out as pansexual recently. So we're going to chat to him. No, no, we're not going to chat to him, Laura.

Britt and Conrad, there's something going on between those two. Don't start that. No, I think there is. Mitch, you are so full of it. Mitch, it's one thing to bait the radio audience. Don't go and try and bait our podcast audience. There's nothing going on, everyone. There's nothing going on with them.

Conrad and I, I adore him. I think he's a great friend. He's a really great person. And we're going to ask him about some stuff that went down. Yeah, we treat the radio audience differently. We're like, oh, something's happening. We don't bait and switch like you radio people. Yes, the poor podcast people.

I'm getting used to the change. We have one of your favourite people coming on too, comedian Alan Carr. Oh, my God. When this came through, I got so excited. I admire Alan Carr, truly. I adore him so much. And we spoke to him. He was great.

He called you outlaws. No, I feel like I called him out. Which part? Laura called him. What did you call him? I can't remember. Now it's gone. No, you accused him of flogging people.

He said he has guests on his show and they always are so nice to him because they're flogging stuff. And I was like, oh, what are you flogging? Because he was so nice to us. And he was like, oh, come on in. He's like, I'm coming on your show and you're burning me. It's very funny. So that's on there.

He is wonderful. But also we're talking a bit of wedding stuff. We're talking about what are the terrible gifts that you got given. It doesn't have to be a wedding. It could have been at your birthday party, whatever it was. Matt and I got given something very unusual, not to seem ungrateful, but look, it was a strange gift from the wedding and I want to talk about it. I'll happily take it.

And all of that is coming up. So let's get into the show. It's the Life on Car radio show. Welcome to Saturday Morning. Brittany Hockley, Laura Byrne, all thanks to the 2022 NAV AFLW Season 7 Final Series. It's on now. Get your tickets.

They're selling fast. Women's.afl slash tickets. Well, someone got married here this week and was not a new. What a mystery. Was not me, was not Mitch Turi. Who could it be? That leaves the one and only Laura Byrne Johnson. Oh, do you know, I said this last week,

but I'm not going to be Laura Johnson. I'm going to stay Laura Byrne. Just because Mrs. Johnson sounds so old. I feel like it has to have been. I've only been to two other weddings, but it had to have been the wedding of the year. It was, I mean, there was not a dry eye in the house. I know, you cried, I cried, Maddie cried.

Laura cried, May cried. I think Buster, the three-legged dog, cried. There was, oh. It was also chaos because, you know, they say never work with kids or animals and we had everything there. You had both. We had doves, we had doves.

We had doves. But we had an eagle. We had my three-legged dog went down the aisle first. Then we had a, like, a herd of children. There was five flower girls. Your kids looked gorgeous in their white little skirts and they sat to the ground. They looked like mushrooms.

You couldn't see their limbs. They were floating on the floor. They were so cute. The worst part is, and no one tells you this, when you're sitting, because I was sitting in a car while everybody else was walking. A limo, a white limo. It was an ode to The Bachelor.

While everyone was walking down the aisle, I couldn't see them, so I couldn't see the girls walking down the aisle, and I feel like that was a part that I really wanted to see. I did video that for you, though. I do have that video, and I'm sure the videographer got it, but you know what my favourite part was? What? Usually a lot of people just do their first dance, right?

They do a waltz. They sway, they bring each other in. It's beautiful, it's emotional, it's a moment. You guys did do that for about 10 seconds. And then we had a real gotcha moment, didn't we? And then the beat dropped and it was like a full-on choreographed Whitney Houston, oh, I want to dance. Did you go to dance classes for that?

Okay, so part of me thought that this might be really lame. Like we went and we did full-on dance classes to learn a choreographed dance. When you say it out loud, it sounds incredibly lame that that's what we did. We, like, performed for our wedding guests and then everyone had to clap for us. But I'm so glad we did it. It was so much fun. Yeah, you guys were great. Like, it truly was such...

And the location, where was it? South Coast, New South Wales. It was in Mollymook. We'd been trying to, like, fool the audience saying it was up the coast. No, it was down south near Ulladulla. And you didn't fool anyone. The paparazzi were there. But then...

In a bush. What about the Champagne Tower? Oh, so you walk into this gorgeous vineyard. It's overlooking a vineyard, right? You've got the beautiful gravel seats with the family. and then you've got the archway, white roses. So much, so many flowers. So much white.

And then whose choice was it to have a champagne tower? Okay, look, this is, I regret this. That's probably the one thing that I regret. It took so long. So I really wanted this champagne tower because I had seen somebody else's wedding on Instagram. Just to have the moment. On Pinterest.

I literally had seen a Pinterest photo of somebody pouring champagne into a champagne tower and I was like, God, that looks so beautiful. It takes so long. Do you know how long it took? It was like seven bottles of wine and by the end of it, everyone was looking at their phones. No, you guys actually, the funny thing was,

Matty J stopped, right? You kept pouring the champagne tower from the top. He just cracked it, got three bottles at a time and went to the bottom layer, just filled the glasses up and then did a runner. He also just started drinking straight out of the bottle as well. Oh, but like, you know what? The thing with weddings is you spend so long organising it

and then it's over in a day. And then you've lost $100,000. No, I did not lose that much money, Jesus. Did you have fun though? Your bank account is very sad. What was one question? What was your favourite part? Obviously the vows maybe or that moment where you actually said I do?

My favourite part would have had to have been the ceremony. I know it sounds silly because I feel like the ceremony is meant to be the formalities, but the ceremony was so fun. Like it was crazy with like the kids just pulling flowers and stuff out of the arbour and it felt like chaos, but it felt very much like our family. Controlled chaos. And I loved it.

I loved it so much. But you know what one thing that happened? Mitch Turi, I know I said no gifts, but there was a gift in my wishing well that was a very peculiar one and I'm wondering if it was from you. Oh, well, no, because I left my suitcase at home with a gift in it, so I haven't given you my gift yet. Sorry.

You don't even have it. Okay, all right, all right. Well, with that out of the way, that's going to be awkward for someone for my wedding who's listening to this. Hopefully they're not. But I received a very, very strange gift. Okay, well, let's find out.

Good or bad? Very bad. Really? I was going to say, if it was good, it was me. If it was bad, it wasn't. A terrible gift. All right. Talking Laura's wedding last week, seven days ago.

Oh, God. Are we still talking about it? We are still talking about it. I mean, it's only been a week and it's the first show back. Of course we're still talking about it. Do you know what? I will relive that day for forever. My bank account will never let me relive it ever again.

Even if we get divorced one day, we're never going to. Was it all really expensive? Never, ever. Oh, it's just everything. As soon as you say wedding, every supplier's like, oh, we'll charge an extra $1,000 for that just because it's a wedding. But the wishing well, you get cash money, right? You should have said it was a funeral and then people would have given us a discount.

Hey, you did get my, you just made a comment before a fair. You were like, you literally said, what did I get you? Did you not get my card and money? Because that's concerning. Do you know? Because there's a lot of money in that. Okay, I have, oh gosh, now I'm sorry. Is there a thief at the wedding?

I haven't opened, no, I haven't actually opened the cards from the wishing well yet because we've been so busy that we can't, and so Matt's sister. I'll take it back then. Please don't. So Matt's sister brought home the wishing well, right, with all the presents and things in it. What is a wishing well? What's the premise of it? It's, I don't know.

I think it's where people will put their well wishes in, like cards and money. It's a fancy way to be like, don't give us a present, give us a card and money. Give me money. That's what it is. Okay, before I say this story to you guys, I want to make this very clear. We did not want any presents. We very much said, just come.

Your presents is the only presents we need. Oh, you didn't say that, did you? No, well, I didn't get that. She said that to me twice. I didn't get the memo. No, we didn't want anything, right? A lot of people were incredibly generous, gave us like beautiful cards with money inside.

We haven't opened them all yet, but there is one gift that I want to tell you about. Look, I'm hoping that the person who came to the wedding doesn't hear this, but also they didn't put their name on it, so I don't know who it was from. Oh, no. Okay, rogue present. That's weird as well, first off the bat.

Okay, maybe the card fell off. Wrapped up nicely with a bow around it in red paper was a drink bottle and a bottle of spiced chutney. That was a wedding gift that we got given. Oh, you know what's happened? They've gotten that from, you know, the $2 stall at the Fate? You know the kids' Fate where you have to go? That's what that is.

I'm not kidding. It feels like something that goes into a Christmas hamper and they've just pulled out two things. why one drink bottle? There's two of us. Yeah. Are we meant to share it? Maybe they think you share it.

Yeah, maybe it's a romantic, like joining together by the drink bottle. But also it's kind of like one of those drink bottles that you would get branded. You know how like sometimes you can get them free in like a pack or something where they have branding? It's like a really cheap drink bottle and a thing of spiced chutney that you could get from Woolworths. Well, you were down the South Coast as well. Maybe they just stopped off at Berry and got you some chutney.

No, no, no. It wasn't from like a beautiful delicatessen. It is a brand that you get from Woolworths. Bundaboo. It is literally... Underbags and beer. Chutney? Am I...

How do you do chutney? Is this un-great? Am I being un-greatful? Yes, chutney's amazing. I love chutney. Not for your wedding. You want white linens. Why not?

I don't want anything. I just don't... Like, I don't want things that I have to end up throwing away or that are going to sit in the pantry forever. Riddle taker. I'll have the chutney. Bring it in. I'll have the drink bottle.

I'm one person. Chutney on a bit of cheese, on a cracker, is so lit. Do you know what, actually? You've reminded me. I got a really weird present once. Not at my wedding because I have never been married. I moved into it. You know, like when you move into a new house when you're a bit younger,

you haven't accumulated a lot of nice things yet. So housewarming gifts mean a lot. You were like, yes, get me something great that I need. Anything from Ikea. I got my sister an amazing coffee machine. Do you know what I got given? A pack of two tea towels. That's perfect.

That's a great gift. Are you kidding? They were the cheapo ones. You know, the ones that don't actually dry anything. They're just like the water flaps off it. You know those ones? It moves the water around. It doesn't even do anything.

Two tea towels. I disagree. I think if you've just moved into your first home, tea towels are actually... If someone had given me tea towels instead of a drink bottle, a single drink bottle and some spiced chutney, I would have been thrilled. Well, I remember when I graduated from high school,

my mum bought me polo raffle and aftershave and I was allergic to it and had hives on my neck all night. Oh, but at least that was a good gift. It just didn't land. So I could have bought myself a dollar tea towel. I'm like, give me something I can't afford. I'm young, I'm in a new house. I did tell this story to one of my girlfriends

who was at the wedding, my celebrant, and she said that the worst gift she got at her wedding was a $20 voucher for Messina ice cream. No, that's expensive stuff. That'll get you one scoop these days. Guys, you guys are too ungrateful. I'm frothing all these presents. I want to know, am I being ungrateful firstly?

Yes. But more importantly, what is the terrible gift that you got given? And dear God, I hope my wedding guests are not listening to this. Worst gift you've ever received. Can you beat chutney? $13,106. Spice. Spice.

Spices are important. Seven days ago to the day, Laura Byrne got married down the South Coast. It was gorgeous. The wind was blowing. The vineyard was green. The sun was setting. The wind was blowing a little bit too harsh,

according to some of the comments on Daily Mail, which was that Laura didn't even do her hair for the wedding. One of the comments was like, Laura steps out in waxy hair. Did you see that? Oh, fuck. I didn't see that one. That's all right. I got black.

You read them all. How about we do that? The hate mail to Laura Byrne on Daily Mail. There were a thousand good ones, one bad one. I got Brittany got a side boob out at Laura's wedding, which was, you know, I'm single. No. Of course I'm going to get the side poop out.

Something bad did happen at the wedding and it was in the wishing well. Oh, it wasn't bad. You got a terrible gift. Look, I know they say it's the thought that counts when it comes to gift giving. But like I got a drink bottle and some spiced chutney and it feels rather thoughtless. Which I think, okay, maybe there's a lot of thought in that. Maybe they thought you guys wanted to sit at home, have a little drink in the yard, have some chutney and cheese.

One drink bottle. One. Not two. There's two humans in this marriage. Okay, the drink bottle's weird, but I'm about the chutney. There was no card, which is even more mysterious. So maybe it was a bit of a joke. No, but it was, this is the thing.

I thought maybe it was ironic, but we can't find the irony in it. It was wrapped beautifully. It was wrapped with a bow and what was inside was rather underwhelming. All right, 131065, what's the worst gift you've ever received? Hi, Yasmin. Hi, Yasmin. What did you get? What's the worst thing you've ever been given?

Okay, a bit strange. I had a really good friend of mine give me a Christmas present and it was a small packet of wet wipes. What? That's it? Are you the person that always asks, like, oh, does anyone have a tissue? Or does anyone have, like, I don't know. Do you always ask for them?

Or do you spill a lot, like on the table in your clothes? No, it was very random. I couldn't think of a reason why. And she was a very, very close friend. And when I first opened it, I thought, I'm just going to wait for the laugh. Is it a joke? Was it a baby shower? No, it was a Christmas present.

Do you have IBS? Diarrhea? You've got some cramps? Did you have curry the night before? I don't know. There's got to be some reason. Unfortunately not. There was no rhyme or reason.

It was just a really crappy present. Wow. All right, Carla on 131065. Hey, Carla, what was the worst gift you've ever received? Oh, worst gift. I was opening up a 21st birthday present and inside was some black sexy lingerie and I thought, ooh, this spicy little number

with some cutouts and some diamantes and I thought, which one of my girlfriends has gifted me this? And then I looked at the gift tag and it was from my boyfriend's older traditional Greek auntie and uncle. Oh! Sorry, what? Your boyfriend's uncle gave you lingerie? And the auntie.

So it's not that creepy when you add the auntie in. I mean, oh, you know what? No, it's still creepy. Were they there watching on as you opened it? You know when you give someone a gift that you think is really good and you watch them as they open it for their reaction? Were they watching you? Well, no.

The awkward thing is I've seen them like hundreds of times since. He's my husband now. You know, it's just been an unspoken thing. To be fair, Carla, I think it would be weirder if they were like, so, how'd the lingerie go? Yeah. That would be weird. We're so glad you're in the family.

Oh, thank you, Carla. All right, Chelsea, wrap it up for us. What's the weirdest gift you've ever got? I was about 13 and my neighbour gave me a pair of bikinis but as I unwrapped them, they looked well-worn and a bit old and my mum began to inspect them and realised there were crispies in them and they ended up in the bin. Oh, that's disgusting.

Goodness me. Well, I'm glad I got the spiced chutney and not the dirty undies. I was about to say, look, I brought you something else. What did you get me? What do you have for me? I brought you this. It's a hot sauce. Oh, that's Kyle Sanderlands' hot sauce that's been sitting on his desk.

What do you reckon Kyle will say if I take his hot sauce off? Actually, no, you don't want to be on Kyle's restaurant. Yeah, you don't want to be on that. We'll leave the hot sauce. Girls, comedian, superstar, model, sex icon. What else can we add in there? I heard you just won sexiest man on earth. Sexiest man on earth.

It's Alan Carr. He's here. Oh, he's here. Oh, no, you're getting me mistaken for Chris Evans. It happens all the time. I was going to say the similarities are uncanny. I know, I know, isn't it just? Alan's here for his Australian tour, his regional trinket show.

So great to have you here. Alan, what is the show about? Like, what's been the inspiration for the comedy at the moment? Well, you know me, I never have a theme. I don't do politics or anything like that. But all I do is every four or five years I go on tour and I just talk about everything that's happened. And boy, has it been a few four years.

Got married by Adele, I talk about that. Then we got divorced. Then I ended up in lockdown on a farm. And then it's just everything. It's very anecdotal, very personal, very raw. It's probably my most raw-ish show yet. And it's just going down really well. I think you just scooted over a pretty big point there.

You got married by Adele? Clang. I'll just pick that name up I drop. Yeah, I love that you shot that. And you knew we were going to circle back to that. Also, how long have you been friends with Adele? Oh, God, years. You know when she won the Brit Awards?

What was it? When she was 19. Was it 2008, I think? 2008. Yeah, and then I did this thing. I was, I love Adele. I adore Adele, like the whole world does. And I remember seeing her and I was very drunk.

And then I leant back and it was on a lift and the lift door opened and I fell back and smacked my head on the bottom of a lift. I had like Schindler's lifts like embedded in my balls. So it was just, yes, it weren't the best. So yeah, so yeah, friends with her. Before she was a big superstar. Can I ask, when you become friends with a superstar like that, is this like a premeditated thing?

Are you like, okay, I'm going to add some people to my circle. I want Adele. And then you plan it out. You're like, okay, I've got to put myself in a position with her. I've got to elevate her. If I hurt myself, she might want to help me. Or is it a very natural thing? So you think I threw myself down on the lift?

I'd do it for you. How shallow do you think I am? No, I'm hands up. You're right. I did it. I did it. I threw myself down. I had some fake blood.

I poured it all over my head. I said, oh, my God, I need to be friends with you. Please help me. Alan, we were speaking about terrible gifts on this show and I did read somewhere that you gave Adele a terrible gift, a doll that every time she tries to throw it out, you fish it out of the bin. What's the sentiment of this?

Oh, it's a discovery. What do you get, Adele? What do you get, Adele? I mean, so we always get this awful present and then this doll, it looked like Chucky, looked like Chucky's sister. And then she'd just keep throwing it out and then she'd go, get out! You know what she's like.

And then we'd always end up, like, fishing it out the bin and putting it in her bed. You are an evil friend, Alan. I know, I'm horrible and I'm horrible. But, yeah, it was all, I mean, it's one of those ones, you know, one eye was shut and it was just like, you know, Chucky. So it's, Graham Norton's a friend of yours. And you have a wildly popular, you have a chatty man,

but you've spoken, you both have spoken about tricky guests that you've had on, like, real hard work. Can you spill some goss on that? Well, I don't, no, I mean. Come on, Alan, don't overthink it. No, but I'm dating them. Name names. Who's the worst one?

Docs them. But they're all nice to me because they're flogging their crappy film or book. Yeah, they've got to be nice to you. What about the royals? Have you had a royal? Oh. Have I had a royal? I've had a few queens on, but never any royals.

You've also got something of your own that you need to flog as well. That's what we're doing now, no? Normally I get introduced to this. What are you flogging? What are you flogging? What do we say? All right, Alan, give it to us. What are you flogging?

You're flogging your show. Tell us when it is. I'm flogging my show. I'm on tour and I'm going everywhere. Adelaide, Canberra, Perth, two nights, two nights in Sydney. One of them sold out. I don't know which one it is, but check out on the website. Going everywhere, loving it.

We might try and get some tickets to the show that's still got a few tickets. Yeah, if you want to buy tickets, you can get... I've still got tickets to Flog. Okay, Flog them away. We'll take two. Please buy them, please. I've actually got one of those golf sale placards. I'll be walking around Melbourne.

Please come. It's his regional trinket show across Australia. That's Alan Carr. We adore you. Thank you for coming on, Alan. I love you. Thank you so much. Bye, Alan.

Thanks, Alan. Bye, ladies. Bye-bye, love. Right now, talking this. Yeah, wild children. You actually, Laura, being with your two children, Marley, May and Lola, at your wedding, they weren't wild at all, were they, Britt?

They were very well behaved. What are you talking about? Like, Lola, in the middle of the ceremony, when we're trying to say our vows, was up the front pulling flowers out of the arbor and, like, literally walking around with fistfuls of roses. No, I wouldn't say that's wild. I would just say that's, like, just she was cute.

It's charm. It's charm. And you know why I don't say it's wild? Because wait till you hear producer Missy's story about her kid, her little boy. Yeah, Missy produces the radio show. Missy, hi. Missy, producer Missy.

Hi, guys. What happened? Oh, tell us what happened. Yeah, have you noticed my hair? I did. It looks great at the front and then you turn around, it's a bit of a party. You have a reverse mullet going on.

So I've got a four-and-a-half-year-old and I had my niece over for a play date, so she's six. And, you know, they're having a lovely little play around and Ariana goes, Auntie Missy has started asking me all these questions and I thought, isn't she sweet? So I'm, you know, answering her questions. She cares.

Meanwhile, my son, Luke, he's gone behind my back and he's, like, just sort of tapping on my back and I thought, oh, he's giving me a little massage. And she just keeps going with the questions and I'm thinking, hang on, this has been going on for a while. I turn around, he's got scissors and he's been cutting my hair. He's been hacking you. Oh, my gosh.

I then put my hand down my hair to see if there was too much damage and, like, a handful of hair. What did... Like, just frayed hair. They were kids' scissors, but, like, a handful... Did you scream at him? Yes. Yeah.

What did you do? He ran into the bedroom and got in under the covers and put the covers over and was crying. But this is premeditated. They've... Oh, yeah. Because they've... You distract her, I'll come around the back with the scissors.

She was an accomplice. I actually said, did you plan this? Like, you know, because I was angry. I was yelling at them. And they go, well, my idea was to distract in their baby boys, to distract Auntie Missy. And so I was asking questions while he went around and started cutting your hair.

Because they were playing hairdressers, no doubt. That's evil. Do you know what? My favourite thing is trading war stories, like kid war stories with Missy. Because we, I mean, I have a three and a half year old, Missy's little boy is four. Marley the other day, she was like,

Mummy, I want to do some painting. Mummy, I want to do painting. And I was like, we're not painting. It was like 15 minutes before dinner time. Anyway, I went into the bedroom, she went into the bathroom, didn't think any more of it, walked out, and she had gotten a brand-new bottle, like a very expensive face cream bottle of retinol that I had just bought.

Yeah. Like, brand-new. She used it as paint. She poured it out into the middle of her craft book and painted with it. That is going to be a youthful-looking paint book. And it's white paper. And it looks brand-new. But also then she had to rash all up her arms the next day

because she'd retinoled her little delicate skin. Oh, no. Kids are awful. Well, when I was a kid, my mum tells this story all the time. Long story short, she was making Betty Crocker muffins, like, you know, box mix muffins, and my two sisters, I'm the middle child, were putting on, like, Chemist Warehouse acrylic nails with the little glue

and the stamp on nails. Cute, yes. And I was jealous because I wanted to be involved and, you know. You're really into girly things. I'm really into girly things, and that's probably telling about what's to come when I'm about 19, 18, 19. Anyway, so mum put the muffins out to cool and I, as an act of rebellion, got the super glue and injected it

in the middle of the muffin, Zumbo style. Did you want to, like, kill people? Yeah, it was, like, soft-scented with glue. Like, wait, like, as in, like, hard nails, like 30-second, like, super glue. Yeah, liquid nail, liquid nail, yeah, Gorilla Grip. You put that in the middle of the muffins. Yeah, and Mum ate it and had to go to hospital

and get her skin surgically removed. She got her skin removed? Yeah, had to go to hospital. This is wild. Yeah. I'm complaining about face cream. And this is why I'm in hospital. It's mutilation.

No, this is why I said picking flowers from the wedding, this is not why you're a child. But I was a kid, that's what I mean. I've outgrown that phase, but... Are you not trying to kill your muffin? I've made us all muffins. You're not trying to kill your muffin. I'm never eating your muffin again.

What did your devil child do? Wild Child, 131065. Can you beat the stories? We'll take your calls next. Welcome to Saturday morning. Get your coffees, go on for a walk, listening to Brittany Hockley and Laura Byrne talk Wild Child. If you have a kid at home,

maybe they've been doing something very, very naughty or have a story yourself. We were talking about some of the crazy and awful things our children have done. I haven't told you something my brothers did, actually. What? Because I was a pretty good child. I didn't really do anything.

Well, I don't believe it. I feel like you would have done a few things. You just feel like you're not committed to memory. Yeah. I'm sure your parents would have a few different stories to share. I'll throw my parents, my kids, I'll throw my brothers under the bus. They were pretty young. My brothers were only 18 months apart, so they shared a room.

They were both young, and they had a pet goldfish. My mum found them, and I feel horrible saying this, but they didn't have a ball, like a tennis ball, so they decided to play ball with the goldfish. No. Are they now in prison for being serial killers? What have they done? They were just throwing it to each other, having fun.

How old were they? They were little. They were really little. And then it splattered. Oh, no. It died. I know, RIP. It was a sad day.

They didn't get any more pets. No, I'm not surprised. And they were trying to throw the puppy around. No, they were little. It makes them sound crazy they weren't. They were babies. We want to know, what did your wild child do? 13, 106, 5.

Hi, Lily. What's your story? So when I was little, I was probably about three years old, My grandfather thought it would be a good idea to take me to the park and fly a kite. Now, it was a two-handled kite, and while he's got his hands up in the air flying this kite, having a good time, I decided to pull his pants down. That's funny. In front of everyone.

Meanwhile, my dad's on the other side of the park, pissing himself laughing. Did he have undies on? Did he have undies on? Or was he nudie rudie? I'm pretty sure he had undies on. Oh, you'd remember if he didn't. Something else is flying around in the wind that day. Oh, no, thank you.

Thank you, Lily. Hi, Jess. What's your wild child story? Hi. Hi. My older sister was a bit of a crazy sort of devil child when she was younger, and she hit the emergency fire alarm while we were in the hospital.

Oh, did they evacuate people, or what did they do? Like, they had the fire brigade turn up. I don't think they got to the point of evacuation because the nurses found out that it was a child that, like, did it. Oh, so naughty. But they weren't very happy. How old was she at the time?

She was about four. Oh, see, you don't really know. I feel like four, like, they know that they're being naughty, but they don't know the consequences of why they're being naughty. Different if you're, like, 15. Well, yeah, but in a hospital, it's the last place you want emergency. You think you have to evacuate, isn't it? Yeah, exactly.

Sometimes they don't discharge you, though, when you really want to go home. Like, they're waiting for tests. So it could just be smart to pull that trigger and get out of there. Oh, got to go. Yeah, so your story's on fire. All right, Tiana, wrap it up for us. What did your devil child do?

Oh, I'm not normal. I was... What an opener. Not normal. I was about nine, and me and my brother would bring our beds together and have, like, a sleepover. And it must have been, like, 10.30. And I could hear just some, like, rustling or creaking,

like, just all this weird noise. And I just look at my brother, and I'm like, Michael, like, what's that? I went over to our cabinet, and we had all these, I think, cases of blackout torches. So, you know, those huge torches. Like a spotlight. You've got a big spotlight. Oh.

So, I took two, one in each hand, and I was ready to execute the plan. So, I'm tiptoeing, and then I've just gone, one, two, I shine these torches in my parents' room. All I see is just my dad, commando roll off my mum. Oh. Oh, going to pound town. That's it. That was a dinner and a show you didn't need to see as a kid.

No, and then I'd just be something flaps. I don't... Oh, my, something flaps? What was flapping? Did you have a pet budgie? Why did you stay and keep watching? It's like a train wreck. You can't look away.

No, no, and, you know, the whole room was lit up. Like, it was like a police raid. It was like a police raid. I don't know if you've done the wrong thing as a devil child. I just feel like this is very unfortunate for everyone. You were there too long. Your mum was there too long. Your mum was there too long.

Everything went too long. Seven minutes is all it takes. Get it over and done with. Tiana, what an interesting story. Shedding light on, you know, that happens. Wild children. All right, very exciting. Britt, you're a part of this show.

The Challenge Australia. It's on Channel 10. 10 Play. A guest of the show, a good friend of yours, Conrad, is here. Hello, buddy. Conrad, hey, I miss you, buddy. Oh, cute guy. Stop it.

Stop it. Stop. No, don't stop. That can be the next headline, Brittany and Conrad. Well, it actually might be if the show has their way, right? Oh. Yeah, yeah. Okay, well, we can joke about you and Britt,

but look, there has been something that has come up on the ad breaks thus far. It hasn't actually been shown on the show yet, but I think you did have a little bit of a love affair on the challenge. Yeah, look, I feel that's been well documented and spoken about. It's no spoiler. Yeah, me and Megan. Whatever name it is. Me and Marksy.

Megan Markle? What? Yeah, me and Megan, we hooked up. She's cool. She's a really cool chick. She is super cool. I mean, like, there's no surprise you hooked up with her. She's so hot.

She's smart. She's normal. Yeah, she's just a babe. Could you guys sleep with each other on the show or no? You're not allowed to do that. Oh, that's interesting, Conrad. Hey, roomie. What?

Well, you do the math. We had to share rooms and we had to share bunk beds. Okay, so no one's answered the question yet. Were you allowed to sleep with people on the show or not? You're allowed. They're all adults in a house. You can do what you want. But morally, should you be having sexual relations in a room

with other people sleeping in the bunk bed next to them? Maybe not. Did they? Maybe. Do you know, I find it so interesting, though, because Conrad, you've obviously, you've done The Bachelor before and The Bachelor's very different. I think people expect that there's some sex going on behind the scenes

and, I mean, I know from the season I did with Matt, there's absolutely none of that happening. So how is the set-up of the challenge different in terms of, like, being able to spark romantic relationships? It's completely different. It's wild in there. I mean, I just finished therapy just before taking this call, so I'm unpacking all of that,

but it's kind of like a free-for-all in that house. There's just cameras up on the corners of walls, there's microphones hidden everywhere. Yeah, it's a completely different show. And it was, and I mean, like, we can say that because, you know, we were friends on the show, we're in a little alliance, but there were moments where, like, both of us were in tears.

It was like we both struggled. A lot of people in the house struggled. There were definitely moments where, and I guess that's why you become so close with each other too, because you're going through the same thing and you're seeing someone else struggle and you don't want them to struggle and you want to be there for them.

Conrad, you also, I mean, this has come out recently in the news and also in terms of you having to defend your timeline, but you were also going through a breakup with Abby Chatfield when you were doing this filming. What was that like navigating your personal life, but also being locked in a room? It was an amicable breakup, but it's still not fun going through a breakup.

So, yeah, processing all of that and being in there was not fun. Love, I'm going to call you love. You're like my friend love. I just saw you told the Daily Telegraph you came out as pansexual, which for those listening at home is, correct me if I'm wrong, Conrad, but you're just in love with any human, whoever they are, just for who they are. But is this just a new discovery for you,

something you've just come to terms with? Yeah, I think being pansexual is sort of seeing love as gender blind. So you may meet someone that's trans, you may meet someone that's non-binary, you may meet someone that's straight and you have a connection with them. I can appreciate a really attractive trans person. I can appreciate a really attractive guy. You know, I've disco-pashed some boys before. I love a disco-pash.

I don't think it's anything that should be, it shouldn't be like shock or, oh my God, it shouldn't be anything. Good on you. That's brave. Good on you for saying that. If no one's going to support you and be on your team, and why would you want to be around them anyway? 100%. Conrad, we love watching you on the show. You and Britt, I can't wait to see what happens.

I want more of the bunk beds. I want bunk beds. Camera footage, leak it. Yeah, the challenge up late. Channel 10, give us the bunk bed footage. No, I don't want this up late, no. That's Conrad, everyone. Britt, you're obviously on the challenge.

It's a great series, so head up and watch it. Channel 10, 10 plays well. We're back after this at the Life Uncut radio show around Australia. Listen, all I'll say is we're talking Pete Davidson and we're not talking about his career. We're talking about... He's something else. Yeah.

Yeah, the big subject. Have you heard the news? Again, Pete Davidson back in the news, ladies, because he's dating yet another from Kim Kardashian to another beauty and a supermodel. Emrata. Emrata. Emily Ratajkowski.

But, you know, this is weird to me because I thought Emily was dating Brad Pitt recently, which this is great because this means Brad Pitt's freed up again. Oh, that's definitely very fortunate for you, Brittany Harkley. No, but don't you think it's... OK, Pete Davidson, he is like an unconventionally attractive man. He's a comedian, first of all. He's not super attractive.

I mean, you wouldn't look at him and be like, that is one hunk of a human. I actually don't find him attractive at all, but he must be funny. No. Yes, he is funny. He's a comedian on SNL. But isn't it just so weird, like, the calibre of women that he manages to attract?

Ariana Grande, Kim Kardashian. Kate Beckinsale. Kaya Gerber. These are all of his exes. He's all super models. Why can't he ever pin one of them down, though? Well, he was engaged to Ariana Grande, then that all went, you know, square. But here's the thing.

He's the one that coined the term BDE. Well, people coined it around him, Big D Energy. Okay, so for anyone who doesn't know what BDE is, this is Big Dick Energy. Now, it doesn't necessarily mean that you have to have a large penis. It's just the aura that you give off. Because I don't think that penis size is in any... Like, as a woman, I don't think that penis size

is indicative of a guy's attractiveness. If anything, some people who do have a BDE can come off as super arrogant. So it doesn't mean that that's what attracts you to them. No, it doesn't mean that, but it's been a speculation that Pete Davidson must have a massive penis for a long time to be getting these women, but that actually was confirmed this week. His friend came out, they did an interview,

and he came out and admitted, Pete was like, I do have a really massive penis. I think we've spoken about it. Look, pleasantly surprising, but I don't think that that's the reason why these women are attracted to him. I'm sure they get into the bedroom, they're like, oh, hello, that's, yes, seals the deal. So you think it's a bit, because he's a funny guy.

He's so funny. Yeah, well, I mean, look, there are a lot of men who are unattractive, but they're very, very funny. And I think women, a lot of women, find funny and humour a really attractive trait in the opposite sex. Who do you think, I mean, I love humour, but who do you think is the Australian version of Pete Davidson? You know that person that you just think has this BDE?

Oh, the Aussie Pete. Like the Aussie Pete. As in, like, who has dated a whole lot of hot women, just like a long list of exceptionally good-looking women. But you also think would have a big... But you're also a bit like, how did they get those women? Yeah. OK, I'm going to throw one in the ring.

I think Rob Mills is the Aussie Pete Davidson BDE exuding from Millsy. But he is a good-looking boy, actually. I don't know, Mitch. I don't know if I'm on board with this one. I don't get that level of cockiness or confidence. Oh, really? I'm with you, Britt. I don't get that.

Yeah, I think Mills is like, he's like lovely and unassuming. I reckon Richard Wilkinson. Oh, yeah, he's got a BDE. He's got the big hair. He's gotten babes. Like, he's got an air of confidence, a great tan. I think that. There's a bulge too.

We're at the radio awards with him and there's a lot going on. Why are you looking? Mitch is gay. Of course he's looking. Okay, I reckon... Now, this one is a bit of a tricky one because I do think the guy is good looking,

but I reckon it's Tommy Little. I reckon he's got this like... From the project. Yeah, he's got a bit of energy behind him that there's something going on. Yeah, of course you do. You would back that, wouldn't you? Stop it!

Excuse me! He definitely has that air of authority, the air of I have a big penis. And has also dated a lot of very attractive women. Okay, here's the thing. This is clearly a mystery, guys. And we are clearly going to have to compile a list. It definitely needs investigation.

We need to investigate who the Australian Pete Davidson is and who is the king of BDE in this nation. Now, how do we investigate that? Also, how do we get to the bottom of it? Do we need to find out whether they truly do have a BDE or a BD? I'm the only single person. Does that mean you throw me in the ring? No, like you said, Laura,

it does not necessarily indicative of actual size. It's all about the energy. It's all about energy. So you can DM us, Life Uncut Podcast. You can add some names in the ring and then next week we'll deliver a list of the top 10 potential BDEers. And we'll break it down.

We'll break it down. So who is it? Who's the celebrity person that you think's got the most BDE? In Australia. In the country, yeah. Albo? I don't know. And then we'll try and set them up with Brittany Hockley.

Line them up. All right, that's us done. That's the show done, guys. It is. And we have a brand new episode coming out on Tuesday for Life Uncut. So if you want to hear more of us, you can jump there. We are talking all things wedding, which, I mean, if you haven't had enough of it yet, then there's more happening.

It's going to be an exclusive. These stories haven't gone anywhere, have they? Yeah, but it's also talking about the fact that there was paparazzi hiding in the bushes at the wedding. There's definitely a few things we haven't shared yet that will all be coming out on Tuesday's episode of Life Uncut. And don't forget, tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends and share the love because we love love.

Have you missed any of the Life Uncut radio show with Britt Hockley and Laura Baird? Hear it in the Catch Up podcast on iHeartRadio.