Life Uncut - LIFE UNCUT RADIO - 23rd April

Episode Date: April 23, 2022

After a two week break we are back, Britt got a tan, Laura got some sleep and we are here on your radio! Each week we package up our National Saturday radio show that we host alongside Mitch Churri and give you all the highlights.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders, past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode is recorded on Gadigal land of the Aurora Nation. Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. And I'm Brittany.

There she is, the big B-H. I've been hanging out with Mitch Turi for too long. Mitch Turi? He's a good influence on people's lives, so I've heard. Is he though? So handsome, so handsome. Because do you know what Mitch does? If you guys haven't listened to Mitch a lot, he tends to break into songs sporadically.

He is a bit theatrical. What do you mean? What have I been? Not me, not I. I don't sing. Look me in the eye. We went on vacay. We are back.

We are back in action. We've got a really great episode for you guys today. Well, this is our radio show. For anybody who's just jumping onto the podcast for the first time only, sorry that you had to listen to that intro. Sorry, I'm on the show with the girls, only on the radio. And you're still very confused. Every Saturday morning we do a radio show.

Mitch Turi, who is our beautiful co-host on the show, and every Saturday we package up the radio show. So it's here in a beautiful bite-sized little morsel for you to consume. Well, we, and when I say we, Mitch Turi and I just laughed, but Laura pranked Matt. She got him pretty good. Well, as you guys know, we're getting married at the end of the year, so November, and we decided that, you know, the wedding is all very stressful at the moment. Matt hasn't really been attending any of our meetings, so we have a wedding planner who's

been helping us a little bit, and Matt's just not been there, which was surprising. He's been very busy. But I thought this is the perfect opportunity to get him back for that. He took the bait too. Didn't he ever? Book, line and sinker. Yeah, he did say, I would rather drink my own piss, which was probably my favourite part of the whole episode.

Also a bit excessive. But speaking of piss, I did go on a plane and I did forget how disgusting they can be sometimes. Wow, might have had a holiday, but we're not short on those segues. That was tight. That was good. The Life Uncut Radio Show. With Britt Hockley and Laura Byrne.

We love them! On Kiss. Some of you guys might know, but Matt and I, my partner Matt and I, we have been planning our wedding and now we have two kids and it's been on the back burner for quite some time. But at the end of this year, we are actually finally getting married and there is so much planning that goes into organising a wedding. I wouldn't know, but I'll take your word for it. Well, OK, we have a wedding planner who's on board, but we both, Matt and I, unanimously agree that we are going to have a very, very low key wedding. It's going to be small. It's going to be just family and friends. It's not going to be a big Instagram, big Instagrammable event.

That's not what we want. A little surprising for me, but this is why we decided to pull a little prank on our boy, Matt. Well, you know what? Matt hasn't been showing up to any of the wedding planning meetings that we've been having. Well, he will from now on. So I thought it was time to get him a bit of payback on that one. Hello? Hi, baby. How you going? Good. I'm at the gym.

You know how I had the meeting yesterday with the wedding planner? Yes. She has a couple of ideas and I know that we have been pretty strict around like wanting it to be low key and everything and having it like very small. But yesterday she was talking about there was a few things that she kind of gave me ideas on and I have been thinking about it and I really wanted to kind of run a few things by you. Like what?

Hear me out. Firstly, I know that we said we have a very conservative budget for flowers, but because of where it is and it's like that big open space i think that we should put some more money into the flowers so that we can have like a really beautiful archway like all the way leading down the aisles to make it like a real centerpiece so i'm thinking like we need to have like cascading flowers down that side the amazing photos she has shown me has has changed my mind i'm thinking we need to go a bit more out like i mean i like flowers wise i'm not really fussed you know like obviously i want it to look good budget like budget wise flowers are just like already

taking up like so much money like how much how much more are we talking i mean okay it sounds like a lot but like she said it would be around thirty thousand dollars what i mean we could there's ways that we can do this like you know we could maybe even thirty thousand dollars are you having a laugh okay what if we got woman's day to put it in the magazine and just went with that and got like the money from there I would rather drink wine you're right yeah have woman's day there like I want I I'm like I'm totally down for flowers but like I just think for that much money the thing I struggle with flowers is that you like you put them in the bin after the event well no my mum will probably take them all home you know

that yeah but also okay look we're gonna do this once like let's go all out I just think we're already like we've got a hundred people it's not like we're not being conservative at all like we're already dropping a heap of money but don't you and is that really gonna make your wedding is that if you if you tell me that is like my dream come true this is like the very first time like I feel like I need to come to more of these meetings you don't come to any of the meetings like you haven't been to any of them so like because because you were you were you were the one initially who was like I don't want to spend too much money on this so I was like now I do absolutely okay well last thing I wanted to talk to you about is in terms of emceeing and

stuff especially if we do go down the road like the route of selling it to Women's Day what if Brit was the emcee yeah I don't care if Brit's the emcee it's just I don't think Women's Day care who's emceeing the wedding so wait do you want to sell it to Wednesday like would you be okay with no all right not at all like I think that would like be the worst idea you've ever had in your entire life okay well apparently Brittany's going to be the emcee I'm pretty sorry I'm now the emcee of the wedding thanks Maddie J sorry my love you are on radio and I I don't want to have $30,000 worth of flowers, believe it or not. I've been waiting for the day that you guys try and prank me.

And did you actually? I was like, what the? What are you talking about? You want to spend $30,000 at a wedding? But I'm going to veto the woman's day take photos. That's not going to happen. Do you know what we're going to end up? We're going to end up having two little pigeons at the end that we've rounded up.

That is about all our budget will allow right now. They're not even pigeons. They can't fly. Just chickens. Just chickens running around. Just two seagulls at the end of it. This is actually the most we've spoken about the wedding in about four months. Yeah, we are the worst.

We're so unorganized. Anyway, no, we don't need to spend. Oh, it's like, what are you smoking? Well, thanks, Matt. I love that he stopped his gym. Also, also, honey, do not worry. Everything is going exactly to plan. There's no surprises and you don't have to come to any meetings.

It's okay. Okay, great. Can I go back to the gym? Yeah, see you, Maddie. Go on, go get some lifting. Shred for the wedding. Love you, Bob. Love you, love you, bye.

He's a keeper. 131065, what did your partner hate at your wedding? We've got Jess. Morning, hi. Hi, yeah, so when I booked our wedding, I thought that I was doing the right thing by putting it on a long weekend because I was like, you know, it gives everyone the extra day off to recover from all the festivities and all the drinks and everything like that.

I didn't think about the fact that the NRL Grand Final was always on the October long weekend. Oh, what a rocky era. My partner is like the biggest Melbourne Storm supporter in the world. There's memorabilia all through the house. And it just so happened they made the grand final that year. And he's at the wedding, I'm not kidding, on his phone trying to live stream the game while we're at our own wedding. At the reception?

At what part of the wedding was he trying to live stream the game? They're like, you need to say I do. He's just like, come on! So in his defence, we'd already done the official wedding part of it, but we're at the reception and he's in between speeches trying to run out to, like, you know, the outside bin, the smoking area, trying to get reception on his phone to watch it. And the worst part is they ended up winning.

It was, like, a really good game. Well, he said he won all out, didn't he? Do you know what, though? I like when you say, oh, you know, in his defence. In your defence, he also had a say in picking the date. The guy could have been proactive in this decision-making. Did he, though? It doesn't seem like Maddie J's been very active in the decision-making, Laura.

Let's go to Natalie in Gregory Hills. Hello, Natalie. What did your partner hate at your wedding? We actually had a security guard sitting in the middle of the dance floor the whole night. What? Every single photo, we had the security guard standing there with, like, this cranky look on his face.

Why? Why did you need security in the middle of the dance floor? Was there some rogue dancing? There was some pretty rogue dancing. There was some pants coming off and some tops coming off. There was some nudity. There were some dance moves that were well and truly illegal. They really were.

But, yeah, it was probably just before the end of the COVID restrictions. And, yeah, he obviously didn't like so many people there. So, hang on. So you didn't employ a security guard to come to your wedding. So you're not Beyonce or something. But the venue. No, no, no. No, it's Natalie and Gregory Hills.

Okay, well, she could have been an alias. I don't know. So the venue had the security guard. And now every photo you've ever got has a security guard in it of your wedding. Yeah. Was it at least hot? Just tell people he's a cousin. No, oh, God, no.

He's the cranky cousin who sits on a dance floor. Who wears all black and has security written on the chest of his shirt. And a gun in his holster. And a gun, yeah. He's really secretive. It's the secretive Cousin Joe. All new in 22. For your Saturday morning, the last uncut radio show

with Britt Hockley and Laura Byrne. On Kiss. Ladies, you know, Coachella's not at the moment. We're on a little mini break. There's like week one, and they have a break, so all the artists can go hydrate and rest, and then there's week two next week. Recover.

Coachella is a weird place. the big names, like Harry Styles was performing Billie Eilish, but did you know a lot of lesser known artists also get their first big break at Coachella? Like really, I'm talking fringe artists. Some that you'd never even heard. Some with even very obscure names, Brittany and Laura. The ones that if you know who they are,

you're really cool. Oh, if you know? You're indie cool. You know. So I've got some of the best names. I'm going to give them to you. You have to tell me whether or not it is a real name or in fact a made up name. I'm not going to know these. I don't even know Harry Styles. Oh, come on. Sometimes it's shocking how we've got a radio show where we don't know any musical artists.

All right, let's go number one. Let's start with you, Britt. Which is a real band playing at Coachella, which is completely made up? Emil and the Sniffers or Emil and the Swallowers? What? What was the first one? One's real, one's fake.

Emil and the Sniffers, Emil and the Swallowers. Surely they haven't called themselves the Swallowers. It's got to be the Sniffers. It's the Sniffers. Yes! She's done it. Wait, there is a band called Emil and the Sniffers. They're very good.

I've seen them live. That's very interesting. Anyone who knows what Emil is, you would know that this is a very interesting name. Beautiful eyes. All right, Laura, your turn. Put down that coffee. Look how cocky she is drinking her San Vittoria.

Laura, is the band playing at Coachella real or fake? Prince Samsung, sorry, or Princess Nokia? This is so stupid. Princess Nokia. Prince Samsung. You want to look in Princess Nokia? Princess Nokia. There'll be royalty there.

Princess Nokia is performing. Ah, fantastic. What a stupid name. What a stupid... Let's never get them on because we just called them stupid. Well, she's behind you right now. Let's go. Laura, back to you.

I'll bring it back to you. Is the band playing Coachella real or fake? Land Dragons or Beach Goons? Is that a beach goon like having a glass of wine at the beach? Yeah, goon sex, I guess. Nah, I'm going to go a Land Dragon. Land Dragons. Lock it in, Mitch.

Oh, my God. That puts you in the lead, Laura. It's a beach goon. I'm very good at this game. Beach goon are fantastic. I love their hit. Paul Chardonnay. I'm lying.

Add it up. All right. Sandy Chardy is what it should have been. If you get this right, you win, Laura Byrne. What do I win, Mitch Turey? Nothing. Unconditional love and tickets to Coachella. Real band playing at Coachella or fake?

Emotional oranges or physical pears? Physical pears. Fucking physical pears. Surely it's the emotion. For the win. Oh, ladies and gentlemen, that gets us to a tiebreaker. Do we have a tiebreaker band? We have a tiebreaker band.

Mitch, this music is actually giving me anxiety. Thank you. It's for a million dollar hot seat. Band playing at Coachella. Buzz in with your name. First to buzz in and get it right with you. Real band playing at Coachella or made up? Whipped cream or salted butter?

Brittany. Brittany. Salted butter. Salted butter. I hate butter. Why did I pick butter? Sadly, that's wrong. Brittany has lost.

Laura, you've won the quiz. Nothing like an emotional orange and a whipped cream or butter or whatever it was. No, we're not going to see any of them, let's be real. I have not heard of one of those bands in my life. Do you know what? We're going to be really sort of eating our own words when one day one of them is super famous and is on here

and we have to say we're very sorry that we slandered the emotional orange. Emil, sorry, and to the Sniffers as well, we also apologise. But I'll have the Sandy Chardonnay on any time. The Paul Chardonnay, Paul Chardy. Ask Uncut is a segment we do on Life Uncut Podcast every Thursday. Are you guys writing your deepest, darkest, sexiest questions? I love them. Sorry, it is my favorite part of the podcast.

Are you writing the sexy questions, don't you? I've been Linda, I've been Tracy, I've been Sandy. I love it. Every week I'm like a new woman. We do our best to answer them, and I have a hot, sexy little one for you guys today. I've been with my partner for about a year and a half now. He's wonderful and a really great guy.

At the very beginning of our relationship, he judged me heavily on my past relationships and sexual encounters with other men. Now, this was before I even knew he existed because he thinks that sex should be special and not just a bit of fun. I have done nothing but accept him, all of him, as he is, including his past, which let me tell you is considerably more colorful than mine. He's since apologized for it all, but I can't ever help feel like I can be fully myself and I can't talk about my past relationships ever at all because he doesn't like it. how do i navigate this and is this normal that's a problem no it'd be and i don't like the double standards that are happening here that something's okay for him but he expects different from her

because she's female i think we can all agree that this is heavily and deeply seated in misogyny yep that's it she's like misogyny leaf yeah yeah the patriarchy no but also i think in this and something that we can like when you write it out like that it's so obvious that he's jealous and I think it just sort of shows how his own insecurities. It has nothing to do with you and your past. It has nothing to do with whether you've had relationships that have been meaningful in their sexual experiences or whether you've had a whole lot of fun in the meantime as well.

It's like that is completely beside the point because it was before your relationship with him and him getting upset about something that happened before he even came along just shows his own insecurities. This does actually have a name. We've done a podcast episode on it. You can Google it. It's called retroactive jealousy and it can be a real issue.

It can be very detrimental to your relationship. What's that when you look back? When you are so jealous of somebody's past, but you weren't even involved. Like, you don't even know them. You know nothing about them, but you can't. And you get obsessive. It's when you go and Google your current partner's exes,

you see what they did, and then you get jealous that maybe four years ago they went on a really romantic trip to Italy, but why haven't you been on a romantic trip? Yeah. It's that kind of a thing. You become a bit obsessed with your partner's ex, and like, are they prettier than me?

Are they funnier? You know, you're trying to figure out if you're level up or not. Well, I did that with you guys when we started the show. I wanted to see what other males you've had on, and I blocked many people on Facebook. Carl Stefanovic and I, we don't talk. Poor Matty J, he is out of here. No, this was a real problem.

I dated someone in the past that I could not talk about anyone else I had ever been with. Red flag. He knew nothing about, well, it didn't work out, but he knew nothing about anyone I'd ever dated because it was a problem. But at the end of the day, if you want to be with this person, there's got to be some level of respect. If he doesn't want to hear about your past, you don't have to talk about it.

And controversial. I think, of course, you don't want to talk too much about your exes. Of course, there's a limit to it. Totally. But I think knowing a little bit about your partner's past and who they've been with and everything else gives you insight. It makes you connect with them even more. So I just think he's very jealous

and just shows that maybe he has a few insecurities. Maybe just put the PowerPoint presentation away before you mark relationships and get on with them. Download Excel, make a spreadsheet. All right, if you want to get in touch with the girls, Life Uncut podcast, send us a DM. This is the Life Uncut radio show. Britt Hockley and Laura Byrne.

On Kiss. Brittany Hockley, just back from a fresh little trip to Thailand. I am back. I've got a can, I've got a cocktail. Not on site. I've got a cocktail. I just brought it home with you in a little, like, bookkeep cup. Well, she's got some travel stories.

We're unpacking that next. But now, ladies, this caught my attention. I saw it last night and I thought the girls would love this. Scientists have identified the most universally pleasing smell. What made you think we would love this? Yeah. Because there was one show that you came in. You smelly woman who doesn't wear deodorant.

That's it. You came in without Rexona on and we all went, oh, yeah, Well, that's the most non-pleasing smell. Didn't you try it? What was it you asked me that day? You're disgusting. I'm disgusting. What did you ask me if you could use?

You're like, I forgot deodorant. Can I use? It was like kitchen spray or something. What was it? Pair spray. No, I didn't. Canola oil. No.

Guys, guys, I couldn't find my deodorant and I asked if you could use air freshener. And the answer was unanimously no from everybody else in the team. Hold on. What about this? Could you use Viva hand towel as toilet paper? I have. Yes, of course you can. Oh, you do what you get rough for sure.

Not good for the sewer system, though. Or the fine skin down there. Or the butthole. Well, all right. Well, anyway. Anyway, from buttholes to smells, I found this very interesting because the most universally appealing smell, I bet you guessed it, is vanilla.

Oh. That's not surprising to me in the slightest. I feel like vanilla is a smell that's not everyone's favourite but everyone kind of likes it because it's so fine. Well, they ranked smells based on pleasantness and they crowned the winner, which is vanilla. It's not to say it was everyone's favourite, but it was the most nice. It was the most rather nice.

It's inoffensive. What's your favourite smell? Do you know what? I couldn't tell you, but a smell that's like a very special smell is a newborn baby. That's like something you really want to sniff that right up. It's warm milk. I don't even know what it is.

You think that they should smell horrible because they're so gluggy and gross, but they smell beautiful. Are we talking about newborn placenta still on them or new ones that have had their first wash? Fresh. Pretty fresh. How soon after giving birth to your babies do you sniff them? Straight away.

I didn't wash my first daughter. for 13 days after she was born, and she smelled so good. I didn't want to wash her because I didn't want to wash the smell away. And what, Maddie's like, hey, babe, I've run a bath. You're like, nah, one more day. Yeah, we've got to keep this, keep the good stuff. Bottle it up. Someone call ASAP.

We've got to bottle it. I am shooketh. You have to wash your child. No, the midwives say the longer the better. You don't have to wash them for, like, the first two weeks. You just, you know, give them a little towel down anywhere you need to, but you don't need to wash them. I mean, like, I bathe more than once in 13 days, yes.

But you are not a fresh newborn baby with beautiful baby skin. Yeah, I don't know. I don't feel like it's like a little bird that you have to bathe. But I don't know what my favorite smell is. But can I just, like, can I just go to the opposite here, the antithesis? My most hated smell. It will make me pretty much vomit on the spot. Gag, yeah.

What is it? Okay, it's two things. They're both things that are cooking. The cooking of mints when you first put raw mints into. Yeah, I get it. I know. Yeah. I'm okay with it.

And even worse than that is when you put butter in a pan and it starts to melt. That will make me vomit on the spot. That is such a weird one because that smells delicious. Both of those things you're talking about smell great. No, I will be out the door. It's disgusting. Okay, my most hated smell is actually vomit,

which is a real problem when you've got kids because it's just usually everywhere. Vomit, poo, it's just a free-for-all. Yeah, it's a slippery slope. With you especially. Note to self, don't go over there. Especially when you don't bathe them, they vomit. But you don't bathe up the bogey base?

All new in 22. Britt Hockley and Laura Byrne getting saucy for your Saturday morning. The Life Uncut Radio Show on KISS. Brittney Hockley, a very tanned BH at that. You've just come back from Thailand. Look, I don't want to rub it in, guys, but it was so nice. We saw her on the socials. You didn't stop.

I had a really great time, but that's not what I want to talk to you about. I want to talk to you about. Thank goodness, because I don't think I could take anymore. Hey, we just walk out, let you keep talking. No, okay. I think that, well, I think I forgot. I think a lot of people forget what goes down on a plane. There are some pretty disgusting things that go down.

I want to ask you about something. So I used to do this. I mean, I have done it in my younger days when I didn't really care and I didn't really think things through. Two things. Firstly, I watched someone get up. I mean, I watched a multitude of people and go to the bathroom just in socks. So they've obviously kicked their shoes off.

You know, you're sleeping on your chair. It's pretty optimistic that no one's had a dribble on the floor. Like, you're really hoping that it's clean in there. Well, I didn't really think about it, right? I saw them walking in because I remember they had bright socks on, so I clocked the socks. But then I went to the bathroom and it was pretty, it wasn't great. And I was like, hang on a second.

I was like, that's on their sock. Then they're going to walk that back, put that on their seat, put it in their shoe, put it on their, and then. Their armrest. Well, you know what people do, and I reckon Laura's one of them. And then if you're Fergie, pop it in someone's mouth. No, they put their feet on between the chairs in front of you. You know when people, like, rest their legs.

So then that urine sock is going on the chair between the legs. Look, I draw the line at going to a bathroom with socks. I have to wear shoes to a bathroom. But I do sometimes put my feet up. Do you do that sometimes? Oh, Laura puts her feet up everywhere. I have noticed that. You put it up in the studio desk?

She puts it in the car. She puts them up everywhere. I think there are two types of people. People who can sit with their feet and their legs flat normal. And then people who just cannot get comfortable and have to have their legs up all the time. And either they're crossed or they're... You've got restless leg syndrome, do you? No, I just can't sit.

still i am the same i've got adhd that's what it is okay i will sit with my legs up everywhere you'll see on any of these recordings i'll have my knee up at my chest but on a on a flight i'm not going to put my foot up in between someone and have my little toes splattering around touching yeah look it's a real lack of respect but also i think on an airplane the big thing is is like you're there's so many people in such a closed tiny little compartment yeah but you're on it for so long that all sense of like normal etiquette for how you should behave goes out the window you think you're in your own bedroom it's international law yeah exactly you're up there in the air it's just there's no rules what's number two because you said two things

i said the second thing was the urine feet when people put their toes in this it was the piddly toes for number two well it's you when you're laying down and you're like you're trying to get company you see you turn your head to the side and then two centimeters from your eye is a urine toe and you're like get out of my grill can i just say after all the time that we've been banned from flying. I will take the piddly toes. I will take the feet on my seat just to get out and enjoy it, Brittany. 100%.

Can you top it? 13-106-5, what's the grossest thing you've seen on a plane? Because piddly toes ease up there. Maybe you've seen someone sneak out of the bathroom who've just joined the Mile High Club. That's gross. I don't know how people can do that. Have you ever joined Mile High?

No, but I would like to try. I would love to join it. Well, let's see. Can you top Brit's story? 13-106-5. Give us a call here at Life Uncut right around Australia. Just come back from Thailand, ladies and gentlemen. Miss Brittany Hockley, have a cup of cocktails.

Now are we in an elevator? Howdy, Frangipani. This is Tropical Music. I think I've been on hold for 20 minutes to a caller on this video. No, guys, I want to take you to Brittany Hockley with a suntan on. You have a cocktail, Frangipani, behind your ear because you've just had a very stressful flight where people's smelly, gross feet were up on the plane.

They put their piddly feet on her seat. They put their urine toes on the feet. That's it. I just wasn't about it, but I wanted to know what people thought was gross. I think your piddly feet put her up her earth. That's what I'm calling you. I feel victimised here. You guys always come for me in the disgusting things I do.

Not our fault you're pro-biss feet. 131065, what's the grossest thing you've seen on a plane? Let's go to Lisa. Hello, welcome to the holiday club, Lisa. What's the grossest thing you've seen on a plane? Well, I have, well, not myself. My colleague went into the lavatories and found a log on the seat. I mean, to be fair, those seats are very small.

Maybe they missed and didn't realise. A log? We're talking like a nougat. You know those really delicious nougat logs? We're talking like a poopy log. I think we're talking about that. I just need to clarify. It's poo, right, Lisa?

Oh, well, yeah, poo. I don't know how you get it on a seat. Like, how do you? I don't know. Actually, if you accidentally did the whole log, if the whole log, a solid log was there, wouldn't you just, like, flick it into the bowl? Yes, well, exactly right.

That's probably what my colleague had to do to get rid of it. So what I'm taking from this is that we understand a smear, but not a full log. Yes. There we go. I don't understand the smear either. I don't know why. Also, I'd say if your toe's already covered in piss,

give it a little kicking with your foot. You may as well get both on it. Tess. Oh, hi, Tess. Tess, tell us, what's the grossest thing you've seen on a plane? Well, I was flying like budget when I was travelling across Asia and the plane was absolutely packed and there were little kids all around me and one needed to go to the bathroom mid-flight, which is standard.

so the mum grabbed out a bottle and let the kid wee in the bottle beside me and put the lid back on. Why didn't you take him to the toilet? Wait, was there a big line? I have a question and I'm coming to this as a mum. Was there a big line and was the kid very little? It's not Coachella.

There's multiple toilets on the plane. I know, the kid was young and I had my cousin travelling with us as well. The kid was young But like Old enough To know To know

Yes And to not be peeing In a bottle Okay No judgements here Better than peeing In the UNICEF change bag That was in the front of the seat

Or in their pants Yeah True Better than in these pants Or on the person next to you's feet So they can put their feet up On the lounge Oh my god

Okay we have it So Tess we also hear There's one more One more story Yes So I was I like splurged And went business class

Oh you fancy thing And I was like Just a once off thing To experience it and it's, like, middle of the flight, about to, like, lay back, start sleeping, and I look to the side, and there's someone's foot beside me.

Oh, this is... No, not on business. That stuff doesn't fly. And you are on... Well, it literally does fly, but you are on business. There is ample room in your own space. In your own bed. You can get away with that,

but you can't do that stuff in business. So did you kick the foot out? Well, I'm really, like, not confrontational, so I just got a spare blanket and put it over their foot. They would, like, feel it and be like, oh, that's inappropriate, and pull it back. That probably thinks they're keeping my feet warm. I think next time...

Next time, just spill a little bit of water on their feet and then say, oh, sorry, accident, and then they won't do it. They'll get the message. Just clip the toenails with the free Qantas little sanitary pack and be like, ting, ting, here you go, helped you out. The Life Uncut Radio Show. With Britt Hockley and Laura Byrne. We love them!

One kiss. Brittany Hockley, I don't know, I can see over there You've got photos of, is that a nude Pete Davidson? Well, you know what? It is a nude Pete Davidson, but he doesn't look nude. He's got so many tattoos. I'm not ashamed. No, it is what it is.

Also, why are you looking up pictures of nude Pete Davidson like halfway through the show? It's not for my own pleasure. This is because I wanted to talk to you about something. It's an article that I just saw. I think it's a bit OTT. So we all know Pete Davidson and Kim Kardashian. It's all we read on the news.

They're dating. They're in love. But Pete Davidson has like a multitude of tattoos. of Kim and about Kim dedicated to her. Well, he got one recently that said, my girlfriend's a lawyer. My girlfriend's a lawyer. And that's Kim's favourite tattoo.

So she's thriving on this. He's getting her on here. Of course she's thriving. But I mean, she's only passed the baby bar. She's not a lawyer yet. Calm down, Kim. But my question is, if someone, I think if I was in the early days of a relationship

and my partner got a tattoo of my face or something on me, I think I would run. I don't think I'd be going on Ellen DeGeneres and talking about it. I would be, like, a little bit worried that maybe he was going to lock you in a basement, Britt, if he decided to get a tattoo after a couple of weeks. That would give me the ick.

I mean, like, I don't have that problem because I've never had anyone do anything romantic with me ever, so I'm not going to have, like, it's a bit excessive for me to jump to the tattoo thing. Have you ever had a partner do anything super romantic like that? I had a guy once ask me to be his girlfriend on national TV. That's pretty romantic. Yeah, that's the worst. You see, I got dumped on national television talking about

no one's given me any romance. No, but I think, okay, I think it's kind of interesting if you look at, like, what are some of the things that some people would find romantic. Like someone would look at that, getting a tattoo, and see that as being like what a beautiful gesture of commitment and somebody else who wasn't quite as into the relationship would see it as being way too over the top.

Well, I have a few little like romantic things, normal gestures. I want you to tell me if you think too much or if you're happy for them. Breakfast in bed. Sounds great. Do you actually like it? Like the logistics of what that means. If I could spend my entire life inside my bed, I would. Inside?

You wrap yourself in a bed? That's a cocoon of my bed. I think once you have kids, it's really underrated just how much time you want to spend in your bed. Okay, picture this. You've gone for a romantic walk. You're at Sydney Harbour. Flash mob.

Oh, no. The idea of somebody doing a flash mob is my idea of going straight to hell. Okay, do you know what? If my future partner's out there, I would love like a flash mob engagement or something. Oh, God. Too much.

No, but I would want to just dance. Not enough, darling. I would just want to dance. Okay, what about... Sorry, can we just clarify? You want to flash them up so you can be in it. I don't think it works like that. Sorry, I think the whole point is that you're taken by surprise.

You're not down on the curry. They're like, Brittany, read the brief. Okay, what about when it's your birthday or something special? You're at a restaurant. The restaurant's packed. It's very quiet. And then they organise like, you know, when they organise a cake to come out with candles and sparklers

and everyone sings and claps. Oh, I don't mind that. I know some people are very, Matt hates that. It's like his idea of hell as well. He just doesn't like the public eyes on him, but I really like to get the entire restaurant singing. Up on tables, everybody. Oh, Sam, I'm pointing at families, kids in high chairs.

I'm like, you will sing, you infant. You don't have vocal cords, but you'll sing. It's like six months old. Oh, gotcha. And what would it take for you to get a tattoo of Matt on your body? I'm going to get a tattoo for my girls. Is that too over the top? Just like a name, their name?

Matt has Marley's birth date on his arm. He hasn't gotten Lola's yet. Poor thing. When you've got the second child, you get forgotten about. But I'm going to get a matching tattoo with him, and then we're both going to get our youngest. Does that make us cringe that we're going to have matching tattoos? So it'll go Marley, Lola, Brittany, right?

Yeah, that's exactly it. Love that. And then Mitch Turi on my butt. One on each cheek, baby. All right, we're done, girls. What a good first show back. We've rested on a nice holiday. And that is it.

Please tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends to share the love because we love love. Missed any of the Life Uncut radio show with Britt Hockley and Laura Baird? Hear it in the Catch Up podcast on iHeartRadio.