Life Uncut - LIFE UNCUT RADIO - 8th October

Episode Date: October 8, 2022

It's Laura's Hens weekend, and we momentarily let the strippers to fend for themselves while we did our radio show! Every Saturday we are live across the country with the Life Uncut Radio show, and here are the best bits all bundled up for your listening pleasure. We are joined by our bloody funny co-host Mitch Churi and we are unpacking all things low brow and mildly important.  If you love the pod, give us a follow on @lifeuncutpodcast on instagram and join the Life Uncut Podcast Facebook Discussion group.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders, past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode is recorded on Gadigal land of the Aurora Nation. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. And I'm Brittany, and this is a wild, wild Saturday radio show. It's not that wild. We are having, well, I mean, not for you.

I have a bottle of champagne in my hand. I'm wearing a Bride to Be veil, and I have a sash. What does it even say on it? Oh, also Bride to Be, original. I mean, what do you, okay, what did you want me to write on it? You're literally the Bride to Be, but it's Laura's. One penis for life. That's what I wanted, Brittany Hockley.

One penis. That's back at the Hens. It is Laura's Hens Party weekend. So this is our Saturday radio show. So we had to interrupt this weekend away so we could come do the radio show and now we're going to revisit the hens. If you've been watching across socials, you would know that this all started on Friday, Saturday radio,

and then we're leaving radio to go and actually be one with the strippers. I don't actually know what's happening, but you know what? It's been a wild ride. Well, we did kick Mitch off the radio show today because it was a hens party only show. Because he called in sick, so that was the other reason why he couldn't join. Yeah, but even if he wasn't sick, he wasn't allowed. You can't sit with us.

We have such a great show lined up for you today, though. Okay, so we wanted to know, we unpack what are the worst hens horror stories that you've ever experienced. And let me tell you, I'm just hoping that mine is nothing like yours. Well, you definitely, there are a number of broken bones. You do not want to break a bone when your wedding is only a few weeks away. It's only five weeks. It's five weeks away.

That's insane. I know, especially because I have so many things that are not planned or booked in yet. It gives me wild levels of anxiety, like it fluctuates through my body. Yes, absolutely. I think you should be worried. And then I like to pretend like it didn't happen and then I get worried again. I'm supposed to soothe you?

You should be worried. We also have Darren McMullin stopping by. Darren McMullin is the host of the new, I don't know if you guys have been watching it, is the new love show. He's, well, Laura gave him a, what name did you give him? The Captain of Love. No, I think I said he was the, I don't even know. I mean, he is the Captain of Love because he's on the love boat.

The show is called The Real Love Boat and it's putting just like really hot, young, sexy people on a boat in the Mediterranean, giving them some cocktails, letting them float around and do whatever happens. and I think, like, this sounds, I mean, amazing, yes, but wild. But also speaking of Darren, he makes himself sound like he's, like, the old man of the boat. He was like, no, I'm too old for these people. I just walked around and imparted my life advice on them all.

I was like, bro, you don't even have 10 years on us. I was like, you're fine. You're, like, 40. You'll be fine. And plenty of 40-year-olds are dating 20-year-olds. I mean, look at Leonardo DiCaprio. Also, my supermarket saga, you know this dating supermarket thing that I've been talking about?

We've been speaking about this for weeks, literally three weeks now. Brit and her, like, her plea to find a man in Woolworths. Well, it's gone viral. you're welcome. It's made it to the UK. There's been some articles about it. I've had lots of people sending it to me. So we're going to unpack whether it actually works because we've been talking about it. Was it a myth? Does it actually? Is there a success story? I don't know because you never know. There is currently a Daily Mail article, which we do talk about and I just I'm pulling it back up. Britt, there's now a hundred comments on this Daily Mail article. No, no,

that doesn't sound like a lot. But usually on any Daily Mail article, there's like one or two, unless it's about Meghan Markle. But this is like people are caring so much about this that it's fucking weird yeah but there's also a lot of people like get a grip girl go to university get an education I'm like hey lucky I do have an education but that's it loads coming up on the show we hope you have as much fun today as we have had partying in studio today all right let's get into the show right around Australia the life on cart radio show with Brit Hockley and Laura Byrne and Laura it is your hands weekend you have come in actually it started last night you've taken a break you've come in this is how much I love this show I couldn't even take actually they wouldn't

let me take a Saturday off. I tried and they said, well, if you want time off for your wedding, you can't take today off. So I'm here. Also, can I just say, Missy, our producer, brought in champagne this morning and it is a very interesting colour. Oh, my God. It has zero bubbles and it is flat and very yellow.

Look, it's a beautiful champagne. Thank you so much, producer, Missy. We are grateful. What else you can be grateful for is I've got you some things to wear today. It's your hen's party. I've got you a sash. I've got your beautiful sash here that says bride to be. I've got you a little, like, headband with a veil,

so I'm just going to quickly give those to you now. Do I have to wear this for the whole show? Yep, the whole show. Okay, hold on. All right, this is... I've got a little bride tribe, so I'll, like, bride tribe with you. I can't wait. I can't fit it on over my headphones.

Put your sash on. Wow. And to kick off the hens, we have a game. Now, I called Matty J. I want to know how well you know each other. So I've asked Matty J some questions, and I want you to answer them, and we've got to see if you get the same answer. I feel like I know him very well.

I spend a lot of time with him. Missy's laughing at me right now because she can't take me seriously. But does he know you? Do I look good, though? This is what I want to know. I'm just hoping this is what you wear on your actual wedding day. All right, we're going to kick this off. How well do you know each other, a.k.a. should you get married?

Laura Byrne, who is your celebrity crush? Now, that's what you think Matt will say. I reckon he probably said himself, but let's go with Jason Momoa. Is Mattie J a celebrity? He didn't say that yet. Without question would be Jason Momoa. Which is very concerning because he's about 110 kilos, long hair and a beard. Very different to how I look.

He's also in Bondi at the moment. He was at my house last night, yes. Laura, what would your last meal be tonight? You're on death row tomorrow. What are you going to eat tonight? It's Thai. It would be a Wai Yu beef salad from Grab Thai in Bondi. Laura's last meal would be, okay, there's two options here.

The first would be a Thai chicken stir-fry with peanut sauce. Close, but not it. Or, not to put tickets on myself, but she does like my chicken pie. Oh, no. It's a very good dish. Okay, I thought he was going to say the prawn pasta. He does make a very good prawn pasta. His chicken pie is also very good,

but I kind of sometimes encourage him to make it when I'm being lazy and I want him to cook. So I think I've over-inflated how much I like it just so he'll do it for me. All right, favourite sex position, Laura Byrne? Missionary. Laura's favourite sex position I think would be, and I don't want to make us sound really beige here,

but it would be missionary. I think 95% of the time that we have sex, it's missionary, but it just works. If it's not broke, don't try and fix it. It's the best seven minutes of my life, baby, don't worry. Seven? He said three. Laura, what's your pet peeve? My pet peeve would have to be, well,

one, when Matt leaves his clothes on the floor, But also, Matt has no qualms with farting at any time, anywhere. It doesn't matter where I am. His farting is my biggest pet peeve. I think there's two for pet peeve. One would be whenever I brush my teeth and I have a bit of toothpaste foam around my mouth and I wipe it on a towel.

Laura hates that so much. That's very specific. I hate it. Or when we go to bed and we say goodnight and then I start asking her questions about anything, like the kids or daycare or the wedding or anything like that. She hates it. Okay, how annoying.

You guys are not doing very well on this. How old do you know each other, kids? Does anyone know where we're at to in the tally? Where's the score? You're failing miserably. I think I got one right. Okay, the very last one. This is going to be make or break.

What is your worst habit? I don't know. It's not a habit. I reckon he's going to say something about my dry feet. I have really dry. You do. You pick them all the time. I have the driest feet.

It's so gross. They're so dry. He always tells me that I'm going to rip our bedsheets with my dry feet. How you got your own wiki feet page is beyond me. Because they can't tell texture from the photos. They can't see just how deep those crevices go. Laura's worst habit. I mean, it's very difficult for me to pick a worst habit for Laura

because, as we all know, she is perfect. Thank you. But if I had to pick something, it would be the fact that it takes her between four to six hours to drink a cup of coffee. Or it would be the fact that whenever I make her a cup of tea, and this is going as far back to when we first started dating, she only ever takes, I would say, three sips and then lets it go cold and then she forgets about it.

Look, I mean, yesterday I bought you a coffee and you had to reheat it five times. It was a five-hour coffee. I don't mind drinking a cold tea or a cold coffee. But also, I'm really glad that we decided to, like, I baby-trapped him with two children prior to getting married because he doesn't have a say in it anyway. Lucky you locked him down because you sound hideous.

No, I think that, I think, look, I think you got more wrong than right but I'm going to also allow this wedding to go forward because I loved the both of you. Thank you so much for giving us your blessing this late in the piece, Brittany. Now it is time for... That is the funniest sting I have ever heard. That intro from Britbusters.

This is a new thing we're going to do. What is Britbusters? Well, it just happened very organically. Isn't that a good word? Organic, like fruit, organic. That's going to be our first myth. There's a little hook for you. Look, we're going to start, this came off the back of something we spoke about the last

few weeks about like this, is this supermarket dating a thing? That was a question we had, right, Laura, the last two weeks, this going into a supermarket and putting your bananas upright, does that signal you're single? Well, for anyone who doesn't know, Brittany came in last week and she said that there's a brand new dating phenomena that you can go into your coals or your willies, go into your coals or your willies, you put your bananas upright in the trolley, in the front of your trolley, and that means that you're open to a relationship. And there is some, like, very classic dating signals

that you can kind of lean into. Well, it was a question. It was like, is this a thing? Is this a myth or a legend? Is this real or not? And then we said Brittany needed to go away and try it for herself in real life. But in the meantime, there's also been a wonderful article

that's come out in the Daily Mail, UK, of course. The secret language of supermarket dating, Brittany Hockley reveals the codes and special trolley items that signal you want to pick up on the grocery run. You are welcome. Not all heroes wear capes. Some of them have bananas. Did you go? Did you do it? What happened? Give me the 411.

I need to tell you, I did an online shop, so it didn't work, but I was running low on time. I had calls delivered, but I did do my due diligence. I put it out to the listeners. I put it out to everybody. And I said, has this ever happened to you? Do you know anyone it's happened to? Are there success stories? And I am so happy to report there are success stories. We had people write in this has been around since the 60s apparently and if you do your research it is but I had people write in saying that their grandparents got together in the fruit aisle because of having bananas in the trolley so I think that's absolutely brilliant I'm just not sure if the specific supermarkets you can only go to okay I'm still dumbfounded though that this

made international news one of my favorite and I want to read this out this is a comment that's on the article it says as a single middle-aged man I can't help but feel my basket that contains a microwave ready meal for one a bottle of lubricant a box of tissues and a woman's weekly edition magazine featuring Australian women Olympic swimmers might give the jig up. There's a few other things in the shopping centre that might indicate where you're at in your relationship. This man is

flying the single flag loud and proud. Hang on. Becky, we have Becky on the line. Becky, where have you just called from? Please tell me you're calling from a supermarket. No, not right now, but I thought it was so funny that you guys were talking about this because I didn't know it was a thing and funny enough, that's how I met

my now partner. Okay, wait, but how? As in, like, what happened, what was there? What piece of fruit was in the trolley? Was it a rock-hard banana? Yes, it was a banana. I was just doing my usual weekly shop, and this man just approaches me. Okay, so just picture as well, I've got some ripe bananas sitting in my front tray. And he comes straight up to me, and he goes,

hey, like, there's some nice bananas you got there. And I was like, whoa, where did you come from and why are you talking about my bananas? We just kind of hit it off, though. He just kept talking to me. We started exchanging numbers, and then on our first date, I was like, hey, what was with the banana thing? Like, it was pretty forward of you to just start commenting on my banana. Because you would think he was, like, that sounds to me like a sexual innuendo.

It sounds like he's trying to be suggestive about other things. I was a bit taken aback by it. Well, then he explained to me the whole banana situation means you're single, and I was like, what? I've never heard of that. So apparently it's kind of old school, but it's coming back. I don't even know. But we've been together for a while now.

This is brilliant. So it does work. It's just that some people don't know what's happening, like yourself. Yeah. There we go. One and our very first Brit Busters off the ranks. Do you know what? Something else I wanted to talk about and coming up.

Kanye West. Or do we call him Ye now? Well, his name's not Kanye. It's technically, it's legally Ye. It's Ye. All right. Well, Ye. Now, the Paris Fashion Show, which was on this week,

there was one show in particular. It was the Balenciaga secret fashion show that has us talking. And we have a few feelings about it. It's very controversial, a little bit tone deaf. I have some feelings, but that's coming up next. It was Paris Fashion Week this week, and there has been one particular fashion show. Well, actually, I think it's one particular person that has caused quite the uproar. I feel like it's always one particular person that is causing the uproar.

It is Kanye West, well, previously known as Kanye West. We now call him Yee. Now, it started off, there was a Balenciaga secret fashion show, and it kind of looked like a war zone. It didn't really have, there wasn't a lot of information that has come out around, like, the purpose of it, what was the theming behind it. Well, it looked like a big, muddy battlefield. That is, from an outside perspective, looking in, that's what it was,

like a battlefield, a war zone. It looked gloomy, dark, ominous. It was not... And I didn't get a good vibe from it. Well, no, no one did. There was a massive trench that was dug out in the middle of it, which was meant to look like a huge grave. And the whole experience around this show was that you were meant

to feel like you were walking through the terrain of a battlefield, which I think in the political climate of what is going on in the world at the moment is very tone deaf when it doesn't seem like there was a true like political reason behind it. It's not like Balenciaga has come out and said, look, this is the statement we were trying to make. It just feels like it's glamorising war. I find this a little bit disgusting in bad taste and tone deaf

and I don't love Kanye West anyway, but I thoroughly dislike the man now. He's tipped me over the edge. You know what, though? You have to give him props. He's not giving him any props. You can give him the props. He's not getting one prop from me. The props I'm giving him is that he's very good at keeping relevant.

Like he's very good at drumming up as much media attention as possible. And I think it's the old adage of like, you know, even bad publicity is good publicity, right? Okay, usually I would say yes, and he's very, very good at that. But I think he has gone too far now. This is really pushing his white supremacy ideology, which he has done multiple times in the past, and usually people are on board with him.

Celebrity friends, everyone gives him a bit of a pass, and they're like, okay, we get why he did it. People have turned against him on this. There have been a lot of people coming out, making their statements, saying we are not on board with you anymore, you've gone one step too far. Well, that is because the second part of the show, so obviously there was the Balenciaga show,

that had a bit of controversy around it, but then the real thing that everyone's been talking about this week is that for his own Yeezy show, he came wearing a White Lives Matters T-shirt. Now, I don't, I mean, he hasn't made a lot of statements off the back of it to say what the purpose was for it, But it was alongside Candace Owen. She is a right-winged political commentator.

So I think anyone can read between the lines of what the point is that he was trying to make here. But it just really delegitimises how much of the conversation that's been happening this year around the Black Lives Matters movement and it causes so much confusion. And something that's happened this week off the back of it is that because of him wearing this shirt, because he holds such power in pop culture,

the hashtag of White Lives Matters has been trending across the world. And I think that that is the real powerful part of this. Like, of course, politics and fashion, they can emulate each other. They link in at different times. But I think him being so powerful but him also being so unstable, it's well documented that he has bipolar, I think it's a really dangerous combination. He put on his stories, quote,

everyone knows that Black Lives Matter was a scam. So this is a common theme that has been appearing in Kanye West's life for quite a while. I honestly don't think that he realised just how much negative backlash like I think he was trying to get a reaction with this statement but I don't think he realized how much negative backlash he would have received because what I find really interesting is what's happened in the last couple of days and it's been his reaction to the backlash instead of him acknowledging the t-shirt he's tried to deflect the whole situation

around his custody battles with Kim Kardashian which I think trying to like change the narrative so that the press and the media have something else to focus on and throwing your ex-wife under the bus there's another there's another notch on the hugely problematic belt that is ye he's a key deflector but he's pissed everyone off even even even the fashion week even me and i'm not even into fashion i am ticked off we could talk about this forever and we don't we don't want to be on here having a win well you know it's been a big week in political fashion statements you know what else has been a big week in brit and i we had the launch of our very first and only book that we've written together only and last it's called we love love and we would love to tell you a little bit

about some of the deeper parts that you wouldn't have heard about. Britt has a few very special stories in there. Some funny parts. I also have a few things, you know, some of it's got to do with being in the bedroom. Now, it is a very big Saturday today, big because both Britt and I have a glass of champagne in our hands. Or you have a bride-to-be veil in your hair.

You have a sash, a water time to be alive. It is my hen's party, which, you know, I didn't opt to have my hen's party at work. We've left my hen's party and come to work. But, you know, Britt, we were talking about it just before. Horror hens parties. And then I remembered a girlfriend of mine just two weeks ago, she had her hens party.

I mean, we're more like a work acquaintance, so I wasn't at this hens party. But she was home by 7pm because she went so hard, so fast, that from 3 o'clock to 7 o'clock she was so legless that she had to go home and be tucked into bed. I think that this is a thing. It was my sister's hens just two weeks ago and we started at midday and I think it was probably, I mean, we went further than that,

maybe 9.30 p.m., maybe 10 if I'm at a stretch. But, like, we called it. We were like, we are all cooked. But that's a big, that is a big time of drinking. Okay, but what do I have in store for me? So we are leaving today. We're going to leave today and we're going to go on the rest of the hen's party. We are leaving.

I have a stretch hummer or something with some sort of nudity going on inside. And I want every phallic-shaped object, like a straw. I want a piñata. But also we were talking about what are your horror hen stories. 131065, Shauna. Hi. Hi, it was actually my sister's hen's party we did four weeks ago. So basically we did some trapezing up in the sky.

I don't know, do you guys know what trapezing is? Do you know why I know this? Because that was Maddie J's first like group date with Georgia Love. They went trapezing. It's like acrobatics, right? You're like swinging around. Yes, yes, yes. That's a very ambitious hen's party when I'm guessing there's a bit of drinking going on.

It's too athletic for me. Well, we thought we could do it, but it turns out not so much. So the hen basically went up there, she grabbed the bar, then just fell straight onto her leg. We thought she might have just sprained it, but it turns out she actually fractured her leg. And we had partying and everything that night. And next day it turns out fractured in a moon boot for her whole wedding.

And she was getting, oh, so she's the bride. Yeah, well, the wedding is this weekend. So four weeks ago she did it and she needs to be in the moon boot for six weeks. The whole wedding and honeymoon. How did she plan on getting down the aisle? Is she going to hobble down or someone's going to carry her? Yeah, she's going to hobble down. Thank you so much, Shara.

We have Georgia on the line. Georgia, what was your horror hen story? Hey, girls. So, look, I was the horror at the hen's party and I was also the host of the hen's party. Oh, you weren't even the hen? No, I was a bridesmaid hosting at my house. Oh, what did you do?

So, look, my girls were five and one at the time, So I peaked bloody early, okay? I was ready for this hen's party. By four in the afternoon in the limo back to our house, I filled not one but two champagne flutes with my own vomit. I mean, in your defence, a flute's pretty narrow. I'm looking at one now because we are having champagne right now. Like that is not a lot of vomit.

So I feel like you're not doing too badly. I'm actually really impressed by the skill that you had to be able to get it into the flute. Like that's how much went everywhere else. And you have to wait for elegance and grace. I didn't spill the drop. You'd have to put your lips, can you show us, Laura? You'd have to put your lips inside of the glass.

No, in the, oh my, that was not what I, no. Lucky Maddie J, hey? I was going for this. Like in the glass like this. Okay, I put mine over the glass. Anyway, Georgia, how did the bride respond to all this? Oh, look, she had a great time. This was a COVID-delayed hen's party.

So we were all like ready for this hen's party, okay? There were photos, everyone just loved it. I got brought up in the groom's speech at the wedding. Like it was, I was the entertainment basically. Well, you know what? Mum to mum, I feel like that could be where I am come three o'clock because I'm very much looking forward to it. Okay, that is enough.

Thank you so much, Georgia. We can't scare Laura anymore because we've got to go get on this hen's party started. And coming up next, we have Darren McMullen talking love. He's the host of The Real Love Boat on 10, the brand new show. Laura, have you seen it? I've seen the first one but not the second episode yet and I can't wait to hear what's happening.

We have the master of love, the host of love. We've got Darren McMullen, the host of the new 10 series, The Love Boat, which premiered this week. Darren, welcome to Life Uncut. Hello. How do you think? The master of love. I've always been called the jack of all trades, master of none.

I was going to say that. So master of love, I will take that. How do we think Osher feels, Laura, about you throwing that master of love word around so freely? Do we call Darren the captain of love? Ahoy, ahoy me hearty. That is far more fitting. Darren, have you found love?

Not you found love. Get straight to the point. Have you assisted some couples on the real love boat with love? Can you tell us? Do we get a happy ending? I would like to have a happy ending. Jesus, this is a dark turn, isn't it? It does that on Life Uncut.

Listen, yes, I have before, regretfully. I thought it was a legitimate massage place and it turns out it wasn't. Look, it happens to the best of us. It's fine. I was too far in before I realized, but that was a long time ago. I don't think you're ever too far in. Hang on, there are so many puns that we could be going down here. Okay, stop, stop, stop, stop.

Let's get back to the show. No, I think actually, yes. We have a, to my knowledge, there are still two couples together. And there was a lot with great potential that I haven't heard from. So perhaps they're still together as well. So there really was something in the Arab or in the Mediterranean. But, you know, you get a bunch of young, hot singles cruising around the Med in the middle of summer and going on amazing destination dates in Tuscany and Rome and Marseille.

It's, you know, sparks are a-flying. Now, what is it like for you, being the host and being stuck on this show, when everybody else who is in there is single, you're surrounded by beautiful, as you said, hot single couples, not even couples yet. Is there ever a time where you're like, oh, yeah, I could date one of these? One of these? Like they're an object? No, I mean, I just turned 40, so I'm a little out of the demographic.

I mean, most people on the show are like 20, maybe early 30s at most. So to them, I was like the old guy hosting. You're the godfather of the show. The Godfather, yes. But because of that, they did reach out to me a lot of times. And, you know, I was very particular about jumping into all situations and hearing them out and being very involved in the show. Before I went in, I was aware of who was having connections.

I was aware of who wasn't. So if everyone was face-to-face and we had a decision about who was going to go on the destination dates or not and somebody told me a porky pie, I could jump in right away and go, well, that's actually not true. I watched the whole date. And I think they're just faking it just to get off the ship. So did you call a few people out for being fakies?

Did you call a few people out saying, I don't actually believe you're that into that person and you just want some screen time? Yeah, as soon as I joined the captain's table, which is coming up at five or six, everything gets shaken up. So essentially that's their chance to pitch for the best relationship to go on to these destination dates, which we have in these wonderful money can't buy experiences.

And there was a couple of people I was aware of at that point that maybe weren't there for the right reasons. And I'd just come off Celebrity Apprentice, and I think I was channeling my inner Lord Sugar. And, yeah, I really grilled a lot of them. I was like, you know what? I think you're absolutely full of crap, and you're not here for the right reasons.

I think probably it was a good cop, bad cop situation with Hannah and myself probably being the bad cop, and then we've got the lovely beauty to come in and pick up the T-shirts because she's always nice. Darren, quick fire, would you be The Bachelor? I don't think so. I think most of the relationships I've had I've met quite organically, and beyond the apps, beyond TV shows,

I think the best way to meet someone is, I don't know, through a friend or at a bar or through a hobby of yours. So, no. I was going to say single person to single person. What does organically mean to you? How are you doing it? Because I'm stuck. Someone just told me to go to a supermarket fruit department to meet someone.

I was like, surely I'm not there yet. Well, that's very L.A., actually. I think everybody hanging out in Whole Foods and Air One in L.A. It's just simply there to pick up people. Eating vegan green juices. Yeah. Look at all these amazing foods I'm cooking up tonight. I've only had some of the cooks for.

Darren, will you stick around after the break? We want to play a game with you that we play with all our guests. It is called Head Lies. We want you to debunk the headlines written about you. So stick around. We'll get to that soon. Now it is time for this. I can't lie.

Head Lies. Darren McMullen, you are the host of Tan's new series, The Real Love Boat. We do a game with all our guests on the show. It is called Head Lies, and that is your opportunity to debunk some of the headline or headlines that have been written about you. Britt, you can kick it off with number one. All right.

Can I just go full Donald Trump on this and just deny everything? Yeah, yes, yes, absolutely. You can say it is fake news. But you know what? We know the truth, so we may hold you accountable. Okay, headline or headlight? Entertainment for Laura Byrne's hen's party is revealed. Darren McMullen to serenade the girls on a multimillion-dollar yacht

on Sydney Harbour. It is Laura's hens today, by the way, Darren. Well, I mean, I'm waiting for it. Is that a headline? Darren, are you coming to Serenata tonight? You do like being on a boat, so... I... Well, do I ruin the surprise?

Well, yeah, maybe we won't. Maybe we don't ruin that. We'll catch. I'm exciting in you. Come aboard, Laura. We're expecting you. I don't know if this is having the desired effect. I'm just going to put that out there.

Sorry, Darren. Darren, I think the panties just went on. All right. Darren McMullen reveals he's meeting women on Instagram. That's a lie. Oh, God. Well, apparently it's the truth. It's a headline from Daily Mail 2019.

According to who? The Daily Mail and they never lie. I love how you said it's true because the Daily Mail said it. I know, she should know, but we know that they always tell the truth. It's like the National Enquirer. Okay, let's see what we've got here. The masked singer's prawn is finally exposed. That's a headline.

Okay, we got one finally. Yeah, booyah. All right, I have got one more for you. I will say that's a lot worse than it sounds. You know, I wasn't exposing myself in appropriate places. You didn't expose your prawn? But also, it's one of those... I exposed my head and not that head.

Darren, you'd hope the headline wasn't exposed prawn and it'd be like exposed whale or something. A prawn's a bit smaller. You know what, though? I would be offended by this. You know the old saying about a prawn? It's like pull the head off and the body's okay. Darren, I would have a problem with that.

No, I'm the opposite. My body is absolutely horrendous and my face is okay. And you take what you can get, right? Okay, all right. Aussie TV host Darren McMullen and The Block's Ronnie Sparkup new bromance. Oh, that's an absolute head lie. Oh, and why is that?

Yeah, that seemed like there was some... There is absolutely no love lost between me and Ronnie from The Block, that is for sure. Darren, thank you so much for joining us on the show. We've loved speaking for you. And if you want to watch The Real Love Boat, it airs every Wednesday and Thursday at 7.30 on 10. Up next, we have confessionals where for some reason you guys want to vent and tell us your deepest, darkest secrets.

Look, we're not mad about it because they're pretty funny. Laura, can I say you look magnificent today. What have you done with your hair here? Do you like my little veil? Actually, what have I done with my hair? You made me wear this for the entire show. If you have just joined us, this weekend is my hen's party and I rocked up today and I've been given a sash. I've been given a veil.

I was given a glass of champagne. I am not complaining about that part of it. It has been a very good day. Your sash has glitter on it. It's catching my eye. It's catching the light. The veil is, I mean, I can only hope that that is similar to the actual wedding veil you wear.

One might think I'm either a spectacle or I look spectacular, one of the two. The line is very blurred. Why can't they go hand in hand? That's what I want to know. Why can't they? All right, it is time for a favourite segment. We haven't done it in a while, but I'm thinking now is the time.

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. This is Confessionals. Now, we get so many people writing the weird and wonderful to Life Uncut. Well, we get so many. Often we get questions. We do Ask Uncut, where you guys write in your deepest, darkest, burning questions. But we also very frequently get in some secrets. And we have some absolute doozies.

It's almost like we receive these with the expectation that it absolves some of your sins. It does. To be clear, it does not absolve anything. But keep them coming. You have been absolved. Amen. Say three Hail Fathers. It's a quarter Hail Father.

I don't even know. Look, Hail Marys. Okay, you tell me if you are going to absolve this sin. I'm going to kick off with a pretty big one. I have been sleeping with a guy for three years now. He has a girlfriend. Oh, no. And they have a house and a dog together.

We have the same name as well. I love the excitement. No, that's too naughty. Do you know what? I like it when these things are really trivial stuff, not when they're like home-wrecking terrible things. This makes me feel bad, like I need to call the boyfriend. Well, I'm not about it.

You're like, I'm shocked. I was looking, I was like, is there a phone number? I was like, well, no, I'm not about it. I'm not absolving anything from this. I think that you need to stop doing this immediately. Excitement aside, same name aside, I'm sorry, having the same name as the person's partner you're having the affair with makes it very easy to cheat, though,

because you just have to have the one name in the phone. You could be texting whoever. Or you could just send off the same text, copy, paste. Off it goes. 100%, not absolving it. Okay, all right, I've got another one. So that's a big no. This one gave me a little bit of a giggle, but for all the wrong reasons.

My boyfriend believes we started dating in January, on January 18, 2018. And I thought that it was actually July 2018. So I was still casually dating other people for six months. Do you need to tell? Like, if you thought, if your partner thought that you were in a committed relationship and you thought that you were single and there's been ambiguity for six months, like, he's going to think that he was cheated on for six months. But six months is a big time for one of you to think you're in the relationship

and the other not. Like, you guys, if anything, need to work on your communication. That's what I think. Oh, I don't know. I almost think like, no, just take it to the grave, that one. Don't tell anyone. Okay, what about this? This is a sin.

But my friend and I hated this teacher that we had. And before our year 12 graduation, we backwashed into the religious wine and the teacher drunk it. You, I mean, hopefully, was this before COVID? You can't go and spit into something. You can't spit into wine pre-COVID. I mean, yeah, ever. But like during COVID, this is a big no-no. But that is it from us today, guys.

We've got to get going because Laura Byrne has to get to her hen's party. We're halfway through. We need to get you back to some strippers. We need to get you drinking again. Oh, hey, is there strippers? I told you. You won't tell me anything. You've got Jason Momoa and Dara McMullen.

What more do you want, woman? All right. I'm just expecting to get there and Maddie J is going to rock up and do a strip show. That's about all we have time for. Now, this week on the podcast, if you want to listen to some more Life Uncut, we are interviewing Rob Mills and his amazing new book that he has out. He's speaking about everything from mental health to his time going from being a reality TV icon to being a Broadway sensation.

He truly is such a warm and wonderful person to speak with. And just to falling in love too. I really loved chatting to him. He was, it was really incredible and he was funny. He was really, really funny, but that is coming out on Tuesday. You can get that anywhere you get your podcasts. And speaking of, he's not the only one on the book out. We have a book out too this week called We Love Love.

And you can get that from all good bookstores and also some terrible bookstores as well. We do not discriminate. It's available everywhere. And that is it from us. You know the drill. Don't forget to tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends and share the love because we love love.