Life Uncut - LIFE UNCUT RADIO SHOW - 5th March

Episode Date: March 5, 2022

Here it is Lifer, our Saturday morning radio show packaged up into one tasty little morsel for you all. It has been a big week, and although we have plenty of things to celebrate on this episode with Mardi Gras and International Women's Day, we did also say goodbye to Australia's cricket hero Shane Warne. Britt and Laura write letters to their 14 year old selves, a little life advice looking back and we speak with Anthony Callea and Vanessa Amarossi. It's an episode for... "absolutely everybody".... see what we did there.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders, past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode is recorded on Gadigal land of the Aurora Nation. Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. This is our Saturday. Oh, hang on, who are you?

I'm Laura. That's Brittany. It's the same every week. Nothing's changed. But this is our Saturday morning radio show. It is. This is, well, it's the nice little tight package up edition of the radio show. We cut out all the ads and stuff.

We cut out the songs. We just give you the really juicy content. We do have some juicy content for you today. Everybody likes a tight package, I would like to say. Especially on Mardi Gras. Oh, yeah, look, I mean, when we're recording this, it is actually Mardi Gras tonight. So there's a lot of Mardi Gras content in this radio show.

It is a celebration that should not, cannot, and will not be ignored, and we're very excited for it. But we do have a couple of things that we cover on today's show. One of the big ones is that this week on Tuesday, which you guys will hear about on our Tuesday episode, But because this is the radio show that kind of coincides with what's happening next week, it's International Women's Day on March 8th, which is Tuesday. And we wanted to take a little moment to really acknowledge what an important day it is. And we did a little segment on today's radio show where Britt and I both wrote letters to our younger self.

Without knowing what the brief was or what the other person wrote. We didn't know what the vibe was. We didn't know how long it was. We were just like, hey, what do you want to say to your 14-year-old self? and yeah oh yeah i tried to keep mine a little bit like at a national radio level i guess i was like how deep do i want to go how much of my tortured soul do i want to bear so i kept mine a little bit more serbs level and then laura really brought home for us and i fucking cried on national radio everyone really did a home run no i i mean it's like your 20s and your teens are

such hugely transformative times in your life and it was i don't know it's kind of special to look back and be like if i could go back and give myself a little bit of advice what would that be just don't care as much as you you know nothing matters everything that you think matters when you're 14 doesn't matter when you're 30 put it that way 100 but we also have some really great people phoning in we speak to anthony kalia he was on goggle box actually he's done every pretty much every he's literally done every reality show there is probably done the most reality shows probably out of any australian celebrity when you think about it he's almost done besides the bachelor which he's not going to do because he's in a relationship but besides that i feel like

he's touched on them all totally if he wasn't happily married he would be doing maths and oh no we shouldn't say he would be but like if he wasn't happily married he might have also done those two but he is and we also got to speak to Vanessa Amorosi who fangirl oh my god it's just like such a high school like moment for us because she was so fucking big when we were and she still is but she was like that time of like absolutely everybody yeah it was like a real it's a real personal highlight any of the real youngins that might be listening now that don't know I mean like If you don't know absolutely everybody, the song by Vanessa Amorosi, I was 13 when it came out.

So if you are younger, you might not, you might not have heard it, but do yourself a favour. It is an absolute banger. Oh, go on, Mitch, play a little bit of it. Come on. Mitch Turi's lurking here in the background. I can't hear it. Is that the right one?

No, that's Shakespeare. This is Vanessa Amorosi. This is the hit from Vanessa Amorosi. I had to have my headphones on. Is this it? Is this the one? Yay! Everybody in the whole wide world.

Okay, so if that... Bitch, you threw me under the bus. No one needs to hear that voice. Okay, if that doesn't put you in the mood for Mardi Gras tonight, then I don't know what will. It's such a great episode. We do an Ask Uncut as well, but that is all we're going to tell you. You're going to have to listen to the rest of the episode.

Let's get into it. The Life Uncut radio show. With Britt Hockley and Laura Byrne. We love them! One kiss. Ladies, Tuesday, March 8th, it's coming up. It's International Women's Day, which is a very exciting day. It is a very, very big day, a very important day.

And to celebrate, we have, well, we've written letters to ourselves, to our younger selves, but we were also asked to write letters to our younger selves. No, but we did it with joy and jubilee. Do you know what? I think International Women's Day is such an incredible day to take stock of, one, how far we've come. Like, you know, women, we can do it.

I mean, we shouldn't say we can do anything. There's still a lot of inequalities in different ways. But we can do anything. But we live in such an incredible time. Like, we have so much agency over all different types of career paths over whether we want to be mums or not be mums. Like there's so much more choice now and we live in such a great time for that.

So I think International Women's Day is a wonderful time to reflect on that and it's also a great time to like say thank you to the people who have been impactful in your life, you know, the women that have made a real difference, whether it's your mum, whether it's your boss, whoever it is. Also to look back as well. Well, I was going to say maybe I missed the boat here, but I didn't.

My letter is not thanking anyone. My letter is literally to my 14-year-old self. But also I think that that's it, right? like you as an adult now looking back and talking to your 14 year old self and saying like these are the lessons that i wish i could impart on you you know you you're going to be the leader to your 14 year old self that you wish you had at the time well laura's got one we'll do that later in the show but now brit uh we'll turn our mics off and we'll sit and we will we'll hear this letter that you've penned to your 14 year old self yeah and i just want to make a note laura and i don't know

the vibe of each other's letter we don't know what we wrote we don't know the length we literally we both got the brief write a letter so here we are i think i might cry i tried to read my back and then I started crying and I was like oh dear god we're definitely not on par well then your laptop died and maybe that was why you couldn't read it all right dear little brit i'm writing this dear little brit dear little brit dear little brit i'm writing this to you as i sit in a studio behind a microphone with two great humans as co-hosts because believe it or not you have your own national radio show which came about because of the success of a podcast you are going to start so i want to start by giving you a heads up every report of every year of your entire youth your

teachers are going to write brit has a lot of potential but she seems to talk too much so to you i say ignore those teachers and don't stop talking because one day that talking will allow you to pay a professional to do your eyebrows and your hair because you're going to have some real touch and go do-it-yourself moments over the years please please step away from the tweezers and go to a professional you're also going to want to dye your hair blonde multiple times it would be my best advice to fight that urge you are going to thank me later your path in love and life is not going to be straightforward in fact you'll get lost many times on that journey you're going to go over a fair few speed bumps stumble across your fair

share of please turn back this is a no through road signs dead ends are a recurrent theme in your life but it just means there's another route to get there you've got to figure it out for yourself you're going to spend a lot of time on your own traveling living and experiencing life solo so independence is key but that's okay alone doesn't equate to lonely remember that you'll be dumped on national tv by a man named after an animal by a sweet animal this wasn't an ideal situation but it will give you a damn good story and doesn't matter because daddy didn't raise a quitter he raised an independent winner and you also are gonna love a rhyme at the end of the day do you step away from the tweezers love hard work hard

talk hard and laugh hard even though your laugh is possibly the most questionable laugh to ever hit the airwaves p.s wear sunscreen love big brit i really like the addition of a bit of a little bit of baz lerman at the end there was it i thought i was i thought i'd trade my britney where where sunscreen oh no that was just because i just don't want to be a wrinkly old woman we've all learned those lessons that's the main takeaway from that we'll do laura's later in the show all new in 22 brit hockley and laura burn getting saucy for your saturday morning the life uncut radio show on kiss ladies i'm excited as you know it's mardi gras it is it is gay christmas it's the time to celebrate christmas it is it's a celebration baby i mean i think it's a bigger

celebration than christmas really amen i'm very sparkles there's yeah there's a lot more sparkles And for us, for people like us who celebrate gay Christmas, us, I am gay, the king of Mardi Gras, and if Mardi Gras is gay Christmas, then Santa Claus is Anthony Collier himself who joins us on the line. Welcome to the show, Anthony. Ho, ho, ho. Oh, how are we, kids? I was just about to say, I was just about to make the joke, Mitch.

You sort of beat me to it. Are there more ho, ho, ho's at Christmas or Mardi Gras? Oh, Brittany Hockley. Probably Christmas. Anthony, welcome to the radio show. It was so nice having you here. But also, we got to see you on our screens this week with Gogglebox. How was that for an experience?

That was definitely an experience. We, you know, it was either going to work for our relationship or we're going to end up in divorce because Tim and I have spent a lot of time on the couch together in the last two and a half years. And then when this came along, I was just like, really, do we really want to spend more time on the couch together and then throw ourselves on national TV? But you know what? We got through it and we didn't divorce.

So that was good. I just had to drink through it. So there was no fighting on the couch? There was a lot of fighting, to be honest. They just didn't show it all. He burped, he farted, he did everything. I'm glad that they only showed the nice parts. I mean, to be fair, Tim's just making himself quite comfortable in his own home.

He's got every right to burp and fart for as long as he wants to. It wasn't actually our home because we had to film it last week while we were in Queensland. So we had to film it in a holiday home. So our house is not beach boho, and that was very beach boho. I think that this is like, this is the smoke and mirrors of TV, right? Like I thought that part of like the voyeurism of celebrity. You thought everyone was rich that did hometowns and home visits and all these shows. I thought it was something like Celebrity Gogglebox.

Not only was I watching it because I wanted to obviously hear what you had to say about the TV shows, but it gives you a bit of a pervy insight into all the celebrities' houses. I'm not needing my holiday just to do a TV show. Absolutely not, especially after the two years we've all had. Well, Anthony, this is not the first time you've been on reality TV. You are a bit of an expert. You have done Australian Idol. You've done I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here,

Celebrity Apprentice, Gogglebox. You've done a lot. I have a bunch of questions, but before I get into them, I just want to say, what have you got to do to get on one of these shows? Because no one ever asked Laura and myself, but you seem to have been on every single one. You've got to be able to sing to get on Idol, Britt. I have no idea.

the thing is though I've never won any of them so I'm just I'm a reality tv show veteran loser that's what I am that's all right I didn't win the bachelor either what do you reckon out of all the experience you've had on reality tv now which do you reckon was the hardest show that you've done I'll probably say celebrity get me out of here but that's probably my favorite that I've done at the same time it was the hardest and I hated the first week and then something sort of just clicked in my head and I absolutely just went with it and it was actually the most fun six and a bit weeks of my life to be honest apart from Idol that's a completely different experience but yeah after Idol I'd say Celebrity Get Me Out of Here and you know to be able to walk away from

that show with some really like great friends and that I'm still friends with today so yeah it was a really good show I loved it. I mean that's actually really nice to hear because we do we have a laugh a lot at these shows but it's nice to come out of a friendship you know I got Laura out of the Bachelor franchise, not the same series, but out of all of these shows, which one, because, like, we often ask our guests this, but you've actually done them all, what did you get paid the most for?

Because Britt also wants to apply for that one. Like, hypothetically asking for a friend, if someone's going to do one of these shows, what pays the most? Don't do TV. TV doesn't pay. Don't do Radio Hour. No, I'm joking.

No, you know, I'm not going to sit here and complain. You know, I've been very lucky, but out of all of them, I'm a celebrity, get me out of here, take the most. You're also in there the longest, though, and you've got to sacrifice the most, and probably the food's not very good. You've got to eat a lot of questionable things. Shocking.

Like, I literally went in at 60 kilos. I tried to lose some weight before I went in there, and I came out at 54 kilos. Like, I was literally a happy version of Posh Spice. All right, well, let's go back to Mardi Gras. How do you celebrate Mardi Gras? What are you getting up to? Well, can I be honest?

I'm working my ass off all weekend. I've got four shows over the weekend, so I won't be able to celebrate Mardi Gras because these four shows were moved from last year. Everyone else is going to have to celebrate for me, unfortunately, because I'm working my little butt off. Well, it sounds like you have your own celebrations happening there. And if you have time, we'd love you to stick around with us

because we do another segment which is called Headline and Headlies. I can't lie! Headlies. So we bring you headlines that have been written about you that are either real or fake. You need to debunk them on the air for us. So some are real and some are fake. It's your job to differentiate the two.

You good to go? Okay, here we go. Now, Anthony, being that you are no stranger to reality TV, there are quite the number of headlines about you. I don't want it to move a millimetre. Smoother than a waxed apple skin at a non-organic farmer's market, Anthony Kalia speaks on his forehead following visit to cosmetic doctor. Anthony, is that true or fake?

Oh, no, the true part of that is that, yes, my forehead is full of Botox, but that is not a true headline. Same, don't worry about it. So you don't refer to it as the same as an organic farmer's market? Oh, God, no, I'm not putting anything organic in my body. In any capacity. All right, Anthony Kalia reveals the unique way he eats McDonald's chicken nuggets, and it involves sucking.

I don't know if that was a headline, but definitely the content is correct. Okay, well, can you explain to me how you suck a chicken nugget? Is it okay for a Saturday morning radio show? I don't know. No, you don't suck the chicken nugget. You suck the sauce out of the sachet and then you put the nugget in your mouth. Why don't you just put the sauce on the nugget? That just makes too much sense.

Because I don't want to, like, get sauce on my fingers. Right. So the sauce directly to the sauce, literally. It's directly into the mouth and then the nugget into the mouth as well. It's better straight in the mouth, isn't it? Oh, God, technical. Faces for TV. Anthony Kalea and Tim Campbell are unrecognisable

as they debut their hilarious lockdown look. You have a hilarious lockdown look? Yeah, we did get up to some antics in lockdown, so maybe it's true. It's actually true, yeah. So somebody thinks, someone thinks you look unrecognisable and hilarious, but I think that's funny because you thought you were just normal.

That's the funniest, but you were like, what am I talking about? Can I just say as well, I think that everybody who followed along social media during lockdown was thoroughly entertained by the updates, also thoroughly entertained by just, like, the nighttime drinking routine. I think there was a little bit of, like, cocktail making in there, a little bit of shakey-shake-shake. You know, thanks to Dan Murphy and the JobKeeper,

that was basically what was keeping us going. I'm just like, oh, another JobKeeper payment. OK, let's go to Dan Murphy's. Uncle Dan. Times are tough for these reality TV stars. Golden, golden. And you can see Anthony on stage. The Together Again Tour returns live in 2022. We'll go out and see him live.

He's brilliant. We'll see you soon on the stage. And good luck. Have fun. Mardi Gras, Anthony. Enjoy. Thanks, guys. Good luck this weekend.

See you, buddies. This is the Life Uncut Radio Show. Britt Hockley and Laura Byrne. Bonkies. Britt, we did talk about something that happened last week with your dog, Delilah. Britt, Dr. Delilah. Britt, Dr. Delilah. We don't know Britt's got a beautiful...

What breed is she? What kind of dog is Delilah? I have a beautiful Australian Shepherd, Delilah. The sweetest, sweetest, most aesthetically pleasing, beautiful little puppy. She has a great personality. I cannot fault her. Except for one thing. Okay, I'm going to throw Delilah under a bus.

Not literally. I love her. Please don't throw your dog under a bus. Not on national radio. If she was a human. Why did the Life Uncut show get canned? Well, Brittany threw her dog under a bus. I would never.

I am obsessed with her. Last week, if you were listening to the show, I spoke about something that my dog did. She escaped through a little hole in my new house. I didn't know it was there. She got out. Somebody called me at 10.30 at night and they said, I found your dog. She's got something in her mouth.

I can't see what it is. This is my location. Do you want to come get her? I panicked. I was like, God, I can't believe she was even out. So in the nighttime, I live in like, I miss making it sound funny, I live in a dark alley. So there were no lights.

So I met this girl in the dark alley and we exchanged product, the dog, and I was walking by her neck collar, like I was just leading her back into the house and I could see this thing in her mouth. We get inside and I turn the light on and it is, very unfortunately and to my shock, a giant possum. She brought a giant possum home. We think it was already dead. We don't think she went out and hunted a possum before the DMs start flaring. Delilah would never.

Delilah is a perfect dog. She just found it, I think. Do you know what, though? After this conversation, we had so many people slide into the DMs with so many messed up things that their animal, their love, the love of their life, their other child had brought home. And it was pretty cooked. so we decided that we would get a few of them to come on to the show. 131065 is the number.

Adrian is on the air. What did you find in your dog's mouth? So I actually found a used tampon in my dog's mouth. The dog found it out of the bin or something, did it? Well, I hope that's where I've got it, Laura. It was definitely in the bin. I had toilet paper and stuff around it. He managed to remove all of that.

comes running out with a used tampon in his mouth, I am absolutely mortified. She's going to sound upset. She sounds so sad. She's got PTSD, as do I now. Adrienne, were there people there when she brought this used tampon out or was it just you? No, there were actually a few guests, including my time,

my future in-laws. Is that why they were a future? Is that why they're exes? Oh, wow. Wow. And it was actually the first time we've ever invited them over. Oh, it gets worse and worse. It was the first time I really actually met them, to be honest.

They'd come from interstate. Oh, dear. The dog was really in the doghouse after that one. Oh, Adrian. And that dog is now up for adoption. All right, let's go to Holly on 131065. Hello, Holly. What did you find in your dog's mouth?

I didn't find it in his mouth, but I found a pink ear bug in his poo. Oh, right. It's been in his mouth and all the way out the other end. Do you mean like an AirPod? Yeah, right at the end, and I was like, what is that? Like a wireless one, or was the whole wire attached? Did he do the whole thing? It was like an earplug.

Like, do you sleep at night time with them, like earplugs? Yeah, I sleep with earplugs because my partner snores. I thought you meant like an AirPod, because do you know what? My AirPods are missing, and I bet you Delilah's done those as well. You're going to have to start going through a poo. That's what you've got to do. We'll get you some gloves, and you can start sieving through it. It's a no from me.

I'll just buy you one. And we've got Casey on 131065. Wrap this up for us. What's the weirdest thing you've found in your dog's mouth? Hey, so I was actually sitting, having a few drinks with some girlfriends, and my dog ran out of the bathroom, and he had a condom in his mouth. Nothing good ever comes out of the bathroom. A used condom out of the bin.

Yeah. Well, at least you were there with girlfriends, and you could all have a laugh about it, right? And at least you're getting lucky. At least you weren't there with a new date. Yeah, that would have been so embarrassing. And at least you knew where it had come from. Imagine if you hadn't had sex in a while and you went,

how did I get a huge condom? And also, at least you're being safe. See, there's a lot of Elise here, okay? I think that this isn't as bad as it could have been. Yeah, we all had a laugh, but, yeah, if it was another guy, I think it would have been a much different situation. I would have loved this story if you were on a date. The cherry on top.

Thank you, Kase. All new in 22. The Life Uncut Radio Show With Britt Hockley and Laura Byrne It's a big second half of the Life Uncut Radio Show Right around Australia We've got Brittany Hockley We've got Laura Byrne

Ladies, tell us what's coming up on the show this hour We have Vanessa Amorosi joining us very soon And that is because tonight is Mardi Gras And Vanessa Amorosi is headlining Mardi Gras tonight Also, Vanessa Amorosi got me through a lot of my I mean, tumultuous moments as a teenager I had Absolutely Everybody and Repeat a lot in my car. I feel like she was like everybody's, or not everybody's.

Well, there's the pun right there. I feel like she was so many people's like defining moment of their youth. Like those songs really kind of, they got you through a hard time, didn't they? They did. But International Women's Day is also coming up on Tuesday the 8th. So we decided to write letters to our younger selves. Yes. And Britt has already shared her letter and she spoke about her very thin eyebrows and wearing sunscreen.

and I feel like my letter, I don't know if I followed the brief. I think I got a bit, I'm going to get a bit too emotional with this one. No, Laura said she got really deep and there are going to be some tears and I thought, well, I definitely didn't hit the brief because I literally just spoke about my eyebrows, but that is coming up. Well, we wanted to write this in order to, you know, like look back on our past and if we could sort of give ourselves a little bit of advice and give ourselves some direction so that we didn't make the mistakes

that we certainly went on to make in our lives, what would that be? But in sadder news, guys, Australia and the world overnight woke up to some really, really tragic news. And that is an Australian legend, Shane Warne, passed away overnight. It's unbelievable. It's unbelievable. He's only 52 years old. He is, well, the world looks at him as the greatest bowler of all time. And I just don't know anyone that doesn't know who Shane Warne is. It is just such an incredibly sad day, not only for Australians, but for the whole of the cricket world.

like and I think everyone who saw that this morning I know I was laying in bed and I saw it pop up in my social media feed and I just couldn't believe it I couldn't believe it you don't you almost had to read I had to like I saw the first news article and I had to look up other articles because I thought surely this is one of those things that someone has just it's fake news because you just think I guess we just think people don't ever actually pass on legends don't actually pass on but it's absolutely tragic and our love and our thoughts are with Simone and his children and his family and all of his loved ones and to pay our respects we do have a tribute to this Australian icon. Australia has lost a legend. The man regarded as the greatest

spin bowler of all time Shane Warne has died at the age of just 52. He was regarded as one of the finest cricketers in history, claiming 708 test wickets between 1992 and 2007. It was my domain, it was my spot, I owned it. Right in my core You know, I'm pretty proud of my cricketing career. You know, I don't pretend to be the perfect person. I've got lots of faults.

I've got lots of things I ain't good at, which annoys me. I hear the silence now From wall to wall I like loud music. I was smoked, I drank. And I bowled a bit of leg spin, you know. That was sort of me. I don't have any regrets.

Rest in peace, Mourny. No, part of the show we were like, look, if we can look back on our lives and give ourself as a 14-year-old or a 15-year-old, 16-year-old, I don't think we really put an age to it, but if we can give ourselves some advice, what would that be? Yeah, to sum mine up, it was step away from the tweezers, don't dye hair blonde. There was some deep stuff in there.

And wear sunscreen. And wear sunscreen. Okay, I feel like mine, I got a bit sentimental, and now I'm, like, worried if I didn't match the brief. Okay. I remember sitting in my math class when I was eight years old, and one of the cool girls turned around and said to me, shut up no one cares what you have to say i wish i i told you i'm gonna cry i wish i could go back

and tell my 14 year old self to stop caring and trying to make everybody like you you allow because they're a little bit clumsy there will always be people in life who you are too much for and that is okay right now you're trying to bend yourself to be the version that you think everyone around you will like isn't it so pathetic um but by doing this you don't really know who you want to be and the reality is nobody at 14 knows who they want to be everybody is just as awkward as you are and if they're not trust me they have peaked way too early all the heartbreak and the failures in your life will build resilience i don't want you to skip those life milestones but one lesson i wish you could skip is that i wish this one will make me cry i wish that you believed in your 20s that

you were lovable and worthy to be treated with kindness and respect in your relationships don't lower your standards i definitely missed the break don't lower your standards to hold on to men or relationships that make you feel worthless because you're scared of being alone i don't need i just feel like i need to go rewrite mine i think i need to give you a hug i'm also really hormonal guys it's also that time of the month me too but i just still said it was a tweezer thing no but i think you know your 20s and your teens it's such awkward years everyone goes through it it's such a uncomfortable time and then you get into your 30s and you're like oh why did i worry so much like it's important to learn the lessons but sometimes you just wish

you could look back and didn't have to go through it to get to where you are now i think the biggest lesson in and like i just resonated with so much you said there but i just thought i'd try and bring the lols i don't know you're like why didn't you wear more sunscreen no but i think the lesson that I think most women and I felt exactly the same and I think there's probably not a woman out there listening right now that hasn't felt this and that is at some point in your life you feel like you are not enough and you're not worthy of love and whether that's because someone's broken your heart or walked all over you or done the right thing there's always this question and I've done it many times I'm doing it at the moment I do it right now I've just recently gone through

a really bad breakup but there's always this what's wrong with me what why aren't I enough for anyone why can't I find love why can't I find a happy ending there's always these questions we ask ourselves. But at the end of the day, that is the complete wrong way to look at it. It's all about perspective. You just have to learn to say to yourself, that wasn't my path. That wasn't meant for me. And I have to have faith that this is putting me on the path I'm supposed to be on. Absolutely. And I think in terms of relationships, which is like, I mean, relationships are the cornerstone of like what brings meaning to our lives. Of course, like we can talk about careers. I think International Women's Day largely is based

around careers and career achievements. But I think like we sometimes overlook personal achievements and i think from like a relationship perspective it's so easy to lower your standards because you want to be in a relationship instead of being like do you know what the right thing will come to me if i just have a little bit more self-worth instead i think sometimes we lower them down so far that we just accept not not very nice ways of being treated we accept what's less than what we deserve because we just want to be loved and totally and i know what i deserve but also So, someone love me. International Women's Day, ladies and gentlemen.

Hashtag someone love me. Peace out. Nice note to end on. All new. In 22. Britt Hockley and Laura Byrne getting saucy for your Saturday morning. The Life Uncut Radio Show. On Kiss.

Right now. We thought, you know what's Mardi Gras? Let's celebrate with one of the biggest queens of all time, the gay icons, Taylor Swift. We love Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift. I'm a bit of a Closet Tay-Tay fan. Really? I'm not Closet.

I am out. I have been to three concerts. I love the girl. Well, she's one of the greatest lyricists of our time. Some would say a poet, and many of her songs can sort of mirror very great poetry. She's a great lyric writer. I think you'll find Kanye West would object to that.

I think you're right, yes. I feel like they've got a bit of unresolved beef, though, so it's fine. Well, it's pretty resolved. Publicly. Well, the person that can't hold a flame to Taylor Swift is, of course, Mr William Shakespeare, one of the greatest poets and writers of our time.

That's exactly what you'd expect to hear on radio on a Saturday morning, isn't it? William Shakespeare, everyone. Stay tuned, coming up next. We're playing Swift or Shakespeare. It's a little game we've created. What I've got is some Taylor Swift lyrics or William Shakespeare text, and it's your job to decide which is which.

Is it Swift or is it Shakespeare? I'm thinking that because Britt and I both really like Taylor Swift, I reckon we might do okay with this. Oh, no, I'm actually really bad with lyrics, right? Let's jump in with the first one. I'm going to start with you, Britt, okay? So we'll go one for one. Britt, these are the lyrics.

Ready? I'll be summer sun for you forever. Can you just give me that in a singing voice, please? Or in a Shakespeare voice. It's one or the other. You sing it or Shakespeare it. I'll be summer sun for you forever. I'm going Spearzy.

William. Bill. Bill Spearzy. Okay, you're all close, Brent. No, it's not. It's Taylor Swift. It's from Forever Winter. It should be fair.

Some of these sound hard. That is a hard one. As if that wasn't a Shakespeare sort of sentence. Well done, Taylor. This is for you, Laura. Okay. This is the very ecstasy of love. Oh, it is Shakespeare.

That's correct. Laura, it's from Hamlet. Thank you. I don't think Taylor would say ecstasy. That was also a guess. A very good guess. Children, all right, back to you, Britt. What about this?

Oh, I can really make a meal of this. My crown. My own ambition. My queen. Oh, stop. Mitch Turing, what are you doing? Shakespeare or is it? R.I.P.

That has to, I mean, like, that has to be Shakespeare. Yeah, she's got Shakespeare. It's also from Hamlet. Did you only have one play off? All right, let's go to you. All right, we're even now. What about this? This has got some emotion in it.

My castle crumbled overnight. Swift. You think it's Swift? You're right. It's Taylor Swift. It feels good to be a winner. My castle crumbled overnight. Yeah.

I brought a knife to a gunfight. Also very Shakespearean again. although no guns in that time so that would have been that would have been the gift alright back to Britt let's go what about this

speak low if you speak love speak low if you speak love it's Bill yes you're correct yes

it is in fact William Shakespeare alright bring it home even just twin fire signs four blue eyes just twin fire signs four blue eyes

oh god I don't know I like this from Harry Potter not Shakespeare. Yeah, I truly can't take you seriously when you talk like that. After this segment, you're banned. I'm going to go with Shakespeare. Incorrect.

That's Taylor Swift. All righty. Are we going to a tiebreaker? That was hard. That was tough. This is a tiebreaker. This is for the win. So you're going to have to use your voices, as Shakespeare would say.

Use your mother tongue and buzz in using your names. For the win, whether, whether, be the frost or the violence. Brittany. Of the Shakespeare. What do you reckon? Oh, do you know what? Just because you're in Shakespeare, I'll go Swift so we can have a winner. You're locking in Swift?

Well, I've got no choice. Even though I buzzed in. She's done it! It's Taylor Swift! It's from Evermore. Congratulations, Brittany's won. That actually goes to show you how hard that is. I think she's taken a lot of inspiration from our friend William Shakespeare.

I still ask the question. What has she been through in her life, in her early, late teens, early 20s, that makes that she's so tormented? She was the most famous person in the world. She went through every breakup publicly. She's had a rough trot taste with. I'm pretty sure Shakespeare was only like 20 as well. Didn't they all die young back then too?

You got malaria and dead by 30. They all got poison or something. Had a rougher trot. This is the Life Uncut radio show. Britt Hockley and Laura Byrne. On Kiss. Right now we're doing this. Ask Uncut.

Tell me what you want, what you really, really want. Ask Uncut is our, it's what we do on a Thursday. on the podcast and it is where we answer some of our listener queries and questions all of your deep dark and burning questions and today's question comes in from jess nearly a month ago i misplaced my engagement ring on the last day of our holiday i searched that airbnb for hours and then i thought i must have just packed it and i would find it when i get home no this is a custom designed platinum ring. My partner also bought the matching curved wedding band that fits perfect when we get married. The ring is not covered on our home contents insurance. We did have travel

insurance so I called the company to try and claim it but because I didn't report it to the police that I thought it was stolen they told me it's not covered. My fiance has been asking me for weeks now why I'm not wearing the ring. And I've made every excuse under the sun. It's got to the point that I need to either come clean and admit that I lost it, or I think it's gotten stolen and cop his disappointment, take out a loan and buy a replacement because he's going to notice if more than $10,000 went missing from our bank account. Or do I buy a fake crystal ring, keep it secret for the rest of my life and just hope to God it matches the wedding band when we get married.

No. He's going to know. Like if the guy went to the effort of designing a custom engagement ring, no, like, you know, Michael Hill Jewelers is going to cover that. He's going to know. There's a fourth option there you didn't mention, Jess. You could move to Alaska. It sounds like the easy way now.

The problem, my mouth was open that whole time because you don't really have an option if, and like I'm going to be do the good thing and i'm gonna say i think you just need to admit defeat and probably explain what's happened because there's no insurance that can cover it if you could have gotten away with designing it again so he didn't know maybe you could have done that but he has created the band to perfectly fit the ring so i don't even feel like you can fake it till you make it i do you know what though and get losing an engagement ring i lost my i wouldn't know i haven't made it that far i lost mine for one day and i felt so stupid but i was hysterical and i told matt and matt

took it really well because I clearly wasn't taking it well so it made no like he wasn't going to be angry at me because I was already as sad as I could possibly be but there's just so much so much sentimental meaning loaded into that and also just dollar value and so much money but like it just has it holds such a great weight I think and so like just dealing with the loss of it in the first place not just the fear of having to tell your partner but the just the sadness that comes with losing a ring oh it's not like anything else I don't I genuinely I feel so sorry for you I mean, A, be grateful you're engaged. Not all of us are in love and engaged.

But two, I think that you just need to tell him. I think, I mean, I'm always going to preach communication. You don't have an option here. Like, there's only so long you can say it's being cleaned while you look for it. Do you think it's better, though, to say that it was lost or stolen? I kind of think stolen is better because you're going to be like, oh, it was out of my control.

Some evil person came in and took it. Yeah, except then what if he's like, well, let's go make some formal police reports about break and enter, unless you've said I've taken it off and put it on a sink in a public bathroom and someone nicked it. I think that that's going to get you into trouble. I reckon you've got to admit defeat. Chop your finger off. That's it.

That is the answer. That's it. It just hit me and I thought, I'm a genius. That's the answer. That'll just teach you. Maybe just don't get engaged. There'll be a number of times where people lose their wedding rings down a drain or just like, it happens.

You know, you're not the first person. You won't be the last. It's as devastating as it is. I can only imagine. Just tell him. Share it. Then you'll get over it. And you're stuck with him for life.

Or maybe not after this. If you've got an ask uncut, you want advice from Brittany or Laura, hit us up, Life Uncut podcast on instagram all new in 22 your saturday morning the last radio show with brit hockley and laura burn on kiss this morning is not like any other it is mardi gras morning ladies it is the night of gay christmas it is the night of all nights it is such a celebration and i'm so excited because we have vanessa amarossi with us she's headlining tonight at mardi gras at the scg in sydney she is hello vanessa thanks for being here hello hello how are you guys we are great vanessa I'm going to kick start. Just before you phoned in, we were having a little chat about you and I

told the guys that I was going to play it cool when you got on the phone, but I'm a huge fan. You really did lift me up as a teenager. I think I was about 13 when absolutely everybody came out and I fangirled you hard. I feel like you got me through a lot of moments, a lot of replays in the car, a lot of breakups. So just want to start by saying thank you and I am totally uncool. And how is that for an intro? Thank you. I appreciate that. That's a nice start. What has today been like for you? So getting ready for tonight, for Mardi Gras,

what was your very first Mardi Gras that you ever went to? Oh, I can't even remember. It's always a massive celebration party, and that's probably why I can't remember. But, you know, the excitement is in the air, and everybody is ready to go. So it's going to be a wonderful night. Well, tell us a little bit about what is in store for tonight's performance.

I can't. Guys, you better be there. That's the whole thing. You'll have to watch and see, but it's going to be over the top. That's for sure. The gays love suspense. She's doing the right thing. That's very smart.

I'm not gay, though. I'm excited. I don't deal with suspense very well. But also, what is your connection to Mardi Gras? Obviously, absolutely everybody, this song was very ahead of its times. It's an incredibly inclusive song. But did you have more of a personal connection to it? I think so.

So, I mean, as a youngster, I mean, I probably shouldn't be saying this, but my uncle used to take me to drag shows all the time. Amazing. Like underage? Of course, yeah. I mean, that's what you do when you're a kid and you're also working at a Russian club singing top 40. I've lived a very obscure life that no one knows about.

I didn't know that. But, yeah, I always went to drag shows and I love it and I love the art of it. And so, yeah, it's always been something that I've gravitated to and I love doing performances like this. I do have a question for you. So you played at the 2000 Olympics, absolutely everybody. It was huge.

The Olympics are coming back in 2032. So what are the odds that 32 years later we will see you back at the Olympics singing that song, Coming Full Circle? You know what? It would most probably be, if I was to do that, I would probably do Heroes Live Forever, which was the opening of the Olympics. Perfect. There's something about that song, and I've kept it in my back pocket.

Like, I tend to not perform it and keep it just that moment where whenever I hear it, it brings me back to that exact moment of the Olympics. So I don't know. I would probably want to do that one. Well, hopefully, if the Olympic committee are listening, then in 2032 we will see you coming up there limping, grooming with grey hair.

Vanessa, in the meantime, the best of luck tonight. We cannot wait to see it. Everybody, it is the SCG tonight. Mardi Gras is on, and what a celebration it's going to be. Go get glittered up, Vanessa. Go away. Thank you so much. Thank you so much, Vanessa.

Vanessa's new album, City of Angels, is out March 18. It's available everywhere for pre-order now. We'll talk to you soon, okay? What a legend. She's great. Isn't she awesome? She's amazing. What a wonderful woman.

For as big as a celebrity that Vanessa Amorosi is, you've got an even bigger one on the podcast this week. We have a very special podcast coming out on Tuesday's episode. It's one that we- I had to think. I was like, who's on the pod next week? It took us a really long time to get this guest on. It's been so much work with his management back and forth

and schedules and just, you know, because he's a really high-in-demand person. We have Mitch Turi on the podcast! That's me for everyone going, who the hell is that? We decided, you know what, we get to come here every Saturday. We had these awesome chats. We hang out, we've become the best of friends and we thought it was about time to share Mitch

and a little bit more of his story with all of our podcast audience and also, you know, coming off the back of Mardi Gras, Mitch just shares a little bit more about who he is and the time he came out of the closet. Do you want to know what shook me to the core with this record? What? I mean, you were pretty hard to get, but it really shook me with the demands.

The Brittany, I have to have an almond croissant, a plain croissant, a soy cappuccino, double shot. Oat milk? Yeah, oat milk. Like there were a lot of high demands. And it was all there. Yep, you wanted water from Iceland. He did ask me to pick out all of the green Skittles from a pack

and give him a bowl, but I said I couldn't. I couldn't go that far. Make Reba Wilson look like the easiest interview you ever had. I had so much fun. It was a really good chat, and I can't wait for people to hear it. Tuesday, iHeartRadio, wherever you get your podcasts. Otherwise, we will be back next week, everyone. Next Saturday.

I love doing this show with you guys. It's been an absolute blast. So nice talking to Anthony Clare. So nice having Vanessa Amorosi on. We'll be back next week. Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends to share the love, because we love love! Happy Mardi Gras!

Miss any of the Life on Cart radio show with Britt Hockley and Laura Baird? Hear it in the Catch Up podcast on iHeartRadio.