Life Uncut - LIFE UNCUT RADIO SHOW - Jan 15th

Episode Date: January 17, 2022

Happy Saturday Lifers and welcome to OUR FIRST RADIO SHOW!!!Can you believe they were willing to trust us to not say something outrageous or speak about our intimate bodily functions on the radio waves? No? Us either! But they did!!Here is a smooshed together version of our radio show for you to get your ears around. We kick it off with a revelation of Britt's that would have had her snag a boyfie much sooner, before jumping into what made you think that your friend was cashed up.You guys know that there are some weird, wild and whacky stories published about Britt and Laura, so we turned it into a segment called Headlies where they have to break down the truth, or lack there of, behind the headline.Laura is in the dog house with Matty J and wants to know whether it's reasonable that she's in trouble or not!And we end the show with an ask uncut about whether it's okay to be naked around your dog!We hope you love it!If you've got an ask uncut for our radio show, slide into the DMs with a voice memo @lifeuncutpodcast on instagram!Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your friend, tell your dog and share the love because well, we love love!!xxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut, and this is not really an episode. You have to stop saying that, you always say it. It's our Saturday radio show. It's the Brittany Hockley and Laura Byrne Life Uncut radio show. I don't even think I said that right, but that's what it is. It's, look, long story short, this is an episode, but it is something a little different. You guys know we started radio. We had our own national radio show.

We're as shocked as you guys are, but we're super excited about it. And we're going to be dropping the episodes into the feed so that you can access them if you do miss it on a Saturday. So here it is. But our first show was a really, really great show. It was a biggie. Yeah. And also, I mean, it's a bit different because you guys obviously know we get to sit down

for so long when we do our Tuesdays and our Thursday episodes, but we really wanted to have a little home for the radio segments. But obviously, it's just us in a very different environment. We also have Mitch Turi, who's on it with us. I love him. He's so good. We love Mitch. We absolutely love Mitch.

Am I allowed to talk on the podcast? Yeah, talk. Mitch, hey, everyone, this is Mitch. Let's introduce him. Mitch Turi. He's got a really small mouth and a big head. We love him. Come on.

He's not that small. He's not that small. Mitch, why don't you give us a wrap-up of who you are in 20 seconds? Can you do that? Hi, everyone. Mitch Turi. I don't lead with a small mouth normally, but I do have a small one. We only discovered that today.

Big hair, big heart, small mouth. I'm a radio announcer and, you know, I'm good friends with the girls and I'm technically your anchor. That's what my role is. I keep you guys going. Mitch literally steers the ship and basically he's the reason why we're hopefully not going to get cancelled. You won't get cancelled.

I love working with you guys. Yeah, and he also tells Britt not to swear from time to time. Well, I mean, he attempts to keep me in line. You know what? I actually feel for you. There's no one else, Mitch, that I'd rather do the show with, but I do feel for you because you're getting a real insider look into what actually goes down between Laura and myself.

Oh, my God, yeah. The listeners get life uncut. I get uncut, life uncut. Oh, that is so good. You get uncut, life uncut. Uncut, life uncut. I'm going to do a spin-off podcast. This is exactly what it is.

Selling our secrets. Please don't do that. We have a year contract here, so you can't do that for another year. But, no, we're so stoked to have you, and you'll be hearing Mitch throughout. So that is his voice. i i actually can't speak highly enough about mitch so thank you and welcome to the team we have a killer episode for you coming up now i you guys know i was single for a very long time this is a new year and i did have a new revelation about the dating world i'm going to share that

with you and laura you actually had a bit of a fight with maddie j but i don't know if it's i don't know if it was right or wrong i don't know if it should actually be happening i want to know whether or not i'm actually in the wrong with this and whether i am supposed to be apologizing for something that i'm in the doghouse for but you guys you can all weigh in on this as well i would love to hear what everyone's opinion is on this actually because i think it would be a bit of a divide but we also have an interesting chat about something that is trending on twitter and that is how did you know your friends were rich growing up what did they have in their house that said hey look how bougie i am we also have a segment on the radio show which we're doing which

is called headline or headlines and you guys know how many outrageous articles are written about us every week and I mean a lot of them are true but some of some are outrageous sometimes they tell you a little bit of truth and pepper it with a whole lot of uh inflated misinformation but this is us debunking some of the biggest headline or headlines which we're doing on the show so let's get into the episode the life uncut radio show with Britt Hockley and Laura Byrne one kiss Britt you just got a dog I did I feel like is that a congratulations I got a dog it's been a long time coming 10 years or so I've wanted this dog but I've had a really big revelation since I've had the dog now I've only had the dog for a week

right so it's just happened pretty quickly it's happened pretty recently but it happened to me this morning it happened to me last night happened to me yesterday morning the dog keeps on happening to you the dog is happening did you realize it lives with you right it's just always there she wakes up she's like it's still here it's still here I still have to do something with it no look i've had this revelation i had been single the best part of 10 years like that is not a secret if you're new to the show i had a rough trot there for a while right but i finally figured out the secret to dating and locking in a man you just have to get a dog oh i have i have struggled to get dates in organically in the real world in the wild for a long time and i think that's a

generational thing i had to always get my dates on reality shows and on dating apps i got a dog I have been picked up I cannot tell you how many times Jordan if you are listening there's my boyfriend just tune out from now because I'm not going to tell you I've been asked out picked up I've swapped numbers that I thought I was swapping a number because he wanted to know about the dog in the last three days more times than I did in 10 years and it's all because of my dog wait you actually gave a guy on the street your number and you thought it was about the dog no it was actually a girl okay and she was trying to pick you up or you're just making friends as well yeah I'm making friends.

I'm getting dates. Sorry, I'm not getting dates. But people are asking me out. And I'm like, this is my secret. All I had to do all this time was get a dog. But my question is, because I've had this idea now, could I maybe pimp my dog out to friends in need? So some of my single friends, because I was like, this is,

I'm on to something big. Like a cute dog for hire. Oh, yeah. Cameo, cameo. What is cameo? I'm going to pimp out my dog. Her name's Delilah. She's beautiful.

She's got blue eyes. I can give it to producer Keisha. i can give it to all my single friends and help them pick up if my question to you is if i do that a morally is that okay b for my single friends that are taking the dog to find a date do they have to admit it's not their dog no they have to pretend like it's their dog or do you have to commit because then what if you start to date somebody seriously and they come over to your house like where's your dog you're like oh i left it down the beach it died and now i'm really upset and so now i need someone to cut me on the couch yes oh my god it's genius it's it's the perfect

But do you know what works even better? I mean, I have a three-legged dog, and when your dog's a bit maimed, people stop you every second of the day because they're like, oh, you're a hero. Are you suggesting to maim Delilah? And why did you never go? Where are you going? How horrific.

I meant pimp out my three-legged dog as well. We can make a fortune. Bro, I've known you for years. You have never let me take Buster for it to pick up a date. Otherwise, this could have ended a long time ago. Oh, I felt sorry for Buster, just being there, the third wheel constantly. Okay, well, I'm going to create.

I think there's something in it, yeah. I'm going to create a profile for Delilah and anyone that might need to borrow her. I'm going to set a price. $355. For a day? I think we can also. Is love worth it? That's the question.

Can we open this out to everyone, though? If you're in a happy relationship and you've got a dog and you want to rent your dog out for a few hours, hit up Brittany. She'll start doing it on the rec. Yeah, $300 if you've got a normal dog and $1,000 if it's maimed. There's a premium on the maimed pups. There's a tax. A maimed tax.

Good idea, Brittany. You're a hero. All new in 22. For your Saturday morning, the last uncut radio show with Britt Hockley and Laura Byrne. On Kiss. Laura, you found something on Twitter. You want to bring it to our attention? I did, and I want to know your opinion on this.

And I also want to know, when was it that you experienced this in your childhood? So there's something that's been trending on Twitter, and it is different types of things that we might own that would, if you see it at your friend's house or somebody that you know, would make you think, oh, they're a rich person. That's it. They're rich. So I've got a couple of things here that are listed. Like a wine cellar, right?

yeah but i feel like that that's something if someone's got a wine cellar you're like oh yeah you're rich but what if they have asop soap in their bathrooms you know okay i've got a few other ones to be listed here they are some rich people things as you might say a fridge that also has a water and ice dispenser that's a big one double doors on a fridge people who own brand names of things i feel like this is a bit of an obscure one like glad wrap not buying the home brand but buying the full brand of any item no there's there is a thing in glad wrap if anyone that i knew if i went to a house and i was like hey do you have any glad wrap because you do that a lot as a child if i went to someone's house wait what are you glad wrapping as a child that

was the joke is if you ever do that guys bear with me oh if i went to a house and someone had glad wrap that actually had the teeth on it to rip it off oh yeah you know there's different so there's teeth that's fancy no the fancy one is when you had the little knife thing that ran along and cut it so if you only had the teeth you know you were constantly ripping the glad wrap it didn't rip evenly you were fancy and rich if you had the cutter on the glad wrap what about if you have a touch screen in the dashboard of your car or cutlery and glassware that are all the same stylistically in your house now this mish mash okay bill gates yeah no do you know what it was for me i had i mean this is probably the biggest example but i had a friend that had

a pool house like a little house next to the pool i didn't even have a pool i had a blow-up pool but I just thought you guys must be so, so loaded. I feel like your benchmark is a bit too high. Mine was like if you went to someone's house, if they had a pool table in their house, like that's a rich person to have a pool table. Yeah, Britt went from Gladwrap to pool houses. That's such a big jump.

But you know what? Okay, I've actually got a few things I want to rattle off. If somebody had a double-headed shower. Oh, rain head, rain head shower. Or what about the little food processor thing in the sink? What's that called again where you put your food down it? A gurgler, yeah, I know what you mean. Yeah, that, if you could put your food not in the bin

but down the sink, you were next level. I remember going to a friend's house when I was only in primary school and they had lions at the front. They had gargoyles at the front of their house. And I was like, I don't know, if you have a gargoyle, you are rich. No, you are questionable if you have a gargoyle. I don't know if you're rich. You may also be Italian.

There was a lot of people in Wollongong who had gargoyles at the front of their house. Or a double-doored fridge. Or like when I finally got a DVD player and I didn't have to take the VCR out and wind it back when you had to record it with your finger. Again, very niche. That just makes us look old more than anything. I'm a bit triggered, guys.

I am a little bit triggered. All right, let's go to Kat. Hello, Kat. What's yours on 131065? What do you have in your house that's real bougie? Hey, guys. I definitely, when we were younger, noticed that the people that were rich of my friends

were the ones whose parents had seven-seater cars, like you could put everyone in the car at once. Look, my family had a seven-seater car, but I'm going to tell you, we were not rich and there was not a lot of leg room. My poor sister and I, we were like tiny little crabs curled up in the back of the boot with the luggage all around us. So I don't know about this whole seven-seater thing. Maybe it also depends on how many kids you've got too.

I mean, if you're one of five and your family's driving around in a seven-seater, it's okay. But if the kid's just got a bit of leg room in the back there and they've only got one kid, then maybe that's an indication that your friend's bougie. I'm lucky I wasn't strapped to the roof rack, to be honest. You know what is bougie? The DVD player in the back of the headrest.

How do they even wire those things? Or when you see little kids in the back of the car these days and they've all got iPads. Oh, yeah. Individual ones. Bougie. All right, thank you, Kat. Let's go to Miles on 131065.

G'day, Miles. What's your bougie item? For me, it was always, like, we weren't that bloody rich, so we just taped movies and TV off the TV. But, like, you'd go to someone's house and they had, like, bought videos and that sort of thing. Like as in, you mean a bought DVD when you used to go to Bali? I say used to, I never went to Bali as a child,

but you know all your friends went to Bali and they would come back with like packs of 30 DVDs of all the hottest movies of the time. Wait, as in they were ripping them? Just legit ones, I mean. They went to Kmart and bought the DVD. They bought a movie. Right, so they didn't even rip them off Bali streets.

They were legitimately bought from the shop. Yeah, not taped off the TV with the ad still in them. So fancy. I'm not even sure if like the ripping and going to Bali and getting a whole family album for them is actually the bougie version. The holiday to Bali is, but it's like the poor man's thing to go and go, okay, I'm going to buy 300 DVDs for $10. Yeah, but if you've made it to Bali to buy those cheap DVDs,

you are killing it. All right, thank you, Miles. Let's do Trent on 131065. Hello, Trent, mate. Finish it up for us. What's your bougie item, your rich piece? uh for me as a kid it was um my mates who had the nintendo 64 yeah oh mario kart rainbow road mario party was the main one yeah what did you have at home i had books

you're like i had one of those glass jars that used to put ants and snails in cute though like you know that's good no any anyone that had any sort of video games was definitely feeling extra as well. Like we had one Nintendo 64. I remember when we got it, but we could only, there's four kids, but we only had two remotes. So we had to be on a timeframe. We had like 10 minutes each

and we had to pass it on to the next kid. We had the same, it was called a Playboy. What's it? No, that's a game boy. My stepdad had those next to the tour too, but it was a game boy. Hang on, you're on the Saturday show, Laura, not the night show.

We had one game boy in our house of three kids and we all had a one hour little time duration and then we'd have to go. One hour is a long time to spend playing a game. To play a game, yeah, yeah. Oh, I was 15 minutes and I was outside to play. That was it. Out to the pool house.

Sounds like a very fulfilling childhood with lots of books. Do you know what it was for us, though? Recently we went to Rebel Wilson's house to record. And, Laura, I know you have something that you thought, wow, this is how I know you've made it. Yeah, so when we walked into Rebel's house, and obviously it was ridiculous. Palatial.

It was ridiculous, bougie. Every aspect of the inside of it you were like, oh, this person's rich. but it wasn't that it was when she said do you want a water and i said yes and she said do you want sparkling or still and i was like oh what still but came over with the option of both of them in individual bottles in her own home do you want to know what it was for me it was the elevator all new in 22 for your saturday morning the last uncut radio show Britt Hockley and Laura Byrne.

On Kiss. In the meantime. I can't lie. Head lies. All right, ladies, a lot of articles written about the two of you. Every day, would you say, there's an article or weekly? No, it's not every day. But there's a lot of articles that get written,

and I'd say some of them are very correct and some of them are a little bit embellished. Look, I don't Google them, but I get sent a lot of questionable articles saying, is this true? Did this actually happen? And I'm usually like, no. But when it's Laura, it's generally true.

Obviously, yes. I don't think you don't Google them. You're trying to tell me you never Google yourself. Everyone Googles themselves. I am not a Googler. I do not Google myself. Do you have Google Alerts set up for your name? Absolutely not.

That's a whole other level of strange. I don't want to know what's going on out there about me. See, I do. That's my job. I troll Daily Mail and I troll news.com.au and I find headlines. Now, some can be real headlines or they could be fake headlines. I'm going to read them out to you and you tell me whether or not it's a headline or a headline. You ready?

Look, it's probably true. Bring it. Let's go. Jump in. All right. Article one. Lovesick. Brittany Hockley reveals on Life Uncut podcast that she was hit like a ton of bricks after

drinking all day and vomited in fellow Bachelor stars Holly Kingston and Jimmy Nicholson's garden. Truth. I can't even debunk it. It's true. It's a headline. It's real. Do you want to like embellish that story a little bit?

Elaborate. No, I need to quickly, just so people know that I'm not a raging alcoholic. I was on a boat. We were having a great time. It was a very long day. It was with Laura. the sun was shining the vibes were high the covid was not there at that time we had a great day i got to the end of the night and i have been having a little bit of a break from drinking the last

probably six months and then i just did like a really super cute like super cute little tidy tight chuck in the garden yeah like just picture if anyone was going to vomit classily that's what i did it was just a little bit in the dark no one saw and then i got on with my day how do you think jimmy and holly feel about this cute little chunder you did in their front yard oh that should be sordid, really. They asked you to come back and sign it for them. They have never asked me to come back. Alright, next article. A bit windy for a walk.

The Bachelor Australia star Brittany Hockley cuts a casual figure as she steps out with her pet pooch in Bondi Beach. I mean, was I trying to pick up people's numbers again? Is that what the article is? Yes, that is entirely accurate. I do pound the pavement with my pet pooch. Also, just like, how is that an article? Brittany

went for a walk. Honestly, it's a slow news day. There has to be something else to write about if they're saying that I went for a walk. But yes, accurate. Imagine if Brit tried to say that didn't happen. I did not go for a walk with my dog. That is such a lie. How dare they? The state of journalism in this country.

All right, next one. The Bachelor's Maddie J. Johnson. Oh, I'm glad they clarified. There's a couple of them floating around. Maddie J. Johnson reveals his unique Christmas gift to fiancée Laura Byrne. Oh, yes. He did get me a unique Christmas gift.

So this is a headline. He got me a T-shirt that had a photo of him on it and said forever, ever, ever, ever, ever, as in I will love you forever. We're, you know, going to get married this year. Then he also got me a hat and a matching mug and made me wear it all Christmas Day. Oh, because you had COVID.

Yeah. It's fun. What, like a photo of you? What is this? What are we talking about? Describe this present. No, it wasn't a photo of me. It was a photo of his face,

like an incredibly close-up cut photo of his face, not an attractive one either, that was just plastered, like probably about 10 times his actual face size across my stomach that said forever and forever was spelt wrong. It said for the. Is this just in case he forgets what you look like

when you were trapped in isolation in a two-bedroom apartment with all your people and your dog? I think he was just trying to really ram home the fact that we're going to spend time together. For the. Maybe it was COVID. Maybe it said fever and you were just delirious. You didn't know.

All right, let's do one more. Laura Byrne announces collaboration with fiancé, Maddie J. Johnson. There it is again. On OnlyFams. Fams. Oh, okay. This is a new site.

your kids might not know about it yet, OnlyFans. It's for families. No, this is a lie. Is this real? Oh, my God. Hello. I was like, wow, they've gone too far. It's when you get your whole family on the platform, you know.

No, we have. Matt once said to me, he's like, hey, babe, what do you think about us doing an OnlyFans? And I was like, are you kidding me? Like, I can't believe you'd even ask that. Did it as a joke, but did it very deadpan. And I'm still not sure whether or not he was being serious. Wait, you filmed content?

No. No, he asked me if I wanted to start an OnlyFans with him, but it was a joke that I thought he was being serious. It was not a joke. He was 100% testing the waters. Yeah. Actually, just checking, would anyone sign up if we did it? I would.

I'd buy it, yeah. I see for free. Tough times, people. All new in 22. Britt Hockley and Laura Byrne getting saucy for your Saturday morning. The Life Uncut radio show on KISS. Ladies, tell us, something's going on with you and your beautiful partner, Maddie J.

Oh, look, I'm in the doghouse. I'm in trouble but I don't know whether this is a reasonable thing to be in trouble for or not Matt and I we're very we're very tactile people like he's very cuddly at night sometimes too much but he's cuddly and I wake up in the morning and he likes to have a cuddle and I woke up the other morning and he had his back to me and then he got up and he had a shower and then he went and got the kids and but he'd barely spoken to me and I was like what have I done what have I done in the seven hours it's been since I saw him when I went to sleep completely out of character did you let one rip on him during the night probably but you know what he's okay with that yeah so it took me a

little while i was like something's happened what has happened this morning like have you gotten a text message like i felt like he must have received something and was annoyed at me about it yeah so here i am scratching my brain anyway i finally sit down with him and i'm like babe what have i done that's made you upset with me and he's like well actually um i had a dream last night i was like okay here we go strap yourselves in so maddie had had a dream that i had had sex and cheated on him with my best friend's husband wild hang on okay i haven't everyone i don't want daily mail to go crazy with these stories i absolutely have not but is there more to this story or he was literally mad at you because of what dream laura did yeah not real life

laura dream laura cheated on matt dream laura cheated on matt real laura has never cheated on matt and he was very upset by the whole thing to the point where i real laura right me right here felt like I had to apologise. So I ended up apologising that he had a dream where I cheated on him. Stop it. And it's still weird. He's dreamlighting you. That's like gaslighting.

I got dreamlighted. You got dreamlighted. He is dreamlighting. Maddie J, we almost need to get him on the line. This is absolutely unacceptable. And, Laura, I hope you do not apologise for what Dream Laura did to Dream Matt. Because she's wild. But also, have you ever woken up from a dream where your partner's done something

and you just feel icky and angry? And because I understand it, because I've definitely felt like that, any time Dream Maddie J has done the wrong thing, I wake up and I feel a bit cranky. So that's why I could empathise with it because I've done it myself. I would never hold anything that happened in my subconscious brain throughout the night against anybody. I just think that is ridiculous.

Okay, I have another question for you, though. What if you have a dream where you've done the horizontal dance of love and you're feeling pretty good when you wake up, you're feeling satisfied, and then real you is satisfied for days because you had it in your dream. Has that happened to you? No, just me. Okay.

That does not. Who is satisfied in their dreams? Britt and I just look at each other. I'm having a great time in my dreams, people, clearly. I need what she's got. Someone send it to me. Yeah, I want the name and make of your bed, please. Especially when single 10 years

and in a long distance relationship. Give me what you have. Britt starts sleeping over at Laura's house every night. I'm in the middle. Piggy in the middle. Ask Uncut is a segment that we do every week on the Life Uncut podcast and it's where we answer your listener questions and, boy, do we get some doozies.

So basically you write in, you ask us your deepest, darkest, dirtiest questions and we do our absolute best to answer them. Even if we are completely unqualified, we will bring some very enthusiastic advice. So we have Stephanie today who slid into the Life Uncut podcast DMs. This is a question. Hey, Laura and Britt. my ask uncut question is so my boyfriend loves being naked around the house especially now that

he works from home he like barely has the need to wear any clothes unless he's obviously got a zoo meeting and I like it because he's hot um but my problem is that he has a dog right and this is where it gets a bit weird so his dog is a staffie and it follows him everywhere around the house so like if my partner goes to the shower the dog will sit on the bath mat and wait till he's finished and i kind of find it weird because i'll get home and if my partner's taking a nap naked the dog will be lying on him cuddled up is he super weird like that he's comfortable being naked around his dog or am i being stuck up oh how do you feel okay i've i have some mixed feelings about this stephanie i've often wondered when i'm naked around the house i love being naked

as well i will say that in my own home no one can see me but i love being naked i'm often wondered if like you know how sometimes a dog locks eyes with you a little bit longer I'm like do you clock what's going on here do you know looking at me I'm naked here's a question for you though Britt someone who's just gotten a dog would you cuddle your dog naked no okay I don't know if I should tell you something I had like no top on the other day my dog came in for a cuddle like in my boobs and I'm like this is a little bit weird I felt weird I'd be like but I'll go with it but I just fell asleep so whatever happened happened no I think it's I think it's really i think it's weird i don't wouldn't feel comfortable with my partner being naked

spooning a dog on the lounge i think you at a minimum you put a barrier of clothing on whether that's just your jocks your undies a t-shirt whatever i don't think that i it's to me it's a no staffy's an emotive dog too there's a lot of emotion in those eyes i think that it's it's the innocence in it like obviously it means nothing there's no sexual attachment to your partner he's not there spooning the dog thinking it's weird so therefore it's not weird it's kind of weird that we all think it's so weird like we're the ones that have a problem with it because we're attaching a different meaning to it i think it's a little bit weird if he's down there downstairs genitalia is on the back of the dog oh like she did say back either she said you can

cuddle the dog you just can't touch it you can't be skinned to fur well then then no just put your clothes on stephanie it's a no from me make your man put some clothes on if he is spooning his dog look i'm not completely again i'm gonna fence it on this one i'm not completely against it i don't think the dog's there looking at your partners and going, oh, there's a bull. Like, I don't think your dog cares or knows. Well, you're never going to know that, are you? Maybe. I don't reckon your dog's there looking and eyeing them off, thinking, oh, that's a

chew toy I want to get a size of. Well, we can only hope. Bit of jerky on the bed. Alright, if you want to get an Ask Uncut on the air with the girls, hit us up on the Life Uncut social, send us a DM. But ladies, first radio show done and dusted. Oh my goodness. How did we get through that? Well, no one came in yet and kicked us out, so I'm feeling pretty good

about it and hoping to come back next week. We will see you then. And the Rebel Wilson podcast drops Tuesday, yeah, on iHeartRadio? Sure does. You can get it there and every Thursday as well. Alright guys, well done. Go get a drink, celebrate, and we'll see you next week, Saturday morning. Yahoo! Yahoo!

Miss any of the Life Uncut Radio Show with Britt Hockley and Laura Baird? Hear it in the Catch Up podcast on iHeartRadio.