Life Uncut - Low libido? Try Cliterature 💦

Episode Date: April 22, 2024

Hey Lifers, Producer Keeshia is still here... she's clinging on like a turmeric stain. Britt is spending the week with her mum over in South Africa. We get an update on Laura's kitten Raspberry and who her preferred parent seems to be!In today's episode we take a bit of a shallow dive into the world of #smut, #smuttybooks & #booktok. If you've been wishing your libido would wake the f*ck up and resurrect itself, 'cliterature' might be for you!One of us has been doing some homework and has entered the world of erotic romance novels. We discuss how these books have been hugely popular amongst women, how they've helped pleasure back into their lives and explore worlds of fantasy in a safe environment.  Taylor Swift dropped two albums over the weekend and we know that everyone is talking about the feud with Kim, and which songs are about Joe Alwyn & which are about Matty Healy. BUT, fewer people are talking about Taylor admitting to still tracking her ex's location on Find My Friends because he forgot to disable it! We have a chat about whether we use location tracking services and how it can feel when you're the one in the break up who doesn't move on first.  You can watch us on Youtube If you have an question please send it on it to life uncut podcast on Instagram Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands were never ceded. We pay our respects to their elders past and present. Always was, always will be Aboriginal land. This episode was recorded on Gadigal land. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. And I'm Keisha and I'm still here. Sorry to all of you who were really looking forward to Brit being finished with I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here and being back on the podcast. You're stuck with me for another week.

Brit's on safari. She's having some time off. She's having some R&R after what seems like a truly hectic ordeal. I mean, she was in the jungle for a month. And if you don't know how the show works, like towards the end, they fly a loved one over so that they can be there for the finale. But because it kind of all plays out so quickly off the back of the elimination, her mum was flown over to South Africa.

So they're spending the week going on game drives together. Which? You would be pretty pissed if you flew all the way over there, your kid got kicked out, and then you just had to fly straight home. What a waste. It's a pretty long journey to South Africa. It's 24 hours. I think there are some flights that go relatively direct,

but the one I took went up to Abu Dhabi and then down to South Africa. It was a really long journey. What did you do when you were in Africa, Keish? Let's just play that audio again for anyone who missed it. I went bungee jumping okay it was great experience anyway we've got one more week so Brit is not going to come back until next weekend which means she'll be back on the podcast next week but she's Keisha I decided to take this opportunity to say you have done a fucking fantastic job thank you well done I've had so much the crowd goes wild they probably don't

they're probably like oh my days they're like wait so one more episode I've actually had so much fun recording with you over the past month so I'm glad I get to do it for another week but something that you mentioned last week I'm deeply invested in how raspberry is going in your house what I'm not deeply invested in is that we brought it up on the podcast last week and I potentially made the mistake of saying hey guys if you've got a cat and you don't think your cat's pee smells you're wrong and you need your friends to tell you because we have been inundated with messages and one of them was pretty full on. There's been a couple of people who are deeply offended by that.

Like Keisha did say that if you have a cat, then 99.9% of the time your house smells like cat piss. And if you think it doesn't, it's probably because it does. And some of you guys were really offended. And I understand that because I'm a cat person. So I know how that would have upset you. But also it probably does because my house stinks. It fucking stings every day.

Man, you've got to clean that kitty litter every day. I already got to wipe two asses a day. now i've got a clean kitty litter if you include your own yeah oh i forgot about mine just snap it off don't you on the go actually i have hemorrhoids nothing snaps off these days is that too much that's too much sorry i would like to put it on the record though i'm not not a cat person like i like cats i have nothing against them i'm more of a dog person but you're not a kitty litter person that's the thing because the life on cut dms have truly migrated over the past week a week ago every single one of you would send us reels about plants like the amount of

times i have been sent propagation reels or that one old woman who's like outside holding a tree in a storm like that reel i get sent it at least 15 times a day yeah but at least you're into the plant content they send it to the life on cut instagram which it's my job to check the messages off and i'm like haha so funny so now quiche only gets recommendations for kitty litter one person sent me a recommendation for a kitty litter that we should purchase, like a kitty litter tray. I shit you not, it was $580. And I was like, guys, I don't know who you think I am, but currently she's shitting in a cardboard box, a recyclable kitty litter tray that I just put into the recycling bin every three days. I'm not buying, I refuse. I refuse to spend $500 on a cat toilet.

I'm trying to evaluate how much I detest the smell of cat piss because if it works, it's a real gamble. It's a roll of the dice. It's an investment. You expect that if you're paying $580 for something to remove the smell of your cat piss that it will. If it worked, you would do it. Cost of living, babe.

Yeah, but I'd make sacrifices in other places. I think that would be my upper limit, but I think I would be like this is an investment because it will bring me a lot more joy to not have to go through this. I'd just like to point out that the kitty litter tray costs twice the amount of the cat. The cat costs half. We've also sent quite a lot of content about how to train your cat

to poo in the toilet. Which I'm for and I am going to keep you guys abreast of this situation because at the moment I don't think she could get onto the toilet without falling in but as she gets a bit bigger, I am going to have one of those households where the cat just just goes straight into the loo and I know we talked about on Thursday but I'm this is happening follow along hey guys follow that lady and a cat can you follow my adventures document this yeah I will I will this is all coming but also I think from like an update perspective so Matt he's not a cat person he

will outwardly and happily say he prefers dogs he had no interest in getting a cat but if I wanted one it was fine I was you know he was like you do what you want to do but I'm not taking care of it I'm not going to pat it. I'm not going to feed it. He's like, it will just live alongside me, but I'm not going to show it any interest. Oh, how the tables have turned. Matt now is every night the cat sits on Matt's lap. We wake up in the morning and he's like, have you fed her yet? She seems like she needs more food. She's meowing. Like he's so invested in the cat, everything to do with the cat now. Even like I left the door slightly ajar because I went outside and I was putting the clothes on the line. So I was right in front of the door and he was like,

Laura, you need to close the door. The cat could get away. I thought you would have been thrilled. I'm not shocked by this evolution, but I am surprised by the time it's taken. One week. I thought it would be a bit longer. I thought it would kind of be a gradual wearing down process, but it seems it would be happening.

Is it because she's really cute? She is very cute. It's happened faster than what he managed to take to our own children. They're easier than children. Maybe that's why. Yeah, but also it's kind of one of those things that's annoying because I have done everything. I'm like the enthusiastic cat person,

but the cat chooses the one who's disinterested in him. Like that's the thing. The cat prefers Matt who doesn't show as much interest as I do, but then I get rejected. Anyway, that's probably enough cat chat for today. No, I think that that's for all pets. I think when you play a little hard to get, Delilah does this with me and I know she's manipulating me.

For anyone who doesn't know, Brit's dog Delilah I often look after and I love it. She prefers my boyfriend because he's a bit like indifferent to it. Like he likes her, but he will also be like, get off the lounge and show a bit more authority. She's like, yeah, treat me mean, daddy. I like it. I think that animals like it, especially cats. This is how they got the Egyptians, the ancient Egyptians to worship them.

They played hard to get. That kind of works in relationships as well, doesn't it? Anyway, Keish, there was something I want to talk to you about. And it's something that you have taken a real interest to recently. It has been showing up in the Facebook group. It's something that you have started your own little book club around. And that is, well, it's literature, but more so specifically, as you like to call it, clitrature, romance and sexy novels, which I didn't realize that they'd made such a comeback and that this is a thing that this is like a genre of books that people are deeply into. But there is a whole subcategory for it on TikTok at the moment as well.

Yeah. Just to be clear, this is not a new thing. It's just a new thing for me. And I am a beginner to this. There is such a fierce culture behind smut book talk. And I'll get into that. Smutty talk. But I feel a little bit like me talking about on a podcast is like the most beginner entry

level, like not even toenail being dipped in. And there will be people who are experts in this field who are like, oh my God. So please don't message me telling me that everything I'm saying is wrong. I'm new to this and I'm just having a lot of fun in it. I'm sorry, but how can you be wrong when it comes to reading smutty literature? I don't understand how there's a right or wrong. I didn't know that there's such a deep subcategory or subculture of smuttiness out there. Well, because even when I posted in the Facebook group about it being called clitorature, I

was told that that's not the most appropriate term. But I really like it. It's like an amalgamation of clit and clitoris. What is the most appropriate term? Well, it seems to be, and I don't know whether this is because of algorithms like censoring certain words, but it seems to be as though smut and hashtag spicy book talk are the most used or smut books. Can I just say, if people are getting offended by the word clitorature because they're saying

it's not the most on-trend people need to stop being offended by things or go touch grass like we get offended by a lot and i'm okay with it but i draw the line at smart talk i think there might be a little bit of a like a again don't know the best way to describe this essentially authors who are prolific in this space and are very very successful have been slightly diminished in the authoring world because of the type of content that they write and because they're writing pornos well kind of and people are like it's a bit patronizing to not recognize their success as great as we should because they are just as, you know, so I do understand that there could be something a little bit more deep behind it, but I really like the word and I think it's fun.

So for someone who sits on the other end of the spectrum, like I love reading and when I have time to do so, I always get reminded by how much I enjoy it, but I don't have the time at the moment and I certainly haven't invested into anything that smutty. And what I mean by that is like probably the smuttiest thing that I read at the time was Fifty Shades of Grey, like the series which I don't even think was that I think it was pretty vanilla really well I mean I've never read it and I've also never seen the movies very vanilla I think that that was like the world's introduction to that type of content I think it existed long before it but it became very popular at the time and now on TikTok over 4.8 billion people use the hashtags either smut smut books

or spicy book talk so it's like this whole genre of erotic romance and it's specifically centered around female pleasure. So the reason I actually initially kind of decided that I wanted to dip my toe in smart books is because I saw this post in the Life Uncut discussion group and it was from a woman who was saying she was a couple of months postpartum and she was basically saying that her libido had gone to shit and she was like guys I need your help how do I get my sex drive back and quite a few of the comments from people were saying you need to get into these types of books because they will absolutely turn you on and it will, your libido will be back. Just believe me. And I was like, wow, that's kind of interesting. Is this the secret sauce to the tingles?

Well, in my own life, like I have seen, I've felt a little bit of a decrease in my sex drive, could be hormonal, not sure what's going on there. But I was like, okay, I would like to get into this, but I'm not much of a reader. I feel like we read for work. Like we often read. Totally. We're not reading for pleasure, quote unquote. But I do get a lot of pleasure out of the books of the authors that we have on the podcast. But I've not really, it's not something that I do for myself, if that makes sense. And so I thought, okay, I need to get into reading. I need to do this before bed, blah, blah, blah.

And I was talking about it with a group of my girlfriends at the beach. And we decided, like, I think like a lot of women do, that we were like, let's start a book club. So wait, is your book club that you have, is it only smutty books? or is it anything books because do you read like female pleasure porn and then all talk about it in a group chat no but it's only it's very new so I am the connective tissue of this group because what ended up happening is that I had a couple of friends that wanted to catch up on a Sunday this is a couple weeks ago this would be like maybe six weeks ago and I was like let's go to the beach and then I had more friends that wanted to catch up and I was like oh we'll just come

along you know it's a it'll be a group hang and you can meet the other girls and it was me who was like oh I need to get more into reading and quite a few of those girls are already readers so we decided to make a whatsapp group and we called it book club and because I was kind of the the instigator of it I was like guys I'll choose the first book which is where I went wrong because I'm not the reader. Well producer Keisha brought the book that she recommended today and it is sitting there next to her computer could you just um just hold it up for anyone who's watching on YouTube. Well, this was recommended in the Facebook group. It's called Pucking Around. It's by Emily Rath. And it's got two hockey sticks on the front. Great if you love a pug.

Pucking Around, it's about hockey, right? So ice hockey, which is hot. Anyway, I did not realize that this book was 700 pages. Yeah, it's like Shantaram versus Pucking Around. They're kind of the same size. That's an ambitious read for a first one. But can you just like open up a page i want to see i want to see the level of read it to me in a dirty voice i feel as though as i read this to you i want to make eye contact read it slower i don't know if that's like gonna make hr stop touching yourself get involved okay here we go i gladly fall to my elbows on the counter a smile on my face as he buries his hand between my legs his other hand massages my ass cheek giving it a sharp slap but i feel straight

through my clip you're gonna take me deep he orders pressing in with his hips his cock wet with my release i hope you're not listening to this with children in the car i'm so sorry oh yeah we should have done a warning my bad sorry well i think we did say we were gonna read it so if your kids are listening i think that's your fault as he slides it in between my legs please a whimper you want me to come inside you don't you he teases softly nipping the lobe of my ear how frequently does this happen throughout the book like is it like every five pages is it like every is it every chapter well I'm quite shamefully so little through it but you already reached this part no I didn't actually the funniest part is that to read that I just flicked to a random page

and like that's the level of horny but my friends who have gotten their way through the entire 700 pages like these are some of the messages that have come in my whatsapp group I just screenshot at them guys this book is legit making me horny teenager same like it's such a light read but there's so much sex how did she randomly stumble into three guys this horny so yes my answer is it absolutely will get your juices flowing I don't know whether you're going to think it's a it's like a literature masterpiece it's definitely not poetry but I quite like that you know I'm going to compare it to something like Jane Austen. That's a heavy read. It's pretty hard. The language is very like delicate and it's very flowery. I don't know what happened. But I think the thing

about this that is interesting is we talk so much about like, how do you get desire back in your relationship? How do you get your libido back? This isn't completely no pressure way of going about it. And not only is it no pressure, but if you're in a relationship, your partner doesn't even need to know that that's the reason why you're reading it. Like they don't need to know what's in it. You could be sitting in bed reading a book and your partner would have no knowledge of what the content is. So you could use it as like a bit of a self-experiment and it would be very little pressure to do so. Yeah, there's something that feels quite classy about it. And it's funny you mentioned that the person next to you won't know that that's what you're doing.

One of my girlfriends put a message in the group chat. This is what it said. She wrote, i'm currently on a plane i pulled out the book and a lady walked past me to go to the bathroom and in front of everyone she went you're bold that one's filthy so this stranger you're like it takes one to know one you've clearly read it exactly clearly read it exactly would you read this in public or would you only save this for night times um i think i feel the pressure right now to read it in public because i'm so far behind for book club that I'm feeling the pressure that I need to catch up like we're having book club tomorrow night and I've only gotten through like not even a quarter of it and do you read this and then want

to have sex with your partner uh it definitely increases the arousal yeah but usually in my situation I probably need to change the timing of my reading because he's asleep by the time you're like hello wakey wakey fuck off I gotta get up early for work look if you I mean if you have any recommendations if you've read a smutty book and you were like that one really got the fanny tingles going put it into the Facebook group because then we'll start a thread in there I think for anybody who is wanting to get their libido back who is wanting to take matters into their own hands and would try anything but also doesn't want the pressure of having to try everything this could be a really great place to start so like put it in there I know that it exists

on TikTok and everything else and you can find them yourselves but if you've read it you've done the research share it don't gatekeeper that stuff share it with the rest of us what I thought was really lovely is that when I asked for recommendations, there were so many. So I love that there are women who are like, this one was great for me. There's also a lot of different types. Like there's fantasy based, and I don't mean fantasy in how we would talk about sexual fantasy. That also exists. Like there's one for all different kinks. You mean they're on the moon and like living with fairies? There actually are ones that involve like a fantasy style. That's not my personal type of content. I liked this one because it kind of centered around sport. And I

I was like, well, I'm into that, so I'll read the ice hockey-based one. What about you wrote down here fairy porn? What's that? Yeah, that's something I thought it was new, but it turns out it's been around since like the term has been around since like 2021. Apparently there's a type of erotic literature where it centres around fairies.

This is like cosplay. This is cosplay porn. I don't know at what point it turns into bestiality. Fairies aren't animals. They're humans with wings, tiny humans. I don't know when it becomes more about like the other creatures in the woods, but that's up to you. There's also a really good – this came recommended to me a lot

and I started following her on Instagram and TikTok. Her name is Tierney Reads. And she – there's heaps of people who do this kind of thing on BookTok. So they review smut books and they'll put up like the stars of what they think of the actual book and then they'll also put up chilies to say how spicy it was. so I'm just dipping my toe in the low chilly ones but I'm sure that you can find something that kind of goes with your own interests as well because there's so so many of them and look I actually

have found it a really fun way to kind of get my sex drive I know that that sounds like it's something that I feel a little bit uncomfortable talking about being like hey guys my sex drive's been really lowly yeah but everyone's sex drive goes up and down yeah if you were like I only have a high sex drive I'd be like get out Keisha boring and I think also when you're in long-term relationships or you're living with your partner and you see them all the time and there's not the desire and the intensity anymore like that's just I don't want to say it's normal and that it has to happen to everyone but I think for a lot of us that's a normal ebb and flow of a relationship and apparently it can be a really fun way for people to explore kink so to kind of dip their

toe in it without actually being the person who's dipping their toe in it, because you're kind of experiencing it secondhand through reading about it. And so a lot of people have found different things that they're into through reading the books. Most things that center around pleasure are for pleasure for men, right? Like porn, most porn is made for men. Even porn that's made for women still often has a palatability towards men. Whereas these books are very much written for women's pleasure and the way in which they're written, the people who are consuming this are women. Would you get into this type of, do you need to pass it on after I'm done? Can you wipe it down first? Now, something that the entire world is talking about at the moment is Taylor

Swift. And part of me hates that we're talking about it, not because I don't adore her, but because I am sure that there's people out there who have had enough. Because if you're not a Swifty, you're probably sick of hearing about her because every single person is talking about her at the moment every news outlet every fucking podcast every article or everything posted on instagram like everybody is talking about her i feel a little nervous talking about her because i really like taylor but you're like i'm gonna get something wrong and they'll come for me there are people who know much more and i don't want to speak from a position of power and we don't we absolutely don't we are not those people like you guys know i'm very much enjoy it had so much fun

at the concert. She is incredible. Do I know the intricacies of her and her cat's names? No, I don't, but I still very much value it. And I also love the new album. Listen to it all the weekend. Okay. So for anyone who doesn't know, which I know they don't exist, but the new album came out, the Tortured Poets Department. It's what she teased on her recent Errors Tour. And I think there's been so many people who have been waiting with bated breath for this to drop, which it did on Friday last week. And then she had a double surprise and she ended up dropping two albums. Why not when you're Taylor Swift, eh? Like, why not?

When does this woman sleep? Never. Sorry, you've just been touring the world for however many years. How do you also have the time to record that much music? I don't think that sleep is one of her hobbies like it is for you, Kesh. I don't think she has a sleep app. I reckon if she was going to actually document it, to be fair, actually take that back, Taylor Swift is good at everything she does.

She's probably even good at sleep. Yeah, she'd have better sleep hygiene than me, which is devastating to me because it's something I really care about. But look, I did also listen to, I haven't made my whole way through it. There are people who are so in Taylor Swift's world that they were like, okay, I'm clearing my weekend plans and I want to sit down with headphones on from woe to go. People had listening parties. I was on Instagram on Friday night and people were doing live listen parties where they

were streaming their reactions to listening to the music. So they were like, people were like crying and screaming and the amount of energy that one must need to maintain to get through two albums with that sort of intensity I didn't have that but I appreciate that people out there are so invested in doing this it's almost unfathomable the like the rip she has yeah but for the length of time that she's had it and for how that kind of just maintains like the fact that we've just done this Taylor Swift frenzy of the errors tour and now she's managed to like bring it back up again and go for round two it's really quite remarkable what I find really remarkable is that she has such a unique way of making whatever she's

experiencing in her music relatable for people and I actually noticed that in this whole album and I think most people were assuming that this was going to be a Joe Alwyn breakup album they were together for like six years or something and there are some absolutely there are songs about him on the album but I think most people were expecting more and they were expecting her to kind of go a little maybe harder on him fucking take down yeah and I destroy him like I said I haven't heard every song but from what I've heard and what I've read it seems as though either they had a relatively non-nasty breakup or she's doing the classy route of like I'm not gonna shit on you too much in this album who she did shit on was Maddie Healy I think for a lot of people who

especially those who are dating there are so many songs about breakups and there are so many songs about breakups of these deep loves these long-term relationships but I don't feel as though there's as much written about the two-month relationships that and when you're dating you're often going through that emotional roller coaster so frequently but you're not really given the validation perhaps of like it's reasonable that you feel this upset or it's reasonable that you have this much emotion about this situation ship that's broken down well if anything most of the you're invalidated it's not even it's the opposite it's like when and especially if you're the person who is in that dating cycle and you have friends who are in long-term relationships often when

someone goes through like another relationship failure or another one that doesn't quite work out even though it's been very short-lived and from the outset they weren't that invested in it the person who's upset isn't even necessarily that upset about that relationship they're upset about the fact that they're once again it didn't happen for them or once again they're back into this like having to date cycle I guess totally it's that yo-yo of excitement disappointment excitement and I really like that Taylor included so much of this album centered around those emotions and for her it was with Maddie Healy and they they're rumored to have dated for like two months you know a month two three who knows for everyone who's experienced love they're like well

I can relate to at least some part of this I thought it was very smart well the thing that we wanted to talk about I mean there's been a few easter eggs and the stories that have received like the most media attention are like the spat between her and Kim Kardashian and that having a little easter egg and then obviously the Mattie Healy stuff but one of the topics that came up off the weekend and the thing that we wanted to have a discussion about is one of the songs which is called the black dog now this song is about Joe Irwin and it's about their relationship and more specifically around when they had gone through their breakup and these are the lyrics I am someone who until recent events you shared your secrets with and your location you forgot

to turn it off and so i watch as you walk into some bar called the black dog and pierce new holes in my heart you forgot to turn it off and it hits me which can we just take a moment and all like untangle ourselves from the taylor swift frenzy and everything else because i know she can do no wrong but at the same time she's singing a song about how she still looks at her ex boyfriend's location services because he still has Find My Friends on. She is, and I don't want to use a word that's loaded with a lot of negativity, but she's stalking his location. She knows where he is without him giving actual direct consent. Because I would say that when you break up with someone, the consent that you have given for them to track your location is instantly removed.

Yes. I do think it's slightly softer than that though, because it's not like she broke into his phone and loaded it up there without him knowing about it. He's just forgotten to turn it off. As she said, she said, you forgot to turn it off. So, I mean, he forgot to turn it off, but like, and I don't want to point barbs because I think a lot of us have been in this situation, but just because someone forgets to turn off their location services, you've been through a breakup. You had access to their location up until that point. There has to be a point of self-control where you go, I'm not supposed to see this anymore. So I'm going to unfollow this person's notifications as to where they are yeah but with correct me if i'm wrong

with find my i'm assuming this is iphone and like find my friends or whatever it is in the app apparently when you stop viewing someone's location or they stop sharing it with you you get a notification so it's kind of like unfriending someone on facebook if you but them getting a notification that you've done it it's like a whole other step of for me it would feel a bit like a dagger of like wow that's everything in my life is changing and that's a perfect symbol of what is changing in my life they you know we used to share everything we used to share a home we used to share where we were so for safety and now that too has ended I feel as though it could be something that if you went through an amicable breakup you might just delay

doing that for a bit because you're like I just don't want to rub the salt in the wound it's like the finality of it yeah yeah I understand that I think and like don't get me wrong this is not me getting on my high horse being like this is so problematic it's creating a culture like I don't think it is I don't think that this is going to have like long-term cultural impacts on people but it does create a little bit of a gray area I guess because so many of us behave in ways that are not like if you said to me when you'd been through a breakup that you were still tracking your ex-boyfriend's location I would as a friend say to you Keisha you're being crazy and you need to stop that because that is really unhealthy and I don't care if you've been broken

up for a week or you've been broken up for two months you need to stop and from your own level of self-preservation and also from a place of his privacy you need to be the bigger person and unfollow that regardless of whether he gets notified or not so I think it's a very interesting call as someone who is such a huge public figure as what she is to admit that this is something that she's still doing because it is such undesirable behavior that we would call out of any of our friends if they were doing it i completely agree i remember times in my life particularly when i dated toxic people and i'm thinking of one in particular and like i am not proud to admit but i used to look at his social media like a hawk like as soon as we broke

up i would be like what are you doing yeah but i guess there's a difference in that because he has a choice as to what he posts and i also think that he probably posted things to deliberately spite me like you know they post the Instagram stories out at the bars and like little insinuations that you're like oh okay you're moving on totally but I think that that's very very different for two reasons one because it's obviously curated and two because the time you know you're not actually you don't need to post live you don't need to post where you are when you're there and what you're doing people can choose to do that and they can choose to post live or they can save those photos and post them the next day whereas like when you've got someone's location services on

you know where they are you know what they're doing maybe like we're unpacking this in too much of a granular level but at the same time there would be people who just genuinely forgot that someone's able to see their whereabouts and I think that that creates a real problem I do think that once you're not in a relationship anymore the implied consent around knowing where that person is at all times is instantly taken away so whether they remove it from your phone or they don't you should be removing it from your phone yeah I mean I completely agree with you Imagine writing a fucking song about that. That's inside thoughts.

They are thoughts. That's stuff that should not be shared with 300 million people in a single day. Put that in your diary. I know that her songs are her verbal diary, but she needs a real one as well. See, I think that there is a certain amount of vulnerability to that, that I go, oh, yeah, I can see why you felt like you wanted to just know what they were doing. And I'm talking about non-problematic relationships.

Obviously, there is a very dark side to location tracking. We're not, I'm not referring to that right now. But how do you actually feel about location tracking in general? Because I do not have one person that knows where I am at all times. Neither. I don't have it on my phone. It's an interesting one to me because I would say the only times where I've ever felt as though I wanted to have location tracking on a partner's phone was because I didn't trust them. So therefore my intentions behind having it wasn't pure. It was to keep tabs on them because the relationship was toxic. He often wasn't where he said he was going to be and he lied a lot so my version of reality was always being challenged

because my intuition and everything about myself was saying this is not true he is lying but he would be saying something to me point black as though it was fact and I think when you have that push and pull in yourself you often try and reach for any sort of truth and so location services can provide that whereas like in my relationship with Matt now he would have no Matt would have no problem with doing it but there's no part of me that feels as though I need to do it I don't care to know where he is I know some people do it as a safety thing maybe you're a shift worker maybe you live or you have to move through areas that feel like deeply unsafe to you maybe you get public transport in the nighttime whatever that is I can understand the safety element for it

but I don't feel as though in our relationship that that safety element applies I don't think we're ever in a situation where I would go god I need to know where Matt is right now to make sure that he's safe or vice versa. So therefore I kind of question, well, what is the purpose of having it? But I do think it's really important for like parents having it for their kids. And I think that there is some level, it doesn't encroach in their privacy. It is genuinely something that some people are entitled to know. And I think with a parent dynamic that exists. Wow. As a teenager, I am really glad that this didn't exist. Totally. I did some naughty things and I was definitely places that I lied about to my mom. And if you're listening to this, sorry, mom, but it's true. And

worked out fine. You're like, mom, you still don't know about it. No, I think from a kid perspective, and I know that this is kind of taken off tangent a little bit, but I will do this with our girls when they're older. Like if you want a phone and I'm paying for your phone, then you can turn your location services on. And I don't think that that's, it is a bit of an ultimatum when it comes to kind of like phone use. But at the same time, if you want the independence to be able to do those things and you want me to pay for you for that independence, then you can turn your location services on. Yeah. I'm thinking about this in my own life and I have a couple of friends who most of them are single. So they have it on with a couple of their close friends. And I think

that that is mostly from a safety perspective because they're going on dates with new people quite frequently. And I don't know why, because I can see the logical nature of this. And I so trust my boyfriend that I don't know why I still feel as though if I was asked to share my location with someone I just feel uncomfortable about it and I have I still cannot think of the logical reason as to why that's the case because I don't do dodgy things yeah I don't go places that I'm not supposed to be but there's just a part of me that is like maybe it could be used against you even though like no one in my life has given me a reason to feel that way you know it's this is actually a reflection of me not of them no but i think it's also a reflection of the world and

being very aware that there are relationships that can turn toxic really quickly i would say if you're in a new relationship and the person that you're dating asks you to share your location services with them and vice versa i i wouldn't say don't do it but i would also say like look out for any other red flags because i i sometimes think that these things we can look at that as flattery we can go oh they really want to know where I am and they you know they care so much about me and they're so invested in this relationship and it's like opening up a joint bank account together that can feel like a real relationship milestone which it can be and it can be an incredibly healthy beautiful relationship milestone it also can be the indication of a

relationship moving faster than what it should because the relationship in essence will turn toxic or that person wants to have a level of control over someone but coming back to this conversation around like Taylor Swift singing literally singing a song about the fact that she still has access to where her ex-boyfriend's location is she probably doesn't know he's probably I'm sure he's turned it off now I guess part of me and I know it sits in the gray because normally I would be the first person to say this is deeply problematic and we shouldn't be platforming this and I think I can acknowledge my bias because I like her so much and I know that she as a person or I shouldn't say I know I don't know her at all but I assume she as a person is not problematic

and therefore this is a reflection of being someone who's really heartbroken not ready to sever every part of the breakup and so they're still holding on to hope that maybe they'll get back together and some of these actions feel really final you know especially knowing that it sends a notification to that person like it's the digital I'm going to come over and collect my things yeah so that I never have to see you again it feels so final but I think there is something quite kind in the vulnerability around it and I say that because I think as most women or most people going through breakups we don't all behave perfectly we all do things that maybe are on a side where if we were to see our friends do it we would go hey you might need to rethink that

behavior also when we like zoom out and you look at it from a historical point like I look at some of the behavior I did in breakups two years ago and I'm like that's fucked that's what I mean and I'm not saying that you're a danger I'm not saying that you're deeply problematic but I am saying that breakups cause us to do things that we are not proud of and I do appreciate the visibility over her behavior because I think it makes people feel less stupid I guess but also I do think that maybe there is a bigger conversation around normalizing it and does that then make people go oh it's okay Taylor Swift did it I don't know I don't know where the line is if this song was a bit like I tracked you so that I could follow you and I can like know exactly

what you're up to if there was a conclusion to what she did with the information then it's problematic but really she just sat there and was sad she just cried she was just sad because it's it's like indicative of the fact that he was moving on and I think that that is something that we've all personally felt and like I look back on some of the things that I would witness of my exes moving on and it fucking breaks you. Like this would just feel as though this person is going out and doing things in their life and maybe you're not. Maybe you're still at home devastated by something

and you're really shattered and you can feel as though you're the one who's like left behind in the moving on process. One thing that can be seen in isolation as very bad, which it is, when you look at it within a greater context of the discussion, you're like, yeah, okay, look, it's a shade of grey. Let's get into Accidentally Unfiltered. So these are your most embarrassing stories of the week. Thank you for sending them through. And if you haven't sent us one, if you have an embarrassing story that you've been like, you know what, I really should tell the girls, but then you keep

forgetting to tell us, fucking send it in to Life Uncut Podcast on Instagram. And I'm going to go first. I cut my fingernails and toenails the other day, and I put all the clippings into a plastic bag with the intention of throwing that plastic bag away. The problem here is the word intention. I had the intention of getting rid of it. Fast forward to the weekend and I went to the shops to exchange a shirt I got as a gift that was a size too small. I gave the bag to the lady at the desk with the shirt inside. She turned the bag upside down and tipped it out and out fell the shirt along with all of my fingernail and toenail clippings. I totally didn't register that the bag I used to take my shirt back was also the same one I had used a few days earlier

to collect all of my clippings. I am mortified. I feel sick. What would you do also if you were that woman? I feel sick. If you were that woman who had had the shirt returned, you would be like, this is used. I can't return this.

There is something so particularly gross about navels and I don't know why. It's just keratin. It's fine when it's on your body but weird when it's on the floor. It's fine when it's yours. It's not fine when it's a stranger's. like you know if you if you were at the gym and you're on the mat you know that like flooring at the gym and everything's fine and you're doing a burpee and you're real proud of yourself and then

you like look to the side and there's someone else's nail there it makes you do a different kind of burpee it's enough for me to like leave there's just something so great i feel so sorry for this woman who had to like and also there were multiple it's not like just one she's done her full fingernails and for 20 there's 20 of them i'd not be refunding you i don't think i could refund you you have to pay a tax for that i mean this as someone who works in retail if i pulled out a wedding ring and it was covered in toenails i'd say this is used you're not returning this in the order in which i gave it to you in no i i don't know what do you do did you get a refund i need to know did she just brush the the toenail clippings off the counter what did she do

did you all pretend like it didn't happen did you just like stand there and ignore the if she pretended like that didn't happen she's a better woman than i am would you say i'm so sorry my mum must have clipped her nails into a bag. This is humiliating. I hate my husband. How disgusting are they? My husband's a pig. What an absolutely filthy pig. I'm going to go home and get divorced right now. I have an accidentally unfiltered today that has actually come in from my friend, Sophie, who works at the radio here. And she's a Kiwi. She said, when I was back in New Zealand, I went and had a normal doctor's appointment. It was like a

general checkup and you know, all the female stuff. As we finished, I was sitting across from her you know when you like you know when you finish and you're still sitting on the bed and they're punching all the data into the computer and you just put your pants on and go and sit on the seat you don't just sit on the bed i put my pants on and just sat back up on the the bed table okay no no it's too intimate i need to go back and i put my pants on i go and sit on the seat where i where i came in and sat down okay so she's sitting on this bed as the doctor's inputting the information and she saw this bottle of clear liquid beside the bed so she's like oh good i'll give my hands a clean with a hand sanitizer and she squirts it all over her hands covers her hands

and she's rubbing them together and she's like this is a weird consistency like because obviously hand sanitizer as soon as you start using it starts evaporating yeah like it starts drying out real quick thin too yeah like alcohol-y so in her confusion the doctor turned around and looked at her and was like uh sophie that's lube she said now my hands are sticky completely covered in lube as i sit there with my legs just hanging off of the bed there's something really grounding about the fact that your feet don't touch the floor either like a fucking child start swinging them it's fine you're fine you're okay you can do weird things in front of doctors they don't care that is true like if you were

ever going to be in safe company to do weird stuff it's in front of a doctor i think she just how stupid also because there's an element of like you weren't instructed to do that yeah you did it yeah kind of took the liberty of I'm just gonna help myself to this to the loop yeah you're like I'll use that for later sorry you walk out without you walk out with your literature book and your lubed up hands and you're like sorry I'm ready I could actually use this Keisha's like I'm ready I'll take this home right now uh Laura well I think that this would probably be her suck for the week but uh do we want to get into second suite the highlight and low light of our weeks what was your suck what was my suck I know I knew this is coming and now I can't even remember oh I

had a mighty mighty fight with Matt that can be my suck had a real doozy of a fight you know when you have those fights where afterwards it takes you a couple of hours but you're like I hate my husband that's the feeling in my body I hope that this is relatable because like I get such fury after a bad fight where like we don't see eye to eye the fury in me is so unreasonable and then i not true i know it's no it is true i know it subsides i know that this is why we always say the way you feel is not real not instantly anyway your reaction to something is not your real reaction what's your fight style too uh well actually i just went quiet this time i just couldn't be bothered i think we tried to work it out we were not seeing eye to eye we're not

yellers like we don't yell we just kind of throw a few barbs we were trying to talk through it but neither of us was seeing each other's point of view and it was actually quite late whereas I know I said a few weeks ago that we never go to bed angry but I was just like we're not going to resolve this tonight and I feel so angry so I'm going to lay here and stare at the ceiling and every 10 minutes I'm going to just say one thing to you so you can't fucking sleep either that was my fight style so weird so we would we would almost get back to sleep and I'd be like it's interesting that you think that though Matt because you know how you said this whenever it starts with it's interesting it's not it's actually not interesting so we could have just had a fight

and made up and we would have both been to bed at a normal time but because I over the space of another hour brought up six new points but I made sure that I left a good amount of space in between just to be real fucking annoying because I can't sleep if I'm angry there's no way I'm I cannot sleep angry and I know I said this recently but anyway I had a lot of fury in my body and I was like I guess this is the time where we get divorced and then the next day we talked about it we're fine we love each other more than ever sometimes you just need to get a bit of a sometimes you need to get it out and then you have great makeup sex and everything's wonderful again in both mine and matt's defense in terms of how we fight we don't often say mean like it's very rare for us to say

mean things we're not mean to each other so like even though we're both really angry and i know he also is contemplating divorce we would never ever ever ever say those awful things you know because we know we love each other so much and we know it's not real yeah you just like you have these visceral reactions where you're so mad and then you're like I just need to calm down because I actually love this person more than anything so this is not real right now they have just very much pissed me off I respect that because there's a lot of control in that because sometimes it's easiest to shoot from the hip yeah no we don't we really really don't which is good so anyway so how long did it take you to recover um the next afternoon because he left really early in the

morning so he was out of the house at like 5 30 so we didn't he came and gave me a hug and a kiss goodbye and it was like nice he woke me up got one back there didn't he he gave me a hug and a kiss goodbye in the morning and he went to the airport but then we didn't speak all day so then when i came home that afternoon we spoke about it straight away and we made up straight away stupid well no i think this is like this is real this is what actual relationships are like anyway we had always rainbow and sunshines we had it was about the thing that we often fight about now it was about me working too much so that was the it's the running commentary of the fight anyway said as i'm at work so that was a fight anyway that was my suck it was shitty but obviously like sometimes

and i do mean this having a fight to then make up i think it's a really healthy step in the right direction and like sometimes you get to then say all the things that you've been holding on to that you needed to say and get out and then you kind of feel like you're starting again from a from a you know a clean slate which fights can be really productive in getting to a place of great resolution and relationships so that was probably being like now that we're fucking awesome off the back of it feels like a sweet as well so that's my suck and my sweet having a fight and then I'm having the makeup yeah that's my sweet is Matt and I are like really great now because we needed to we needed to have that fight it would have been brewing for too long goodbye then thank

you thank you so much I'm sure he will listen to this and be like why the fuck are you telling people this shit listen to his podcast and get his take okay his take is like I also wanted to divorce my wife what is your suck my suck is that I was really humbled by our own people through the week so i posted something in the facebook group the life uncut discussion group and i kind of regret it now because i think i'm uncultured swine so i posted something about really not enjoying this show that's number one on netflix at the moment i disagree i strongly disagree with your take on this as well kish okay so it's called baby reindeer if you haven't seen it it's i think it's like nine eight or nine episodes something like that and the episodes

are pretty long. They're like over 45 minutes. And I got four episodes into this and I kind of just had this realization that I was like, I'm really not enjoying this. I'm really uncomfortable. I'm feeling all of these feelings inside of me and they're not good ones. And so why am I still watching this? Like I'm really, I'm not having a good time. I just want to get out. But sometimes you don't have to watch TV for a good time. Sometimes you watch it to feel even a negative emotion. At least it makes you feel something. So this is where I think that I actually have learned from this experience, because I probably jumped the gun by saying how much I disliked this TV show. I did know it was based off of a true story, but I didn't know it was based off of the

main actor's true story. So a lot of people were like, it was really confronting and it was so brave of him to put this out into the world because it shows some really dark sides of trauma. Also shows some really dark sides of him as well. Like things that he probably wouldn't feel, he feels ashamed of, whether that's like, you know, whether he should or he shouldn't. But I think that that it doesn't show him in the best light at times either yeah and I have respect for that but I think I've realized that I'm just really adverse to this type of content I guess you know for me I this might be a little bit it might make me seem a bit like a child but up until last November I'm actually medicated for this now because I have really really graphic and very real

nightmares and they're incredibly intrusive and so I steered away from any type of content that's particularly distressing I don't watch true crime I especially don't watch anything like horror or scary or like anything that's particularly traumatic for me I'm like oh that's probably not best for me because it might give my brain some ideas that I don't want it to have and so I really feel a bit uh I really object to this type of content for myself I understand that other people really like it but some of the comments in this thread were like essentially you might just be a bit too basic and maybe only robin comes if you and for that i think is fair it's fair but it's a suck i'm uncultured swine well i agree because i think it is brilliantly

done like i don't think that anyone's watching it and they're enjoying their time watching it but i think it's a really it's really well documented it's really well filmed and it was going to be my recommendation for the week so if you haven't seen baby reindeer this is my recommendation go and see it unless you're someone who has intrusive thoughts unless you just don't Like dark shit for eight hours across your screen. Anyway, I'm really looking forward to Bridgerton, the new season. Okay. This is your second suite.

This is not your recommendations for the week. So my suite for the week is that over the weekend, my boyfriend and I celebrated our one-year anniversary. So cute. I also feel like things went so quickly for you. Like one year you guys lived together. You finally said I love you, which took a while, but you got there. That wasn't quick.

That one took nine months. Do you now say it on the reg? Oh, yeah. So now it's a normal thing? a hundred percent not a day goes by oh that's cute if a day went by i'd feel like that was strange you'd be like turn your location services on where the fuck are you anyway guys that is it from us also if you haven't subscribed to the youtube channel yet all of these episodes are going up on youtube now so if you want to watch us in the flesh not just listen to us in your ears

we are so up to date now so they're kind of the youtube version of the podcast are dropping within like 24 hours of the actual episode so we are all up to date and they are amazing i so love. I think it's a very different dimension watching it on YouTube versus listening to it on Apple Podcasts. Yeah. I also was not the type of person who ever watched YouTube podcasts before we had our channel. And so I've started watching a couple more now because I want to get ideas how we can do it better and that kind of thing. And I've been watching Mark Manson's podcast on YouTube and I actually do really enjoy it. I'm like, oh, I get why people are into this. It feels more personal. It feels like you're just hanging out with people.

And you're in a room having a chat. Yeah. Well, anyways, we'll put all the links in the show notes. You can go and have a watch, have a listen. Also, if you enjoyed the episode, share it with your friends and you know the drill. Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends and share the love. Because we love love!