Life Uncut - Matt Has A Very Big Announcement!!! Ask Uncut with Matty J and Laura

Episode Date: January 14, 2025

Hey Lifers!Today's ep is with our favourite mum and dad. We start this ep by bickering about driving and scraped rims... as every married couple would. Matt has a particularly exciting announcement for us and Laura was not initially happy about it! They speak about their future plans and whether they're both on board to have a 3rd kid. Then they jump into some questions for them and some ask uncut questions! Is Laura the breadwinner? If so, how does Matt feel about that? How early on in the bach season did Matt know that he was going to choose Laura? Are you friends with any of your exes? Navigating friendships if you become a parent Knowing what you know now as a parent, would you go back and change anything? Do you think that one person loves the other a bit more in a relationship? Have any of you had botox? How do they feel about the paparazzi  Ask Uncut questions: I AM PREGNANT AFTER A ONE NIGHT STAND. SHOULD I TELL HIM?I had unprotected sex after a wedding with another guest and have since found out that I’m pregnant. Whilst the guy is lovely, it’s not a long term match given locations and jobs so I plan on terminating. Would you want to know? Should I tell him? And if so what is the best way to do so?   DWINDLING SEX DRIVE - AM I THE PROBLEM?My husband and I have been together for 8 years (married for the last 3). We don’t have kids but have been through some major life obstacles in the last few years both to do with our careers as doctors and a change in work life balance. We are balancing working long days, having opposing days off and having to study outside of work for exams etc to advance in our careers. Our sex life has suffered and now it feels like more of a chore these days. On the rare occasion we do get intimate,I have found that I am disinterested in the act all together including doing anything sexual on my own. This is not the first time in a relationship that sex has dwindled for me over time and I’m starting to wonder if I even have the capability to sustain sexual lust in a long term relationship in general. Is this possible or is what I am experiencing common or am I the problem? You can watch us on Youtube Find us on Instagram Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xx  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This episode was recorded on Camarago land. Car's been gone for two days. Don't get me started. It's a whole story that we simply don't have time for. And that's because, look, this is an Ask Uncut episode. It's very car heavy. There's been a lot of car chat, but we have something that's very important to talk about from the two of us to y'all out there in the world.

Are we going to do that at the end? We're going to do it now. Oh, now? Yeah, great. I'm ready. Yeah. So, Matt, we have some very big news. Hi guys, and welcome back to a very special summer episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura.

I'm Matty J. And producer Keisha is also here hiding. We're back! It's been so long since you've been here, Matthew. This is the first one back after 2024. No, this is still a part of our summer series. Okay, sorry. Ignore me. But yeah, it has been a while since I've been here. Maybe six months? Eight months? I think, yeah.

Twelve months? Who knows? I think it's more than like a year and a half. I've forgotten about you. Why has it taken so long to get me back on the podcast? Because you started your own podcast and you've just been very busy being a doting dad. Have I though? Also, I do love that you've paid zero attention to Life Uncut recently because we have had two episodes drop in the summer holidays.

So it's not, you know, we're kind of back, but we're not back. We never went anywhere. I love the podcast, but I don't listen to it. Sorry. I think that's probably best for your relationship, actually. It is also why sometimes I tell stories about you on the podcast and there's zero ramifications. I kind of think, I wonder how Matt will feel about that. And then you never feel anything about it.

And it's because you actually have no idea. I have to tell you, Laura, because I used to edit your pod, Matt, and I haven't for a little while now. But some of the listeners in the Facebook group, in the Facebook group, sir, do say that it's really interesting getting a story from two sides. So it actually happens in reverse as well. Matt talks about you. I know. I have actually heard a couple of things that you've said during, like,

cause like, so when we're at home, I'll be editing Life Uncut. Sometimes Matt overhears some things. He'll be editing Two Dirty Dads. Sometimes I overhear some things. And every so often there is like a look of judgment when you know you're being spoken about, but we never really sift through and try and figure out what was actually said about us. I'm always just, I'm singing your praises. That's not true. On my podcast. I'm always like, Laura is such an amazing wife. She's an incredible mum. Is it kind of like how you were singing my praises this morning about my driving?

ah i know you've said before you hate driving when i'm in the passenger seat because i make you anxious because i'm just like flinching all the time you fucking destroyed the car this morning we came here we got here in one piece no issues and then like the final the final millimeters that we traveled in the car with laura just scraping the wheel against the gutter that's fair because it was as though I part, but then I just went back a little bit. It was like I'd parked perfectly. You were in. And then I reversed and went.

Yeah, I did that. I'm sorry. It was absolutely not intentional. I also know how much you deeply care about the rims of the car wheel and I want it to be known. I don't care as much about them. Although I have secretly, I go out to the garage on the street at nighttime and I inspect the wheels of your car and you're yet to scrape your car wheels.

And this is the first time you're congratulating me. I know. I do my little like nightly inspections and I'm like, Wednesday, the 18th of September, wheels are clean. It's whenever he takes the bins out. I know exactly what this is. It's when you take the bins out, you check my car wheels. You did have a weird white scratch on the boot.

Did you hit the boot? No, I haven't hit anything. Who was that? Keisha? I think the funniest thing is that Laura picks me up for work every day that we come in. So I'm in the car often when she parks at work. She's never, ever scraped.

I've never scraped. It's because it's, okay, in my defence, I don't like driving. Matt has a different car than me. I don't like driving it. I don't like it. The end. That's the story. You're a very good driver.

You're a very good driver. I am also a good driver. No one cares. Speaking of picking up Keisha to come to work today. so I do pick up Keisha every time you're a great driver sorry did you want more no I'm just like I've been on the podcast for what seven minutes I'm already trying to tell a story and Laura's like shut up bitch oh was there a story after that I thought you were just wanting praise I have been in the car with you a couple of times while you've been driving and I will give you a

tick of approval but to be honest I don't really have much more to comment on like it's not like I was like wow that was really impressive did you not feel unsafe when you got into our car today when we picked you up and Matt had just momentarily farted before you got in there and I made him wind both windows down. Did you know what happened before we picked you up, Keej? Because Laura always has a go at me as a joke. I've done it twice in my life that I like do a jolty turn or I like go hard on the brake that in the passenger seat

you're being flung all over the place. So this morning as a joke, every time she went to a stop sign, I would on purpose go. And then she started doing it more and then I actually like smashed my head on the back of the seat at a stop sign. I looked to my left and this girl was standing there looking going. She was horrified. That woman is an erratic driver.

And I was holding my head going, oh. Also, in these types of moments, when I know there's a lot of theatrics that's going on, I also just hope that she maybe recognizes who you are and that's her interaction with the Maddie J. She's thinking that poor man, poor man putting up with that roller coaster of a car ride. I've just realized Matt it's your car why weren't you driving I went to fix Laura's car right my car's broken had a broken key and it's me car's been gone for two days don't get me started it's a whole story that we simply don't have time for and that's because look this is an Ask Uncut

episode it's very car heavy very it's been there's been a lot of car chat but we have something that's very important to talk about firstly just to kind of give you like the run of the land of what this episode is going to be about. We have some questions that you guys asked us about Matt and I specifically. We also have some generic Ask Uncut questions. They're not generic because every question is important. But what I mean is, is that they're about your life and we have no expertise, but we're going to answer those questions in whatever way we can.

Well said. And then we also have a very important announcement from the two of us to y'all out there in the Oh, we're going to do that at the end. We're going to do it now. Oh, now. Yeah. Great. I'm ready.

Yeah. So, Matt, we have some very big news. Laura's pregnant. You can't say that. Just joking. Because I'm not. Although you are trying to get me pregnant, and that's nice. It's a lot harder third time round.

Yeah. Hurry up and get pregnant. Okay. Stop fighting it. Stop fighting my sperm. You hate my sperm. If I don't speak, more erratic things just come out of your mouth. Have you noticed?

No, I just had flashbacks to you being like, ugh. it's like my sperm is like acid what whenever we finish sex you're like get it off me hence why i said more erratic things come out of your mouth okay the very big announcement that we have is drum roll please what is that is that like a keisha pulls out a vibrator you're gonna say it do you want me to say it yeah okay i'll say it all right well i'm going on i'm a celebrity get me out of here i'm going in the jungle

yeah everyone bring your vibrators out in unison now matt is going on i'm a celebrity get me out of here he's leaving me very very soon for potentially if you make it to the end six weeks it's five and a half i think i said to you when you were like how long is it going to be and i was like it's four weeks at the max that's exactly what britney said exactly what britney said and it wasn't it was Six. Every single day that we talk about this, it gets slightly longer. I'm going for half the year. It's a six month trip.

Okay. I know we've had a lot of conversations personally about this and you haven't been able to speak about it yet because everything's always very under wraps. This is the grand announcement. Matt is leaving. He's going into the jungle to go and eat some like pig asshole or do something absolutely vile. When we were speaking about it a couple of weeks ago, you've been really kind of like, I guess a bit like apathetic towards the whole thing. But then as of kind of yesterday, I feel like you've gotten more nervous or it's maybe it's sunk in for you. Yeah.

I don't know what it was. I mean, up until now, I guess because December is such a hectic month and you're focused on so many other things that aren't work related. And so even though we did all the promo shots and the promo shoots, so when you see the show start and like the first minute that was all shot, maybe like mid December, even then, I guess maybe I had a moment where I was looking in the mirror and I was wearing, you know my jungle boots my khaki shorts my red shirt and my cubra you sound like a child on the first day of school i was wearing my school uniform and my shiny shoes and my backpack

well literally i took a selfie in the mirror there was a split second where the stylist it's weird that you have a stylist because everyone just wears the same outfit but that stylist must have the cushiest job ever she's very nice some dungarees and it kind of sunk in then but that was only a day shoot and then afterwards it just felt like it was just miles away it felt like it wasn't going to happen. And then recently I've been watching some of the best of on the I'm a Celeb YouTube channel just to kind of get, was that a fart? No, I just moved in my chair. Sorry. And then I don't know what it was two days ago. I just got really nervous. What are you nervous about? I think, I think because this week in particular hasn't been

a super easy week with the kids. Cause we've had a lot of change happening. So are you saying that you're not nervous about anything in the jungle? You're nervous about what's going to happen at home. You're nervous about your car rims, aren't you? You're petrified about the wheels. No, I think it's a very big deal leaving your kids for potentially six weeks. And I guess the thing that's so different about, you know,

we've obviously had moments where both of us have travelled without the children and whatnot before, but potentially six weeks of no contact is a really big deal. Yeah, I think, yeah, the realisation is kind of just it's really just hit home, which is annoying because up until now I've been like, whatever, I don't care. And then all of a sudden, like last night, it took me an hour and a half to get to sleep because I was just thinking about it and I was just like, oh, I hope everything's going to be okay. And then also, you know, when you think about something for so long, it's annoying because you think about all

the good possibilities. And then once you've exhausted that area, you then think about the bad possibilities of, you know, maybe I struggle in the jungle and maybe I don't enjoy it. And then you start to go down a bit of a spiral of worst case scenario and you wig yourself out and so I've kind of now exhausted all possibilities of the jungle right before I leave so now I'm ready but yeah I've just had I guess the realization that you know it might not be all amazing experience what was it like telling the girls that you're leaving because so Matt's known now for a couple of weeks and obviously we've both known for a couple of months but you only recently last week told Marley and Lola? Okay. So when I told Lola, I wasn't expecting much of a reaction because

Lola hates Matt. She doesn't like me at all. It went down literally. It went down exactly as I expected. I was like, look, uh, I've got some news to tell you girls is in the morning. I sat them down and I said, daddy is going to be going away for work for a long time. I'm going to go to africa and lola instantly goes girls day and she's like she did not care at all wouldn't girls day yeah and she was like fuck yeah and marley was like wait where are you going and what's happening but also i now know in hindsight i shouldn't have said africa or mention the show name because she's been telling everyone she's told everyone so marley's just started vacation care at her new school and she's told all the kids she's told all the teachers like

i know that it's it's meant to be like it's meant to be a surprise but 90 of bond i know because of marley may and it's not our fault she's five we can't make her sign an nda embargo this marley she's like my dad's a celebrity everyone i said to the teacher i'm actually going away for work uh next week and she goes oh yeah you're going on i'm a celeb congrats that's awesome I was like, ah. So when we say this is the announcement, yeah, sorry, Channel 10. And then I think, was it you, Laura? Because I wanted to give them a bit of context, you know,

the fact that it's a TV show, you're going to be able to watch Daddy on TV. And then Laura was like, yeah, Daddy's going to eat really disgusting things. No, I raised it with you that I actually think that they'll be quite frightened about it. What did you show them? I haven't shown them anything.

I said to give you some context around it, like they're going to like to know that you're on a TV show. They're going to want to see you. But then if they see you doing a challenge where you're dry reaching or you look uncomfortable or you look in pain, that's going to horrify them. You showed them a clip. You showed them a clip on Instagram and they were like, ah! Was Lola sitting there with popcorn?

Yeah, yeah. Torture him. Look, I want to be very honest because like I am in your camp now. Well, not literally. I'm here. parenting by myself for six weeks but I am in your camp in terms of like supporting you and I will be everybody vote for Maddie J I will be the most annoying person cheerleader on social media however when you told me that you were going to do this I was less than happy and I think that

this has been the only like job or or opportunity I guess you would call it that we have both kind of come to a bit of a headbutt on this because I didn't want you to go I didn't want you to do this I made the mistake, Keish, last year when Brit was on the show and partly because I was very butthurt and I've never been asked after many, many, many, many years. I said to Laura, even if they asked me, I would say no, like I'd never do it. Yeah, he did. So he, firstly, he said that, he said that he would never do the show because it did come from a place of, I think, hurt pride and ego. But also once upon a time when I was entertaining doing the show, you told me you would divorce me if I did it. So I didn't say that. I was pretty, pretty annoyed. I said we'd

have to have a talk. I didn't say the D word. Anyway, look, we've gotten past it now. I definitely have my reservations about it still. Like there's definitely parts of it that I am worried about. I'm worried about the fact that you're just not able to contact the girls, that you're not here. Like you're such a big support person in their life. And also Marley has her first day of school. Lola's just started a new daycare. It's Lola's birthday. Like there are big things that are going to happen in that time, unless you get out first, which you'll be back. It would be so awkward if I'm back here in a week and I'm like, hey. Can I come back on the podcast? I think that that is the big difference because even though you guys have both gone away

for work before, and there's been a couple of days here and there, you FaceTime the girls multiple times a day. This is going to be the first time that you can't contact them at all, right? Yeah, pretty much. I mean, the biggest trip that I've done recently was going to Vegas for work but two things i was busy every day there was lots going on why are you laughing just pictured a thing like the hangover it was very hard gosh very strenuous work but then you know i got to speak to the girls and facetime every day but i do feel that if i do make it towards the end and they had that moment where the family members come into the jungle that if lol is standing there and i'll be like bubba it's me daddy and she's like where like

where's mom i'm fucking over this that she's gonna yeah she's like what do you mean girls day's finished she's not gonna hate this i know that's what i'm feeling like i'm like just don't bring lola she can like he's such a doting dad no look i mean it's fucked it i'll be like i'll be totally honest it is absolutely awful the next few weeks what you have to manage on your own i came to it with like a lot of fear around having to juggle work and juggle the kids not having you there but I kind of felt like I was faced with a bit of an ultimatum like you were already going to do this that wasn't a decision. Have you told Keish what happened with my mum? My mum is a problem solver right my mum lives with us if anyone doesn't know

and at this at this point this is maybe like start of December so it's not locked in we're just talking about like how we would actually make this happen if I wasn't here and I'm in the jungle So I'm talking to my mum because Laura's at work and we're just talking about logistics-wise how it could potentially happen. My mum gets really excited and she runs with this concept and then she also thinks that she's going to help the situation by having it all figured out by the time Laura gets home. So Matt, firstly, he hasn't said yes to the jungle yet

and I'm totally off him doing it. Like we've had a fight about it and I've not even spoken to your mum about it yet. So it was a really weird situation. So Laura comes in the front door after a long day at work and she's met by my mom in the hallway who's like all excited, big grin. And she's like, so Laura, sit down. What's going to happen is that here's the meal plan from Monday to Friday for the kids.

I'm going to be doing drop-offs on these days. My mom also has a bung foot, so she can't walk more than 50 meters without like needing to sit down for a 10 minute rest. And she starts just like spewing out the plan of how it's going to happen. So Ellie, my mum, is just having this verbal diarrhea onto Laura, who also at this point didn't even know that I was definitely doing the show. It's always just been like a maybe it might happen. No, the problem was is that I know you had said yes and you had already.

I hadn't. You had already told your mum how much you wanted to do it. No, I didn't. I didn't. My mum wants me to be on the show more than I want to be on the show. That's not true. Sure. You're both the same.

My mum loves that she has a semi-famous like D-grade celebrity son. I think even just walk past mom as she was mid-sentence Laura looked at me and she's like can you come upstairs now and I was like oh god I look I'd be really really honest about it the thing was is that I felt and this was the big fight that we had I felt really left out of the decision making and I weren't here you're at work that's not true and the reason for that is because and I'm sure we've all done this at different times in our relationships where you're like well I'm just going to explore this thing until I know how I feel about it. And then once I'm certain, I'll tell my partner. But by doing that, it was like Matt had had many interviews. He'd had

conversations with them. A lot had happened. And then I just kind of got told at the pointy end. And so I really felt as though I had been totally left out of something that should have been a team decision. I didn't realize that it was important, Keish, that I had an interview with the executive producer and casting director of the series and i didn't tell laura that that had taken place so he's trying to make out that it's just maybe a possibility and then i find out i've got my visa approved yellow fever vaccine he's literally got it yeah he's got his medical check anyway look we've we've gotten through the trenches of that um just before we move on if laura had all these hesitations what was it in you that was like not is it that it's a new challenge like what was it

that made you go. It's probably the same reason why he did that 16 kilometer run per day. I was like, what are you running from? I just need a break. Okay. Yeah. I just wanted to have some time away from Lola. Poor Lola. She's the best. I love her so much. She's the best. I think it's a combination of the fact that everyone who I know who's gone on the show has come off the back of it and been like, it was an incredible experience. And I think if I'm an old man, I'm a grandpa and I'm sitting there amongst all the grandkids and they go, Papa, and they say, can you tell us about that time that you survived for six months in the African jungle eating nothing but giraffe anus?

And I can go gather around my children and listen to a tale. And that will be a legacy piece for me. That's what you're going to be remembered for in our family. Yeah. I'm like a war hero, essentially. Same. It's a story that we pass down from generation to generation. You lost a great uncle in Papua New Guinea in the war.

In World War II. And we still talk about him. Great Uncle Jack, shout out to him. Incredible. And now we're going to talk about your contribution to humanity. I'm on that same page. Imagine, imagine in like a hundred years time, people are doing The Family Tree and they're like, oh my God.

Like, what is it? Great Uncle Matty J was acting in I'm a Celebrity in 2025. And he ate an asshole. Tears streaming down the face. Like, wow. That's why I want to do the show. Because I really want giraffe anus. How else are you going to get it?

So bad. It's pretty rare. Oh, it looks delicious. I know I've said it a few times. I am like, I'm your biggest cheerleader now. I am full supportive. We've come full circle. I know it's probably hard to believe after I've complained a few times already on this

podcast episode, but- And you know what's going to happen? Wait, no. What I was going to say before is that I was faced with an ultimatum. The ultimatum was you were going to do it anyway. And so I had the choice to be resentful and be mad about it or to go, okay, it's six weeks it is going to be challenging for both of us could be two could be two it could be one who knows but i really want you to do well and if you're going to go and do it like i want you to

go and win so everybody all the lifers gather around that is such a like no pressure on you listening right now but please vote it's all on you i want my husband to be gone for as long as possible and and this is a good thing because so does lola because next year 2026 i guarantee Laura will be in the jungle. There's no way. It won't happen. That's what I said. All right. Well now with the very big news out of the way, I wasn't joking before. Matt is trying to get me pregnant before he leaves. So, hey, that's a question for you. If it happens, if I do get pregnant from all of the attempts that you've now put in, do you want to know, like, how would you want me to tell you? Would you want me to tell you in the jungle? Would you

want me to tell everyone on the podcast first, and then it would be a surprise for you when you come back. I think tell the podcast listeners first. I'm totally fine with that. How I would like to find out if I make it this far in the jungle, there's, I don't know what part, maybe it's like past the halfway mark, Sandra Sully, who I love. Big fan of Sandra Sully. I know you are. Thank you. No, it's like, he's like weirdly a fan, like to the point where I think you have a crush on Sandra Sully. I do. I get so starstruck every time I bump into her anywhere. Anyway, love Sandra. She does a bulletin report and does a little update on everyone's lives. And I would love her to announce it to me. Okay. Hey, I'm so confused. We spent weeks and weeks and weeks

talking about the fact that Laura wanted to have a third child, another baby, and Matt wasn't on board. He just wanted to cap it at two. So this was his bargaining chip. I'm pretty sure. Because Now he's fully on board and he's been trying to impregnate me. I mean, it's like signing up for a marathon, okay? You think it's going to be exciting. You're like, oh, my God, what an experience. I'm going to embark on this great journey. You know that during the marathon it's going to be fucking hell,

but once you get to the finish line, you look back and go, I'm so glad I did that. That's parenting. It really is parenting. And then it's like getting that cup of water every so often as you're running, which just feels really good. every so often your kid tells you they love you yeah you have these moments of like that's nice like peppered three or four times throughout the race you're like this is really good followed by

like ah fucking kill me that is parenting and i think when we're 70 laura and we're like full of wrinkles and gray hairs we'll be like oh i'm so glad that you let me impregnate you that third time i'm glad i'm glad you feel like that would you like me to leave the room we need let's try had sex last night. We did last night. Another time. Literally, as we were having sex, Matt goes, are you just trying to get pregnant? And I was like, potentially. No. Are you? Yes. I can't tell. I'm like, does she enjoy the sex or does she just want to get pregnant? I'm not quite sure. I feel so good. I feel so good. Just come now. Get it done. It's been 30 seconds. It's enough. Well, now that we've gotten that out of the way, it is time to answer some of your questions. Like I said,

we're going to answer the questions first that you asked directly about us as a couple, and then we'll answer some of the questions that are about you and tell you how you could potentially fix your life so you could be a hot mess like us. All right, question number one. I don't know how you're going to feel about this one. Is Laura the breadwinner and how do you feel about that? It's a double-edged sword because my inner insecurities

flare up sometimes and I'm like, I'm the man in the relationship and I should be in charge of earning all the money. but then at the same time i'm like it's also amazing how successful you have been across all businesses that you look after so i think sometimes if i'm talking to somebody else who's in a more of a traditional relationship where the man is making the money and the wife is a stay-at-home mom and i talk about what i do looking after the kids with daycare drop-offs and pickups and they're like why do you do that and i'm like yeah i shouldn't be there picking up the kids from daycare. I should be there in an office, bossing people around. I feel like a

little, like I'm weak. You still have a career. You still have a great job. I just have multiple businesses and maybe that's like giving too much away of like our personal lives. But Tony May for me has been a business that's been existing for 16 years. And you know, we have such a big distribution chain now. So like, it's funny because public facing Life Uncut and radio and stuff is seemingly my number one, but I would say financially, Tony May is my number one. So that might be surprising to some people and probably, like I said, more information than anyone really requires or needs, but we've worked so hard for so many years to make that business what it is. And I'm really proud of it. Matt, can I, and please only share what you're comfortable

with, but you just, what you just said was that you feel a bit weak. Do you think that that's internal or do you think that that's only when you're like talking to other people? Like, do you actually feel that? Well, I think we're the last generation where our parents were very traditional in the sense that men worked and a wife would stay at home with the kids. I've been conditioned to think that's what's the norm, which is not, it shouldn't be like that. And so I think, I mean, it is the norm and it has been the norm for so long. It has, but I do think that we live in a generation now where female entrepreneurs are having their moment and there are some really incredible female entrepreneurs that really have carved out like a financial shift in relationships.

I think about people like Brittany Saunders. I think about people like Steph Clare-Smith, Laura Henshaw, Kira Rumble, who owns the health food brand. There are so many examples of this now and I think it has changed hugely, but I, yeah, I don't know. I definitely don't see myself as the breadwinner in our relationship because you bring so much to the table financially and also in terms of like our family dynamics. I bring a little bit. I'm like the little entree and Laura's serving the main dish. I'm so proud and, you know, it's amazing to be doing what we're doing now. I'm like, fuck yeah, get it, girl.

Make more money. All right, this is not a question. However, Maddie J, you are so sexy and that's come from a person named Alyssa underscore O'Neil. You know what? I agree. Every question is anonymous for that one. Well, I mean, I feel like she wrote this is not a question

and questions always remain anonymous. But I think you should know that people out there think that you are so sexy. That's my mum. My mum has definitely got a fake account and she submitted that. Because in contrast to that, I got a question being like, for God's sake, cut off your mo, it's disgusting. My third question is, is when will you get rid of your moustache?

Well, I only kept it because you wanted it. Laura likes it. I love it, guys. I'm not a moustache gal. I hate it when my boyfriend has his moustache. I think he deliberately shaves it in now because it kind of irks me. Well, actually, it took a bit of approval from the powers that be for I'm a celeb to keep the moustache.

Oh, they didn't want it? Yeah, it had to go up the chain and I was waiting there with bated breath. What a weird thing to have to have approved. Because imagine if I was like, I'm not shaving my legs and they were like, we've got to approve that. But for a man, you have to have your facial hair approved? Do you know what it might be? Because they can show footage from the start journey where you look a bit clean cut and then by the end where you look like you've come out of a cave like Gollum. But you're going in looking like you came out of a cave.

Thank you. And she says she likes it. sexy i i personally love the mustache which is weird for me because growing up my dad always had one so every so often i'm like terry burn vibes daddy issues but i don't like it when it gets too long because then it makes kissing really uncomfortable because whiskers go straight up your nose and it's very odd i'll get rid of it after the show okay next question how early on in the batch season did you know that i was the person you were going to choose is that from you no it really isn't uh pretty early on pretty pretty like i mean i the first time i met you

on that red carpet i was thinking oh my gosh this girl woman i thought she was just everything that i'd ever wanted i was just so nice then you got to know me and you were like what a hot man i better just kiss 30 other people just to make sure and then what happened 14 i'm sure i told do this, Laura, but Keish, what happens at the cocktail parties is that because there's maybe eight to 12 cameras on set, right? And they actually, you talk to people in blocks of three or four. And then after that chat of those, those people, you then go back, have another debrief with producers. And what you actually do is map out who and where you're going to have conversations. Obviously, if someone bails you up and says, Hey, let's chat here. You always say yes,

but the camera guys kind of need to know when we chat here, we're going to reposition to here. So there's a bit of a plan of attack. And the very first conversation that I was going to have after I'd entered the mansion, it was a cocktail party had just begun. They said, who will be the first girl you talk to? And they also say, don't speak to the ones that you really want to speak to at the start, you know, pepper them out throughout the evening. So you still have things that you look forward to. And I said, I'll speak to Laura, maybe like fourth or fifth. and then as I was about to start my first conversation I saw Laura in the corner of my eye and I just went Laura let's talk and the camera guys were like where the fuck what are we doing

where's Laura and they kind of said to me don't ever like deviate from the plan always stick to the plan but I was just instantly I was like I've got to speak to Laura again every every day I was like I need to speak to I want to see Laura if there was a group date where Laura got kicked out early on I'd go and have a hissy fit and like cross my arms and be upset I actually had forgotten that we were the first that I spoke to you first I forgot about that but I do remember that on like group dates and stuff there was like one group date in particular where I got kicked out like very first and then randomly I was like eating my lunch and you came over and we had like solo time together and I just thought it was because like I'd gotten kicked out in a kind of

an unfair way and so I thought that you were like coming over to like make sure that everything was fine but then i found out later down the track that was because you'd had a tanny and you were like i'm gonna go and fucking talk to laura and now like okay we've got to make up a reason for why it makes sense for matt to talk to laura after she got evicted so they made up this weird reason i'm so obviously so grateful that we met very happy for the family and everything else that we've had that's come from it goes without saying but when you think about it's kind of like when you say something bad about parenting and then you're like i have to be you have to front load with how much I love being a mum when you think about how emotionally manipulative it is to other

people and how like really cruel that is to the other women who I was one of you know it's not until after the fact looking back I go oh that was really fucked because it could have been me who was the one who was you know emotionally manipulated in a negative way but it's it's a it's a cruel platform like it's really mean but we ended up together we have a family we're married yay Yay! Also, everyone knows what they're signing up for. And also The Bachelor doesn't exist anymore, so no one cares. It's fine.

And everyone has gone on to bigger and better. Most people from our season are married with kids now. And to those who aren't, we're praying for you, fingers crossed. That's really mean. There's nothing wrong with being single. Maybe they chose it. Maybe they're happier being single. Totally fine.

Enjoy your cats. Can I just say this? I went to radio around the time that you guys were batched, right? You're fucked. You're getting yourself cancelled. I used to think of Matt as the most straighty 180, a little bit vanilla if I'm being harsh. How dare you?

So did I. Version of a person. And when I met you, like, actually in real life, I was like, he has the darkest sense of humour. You're so much funnier than I anticipated. And I really didn't, like, a part of my job is to try and not let us get cancelled, but you are the flight risk in the team. I agree.

Matt really walks the line sometimes with what is and isn't PC appropriate in terms of his humour. And so when you said you were going to do the celebrity, I was like, I can't protect you. We can't edit that. I can't edit you on live TV. I can bite my tongue for five weeks maybe, any longer, and it's going to unravel.

You're a funny guy. You're a funny guy, Matt. You're a funny guy. Thank you, I think. All right, okay. Are you friends with any of your exes? Yeah, still on good terms with a few of them. I don't really have any exes that I'm on really bad terms with.

These days, I don't have time for friends, to be honest. I mean, I've become a bit of a loser in my old age. It's actually really shit. I mean, I know that we talk about it a lot on the podcast around like female friendships and how like this stage of life often requires so much of you that you don't have as much free time to put into your friendships. You know, obviously everyone is different, but for me, it's something I've struggled with.

You have had this same struggles, I think. And I've seen a lot of your friends move back to Queensland and it can become all consuming being a parent of little kids. And also those who don't have kids when they message on the weekend to hang out and they're like, do you want to do something? And I'm like, we go to the playground and they're like, I would rather eat my own fingernails. Yeah. I guess that's why people say it can be really challenging to maintain friendships when you're

in different stages of life, especially if friends are still partying when you can't be partying because you don't want to wake up hungover on the weekend. Your interests kind of change a little bit as well. And that makes it really tricky. Weekends are for the kids. Yeah, it really is. I actually have a question. Yeah.

If I may. Knowing what you know now as a parent of two girls, would you do anything differently? Would I do anything differently? I think that's a tricky one because I think that we're always moderating our parenting styles. Like I think we're always learning and improving the way that we parent. I probably wouldn't do anything differently in the way I parent but I would definitely have a lot more peace of mind around the start of when Lola was born because I just have this

memory of the night that Lola was born and the next day when I came home from hospital sitting next to the bed thinking oh my god we've ruined our life and I was so sad that first six weeks was so hard and I wish that I had kind of known how great it was going to be and I keep reminding myself of that because I had these moments where I'm like, oh my God, maybe number three, if it happens, will be a terrible, terrible idea. And I'm like, yeah, probably will be for like two months. And then we'll, we'll start to find our way through the forest again. So I think that is probably the first thing that comes to mind, nothing specifically around changing my parenting style. What would you do differently? This is going to sound really stupid potentially,

but my relationship with Marley and Lola are very, very different in that my interaction with Lola is purely just playtime. I do it. There's moments, really brief moments. I'd say like 5% of the time we have a little cuddle, but it's minimal. Yeah. She doesn't go to you for comfort. She goes to you for roughhousing and playing. Yeah. Like if we're at the beach, for example, and she wants to go and jump in the waves, it's the only time that she goes, mommy, no, I want daddy. And that's really great. I love that. But then at the same time, you know, she, last night she woke up at midnight screaming. I went into the room and she looked at me and went, ah, not you. Where's my mother? And like, that really hurts. And I sometimes wonder if I wasn't

affectionate enough with her when she was a baby, you know, when Marley was, was so young and it was just her, we had so much time cuddling and Marley loves to cuddle with me and Laura. And I think maybe it's a result of the fact that I didn't have enough one-on-one cuddling time with Lola. I mean, look, this is probably an interesting thing. If number three happens, I think I became the default parent with Lola because she cried a lot and was quite tricky and she settled easily when she was on me in a carrier, but she probably would have settled just as easy on you in a carrier. But I just seemed to always be the one that did it or kind of got stuck with it. I have a memory of her like just hating being held by me.

Yeah, maybe. I mean, maybe it's, I can't, I honestly can't remember. Maybe it's always been the case. It's also such a hard question to ask yourself because it could just be that she's just like that, like, you know, that she's just not going to be an affectionate person. Or it could just be that I'm better. Oh my God. I was hoping that Laura would go, no, my gosh, no, it's so silly.

Don't think that. And Laura's like, yeah, probably. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, you fucked up. No, I, what I'm saying is, is I do agree with that. I think that we could do things differently if we had a third around like more evenly distributing the load, because I think what happened is we had them so close together. Marley was still a baby herself and I didn't have time for two babies. So a hundred percent or like 90% of my attention went to Lola, a hundred percent

of your attention went to Marley. And then I was like, had that little bit of split between the too. And I think that that is kind of why the bond with Lola is so strong. And it's something that you guys have to work on in terms of like your emotional connection rather than just your play connection. That was a real therapy session for us. I'm trying. Lola, let me in. God damn it. You have been trying for a while. Thank you. Do you think there is always one person who loves the other person more in a relationship? Yes. Yes. I think there's always going to be a bit of a push and pull in any relationship. And I think it changes. It's transient, right? I think at this moment right now, I love you a bit more than you love me.

Oh, why would you say that? Because I'm leaving you. Yet maybe there's a fraction of a second when the love is equal, but I think there's always someone who's in the wrong as well. No, there's not. There's not always someone who's in the wrong. What? Because I scratched the wheels today. yes yeah sure no i i agree i agree i think that it's a scale right like the intensity of your feelings are a scale it's a seesaw i definitely don't think that you necessarily your love like a deep love and respect for each other is mismatched i think that that is always the

base of that foundation needs to be the same yeah for the longevity but i think that the more sort of like fleeting excitement towards each other shifts dependent on hormones like what the other person's done, work, how much sleep you've had. Like loads of those things impact the way that you feel about someone right in that very moment. And there's definitely times where I think I've loved you more than you love me. And there's definitely times where I'm like, oh, like last night, Keish. That is so clingy. I was so tired coming into bed. I was ready to go to sleep. And Laura was ready to go to Poundtown. Thank you for that. No one needs to know. And I was like, I've got the ticket, but I don't really want to hop on the Poundtown bus.

But you were happy that you went for the tourist drive, didn't you? Yeah, but Laura's like, just sit down and go for a scenic drive and we'll see how it goes. It's one of those things that even if you're not in the mood, if you just let yourself, you always get in the mood. Keisha's like, not really. It's like exercise. Putting on your shoes and putting on your clothes and all that,

that's the hardest part. Once you're actually going, you're like, that's not too bad. Yeah, it's exactly that. Yeah, so look, I was more enthusiastic last night. But when I'm talking about love, I'm actually not talking about sex. I'm not talking about sex drives. I'm talking about like that sort of like, oh, I just want to cuddle you and kiss you and like be on your person.

That's the beginning of sex. Oh, not always. Not always. Pretty much. This right here is like the men is from Venus, women are from Mars situation. If we ever cuddle and kiss, that means Laura would like to have sex. It's true. Laura's like, no, what are you talking about?

Do you have any other questions that came in for me or for you or for us? uh someone wrote in and said have any of you had botox my partner and i are thinking about it and laura funny timing because your face is currently chock-a-block full of it guys i had not had botox in so long and now i feel like a fraud because i told you last year i kind of wasn't doing it for a while sorry the funniest thing that happened i think this would be a year and a half ago now was that i was talking about filler and i did go through a period where i got too much i recognize that and Laura was like I haven't had I haven't had filler I haven't and I was like isn't that profilo thing that you get and you were like no it's not filler and I ended up googling it and

I was like it's the fucking same chemical it's just put in it a different way no it's not the same it's it's hyaluronic acid yeah it's the same chemical but the actual compound of it and what it does to your face and skin is very different so I don't know if anyone has tried profilo yeah I have yeah profilo is they call it a skin booster but it's made from the same stuff that dermal fillers is made from. It's a hyaluronic acid, which is basically just what draws water and moisture into your skin. But Profilo doesn't change the structure of your face at all. You can't have it like filler. You can't, if you put Profilo on your lips, it's not going to make your lips bigger. It's not going to make your cheeks bigger. Currently I have swelling because I

actually had it yesterday. So my cheeks probably do look bigger, but trust me, they won't stay like this. I've got two big like sores on either side of my face. I went and got Botox and I went and got profilo. However, it's kind of pathetic and sad the reasons why I got it. There were some really unflattering Daily Mail photos that came out of me where I literally looked like a 70-year-old man holding a boogie board over my head. Laura the hench. I came home. It was me walking up ahead with like Marley and Laura had like the body board, the pram. She had like a grand piano that she was lugging with us as well. Like the paps, I mean, it's happened quite a bit recently. You don't know they're there they take photos from within the car like you just don't know that

they're following you and they're following your family which is fucking weird you look great in this photo this might be a bit conspiracy theory of me but i do actually think that they purposely choose the worst photos because that so i mean we walked from our house to the beach went to the beach for 40 minutes and then walked home that sequence of photos was taken from the moment we left our house to the moment we got back to our house so that paparazzi had followed us like discreetly we did not know he was there for almost two hours and then the photos that he has chosen or daily mail has selected are literally the worst photos of me that have ever been taken and it's because it rage baits people like the headline is like look at like laura glowy toned

whatever the fuck it is it's like insinuating that i look great knowingly that they've chosen photos where I look not great in to try and get people to be like, oh my God, what are you talking about? She looks hideous. It's actually so fucking cruel and fucked up the way that it works. It's Laura there dragging a boulder with a big rock. That's the facial expression that she's pulling. And I think it was gorgeous. I actually like to get serious for a second. I truly do not know how being a paparazzi is a legal job. Your actual job is to go and stalk people, take photos of it to show other people. If you were to do that to like a random person in their home you'd be arrested yeah like it's harassment I just I actually don't understand

especially when there are kids involved I get even more fired up about it I don't understand how we don't have more rules and regulations about it it's so strange it's a really tricky one and I think the reason for that is that the lines are so blurred because so many people work with photographers and they work with paparazzi so I think that there's this overarching belief that if you're someone in the media that you must be in cahoots with paparazzi and I can deeply like, and I know that there will be people who don't believe this. And I know that there's been things written otherwise, but hand on my heart, swear on my life. We have never worked with paparazzi. We just don't. So in the moments when they take photos of us, it's because there

are always paps down at Bondi beach. It's just a real hotspot for it, but I don't expect them to follow me from my house. I don't expect them to just be waiting there to get photos of the kids. Like it's, that's weird to me. And it's so weird. It's different when we put photos of our kids online or we put photos of our kids on our social media, it's curated. We've chosen photos that we think are appropriate of them, photos that we think they're covered. We can make the decision as to how much of them is or isn't appropriate to share. But when it's just some fucking dude in a hoodie hiding in a bush, it's very invasive. His name's Glenn, by the way. Yeah, I definitely feel weird about it, but I think it also, the blurred lines and the tricky

part of it is that it's part and parcel of wanting to have a career in media so that I don't think that you can completely shit on it when there's so many benefits of the job and like having that visibility. Yeah. Now that I've said what I've said, they're probably going to take the worst photos ever. Anytime I'm with any of you guys. If you ever move house, Keish, they'll be like, there she is, quick, get her. All right. Look, now we have time to answer a couple of the questions that you have asked about your lives, about yourselves, as we would normally do on an Ask uncut. Sorry, hang on. Matt, have you had Botox? Oh yeah. I have once. I have once. Yeah. It was before I went on The Bachelorette, which was maybe nine years ago. And a friend of mine worked in

cosmetics and I went to his house and this is a week or so before the show was about to start filming. And he looked at my face and said, Ooh, got a couple of little wrinkles coming through this and crow's feet. And he goes, you want to fix that right up before they start filming. I took his advice and I went, yeah, you're right. I probably should fix that up. And he goes, I've got some vials in the fridge. I'll give you a little top up. I was like, give me a top up. I'm like, can you still get his number?

Which friend is this? So if you look at the first like two weeks of The Bachelorette, my face doesn't move at all. That's so funny. Also, you were so young. I look at those photos of you on The Bachelorette and you are a baby and parenting has fucking weathered us if you look at those Daily Mail photos of me.

I'm literally standing there holding a dummy in a nappy and I'm like, not me, with Botox in my face. All right. Answering your questions now. I had unprotected sex after a wedding with another guest and have since found out I am pregnant. Whilst the guy is really lovely, it's not a long-term match given locations, jobs. And so I'm planning on having a termination. Matt, this question is for you. Would you want to know if you were in this situation and should I tell him? And if so, if I do tell him, what's the best way to do so? I think you'd tell him, right?

Wouldn't you want to know? This is a question for a man to answer, and then I will give my opinion. I mean, ignorance is bliss, right? You know, what you don't know can't hurt you. But I just think maybe if there's a situation where that person really wants to become a dad, is absolutely wholeheartedly going to throw everything behind becoming a father. And if he finds out that, oh, Chantel actually got pregnant when you had sex, and she got rid of the baby, it was terminated.

I don't know that guy might think I'm entitled to have an opinion on what happens to that baby well that guy would be very wrong because he doesn't get an opinion on someone else's body but he also he contributed though to that baby being made he contributed sperm feel differently about this I don't think that you owe him the necessity of telling him I think you can make whatever decision you want for yourself I would only tell him if it's something that you felt like you needed to do but I kind of think you've made up your mind you know you don't want a single parent and at the moment this is not a baby like it has all of the parts to potentially become that but you've decided that that is not what you want so I don't know I kind of think that you could

then get yourself into a situation where you have someone trying to change your mind or you have someone trying to guilt you into doing something that's not what's right for you right for your body right for the life that you want to live and so I kind of think that it's a decision that you can make yourself and if you don't want to tell a one-night stand you don't have to tell a one-night stand I kind of sit somewhere in the middle closer to Laura but I can understand where you're coming from Matt and I think interestingly in these types of situations you can really attack it from two directions one is like you can think about the morals behind it and the ethics behind it and what you should do and what you shouldn't do or you can think about it logically and the fact is is that

You're not going to change your mind. The outcome is going to be the same whether you tell them or not. So like I then ask a follow-up question of like what are you trying to gain by telling them? You know, why do you feel like you have to if it's not going to impact your decision whatsoever or, you know, you don't really think that you're ever going to have contact with this person again?

And sometimes I think it's just a little bit we can get a little bit caught up in the emotion behind like moral and ethical questions that we have within ourselves. And often I just go if you're able to park that, just do what's easiest logically for you, which in this situation, I think is, is not saying anything. Yeah. And I also, you know what, I take it back. I probably should have been less harsh on you then Matt. You're a very smart man. Thank you. That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. I think it's because I worry that for someone who has gotten pregnant on a one night stand,

if you're prioritizing that one night stands opinion on what you should do, I just don't think that that opinion has as much weight as what you want to do with your body and what with what's happening with you and for you and for the rest of your life because you know they might say that they've wanted to have a baby this whole time but it's not your responsibility to give them that and I think that the impact that having a child has on a woman and on their life is so much greater than the impact that it has on the dad of a one-night stand is it though well I'm just That was a joke? That was a joke?

It depends on how hands-on that man wants to be. But I think the statistics would show that her life would be forever changed and his life probably wouldn't be that changed except he's got a kid in the mix. It is extremely unfair, the process of making a child when you compare men and women. I remember seeing a video in my mum's closet of a woman giving birth. I must have been about 12. My sister was like, you want to see something fucked up? I was like, sure.

It would have been a birthing video for training. Matt's mum had five children, so she probably had a birthing video. It was like a midwife or obstetrician narrating the process of what was happening as a child. I love that Kate's like, come here. And I remember watching it and thinking, I am so grateful that that is something that I never, ever have to ever go through myself personally.

I'm curious about, you know, you said, I think I would want to know though. Why? Yeah, why? And I'm not asking that in an accusatory way. like why do you think you would want to know because if it's something that you wanted or maybe something that you felt guilty about because you didn't use contraception or what like to me I'm like the only emotion that could come from that is a negative one I don't really see how it could be a positive emotion especially knowing that she is absolutely certain that she's going

to have a termination yeah in that case to me it makes sense and I'm not saying that if it was me I would want to know I just thought potentially in that situation there may be someone that would would want to know I don't know I just thought if there was a situation where down the line six months if it somehow got out and someone mentioned to the guy hey you know so-and-so had an abortion didn't you guys have that one night stand that you know that night if that person would then feel like they have been let down by not being involved in that conversation and being completely removed from the decision process I understand why they would do that I just I'm kind of playing devil's advocate there and how that person would feel. Yeah. And maybe they would like to be a part of

the support around that process. I don't know. I don't know if it's a case of opens a can of worms, but if you would say to that person, Hey, this has happened. This is how I'm going to handle the situation. I just wanted to let you know. Question number three, my husband and I have been together for eight years. We don't have kids, but have been through some major life obstacles in the past few years, both to do with our careers as doctors and a change in work and life balance. We are balancing working long days, having opposing days off and having to study outside of work for exams, etc. to advance our careers. Our sex life has suffered hugely and now it feels like more of a chore these days. On the rare occasion that we do get intimate,

I have found that I am disinterested in the act altogether, including doing anything sexual on my own. This is not the first time in a relationship that sex has dwindled for me over time and I'm starting to wonder if I had the capability to sustain sexual lust in a long-term relationship. I think what she's saying there is that basically this exact thing has happened before. Is this possible or is what I am experiencing common or am I the problem? There's always going to be, from a guy's perspective, there's always going to be a tapering off of sexual drive when you compare the start of a relationship to six months into to a year, to two years. But I guess I'm fortunate in that my sex drive has always been pretty

consistent. There's definitely periods where it's not a priority in the relationship. I look back to when Lola was born and we definitely weren't having any sex at all because we just didn't have time for it. Well, I'm trying to think back to how we improve that sex drive for each other and how we kind of got back on that horse for want of a better phrase. I don't know if it was just a case of we were just able to start dedicating more time to each other I think it's tricky when you deprioritize something so much that it's now non-existent or if you are so overworked overstressed have such conflicting schedules with your partner that there is no intimacy and I'm not talking about sex I'm talking about the small intimate acts that lead to having all the ingredients

to make you want to have sex with your partner right like it's hard to go from nothing to then having someone penetrate you and being like, oh yeah, I'm enjoying this. I guess what I'm saying is that I can completely understand how you get to a point where you're not interested in sex at all. And it's because as Esther Perel would say, foreplay starts the time that sex ends. So like when you've just finished the last time you've had sex, all of the small things that you do for each other, all of the things that make you feel as though your partner cares about you, is thinking about you, that makes you feel desirable, that makes them feel desirable. All that stuff is what creates lust and is what creates the chemistry to make you want to have sex with your partner

so if you have absolutely none of that then I don't think it is surprising that you're not having good sex or having sex in a way that actually feels as though it's fulfilling for you and kind of feels like you're just fulfilling an obligation when you say am I the problem kind of makes me think that there's a bit of a of guilt attached to it like yes you're in this situation but you feel bad that you're in this situation and you know that it's not the right thing for you and your partner. But I kind of think that priorities have to shift a little bit or making time for each other, or what are the small changes that you can make that can kind of get you back onto the path of being able to feel intimate, not just around sex,

but around everything else. Can I ask you besides the obvious, which is doing the laundry and doing the kitchen, are there any things that I do in particular that improve your sex drive? I love that it's doing the laundry and cleaning the kitchen because we always joke about that but are there any things in particular outside of those really obvious tasks that I behave in a certain way that you notice an improvement of your sex drive to be fair I think that the things the things that make me want to have sex with you are very different now to what they were when we first started dating what are they now when we first started dating you just being like hot and glistening in the sunshine would make me want to have sex with you that doesn't looks like I just

used to stand out in the garden with like covered in oil pretty much laura come and get me the amount of photos i have with you of your shirt off like from that time like those things like like there was a high sense of desire then right i don't have that same level of like oh i just want to rip your clothes off and like and that's because like you you're always you're always there like i can do that at any time but the things that make me want to have sex with you are when you do stuff that lightens my load that sounds so weird but it's true like when you organize stuff in the house when you've like taken care of the kids when you've done like when the house is clean and I know that that's a really dumb thing but like when things are organized and everything

else just feels like it's not screaming at me then I'm like oh okay well we've got time to do it now and I'm sure there's people out there who would say like well you should just prioritize it regardless but like for me sex kind of feels like it's fun time you know like that's like that I don't know how to describe this I know what I'm trying to say but I don't know how to describe this like I don't want to fuck in a dirty house right I don't want to have sex when everything's disorganized I don't want to have sex when I feel as though there's so many other things on my mind on the to-do list I could have sex in a dumpster so when the to-do list is done and I feel like the mental load is clear then I feel as though I have the capacity to feel

desirable or have desire all those sort of things the only thing I think that increases my sex drive though it makes me feel more like okay let's go for gold is when I have time to exercise and that sometimes is tricky I don't always have time to exercise so sometimes it's more a me thing than a what can you do to fix the problem but also and this is probably going to be too much information for you please don't be offended by this and I wonder if you feel the same sometimes yeah every so often because sometimes I'm just not in the mood right like my drive my sex drive is nowhere near what it used to be at all and it comes down to being busy with work and everything else i'm nervous and sometimes i'll be like we're gonna do it like it's it's time we gotta have sex

and so like at the start i'm a bit like all right let's have sex now but hear me out as soon as we start doing it i'm like fuck yeah like i'm so glad like it's the exercise thing i'm like i'm so glad that we're doing this but i don't always feel that leading up to it i'd always feel as though We're like, yes, I'm ready to have sex. Do you know what she says, Keish? She's like, all right, we'll hop on top. Start cuddling and kissing me. Esther Perel refers to this as maintenance sex.

She says it's really important. But I don't, I know it sounds like a negative and it doesn't sound hot and it doesn't sound sexy. But for me, it's like I don't want to go. I know that you would argue differently to this. Matt has this like he has this sex blindness. So he thinks we have sex once a week. he thinks it's like once every two weeks so if it's been a week without us having sex he's like

oh we haven't had sex for a month like he literally has this irrational blindness around it so pretty much if we're getting to the one week mark and if i'm not in the mood i'm like oh it's come on suck it up laura like it's time we're gonna do this can i ask something really stupid and this is off the back of the conversation that we had recently with my sister and people might think it's weird that we're having these types of conversations with my family members but at what point of your cycle are you most horny when you're ovulating yeah okay so like for example what I don't want anyone to kind of misconstrue and not that anyone cares that deeply about this but like it's not like that all the time like I'm not like always going oh it's time to roll over and have sex with

my husband that's probably like once a month that I'm doing that kind of like okay it's time and I'm not really that super into it but I'll get into it it's fine well this will be good but 90% of the time it's because I I'm excited about it wow that's so much sharing and also another question did you did you have sex with me last night because I cooked dinner and cleaned the kitchen yes did you yeah but also the other thing is we need to go to bed earlier I hate going to bed late and it being like 11 o'clock and then trying to have sex like we're late hours we stay out doing work that's not conducive to a good sex life for us because we're also out the door early for work and then we have your mother living with us so we need to go to bed at like 9 30 to be able

to like have like excitable decent length of time sex you know what I think is another absolute killer and I might be projecting here but it's also the guilt like nothing makes you feel less like having sex than feeling guilty about the fact that you haven't had sex you know what I mean that's kind of like a spiral where you're just like oh I know I should be urging myself to just want this and feel it and I feel bad about that because you know we haven't and then you start doing the math of how long it's been and you're like oh now it's just been so long that maybe I just feel bad about that like do you know what I mean I think it just gets worse and worse than when she said like am I the problem I'm like well kind of your lifestyle is the problem and

and maybe it's this it sounds like your partner's lifestyle is the same so like making yourself feel guilty about it is probably the worst thing to do I agree very much putting my hand in the air and saying I need to take my own advice yeah I agree completely and I think that it's so easy to deprioritize it and it's so easy to be like well I guess it's just my sex drive but I would urge everyone who is feeling like that in their relationships to look at the other factors that have reduced desire, because I guarantee there will be, they will be there. Like maybe your partner drinks too much. Maybe he goes out with the boys too much. Maybe the house is a fucking mess. Maybe you guys are working too much. Like there's always other factors that impact

because like the longer you've been with someone, the more that they're just always there, the less they are an absolute priority because you're not worried about, okay, when's the next time I'm going to see them like you know this is so exciting so you kind of have to work really hard to maintain that and yeah and I think for me the when it's lacking and has been lacking for any sort of duration I know it's because I'm so overworked I know it's because we're both maintaining crazy schedules and something has to change for me or I'm not exercising and that's like a really big one too um I feel like I've learned more from this question than the listener has yeah yeah sorry about that no I'm like what tell me more I need to tell the men about this

that's like next week on two dating dads ash get this ovulating clean the house clean the house and track a cycle that's about it i think about that though i think it's because we see and i say we stereotypically i think we see sex as something that can only be done when the because it's kind of related to productivity if you're prioritizing sex over having a clean house you're just going to have sex and then still have a super dirty house so for me it's about getting every like you said getting everything off the task list so that you can have that mental freedom to be like whoa it's fun time you know whenever you try to go and have fun on a weekend or something but you've got x amount of work to get through you feel guilty about it because you're like I should be

actually dedicating this time to the work but I'm out here having fun and it's kind of all you think about rather than just having the freedom to be like whoa absolutely and there's this I mean I know you mentioned it with like the whole Esther Perel maintenance sex but there is a lot of research in the fact that actions precede feelings. So like often we wait for the feeling to do something. Like I'm going to wait until I feel like having sex. I'm going to wait till I feel desirable and you're never going to feel it, right? Like that feeling doesn't just spontaneously come to you. You have to do the things, like you have to get yourself up off the couch. You have to put your phone down. You have to like initiate some sort of seductiveness with your partner, initiate

the things whatever it looks like to you that would actually inspire sex because like it's not just going to spontaneously happen and then once you've gone through those sort of like rote motions then the feelings come and I know that some people can be like oh like but I'm not going to do something if I don't want to do it I'm absolutely not advocating for that but what I am saying is like at least fucking give it a red hot crack and then you can say you didn't feel like doing it if you run around doing everything else and the huge mental list that you have there is no wonder that like it hasn't just spontaneously come to you see men are different though because i feel like doesn't matter how long that list is having sex is still always going to be enough to cut through

and be a priority i think for men if they have a drop in their sex drive i'm going to generalize here and i'm going to put it down to the fact that i guarantee they are masturbating way too much going back to masturbating one thing now that we're on the topic what was the one question that you asked about the jungle so still fair quiche when we did the big shoot for the promos and all the pictures and everything else at the end of that session they then sit down with the big dogs the executive producer and you know those who are like top of the food chain in charge of putting the show together and they say we're so excited to have you on the show it's going to be a great season blah blah blah do you have any questions at all and i was like uh and i was like

oh oh you know oh you know when do i have to keep my phone away okay answered that one and i thought going to ask another question. The only question I could think of was, well, where do you masturbate? And I thought to myself, I don't know if I should ask this question. I'm sure I'll figure it out when I'm there. I'm pretty sure that if the filter comes in, if I don't know if I should ask this question, the answer's usually no. But then they said, you can ask us anything. So I asked the question and they both- He was like, where does one masturbate in the jungle? When Sandra Sully comes on. And then they kind of looked a bit shocked and they looked at each other and they weren't quite

sure who should answer the question. They said, oh, Glenn, can you answer this one? For anyone wondering, it does happen on the show. It's in the toilet, the drop toilet. There's no cameras there. So that's where I'm assuming everyone would go to masturbate. Imagine masturbating in a cubicle that has a drop toilet and that's it. And there's a bucket below full of all of your campmates poops. As I said, I could have sex in a dumpster or drop toilet. I am going to ask you how many times when you come home. I'm not going to share that on the podcast. I think that you're going to be on such low calorie restriction

that you're going to feel so fatigued. You're like, I'm not getting any of these juices out. I need the resources. Matt doesn't. It's just dust. I come out like all skin and bone. Like, oh, God, you didn't masturbate, did you, Matt? I don't know what you're talking about.

Need water. This has been too much. I feel like we've shared too much, which I say that rarely, but I think on this episode we have. So I'm going to wrap it up there. That is a good time to stop, I think. This is it? We're finished?

I reckon we can, yeah. How do you feel? It's nice to have you back on the podcast, Matthew Johnson. It's good to be back. I've missed you. I've missed you too. Keisha, also I've missed you as well. I've missed you as well.

Thank you. We're going to miss you when you're gone, honey. Lola's not. Everybody, gather around. Let's rally around Matthew Johnson. let's make sure that he stays away for as long as possible and we'll vote for him in the african jungle i'm speaking like you're not here anymore you in the african jungle that is it from us guys we are back next week to normal programming life uncut we'll be back brit is back from

dubai romania wherever she's been all over the world and yeah we're going to be back to well i should say our normal scheduling but actually our scheduling is changing and if you missed what those changes are we did do an episode last year titled some big changes are coming next year uh which you can go and have a listen to and you will know what is coming this year 2025 happy new year's everyone i didn't even say that you can't know it's too no it's too far gone isn't it we're also too far on the episode yeah happy new year's everybody and you know the drill tell your mom tell your dad tell your dog tell your friends and share the love because we love love