Life Uncut - MOTIVATION, MOOD & MINDSET- Uncut with Dr Julie Smith

Episode Date: May 2, 2022

Hey Lifers!Joining us on the pod today is clinical psychologist and tik tok star Dr Julie Smith!We joke about the pod sometimes feeling like a bit of a therapy session, but today might be more along those lines than usual; so sit down and get comfy on the couch. Today we're jumping into:-why we procrastinate and how to find motivation-negative beliefs and self doubt-the misconceptions and differences of depression and anxiety-when to get back into the dating worldIf you loved Julie and would like to see more of her content, you can see everything here: https://doctorjuliesmith.com/Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because we love love!!xxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Before we get into the episode, we just want to say a big thank you to today's sponsor and that is one I've been repping for a very long time. It is New Balance. Now New Balance has just released the 12th version of their Fresh Foam X range of shoe and if you run, they are for you. If New Balance could only make one running shoe, it'd be the Fresh Foam 1080 V12. It's like their golden child of running shoe. Now I'm certainly no runner, but I absolutely try. Buster and I get out, we get out several times a week because it is the one thing running that is good for my mental health. You can purchase the Fresh Foam XV12 collection by visiting newbalance.com.au. Now let's get into the episode. Life Uncut podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians

of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today. This episode is recorded on Gadigal land of the Aurora Nation. Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. And I've lost my voice. Brittany got scammed by some removalists. It's a great week to be alive. What a time. Welcome to our Tuesday episode. You do sound really funny because your voice is just about to go and it doesn't,

that doesn't bode well in an industry where our job is to speak. Radio and podcasting and you are, you are hanging on for dear life. We actually, we had an interview planned for this afternoon. We were going to interview Angie Kent this afternoon, but we had to push her back because I don't think I could hang out for this intro chat and then also managed to punch out another interview after this. No, it would have been hard listening. It would have been like something from The Simpsons, like scratchy, you know? Like Marge. Marge Simpson, yeah. So I'm very sorry that I sound like this at the start of this episode. However, I did not sound like this when we did the interview, which is the middle of this

episode. So it's not going to be like this forever, I promise. Yeah, so sometimes, and depending on when someone's available for an interview, we break this episode recording up. So if someone's available we will do the interview but then we might do this intro at another time that's what has happened so laura's voice is going to sound don't let them don't let them behind the curtain don't let them see what we do how our level of disorganization well i think the voice is going to be the giveaway you can't even you can't even laugh i can't there's no sound that comes out when i laugh i just wheeze and you know what i'm just going to put it out there because i know that anytime anybody has any sort of sickness now we're like me me covid covid i've done so many tests and

this has been brewing for about a month and I think that it's just finally it's just finally here it's like Laura you need to stop and you need to have a sleep and you need to get over it but anyway enough about me before we get any further into Laura's very very sexy voice or telling you what the episode's about we do just want to say a big thank you to our sponsor today that made this episode possible that is New Balance now I wear New Balance to death if you follow me actually I used to post about my favorite pair of shoes overseas and lots of people used to laugh at me they were bright pink and they had chains on them do you know the ones Laura I have no idea what you're talking about.

I wear them to bed, their New Balance. But New Balance have just released the golden child of running shoes, the Fresh Foam 1080 V12. And let me tell you, I've been hitting the pavement with Delilah. They are very, very comfortable. And even if you're not a runner, because, like, let's face it, I'm not a very good runner, but I do walk places, so I have them as well.

And they're very good if you don't run and you just walk. Anyway, Britt, tell us about this whole removalist debacle. If you follow me on Instagram, you you would have seen what went down with me this week I just I feel like I've had one of those weeks that there's been a lot of tears shed for a multitude of reasons like I mean you cried last week on the podcast you can't cry this week on the podcast I won't cry on the podcast but I did cry in RL in real life I basically gave a lot of my furniture almost a house worth of furniture to my very very best friend when I moved out of my place because they needed some furniture so I

said you know what I'm gonna get some new stuff anyway you can keep the stuff well they also moved into your old house so it was kind of like it just worked you moved out you moved into this place they moved into that place and they kind of used your furniture while they were there yeah I was trying to do a good thing and I was like do you know what just just use all my furniture you don't have to worry then amazing and in a year's time when you move out I'll just deal with my furniture then and I'll take it back either we sell it or whatever long story short they had to move out urgently because there were some renovations happening in the building they couldn't be there for work. So they've had to break their lease after only like two or three months. So we organized

the move out and I thought, okay, great. I will just organize to get all my furniture picked up and shipped up the coast. I was waiting. It was supposed to come yesterday on a Sunday. So it's supposed to come on Sunday at nine o'clock. Now I was very silly and paid up front. So between nine and 11, I was waiting, waiting, waiting. They didn't come, waited a little bit longer and there's nothing else in the house. So I'm just hanging around, kept waiting. I thought, you know, removalists are pretty unreliable they're always late from picking up other jobs or doing other stuff I'll keep waiting keep waiting keep waiting I got to 5 p.m and I was like mama it's like they're not coming I realized they weren't coming and I started to panic because I thought okay

what am I going to do because you know when you're leaving a lease you have to be out so we had to be out of that apartment on Monday morning which is this morning we're recording this on a Monday so this is this morning it's 5 p.m on a Sunday how am I what was I supposed to do I was at such a loss that I was like how do I have to get all of my house's furniture out on a Sunday night with I don't have I don't have a ute I don't have a van I don't have family here it's Sunday night I was so overwhelmed that I just sat in my car out the front and I just sat there and cried and I was like I just couldn't do I couldn't get out couldn't get on my phone couldn't do anything else I was like I just need to bawl my eyes out for a second I just had so much frustration and

stress and I think that I don't want to sound like I'm being dramatic but I think it was the icing on the cake from a big few weeks you know when this one little thing happens that tips you over the edge and I feel like the big part of this as well is is that you pretty much got scammed by a removalist company well we think you've got scammed well so we think so it was hard to know and the reason I didn't call like everyone's like call the company out but I don't ever want to do that I don't like this online idea of online bullying I was like dox them but if somebody if i 100 knew that a company was scamming i would but until i knew that or until i know that i don't want to out a company unless it was a it could have been a mistake and i you know optimistic

britney is saying it's a mistake and it's a sunday businesses aren't open you don't respond within you know an eight hour working day on a sunday i feel like that was a very smart route if it was laura burn it may have been a different story i put this on my instagram and i sort of shared my story I can't believe Laura you would be shook how many people wrote to me saying this exact thing happened to them that they have been scammed by a removalist specifically and I was just gobsmacked one person in particular had their whole house worth of property picked up like four bedroom like a big house to move and they were not moving locally not in the same city it was like an interstate move and so you know like the removalist goes and you drive as well you meet

them there like a day later or however long it takes it never came to this day imagine getting ghosted by your removal they have they got their whole house worth of furniture got ghosted imagine trying to move into state and so I guess this is a scam people taking all this furniture and I guess that they just drive away and they must have like a dark web that they sell everything on I mean it's the perfect crime right you just put in a car you say yeah I'll meet you at the other side and then you just never show up i'll text you back it's so fucked you've all you all need to keep your wits about you when it comes to your dating ghosting and your removalist ghosting everyone ghosts you these days anyway once i find out in a couple of days if it was a scam or not because

i'm like now we're in business hours i'm going to try and keep trying to contact them i still feel positive i'm very optimistic that it was a misunderstanding you will know about it on thursday's episode if it wasn't because we will dox them we are coming for you i begged the real estate to give me an extra day in the house I was like I you don't have a choice I was like physically the furniture's in there and I can't get it out give me another day and I spent a night I started to move all night on my own I've just got a little car but I just loaded what I could up drove it back went back drove back there's enough I've got someone from air tasker this young lad helping me this afternoon bless his soul bless our air tasker but I'll let you know

on Thursday if I hear anything it just reminds me of uni days where you would just always do everything yourself you just move even if it was like the world's heaviest I was gonna say king bed but I know uni students got a king bed like you're just single maybe you just do it you just figure it out you get your friends and you would do it all yourself and that is where we're at again well there was something else that we wanted to talk to you about before we get into today's episode but today's episode so that you know what it is that we're talking about we are talking to Dr Julie Smith who is a TikTok sensation but she's also a clinical psychologist and this conversation today is all around motivation, procrastination, how we deal with anxiety,

our moods. She covers so many different topics via her TikTok channels, all around creating better mental health. Yeah, I am the ultimate, Laura. I think you are as well, but I think you can attest to this. I am a huge procrastinator. I don't understand the psychology behind it, because it's not that I don't want to do something. It's just that I want to spend four hours on Instagram scrolling for me it's the motivation like I need a pressure cooker environment to perform really well like I can still get a job done but when I know that there's an end date and there's something ticking and you've got hours left like when you cram for a maths exam or something at school that's where I get shit done but when I've got all the time in

the world I'm like I'll do it later I'll do this I'll I better clean out the dust from my light shade like I find anything else that there could possibly be to do before I do a job but I think that that was kind of partly what tied into this conversation is that we sometimes expect that motivation is going to hit us we sometimes expect oh when I feel ready to do that task I'll finally get myself to do it and this is all around how you can't just wait for the feeling before you take action I think there are so many people out there who would relate to that feeling that they procrastinate procrastinate procrastinate and then leave everything to the last hour and Julie does go into the reasoning behind the psychology behind why we do that what factors motivate us in those

very last minutes why it is that we kind of get that kick in the ass but just also some tools that you can implement in order to not leave everything to the last fucking minute a little bit of like impulse control too like when you want to do something like text your ex why you probably shouldn't and self-moderation but before we get into talking about all of that there is something else that we wanted to cover now this is a story that was discussed in December and January and it was kim kardashian and a photo of her child chicago and also of her niece there was lots of speculation that she had taken the face of her niece true and photoshopped it onto a photo of her other niece stormy so that she could post this photo of her daughter and stormy together at

disneyland fucking weird like it was weird behavior then but it has come back to life because kim kardashian has finally spoken about this elusive photo well yeah so there's this one little photo if you if you haven't been following the saga for the last couple of months I in all honesty I missed it when it happened so in January I missed it I'm only catching wind of this saga now when Kim has come out and started to defend herself but you will see the photo of Disneyland you'll see the photo of True and Chicago it's a very cute photo it is very very beautiful and she talked about how you know how they had such a great day at Disneyland the reason it's come to light now is Khloe Kardashian just took her daughter True who was in this who was photoshopped

into this photo she just took her daughter True to Disneyland and she put it on her Instagram and she said True's first time at Disneyland and the whole world's gone hang on we've seen a photo months ago of True at Disneyland and then they've caught on to the fact that it's been photoshopped the world went up in arms and they couldn't and it's actually funny once it all exploded Khloe kardashian was like oh i just fucking fucked something up she literally said well i fucked this one up didn't she which is i think i think this is really fucking funny i know it's very problematic and i know there are a lot of underlying issues that come with it but as a whole you have to sit back and laugh at the extreme lengths this family the kardashians go to

for their instagram for entertainment for content it's it's ludicrous so basically if you look at this photo and like i feel like you need to pull it up like just google kim kardashian photoshop at disneyland it'll come up it's like the no it's the number one thing it's been talked about the last three days you can see it actually is a pretty bloody good photoshop let me say like i would not if i was scrolling instagram i would not have thought that another little girl's face was photoshopped onto her niece's body i would not have thought that it's immaculate it's a beautiful photo however people who are absolutely eagle-eyed because there's so many people who follow the Kardashians who are actually just a little bit crazy and a little bit obsessed and

follow every single intrinsic thing about the photos trying to find fault and if you look really closely you can see that most of the photo is actually a little bit blurry like Chicago is blurry the hand of the niece who the niece's body which is Stormy and the face that's True's True's face is like crystal clear like it is perfectly in focus whereas the hand and the body is a little bit out of focus like the rest of the photo and that's where people started calling okay maybe this there was something wrong here but Kim Kardashian has actually come out and she has admitted that she photoshopped one niece's face onto another niece's body and this is what she had to say about it she goes oh okay so this one has some serious explaining now you know I am

all about my aesthetic and my Instagram grid is pink and blue lately isn't it so cute and well planned out well the original pics were stormy however I asked at Kylie Jenner if I could post them and she said no she wasn't really feeling posting at that moment and so I respect that but it wasn't going to mess up my Instagram feed Chicago was wearing pink and it matched perfectly Chicago being Kim Kardashian's daughter it wasn't the aesthetic I was going for and I can own up to that you know how much a good aesthetic means to my soul and I will be damned if Kylie will ruin that for me and mess up my Instagram grid. So thank you True for taking one for the team on this one. I didn't think it would be that big of deal if her own mum questioned if I had snuck her

away to Disneyland for the first time or not. So basically even Chloe had responded and she was like, hold on a second, did you take her to Disneyland? She didn't even know that the photoshopping was being done, which is kind of weird in the first place. Like she didn't even ask her sister if she could photoshop her sister's kid onto the photo that she was posting. Well, it sort of contradicts what she did in the first place because she asked one sister, Kylie, if she could post Stormi, who said no. So instead of asking if she could post True, she just went and photoshopped her in. So it doesn't even make sense. Well, the reason for this, actually, it does make sense if you do a bit of digging around timelines is because it was all happening at the same time that Travis Scott, who is Kylie's partner, was in the news and being called out for the huge tragedy that happened at Astroworld.

so Kylie was trying to lay low on social media not to draw more attention and that's the reason why Kim had asked her but she obviously was like sorry I need my pink and blue I mean it's so funny but if I was going to like you would think the number one rule right if you were trying to do a photoshop trickery like pull some no but if you were going to pull the trickery on your Instagram you don't have a thousand followers right you have 300 million or something ludicrous between them they have like a billion followers if you were trying to trick your audience you would at least make sure all the parties involved know about it because this is what happened like wouldn't you just say hey clo heads up i'm just gonna put true's face like true went to disneyland today

just so you know like just run with that story wouldn't you just make sure all the parties are involved wouldn't you just take another fucking photo like if you're only post if you're only posting the photo because of aesthetics because it matches your grid just take another the photo totally just say just yeah just be like yo chicago go and stand over here next to this pink balloon like because pink's my jam although when i did see this there was a moment of me and i feel like other mums might be able to relate to this there are so many cute photos of my sister with my kids and every so often i'm like oh i wish that photo was of me with my kids so maybe i can just photoshop my face onto my sister's body and no one will know i think no but this is the thing

and this is why i'm laughing yes it's problematic and it's problematic because it has recently come out in the last week or so that not only did she photoshop it but she had to change the color of her skin so she's photoshopped her skin darker because that's what would match so a lot of people are up in arms saying do you know how wrong it is to be altering your child's skin to match your aesthetic like you are fucked up and I agree that side of it is fucked up she also changed the pants from orange to pink as well though so the girl is dedicated but this is why it's funny you have to sit back and laugh at the whole thing because it's so ridiculous I think it's not funny I think it is so incredibly sad that yes funny sad and I and I understand that like they are a very special

breed of people their entire careers their entire income has been very carefully created and curated based on who they are as people like they are their own products but I think it is incredibly sad that their children are a part of that commodity that their children become part of the aesthetic and it's not actually about posting a nice photo of your child but it's about posting a photo that suits a brand and that's kind of where things feel a bit icky for me that is horrible and that is really sad and the saddest part is that these kids are never ever going to know differently and they don't have a chance to know differently imagine growing up and looking back at your photos and not knowing what was real did I really do that mom was I really there was I on

that plane did I go to the palmers is that me is that stormy is that Chicago is that like and then Kim's gonna say shut up and look at your Porsche you're 14 just go and enjoy it and I'd be like yes okay I can take that too but in terms of what you just said like you wish that sometimes like you might get a nice photo with your sister and you wish you could photoshop them in this isn't the first time this family's done that like and but these things I think are funny right it can be more innocent Kim Kardashian's been called out a few times for her family portraits where one of the children having photoshopped they've got a really beautiful photo everyone like I think there's six of them four kids everyone's looking really good but there have been times where people

have called them out for one of the children being photoshopped in and she's like well i'm going to admit to this they were screaming and crying they couldn't get in the picture so i just got a nice picture of them later and put it in so i had a family portrait no 100 i have okay any mom will relate to this if you try and do family photos with your children even normal photographer like i've taken lola and marley and we've done family photos just for us and the photographers will say oh don't worry if lola's not smiling in this one i'll just take her head from another photo and drop it in so she's so she's facing the right way so it happens to normal people and you probably didn't bat an eyelid right you're probably like oh cool yeah just put the smiley one in please

drop please drop her better head on her body and if you could put Kylie Jenner's face on mine too that would be great okay there have also been some other speculations that she's just like we're really down a rabbit hole of Kim Kardashian photoshopping photos there have been some photos that have come out where people have been saying that she has photoshopped the jawline of pete davidson recently to make him look more masculine no one is safe britney no one it's so funny but like if you want your partner to look like someone else just date someone else like i love you but i want you to look hotter if my partner imagine this laura imagine if mad photoshop bigger titties on me yes put a photo of you up but change your face put some boobs on

you tucked you in here imagine if and you didn't know and you just saw a photo of you and you're Like, I swear to God, that's not me. I'd be like, damn, you see some potential that is not there. But one last thing I want to add. I'm very proud to say, oh, I don't know if I'm proud. I follow the Kardashians on like Instagram and because their life is fascinating. You cannot, it's like nothing else in the world

that we have ever seen. But I have only just, because I recently ran out of things to watch online. I only just have watched the first two episodes ever of any season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. I have never in all the years, there's 20 seasons I've never watched anything and I get it I was two episodes in and I was hooked I was like I need to know what happens next I've seen it and I still don't know which

one's which I get them wrong all the time do not Chloe is Courtney to me I don't know the only one I know is Kim but anyway let's get in to our favorite part of every episode which is accidentally unfiltered okay I just want to kick this one off with I just thought this was really cute it's this is absolutely there's nothing dirty about this there's nothing oh we love a g-rated accidentally unfiltered don't we it's so g-rated but i just thought i was just like rooting for us you can't make this shit up i own a small massage studio and i was about to have my very first client of the day so i started getting organized i connected my phone to the speaker for some background music like i always do my first client arrived and i showed her in i told her to get ready hop onto

the table and you know you come back in 10 minutes when i gently knocked on the door to see if she was ready I opened up walked in and to my horror I had queued an episode of life uncut quite unprofessional on my behalf because let's be real we all know what you guys talk about I began apologizing profusely if it was last week's episode it was all about do you stick do you have an enema before you have anal sex and I hope it was imagine you're a professional and you've got someone on your massage table and that's what starts playing I started to apologize profusely being quite aware of how much time had already gone past she stopped me as I was just about to change it and said I haven't heard this one yet let's listen to it so I massaged this absolute legend of a woman for an

hour listening to Life Uncut we both absolutely loved it that is very cute I just thought it was really really cute that she was like oh my god I'm about to get fired I've just started playing anal sex to my client and she's like no I haven't heard this one yet and she took home a tip or two that's what she did actually do you know what we had so many people write in post the enema conversation and apparently it is very much the way to go in same-sex relationships it's like heterosexual couples are not across the the joys and the benefits of having an enema no and this is what i was saying you know we had like a behind the scenes convo about that and i was like yes guys everyone in same-sex relationships this is standard and everyone he was laura you like fuck

that so much effort so much effort to have an enema I'm just gonna have a surprise whatever happens could be a paddle pop stick who knows okay I actually could have two because I've got two funny ones but maybe we'll see I've got another one all right this is very short this week I bumped into one of my managers outside of work who was walking his dog I said hi and I crouched down to pat the dog my manager said oh sorry he's a little bit of a licker I looked up Looked him dead in the eye and instead of saying, oh, that's okay, my dog too, I just said, that's okay, me too. To her boss.

We're so innocent today. This is so cute. Okay, I've got one more. I mean, this is also innocent, but can you imagine how uncomfortable you'd be? Okay, guys, this is one for my 14-year-old daughter's 21st or maybe even her 50th. My daughter is super sporty and gets really tight calves. she always comes into our room right before bed as do all of our four kids she gives us a hug and she says good night one night when her calves must have been really sore she came in and she reaches

for what she assumed was massage oil proceeds to lube up her calf muscle and then asks her dad to massage her legs at this point the options weren't looking good one we could either explain that it was lube which in turn we would have to have a very open conversation about what lube was for white was on our bedside table and mortify the shit out of us and our poor kid two we allow her to think it was massage oil have dad massage her leg with said lube we decided on the latter which sounds completely inappropriate but it is hand on heart i swear on my laugh the most innocent option it's the most innocent thing we could do we weren't ready to have the chat so we let this one slide and i haven't yet told her i'm sure one day she'll figure it out for herself and i'm not

ready for that moment but imagine the dad having to have a straight look on his face when she hands him lube from their bedside table and says massage my calf muscle I mean it would be very effective though I would be great but also my dad's never massaged my calf muscle I feel short-changed with lube all right guys let's get into the chat with Dr Julie quickly interrupting the episode to say a very big thank you to today's sponsor and that is one I've been wearing holes in for a long time it's New Balance. Now if you're a runner which I do try to do we have some great news for you. I mean you're a very good runner you were doing like the cross marathon thing last year. Oh I wouldn't say I'm good I did it but it was hard. Mate I struggle but I try I'm that person

that everyone looks at who runs down the street. But I have Delilah now she's a working dog so I have to run more than I have ever had to run and this is where New Balance comes in handy because they have just released their 12th version of their Fresh Foam X range of shoe and you're going to want to get these bad boys on your feet the new styles are the 1080 v12 the 880 v12 the 860 v12 and these are the shoes that are for every kind of runner it doesn't matter if you're great runner or not the one thing that is so amazing for is for your mental health and i like to get out there with buster and absolutely give it a crack and if i'm not running i'm walking and these shoes are seriously just the most comfortable thing ever if new balance were to make only one running shoe

ever again, it would be the Fresh Foam 1080 V12 because it is their most comfortable running shoe. But in all seriousness, it is for all levels. Maybe you're doing an ultra marathon or maybe you're just going for a walk with your dog. There is something for everyone. A power walk with your pram. You can purchase the Fresh Foam X V12 collection by visiting newbalance.com.au. Now let's get back into the episode. We're so excited to have Dr. Julie Smith joining us today. Now, Dr. Julie is a clinical psychologist. She is also a TikTok star who has recently released her new book, Why Has Nobody Told

Me This Before? Dr. Julie now has 3.1 million followers on TikTok, 688,000 followers on Instagram, and her posts have already amassed more than 20 million likes. The book is a mental health toolbox for when we need some help to take on different challenges. Welcome to Life Uncut. Thanks for having me, guys. Julie, you're a pretty famous TikTok superstar, aren't you? How did that happen?

It's gone a bit wild in such a short time as well. I think it's like two and a bit years ago that we decided to put a few videos online and see what happened. And I did not expect this. I thought it was going to be one of those sort of temporary little projects that you do and then it sort of, you know, filters out. But it just took off like a rocket. I feel like I'm just sort of holding on for dear life. How did everything take off? How did you become this TikTok superstar sensation? Was it just one video that went viral or was it a series of videos? And as Brittany, as you answer this question, Brittany's Googling how to start a TikTok and she's just trying to get some hot tips on this one.

I don't know how to do this TikTok thing. Yeah. Do you know what? It was through a mistake. I put a video on and I'd only put on a few, to be honest. It took off quite quickly. But the first video that got lots of views, I put music on and I was such a novice at using it all.

I didn't realize you could change the sort of volume and stuff. so the music was too loud so everybody was in the comments saying I had to listen to it three times because the music's too loud and I couldn't hear what you said so obviously lots of kind of re-watch and stuff like that did well for it so that's how I got so many views yes that was my first blow up so you know mistakes help right but also you know it was about a month before the pandemic started and a couple months before the first lockdown and everything so I think it's probably timing was a big issue and you know lots of people online expressing their distress but no one was really on there as a professional saying here are some things you could do that would help so yeah I

think swimming against the tide at the time probably helped. I mean we don't often see complex mental health issues like depression like anxiety taken and discussed on a social media platform in a way that's succinct and gets the point across I mean these are topics that normally are more conducive for talking about in long-form content like maybe on a podcast but you managed to capture that in these bite-sized little bits of content how is it that you're able to communicate this and what was it about TikTok that made you want to take clinical psychology onto a social media platform? Yeah I mean it has felt like I've been sort of definitely swimming against the tide I couldn't find anyone else who was doing that kind of thing certainly

psychologists anyway who were doing that kind of thing when we first started. Initially started we were going to put some videos on YouTube and things like that and they were about the videos were about 10 minutes long. And I would kind of explain this thing that I would explain in therapy and take my time over it. And then my husband discovered TikTok and was like, oh, this could be a really great idea. You know, why not make bite size kind of videos? And my initial thought was no way. I just, there's no way you can, you know, slim this stuff down that much without destroying the idea. And he said, well, you know, let's just give it a shot and see what happens. And if it doesn't work out, we'll just delete it, you know? And so we tried and actually it really

gets you to the point where you know you have to strip down all the jargon anything that's sort of unnecessary to the message all that kind of fluff around your language just just take it out and see what you've got left and actually sometimes it's even more powerful than including more and more words that you don't need so it became a bit of a kind of creative challenge if you like as well because often there are these subjects that they're not sexy they're not really kind of grabbing your attention but the two of us would work together on okay we've got this message that could be really useful to a bunch of people how do we make it more engaging and more interesting and how can we bring it alive with I don't know music or you know different kind of camera tricks

or whatever we're doing and so we just yeah we just played around with it and learned through trial and error the kind of content that we wanted to do I guess. I think it's really great that you are an early adopter in this space you did see a space and you capitalized on it and hats off to you but I think the fact of the matter is a lot of people go on the internet and they google things for themselves. I've been guilty of it. I know my mom and dad do it a lot. But you go and say like, Hey, what's wrong with me? How do I deal with this? What is the, what are these symptoms? And there's so much complex terminology around it that sometimes the information we're receiving adds to our overwhelm and people are like, fuck it. I'm not even going to go and get the help

that I need because it's too much. I don't understand it. It's too complicated. It's too stressful. I'm going to leave it. Yeah, hugely. And it was one of those sort of big questions I got from like journalists and stuff like that when all this interest started to sort of appear and I was working with people one-to-one in my therapy room and I could only help one person at a time and I wanted to share this education and I think in order to reach a big audience the most effective way to do that is to go where everybody's attention is you know if you stand outside of an arena and bang your drum instead of going inside where everybody's you know looking at you then your message is not going to be as effective so I kind of felt like I could

either sit in my therapy room and complain about how damaging that stuff can be and how much misinformation is out there or I could get stuck in get involved and put something out there that was evidence-based and potentially helpful so that if someone is scrolling they had a chance then of either coming across you know my material over something else that might be misinformation for example and you know a lot of my videos have been around sort of reminding people that social media isn't real and what they see isn't often real and you know comparison and those kind of things just to kind of highlight you know while you're on here have a think about how you feel when you spend time on a certain profile so trying to sort of build people's awareness around okay if

you're going to be on this platform use it to your advantage don't let it use you you wrote something and i really loved this quote and i would love for you to expand on this a little bit more for listeners what you said was every time you choose a path that is not in your best interest you confirm your belief that you do not deserve better so your actions influence your beliefs about yourself so often we talk about sort of core beliefs and beliefs that you have that then impact on the choices you make which is true but it's it's circular so also the way that you behave will influence on how you feel about yourself so when we're talking about trying to change people's belief. So if someone believes they're no good or that they don't deserve good things, then we

behave as if that's true. But the way to change that is not to sit in a therapy room and try and hash out those beliefs and try and change the beliefs. The way that we change beliefs is through action. You know, your brain learns through evidence of experience. So if you start to behave and treat yourself in a way that is consistent with the new beliefs that you would like to hold about yourself then you create this opportunity for those beliefs to begin to adjust and change and it's not easy and it's not quick it takes time and it takes lots of effort because actually acting in a way that is not in line with what you believe is really hard and takes lots of conscious effort but yeah if we if you feel like you're being held back by negative beliefs about

yourself then essentially the way forward from that is action and starting to behave as if you're someone you really care about we have actually spoken about something similar to this on the podcast before and it's this idea that sometimes actions actually precede feelings like often we don't want to do something because we don't feel a certain way whether it be maybe you don't want to be intimate with your partner or you know maybe you feel frustrated so you don't want to touch them and be loving towards them but often the action of being loving and doing that can then bring that feeling on sometimes we expect too much that our feelings are going to be the motivating actor when actually we need to take action and then those feelings follow yeah yeah absolutely

and and um a lot of people will wait for a feeling to arrive and and sort of you know this kind of idea of waiting until you feel like it that when i feel ready i will do x y or z or i will start chasing my dreams and those kind of things or i will start making changes that i need know i need to make and a lot of my work has been around you know don't wait for that feeling because it's not coming to get you it's not it's not coming to help you that feeling of kind of motivation and drive and energy that's the feeling you get after you come out the gym not when you're walking in you know when you kind of you do something that is so in line with who you want to be in the future and the kind of person you want to be that it gives you this real sort of high that says yes I should

do this every day because it feels good it feels right and it feels in line with the life I want have. And so we have to be able to override that urge not to do it for whatever reason, fear or anything else, and start and be willing to do it imperfectly in the beginning so that we get some momentum and build a routine and new habits. And then we get the benefits, the emotional benefits of that change somewhere along the way. On this topic of, you know, sometimes you might not feel like doing something, but if you go out there and action it, then maybe the feeling will come. We get a lot of questions about breakups and moving on. And how do you know when you're ready? How do you know when it's time to get back into the dating world, online dating,

physical dating, all of those things? How do you know when you're ready to do it? Are we supposed to wait for this feeling to say, yes, I'm ready? Or are we supposed to say, I don't really feel ready, but maybe if I just go throw myself out there, those feelings will come. I guess it depends on what's happened to you in terms of how that previous relationship ended and whether that's something you need to spend time healing from you know if it was a relationship that wasn't especially life-changing for that person or you know if that person didn't mean everything to you and you weren't together for years and years and years or then it might be easier to get back out there and but for other people they might be in a situation where they are heartbroken or there

are things that have happened in that relationship that they then need to heal from and take time over to reflect on and learn from partly to avoid getting into the same situation over and over again so I think you know everyone's different and it's you know it's the kind of the answer no one really wants is it that it's different for everyone and you know and that kind of thing okay give me the rule give me an answer yeah give me a step by step and I think maybe the rule is self-awareness is looking at you know how do I know when I'm not okay when I need time to heal and how do I know when when I'm ready for new adventure and to reconnect with people again and And so I think maybe that's the role is spending time with yourself and what that's taught you about what you want for your future and the sorts of relationships you want for the future.

And if everything feels raw and a bit heavy, then maybe that's a chance to sort of take some time to look after yourself. And then once you feel ready, you know, making that decision to move forward again. But I think maybe as well as asking yourself, am I making this decision out of fear? So is it that I want a relationship, but I'm not putting myself out there through fear? Because then I think it's always a really good thing to ask yourself, am I making decisions based on my values and what I want for my life or because I'm scared? And so I think it's a good idea to try and make your decisions based on your values as opposed to the sort of what you're feeling right now or what you don't want to feel.

So I guess maybe just really listen to your own gut instinct, your own body, your own intuition. Yeah, absolutely. It doesn't need to be permanent, does it? it's not like if I go out into the world then I have to stay out there I can test the water see how I get on tip a toe tip a toe and then and then pull back and see and reflect on that and you know because it might be that you know maybe I want to meet people in this way but I don't want to meet people in that way maybe I'm just not okay with online dating or maybe I'm just not okay with

something you know whatever it is it's okay to try things out in small ways learn from it and then redirect. You talk a lot about this idea of motivation and procrastination and this is something that you mentioned a little bit earlier but I wanted to circle back on this because I do think that we can all feel very guilty for doing it and I think that we all do do it from time to time and that is procrastinate about something. I mean for me I've been procrastinating for the last year about getting back into exercise ever since I had a child. Why do we as humans procrastinate or why do we feel like we need to have motivation before we actually start something. I think that's probably a myth. I think probably everybody has moments or

situations where they'll avoid something. I mean, as humans, we are built to avoid discomfort. So whether that discomfort is boredom or stress or anxiety, if we know that a situation is going to create that emotional discomfort in us, then we're built to step back from that and avoid it if we can. So we're kind of going against our natural human urges when we put ourselves in situations that make us feel vulnerable for example so you know that thing might be exercise and or it might be tackling the pile of bills or boring things that you know you've got to deal with or you know updating your insurance or all of those jobs that we all hate that we procrastinate over but yeah I think we're just built to avoid those difficult feelings I think. Okay firstly just I'm going to

probably butcher this word but just correct me tell me how to pronounce it you talk about something is it anhedonia is that right anhedonia yes yes so in the book I kind of distinguish between procrastination and anhedonia so anhedonia is essentially a kind of symptom of depression so it's when you kind of lose interest in the things that you used to enjoy so if someone is experiencing depression they'll stop doing the things that even kind of bring them pleasure because they just don't feel that pleasure anymore and often lots you know all of your emotions are kind of dulled down and you kind of you just stop doing those things because you don't really feel like it anymore and I think that's kind of then different to the procrastination which is probably the you know the

avoidance of an uncomfortable feeling so yeah I sort of distinguish between the two of those so rather than we have that very human urge to kind of kick ourselves while we're down and and criticize yourself for being lazy and all that kind of thing and actually it's much more helpful to look at a behavior with curiosity so okay I'm sat here not tackling those bills wishing that I was what is it that is pulling me back from that? What is it that I'm avoiding or what am I, you know, what's going on here? And that's much more helpful to look at it with curiosity rather than just label ourselves as, you know, a lazy person. I don't think there is a correlation between procrastination, laziness and motivation because personally for me, I'm the biggest

procrastinator I know. Everything, everything possible, I wait to the last minute. Even just to go out to dinner, it is the last minute possible that I'll go. I'll pack for a trip an hour before I need to go. I'll get my job done midnight when I know it's due at 8am the next day. I mean, I did get through an entire university degree by cramming. So I'm going to say that it still works. Absolutely. Like I'm just a real procrastinator, but that doesn't correlate for me for motivation because I'm super motivated. I'll start new projects all the time. I'm always looking for that next thing and I always finish it. I just finish it at the last minute. So what can people that suffer from this very, very serious prevalent disease that I do called

procrastination. Or last minute-itis is what it is. Last minute-itis. What can we do to be better? How do we be better? Well, it's really interesting that one, isn't it? The kind of leaving things to last minute, because I think a lot of people really benefit from that increase in stress in the last moments. It's much easier to completely focus your mind if you've got that heightened sense of alertness from the increase in stress. Like, oh, this is due tomorrow. Now I'm stressed about it so you get this sort of surge of energy and alertness that allows you to really focus on it and not be distracted because you've got the sense of urgency so some people really thrive with a sense of urgency but then call themselves lazy or whatever for leaving it to last minute so yeah

I mean in that sense it's really helpful to kind of look at that with with curiosity but in terms of what we should do again it depends on what the reason is for the procrastination or that you know leaving things till last minute. And once you work out the reason, it's easier to then decide what your strategy is. So there are things you can do to increase the chances of that motivation feeling being there more of the time. And those involve, that's when I start to sound like people's mother. So I kind of, those involve generally looking after yourself. You know, you know that you're going to feel much more energized and motivated if you've had a good night's sleep, right? And if you've eaten good food and if you've, you know, exercised fairly

regularly for the last however long it's because it works and also things like setting goals that are yours and not anybody else's and based on your set of values and things that you really want for yourself and so you're much more likely to kind of invite that sense of motivation more of the time if that's the combination of stuff but also there are times when we just don't feel like it but we have to be able to override that urge not to do something and in the book I talk about skills like opposite action so in a therapy called dbt dialectical behavior therapy we teach a skill to be able to and it's something that we all do at different points but something we can practice and get better at is noticing that before we do anything we'll have an urge to do it so

you'll you'll feel something and you'll have this sensation which is an urge to act and we can go with that urge and we often do right so we'll often feel an urge and act almost in the same moment so we don't really notice the urge but if we start to slow things down and separate it out you notice that urge to act before you do it and when you do that you open up this sort of opportunity to either go with the urge or go against it and just a kind of silly example that I use in the book is when me and my sisters were kids we used to play this game where you we have like a packet of polos and you had to hold the polo in your mouth and the first one to crunch it was the loser right so you had you had that urge to just bite down on this mint and crunch it

but if you could go against that urge I mean and just it's just a really silly way of and you can pick these kind of light-hearted things that you can do that just create this experience of noticing an urge and choosing not to go with it and sometimes that's easy and sometimes it's excruciating you know like not itching an itch that kind of thing and like don't pick up that block of chocolate again Brittany just fight it but are we talking about this purely from the perspective of a motivation perspective or are we talking about this in terms of self-moderation so as in like don't do things that are necessarily desire driven if they're not going to make you happy long term do not text your ex yeah never text your ex they're just like the things that make

you happy short term but actually long term are going to really impact your ability to be happy yeah and that's that's a lot of what happens in therapy you know is you get the chance to look back on your week and look at those sorts of behaviors you know I had this urge to do x y z or text my ex and I and I did it and this was the consequence and then I went around this cycle again and you get to kind of plot those cycles that you get stuck in and by spending time reflecting on those things you get to look at well next time that happens at what point would be the best point for me to break that cycle and so you kind of you place that in your mind that I know when that happens again the xyz would be a better alternative for me and so you've already kind of set that up

that seed in your mind and sometimes you'll go around the cycle again because you'll act on the feeling and other times you'll do this different thing that you've set out for yourself that's based on what you want for your life and your values and who you want to be and so I think the idea is not to kind of do it perfectly there's no one out there that's doing it perfectly and not responding to any feelings that they have. We're all human beings and we're built to do that. It's about always sort of challenging ourselves to go back and try again.

And sometimes you'll break the cycle, sometimes you won't, that's okay. The idea is to get back on. Every time you go back around a vicious cycle that you don't wanna be doing, you go back to the books, you remember what it is you should be doing and you try again.

What do you think some of the myths are around motivation? I think one of the biggest myths is that some people are just motivated and others aren't that it's some sort of personality trait you know and why you can have sort of conscientiousness as a personality trait motivation is a feeling like any other and so it comes and goes like any other it can't be relied upon if it's not going to be there all of the time something that you can do to improve that chances of it being there more of the time is be so clear not only on your goals but on why you've set those goals in the in the first place

and have this sort of this vision for yourself and where you want things to be and how you want them to be and what's necessary to get there and then you break it down to such a degree that it doesn't feel difficult for example if the aim is getting back to exercise but the idea of going to a gym feels vulnerable or stressful in any way then you take the gym out of the equation and you make it as easy as it as possible to do the thing and you also try to make it as hard as possible not to do the thing so you know you might get family and friends involved so that it's hard to let them down if you don't feel like going that day or you make the task so small that you can't not do it you know if it's just walking or running to the end of your street or something and and so

there are people often play around with those things but we'll do that you know that practical stuff alongside constantly staying in touch with why do you want this and we'll even do these kind of tasks around okay what are the advantages and the disadvantages of doing it so the advantages you know maybe I'll improve my health and I'll feel good or maybe the disadvantages are I'm going to feel vulnerable I'm going to feel like an imposter in the gym I'm going to you know it's going to take a long time to see results but then we'll also look at the advantages and the disadvantages of not doing it so if I don't do this thing what's it going to cost me not in terms of money but in terms of the life that I want to have or my well-being or my longevity or feeling

good and then also the advantages of not doing it so what am I gaining from holding myself back here what's the payoff but also I guess we can be very idealistic and and that can turn into self-criticism like you know if you've just had a baby and you are not exercising you can tell yourself that's because you're lazy or you can recognize the fact that if you've only had five hours sleep last night you're unlikely to muster up the energy to go and lift some weights in the gym you know we can kind of be really idealistic you can do it all and there's 24 hours in the day and all that kind of rubbish but actually it's important to look at everything that actually at this stage in my life it is more difficult than it has ever been to put those things in place

and because I'm always putting you know this little human first because that's my job to, you know, keep them alive and ensure their wellbeing, then that means I've kind of deprioritized some of my own things. And maybe I'm ready for a little shift, you know, reshift in the balance. Maybe I'm not. And so I think it's about being really honest with ourselves. Dr. Julie, you write a lot about failure and it's something that we've spoken about on this podcast so many times, and we are so avoidant of failure. We're so fearful of it, rightly so, because it makes us feel terrible, but it's also such an intrinsic part of growth. You wrote a chapter in your book, which was called You Are Not Your Mistakes and Insight

Into Failure. Can you tell us how is self-doubt linked to our relationship with failure? Well, I think our relationship with failure needs some mending, doesn't it, kind of as a society and in terms of just almost reframing our perspective on it. So if you see failure as a normal part of learning anything, of getting better at something, then it becomes part of the process and often you know talk to my my kids about this the idea that you know I don't know when my little boy's playing football and he can't possibly miss a goal because all hell breaks loose and you know he's just no good at football and and you know trying to kind

of encourage them to look at okay well you look at any top footballer they miss more goals than they get and trying to look at well failure is part of success and I guess it's so easy to sit and say isn't it but in some ways we have to just learn as we go you kind of learn that okay I can fail and then I can recover from it because often I think when people are really struggling with self-doubt it's often because they don't believe in their ability to cope with what happens after failure it's the oh what if I fail or you know what if I get into a relationship and it doesn't work out and implicit in that is this idea that I won't cope if things go wrong therefore I need to control and stop anything from going wrong I need to prevent the worst from happening I guess

it's this idea that the more that you're exposed to something the less fearful you become of it because it's the mystery is also gone and you also kind of feel like once you have once you have done something and you fail and you don't die the floor doesn't open up and swallow you whole you then realize oh okay well if that happens again I'm gonna be okay it builds this resilience well you realize that you can fall down and you can get back up and then even if you trip over your shoelace again you can get back up banana peel you can get back up you don't have to stay down yeah and i think it's about kind of learning from failure involves framing failure in a way that's not so devastating and shaming you know if we if we perceive failure to be saying something fundamental

about who we are as a person then it's so painful when it happens that it's hard to to look at it and learn from it whereas if we're able to separate our performance in something from our worthiness as a human being then we're much more able to look at it and say oh this is where I went wrong and this is how I can do better because it doesn't impact on your you know worthiness as a human being and so it's not so painful that you can't bear to look at it and learn from it. A topic of conversation that's really having a moment in the mental health space and I mean more so on social media it's something that we are seeing far more prevalent than ever before. And I think that we can attest to COVID had a real impact on this. And it's the conversations

around anxiety, but also the conversations around depression. For our listeners, could you give a little bit of a rundown on what is the difference? Because sometimes I think these words are used interchangeably. What is the difference between anxiety and what is the difference between having depression? So anxiety is essentially a feeling that every human being can experience. And it's part of our threat response so your brain is set up to keep you alive basically and it will always be scanning your environment and any time that there is any sign that things might not be okay or that there was any danger be that a physical danger or a psychological danger so for example if you anticipate abandonment from the circle of people that you you live with then that is going

to create a huge anxiety response because well I say back in the day but even now if the idea of being abandoned by your social group is a threat to your survival and so when you have that kind of threat response go off that you feel your heart starts pounding your breathing gets very fast and shallow you kind of sweat you can feel super hot and flush and your muscles all start to kind of tremble and shake and that's essentially your physical reaction to your body is getting you ready to respond to this threat whatever it might be so your body is geared up ready to either fight that thing off or run away as quickly as you ever thought you could exactly yeah so so that would be anxiety and I guess separate from the idea of an anxiety disorder and I think that's

often where the use of language gets kind of misused as I say online where there's this assumption that you know if you feel anxious maybe you have an anxiety disorder and maybe you do but also maybe you don't because anxiety is a normal human feeling that we all get at times and it's really excruciating it's supposed to be it's supposed to get us to move and when it becomes disordered or detrimental to your life is when it's constantly being triggered off and you don't necessarily have the skills to manage it and bring it back down again or it's associated with some sort of trauma and and so the stress response is so intense that it's a struggle to even stay safe while you're experiencing that so you know those sorts of things are distinct and so feeling

anxious doesn't necessarily mean you're unwell it can mean that something in your environment isn't right or your needs aren't being met or that kind of thing and that would be distinct from depression which is associated with low mood everyone experiences low mood at times everyone has days when their mood isn't as buoyant as they'd like it to be. But depression involves, low mood is one of the symptoms of depression, but that low mood would be persistent over time and in conjunction with other things like not sleeping well or the downturn in relationships or physical symptoms in terms of lack of energy and those kinds of things. So yeah, they're quite distinct, I'd say. While we are talking about depression, what are some of the misconceptions

around it well i think often when people are saying you've got no reason to be depressed often the reasons they're looking for are reasons they can see and understand clearly and the way that depression works is i mean i've never worked with anyone in my life i mean i've worked with lots of people who've who've pulled themselves through depression and all of those people we've uncovered a narrative of understanding why they were vulnerable to that and working out what's contributed to that and it always makes sense once you unravel it but it takes a lot of unraveling because often the reasons are not in the present and that's why you can be depressed when you have all your needs met right now but there could be a history of lots of other things that are also

in that picture that people can't see in the present day so yes people can think oh you must be so ungrateful or you know everything's okay so why can't you just feel what we want you to feel I think that's the thing with depression is yes there's always a way to understand it and understanding it helps in helping you to to address it and move forward but the only way to do that is with curiosity rather than judgment do you think in today's society that we live in a time where people are more overwhelmed than what they ever have been or that there is more anxiety than what there ever has been or do you think that we're just more inclined to talk about it and that we have labels for things so we're more able to communicate this feeling that's always been there

Or are we experiencing it at unprecedented levels? I think maybe it's that we are aware of it and we are willing to have conversations about it. And often that can create the sense that there is more of it. But yeah, I mean, it's a human response. So it's always been there. It's just been conceptualized in different ways and responded to in different ways. And I think it's only in recent years it's become okay to talk about it. I think this is an idea.

It's something that I think all of society is experiencing. I know I experienced it, but we see it a lot with our friends and family. And it's this idea around this hustle culture that we always need to be doing more, working more, achieving more. Now, I'm not sure if that is just from the growth of social media and comparison theory. We're seeing so many people do all of these things. Oh, you only have one business. You don't have five businesses.

Oh, you don't have a seventh business that you hustle on a Saturday. There's this idea that we need to constantly be achieving more. And I don't know if it's just from comparison theory from social media, or if it's because of COVID the last couple of years, so many people, we went into lockdown, everyone lost their jobs and people needed to make money. People need to find a new way to bring an income in. So all of these little businesses started opening and then there's this obsession with working and doing more.

What's your advice for people that are just stuck in this cyclical hustle culture? And I think it's really useful to be fully aware of how those expectations are influenced by the content you consume, that it's okay to move the bar and it's okay to always have things to work towards, but it's always so important to set those bars and those goals by your own values and your own vision for your life. If you are constantly looking at other people and trying to be this or that or the other and then often that can generate that kind of dissatisfaction with your life. And actually, if you base your goals and your sense of purpose on what matters most to you, then it doesn't really matter how big or small those goals are or how they compare to anyone else's. They will create that sense of fulfillment for you in that sense of meaning and purpose in life. Some people do set a goal and they apply themselves to it so extremely that they can be the best in the world at that thing. And that's okay. But there is a price to pay in terms of the rest of your life. Because if you're going to compete with the whole world at one thing, then the only way to do that is to be on it all the time. but the cost of that is all the other parts of your life you know family and friends and potentially health you can be just as successful in your life but be more balanced with that

success so not necessarily want to be the best at the world at this one thing but you could be pretty reasonably good at half a dozen things in your life and this is something that Laura called me out on just actually like a week ago she's like Brittany your bar keeps moving last year your bar was here you're here now your bar's up here she's like you keep chasing this bar but I think for me this is and that is true like a year ago I would have been so stoked to be where I am right now it's where I wanted to be and I am stoked with where I am now but if I don't move my bar that is my form of motivation so my bar has to be moving otherwise I don't find the motivation to keep going and that's something I'm trying to deal with I guess yeah and I think that like

maybe that's the part of it like when we had this conversation it was more around like the feeling of achieving something that you've always wanted and then not being grateful when you get there like not being able to take the time to acknowledge that actually you are exactly where you wanted to be a year ago but because the bar keeps moving exponentially in the opposite direction you're never satisfied like you'll never be satisfied you'll never get to a place where you feel successful or you feel like you've achieved what it is that you want because it always keeps moving well there needs to be a level of just sitting in it for a hot second and having some appreciation for what you've achieved in your life.

Yeah, and I think also having these like realistic expectations and standards on yourself because if you keep on moving the bar constantly without being able to have some sort of moment to appreciate what you've achieved, it's like, you know, I think sometimes, okay, you have to stop and go, well, I'm not living in that one-bedroom studio anymore eating cans of tuna. No, I have two bedrooms and I order Uber Eats now. Yeah, way too often.

Yeah, absolutely. And as long as you recognise that getting to that next bar isn't the key to happiness if you can develop a healthy process of finding meaning in what you're doing then each goal can be passed and then i think you don't you don't get overexcited by achieving a goal but you also don't get completely flawed by not achieving one either so you don't you don't get flawed by the failures and you don't become overwhelmed by you know achievements either so you it becomes less about either of those things and becomes more about the purpose and the meaning to you in doing this thing. Dr. Julie, your book is called Why Has Nobody Told

Me This Before? And I have a big question for you. When you were writing this book, what was like the number one thing that you thought of that you were like, why has nobody told me this before? Probably through my own kind of journey in terms of my fear of heights and phobia and stuff like that is the recognition that avoidance feeds anxiety. So when you feel anxious, it tells you to get the hell out of there and avoid it at all costs because your brain's trying to keep you safe. But if you avoid that thing through your fear, the fear will grow over time. The thing you do every day becomes your comfort zone. So if there's something you want to master, but it makes you anxious, do it as much as you possibly

can. Dr. Julie, thank you so much for joining us today, for being a part of Life Uncut, for anybody who wants to find you to follow you to view all your social media content can you please let us know your handles and where they can follow you yeah so i'm just dr julie on instagram and uh on on youtube as well i'm going to put some more sort of longer videos with a bit more detail on youtube's uh tiktok is dr julie smith i think yeah so nice to meet you guys thanks for having me you guys know we don't finish an episode without our second our sweet our highlight and our low light from the week laura do you want to kick it off what's your suck for the week my suck is that i'm sick and it sucks okay solid yeah but also i think sometimes it's a bit it's a

bit tricky when you got kids because when you're sick you just don't get to go to bed and you don't get to give your body what it needs and recover because your kids go it's 5 30 wake up molly's new thing is that she lays in bed and just screams mama from her bedroom until i come and get into bed with her and give her a cuddle in her bed so that's what we do every morning now it's cute can you not just train her to come to you here boy with a cup with a coffee doesn't work yet yeah so look i mean being a bit sick and losing my voice is not the easiest or best or funnest thing when you're required to talk for a job but anyway my sweet for the week i've had such an i had such a good week we had some huge things happening over at tony may we had a launch this week for

our new collection it is called Athena it is I've just been working we've all been working so hard on it and it's just this one thing that it's like this massive build-up when you have a collection launch and then all of a sudden you just put it out into the world and you're like there you go you're like please please come back yeah I hope you like it and so that has been happening but then I also got to spend Sunday with Marley and we just hang out like we just like powered down like little besties me and I saw you doing some painting in the yard what we did is we got potatoes cut them in half and then use them as stamps that yeah I remember doing that as a kid I got really back to my old school like what I would learn from watching play school but never

actually did myself cute so that's what I did that was my week well my suck I've already told you the huge suck but I'm gonna tell you a little mini suck that accompanied the huge suck that I haven't spoke about yet so I got scammed right had to go and move my house blah blah blah when I was sitting in the car having the breakdown crying because like you couldn't script this I was sitting there I was bawling my eyes out and it was on dusk like it was starting to get dark because that was how late in the day it was you're like because I sat there for so long I was in there for 25 hours so why is it though that we always end up crying in a car like why is that the place because it's a safe place where you think that no one can see you and you're not ready

for me how often do you like pull up your car and you don't get out of the sometimes you want to sit in your car for hours you scroll you don't want to face whatever's in the house well it's like a cocoon isn't it it's like when you feel sad I feel like the equivalent would be going and sitting in your cupboard, but no one's going to do that. So why the fuck do we sit in our car for so long? I reckon some people do. I'm really sad. I'm going to go sit in my cupboard for a little while. Maybe you have a walk-in wardrobe. I was, I was having my little cry and it was on dust. So it wasn't very light. And then this family of surfers had come up from Bondi beach and they were going to put their, all their stuff. There were like two kids with

surfers and the dad, and they were going to put their surfboard in the car. They mustn't have been able to see me at the start. Anyway, you could hear the dad say, just put your surfboard down and I'll put it in the car in a minute then you hear him just smash the surfboard into my car smashed in my new car smashed into the side then I had this moment where the dad looked up at me into he looked at the car then looked and saw that I was in the car crying I was crying I was bawling my eyes out looking at him and he looked at me and his face was so shock horror then he registered that I was crying then I looked at him and I just said you know what don't even worry I don't even care I was like just get in your car and go away I didn't even get out to look at it

I was like just go I was like today I'm not dealing with anything else today so that was my suck but anyway they say it comes in threes I gotta wait for one more thing I think what is your sweet oh yeah I was about to wrap up the episode I know I was like that's me done my sweet is that uh I guess Laura and I and I'm just this is pretty shit because I'm teasing you a little bit but Laura and I have been working really hard on something else like a secret squirrel project that's really close to coming and it's taken us a long time and it's almost time to tell you about it almost time to tell you about it means we've almost finished no but it means we've almost finished the work on it so my sweet is that like the hard part's almost done and

we almost get to you know share it with you guys so it's about two weeks away is like the timeline but we have been working on a really awesome project which we are very excited to share with you i love that you baited this and it is coming very very soon just not soon enough yeah so that's it two more weeks sit tight and that is it from us please keep your accidentally unfiltered coming in your ask uncuts anything confessionals any funny stories that you want keep it coming into the instagram life uncut podcast that is sliding into the dms if you aren't already a member of the facebook group you can join life uncut discussion group which is where all the juicy good stuff goes down you can also send us a question for ask uncut which is every single

thursday and you know the drill don't forget to tell your mom tell your dad tell your dog tell your friends and share the love because we love love oh my god your voice it's fucking gone now guys it is say that again it's gone hopefully we'll see you on thursday floor we can speak Thanks for watching!