Life Uncut - Offcuts: Is Kelly Clarkson In The Wrong? Standing In A Car Park Is Illegal & The Tinder Swindler Launches A Dating App

Episode Date: October 16, 2026

Hey Lifers! Welcome to Offcuts, your little weekend snack!  Brittany is off doing other work this week, so Producer Soph has been called up from the producers’ chair to co host with Laura. Soph also has a very important question: is it weird to go to a dog park when you don’t have a dog? Then Laura has a big update of her own: Poppy has taken her first steps (and Matt’s reaction was far too calm for Laura’s liking). Plus, a question that has divided the studio: which part of your foot do you use on the accelerator and the brake? Spoiler: one of us uses only her big toe. Next, the story that Laura vetoed and everyone else overruled. Kelly Clarkson walked into a small Brooklyn shop, wanted a $15,000 wooden bird, and says she was treated like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.  Then Transport for NSW has officially confirmed that you cannot reserve a car park by standing in it, and it comes with a $94 fine. Laura shares her unhinged Bondi Junction car park story from when she was eight months pregnant, and Soph reveals the most powerful day bed move she has ever witnessed on a cruise ship. We close out with the Tinder Swindler, Simon Leviev, who is reportedly launching his own dating app called Safe Love. We unpack why this is horrifying, and look at the Singapore government’s AI matchmaking app. Would you let a panel of experts pick your partner?  Soph and Lachy also have their very first episode of Producers Cut on Patreon this Thursday, so go and subscribe if you haven’t already! Timestamps: 0:00 Welcome Producer Soph! 2:03 Is it weird to go to a dog park without a dog? 5:03 Poppy’s first steps 7:54 Which part of your foot do you drive with? 10:31 Kelly Clarkson vs the $15,000 wooden bird 20:18 Can you reserve a car park by standing in it? 23:59 Laura’s Bondi Junction car park rage story 30:15 The Tinder Swindler’s new dating app Keep your questions coming! Slide into the Life Uncut DMs at @lifeuncutpodcast on Instagram Join us on Patreon for exclusive content and bonus episodes You can watch us on Youtube Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Hosted by Britt Hockley & Laura Byrne Fill in Host  Sophie Nathan Produced by Lachy Pugsley Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford & Lachy Pugsley Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! XxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. And I'm Producer Sof. It's Producers Sof. Oh, Brittany's left us. She is doing something very exciting right now and I've got the last minute call up. How do you feel? I'm actually a little bit nervous. Oh, don't be. No, there's a difference between. So I jump in the Wednesday episodes with you guys and I'll tell you, it is so much fun sitting on that producer's chair and just chiming in every now and again. And watching the chaos unfold. And watching the chaos. And sometimes I do see your face. and you're a bit like, where the fuck is this conversation going and what are they talking about? And I love it. I'm all there for it. I kind of feel like now I am part of the chaos. And sometimes,

sometimes, Laura. You're well and truly entrenched in it, my love. Sometimes I'm thinking things when you guys are talking. And then I'm very glad afterwards that I didn't say what I was thinking. But now, unfortunately now, you don't really, yeah, you can't sit on the sidelines. No, but Britt is, is, so she's not on this episode in case anyone wasn't aware. It's not baby related. She's not already taking time off for that reason. She's doing other work. She just booked a schedule up and she was busy and she was like, hey guys, just letting you know, I'm not going to come to records today. Sof, can you do it? And now here I am. First thing, a few little housekeeping things first. Obviously, you're listening to our off-cuts episode. Nom, nom, nom, nom, not getting away without that.

Yum, yum, yum. And this is your little snack for the weekend. All the things that we've been talking about in our WhatsApp group that either haven't made it onto the main episodes or we just needed a place for it. And so here we are. Okay. So before we get into the group chat because we got lots of juicy content this week, including one thing that Laura vetoed and I said, no, we must talk about it. The people must know. But before we get there, I have a question for you, Laura, because I did something last weekend and I'm considering doing it again and I'm not sure if it's weird and I think I need a little help. I did something last weekend and I'm thinking about doing it again. Adel. How was it? Yeah, that's what I'll come to my boss asking.

Do you need some help? dog related and that's really bad. Oh shit, I didn't hear that. Sorry. I only hear what I want to. Brittany's also self-appointed herself as HR and she's not here. So I'm sorry. Okay. Last weekend, I went with a friend and their dog and we went for this gorgeous walk at a dog park. Let me tell you how much joy it brought me. I am absolutely a dog gal, a doggie gal, some might say. Following the anal chat, I don't know if you should. yourself that so anyway went to this dog park loved it love patting dogs i was fostering earlier in this year my beautiful foster dog got adopted it was very happy sad beautiful i thought about it

loved this dog park so much and went you know what i'm going to go back this weekend by myself i don't have a dog would it be weird if i go to a dog park just to you know frolic with the puppies and give them little pets and stuff but i don't have a dog i think it's okay look i'm that against it. I think if you are genuinely a dog person, you don't have your own dog and you're not being weird about it. It's not like a hanging out in kids park. It's a dog park. But here's where I go, how do I make it less weird? Just don't roll around on the ground with the Doberman. Like just go and give it a pat and then walk away. I think you've got to know where the limit is and the line is. So it's like a five second jump and jump out kind of thing. Because if you took Buster to a dog

park and a random woman came up and patted your dog and you went, oh, which one's yours? And she goes, none. I just come here to pat the dogs. Yeah. I actually think I'd think she was great. I think I'd be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because like if you love dogs that much, you're a good person, right? You're someone who loves animals. You want to be around them. That's like a nice use of your time. And I don't think anyone's being like, oh, that's so weird. That person was patting my dog. I think if you own a dog, you're so used to people being like, oh, come here. Like giving it a plague. Yeah. And there's two, different types of people. There's people that like, you could walk up to a cafe or whatever and you have a dog. And there's the person who gravitates to them and absolutely loves that they're there. And then

there's people that's like, can you just move your dog away from me? You know what kind of person or who that is. So I feel like, I know, I don't know. I'm not against it. I think that it's kind of cute. You can also just take Buster and then therefore have a dog. That's why I said it would be less weird. So maybe I will just borrow people's dogs with permission. When you say you went and did this already? Yes. How did it go for you? Did it fill the cup? I went with a friend with the dog. So I had the experience with a dog and I loved it and I was very close to the roll around but I stopped myself. But there were several dogs. I was in dog heaven, padded all of them and went, I'm going to go back next weekend just by myself if I need to. I'm just imagining

being at the dog park. There's like a pack of dogs rolling around having a play and there's soap in the middle with a ball in her mouth. That's our producer. There she is. Okay, well I feel really good. Maybe you know what? It's a little Saturday now. Watch out dog parks in Sydney. I'm coming for you. I have an update of my own. It's only small, but it's really exciting. Poppy took her first steps. She took three steps. Actually, she has done it twice now. So the first time, I was in the shower and she was downstairs with Matt. And I get out of the shower and Matt goes, oh, babe, Poppy took a step. And I was like, sorry, are you joking? And he's like, no, she took a step. And I was like, why are you, there's no level of, like, excitement? I was like, did you, did you clap? Like, did you, did you? Why didn't

yell at me in the shower. Why don't you yell at her? Like, it's an exciting time. And he was a bit like, oh, it's just, it happened quickly. And then I kind of thought he was lying. I was like, oh, maybe you're just saying it to get a rise out of me. Because you weren't there, kind of like, oh, she did it around me. I don't know. I don't know what I thought. His response was so anticlimactic. Yeah. Anyway, a few hours later, he's like, what? She'll do it again. And he like stood her up. And she just waddled three little steps. And I short-circuited. I was so excited. So I think I made up for his lack of enthusiasm, but I'm still confused that there wasn't more enthusiastic. Like, you gave me more enthusiasm. Well, it's exciting. I mean, last week you posted a video of if you saw it on

Instagram, you plopped her out and she kind of froze, like you did when you found out Brooke was pregnant. She just mimicked you. She takes up to me. She did look like a little, like a tiny little golem. She just like, er, a little uggar. But even watching that on Instagram, I was bicariously, yep, not by curious. Bicariously. Vicariously. That's the word I'm looking for. I was bicariously. I saw that at your Instagram. Sorry. I was by curiously looking at your Instagram.

That's another story. Then I saw the video you posted of Poppy. I mean, both things work. Yeah, vicarious was the word I was looking for. I was so excited. I was watching that going, oh my God, she's so close. Like her little legs and her little toe she's about to get there. And then Matt's just like, yeah.

Couple of steps. Didn't care. Didn't care. I mean, I think he does care. But, I mean, it's the third kid. You really know your third kid vibes when your dad's like, oh, well, it was going to happen sooner rather than later, wasn't it? So how is she now? Is she kind of getting up a little bit more and exploring?

Nah, she's pretty lazy. Slow burn. Yeah, she's pretty late. She's like, I've done it. I've done it. And now I'm going to sit here. Prove it. Like, carry me.

She likes to be carried everywhere. And I do also like carrying her everywhere. So I think I'm an enabler of the lack of effort that she puts in as a one-year-old. You'll still be carrying her at five. to school. I hope. I hope. Anyway, it's very cute. First three steps. It's like a big milestone just past her first birthday. Yeah. Congratulations, Poppy. You're out there slaying. Hey, I have a very quick question for you before we get into what we actually did prep for this episode. Question number one is, when you drive your car, or you're driving a car, what part of your foot do you use

on the accelerator and the brake? And I say, do you use your whole foot? And if not the whole foot, And I'm talking when you don't have your shoes on, right? Bare foot. Do you use your whole foot or do you use a part of the foot? I am doing the gesture now. I'm just getting in the zone. I use the ball of my foot and the toe. So probably the top half.

I've got really long skinny feet just to paint a picture for everybody. So I probably just use the top half. You probably only need half. Prove it. We'll put it on our YouTube for anyone who hasn't seen so sweet yet. There they are. Yeah, I just use the top half. The heel will never go on.

That's not a thing. That will rest on the floor. No, because the heel has to stay on the floor. Well, you're asking me if my whole foot goes on the pittles. No, it's because, okay, I saw someone talking about this on another podcast, and it made me realize, I only use my big toe. Oh, no. I just use my big toe. How big is your big toe?

It's powerful. But if I'm using like an accelerator, I'm braking with just my big toe. Do not let the government hear this. You'll be banned from driving. Just my, does everything. I don't even need to move it. I just use my big toe. that stresses me out. I just got a bit sweaty thinking about that because what do you mean?

There's just no control. What if you slip? What if your toes go fandangling on the side? No, I feel like my toe. It's very, it's got a lot of grip. No, I'm all ball, all ball. And all toe. All of them get the contact right there. I'm curious. And I say this because it really, once I realized it, it felt like a real discovery for me. When you've got no shoes on and you're driving your car, I need to know, life is, I need to know, are you using a full foot? Are you using Half foot? Are you using just big toe? I've got another follow-up question for your toe. Are you using the...

Do you specifically want my toe to answer? I mean, you can do it. You can demo. Are you moving your foot so your toe moves? Or are you moving the toe individually? No, I'm moving the whole foot so that the toe moves with the foot. Because I was quite impressed if it was just like the individual toe pressing up and down. I think I could just move the individual toe. I don't think it's something we test.

Now, this was brought up into the group chat and it was Vee. by Laura, but I do think we need to talk about this. It wasn't vetoed. I just didn't understand the depth of the investment. And then I walked into the studio today and I was overruled by everyone. Everyone was like, how are you not following this story? Yeah. So we need to bring it to you. If you haven't heard, Kelly Clarkson, a $15,000 wooden bird and a whole lot of drama. So to give you a bit of the backstory, Kelly Clarkson has gone on a bit of a rant online. I'm going to read you what she said. I just drove all the way to Brooklyn to check out the store I thought looked really rad and had a few things in mind to buy. I was looked at as if I couldn't afford it and was told

go find something comparable for me. Wow dude, you're an idiot. You've just lost a huge sale. But if you want, go check out art of play in Brooklyn if you enjoy being treated like Julia Roberts and pretty woman. For sure, check it out. So she really might drop. She named the store Art of Play And then all chaos hit the fan. Now, this is a very small store. Art of Play immediately spoke back, and this is all over a wooden bird. So Kelly Clarkson goes into the store. She sees a wooden bird on the wall.

Art of Play is this magician kind of shop, a magic shop. It encourages people to go in and play and touch things and try things out. This wall bird, you can spin a little wheel and it like chirps and moves and whatever. And she really wants this $15,000 bird. 15,000 US as well, mind you. It's like 21,000. This was the Art of Play's immediate reply. Yesterday, Kelly Clarkson visited us and inquired about Molly, our one-of-a-kind singing, dancing bird, who plays an important role in the magic

that we host. Molly is permanently attached to the wall and is not for sale. The negative experience Kelly described would resonate with anyone who has even felt judged in a shop. At Art of Play, whether someone comes in to make a purchase or look around, they are all equally welcome. Imagine our surprise when our small local business was attacked by 8 million people who have never visited our store. It has been a surreal experience to the focus of such outrage after one mentioned by a celebrity. So this is where we're at is Kelly Clarkson has complained at a very small store.

The small store is going, we are now getting worldwide abuse. The bird wasn't for sale. It gets juicier. There's more to this. I think that now it's kind of reached this point where Kelly Clarkson's fired back again with evidence that the bird was for sale. And like, okay, there's more layers. We can get into it all. But I think that there is a conversation here around whether or not it is appropriate when you have as much power as someone as Kelly Clarkson, even if you feel a certain way, even if you feel as though you have been wronged by a small business or you've been insulted or whatever it is, is the punishment worth the crime? Because ultimately, she has the capacity to end a small business to totally tarnish their reputation, their name, their capacity for earning. She's a multi, multi, multi, multi, multi millionaire who's walking her. around going to buy a $21,000 bird.

Like, the woman's not short of a penny. But because she felt insulted in that moment, she felt entitled to almost shut down a business. Like, I don't know. For me, I'm not saying that she is completely in the wrong. I'm not saying that she didn't experience what she experienced. But I don't know whether pointing your entire army towards a small business is the right avenue either.

It is hard because in today's day and age, you cannot get a response from a business if they do wrong unless really you take them to socials. And I know this from personal experience of friends, say for like a clothing store, for instance. They haven't got replies from emails. They have tried to contact the business if they've got something that is broken or they need to return. And they get no response. The only response they ever got was when they messaged publicly and commented and said, hey, tried to contact you a million times. Your clothes came burnt in a package. There was a cigarette burn in my t-shirt. contact us and the brand contacted them immediately. And it was like the only way that people were

getting the attention and actually the retribution or the response, the resolution. Yeah, but the thing with that is, is even that there's a difference between like posting on someone's social media where like a hundred people are going to see it versus posting publicly on your own platform when you have eight million followers. Like that's a different kind of responsibility. And I also, I say this as a business, right? Like if that is her one experience, it doesn't mean that it's necessarily representative of what the store represents in total. It could have been one shitty employee, one shitty sales staff, and now you've tarnished an entire business because of one person who'd been employed there. We don't know if it was the owner. We don't know if it's the person

that represents the entire brand. There's definitely been times, I feel very grateful I have incredible staff at Tony May. This is not a blanket statement. But there have been times over the 16 years that I have had Tony May, where we have had floor staff in the shop that just haven't been up to scratch. And I have been lucky enough in some instances where people have messaged me directly and said, hey, I had a not so great experience in the store and I wanted to let you know about it versus writing a Google review or writing something that like I can't resolve. Do you know what mean? And the damage is done before the resolution can take place. I think in this case, I agree with that. I think she has gone public and it's gone insane. I think the problem though

with the business is you in that instance, say with Tony May, you want to. You want to. make the resolution and you would probably listen to the customer being like, hey, X, Y and Z happened in the store, really wasn't stoked, you were listening to it. I think the problem in this case scenario and why it's gone so viral is the differing opinions are so different. The owner is coming out saying the bird was never for sale. It's all hearsay. Kelly Clarkson is lying.

And I think that's where people are pissed off going, well, yeah, Kelly Clarkson is detonating on a small business. But you've kind of come out and lied. There's photos of the price tag of the bird. There's like CCTV footage. It's now blown up because there was a lack of transparency and wanting to get the story correct. They could have come out and said, you know what? Yeah, bad employee.

It was a bad day. We're so sorry that happened. And instead they went, you're lying. I think, yeah, when there's like lack of accountability, I guess is what it is in this instance. But still, even with lack of accountability, is it still enough to potentially, destroy someone's business. Like some individual's livelihood, is it enough? I don't know. And, you know, the problem is, and what happens in these scenarios is like that 8 million people who are leaving negative reviews on Google Review, who are like emailing, bombarding social media,

they have never been to the store. They've never experienced the store, you know, and there's not enough. The problem is when you take a profile that's as big as this versus a small business that has a tiny profile, their devout customer base, who's maybe had an incredible experience, is simply not big enough to undo this. And I guess what I don't like about it is it means that one bad footing in the wrong hands has the potential to undo everything that you've done that's good. I agree. But you love this.

I'm so invested. I have two more questions for you. Okay. Firstly, they have got more publicity and more marketing from this than they ever would. I think the shop is going to be more successful because of this. They're not. I don't know if I believe in the idea of all publicity is good publicity. Like, I really don't. I think that negative publicity, depending on what your brand stands for, what your company is, what your profile is,

unless you're someone like Kyle Sanderlands, yeah, sure, all publicity is good publicity. But if you're a brand or a company that's built on values or built on something that is not congruent with what is being said about you, then people are like, hey, you're not who we thought you were. Or you're, you know, faking or you're like, a ingenuine representation of what you say you want to be. Do you know what I mean? And so I kind of reject the idea that just because there's eyeballs on a business, if those eyeballs aren't paying customers, interested customers or supporting customers, it's not necessarily going to translate into dollars in that person's bank account. Yeah. Second question then, would your opinion be different if this was a massive conglomerate, big, big international business? Yes. And the reason for that

is because they can protect themselves. And I think that it's not one individual person at the end of that that's like that you know it's not sitting around a table being able to feed your family because the business has made no money because it's been decimated that's a different I guess sense of responsibility and I think I would feel differently if you walked into one store and had an experience because like the reality is it's just say I'm going to use I'm not trying to pick a brand that's not going to be angry Taj Mart let's call it that okay you walk into Tajmart you have a terrible experience with one of the customer service people there right the staff you know that that person's just an employee, right? And so, like, even if you're so, so mad, like, it's happened recently

with Coles and something that happened at Coles, ultimately, that person acted in a way that is not representative of the brand's ethos values. And it's like that staff employee has taken it upon themselves to do X, Y, Z. It's really easy for them to come out, for Taj Mart or Coles or whoever to come out and say, hey, call words, to say, it's just not true. That's not who we are, and it's not what we represent. And they have the marketing budget to correct what has been said about them, whereas a tiny business simply doesn't have that. There's no knowing who this salesperson was. We don't know if it was the owner. We don't know if it was a random 14 year old boy that was employed to work there. Like, you just don't know. And I think that like,

once again, going back to where I said at the start, the damage that it can cause simply doesn't fit the crime. And she may have been very offended that they had assumed that she didn't have enough money. But I think being like, oh, it was a pretty woman moment. It conjures a lot of emotions. And I think that there is still the possibility that there was a misinterpretation in this as well. Finally, we have an answer, an answer to the age-old dilemma. Am I looking at your Instagram for bisexual reasons? Thank God we haven't answered that. No, it is, okay, whether or not you are allowed to reserve a car park.

Like, we've all been in the situation where we've been driving around, hunting around desperately, pathetically for a car park. Maybe it's Christmas time and you're at your busier shopping centre. and there's some flog standing in the middle of a car park. Tell us how you really feel. Waiting for their mom or husband or sister or whatever it is who's like 17 cars away, who doesn't have a right to that car park, but they're standing there like a human bollard.

And you have to just drive on pass. So I feel very strongly about this. I think it's- Which way? I could never get it. It's such a dog move. So you've never stood in a car park to reserve a park. Not since I was seven years old. My mom made me do it as a kid.

But no, since being a child. Since being a child, I've never done it. And I would never ask someone to stand in a car park. It really screams like nana in the 90s. It's something my nan would have done. Shirley, Philippi would have stood in that car park and you would have been terrified to ask her to move. But now we have an official answer of, because it has always been the question of can you actually do it? Okay, before we go to the official answer, what are your thoughts on it?

I feel passionately about it. I hate it. I hate when I see people doing it. Would you do it? I have hypotheticals, okay? Let me run you through a hypothetical situation first. You're driving down a road and you see a car park on the other side of the street. You see it first.

No other one around. You're not 17 cars back. Shirley's not there in her car. And you're like, okay, I need to do a Ui. There's no space around here. Bloody Patricia, jump out. You just stand there. I'm going to Ui.

By the time you Ui, some other cars driven past and is beeping at Patricia. Who's in the wrong? Patricia. Who's standing in the car park? I was going to say that would be, I haven't done it, but I can see the legitimacy in like that type of moment, but then you can't rule one moment. So what happens? I mean, like, the person who is trying to get into the car part, but there's a human standing there, there is a standoff that can happen. Because like the other person can't park their car for as long as the person who's trying to park their car is in the way. Wait, is this bad? Because if I was driving the car in the reverse and say Patricia's standing there and I'm getting pissed off at Patricia, I would just keep moving my car like closer.

and closer and closer. I wouldn't head her, obviously. In the scheme of which is more illegal, that one probably is. If you're like nudging a human with your car, I didn't say I had her. I'd be doing it with just my big toe, getting closer and closer. Well, that would be more risky. At least I've got more control. Okay, the reason why this has come up is because Transport for New South Wales posted this like only a couple of days ago. And it was all about whether you can or can't reserve a car park by standing in it. And thank God the gods are finally spoken. And they've said, this. Let's get to the bottom of this. Short answer is no. You can't reserve or mind a parking space for your mate. This is really annoying as well as illegal and unsafe. Pedestrians must not cause a traffic

hazard by moving into the path of a driver. So not only is it a dodgy move, but it could also see you getting a fine for doing so. In New South Wales, we like to fine for everything. So I'm not surprised. I'm not surprised. But I feel like what? The fine is down here, $94 on the spot. Do I get to give the fine if I'm the one in the car? You get a cut? Like, I'm okay, yeah, I'm for it now. I'm all for it. I'll take 20%. Oh, yeah, I commissioned the fine. I'm here waiting to get into the spot. I've told the story before, but like, I'm sure a lot of you haven't heard it. It was just before Lola was born. So I was like eight months pregnant. It was Christmas time. I was in Bondi Junction Shopping Center. I had Marley in the car. So she was like one and a half.

I was enormous. And the shops were insane. I think it was Christmas Eve. And I was just trying to duck in to something that I'd accidentally forgotten. And I drove around for so long. She was in the car screaming and there's this one area of Bonnet Junction car park, which is for Prams. And I spotted a car park and I was like, great, I'm going to go and get the car park. It was very evident that I was getting the car park. There was no confusion.

Everyone that was in that area saw I had my blinker on, but I had to wait for this one person to reverse that was on the other side first. So I was like literally right there, but they were just popping out. someone who had a slightly smaller car than me zoomed around the corner and she parked the car because she could get an easy act she saw me there, we made eye contact she knew she just

absolutely fucking like snuck my part flog central that's the worst and I wound down my window and I was like she had no kids either nothing she was just just walking around living life free without children and I wound my window down and I was like I can't remember what I said I wasn't particularly rude or anything

but I was clearly unimpressed And I was like, dude, like, what the hell? You don't have kids. I've got kids in the car screaming. I was waiting for that park. And she goes, it's your fault for having children. And I was like, I will kill you. I called Matt and I was like, I'm going to spit on her car.

I'm going to break her windscreen wipers off. I would never be. Matt was like, don't do it. And I was like, I will buy a milkshake and I'll dump it in her front seat. Oh, my. I cannot imagine. I feel the rage in me even just for telling the story again. Oh my God.

I will shit on her windshield. Did you, okay. Did you do anything? I did nothing. I called Matt and Matt was like talking me down off the edge. He's like, Laura, it's a very busy car park. People will see you. And they'll be like, oh, it's that girl from the back to like taking a dump on a window.

It's so strange. What would you do? What's like an appropriate revenge in that instance? No, do you know what I did say back to her and it was really, look, it wasn't my finest moment. She was like, it's your fault for having children. And I was like, I wish your mother. I never had children. It was unhinged.

Marley was in the back and she was like, why are you yelling? I don't think we need revenge after that. I think you did just fine. Do you think? Maybe I am in the wrong. Anyway, whatever. $94 on the sport penalty notice if you stand in a park. When we proved this, I was going to go a whole other route.

I don't even know if we can now. That really cinched the deal. Okay, I think we realize you don't stand in parking spots. You don't piss off Laura when she's parking. Especially not at Christmas time. Very Christmas, everyone. Oh my gosh. I was actually going to say, do you think this extends, though?

Like, I'm glad we've figured out that you'll get fine for this, because it does piss me off. People shouldn't stand in parks. This happens everywhere over different things, reserving stuff. So say at the beach, reserving a picnic table or a beach lounger at a hotel, people go down early and put their towels down and put their bags on stuff. That's changed now. So, like, the reserving beach pool chairs at a lot of hotels. So that is, like, a big thing at a lot of, like, the resorts.

So when we were in Bali, we were staying in a place and they have a half an hour limit. If you leave bags on a chair unattended for more than half an hour and they have people going around logging the bags that are unattended on chairs, they'll just collect them and they'll put them at the side of the pool. So they have half an hour limit. But they have a half an hour, hard limit that if you have not attended your belongings within half an hour, they'll get taken off the chairs and they're free for someone else to use. Okay, what's your opinion on it though?

Would you do it? Would you reserve? I would reserve if it's within the half an hour. But I would never, ever, ever put my things on a daybed, expecting that I had the ownership of it. Like, the people would go down like 5am in the morning, flock to the daybeds, and then go and do breakfast, have a sauna, go for a swim, and then just like fap around. Like, I would never do that. Because I have a situation that happened.

I didn't quite cuss out a lady and tell her I wish it'd never been born, but I got sat on. So let me tell you about this. Now, I went on a cruise. And actually, the funniest thing is it was the same cruise that Laura went on. It's like a three day out of Sydney. And I went with my nana. It was for her birthday, I think a 70th or something. And we did a girls cruise.

So it was my nana, my auntie, my mum and me. And on the cruise, they have these beautiful, big, circular day beds on the top. In the Byron Beach Club? Yeah, no, not even in the beach club. You know, the ones on the side that are just a free-for-all, anyone can use them? Oh, no, I didn't. I was always in the Byron Beach Club. Fancy.

That's why I'm working for you. So I think there's about eight. They're a free-for-all. And I went up one morning. And having a look around, they're always so hard to nab. Because they're a free-for-all, people go there super early, they chuck their stuff on, they leave. And I saw one, and it had a towel on it. Nothing else.

Just a towel, there were some shoes nearby, but not enough that. Also, I was like, fuck your shoes. Like, you've got a towel that's also the cruise ship towel, so it's not a different towel. I went, right, I'm going to go sit there. So I sat down, and I see this man, and he's probably like 50 odd. And he's with his kids. He says nothing to me. He comes right over to the chair and sits, like, right on my legs.

And I just, I'm baffled. This man has literally just sat on me and calls his children over. So he was in the pool playing. So he did actually have the daybed. He wasn't just minding the daybed. He was just going for a swim. Well, I don't know. No, that's different.

Why? Because he's not in the breakfast bar. He's just gone for a swim. But I don't know if he was swimming. It was like, a man. minute or so later he comes and he sits on me. And if someone comes back within a minute of you sitting down, it means that you just took their chair.

But I also, what a huge flex that he sat on you. And I went, oh, hello. And he goes, yeah, we're sitting here. I was like, same. Evidently. And I said same. And I was like, wow, what a power move. Because I felt so uncomfortable with this man sitting on me.

I just got up. And I was like, okay, sir, see you later. And then obviously you're stuck on a cruise ship. So you see that man four times every day. I see him in the breakfast bar. I was like, it's the man who's sad on me. All right, another thing brought to the group chat this week, which we all just had a moment where I think we read the headline and went,

this can't be a real thing. Let me just read it to you. Tinder Swindler, Simon Leviv, plans to launch his own dating app, which is horrific. Because, I mean, firstly, if you guys remember, the Tinder Swindler. We interviewed Cecilia and Panilla, which were the two women, the main women of that documentary ages ago, who were swindled out of hundreds of thousands of dollars. And the guy who is the Tinder Swindler, he faced such little criminal charges in terms of

like the length of time he spent in prison, like what he actually was charged for versus how much money and how much debt and the disruption that caused to their lives. It was insane. The documentary is fascinating. also the chat, if you want to go listen back to that, I will pop it in the show notes. We'll link it for you. But essentially, yeah, he ripped off these women of so much money. He was fraud, all these allegations. He got, what, 15 months in prison, that was it.

And now he has decided that he is going to make a dating app called Safe Love. And the reason he claims this is because he says, oh, well, I know all of the scams. I know all of the fraud. I know what it means to be a bad person. So I'm going to protect you from the bad people. It's just beffling. I wish we could laugh about it in a way because it is so outrageously ridiculous. But of course, he does make a good point.

He does know all of those things. But you know when you sign up to a dating app and you've got to like give over all your personal details like your date of birth, you've got to give over like whatever sort of like personal logins that you have, all this. Imagine giving that over to the guy who swindled $400,000 for some poor woman. There's not going to be any rational normal person who's like, the guy knows what he's talking about. Except in the fact that desperate for love, that he will sign up. He will know which ones are.

I would guarantee that if I presented him a list of say if I was on a dating app, there were 10 potential suitors that I was looking at and I gave them to this man. I reckon he could pick the bad ones. Yeah, but do you think that someone who is that criminally motivated and who is that void of any sort of ethics or compassion or like sense of remorse, is going to build something that in its essence actually is taking care and looking after people. Like there has to be. Not in the slightest. But it's just like for what purpose and what gain is he trying to create this? Like what does he make out of this? I don't really understand. What do you think? Okay, we're going to put ourselves in the minds of a criminal right now because we all think this is

ludicrous. He obviously deserved a whole lot more ramifications than he really got for what he did. So put yourself in the mind of this man. Why is he doing this? Why is he making this safe love app? to take advantage of people. There's no, there can't be another reason. No one is that level of reformed. I mean, the amount of conversations we've had on here where it's like, people don't change that much. They fucking don't. I'm sorry, you don't go from being the Tinder swindler to be like, do you know what? Having my own dating app is actually a fantastic idea. And I think women will sign up because they will trust me that I will know and I can help them find a better person because I know what to look at for. The whole thing, it seems like it has to be satirical.

It seems like it has to be a joke. And when the headline was first, in the content prep. I was like, this is fake news. And then the more, it's real. No, it's real news. He has been blocked, though.

There's been a petition that's been put in place to stop him from being able to make an app or to be able to put this into production because there has to be certain levels that safeguard app approvals and app product, like not the creation of them, but the application of them for people to be able to download and give over their information. Yeah, so the international consortium of investigative journalists found out that this was actually in the works and getting made. And then they have reported it and sent letters to both Apple and Google so that it can be

potentially cancelled. But the crazy thing is, is this was in the works. Someone is footing the bill. Someone was doing this. And he has been on like ITV morning show talking about this app. Do you know what it is though? Looking at this from slightly different perspective, I think that there would be validity in a con man like this working, say, and I'm not saying like working for government in terms

of having access to things that are restricted, but like advising government. You know, like advising, if he genuinely was like, look, I know how people con, I know how to scam, I know intrinsically how these things work. The problem with his is that so much it was done through emotional manipulation. But if he really was like, I've learned my lesson and I actually can teach on this, then like that's an avenue. There is actually probably an insight that would be interesting and useful, but monetizing that and also having access to people's personal information and really, I guess, like,

private information that could be used against them, that to me just screams, gets a disaster waiting to happen. But once again, it feels as though it is a black mirror project. It feels as though it's not real. There's been so many news headlines lately that have felt so black mirror-esque. I think we're in that time of the world where technology, particularly AI, I mean, we've done a few chats on the pod recently about it. So we're kind of like seeing all these AI headlines and thinking, oh my God, we can't be too heavy AI on the pod. But there's just just so many crazy things. Speaking of dating apps, there was one I sent in the chat a couple weeks ago where Singapore, their government has created a dating app, which is using AI to match you

through an algorithm with your perfect person. Would you trust the Australian government to find you a husband? Not the Australian. Imagine that Albanese was like, I've got the man for you. Here he is. Do you know what? Not the government. But if you told me that they had got a panel of relationships, experts. I would, okay, imagine if it was like the maths experts, but without the idea that it's production value, TV value, if you had a panel of 15 experts in this, they are partnership, counselors, therapists, love doctors, whatever it is. If you had a panel of 15 people and you told me that they were reviewing my profile, they were going through everything and they would pick me my match, I would sign up tomorrow. Do you know that there was, I mean, there was an AI dating app that

existed temporarily in Australia. It failed because there just wasn't enough people that were actually using the app. But Claire spoke about it on the pod a couple of years ago, Claire, who works for us. She's basically like AI generated what it thought was the perfect match for you. It presented you with a match. You didn't know when, where, how you were going to meet up with them. It just basically gave you a date, gave you a location and you agreed and you went. And then you got to see who the person was and meet them. I understand what you're saying. But my, I guess like why I wonder if it would work if you had this panel of experts who's choosing for you is because I think that fundamentally a lot of people have like a mismatched radar for what it is

that they actually want. You could sit there and say to a therapist, I want to meet someone, I want this, this, this, this and this. And then that's given to you and it's not actually what you want because you don't know what you want. Hence why you keep dating the same types of people or there's pattern behavior. I think the things that we say we are looking for or the things that we say that we are after, don't always match up to the reality of what we're doing. Bang on. Maybe you make the app. Maybe we made the app. It's a life-uncut dating app. You make their match the complete opposite of what they want.

That's a terrible idea. Brilliant. Let's write it down. It's our next project. I'm going to test it out. I'm going to do it. I'm going to be a millionaire. Anyway, guys, okay, who wants to jump on the life-uncut dating app? Is that our next thing? Are we doing this? We're doing it. We love love. I'll tell Britt. We're going to do it. We're going to do the life-uncutting. I can't dating app. No, it's been also, can I just say how fun this has been? And if anyone has listened to the whole way with me, thanks for staying. Like, I've really loved getting to have a little

nom-nom-nom with you all. If you have enjoyed the episode, go and give some words of affirmation and kindness to so. Also, Sof and Locke are doing a Patreon app. It comes out this coming Thursday. So if you guys haven't, whoever hasn't signed up to Patreon, go sign up. It's $6.99. But this week's episode is Locky and Sof. They have their very first little episode together. I can't wait for it. And that comes out on Thursday. There's also loads of other BTS stuff that is in the Patreon now. And it has been very busy in there.

There is a lot of you now. So welcome to the club, everyone. And you guys, you know the drill. Tell your mom, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends and share the love because we love love.