Life Uncut - Offcuts: Laura’s a Secret Ventriloquist, Henry Cavill's Useless Dating Advice & The Ugly Duckling Theory

Episode Date: April 24, 2026

Hey Lifers! Welcome to your weekend snacky snack. Laura has discovered a hidden talent, ventriloquism. It came out of a three hour drive back from Ulladulla. We also take a trip down memory lane with Healthy Harold the giraffe. Henry Cavill has gone viral for his dating advice: "if you like her, just ask her out. It's always worked for me." The internet has thoughts. We do too. When your face card is Superman, you are officially disqualified from giving the rest of us romantic guidance. We also can't stop talking about little 12-year-old Billie Eilish crying over Justin Bieber and the full circle Coachella moment that just happened that is genuinely the most wholesome thing on the internet right now. Laura had the same energy for Zac Hanson.  Then we unpack the Ugly Duckling Theory. David Haye on I'm A Celebrity described his model girlfriend as having "the personality of an ugly girl" as a compliment. We unpack why the intention doesn't really matter, why this theory only ever gets applied to women, and what it says about how we value women's personalities as a consolation prize for looks. And finally Jimmy Nicholson's lawn war. His neighbour mowed right up to the property line and left Jimmy's one metre strip wild. We debate whether that's un-Australian. ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS 00:00 — Intro  00:37 — Laura is a ventriloquist now  07:52 — Henry Cavill's viral dating advice and why he's not allowed to give it 13:30 — Billie Eilish's 2013 Justin Bieber obsession and the Coachella full circle moment 21:50 — I'm A Celebrity's David Haye and the Ugly Duckling Theory explained 33:15 — Jimmy Nicholson's neighbour mowed only his side of the lawn. Is this un-Australian? You can watch us on Youtube Find us on Instagram Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Hosted by Britt Hockley & Laura Byrne Produced by Keeshia Pettit Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford & Lachy Pugsley Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! XxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany and this is Offcut, your nom nom nom nom nom little bits and pieces of the best of the week coming to you for your weekend snack. Just your little snacky snacks to get you through the weekend everyone. Okay so You hated that, didn't you, Laura? You absolutely hated that intro. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. No, I love it. I'm here for the noms.

I also love that it started as a mistake and now we will never not do the noms. Nom, nom, nom, nom. Yeah, it has to be nom, nom, nom, nom. What have you been numbing this week? Don't please stop. Okay, so you would remember if you listened to last week's Ask Uncut, Keish made a recommendation. It was her vibe of the week.

It's a Netflix series. It's called Trust Me, The False Prophet. It's all about a false prophet named Samuel Bateman who was part of the Latter-day Saints and the cult that was, I guess, created around this Samuel Bateman. Now, the woman who was at the head of this, her name is Christine Murray. I got so deep into this documentary.

The woman who never has time to watch anything, after Keish recommended it, I saw it pop up on Netflix and I was like, all right, I'll watch it. And then we watched pretty much the whole thing in one night. But something came from that, Britt. Now, if you've seen it, you will know that there is a part. Are you a genius in your profit? Where's this going to go?

I've discovered that I'm actually a prophet, everyone, and if you want to join my cult, no. Terrible joke because he is a bad, bad man. No, Christine Murray, who is like the journalist, like she's the filmmaker that's kind of uncovering all of these horrific things that he's doing, right? But there's this one part and it's really weird and it doesn't really fit within the story,

but it's just kind of her giving the background, like her own personal background and kind of like the varied and wonderful life that she lived. I'm going somewhere with this. so just like strapping guys. She was once upon a time a ventriloquist. Okay. The art of ventriloquism, which I feel as though it's a dying breed. You guys remember back in the day, we had Lamb Chop. We had Hey Hey It's Saturday, whatever his name was. Like ventriloquism used to be a thing that for some reason as adults, we would just watch puppets talking on shows.

And that was like the height of free to air TV. Laura, that's how we got our sex education. It It was happy, healthy Harold. He was like putting condoms on bananas and stuff and he was a giraffe ventriloquist. Sorry, your happy, healthy Harold was putting condoms on things? Well, I don't know. I just remember he was that used to – actually, can we unpack that for a second?

You used to go into a dark van with a man and talk about sex with a puppet on his hand. What the fuck? Whoever thought that was a good idea? I know how we can teach the kids about safe sex. Let's put him in a dark van with a strange man. Healthy, happy Harold. No, the one thing I remember is when, was it happy, healthy Harold?

Who even knows? It's happy, healthy Harold. Harold got an upgrade and he went from being a puppet to that fucking frightening electric motored neck that came out of the, like literally, I think you got to year five and up until then it had been a puppet. And then all of a sudden they're like the little curtains open and this electrified giraffe head just goes. safe sex no i didn't get the electronics that's probably lucky maybe i aged out or maybe my mom

wrote me a note to excuse me but i didn't get that pleasure oh my god this is such a walk down memory lane no i discovered on the weekend that i am a ventriloquist i can do it so what no you're not what i am i am i'm really good at it it's a new hidden talent And I think that if Life Uncut goes south, I'm going to take it up as a new career. I'm going to get to stuff my hand up a puppet's ass and I'm going to start doing ventriloquism. You've got to give me something to say. And also the trick is you have to put on a voice. You've got to like be a character for it to work.

Oh, okay. Queen ventriloquist. Now she's got all the rules. Because I'm experienced at this. Okay. If this doesn't work because it's really hard to do it when you're laughing, you can just put in a little video. I'm going to actually send the video to Lockie.

If you're watching this on YouTube, here is actual proof, and now I'm going to do it on the podcast. You have to have a puppet. You can't just – what are you going to – I don't have a puppet. It's not about that. It's about talking without using your mouth. Okay, I'm not going to give you a sentence. I'm going to give you a topic.

Okay. It's really hard. I'm trying to think of something funny. Okay, you're happy, healthy Harold. Hi, kids. Come on into my dark den, and I'm going to – Please don't put that in. okay let me give you a different topic give me a different okay you're on a first date and it's

the end of the date and you want to ask if you can kiss the person all right i also want to make it known that saying m's and b's are really hard because you need your lips for that so i learned that after no you said you're a ventriloquist leaning you can either do it or you can't okay hi i've had a really good time tonight maybe we can nuke out and then go together together what the fuck do you know what it's not bad thank you I also need to wear a turtleneck because if I wear a turtleneck you can't tell that I'm talking the only thing you can tell is like my neck starts vibrating because like I've got mega veins so if I was wearing a turtleneck I feel like I can do it I'll give you another little one okay I'm just gonna tell you about

what I ate for breakfast because trying to be imaginative when I haven't had much sleep is really hard. Okay. Hi everyone. Today I'm going to eat a duck and an egg roll and then I'm going to go out to the supermarket. I don't know. Anyway, so sorry, but I'm pretty sure that it's my new career path. Thank you everyone. Send your children in. I'll entertain them. I'm actually I'm not gonna lie it's pretty good like your lips weren't really moving it was a moment of self-discovery we had a three-hour trip back from Ulladulla in the car and this is how we entertained ourselves for the drive look no one was as shocked as I was that I was actually able to do it but here we are anyway new skill unlocked I can smell a live show coming up

imagine if we do a live uncut live show and I come on stage and start doing ventriloquism everyone's gonna leave yeah you can do that and i can do the magic mic dirty dancing thing together we're unstoppable wow okay i'm gonna try ventriloquist as well now keep in mind i would like to preface this with i have never tried to do this before this is my first time live i'm gonna take the first date scene i had the vert She already fucked it. I had the first time tonight and I was just wondering if it was okay with you. I just can't stop looking at your lips and they're so moist

and I would love to just smack one on you and suck you dry. Oh, I meant on your lips. Suck your lips dry. Would that be okay if I kissed you goodnight? Brittany, you look terrifying and I think we should move on. Was that good though? No. Or not?

oh because i can't i can't see myself it felt good it felt pretty good i don't want to upset you but no okay move on no do you know what do you know what actually i take it back it was great for a first try you did look a little bit terrifying and if you you kind of just look like someone who was talking but with their teeth clenched i need to watch that on instant playback okay all right let's go let's get into the content We've got some good stuff for you today, everyone, I swear. What do you mean let's get into the content? That was content gold.

All right, everyone, let's get into the content. Shut up. Okay, I want to talk very quickly as an opener. It's not huge, but it's something that Henry Cavill has said online that has gone viral. Now, if you don't know who Henry is, he was Superman. Like he's that beautiful, beautiful actor. He was also in The Witcher.

You know The Witcher that went, it's a TV series, I don't think you've seen at laws, but like he's, this guy's one of the, I reckon he's up there in the top five hottest men on the planet. Of course we were doing our research for this, you know, like we really do take these segments seriously and we were doing our research. And part of our research was that we had to look at many images of Henry Cavill. And I will also concur that he is probably one of the most attractive men that has ever walked on the face of the planet. I mean, the guy was Superman for God's sakes. Do you get any more Adonis like than that. It's actually like, I'm looking at him now and he's looking down the barrel of the

camera and I've never felt so seen. I feel like he's looking at me, but he, he's gone viral for what he has said. This is the quote. If you like her, just ask her out. It's always worked for me. So he's, he's basically gone viral for giving this dating advice and he's very like traditional values very chivalrous he's big on the chase and flirting and courting an old school kind of like if you like a woman make it known court her he's even used those words before but this has gone bonkers because he's like hey i'm gonna give you my dating advice if you like her ask her out never fails for me the internet has absolutely erupted because they're like yeah it's always worked for you because you're superman because you're objectively the most beautiful man on the world

if your face card is henry cavill's you actually don't even need to ask her you literally could just look at her and she'll be like, all right, I'll date you. Like, you don't have to put in any effort at all. The internet has done what the internet is going to do. And some of the comments have sent me. Someone wrote, who gonna tell him? The other one said, if you die, just resurrect, said Jesus. If you want it, just buy it, said Elon Musk. Just paint it, said Picasso. Well, if you could kick the ball, just dribble, said Messi. Just build it, Bob the Builder. Like, there are so many of these like and also I love how ridiculously out of touch this seems as dating advice and I almost when I read it and I sent it to you Brit I was like surely surely if you are

this naturally god-given attractive if that's just like how you know if that's just how you've ended up on this planet you are ruled out of being able to give dating advice to anyone you are exempt you whatever you have to say about anything in life is irrelevant because you have not lived a normal life but here's the question right no he hasn't lived a normal life he's superman but here's the question you have to know like I get some people I reckon if you if you sit mid-range in like what society deems as attractive could be acceptable for you to not know that you're hot or attractive but I think if you're a Henry Cavill you have to know like you cannot get through life without knowing how ridiculously good looking you are and I get that he's very humble he's

apparently known in Hollywood I don't know him personally shock he's apparently known to be really like a really nice guy like really down to earth very humble which like just makes it worse he plays chess with his girlfriend he's like I don't know he just seems like a real catch but you have to know how fucking hot you are if you were walking around with that on your face Brit did you actually see this anyway when you're like he's just a really nice guy or is this just like you manifesting what you want when you look into his eyes in the picture right now that's talking to you that's just me I completely agree with you I think that there is no way that he can like feign modesty around this I think if you've been cast as superman the proof is in the pudding

that you are a like objectively extremely attractive man and I think that the lack of awareness around your own pretty privilege is almost like oh doll that's a bit cute like it infantizes him to me a little bit. Like it makes me think he's either like a little bit simple or doesn't comprehend what normal people have to deal with in the dating world. So I don't want to assume he's simple. I almost want to assume that he's, I don't want to say arrogant, but like he's so unaware of what every other person has to experience. The rejections, the feelings of uncertainty, the feelings of, I guess, like fear that someone's going to say no, if you go out and you put yourself out there. It's just like, it's the most benign and infuriating dating advice I

think I have ever seen in my entire life. The last funny comment that I want to say is Chris Evans will say, hang on, Henry is right. It works for me too. Not many things make me go as deep as Henry Cavill does. So I did want to dig a little bit deeper on this. Obviously for research, it was paid research. I did have to go and look at a multitude of pictures of him and quotes from the past but the funny thing is I actually couldn't in my investigations I couldn't pinpoint where this quote came from like no even Claude AI couldn't find the original source and I think what has happened is he's always just said like I guess a variation of these kind of things he's always given dating advice which takes it back to

the start where I said he's quite chivalrous and he's always about the chase and the courting I I think what has happened is, poor Henry, I think somebody has taken like almost an amalgamation of things he's said and put it into a quote and it has gone viral because nobody seems to, and correct me if I'm wrong, if someone knows where it is, send it in. But I think the poor guy's been trolled now for something that he probably didn't actually say as a whole. And I like that we're contributing to the pilot. Oh my God, fake news about Henry Cavill. We must protect the man. All right. Well, Look, I wanted to talk about something to do with Billie Eilish and I came across this. It was the most adorable reel.

I'm absolutely obsessed with her. She seems as though she is just the sweetest, most relatable person. And I say this because what I'm about to tell you, I think that we have all had our own variation of this when we were young, but nobody ever expects to meet their heroes. Nobody ever expects to meet their crush. What it starts with is there is a reel and it's circulating and it's the start of it is back, set in 2013, and it's a little 12-year-old Billie Eilish talking to herself in her phone, professing her love for Justin Bieber.

I want to play it for you. I watched so many Justin Bieber things, I was, like, crying so hard because I'm worried that when I get a boyfriend, I won't want to be with him because I actually love Justin Bieber more and I can't handle that. She's honestly the sweetest, cutest, most innocent little thing I've ever seen. I just watched this and I was like, I know what that love is like because I love Zach Hansen that much. Okay. I know it. I felt it. I was so obsessed with Zach Hansen and

like for anyone who's not from our, I guess like our age, the Hansens were three brothers who were like extremely religious and kind of grew up in like middle America and now have loads of kids. But at the time he was about 13 years old and he was a drummer and I used to cut every single picture of him out of magazines and put it into folders and keep them under my beds. My whole wall was covered in posters of Zach Hansen. I had every t-shirt, every album, every video that he was in. I wanted to go and like line up at the concerts, but my mum wouldn't let me. I was like obsessed with Zach Hansen. And I know that you just said that they were really religious, but we didn't know that. So for our age group, they were just these brothers that were hot with

long blonde hair that were like pop stars. So it's not like you didn't really know much about them I mean you probably did Laura I knew everything about them Brittany I was so obsessed with him but the reason why I related to this is because like I viscerally remember being so obsessed with Zach Hansen and it being like something that was unfathomable to me that I could be so in love with someone who didn't know I existed right I never felt that I never I never had that like I understood how the world worked so I understood that like I could have a crush on someone that was famous that I would never meet like it never upset me that someone wouldn't know that I existed no look I felt this in my bones okay I've got another piece of audio to play for

you because this is just the most beautiful full circle story and I'm just so happy for Billie Eilish okay this is a radio interview from 2018 have a listen to this no it was literally like a it was like a longing like i would cry all the time just because he didn't know i existed have you met him yet no bring him in justin bieber come on in no you better not do that nobody that is never happening anyway this has a really full circle story because in 2019 it was the very first time that billy eilish met justin bieber it was caught on film at the time it is like the most adorable little meat she's clearly humiliated because for years she's been talking about him across media she probably never expected that she was ever going to meet this guy right like

she clearly was obsessed with him and that little high school crush that you feel probably never ever goes away entirely you probably still feel like a little bit of a loser in comparison to this like enormous megastar even though she was on her own trajectory to like achieving those sort of like status herself yeah but she probably never thought i imagine even when you're starting to become a breakthrough artist right you never think that you're going to be the biggest one of the biggest artists in the world I have no doubt she was like I'm never going to be headlining Coachella with Justin Bieber you know so it's like you don't think that what you're saying oh god I think of the stuff shit that you and I have said Laura imagine if we ever make it

big time the stuff that we have said on this podcast Jason Momoa you watch out I'm coming for you no but that's that's kind of where this story comes full circle and Britt you just said it but like Coachella has obviously just happened Billie Eilish did headline with Justin Bieber in this very like gorgeous full circle moment it was actually organized by Hayley Hayley Bieber Billie Eilish didn't know that this was happening and she was brought up on stage to sing but there's also a really cool additional video that I wanted to share with you and it's from 2024 just before this happened and it was around like what would you tell your 10 year old self and this is something that Billie had to say around where she was at and I guess like her reflecting back on her career

and all of her highlights I just saw like his eyebrow and I know his face I know everything about him it's just the cutest like most heartwarming story I have seen in the news all week and there's a lot of really grim shit happening in the news and when I watched this I was like yes girl I know you didn't get him in the capacity that you thought you were going to have him when you were 12 years old but now you like as an adult you have this I guess the person that you always had this fixation for or this fascination with or however you want to describe it when you're 12 it's clearly not love but it is like an obsession that happens and now this person is like part of

your friendship circle and he's someone that you can actually call it I think I just think it's the sweetest thing I've ever seen but you know what is cool to think about as well is like even famous people that are at the level of like a Billie Eilish still have like they still fangirl over people so you could be one of the biggest artists and sometimes you see it with huge actors and actresses you see them fangirl over somebody that they may be cast with you think that when you get to that level like for us I think you look at people at that level and you're like no one would impress you anymore or no one would make you fangirl so hard but it's super wholesome because she was if you guys go and watch the footage she's beside herself like she's breaking

down on the stage she's so embarrassed and like bashful and she can't look at him and she can't believe it at the same time even though she is who she is it's cool to see that they still fangirl but I also think it's probably one of those situations where and it's why she's spoken about him so candidly throughout the years because you never actually think it's ever going to be a human possibility that you will meet someone who I guess you had this fixation for when you were a kid and Britt you did something for me a few years back I mean if you've been a lifer for a long time you would know this my obsession with the Hansons was real like it was so real it was it permeated all parts of my life Zach in particular but like look I'll take any of the brothers and

Britt I came to work this one day and Britt was like I have a surprise for you and I was like what is this surprise and lo and behold we got to interview Isaac Hanson and it was the most potentially the most surrealist thing I've ever done like and I you know for all the interviews that we've done and for all of the conversations that we've had I sat there and felt like a child again like it kind of transports you back not to the feelings of like lust or anything like that but just the feeling of like almost like giddy silliness that you're like I can't believe this is happening make it stop but never end at the same time I feel like any points that I got from that were quickly lost when I told him he used to make out with his poster. I used to make out

with his brother's poster. And then he was pretty upset about it. He was like, why is it always the brother? Why is it never me? And I was like, sorry, Isaac, it wasn't you, but like, I'm happy you're here, but let your brother know I had a crush on him. Hey, can you say hi to your brother for me? Okay. Here, if he, if you, if Zach Hansen, who is like your ultimate hall pass, if he came to you now and you had the opportunity to make out with him would you do it and just tell Matt like sorry I had to I think he has like 15 kids now take it away irrelevant it's just my hypothetical he's rocked up at a bar he has his eye on you and he wants to make out do you just do it and then tell Matt like I had no choice no I'm good I'm good now I married the bachelor I'm fine

all right must be nice all right well look I want to talk about I'm a celebrity get me out of here this is the UK version is not a series that I am usually well versed in. They film apparently in South Africa, the same places where we film the Australian one, but there is something that's going viral online at the moment. No, they actually, they film in Australia laws. Oh, then why are they in Africa? Oh, that one might be, I know the last UK one because Vogue Williams was just on it in Australia. So maybe they mix it up. Well, this is an all-star. So the participants who are on it are like all people who have competed in past years. And this one is being filmed in South Africa so so sorry for my mistake but there's a participant on this one his name is

David Hay he's 45 years old he's a former heavyweight boxing world champion and the reason why he has gone viral just in the last couple of days is because he has described a theory which is deeply problematic and it seems as though he doesn't understand why it's problematic the theory is called the ugly duckling theory now have a listen to this she sounds like she's drop their gorgeous she's lovely she's got the personality of a proper ugly bird you can't say that what does that even mean most ugly girls realize they don't they're not pretty enough to they've got to have a personality to banter and to tell jokes and shit so people overlook the fact that they're not aesthetically amazing straight away which is what's called ugly

ducting syndrome where you get them where they when girls are ugly when they start off and then they make it no no and then they kind of they they get pretty as they get older but they've still got the personality of when they're ugly oh dear god you get girls even day one like super everyone goes you're so beautiful it's so amazing she grows up thinking i'm amazing everyone loves me everyone i can open any door i can go anywhere i want they don't have to have a personality because most super pretty girls are idiots but then their ugly friend they got work a bit harder. So the backstory to this is that David's girlfriend, her name is Sian. Now she is a model. She is objectively, subjectively, whatever objectively you want to put into it.

She is beautiful. Subjectively hot. She is subjectively very attractive. And what he's trying to say about her, I'm sure he thinks is a compliment. He's trying to say that even though she's so attractive, she has the personality of someone who is less attractive, who had to try a lot harder to work on their personality. Now, obviously the internet is not happy about what he had to say because it's deeply entrenched in misogyny. And it's also deeply entrenched in this idea that a woman's worth is completely tied up in the way in which we look like our total value is our looks and that our personality is a constellation prize if we weren't lucky enough to be deemed with beauty. Well, I guess because the overarching theory suggests that like

it's a sliding scale. So the more attractive you are, the more like a wet cardboard box your personality is and vice versa. And so like, I think I have two feelings about this because his partner has come out and said she thinks it's funny. She's not offended. She gets it. She's taken it as a compliment. And the internet seems to be divided 50-50. The thing is, I do think this works across both sexes. Like conventionally unattractive men are also told that they need to make up for it to be funny or have a better personality or make sure you've got a good job and earn good money. Like I would say men still feel that pressure too. So as much as women, it's lumped on women far more. No one's going to argue that point, but there would be a

lot of men that I would say that feel the exact same thing that they need to show up in every other capacity if they are deemed conventionally ugly. If you think of like every American teen movie that's ever happened, when they have the jock, the guy that's like the footballer and the cool kid and whatever else. He's usually so beautiful and so good at sport and he's stereotyped as being an idiot. Like he's failing his grades and he can't get through the semester. And I think that that's something that we've seen since the age of time. Also, just to set the scene about David Hayes, a very interesting piece of information is he has openly been in a relationship with two women simultaneously. They go on holidays together and he's quite open and liberal with his

ideas and thoughts and the way he dates. And that's also not for everybody. But I don't think this guy had any intention of offending anyone. I'm not saying what he said was okay. Actually, funnily enough, some of his friends and family have come out of the back of it and talked about the fact how he's so conscious about offending people and saying the wrong thing. It must be something he actually grapples with that usually before he posts something or does a speech or whatever he's doing. Usually he runs it through chat GPT and says, am I going to get canceled? Have I offended anyone? Is what I'm saying okay? And the problem is being in the jungle, you don't have that. So like this guy's just saying things that go straight from the

brain. There's no filter, come straight out. I don't think it had any ill intent behind it. I understand why people are offended by it, but sometimes I think we have to think of, is the intention there? I understand what you're saying, but I kind of disagree. of course he didn't intend for it to be hurtful or he didn't intend it to be problematic but on the flip side I don't think the intention is what we're discussing here we're not discussing whether or not he intended it for it to be but saying that someone is the ugly duckling theory in like full strength about his girlfriend saying because she's attractive it's a surprise to him that she has a personality what he's also saying is that she must have been unattractive at some point

because when you think about the whole ugly duckling story what he's saying is is she must have been unattractive at some point and grown into her beauty hence why she has a personality no I don't think he's saying that well that is what the theory kind of stands for is that there has to have been a reason as to why you were able to grow such a great and profound personality I think the reason why it has so many I guess parts of it that is problematic and don't get me wrong I do think that there is a male equivalent to this I mean look at clavicular we've been speaking about looks maxing so much recently and that's men themselves saying it doesn't matter what you do for a job doesn't matter if you're funny it doesn't matter about anything all it

matters is the way you look but I think that there's an immense sense of pretty privilege that's packaged up into this and I guess what he's saying and the most important thing is like if you have looks everything else is secondary you're reducing women down once again to this two-dimensional to say that like all you have and all your value is tied into the way you look and it's just perpetuating the same stereotypes and I understand why he runs things through chat GPT and that's probably because he often says offensive things and doesn't realize that they're offensive and someone like that probably shouldn't go into the I'm a celebrity jungle because that is the perfect place as to where they're going to get themselves cancelled yeah

that's also why they put them in the I'm a celebrity jungle but I truly don't think he's saying hey my girlfriend was ugly once he's trying to say it as a compliment he's trying to say yeah she has it all she's hot and has a fantastic personality that's what he's referencing and that's where this ugly duckling syndrome thing comes up he's not saying she was ugly he's just saying she's also got the personality of somebody that was no he's saying he's not saying she was ugly he's saying she has the personality of an ugly person yes but like that in and of itself it's crazy it's crazy to me that you're even like oh he didn't mean it it's such a ridiculous statement. And the fact that that plays out on free to air TV, to me, I was like, I understand

why people are mad about this. It's ridiculous. This is the thing, right? We want to be enraged and we should be enraged, but it's remiss of us to pretend like it's not real. It is real. We've talked about pretty privilege. We've talked about how much harder some people need to work when they don't have that. And that's not us saying that. That's society putting that lens on. So for him to say it does sound outrageous and we should want to kick off. It should not be something that we actually have to grapple with in real life. But the fact of the matter is it is. And we've spoken about the impact that pretty privilege has on people. And I truly do think, well, I don't think we know a lot of the time with pretty privilege, people do have to work harder if they are not by

society standards to be aesthetically beautiful and it's fucked and it's cooked, but we'd be crazy to pretend like that's not a real thing you know I understand what you're saying but I actually disagree with the pretty privilege aspect of it in that way and I think that what we do when we kind of like try and find allowances for this is we're just leaning into a stereotype there's so many people who are beautiful models who are also incredibly intelligent who have master's degrees or doctorates or whatever they want to do because they truly do have it all like that exists and their personality is not a secondary part to their beauty in the same instance that there are people who are conventionally unattractive who are also nowhere near as smart as that you know i think

that trying to put people into these pigeonholes and be like because you're someone who is less attractive therefore you have to have a really great personality be smart funny and all the rest because you've got to compensate for it i understand why the theory exists but i don't think they're true. I think it leans into this stereotype of models are dumb and then therefore everyone else has to try harder. For me, when we say like there's some truth to it, I'm like, but where is the truth? Where did this come from? And I think it purely didn't come from any truth. I think it purely came from people's expectations that beauty and aesthetics are the most important thing and everything else comes second. The part of it that is problematic as well is like, yes, there may be

some equivalent and I know that you we've mentioned the whole looks maxing and everything else but the terminology and the theory in and of itself purely stands for women it doesn't apply to men it's not a name that's been come up with as an umbrella name for like all men all women non-binaries if you're more attractive then this is ugly duckly theory can apply to you it's purely and only applied to women and so therefore it once again and I can't say it enough but it just reinforces the same stereotypes I know he didn't mean it with malice I know that he meant it as a compliment I even know that his girlfriend wasn't offended by it all of those things aside it's still an offensive theory put it that way yeah I agree completely I just sort of feel for the guy a

little bit and I know people come for me I don't know him personally I don't know enough about him I don't know if he's a good guy or not I can see though that this was supposed to be in his eyes a throwaway comment to give his partner a compliment and it didn't fucking land but maybe he'll look at all the discourse off the back of it and realize oh okay I see where I went wrong going to see why this theory is problematic yeah i want to read this one thing and i like the way that this was put it said this when a man is funny and charming we say that he has charisma when a plain woman is funny and charming the ugly duckly theory says she developed it because she had to one is celebrated as a quality the other is reframed as a coping mechanism and i think that

that kind of sums this up and it's the divide between the way in which we speak about men and speak about women that kind of, I think has really, it's probably where he needed to use a bit of chat GPT and it would have gotten him out of a bit of trouble with this one. There's a conversation online at the moment. I actually saw it kick off yesterday again, I think on like news.com or something, but it was a week or two ago. Jimmy Nicholson, as in Jimmy and Holly, as in Jimmy was the bachelor, they won, they got the happily ever after. They're friends of ours. They're great. Bachelor pilot. We love them. We love them. He put a video up on Instagram and it was so funny, but it did kickstart a conversation.

He and Holly bought a house, a beautiful house that they're renovating a couple of years ago, and they constantly are posting their content around their home, the gardens. Jimmy's obsessed with the gardens. He's obsessed with lawns, his fish pond, whatever else. So Jimmy put up this video of the front of the house, the front lawn. And so the neighbor has mown his own lawn up until the divide. So, you know, there's like the invisible line that differentiates your lawn to the neighbor's lawn. It's like, you just sort of see where it is. It's in line with the fence. And so the neighbors mown his lawn, which looks pretty big, like a couple of meters wide. And he has stopped at the boundary between his fence and Jimmy's fence. Now for context,

if you look at the video that Jimmy put up, the lawn that is remaining on Jimmy's side at a push is one meter, like one meter wide. It is such a tiny little strip that he's left. And Jimmy's in hysterics because he comes home one day, looks at his lawn and the neighbor has only mown his side and left this extra meter on Jimmy's side quite unruly, like quite wild. And Jimmy started this conversation where he's like, okay, if this was you, would you have just mown the extra meter of your neighbor's lawn to be a good person? Or are we going to really die on this hill where we're saying, hey, not my lawn. Don't want anything to do with it. I think the context of this is so important. Okay. So like it actually,

I can't believe we're so deep in lawn chat now, but I kind of love it. So the context of this is important because it actually is none of their lawns, right? This is the government part, like your house ends. And then in front of your house, you have some sort of grass that meets to the gutter, right? Like you have the grass that's in front of your house. Your neighbor has the grass that's in front of their house, but you don't actually own any of it. It's all owned by the council but usually if you maintain your own front lawn you'll also do that little bit that's in front as well right yeah so he's just chosen not to do like his neighbor has done the un-australian thing and just mowed his tiny little section and then completely negated the one meter section of

jimmy's front right that's like all part of the same nature strip anyway the thing though about this and when i saw jimmy posted i was like very un-australian you help your neighbor out and you just mow that little bit of lawn. But on closer inspection, and I love Jimmy, but I will say this, his lawn is completely unruly. And I think that neighbor is making a statement. That neighbor is like, mow your fucking lawn, dude. That is not a week worth of overgrowth. That's not two months worth of overgrowth. That is a neighbor, Jimmy, who has never, ever, ever mowed their front bit. And probably the neighbor has done it so many times now where he's just over it. And he's like, you know what? You can do it. It's your turn. I'm going to make this very passive aggressive

statement and I'm going to leave it right here. Laura, I cannot believe you are on the neighbor's side here. Yeah, it probably is grown out. That's because Jimmy has a toddler. Jimmy's a pilot. He's away all the time. He's barely home. Holly probably hasn't fronted up to mow the lawn. Do you know, my neighbor, I can tell you how amazing it feels when I come home and my neighbor had mown that extra little strip on my lawn. I'm like, this is just the most, you've really helped me out. You've saved me time and money. You've locked in and made my house look better when obviously I couldn't do it. I was so appreciative. I agree that the neighbors made a statement. He's making a huge statement. But the best thing about this is Jimmy made a statement

back. So Jimmy then went and mowed his side of the lawn, except for this one strip that was like 10 centimeters wide where he put a sign in it that said neutral territory. He's like, and I'm like, mate, are you trying to get into a war with your neighbor? Like just mow it. But I think it's really un-Australian. I think that there's always going to be neighbor wars about stupid stuff. And I look, when I say I'm not on anyone's side, I think the whole thing is absolutely ridiculous. I love that it's like become a thing. I think people feel very passionate about their lawns. Men in particular, I don't know what it is, but you click over 35 and all of a sudden you care a lot about your lawn and you spend a lot of time looking at it. And that's

where Jimmy is as a dad. He's in this lawn phase. And obviously when you are the neighbor that's always doing, like if you're always the one that's taking the bins out or you're always doing the one that's like cleaning up things from the front of the houses, there probably does come a point where you start to feel a little bit resentful that it's not being return served. It's the passive aggressiveness that I'm like that's a big call to do when you live next door to this person I had a similar situation to this so we I mean granted the woman who lives next door to me rest in peace Rhonda has she's no longer with us but she she she she how do I describe Rhonda I've told some stories about her before on the podcast it was unusual she was passionate she

was passionate she was passionate about a lot of things she was the neighbor who would like to call the council on everything and she was always watching because she would stand in her front window and she would watch everyone but she would always she had a gardener that came every two weeks and they would take care of their entire you know garden and everything and they would go down and they would mow that little tiny strip at the front of the house and they would never do ours and ours is unruly and ours is overgrown and I don't care because it's not my strip to take care of I don't own that piece of grass and we don't have any front lawn so it would require me dragging the mower down a flight of stairs to go down and mow this tiny bit of lawn. But it's just never

going to happen. Anyway, this one day she was like, you know what? It's an eyesore that you don't mow that lawn. And if you pay my gardener $50, he'll do it. And I was like, $50? Rhonda? Wow, that's a really good one. It's like, you want me to pay $50 to mow a 1.5 meter strip of lawn? I was like, nah, Rhonda, it's too much. Sorry, Mahal, it's going to stay that way. So I never mowed it. And unfortunately she's probably still unhappy about it so anyway she's rolling over in her grave Laura now no one's mowing any of the lawns not her side not our side this is the thing though laws you're dying on this technicality about like that little strip at the front of your house that it's not

technically yours and the council owns it but everybody knows if it's in front of your house you've got to treat it like your lawn because no one's coming to help you the government's not that's not happening so it's a hundred percent jimmy's responsibility it's a hundred percent your responsibility it's definitely not your dead neighbor's responsibility i absolutely agree i think the thing though is is that some people care more than other people and that's the reality if you're the neighbor that cares a lot then just take some responsibility if you care so much you can't expect your neighbor who doesn't care like some people don't care about their grass and they're going to let it get unruly and wild.

And is that un-Australian? Potentially. Our backyard is lush and beautiful. That front little strip of grass would probably make you think we're living in a crack den. But I get why Jimmy's is overgrown. Guys, let's get out of here. Please keep your ass on tights coming in, your accent unfiltered,

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