Life Uncut - Offcuts - New Hall Passes, Date My Mate Presentations and ‘Weaponised’ Neuroscience

Episode Date: March 20, 2026

Welcome to Offcuts where we chat about whatever piqued our interest this week in a light, fun little package to send you off on your weekend! We chat: Britt has found her hallpass Punch's new girlfriend Is Timothee's Oscar's downfall Jenner coded? Date my mate powerpoints The neuroscience that explains why mums wake up more than dad An opposing view on the infamous coldplay kisscam moment You can watch us on Youtube Find us on Instagram Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Hosted by Britt Hockley & Laura Byrne Produced by Keeshia Pettit Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford & Lachy Pugsley Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! XxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut, I'm Laura, I'm Brittany and this is our Off Cuts episode, all the things that we wanted to speak about during the week, we couldn't quite find the space for, we went down the rabbit hole, here it is, our little weekend snack, our nummy num num num. Do you think we'll ever do this episode without saying num num num at the start? No, I think it's our tagline. Hi, welcome to Offcuts. Okay, I do want to start with just something that I feel really happy about.

Do you want to talk about Punch Monkey as well? No, I don't want to talk about Punch Monkey. Something better, something cuter. For me, I've always had a really hard time finding my hall pass. I thought it was the guy from Bridgerton. It was Jonathan Bailey. It has been. He doesn't want her.

He's gay, so it's off the table. Sure. What about the guy from Jamie? What's his name? Oh, Jamie. Jamie Ewan. Yeah, that became too real because we actually were talking and so then that got cut too.

So that was too real. So that's not a hall pass anymore because hall pass needs to be like. Unattainable? Unattainable, but you need to at least think it's attainable. Like fantasy. I don't know. I find it hard. So Laura got stuck on her hall pass, Man Mountain, Jason Momoa,

for years, right? And I don't think you've got him anymore, do you? No, I'm over Jason Momoa. A lot of people were sending me the meme which was a picture of him with a shaved face and he had no jaw and it really turned me off. I got an instant hic. When you take, have you seen that trend that went about all the girlfriends that are like,

I begged my partner to shave his beard and then what have I done? And it's like the before where they're these sexy lumberjacks and then their beard's gone and they've got like no chin. There's something very harrowing. If you're used to your man having facial hair and then you see them without it, it just takes a hot second to readjust, right? It is.

Instantly their jawline disappears and then you're left feeling betrayed. I love rugged. Like I'm begging Ben to grow more of a beard. Like I love when the moustache goes down and it doesn't have to – I don't want it manicured. I don't want it neat. He will never do that. That's not him.

It's not him. He goes every week to the salon anyway. Does he really? Every week he goes, Ben, to get a haircut. If he's really let himself go, quote, unquote, 10 days. 10 days? No, I'm not exaggerating. He goes and gets his hair professionally done every 10 days.

Yeah, because he's got like a fade and so fades only work if they're at the same. Who has the time? I've been to the hairdresser once in a year. No, Laura, they're footballers. The hairdresser goes to their team and does it. The hairdresser turns – it's actually – do you know what? Football is a different world. I'm not successful enough.

They have a hairdresser. We could get someone to come here. They have a barber, I guess. It's not a hairdresser, but it's a barber that will come to their hotel when they're away playing a game and if you book in and get your hair – yeah. It's a whole thing. Is that a team expense? I think, no, I think the players book in and pay like for yourself, but it's just about ease. Like

it's about, they come into the, yeah, it's, I am so shocked by this. I find this absolutely fascinating. Do you want to know, there's so much weird stuff about football. They are on, this has taken a segue from my hall pass. Sorry, Ben, you are my hall pass, but like they will go on a bus. They travel to their games, but they have like a chef on the bus and cooking station at the back of the bus and stuff. And they make them meals on the bus. Do you know what I was thinking today when I was having a shower and getting ready to come here I was thinking wouldn't it be nice to book in have a laser I've never had laser and I was like I need to do that it'll make my life so much easier can we just get a communal work laser come in I got lazy we can use it as

content I'm a dermatologist put it on YouTube oh no I meant for my bikini line did you do that because you saw my appointment in the diary yesterday all right let's get on track who is oh okay who is your whorepa oh Paul Anthony Kelly now who's Paul Anthony Kelly you might ask how dare you ask america's new boyfriend but he's my new boyfriend he is the new actor in love story from he's john f kennedy jr that's who he plays in love story like the new hulu doco that we've been talking about like all of the nicest people i am going to call it he has to be for me the most beautiful perfect specimen that i have ever seen in my life like jonathan bailey does not even compare and there's one scene I don't know if you remember it Keisha I did video it but

there is a just a playback because Pornhub went down last week so Brittany Brittany did some content there's one scene in Love Story if you guys haven't seen it yet this is not a spoiler but he turns up to her house and it's raining out and he's outside waiting for her and it's raining and he's wet in the street and she's looking out at him and he's like basically professing his love and desire for her and the rain's all down him and it's slow-mo and there's a moment where I was like that's gonna live rent-free in my brain for the rest of my life but I just wanted to I just feel like I needed to put this out there because it's a wonderful feeling to come across a new hall pass do you know I would like to share the hall pass

but something that made me actually like him even more you know how I've been talking about all these celebrities doing the like faux romance are they having an affair press tour situation we spoke about Sydney Sweeney and Glenn Powell we recently spoke about Jake Velarde and Margot Robbie he posted on Instagram like this is when this show had just come out and everyone was kind of finding him for the first time because that was his big his first big acting gig that's why I love him more yeah he'd kind of been the underdog for 10 years and he made this post that was a carousel and it was dedicated to his wife and it was just all about how much he loves his wife and I was like I love the contrast like I just I love that you know once the world is like fawning over him

you and I mostly included I'm like it's so refreshing to see a guy be like hey this is amazing that this has been such a big show but just FYI I really love my wife we've been together for a long time you know why it's lovely it's because and I think this is why I love him even more it's because he his story about getting cast for this is really crazy thousands of people auditioned he was included and they just cast him to the side he wasn't even looked at it was just a no and he said he's been doing it for 12 years he's mid-30s he's he was literally I know all these actors say I was just about to give up when I found it but I believe it like when you're in your mid to late 30s and you've never had any luck you're doing like 120 130 auditions a year

and it's no no no and you're married and you need to you know commit to your relationship I understand why people are like okay I tried I haven't made it but she stood by him for like a decade whilst he was trying to live his dream unsuccessfully and I think that that is so much more beautiful as to why he's posted this now when he's blown up being like this is the woman that has always been by my side but what happened was he was a no and he was cast to the side by casting and then Ryan Murphy who produced it came in and said what is happening we need to find this person show me the people you've said no to and he went back through all of these people until he found him and he said why did we say no to him and then they recalled him back and got him sent back to

to read in person and do a chemistry test and then he got cast on the spot and that's I don't know I think maybe I'm sucked into the whole story but I can tell but it's like it's the world is obsessed yeah i you haven't seen it have you it's because i spend my entire life watching married at first sight very different love stories so hard very different like look don't get me wrong having a lot of fun doing after the dinner party but dear god it's so many hours of maths it's a lot of married it's so much i'm literally i'm leaving here to go on a plane to go to a conference and the entire flight i was like maybe i'll have a nap and then i was like nope gotta watch married at first sight must never sleep yes watch every episode anyway look i've got some

things i want to talk about to laura's whole past the monkey oh punch cun okay so punch you guys know the monkey this is a very brief update we talked about him a couple of weeks ago he is the monkey sensation from a zoo in japan who was neglected by his mother and then the rest of the monkeys didn't want him and they didn't accept him he was severely bullied he was beaten by the other monkeys well look we've got some this is just a good a feel-good news story everyone because punch the monkey has finally found a friend there's videos that have come out there's paparazzi shots of punch making out with another inmate so and he did not set those i called it an inmate but i didn't i met a primate but they are they are inmates they're in prison in a zoo so uh sorry

for the faux pas but it kind of fits this one look yeah he's making out with another another monkey and they're kissing and they're cuddling and like he's just moved on and he's found love and he's being accepted by his monkey friends and he's living his best life it's actually the cutest little photo i know and they're not set up pap photos they don't you can tell they don't even know i reckon he called the daily mail he's he knew his star was going out people don't care like they did two weeks ago i'm not relevant anymore someone pushed me down the stairs i've been auditioning for 12 years the sales for the ikea monkey had started dip and so they were like okay call out the daily mail anyway there's some really cute photos and he's he's just happy guys

and i know you all needed the update just as i did and here we are rumor is rumor has it that It might be his girlfriend. They're pregnant. They've moved in together. They're twins. Who's the dad? Well, it's something that has taken over, I would say, all of the news feeds this week.

The Oscars, we didn't talk about it on Wednesday's episode. The reason for that is because everybody was talking about it and we thought sometimes we want to cover things that are a little bit different to every other podcast that's out there. Yeah, here we are talking about the Oscars. We're talking about Love Story and Punch Kun. So we thought we would. We've talked about things in the world.

No, I was going to say, I thought we would talk about it a week late instead. No, you guys know that like this episode is supposed to be the stuff that either couldn't make it into the main air, but it's the things that we've been obsessed with. And I know that everyone would have heard by now, Timothee Chalamet, the Oscars. You guys would have seen the controversial comments he made about the ballet and the opera. Now, this isn't new. This came out like a month ago.

He was with Matthew McConaughey, podcast interview, I'm pretty sure. I could be wrong but he basically said that no one's into the ballet or the opera anymore the internet was very angry so they should be it was a it was a shitty comment well the question more so is has so much of this backlash that he's receiving is it because you know what the internet is saying that he's arrogant or he's changed or is it the byproduct of dating our Kardashian is it because he is in a relationship with Kylie and the world has turned against him because of how we feel that the brand of Timothee Chalamet doesn't actually match up with dating a Kardashian. Well, it's interesting because we were talking about this before we started filming,

but believe it or not, we do do some prep. Might not sound like it. And yeah, I think you and I, Laura, have different views on this one. I don't think that he's disliked because he's dating Kylie Jenner. He's been with Kylie Jenner for what? I think like three and a half years now, but no one really knows because they were quite secretive at the start. But by the posts and the declarations over the years, it seems like three, three and

a half years. it's very serious like she has kids he's by all accounts a stepdad and they're they're very involved but I don't think his dislike comes from dating Kylie Jenner I think how serious people take him and maybe some credibility has been impacted because of dating Kylie Jenner like I think when you attach yourself to the Kardashian Jenner brand it definitely has its own energy around it like they are from a reality tv background they've been doing it for 20 years they are still on reality TV, Timothy hasn't been – is it Timothée? Timothée.

Chalamet. No, because I remember something coming out about everyone pronouncing his name wrong. Oh, look, he's so artsy. It has to be Timothée. He does have one of the little – oh, I sound like such an uncultured swine here. It has an accent. It's an accent.

It's an accent over one of the E's. Yeah. So that's what I don't know how to pronounce it. Let's call him Timmy. Let's call him Timothée. I like it. Chalamet. Chalamet.

Well, I think that his association – and I do wonder if, he considered that when they met. Now, even I hate to say it, but he was a very serious, very artsy actor the first couple of years before he was associated with her. I think he took his profession very seriously. I still think he takes his profession very seriously, but I think other people can't take him as seriously now that he is with Kylie Jenner. That is a shame, but I don't think that's why people dislike him. I think he's an arrogant little wanker now. The things that he is saying are so rude and obnoxious I think they always were though this is the thing so I I agree with you I think it's a perfect storm and I have spent an unfortunate amount of time

thinking about this because for someone who doesn't really care that much about Timothee Chalamet or about Kylie Jenner at all the fact that this has consumed me has really done a number of me but I think it's because I'm interested in brands right like I love the storytelling and I really find personal brands interesting and I think what's happened here is that it is this perfect storm between once upon a time he was like the absolute pin-up like people adored him they loved him he could do no wrong he was artsy he was the tortured soul he did really interesting artsy movies where he played characters that were dark and very complex there is this incredible juxtaposition between that version of what we will have a lot of

allowances for because we go oh it's timothy chalamet he's so tortured so it's okay that he has these alternate views but now this juxtaposition is that he's dating someone who's highly commercial their brand has and you know I'm not saying it is superficial but it kind of leans into that superficiality well it is it's all makeup and reality tv and look space yeah like it is like it's reality tv it could not be more polar opposing from the brand in which Timothee Chalamet created and I think when he very first started dating Kylie the overall consensus was like whoa that's a weird match and I think at the start people were interested and fascinated in it now they've been together for such a period of time that I actually think people they have a

distrust for him now because they're like the version that we thought you were doesn't match up to the version of what you're living and I know that that's not fair it's like people impose this but now what happens is like you have this sense of unlikeability right like you're like oh there's something about you I just don't trust or I just don't get so when he then does something like the ballet or the opera comment which is arrogant which is rude which is self-entitled it's the aha moment that everyone was just waiting for to confirm the reasons why they actually felt like they didn't like him because the ballet comment and the opera comment i mean it's bad but it's not bad enough to get cancelled is it plenty of worst men in hollywood that's for sure

yeah i mean like we've got sex offenders in hollywood and they they didn't get cancelled but this this guy's getting done for dating a kardashian and saying that the opera's a bit shit but he's not he's not getting cancelled is he getting shat on by a lot of people in the industry yeah because you don't shit on other people in your industry you don't he literally said no one cares about the opera or the ballet like that's what he said while he's on his oscars fucking tour his interview tour his promotional why punch down well it's it's just the it's it's one of those unspoken rules in the industry like you just don't do it i think it was particularly like spicy though because he came from an art school i think sorry i should have actually

researched this i'm pretty sure his mom and his sister were a part of like the new york city ballet or something like it felt like such a weird dig that maybe he should have had with his family at dinner as a joke you know yeah my sister being like no one cares about your world I totally agree and like I don't want to go too much into the ballet and opera commentary because I do think it's been covered extensively but I wouldn't be like us to cover no but I I think that the reaction was so severe and I do think that people have just been waiting to have a reason to hate him and I'm not saying that he hasn't come across I think he's come across quite arrogant in a lot of interviews I think he has this air of like I'm better than you but you don't quite know why and I I really

think and I mean he doesn't care what I think but dating a Kardashian does nothing for him and his likability I would put it that way yeah I don't know I disagree I don't like blaming a woman for someone's likability I don't think she's what's dragging him down at all to be honest that's my personal opinion I think he's done it to himself and like if you're going to go around saying this kind of thing about people if you're going to go presenting yourself like who are we to then say oh it's you're it's not what you're saying it's the woman you've attached yourself no I think be careful because you're making it seem like I've said that she is the problem it's the brand of the Kardashians that's the problem I'm not saying it's a woman that's affected his brand I'm saying

the Kardashian brand her public brand that she's created is what is impacting his public brand not the fact that he's dating a woman who's affected his career. No, I understand that. I just feel differently. I don't think that's why we don't like him. I think that's why we don't take him as seriously. And for me, they're two separate things. I think that you can still like someone and not take them seriously anymore

and vice versa. I think it's reflective of how we view traditional content creators being actors versus modern content creators being influencers. I think that we have a disdain for influencers and we don't, like you said, respect them. But I actually think internally and it's misogynistic, but we think that they're vapid. We think that they are like less worthy of adoration than what we used to think of like big Hollywood actors.

Completely. And also like the Kardashian brand and Kylie Jenner is so much more successful than Timothee Chalamet if we're going to use metrics of income, of notoriety and of all of the things that would in terms of a public sphere make someone more successful. it's just the type of i guess respect that we have for that success like she is absolutely she's a businesswoman she has brands all of those things she has created and of herself but the type of person who loves a kylie kadashi and jenna you know that figure is not necessarily the same person that loves a respected actor and i think that that's where

where the divide is happening this one's for all the single people out there oh the single this has been something that i've seen floating around i think people have been dabbling in it for maybe the last year or 18 months, but it's really taken off at the moment and it's become more mainstream. I don't know if you buy the tickets, but you can actually turn up to these events now where I think for the last 18 months, it's just been like a fun singles idea. Now it's legitimized. There is a night for singles that's called pitch your friend night. And I think it is brilliant. So what you do is you sign up to this singles night and you go with your friend. So every person there has to be vetted by somebody so like by the friend so you know that they're

good right like they've come with a recommendation at least one person in the world likes them totally who knows it could be your mom who knows but one imagine your mom pitching you out to a crowd bug no sorry if a mom pitched her son everyone would fawn over it they would be like that's so sweet no they know if it was hs ticky tocky's mom she's like pick up the juice no so it's called pitch your single friend night and what it is is you have three minutes so you you can't just all go rogue you have to be approved there's like 10 presentations a night and you arrive with your friend you've got three minutes on stage so you go up on stage and you have made a three minute powerpoint presentation to literally pitch your friend so you can include

whatever you want in that presentation and you can say whatever you want to deliver it so your single friend's just there like like a stunned mullet I guess they're just standing there on display there's a crowd of people and you don't have to be single like you can also just go with friends like a group of friends it's also a social night you get up for three minutes you pitch and then every couple of pitches you get to mingle so there's like a drink break because you're at a bar so everyone just goes around and you're not mingling like it's not like speed dating and it's not like awkward one-on-one it's just like all of a sudden for that 20 minutes or half an hour you're at a bar so everyone's talking groups of people are talking and then you go back to the

presentations when it's time and the next round of people pitch this could be seen in two ways it could be perceived as being like brilliant another fun dating way of getting people out there you know mix and get singles together it could also be seen a little bit like this is my poor lost puppy friend who needs me to help them because they can't get a person themselves so i've created a powerpoint presentation for my golden retriever oh i think some people aren't good at advertising themselves like i think especially if they're humble or self-deprecating people but do you know what this I think it's a great idea I just want to have that out there I feel so sorry for the person whose friend is pitching about them because like you know when it's your birthday

and the birthday cake's coming and the candles or the sparkles that's what I mean by it's like everyone's looking at you and you're like I don't know what to do with my hands I think so let me show you a picture we'll put this up as an example but here's a picture of pitching right so one friend's got the mic and she's presenting the powerpoint the other girl's standing there with the wine but it's got a beautiful picture of her and it's got fun facts she self-regulates emotionally physically and mentally she suits every hair color she once turned a nightclub into an arm wrestle stadium and won is that you I wrote about myself that is all they are all things that I would do but I think it's I don't know I think it's a vibe I think it's something

new we're in the wild again people you know this pendulum like we're sick of the online world whereas only a year or two ago the thought of meeting someone in the wild was gave us the ick we wanted to be sitting at home in our comfort and swiping in the safety of our lounge room but now we're done with that like we've seen all the decrease in online dating apps and we want to be back in the wild meeting people and they've said they've had loads of successful couples come out of these nights and not just the people that were being pitched other people that were just going to mingle and have a night out so i think it only works if you as the single person has volunteered and are happily like you're that you are a willing participant in this otherwise

dragged there but like imagine if your friend was like hey come to this night with me doesn't tell you what it is and then they pitch you as like fuck it's about time for keisha to get a boyfriend here she is you cannot be there if you don't want to be there this is voluntary that's like i think if if you are a willing participant it is a nice experience if you are not it is truly horrifying for a single person to be put in that situation the crowd's all sitting there they've got name tags on it's it's a conference for a meet and greet for single people I love it do you reckon that the person pitching do you think that they have to be in a relationship or do you think that they also have to be single because I think the vibe is different when you're like pitching for

your friend right but if you're also single like you're at an event with all these other single people are you kind of I don't know could they be trying to usurp the person that they're doing the presentation about with their comedy skills no I don't think it I don't think it matters what who the presenter is it's not about them they're just a prop to set their friend up but i don't think it matters if they're in a relationship or not but i i wonder if you would have a better presentation on somebody if you were not interested and not looking so if you were in a relationship you could just like completely go all out for your presentation for your friend i don't know i would have loved to have done one on you guys i would have loved it oh you know i had some great success

in dating in my time jesus do you know he's laura with her favorite monkey his business There's a video of Laura washing her feet in the sink. She's very clean. Do you know what though? I think the whole like PowerPoint presentation trend, it's very retro and it's making a comeback. People have been doing like PowerPoint presentation nights to explain to their friends what's their job.

I don't know if you guys have seen this, but it was viral recently on Insta and it was like a PowerPoint night where groups of girlfriends were getting together and they had to do like a five-minute presentation explaining their job but in a hilarious way because like we all have that friend whose job we actually don't really know what they do. Like I have a friend who works in like investment broking and then she tries to explain the floor that she works on. And I was like, so Wolf of Wall Street. She's like, kinda, but I don't get

it. And she's explained it so many times or it's like in finance. And I'm like, cool, fun. I have no idea what my brother-in-law Jay does. See, I've traveled the world with him, lived with him for years enigma like I know but I don't know and people always like what does Jay do I'm like just like some stuff online this is the thing we all have that person right we all know someone and their job is just so confusing to our brains that we're like I don't fucking get what you do with your day but go on just keep going well done play on I actually saw one of those powerpoint presentation nights to be like what's a conspiracy that you believe in and I thought that was brilliant I thought that would be really funny I would love that night can someone start a thread

on the Facebook group. What's your PowerPoint presentation night that you want? I want to hear about it. I have a tinfoil hat at home waiting. I love to put it on. Like whenever friends come over, I'm like. I actually have to edit out a lot of Brit's conspiracy theories. Do you know, I never used to be this bad.

Ben made me worse. I like dabbled in it, but I still like to like a little bit of fact and science behind my conspiracies. Like I like to be able to loosely link it to science or something that really happened. Ben is like full-blown conspiracy. He doesn't need any link. But I have gotten sucked into his world a little bit

and now I pretty much need nothing. Like I'll see an Insta post, it could be anything, and I'll be like, did you hear? Okay, okay. How far on the conspiracy theory trajectory is Ben? Like one being. Moon didn't happen. Oh, he thinks moon landing didn't happen.

He thinks there's aliens. He thinks aliens built the pyramids? No, he just thinks they're here. Oh, I think there's aliens too. I don't think they're here, but I think there's aliens. Does he believe that 5G is giving us all cancer? He sent me something this morning that Benjamin Netanyahu who is not really alive anymore and it's all AI.

Like I get a lot of conspiracy theories sent to me daily by Ben. I get puppy videos, I love you reels, and conspiracy reels. Wow. Yeah. But he's like, it's not like he, he doesn't walk around spouting it as info to people and he doesn't try and convince people. He just loves getting sucked into those worlds and imagining it. Like he doesn't walk around telling people and fighting with people

that the earth is flat. I was about to say, what shape does he think the planet is? Octagon. Yeah. Yeah, so it's I am, I am. Yeah, let's do a conspiracy night. I'd love that. Or a conspiracy episode.

Maybe we can do a bonus episode on conspiracy theories. We will literally get cancelled for that. It's misinformation. Not if you label it conspiracy. It's not a fact. All right, Keish, this one's for you because I know that you are just sick for sleep. I have come across two things this week that both of them I sent to Matt instantly because sleep. unfortunately lack of sleep is dominating my life at the moment we've gone through the regression

which i told you guys about and i'm functioning surprisingly well for someone who has had literally no sleep you actually never look tired it's weird is that a conspiracy laura cloned laura's the alien or she doesn't actually have kids i don't even have kids she never looks tired so in the last two nights back to back because poppy's been sick if you listen to wednesday i I whinged about it then and I'll do it again. She's not breastfeeding anymore. She's been, and I haven't, I've stopped breastfeeding. She's been sick for like the last three days.

And in 48 hours, I have had a combined six hours sleep in 48 hours. But you would not know that. That's it. She has been waking up every 20 minutes because she's so congested. Don't you suck the snot out? I did with my mouth. No, I use, I use the little first suction bottle. She hates it though.

You spray the saline in their nose and then you cover one nostril and you use this little squishy pump thing and it goes and it sucks it out. It's like it's been sucked out of a black hole. Keisha and I as people that don't have kids have discussed it. I actually felt vomit come up my throat when you were talking about putting your mouth over it. There's something about snot that's like.

It's a joke. I didn't actually suck it out with my mouth. But back in the day. People do though, yeah. Back in the day, it's all you had. You've got to do what you've got to do. You suck and spit. Look, I've been, because the internet knows I'm tired

and the internet knows I care about sleep stuff at the moment and because I bought an aura ring it's decided that this is the content I need to be fed and I read something which I think every single mother will relate to and it may also help your relationship so I bicker with Matt all the time about the fact that he sleeps like a log and I wake up to every single noise that our children make like if our children if Lola even whimpers or coughs or sneezes from another room I am wide awake and I know that like someone in the house is not asleep yeah he doesn't he can sleep through anything and if you guys remember i had a moment the other night where matt and i had a fight in the middle of the night because i'd asked him about 10 times to go and get

a bottle and he was literally asleep standing up he completely fell back asleep and wasn't listening to me must be nice so how's this this is based on science which means i have to give him a little bit of a pass men can typically sleep through every noise at night time but after a woman gives birth she literally cannot because childbirth causes a permanent enlargement of the amygdala in a woman's brain keeping a mother on high alert 24 7 even while she is asleep your brain is completely restructured during the act of childbirth the rush of hormones that you get and by that happening to you and like i think it is also like the like later stages of pregnancy also impacts this but your brain restructures and so when you're in that kind of like fight or flight

stage where you're always on alert for something bad to happen or for a noise or something like think about it back in the day when you were worried you're going to get eaten by wolf that's the feeling you have as a mother all the time, even when you're asleep. And in addition to this, which might be news to everyone, a single night of poor sleep can make you 60% more reactive to negative emotions the next day. So when you've had bad sleep and you're gnarky and upset and you want to pick a fight with your husband, well, now you have every right. Well, you don't have every right, but you've got an explanation. Do you know what's even more infuriating? I know this has nothing to do with what's in the news, but it's happening in my life. It just makes you

so mad when you've had a really bad sleep and the person next to you has just had a really refreshing great time it affects your whole life and you can't catch up on sleep you can't like you can't have a week of bad sleep and be like I'll just sleep for a week now to catch up it doesn't it never replenishes if that makes sense doesn't the debt catch up I think the debt does accumulate I think you can catch it up but maybe not in the same way certainly not if you've got three kids I don't think you can I think you have to have the time to catch up the sleep which is what you lack the most. Yes, this is true. But also I just find this really interesting because something about my sleep quality has completely changed since becoming a parent. And it's not

just about the kids being restless at nighttime. I do feel as though I do not sleep as deeply anymore. And I think that I used to be able to go to bed at 10 PM and not wake up until the next morning, unless I desperately needed to wait, like nothing would have gotten me out of my slumber. And now, and it's something I've been so aware of, like any noise, I'm the one that's awake in the house. Are you a night weir, Kish? I get up four to five times a night to pee. It's really bad. This is so weird to me. Ben is a night weir too. I have not gotten up in the night to wee 15 years. I do not wee at night. Really? That'll never, never do one wee at night. I'm very well toilet trained. Well, I can't. I'm like a puppy. No accidents? You know what though, about this

whole brain thing, a part of me actually does wonder if this is like weaponized neuroscience, because yes you can experience neuroplasticity from different events that's absolutely true but I kind of do wonder how much of this is also environmental and it's back to conversations about the mental load and like yes there could very likely be a neurobiological change that happens in your amygdala that can make you more alert but I also question how much of it is environmental because I have a friend she works in breakfast radio her husband is the best I just love him he's such a good man and he is the one who has woken up to do the nighttime stuff with their daughter he's the primary parent and it just makes me kind of question like how much of this

is actually neurobiological versus environmental how much is it well apparently they've kind of gone oh well like the science says that you're just more or less so i'm gonna stay asleep oh you're like weaponized incompetence it's a bit of neuroscience no i don't think it's necessarily weaponized neuroscience there is i mean and this is why i found it so interesting because there is studies that have shown that it is one of the biggest changes like neuro changes that happens in a woman's body throughout their lifetime if they choose to have children your amygdala increases in size like it grows in size through your pregnancy and then through the postpartum period so there is like a there is not only just a chemical change but there is a structural change

that happens in the brain however it doesn't mean that your partner can't get the fuck out of bed But he's still got an amygdala. He can still get out of there. It might just be 2% smaller. That's exactly. Mate, you have an amygdala. Use it. That's going to be the next argument I have with Matt.

When he's like, I'm so tired. I'd be like, well, you also have a manigdala. Amygdala. You have a manigdala. God damn it. Do you know what I remember learning about the amygdala in neuroscience? This is over a decade ago at uni. And they found that the function of the amygdala,

This is a really sad story that they lesioned it in monkeys. They had to euthanize the monkeys because they couldn't get them to suppress their rage. They were, like, so full of rage. Maybe that's what's happened to Marley. Her amygdala. Maybe we're just going to lesion on her amygdala. Is she full of rage?

Full of six-year-old rage. Is she? Maybe she's not sleeping either. I'm petrified of that kid. Really? It makes sense that, like, you get more irritable. It's where you get angry. What?

Segway, what kind of rage? Oh, she's just hit the six-year-old angry back-chatting age. Like, she just back-chats about everything. Give me an example of a back-chat. Okay. Like, just as in, like, do you tell her to do something and she goes, so is your mum? Like, what level is it?

I don't care. I don't care. Oh, like, can you pick up that toy, Miley? Yeah, hey, Miley, you've just dropped that on the floor. Can you pick that up and put it away? I don't care. Well, you will care because I'm going to make you pick it up. Ugh.

Eye roll. So she got in trouble with a teacher the other day and she came home told me and and I was like well what happened she talked through what happened and I was like you are in trouble because you backchatted to your teacher Marley that is not okay and so we're going through this real she's really like have the last word yeah she's yeah Buster does it as well you know I'll say Buster stop and he'll go woof it's like she does do it Buster is like fuck you she loves it she's really pushing boundaries at the moment and she really needs to get the last say in and it's it's a funny thing because i i don't remember going

through the phase of it but like i do remember that i had that feeling of like when i was in trouble or when i was being reprimanded for something i always wanted to be like back at someone or you walk away from your parents when you're in trouble you say something on your breath and they're like don't you mumble under your breath and so and you have you just want to be like yeah like it's one word i don't care like you just want the last like and then my mom, my mom being like, stop fucking grunting. Don't say a word, go to bed quietly. And I'd be like, this turned into a therapy session. I'm putting it out there for any other parents who might have a device, or maybe you're a child psychologist and you have advice. We have hit

like a real back chat stage. And I don't really think I'm that person or parent that's like, you must respect me. Like, that's not the angle I take, but I do take the angle of like, if mom says something, you don't turn around and you don't disregard what I'm saying. And you don't talk back to me but yeah I don't think I'm doing it right maybe you're too gentle parenting yeah smack them no but when you're like I don't make my kids respect me you're like I'm not really I'm just not that one I'm not that type of parent that's like you must respect me I'm the parent I'm right like I'm not that version of a parent and I think that's how I was raised a little bit I think like we were elders that's a normal like thing yeah I don't say respect your elders I say

respect everyone like if you're if someone's telling you how they feel about something you respect what they say you don't roll your eyes at them and you don't grunt at them my experience of your kids has always been that they've had really beautiful manners so this does see what they say about you behind your back no my kids like that my kids are really well behaved it's just it's just i think a little six seven year old she's got a big amygdala a big feeling she has a lesion on her amygdala that's it i want to finish up with a very viral cold play kiss camp god say that three times fast hey you know how when we started this episode i said that sometimes we like to um talk about things a week late did you see did you see the viral kiss cam no there's an

update there's an update we're within a year there's an update so i can't believe i'm gonna say this in case you missed it coldplay had a kissing scandal on their kiss cam at a concert last year we talked about it you know what we're talking about and if you don't go and look it up We broke the news, actually. Yeah, we broke the news. So there's an update. Oprah, you know, Oprah's on this new, her new, I don't know if it's a pod, I don't know what it is, but she's doing these clips

where she's interviewing people like a podcast, but it's not just for social media. People sit around in a circle, like an audience sits around her in a circle and watches. It's her YouTube channel. It's her, like, it's a YouTube podcast. Yeah, but it's like a, I guess it's the modern day version of the Oprah show.

Like it was, it's her chat show, but it's been taken to the internet. but like everyone gathers around it's quite a small audience like it doesn't look like much 100 people maybe I don't know if that in itself is interesting though like you think about how she used to be on a stage looking at people yeah now she's in the middle of a circle of people I actually think that there's like an interesting modern version of how we expect content to be delivered in a more even playing field way not like presenter to I'm talking at you now people want to feel like they're a part of the conversation. I think Oprah is the queen of community building. I think she absolutely gets how to center not yourself as the most important

thing. She centers the conversations and she centers the people. Like she is an incredibly skilled interviewer and that is what has made her so well loved. Like it's not about her being famous. It's about what is the story that the other person's bringing to the table. Well, that original video that was Andy Byron, he was the CEO of Astronomer and Kristen Cabot, who was working in HR for the same company. So long story short, they were caught on the kiss cam having this kissing moment. It went viral with over 100 million views, like that one video,

and then it spread everywhere, like the reshares, the jokes, the piss takes, the satirical. Well, it went viral because they were canoodling. They weren't kissing, but Chris Martin, because they quickly separated from each other, and Chris Martin was like, whoa, was one of them cheating? And he planted the seed of whatever their scandal might have been in their relationships.

and the internet went wild with it everyone had their own opinions on it people were accusing them both of cheating and the people at the center of it really got lost in the internet meme storm well this is why this is interesting why we're talking about it because she has come on this new little oprah show and it's actually really fascinating and i feel really sorry for her she was talking about like the tidal wave of ridicule that she got after that they had to quit their jobs it ruins their private lives it ruined their kids lives they were getting death threats like you can imagine the level of harassment because the internet loves to hate like they love to find someone to feel like they're an enemy vigilantes and like they're

they're they have their moral compass and blah blah fucking blah like we love to hate people on the internet anyway she talked about how much hate she got but it's interesting because nobody knew even though she said it at the time we didn't want to hear it because that doesn't fit our narrative of the story she said at the time that she was separated from her husband she was not having an affair and he had said he was separated from his wife and he was not having an affair either so by all accounts they were like we are actually just two people that work together that are together and like no one's doing anything wrong but everyone ignored that but she's come out with a bit more information have a listen so you get to the concert and what

happened well I was walking into the concert and my daughter messaged me and said oh it's so great that you and Andrew are both at Coldplay. So she let me know that my estranged husband was also at the concert. So I think it's very important. This is what I did not know before the story. And y'all obviously didn't know either. That she was separated from her husband

and that her boss was also separated or said he was separated from his wife. Did y'all know that? No. Okay. All right. Or that or that her husband was there. This is the this is the thing. So you get texted from one of your children. Yeah. My daughter is like, this is so fun. Great. I was like, and in my mind, I thought, well, that's is this going to be weird if he sees me with Andy?

Like that you run into him. Yeah. If I run into him. But then I was like, I'm in Gillette Stadium. There's fifty five thousand people here. I'm probably not going to run into him. But it doesn't matter. I mean, that would have been better at the end of the day if I just run into him. Um, but it's, you know, he knows, he knows how closely Andy and I work together. He knows we social, like got lunches and got drinks. It was fine. I think it's really sad that the truth of the story, like people don't want the truth of the story to get in the way of a good internet meme.

And, you know, yes, people were really angry. Not, not even some people were angry because some people obviously are very, uh, morally reactive when the word cheating is thrown around. Like I think people, even though it's not against the law, people have a lot of like very strong feelings about it it did come out at the time they did say that they weren't in relationships with their you know respective exes or whatever the reasons are but I think people loved the story so much they loved the viral nature of it and I guess the way in which they reacted felt so severe that people didn't want to believe them and like people wanted to believe

the version that the internet created well I do wonder and it's a few things that she has said herself and a few other things that have come out like the fact that apparently Andy is still with his wife he was seeing like he's so he might have been having an affair i as much as i say we hate misinformation this is what i'm thinking i am wondering if they started seeing each other at work because they see each other all day every day i do wonder i don't know what's happening in his life but i wonder if maybe he led her to believe there was more of a separation than maybe there was or maybe he thought about leaving her i think he might have led her down a garden path because i think she was 100 separated i think we've proven that she's proven that her kids have

proven that I wonder if he wasn't as separated as her but she didn't know that because she has come out and said he lied to me oh wow so but she hasn't said about what extent you know what's really upsetting about this the one thing we hate more than a cheating man is the woman who tempted the cheating man away as a society and that's what she was brandished as and that has affected her entire likability her career how her family responds it's her online presence like she will forever be the woman who was on the kiss cam with her old ex-boss well I hope she's I wonder if this is the start of her I guess redemption story because since then since she resigned she uses a platform now to speak about the dangers of cancel culture and misinformation the importance

of not spreading misinformation so maybe this maybe I hate to say maybe this is what she's supposed to be doing but maybe this with Oprah this interview is the start of like a bit of a redemption tour where we all look at her differently because I mean I didn't care right when it happened I was like okay they're having an affair it didn't make me want to cancel them it didn't I didn't know them didn't want to make me go and write on their posts like if anything I was like wow that was the most awkward situation ever but when you hear her speak about what that did to them as a family and a person when the whole world jumps on board no one knows them like why does the world care like why did we care so much I actually think there was another level of it and it was to do with like

elitism you know he was the ceo of this very very wealthy big company she was the hr person which i think it's a narrative that so many people would have projected themselves into as well where it's like well my husband goes to work and i've always been sus on that woman who works in reception or you know like oh it plays into your greatest fears for a lot of like you know average gross stereotypes involved in that right like you said the temptress the woman who seduced him away from his wife that he wasn't actually separated from i think that she got so much hate just because we're misogynistic by nature i i kind of i don't know i wonder what the follow-up of him was like the fallout was obviously big for him but if she's having to go and do this like cancel culture

talks and misinformation talks and going on oprah to kind of almost clear her name which obviously she won't be able to because the magnitude of the story was so large but i just i kind of wonder of like where is he in the equation where is he explaining the fact that actually I was the one more in the wrong and I was the person in power well I think that that's the reason as to why this gained such traction in the first place in this instance because like do you not remember that there was like that fake statement that was um circulating from his wife yes at the time and she was like talking about how she'd been betrayed and everything else the fact that they stayed so silent people perceive and I'm not saying she stayed silent she's obviously been doing these

interviews with Oprah now but the fact that he stayed so silent and his wife at the time or whatever that relationship was stayed so so silent meant that people filled in the blanks and people came up with their own conclusions to that story and it wasn't great because people think well if they're not saying anything then it must be pretty fucking damning and that's what I kind of think the end result of this is but look I'm so glad at the end of the day that you know Oprah's out there doing God's work so that we can still be talking about it 12 months later I mean Google says that i don't i just tried to find where he's working now after he resigned i was trying to see you know where is he now apparently he's still living with his wife but i thought what's he is he

ever going to get a job again but then google says his estimated worth is between 50 and 70 million so i reckon he's doing just fine all right guys well look that is it from us and our little off cuts for you and your weekend you can join the discussion by going on to our facebook discussion group which is life uncut discussion group follow us there or if you have any questions for ask Uncut or anything else that you want to send us you can send it to our Instagram at Life Uncut Podcast. And you know the drill tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends and share the love

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