Life Uncut - Offcuts: Pregnancy BTS, The Meet Them Twice Theory & The Rockstar Relationship Theory

Episode Date: October 9, 2026

Hey Lifers! Welcome to Offcuts, your little weekend schneck!  First up, we go behind the scenes of last week's pregnancy announcement, including how it actually went down on camera, who was in on the secret ahead of time, and why Laura completely zoned out and missed the whole thing live (we promise it's funnier than it sounds). Then, a viral video from Bundaberg, Queensland has taken over the internet: a giant inflatable nutcracker Christmas decoration malfunctioned in the most unfortunate way possible, the council issued an actual apology, and we debate whether it's too early for Christmas decorations full stop. We also get into a new study claiming 80% of people lie at least once every ten minutes, and unpack the difference between harmless white lies, embellishment, and full blown dishonesty. Then, two new relationship theories we can't stop thinking about: the Meet Them Twice Theory (if someone's truly meant for you, the universe will bring them back) and the Rockstar Theory (every relationship needs one rock and one star to thrive). We share our own stories, including Laura's very real "meet them twice" moment with Matt, and debate whether these theories actually hold up. Slide into the Life Uncut DMs at @lifeuncutpodcast on Instagram Join us on Patreon for exclusive content and bonus episodes You can watch us on Youtube Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Hosted by Britt Hockley & Laura Byrne Produced by Lachy Pugsley Video Produced by Lachy Pugsley & Vanessa Beckford Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! XxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life on Cut. I'm Brittany. I'm Laura and this is Off Cutts. Your nom-nom-nom snack for the weekend, everyone. Hey, big news, Britney's pregnant. I don't know if you heard. I don't know if you've seen. There's actually three people in this recording studio right now.

It's me. It's Brittany. And it's a baby. You may have missed it. No, you wouldn't have missed it. I reckon you could be in out of space and you would have gotten the news. Yeah, I reckon also. But like, you know what?

Broke the fuck on. This baby deserves the moment. Do you know, I said to Laura, I don't want to make pregnancy my whole personality now, but I have so much to tell you guys and talk about it because it's been months. No, it does. Unfortunately, it's just what happens. Pregnancy will become your entire identity because, like, every day something weird and new happens. Like, one day you wake up and you're like, oh, my nipples are black.

Oh, my vagina's fat. That hasn't happened yet. Oh, my boobs are 17 times bigger than my face. Like, it's just. Badge still snatched. Boobes not black. Not yet. So I don't know when that happens.

Oh, I can't wait for the day. I hope you get a swollen vagina. I wish that upon you. I would. That's, if you're a real friend, you would never wish that fat swollen vagina on me. Like, I just feel like, just because you got long labia, it doesn't mean everyone else has to happen. I don't wish morning sickness on you. I would never wish that on anyone.

But you can have avaricus vein on your vagina too. I wish that on pon you. You have them on the vagina. I wish a varicous vein on your labia so that you know what I experienced. Would you hate me if I just have like the smoothest pregnancy? You would. If you sail through this, this is becoming an ongoing joke. in our life, right?

Like, Brit, the hairless. What did we say on the last episode? It was like, Brit hairless, perfect laugh, doesn't like... None of that is true. If you sail through pregnancy without a side effect, I'm fucking... I'm done. So far, so good. I hope that for you.

No, you're like, I'll give you everything, but you have to have a fat vagina. Like, you can have it all as long as you get the fat vagina. I want you to suffer. I am at this point, if you're watching now, you'll see. I am at the point where I'm holding onto my clothes for dear life. So I'm just showing you the pants I'm wearing right now. The zippers don't go up and the buttons. don't do up, but I don't have anything else to wear yet. So I'm trying to like hang on to my old

clothes and just cover it up and just like drape a long t-shirt over my pants. I wish, you know what, I really kind of like put off buying anything maternity, like all through my first and second pregnancy, I just didn't buy anything that was like maternity wear until the very end. And then I realized actually how comfortable, when you're like fully nine months pregnant, like how comfortable maternity jeans are that just have like an elastic in them that help to support your widening hips and everything else. Like, I'm not against maternity wear, but last pregnancy, I just lived in oversized t-shirts and, like, draw string pants. And that was me done. I think that's going to be my summer. Yeah, like oversized tea, draw string pants, and I had to have a pelvic girdle by the

end of it. That was it. That was me done. You always looked good, though. Oh, not really. Oh. Yeah, I have my fingers crossed. I don't know. You're going to be, it's going to be great. Guys, we actually, so you would know, you would have listened to Wednesday's episode. I found out that Britt was pregnant at the end of that episode. There's been a lot of people talking in the Facebook discussion group being like, you guys have bringing bread coming this for weeks. We haven't. You had that whole discussion about whether Britt would be a boy mom or a girl mom.

I had no idea. We talk about that all the time. I've been talking about a baby for four years or a lack of baby. On Delilah's life, Laura had no idea. If you've watched the video or heard it, you can see the shot. You're not even computing. It was a lot going on. and I think you astroplained for a little while.

I wasn't paying attention. You also didn't listen to the first half, which I had prepped Ness, who was our video editor. She knew, right? And she was in on it because I needed somebody to help with the surprise. So I told her a week ago. And I can't believe you told Ness a week ago before telling me. I had to.

And when you got engaged, you told Jono before telling me. I know. It's not personal. You told Jono. It's not personal. And I love Jono, but you told Jono. Okay. If I didn't tell us,

Ness, there'd be no confetti, all right? It would have been an announcement without confetti. It hurts my feelings. Ness, my feelings are hurt. Also, the fact that you kept it from me, you could have just told me, Ness. We lied to your face every day. I was like this bitch. She don't know what's going on right now. I don't know what's going on. That's true, but I whatever knows what's going on. I did say to Ness, because there's multiple cameras in the room. They sit outside the room. They're on their own cameras. And that's kind of the setup of the studio. And I said to her, look, we had to time Ben coming in to pop the confetti and the cameras. and the following. And I said, there's a very, very high chance that Laura won't be listening.

And I said to Ben, don't come in as soon as I've finished it because I don't think Laura's going to know what's going on. And I think her brain's going to have to rewind and take a moment to get across everything. And he's like, don't know me. To the tee. You don't know me. I knew it to the tea. I start reading it. She blew up a phone and starts looking. I was like, fuck, I've lost her. And I was like, it's okay. We'll fix it in post. So we all knew you at Astro plane. I'll be honest. I get to the end because it's like our Wednesday EPS are long records. Like I know it works out to be about a 50 minute, but we are sitting here talking for sometimes almost two hours. Like we do prep beforehand and I have a very

short attention span. And so when we, we get to suck and circles. I'm like, you've already said that. We get to suck and sweet. And I'm usually like, okay, like, you know, we get it, we're, we're rap in the episode. The laptops are down. I'm thinking about what I'm having for lunch. Like, we're in the rap mode. But you can see. the video. Please everyone go back and watch it. You can see in the video when I'm talking to her. You're looking through me. It's like, I don't even know where you went to in your brain. And then you can see when you come back. And then you can see you putting it together. I was looking at you. Do you know what I was thinking? Because you were reading a fake review that obviously

didn't actually come in. Sorry, it did come in. I do need to clarify. I'm going to clarify in the main app. I struggled with that review. Because I was like, people are going to think I wrote this. And I didn't. Well, Ness wrote it for you. But you were writing. Yeah, but I didn't. So the suite of your week, you were reading a review. Which you should have been hooked on. And a lot of it was about how amazing you are. No, it was 50, 50, how amazing you are.

I know. That's when I said, paying attention. Oh, yeah. You can see she clocks in when I said, and Laura. She's like, oh, sorry, what? What is this? No, I was just, I was like, yeah, it's so nice to get a nice review. It's really lovely.

And then a little bit of me was like, like, is this the sweet from the whole week? Was it? Yeah, it's a grim week or up? All right, cool. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. After talking about the moths and, it was a lot going on, half, up, half down. We have some, like, BTS that will drop. And there are some funny moments in it from the whole team,

but there's some funny moments in it from Laura where she's listening to the review. She's like, it's not that good. She's like, why is Brittany so emotional and crying? Why is she hooked on this review? Like, wow, what a grim week for Brittany. It just took me a little while to catch up to speed with what was going on. But I do want to say this. I found out very much in real time.

Everyone's speculating in the Facebook group. I did not know. And you know what? We're going to do a full episode on everything on Wednesday, like everything. Everything from like when Britt found out like the journey, like all of the stuff. Every, I will discover it at the same time you do because I still have a lot of questions. But for anyone who hasn't signed up to Patreon yet, we recorded, and this was just part of the schedule. It was not the plan.

It wasn't planned. We finished that episode where Brits surprised me about being pregnant. And then we were going straight into a next record, which was our first Patreon episode. And we were doing an Ask Us Anything episode. But obviously, I had some questions that needed to be asked about pregnancy, baby, everything else. So that first episode on Patreon, if you haven't subscribed yet and you want to go and listen to it, it is like 50% about the pregnancy and baby.

And it's 50% answering all of your Ask Us Anything questions. It's a really good episode. It's a long episode. It's a meaty one for you to get stuck into. They won't always be that long. but we, yeah, we had some surprise content. We really did. Anyway.

Cute. Everyone's having babies. I mean, yeah, we'll be talking about that a lot. There is one thing that I came across on social media this week and it tickled me good. Oh, it tickled me good. Tickled him too. I was about to say, I think he tickled himself good. It tickled him as well.

Okay, so like Bundaberg, Queensland. Even that in itself, what a funny little place. Bundaberg, Queensland. Nothing gets more Aussie than that. I don't think anywhere in the world has as fun names as Australia has. So Bundaberg, Queensland, there was a video that has gone viral and it is an inflatable nutcracker, right? Firstly, like a Christmas. Yeah, Christmas decoration, inflatable nutcracker.

Firstly, I have questions as to why people are already putting up their Christmas decorations pre-Hlloween. Like, that to me feels like some sort of sacrilege. But there was an inflatable nutcracker that had a malfunction in Bundabode Queensland. It fell over to its side. And unfortunately, the way that it fell, it was doing a very, very questionable act. where it looked like it was jacking itself off. Okay? So it's like its arms going,

rapidly too. It's like jackhammer. You need to go and watch it. I'm going to put it on our, if you're not watching this on YouTube. It's in someone's front law. The video will be there on YouTube. People obviously filming it.

It's gone viral. The Bundaburg Council has come out and apologised for an unexpected mechanical malfunction that has happened to this nutcracker. It's just turned into a whole thing. It's also couldn't have been funnier that the blow-up doll is called Nutcracker. With what it's doing. Like, you can't script that.

Like, this blow up could have been of anything. The fact is called a nutcracker and it's cracking its nut. It's also like, it's like three minutes tall. It's massive. This is not like a tiny little blow up thing. It's just, would have been really hard to explain this to children what was happening. No, children wouldn't even question it. I'd be like, oh my God, that thing blew over.

It's just adults that are the sickos. It made me very much laugh. But it also made me question, like, why does the council need to put out an apology? So obviously it was like on the street. people could see it. But why does the council need to put out an apology for the malfunction of a giant inflatable? I feel like we need to apologize for everything. I mean, I don't think they need to apologize. I think it was probably the best thing to come out of Bundbergberg this year besides Bundberg be. Isn't it rum? Bundberg rum. I love that Bundabberg rum.

Do you know what? I do want to ask this though. How early do you think is too early to have Christmas decorations up? Buck, I put them up like a week before. Sometimes I don't put them up. I'm a Grinch. That's because I live alone though. I usually cover my fig tree and tinsel and that's about it. It's a lonely. It's a lonely with life. Stop it. I think if you're putting up Christmas decorations before Halloween, you've got something to answer to. You really do. There must have been a reason Bundaberg did that. Like there must have been at some kind of a festival or something or maybe it was part of a decoration for Halloween. Like I guess you can dress up as Santa or a nutcracker for Halloween. Can you? Yeah, you do you boo. If you can dress up as Raygon,

You can dress up as nutcracker. I don't think people are dressing up as Christmas decorations for Halloween. Well, I'm going to. If I can prove me wrong, Brit. Lola wants to dress up as a ballerina. I was like, that's not really like a zombie ballerina. She was like, just a normal ballerina. I think the day, no, I think Halloween now.

I know it started. It's supposed to be like all the scary stuff. Halloween's just dress up. People don't even care anymore. Remember last year, the number one costume in the world was literally Raygun. Yeah, but that's scary. No, Laura. That's me.

Well, look, I do want to talk to. you obviously, as you guys know, I'm a woman of science. So I want to talk to you about a recent research study. 80% of people, 18 and over, are incapable of having a conversation without lying once every 10 minutes. So this study is saying, you basically, anyone that you have spoken to, you are being lied to or you are lying to their face within the first 10 minutes. And the truth is, Brittany made that entire study up. Is it real? You'll never know. It's a lie. It's all right. Everything we've said, Britney is not even pregnant. She just made it up. Oh, good engagement.

I imagine. Fantastic growth. Imagine the cancellation that would come after that. I would never. There's a reason I, the reason I waited so long is because, like, I wanted that, the locked and loaded. I was joking. I know, but terrible jokes.

Sorry. Let's go back to talking about the fat lady. You know that's the headline. I don't know. That's what they're going to take, Laura, thanks. You just answered me. I'm really sorry. No, I think I canceled myself with that one, babe.

You don't need to worry about that. Well, I just think, do you, off the top of your head. How many times have you lied to me today? I can't remember. probably a few. I just think, I don't think that people actually lie. I think we just tell white lies because it's easier. But it's a lie. Yeah, but it's like saying, you know, oh, this happened to a friend of mine, but maybe it was your mom or like, you know, I just think we sometimes lie as a shortcut. We're not intentionally meaning to deceive. It's just a shortcut to explaining something or

it's like, it's just not the entire truth. I don't know. I think when I read this, I was like, are people making up full salacious lies about something? Or is it just like part of their, I don't know, like an easier route to answer a question sometimes. Yeah, I think we're to both. Like, how are you today? I'm fine. I'm not fine. I haven't been fine for about seven years, but I will just say I'm fine.

You actually have never said you're fine. It's the opposite. You're coming. You tell the truth. You're like, I'm depressed. You actually, as much as I think you lie to me a lot, you never lie about your mental health. I got a message.

You can always tell me the truth. I got a really nice message from a life out today, actually. And I was like, wow, that is so considered, but also alarming that I give up those vibes. So I can't read out a life or review, but you can read out a life a message. I'm summarizing it, okay? I said, she said, she was like, Laura, I just want to reach out and make sure you're okay. She's like, off the back of a few things. I can tell you, she's not. Off the back of a few things you said recently. I'm worried about you.

Like what? Did she give specifics? Not really. She was just like, you know, you've had a traumatic few years. And I was like, have I? I don't think they've been traumatic at all. She's had kids. Is that trouble? Like, she's doing just fine outside of the children. Are we classifying his children as traumatic? You guys should have told me that three months ago. It's too late now. Anyway, it was very thoughtful.

Are you doing okay? Oh, who knows? No, I'm actually great. I'm having a great day. The only reason I can joke about it is because I'm not. It's because you're okay. Yeah, I'm fine. Okay, well, let me just continue on with the study. So the University of Massachusetts found that 60, percent of participants lied at least once in the first 10 minutes, but those who did lie,

so that 60 percent were averaging two to three lies during that tiny interaction. So like 60 percent are lying, but they're not just lying once. Like they are lying two to three times within 10 minutes. Why do you think we do it? Do you think we do it because it makes us more likable or more interesting? Like what do you think are the reasons why when you lie, for example, like why do you do it? If you're talking to someone for 10 minutes, I think based off this, I think the lies are white lies like you just said. I think they're like, what are you up to this weekend? I'm not much because you can't be fucked to be like, I've got to go to Sally's house for dinner and then I'm like, I think that there lies like that that are harmless. But if I'm ever lying to somebody, usually it's, I mean,

always, I've never lied to be malicious. It would be lying to protect someone's feelings, probably. Like I'm either withholding something because it might hurt their feelings or I'm lying to maybe smooth something over. But I would like to think of myself not as a big liar. My lies are like, like super innocent white lies. I also think people would lie for embellishment. I think sometimes people tell stories and to make the story slightly more interesting. They embellish the story. Like the story itself is still the truth,

but maybe some aspects of the story have been shifted or changed. Are you wondering if my grandma really did race pigeons? I do wonder whether your grandma raised pigeons or even if you ever have cooked a damper. That was on the Patreon. Guys, I did tell the damper story on the Patreon. I know you're all dying to know. It wasn't good. Do you know what I will say here, hands down on the podcast, I don't lie about stories.

Like anything that we've ever said on this podcast is or has happened or it is our memory of it. Maybe it wasn't in real life, but that's how we've remembered it. Well, that's an interesting part to take on this as well, right? Like, just because you tell a story or you remember something doesn't make it truthful or, you know, a fact either. Like our memory is so subjective to how we experienced a moment, a time, a feeling, an interpretation. So, like, someone may not be intentionally lying, but that.

They are lying by default because their memory of something is simply not the way in which the events unfolded. It's also big on children. Like children, when you grow up, children can remember a memory from a story like it's their own when it didn't happen. Yeah, there's loads of versions of how kids interpret their memory around things. But also, I think for me, in terms of like telling stories on the podcast specifically, I've never lied because there's no point because I think, unfortunately for us, we do and are lucky that we have such a big audience that people will say, hey, that's a lot. not true or someone from our life would be like that didn't happen like there's a lot of accountability that comes with having a big audience but what I will do sometimes is I will change small details to protect someone's identity or to like make something relevant to what we're talking about at the

time so like for example something might have happened but it didn't happen in the exact place that I'm saying it happened it's just because like I need that to leap frog to the next and that's not a lie it's just it's or you say you say I know somebody when it was like you're really good friend or something. Yeah, but they're not lying. Like we don't make up stories. And I think they're the good liars, right? They're protecting, they're not hurting anyone and they're protecting people. Do you think if you're lying three times in 10 minutes that makes you a prolific liar in the rest of your life? No, but I think it depends on what the lie is. It depends on the cadence and the frequency of which you lie and your reasons for lying. I think that there are some people

who just innately lie, who just don't seem to have the capacity to have a very good gauge on like the truth-telling aspect of their storytelling or their accounts of things. And I actually think lying is a habit as well. Some people just get into the habit of saying the things that come to their mind and they don't even intend to lie, but they're saying something. And then all of a sudden, they're halfway through a story of half of it's not fucking true. And then they've got to finish the story. And you know who those people are because they can never retell things the same. They forget the things that they say, their recount like of different situations or scenarios change. there's inconsistencies and I think like it's it becomes obvious who those people are.

Yeah, I think we all know a prolific liar. But if they're lying just for storytelling, I reckon go for it. I'd rather be entertained. Like don't let the truth get in a way of a good story, you know? Yeah, yeah. Make me laugh. I don't want the truth. I don't care.

I wanted to talk about two different relationship theories that have popped up this week because I hadn't heard about either of them. And I found both of them interesting for different reasons. The very first one I want to talk to you guys about is something called the Meet Them Twice theory. Now, the Meet Them Twice theory for anyone who doesn't know what this is, you know the saying where they say it's the right person but the wrong time. Yes. And then there's other people who say the right person at the wrong time is still the wrong person. You heard that one. Well, now there's the Meet Them Twice theory. So the Meet Them Twice theory basically says that if someone is the right person

for you, but if you've met them at the wrong time, the universe will represent that person to you again for a second chance of love, for a second chance of connection when the timing is right. And there are some arguments for why this is a good thing and also some arguments for why this is a really negative thing as well. I think there's two parts to this. I'm big on the universe, right? Like if it's meant for you, it will in a way. And it's not a blanket statement. It doesn't apply to anything. But I think that if you briefly met somebody on the street and for some reason that that was your soulmate, that the universe will present them to you again. So you've believe in the meet them twice theory. Well, but I think what's happening with this theory is some people are

maybe like in a long-term relationship or something like that. One of them doesn't want to be with them. The other person, if it's a love of their life and they're like, I know we're meant to be together. I think it's problematic then when someone's convinced themselves, like, I'm going to hold on to this because I know we're going to circle back. Like, I know I'm going to come back to you in this life and we're going to live happily ever after. And then that impacts the rest of their life moving on. They're dating or maybe they're very loosely dating because they're still waiting for that. person to come back, I think it can get like weirdly dangerous territory in the way that you perceive it. But if we're just talking, if we're stripping that back and we're just talking about the universe, then I am massive on the universe. He's like specifically in relationships, like if that

person's really meant for you, then you'll find a way. I don't like the idea of leaning into a theory like this too much because I think we can convince ourselves that someone is our soulmate. I think we can convince ourselves that when you say the universe, they're meant for you, like you can convince yourself that that person is the only person that is meant to be your person. And therefore, there is no way of defining, is this a universe energetic relationship? Or is this just my absolute undying want and need for this? Because I have a attachment issue that I can't disconnect from this person. It's impossible to know and to see the forest through the trees with this. Let me tell you a story of exactly what I mean by if it's meant to be the universe. We'll

show you. I had a friend that I went to school with. And, I mean, like, we're loosely friends as adults, but like we were very, very close back then. And in our mid-20s, he was in Spain, just doing a trip on his own. And he was at a bus stop about to get a bus. Across the road from him at another bus stop was another guy. So my friend's gay. And they locked eyes. He was from another country, didn't see each other, just looked across the road, looking at each other.

And my friend was like, holy shit, that guy is like a smoke show. They were looking deep into each other's eyes. There was some kind of connection. and the buses came, they got on and they never saw each other again. It was a moment in time. Then like two years later in America, like another country took those three moments, like two different people in Spain, they went to a party and they sat down and they looked at they were in the same room and they were looking at each other and they were like,

why do I know you from? And during that party, they were like, hang on, this is going to sound crazy. have you ever been in a bus stop in Spain and had a moment across the road with someone and they were like, fuck off. It was that person. They got married. Like that is my ultimate moment when I say like the universe will circle back and present itself to you. Neither of them ever thought about each other again.

It's not like they were pining for each other over those years. But that's just a universe thing when I refer to it like that. I mean, I love the idea. Like that is a very romantic story. It's like it's like serendipity, coincidence, all these things. types of things, right? But like the realist in me says very crazy coincidental things, the one in the 10 million things can happen, right? And that's a one in the million. Yes, yes. And I have an experience like that with Matt. For anyone who doesn't know, there was lots of articles that came out

when I met Matt saying that I knew him before the bachelor that we'd met, that we'd had a relationship, all of that was untrue. We did see each other before the bachelor, right? Like we both lived in the Eastern Suburbs of Sydney. I was at Iceberg's Gym this one day. I don't know a lot of you already know the story, but for anyone who doesn't, I was at Iceberg's Gym. I went into the sauna, and there was a gorgeous man sitting in the sauna. And Matt was next to him. And then Matt was sitting there. There was a gorgeous guy sitting in the sauna, and he was sitting there with his mate. And I walked in, and he was looking at me and I was looking at him. And we had this moment. And then I looked at his friend and his friend was bleeding from his foot. And I was like, hey,

dude, you're bleeding from your foot. And he was like, oh, fuck man, bro. And then they walked out. That was it. That was the exchange. You crossed past. We didn't, I didn't even speak to him. I didn't speak to Matt, nothing. And it wasn't until ages later that I saw a magazine and I was like, oh, that's the guy from the sauna. The guy on the bachelorese, the guy from the sauna. Anyway, when we were actually on the show on our very, very first single date, Matt had a moment where he was like, I said to him, you're either going to remember this or it's going to make me sound like I'm actually fucking insane. And he looked at me and goes, you're the girl from the sauna. Yeah. And I was like, yes. I am.

How can you call bullshit on it? There's no events that work. But I don't know if I believe that that is the Meet Them Twice theory. And I say this because I didn't walk out of that sauna that day pining that he was my person. I didn't walk out of the sauna that day going, I'm going to meet him again at a time that's a better time where we can both be together. That was not something that even entered my mind. The idea of the Meet Them Twice theory and the reason why I think it can be really restrictive

for people is that we can lead ourselves to believe that some. someone's our soulmate and then we can put everything else on hold. We can completely think that like this person's going to come back to us in our lifetime. And you know what? Maybe they will. But maybe in five years time or three years time or two years time, you will have changed. You will be a different person. You will have different wants and needs or a different standard for your relationship. And that's why it didn't work in the first place. And I say this because this is a different kind of experience I had. And I was in a relationship for six years. My first long-term, relationship. We lived together. I was convinced we were going to get married. I loved him in a way

that was probably unhealthy looking back now, but I was obsessed with our relationship. And when I first met him, I even went home to my mum that night and said, I met the man I'm going to marry tonight. We had this forever pull to each other, right? Like, when he broke it off with me, it was incomprehensible that we weren't going to be together. Like we lived together. I just could not fathom. I think I was 24 at the time, 25. Anyway, he came back into my life two years later and did the whole, I made the worst mistake of my life. I want to marry you. I want to spend my life with you. And we tried again. We really did try. And I thought that that was my Meet Them Twice moment. I was like, this is it. It's going to work. We're going to be amazing together. And we tried again.

And all of the things that I had settled for in that relationship that was actually quite unhealthy at the time, but I hadn't recognized any of those things. They were all present the second time around. Nothing had really changed. My wants in my relationship had changed. My ambitions had changed. I wanted someone who met me in their ambitions. Like, I wanted something different. And so I was the one after six months of trying that turned around and was like, do you know what? This isn't what I thought I wanted anymore.

And I was out of there. But it meant that I had literally invested almost by the time that it all kind of come to an end. It had been almost 10 years of my life that I had invested in this person, waiting for him to come back around. Well, this is why I think the idea of Meet Them Twice, Siri, is beautiful and romantic and lovely and practical. Only if you can let it be surface level and say, if it's meant for me, it will, like, it'll come back.

It's only problematic when you start to change your life and you're dating and your relationships and your strategies based on the fact of, I know this person's going to come back for me. But if you can just take it as like grain of salt, like, you know what? If that person's meant for me, it'll happen again in my life. And if it's not. And I think that's where we need to leave it. Maybe that's like the summary of this.

It's like if you're trying to manufacture, then meet them twice theory and you're holding onto something so tightly, all you're doing is missing out on what like relationship growth you could have in the now, someone that could be incredible for you, you could be under your nose, but you're never going to see them because you're so invested in something else. Yeah, just so well said. The other theory, and I'd love to get your take on it because I know how I personally feel about it,

but they've called it the rock star theory and like, fuck me sideways. There's really a theory for everything. There really is. I know I've said it before that like I don't think we need to name. everything and I love a name. I know you do. I love a term. It makes it easy to unpack stuff and like to bundle it up and a nice little label.

Well, let me tell you about the rock star theory. Basically, it's this idea that every relationship to be extremely smooth sailing and successful needs a rock and a star. A rock, the foundation, the stability, the safety that doesn't need to be center stage. Like they are just there to support you and be wholesome, blah, blah, blah, blah. and the star, as in rock star, the star is the person that has the energy and the ambition and they do want to be sent to stage and they like the attention on them. And it goes back to historically speaking in this theory, men were the stars because they

worked and they were putting themselves out there and they held the conversations. They spoke for women. They voted for women. And women were the rock. Domestically, they were at home holding down the fort. I will be here to support you, to give you anything you need. But I think it's shifted now. And the description around this idea, like the rock star foundation to a relationship,

it's more so around like, you know, that there's one person who is usually the bigger personality in a relationship and the one person who like creates more of the stability, I guess. And I don't want to be like one person shines where the other person is like stable. But that's sort of what it's trying to say. And it says that if there is two stars, there's an imbalance. If there's two rocks, it's boring. Like if two stars are competing, then there's a fieriness to the relationship where it's like, look at me, look at me, look at me.

happening on both sides. And if there's two rocks, then it's just kind of like, you're going to plod through life being supportive, but a bit bored by each other. Yeah, it does say that two stars would probably be more unstable and not as healthy and smooth sailing because you are competing for space. You're competing for your voice and your attention and whatever else. And that basically, if you're a star, if you know that you're a star, find yourself a rock. If you know that you're a rock, find yourself a star. What do you think your relationship is? How would you describe your relationship? Oh, please. I can see what you're trying to do here. I know what you're trying to do.

I think we're both stars. Look, if we're taking away the quote unquote star of it and we're peeling back to the core, I would say I am by far the more outgoing person wanting to put myself forward, super adventurous, will be able to talk to anyone. And Ben is The Rock in terms of he doesn't love limelight. And not just limelight, he will let me be the one that talks or tells a story in a room. Like he's happy to be like, oh, Brit, tell him about whatever. He's just, he's a bit more shy and, and he's very, we're both very, very supportive of each other.

But if I had to categorise us, he would definitely be like the quote unquote rock, even though he is a quote unquote, I have to see a quote. I hate this fucking word star. But like Ben, you know, he's a professional footballer. He'll go into a stadium with 100,000 people that watch him. And he's an amazingly talented person, but his personality is rock. So I think you have to take away the actual star. Yes. The literal meaning of.

Star. Like that's not what we're talking about. We're not talking about who's the famous person in a relationship. No, it's a talkative, outgoing. Yeah, it's like an energy. Like, does someone give rock energy or star energy? And I say this about, say, like, Tom Holland and Zendaya, both, obviously, incredible stars. Like, there is no debate there. But from an energy perspective, I would say Tom Holland gives rock energy. Zendaya gives star energy. Like, in the way that they present themselves on red carpets, the way he's very protective of her. I actually think Zendaya almost gives rock as well. I think they're almost both rocks. And like, I mean, we're talking about they were both the highest paid actors in the industry last year for a female

and a male and they are married. So like these people are the epitome of superstar. But when they present themselves, she also gives quite rock energy. Like they're both really cool, calm collected. They let each other speak. They let each other have their moment. I actually reckon they're rock rock. I think they're rock rock. And I think and I think you guys, you and Matt, a star, are. I, do you know what? I would agree, but also disagree. I think that people can be very different in their personal life to what they are in their private life. And I think that the way in which people, you know, like some people can be introverted extroverts, right? Like, you can be extroverted when you're amongst friends and you're out and about and you're doing things. And then when you are

at home and in your home life or like more in kind of like your comfort zone, you're more introverted in your comfort zone. Yeah, I'd say that's me. I think that that's me in some ways, whereas like, Matt is pretty extroverted all the time. Like he's on. If we have friends over, like he's the entertainer. He's the clown. Like he's, he's such a,

yes, he's the rock in terms of like, very supportive, very foundational in our relationship, incredibly supportive of me. But he is a star in his personality. And I have an off and on button for mine. Like I really can be like,

what? I've arrived. And then I can also be like, I need to be in a box and not speak to anyone. So I think it comes. down to this. Yeah, but I've never seen you like that publicly. Yeah, no, of course not. And most people wouldn't. I think it comes down to like, what is your natural kind of like default setting, whether you're an extrovert or an introvert or an introvert? I do think some people take a more

protective role in the relationship. I question whether or not introverts and extroverts are always a perfectly compatible pairing. I think we've been led to believe that like opposites attract. But I also think that sometimes opposites can get quite frustrated at each other's qualities and like need to have differences. You know, like, extroverts sometimes are really perfectly matched with extroverts because they both have the same, like, level of intensity and wanting to go out and meet new people and do all exciting things. And sometimes two introverts work really well together because they build a more, like,

homely space and they are attracted to each other's quietness and, like, they understand each other's need for, you know, space, time and all those sorts of things. I think that all relationships have very different dynamics. And there's definitely not one pairing that necessarily works better than another. Yeah, I agree. And I know in our early days of this podcast, like seven years ago, we spoke about that theory about like introverts and extroverts and who's a better match and compatibility wise and et cetera, et cetera. Now that I'm seven years on, I don't actually agree with it as much. I understand that it can make for more smooth sailing. But I just think that's more of an

intrinsic personality than a blanket statement of introvert, extrovert, rock, star. Anyone can have an incredible relationship with anyone and they're all going to look different. and they might present different problems, but there is zero relationship out there that is not going to be presented with a problem at some time. It just looks different. Yeah, and I think it's just oversimplified to say, like, here is the magic pairing and this is what works best, because it definitely comes down to values more than personality styles. I don't think I could. I remember dating someone briefly that was like, a planet, not a style.

Like he was such a big personality and like partier, talking, energy. And I would not have been able to date someone like that long term. Where is this? Suitcase guy. Oh, was he? Just big, like on, big. Yeah, but that's because he fucking loved a bit of cocaine. Big partier, love, yeah.

And I just think we were not compatible for that level. And I don't think I could be with somebody long term of that. And not anything to do with him, but of that kind of magnitude, it just didn't work for me. I wonder whether that was extrovert, though, or whether it was a lifestyle thing. Yeah, a bit of A, B, because he was an extravert. But it was 100% lifestyle as well. Yeah, because I've definitely dated people like that as well who have been like incredibly extroverted, but it's their lifestyle that they've gravitated towards because they've

loved partying. They've done lots of partying drugs. And like the lifestyle wasn't for me. It wasn't that their extroverted personality wasn't for me. Like I could handle their energy. But because of their energy, they were really attracted to stuff that I was like, I think because, I'm going to give that a wide berth. Yeah, I think it was like what you just said.

I am so you. I am on when I'm out and I love it. I love a chat. I love the energy. I love talking. I love making people laugh. But when I'm at home, I am like a slug.

I'm a slug that if I don't need to speak. Maybe that's everyone though. Do you reckon? I wonder. Nah, I have friends that can't be at home alone. They are like people that are like, what are you doing? I need to be out.

I've been home for like half an hour. They're just, people need different things to feel their cup. My cup is filled with like silence. My cup is filled with silence. My cup is filled with, like I said, sitting in the bathroom on the toilet. Right.

My cup is filled with tears. You haven't drank water in years. Anyway, guys, that is it from us. Like I said, we have a very big episode on Patreon if you haven't gone listen to it yet. And also, we have a huge episode coming out on Wednesday. Huge. A huge, but also there's ask and cut in between that as well.

Your belly is tidy. I actually love that as soon as I announced I was pregnant, Lockheed walked in with a big bowl of hot chips. I was like, oh, thank you. He knows you so well. Yeah, I was like a second trimester. else I'm winding that back. Anyway, guys, that is it from us.

If you have any questions for our big baby Brittany episode. It's Britt's baby Bonanza. For Britt and Ben's baby bonanza, slide on into the DMs. We will be asking all of the questions on Wednesday, and you know the drill. Tell you mom, tell your dad. Tell your dog, tell your friends. Tell your unborn child. Tell your embryo.

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