Life Uncut - Offcuts - The AI Boyfriend, Cadaver Fat & Why We All Just Want To Be Bored Again

Episode Date: May 15, 2026

Hey Lifers! Welcome to your weekend nom nom nom nom 🎙️ We kick things off with Keeshia finally receiving the long-awaited Santa sacks of Laura's hand-me-downs only to discover Laura accidentally donated a brand new alpaca shirt she never even wore. With the security tag still on it.  A bloke went viral after using Claude AI to be his girlfriend's boyfriend for two weeks while she was in Bali — morning texts, good night messages, inside jokes, weather updates, the lot. He even coded in a jealousy function.  Next, the "ghost lift" — the cosmetic procedure where surgeons are harvesting fat, skin and rib cartilage from cadavers to inject into the living. Bigger lips, chiselled jaws, breast augmentation. All from dead people. PSA 📣 If you're in Australia, you can no longer register as an organ donor on your driver's licence — you now have to sign up separately at Donate Life  Denmark has officially banned the cry-it-out sleep method, backed by 700 psychologists who say the neuroscience is clear. Laura shares what it was really like in the trenches with Lola, and we discuss what this means for exhausted parents everywhere. Australia is revoking passports of parents who owe child support and an Aussie dad who went viral after being pulled aside by the AFP at the airport before his Bali holiday with his fiancée did not get the sympathy he was looking for.  And finally, we came across a survey of a million women in their 30s asking what they miss about life before the internet. We get into phone use at dinner, always being contactable, the pressure to learn every AI tool before you get left behind, and why we all just want to be properly bored again. You can watch us on Youtube Find us on Instagram Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Hosted by Britt Hockley & Laura ByrneProduced by Keeshia Pettit Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford & Lachy Pugsley Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! Xx ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS 0:00 — Intro 6:36 — Man uses Claude AI to be his girlfriend's boyfriend for 2 weeks 13:06 — The "ghost lift": cadaver fat injections for cosmetic surgery 21:47 — Denmark bans the cry-it-out sleep method — backed by 700 psychologists 30:12 — Passports being revoked for unpaid child support  38:30 —What do women in their 30s miss about life before the internet? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. And this is Off Cuts, your little nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom. It's where we talk about all the shit that was going down in the group chat this week. Something that has been on not only on the group chat but also in our podcast life is that I am the recipient of Laura's charity, which is her hand-me-down clothes. My kind gestures, one might say. I'm such a good Samaritan. I know.

Some people might be like, you guys have brought this up three times now. I'm the giver. Seems weird. Why is this still going on? So I received the goods the other day. Wait, for anyone who has no idea what we're talking about, I know if you are someone who listens to all the eps, you're well across it. Basically, I went through my clothes.

I put together a whole heap of garbage bags. I intended to take them to the Salvos and Keisha was like, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me. No, no, no, no, no, no. Like a moth to a flame. Finally, finally the load was secured and Keisha took it home by Uber. Yes, yes. There were these two big bags and I was kind of like struggling

to get my way into the door. Like Santa Claus. I was so excited to go through the big Santa sacks of goodies. Oh, God. And I have gone through them. And I unfortunately for me was only able to get four items out of it, but I'm very grateful for the four items. I am so stoked.

they are beautiful they are very much my style Claire and Ness who both work with us are next in line they made that very very clear pecking into the bags but Brit I wanted to share with you my favorite item that I got from Laura's clothing oh god I brought it in with me because when I saw this I was like wow really soft and I looked at the fabrication and I was like oh my god this is alpaca so for anyone who's only listening it's kind of like a vest it's like a soft fluffy nice vest. It's just it's a fluffy shirt from Dish that I bought when I was pregnant and then it didn't fit me. Okay interesting because if you're watching on YouTube this will be a lot funnier. I noticed oh my god brand new has a tag on it like Laura has never worn this before

and that's when I started to think I was like I feel like this might be a crop top on her and I tried it on and I was like look at me go in my brand new alpaca vest. Thank you Laura you queen and i went hang on a second what's that laura did you steal this that's so annoying oh you left the security tag on not only is it tagged with like the brand new tag this has still got laura's a kleptomaniac you caught me i'm i'm winona rider i'm actually winona i'm a kleptomaniac that is so annoying because i bought that from dish with like five Okay, sorry, if you work at Dish, let this be a call out. I work in retail and I've done it.

I love Dish. I love Dish. However, they have done that so many times to me from the Bondi store and I have had to go back and get the stupid tags taken off. It is so annoying. And now to think that I've had that shirt for a year. That fucking tag. Laura, did you actually buy that with the voucher that I gave you

for your birthday? Essentially that's my shirt. Keisha, give it to me. I unfortunately want to let you guys know I always forget about vouchers so I still have that voucher. I just have been inspired. Actually, this is really, this is something that's really interesting. So I was watching a reel about this the other day. If you're into like small businesses, you would probably also find this fascinating. So there was a study that was done on Endota Spas. I saw it. Okay. So hear me out. How much money Endota

Spas makes? Like hundreds of millions, right? Like they are an enormous, enormous company. They've got over a hundred retail stores now. But the thing that they sell the most of is gift cards. They do specific meta advertising campaigns around their gift cards. And it's really hard as a business, especially as a direct to consumer business. Like, yeah, you have some success in selling business like gift cards, but like to base your business on purely 70% gift cards is an insane business model. However, the thing that no one realizes is that up to 20% of people never don't redeem gift cards. And if you're riddled with ADHD, you will know that you are the people that don't redeem gift cards. Yeah. You know what I want to hone in on? This is the same

conversation, but it is someone that I am way more happy to attack than in Dota spas because I love in Dota spas. You know, Opal cards or like, I think they're called, what are they called in Victoria? They're called different things in different states. They're your public transport cards. Mikey in Victoria. I don't know what they're called in other states. The fact that there are millions of dollars in unused money on those cards that the fucking government get to keep that's so cheeky it's so cheeky because the rides are never like a flat amount like you'll top it up with like 20 to 40 dollars but then the rides that you take are like x amount plus 53 cents and so there's usually at least a little bit left on those cards but apparently there's like

so much money that the government has got on unused travel cards sorry albo but where was that in the budget okay where was that in the budget reform you get the point okay I'm way happier to go after the government are we shocked that the government is secretly taking more money from us no are we shocked that Laura didn't realize she didn't pay for this also no her mo I do want to say this I do love dish I have a lot of dish clothes but yeah that is a bugbearer of mine that whenever I seem to shop in store they leave the security tags on I swear I do pay for things though it's not like when I shop in store and I walk out without paying for them it's so weird the security tax is so strange it didn't even be Laura that's the second voucher you

haven't used mine yeah I will use it Keisha can you please go and just walk in there and say my boss bought this I worked in retail and I've left many many on which also means that I know how to get these off uh which I'm not gonna actually you know it would be safe to share because Magnets are not thieves. You get a strong magnet from Bunnings. Fuck yeah. My other favorite store. You don't even need to buy it.

Just use it in the shelf. We do not recommend theft. And I promise I was not seven and a half months pregnant by thieving shirts. I bought this to wear. I had to go to an event and I bought it to wear to an event with a silk skirt. And I tried it on and I looked like a giant pregnant marshmallow. And so I never actually wore it anyway. hopefully it gets some use. I'll just go to Bunnings and then I'll be wearing it next week.

All right, let's get into our Offcuts episode. Now, first cab off the ranks. This is probably the funniest piece of content that you are going to find on the internet. Now, I don't know whether this is satirical. I actually think it might be satirical, but like, obviously you could use Claude for this reason, Claude being the AI tool. You could use it. It's meant to make your life more efficient. We all know that I'm about efficiency, but this is what it is. Basically, this is about a man, his Instagram handle, Matt.Basedow. Now, he's a social mediologist. His girlfriend, Yasmin, went away to Bali for a two-week trip. He is very good at Claude and he decided that while she was away, he would optimize being a boyfriend because doing

the check-ins and, you know, making sure that she's okay, doing the hello message, checking on the weather in Bali, having like the small, I guess what you'd say, like small talk that you're making with your partner while they're away on holidays. He thought that that was beneath him and he didn't need to do it. So he created a sub in Claude boyfriend that would do all of that stuff for her. He synced his messaging apps and all of his apps to Claude. So Claude would instantly in the morning, send her a variety of different good morning messages. It wasn't the same one every day. Claude went through and streamed all of their messaging conversations. So it learned intuitively how he spoke to her, the pet names that they called each other.

And for two weeks, this woman was not talking to her boyfriend. She was talking to Claude AI because he outsourced being a boyfriend while she was on holidays. Do you know, Loz, I actually don't think it's satirical because this guy apparently has made like 20 apps. He's coded 20 apps. And so his whole thing is, guys, keep hustling, keep coding. You don't even have to like don't waste your time talking to your girlfriend.

You can keep working and making money. This is the kind of thing that makes me lose faith in mankind. I'm like are we at the point that we are so fucking lazy? like we are out there crying for human connection and then you're saying you cannot even be bothered to message your girlfriend good morning when she's away on a holiday like may that relationship never ever ever ever come anywhere near me imagine not being able to write to your girlfriend in the morning and say good morning he even included a jealousy function like he coded a jealousy function i truly hope someone writes to us and says in fact this wasn't real and it's satirical but

this jealousy function that will kick in if she hasn't responded in 40 minutes, which is insane because that's not a jealousy function. That's a fucking, that's like coercive control or something. Like that's, I don't know, it just feels wild to me that there are people out there doing this. It's very Black Mirror is what it is. Is he like a 12 out of 10? Because there's no way that this guy got a girlfriend

if he wasn't hot. Oh, God. I mean, I don't want to be here saying people are unattractive and get myself cancelled. How do you pull a chick to a day? I want to read what he wrote. He wrote every morning at 7am local time, it sends her a good morning text every night, a good night text. It pulls the weather and the location using weather API references. What she told me yesterday from our chat history has a file of all of our inside

jokes that it can sample from. And also has an entire chat log from every text message that I've ever sent her. So it knows how I speak. It also had a function where it had been synced to her social media. So we would like all of her stories. It would reply to a story, send a few fire emojis five ways like it fully optimized and automated his life the reason why I think it's satirical is because I think what he's doing is he's showing what you can create on court I actually don't think that he's using this because he filmed his girlfriend going like she's in on it right like she's there in the video I think he's promoting it I think it's a promotion yeah yes I agree I think it's a promotion I actually think that him and anyone who thinks that this

is a good idea to optimize your relationship should actually just be single like that should be the outcome from this but unfortunately yeah it was very viral people had a lot of strong opinions around it people wrote things like be less time consuming to just send a couple of messages no and just like that a whole new level of low effort man is born no laws this one he's a type of dude to get his girl a vibrator and write a linkedin post titled how i scaled my relationship by outsourcing key deliverables while improving performance and increasing uptime by 1000%. It's so true. And then someone else wrote once again, it is proof time again that we just don't need men. You guys know that I use AI as a way of like optimizing businesses and stuff. I

know people have like a lot of feelings about it. We've definitely gotten comments from people being like, how dare you talk about AI? It's killing the world. Absolutely. But it is also very, very helpful if you're a small business. I will not begrudge the fact that from an efficiency perspective it does help however there is a fucking limit and we have reached the sun okay we have reached the epicenter of that limit and unfortunately yeah this guy is to blame but you're in a long distance relationship does ben's message come through at the exact same time every morning and reference the weather and the thing that you've spoken about the night before it actually does and sometimes his voice messages come through like a robot hey baby good morning

no i would be if i found out that my partner had been using some kind of ai fake boyfriend girlfriend to pretend to talk to me because he couldn't be fucked to message me good morning i would be so quickly out of there to me that is the most low effort man that you could possibly have like this is a whole new level of worrisome for the future like this is insanity to me i mean it really does take a next level but we spoke about it recently around people who use chat GPT to formulate their messages and it's like you no longer have to put any effort in when it comes to creatively thinking about what's your response to someone or like you're having an argument with your girlfriend and so you just plot in the argument or you plot in what they said and then

it gives you and spits you out a couple of options for replies like when we spoke about this the amount of people who came forward and said like oh yeah we were having this argument and my boyfriend accidentally copy and pasted the prompt into the message like really I think if you find out that your partner is using AI to skirt around actually delving into the relationship like there is a really big thing to unpack there like there is many things that we can optimize in our life but avoiding connection and avoiding what makes the relationship special and actually what makes the relationship our relationship I think is something that should be really put under a microscope you know it would be the best plot twist if she was doing it too and it's just like it's just claw

dating each other claude's like why are we doing this it's bot on bot it's insanity this is something that i can't get my head around and i can't wait for your opinion i can't get my head around if i think it is going to be a good idea or i think it's disastrous bear with me people are getting something now apparently called a ghost lift now this is an aesthetic procedure a ghost lift is instead of using fillers and things like that to sculpt a face or for boob jobs like you can get fat transfers for boob jobs for bbls which are brazilian butt lifts people are now using cadaver fat and now if you don't know what a cadaver is it's a dead body so people are harvesting fat from the dead to now inject into their own body to create the

ideal body that they want surely though okay hear me out when you sign on your little driver's license thing like yes organs like surely there's a limit do you need to like opt in yes actually you can use my fat for cosmetic reasons as well like once again is there a limit because there should be i don't mind would you would you get it though no i wouldn't get it to be fair maybe really could do with a bit of a perk up and i i don't want implant in there because you know i understand the need and the want for this because we don't want foreign objects in there but fat would not be recognized as a foreign object no this is where i'm confused about how i feel about it because my immediate thought i was like that is fucking cooked who thinks i'm gonna go put a

dead person's fat in my body but i did a little bit more reading about it apparently it lasts a lot longer and it's supposed to be safer for people to then using different injectables and fillers and stuff but it comes with its downside so what people are doing now is getting breast implants without an implant it's fat now if somebody wants to do that usually they're quite lean they don't have the fat to use so they're saying cool you don't have any fat to use but you don't want to fire an object in your body we'll go and use this cadaver fat the cadaver fat will last longer it's supposed to be safer than for whatever reason but the problem is you then have another person's fat tissue in your breasts. And I'm using breasts as an example

because I'm going to go into breast cancer. When you go and get scanned for mammograms and ultrasounds for breast cancer in the future, all of a sudden you have biology makeup in your breast that wasn't actually yours. So it creates other problems. So on one hand, people are saying, oh yeah, this is way better. I would do that. But then when you actually break it down and think about what could happen in the future with diagnostics and things like that, I don't think it's worth it I do not think it's worth putting some other person's fat in you that could cause problems with diagnostics in the future can we just like take a step back apart from the diagnostic potential of having we've lost the plot the Claude boyfriend was like black mirror no but like

our vanity and our need to look a certain way we have lost the absolute plot like surely there is a limit to our vanity and to our desperate attempts to stay youthful or whatever it is like i get that we are forever pushing the boundaries and trying to come up with the fountain of youth i get that is there not some sort of moral line that we are crossing where our aesthetic has moved into using the dead in order to harvest what has been defined of essentially the best parts of the dead this is a quote supple skin structural bone and healthy fat are being harvested and transplanted into the living this is thing like the bone is for creating structure in the jaw now i understand if this is for reconstructive surgery like i understand okay i don't have you know people

get skin grafts and all kinds of things because there is trauma and reconstructive surgery is a necessary and incredible incredible scientific feat that has been able to be provided but looking at this as something for a bbl which we already know is like an incredibly dangerous cosmetic procedure or because you want bigger titties or because you don't want to have filler in your lips so you get Jack who died six weeks ago shoved into your lips like it's fucking gross get a grip surely like I can't get around this and maybe the world will move and in 20 years time I'll be like nothing surprised me anymore and I don't care but when I read this I was like I just I understand it might be better than a foreign object I understand that it might have like less complications

potentially but I don't understand why why are we here I agree completely with what you've said I just think that people are putting salmon sperm in there. So I just, if we're going to jack off fish, I don't have that much of a problem with this using dead people. I see dead people in my skin. It really, I know you said, are we here? And you're shocked, Laura. It didn't surprise me when I read this, I was like, oh yeah, like we're a pretty fucked up world. That's for sure. Like I wasn't shocked by the fact that they're doing it, but it's even things like they're harvesting dead people's ribs and they're using the rib cartilage to then recreate people's noses like for people that want nose jobs and chiseled jaws and things like that so they're they're using dead

ribs as well who wants a dead person's rib in the middle of your face for the rest of your life like to me that is i'm like what are we doing what about recycle reuse it's good for the planet i would love to know a little bit more about i mean and like obviously it's early days and I think there's a lot of sensationalized PR around this at the moment a lot of this and I know we just touched on it but a lot of it is going to fall into the reconstructive rehabilitation side of things but there will potentially it always starts there and then it as that becomes really normalized as the procedures become like you know high level and there's a lot of experience in them and a lot of like the things that might have felt

experimental they've had a lot of success in it that's when it starts to merge over into the aesthetics. And I just wonder, like, surely there's going to have to be multiple variations of consent that you give when you die now, where you're like, yes, my organs can be used for X, Y, Z. My bones can be used for this, this, and this. But however, I don't want the fat on my ass to go into someone's lips. Like, surely there would have to be the decisions that you can make. Because the thing is here, if you say that your body, you're happy with your body to go to scientific research, technically it could be used for this. This could be considered scientific research but i think most people when they think scientific research they think like

to help cure cancers and to help like children's illnesses and like bone marrow whatever like you know you think greater and more altruistic gifting you don't think about scientific research falling into the aesthetics of potentially becoming someone's nose job i actually just want to add i know i've been taking the piss a lot but this is actually a bit of a psa you used to when you got a driver's license that was where you used to say yes or no that's actually changed in australia you have to go and register on donatelife.gov.au and I will put a link in the show notes for you. Now those driver license things, it doesn't exist. You have to actually go and register. So aside from whether they will use it for this, just as a bit of a PSA, you now have to do that.

That's a really interesting and also a really important PSA because I mean, I would hate for anyone to listen to this conversation and think that we are in any way negating or saying that you shouldn't sign up to being an organ donor like the amount of people whose lives are forever changed and saved because of people's incredible generosity i just think that there is so much value and purpose in that that to think that when you're dead you could become someone's bbl like it just that is like i'm that's horrifying i'm advocating for that laws yeah pretty like i'll have anything no i'm advocating for like use my body for science any way you want if i can be responsible for giving someone the lips they've wanted or the tits they've wanted if you want

britney in your boobs go for it like if i'm dead and i have donated my body i don't care if i'm giving you the booty without squatting you can take it like you can take my body hilarious i also i like the rule like this is inconceivable brits like i looked into it and i booked myself in on tuesday i don't want it but if you want britney in your butt how many uses like if you're someone who's got like cadaver fat in you can you then die and then go into someone else like how many times can you be reincarnated i reckon you can't keep going but you know what could be interesting now i know this is very black miri and sick but you know when we speak we've spoken in the past before about like when your parents pass away you can get their ashes made into

jewelry and carry them with you forever like you can put the ashes into a ring what if your mom was your boobs for the rest of your life like what if you were using your parents bat and recreating in your own body. Like that is the most black mirror shit I have ever heard. I'm sure Papa would be so proud. Papa lives on in your chest. You did eat him. I keep him close to my heart.

If you're a parent and you have small children, there is nothing that is more contested and controversial than how you get your kids to sleep, right? The method that you choose to use to quote unquote sleep train your children. now everyone has very different beliefs and very different systems for what has been effective for their household some people will co-sleep until the kids decide to get out of bed and move out of home and they're in university other people will be more structured because they find that

if they have you know separate beds and separate sleeps and everything else that their lives run more smoothly there's been something that's come out recently it's to do with the cry it out method now i want to be very careful with this because i know how polarizing it is for families the cry it out method is very different to controlled crying. So I don't want anyone to feel personally attacked by what I'm about to talk about. But Denmark as a country has officially banned the cry it out sleep method training. Now crying it out is basically putting your kid in a crib and just letting them cry themselves to sleep. Like some sleep training modules say you kind of work up to a point where on night, whatever it is, you put them to bed and they cry and then

they go to sleep eventually. Now, 700 separate psychologists have signed a unified statement demanding it to stop. And this is not based on parenting philosophy. It's not based on cultural sensitivities. They've come to the conclusion that it came from neuroscience. And now basically what it said is that when a baby is left to cry without a caregiver giving any response, measurable psychological change occurs. Heart rate accelerates, breathing becomes irregular and cortisol the stress hormone spikes without a caregiver's voice touch or presence to co-regulate that infant's brain is left to manage a significant stress response entirely alone it went on to say that like it's not about the occasional crying but it's about systemic

long-term crying and the effects that that has on a small child's brain i've actually just realized that back in my lab days a girl who was doing her phd at the same time that i was doing my honors was studying this uh not so much with the cried out method it was more about maternal separation and I guess deprivation of care and this was in mice mind you and whether they would go on to have anxiety-like behaviors and anxiety conditions and it was I guess the extrapolation is that if a mother doesn't provide care to an infant when it needs it do they then go on as an adult or a young adult to develop anxiety well it seems like there's been more and more research because it used to be the theory and I guess like the parenting advice of like that you could almost spoil a child like

you know don't respond to them you're training them that they you know if they cry you're going to be there so of course they're going to cry more and it was almost like you were expected to give some sort of tough love so that they learned to be independent and the research now suggests that like children and babies especially you know kids learn obviously co-regulation skills but as babies they don't learn it through tough love like they learn co-regulation through being co-regulated with someone through like you know having someone's touch having someone's presence they're warm, they're breathing. And one of the studies that was conducted that I was looking into a little while ago said that babies who are worn, like so people who do baby wearing and carry

their babies everywhere in a carrier, that those babies have a far lower stress response and sleep better because they've had that co-regulation than babies that are left on their own to be able to like, you know, quote unquote, cry it out. It's really interesting. And I think it's very divisive because for a really long time, and the reason why this has changed is in Denmark, it was the gold standard to use the cry it out method. Australia has moved away from that and we don't have cry it out as our gold standard. I think we're a little bit more progressive in terms of the way in which we see sleep training, but people have such incredibly strong feelings about the conversation around it. Even controlled crying. Some parents have extremely strong

opinions and feelings about it, but it is interesting to know that like the odd and the occasional moment where you let your child cry is not going to cause any sort of damage. but to think that this 700 psychologists got together to say, look, we know that it was what was recommended, but we actually think that maybe it causes more damage than good, I think is a really important thing to talk about. Well, Tresillian, which is the Australian sleep specialist, the sleep center, where if you're having trouble sleeping, you can actually go and stay there with your child. I know some people that have done it in the past, but they suggest and encourage that you identify your baby's cues, you pick them up, you cuddle and soothe them,

you reposition then pat them and then try and settle them later so that's the standard that they're taking and they're suggesting to parents but i can't imagine i don't have kids i cannot imagine the stress and anxiety about trying to figure out what is right as a parent because i feel like every second week somebody is saying no you can't do that like you need to let them learn to self-soothe and someone else is saying you absolutely have to pick them up because if you leave them to self-soothe they're going to have this anxiety later in life like oh you you cannot co-sleep you could kill them you have to co-sleep they have to co-regulate I cannot imagine the confusing information that we are constantly being bombarded with as new mothers I get stressed

thinking about it and I don't have kids I'm like what can I have a kid well how do I know how to keep it alive how do I know how to let it sleep then so it's I guess to know that 700 specialists have come together to formulate this information would be really comforting to a lot of people I found this quite interesting and I think other mums might find this comforting if they're kind of going through their own moral debate you know as to how they're going to approach sleep and I don't even want to say sleep training it sounds so stupid but like how they're going to approach sleep with their kids it says babies don't learn to self-soothe through isolation they learn it through repeated experiences of comfort where a caregiver's regulated presence

gradually builds the neural infrastructure for calming down leaving them alone doesn't teach independence it teaches the nervous system that distress goes unanswered which you might get quiet and compliance, but it doesn't necessarily mean that it's taught them the thing that you were hoping to gain from it. I've had such different experiences with sleep with the girls. Like Molly was an easy, amazing sleeper. She, you know, I think from the very beginning, we kind of figured it out and it wasn't, it was, it's just, you get a different kid and they're all different, you know? And as you guys know, Lola was so hard. And there were days where I put Lola in the cot and I walked outside and I sat outside and I drank a coffee and I let her cry

because I was going utterly insane because she had screamed bloody murder for hours and I was like if I don't put her in the cot I'm not going to be okay like no one's okay in this instance but like I'm already at my absolute limit and you know eventually it stopped and she calmed down and she was able to put herself to sleep and all those sorts of things but I do think that sometimes it's the baby that you get because Poppy then was amazing and like we brought her home from the hospital and she was almost putting herself to sleep from like two weeks old which is an insane thing to say and even when she was little I was like I don't want to say this because other mums that have newborn babies I know we're going to be in a really different state and so I think if you

are a mum or a dad and you were in the trenches of terrible terrible sleep you have to do what feels right for you and for your family and I think as parents it doesn't feel good when you leave your kids to just scream in a bedroom with the door closed like it doesn't I don't think that there's any parents that are walking away from that environment and going good job tonight yep just let them cry, let them cry until they vomited. Like that's fine. Like I think any parent is going to feel like that is a terrible idea. And so I think like there has to be so many more conversations and support around this because it's so hard for people to figure out what's the right path. Exactly. Like Britt said, it's just, I can't even imagine how confusing it would be

with the amount of mixed messaging. And I think also while we're talking about this though, it is important to say Lola, you know, your second experience when they just will not stop. it's also okay to like take a couple of minutes for yourself you know like totally them recommending this as not being the way to you know let them cry it out continuously and prolonged and day after day is not if your child just won't settle and you just need a couple of minutes by yourself yeah totally totally no I mean there's a very big difference between controlled crying and cry it out method but like it's an interesting conversation and I think you know it's fascinating to see that entire nations are banning a way in which we thought was the

correct way of doing something for so long. Kind of like smoking. Yeah. And smoking around your children. Well, something else I thought was really interesting that's related to kids, and this does feel very kid-centric, but I was fascinated by this. I did not know this was a thing. It has apparently been a thing since like 1996, but it's coming to the forefront now, both in Australia and America. But the US government has started revoking passports for people that owe child support. And I didn't know that that was an option. So they're starting with $100,000.

They're starting really high end. If you're a parent that owes $100,000 of child support, they will take your passport and you can't leave the country until you start to pay off that debt. Surely $100,000 is a bit high. Like make it like $40,000 or $30,000. Make it a grand. Make it less than the plane ticket because you shouldn't have bought

a plane ticket if you got child expenses. Yeah. I mean, I agree. I think the sentiment is important, but I think a hundred thousand, like, like, so if you owe $80,000 worth of child support, like what are the ramifications? You can still get fucked up in Mykonos. Yeah. What consequences are you receiving for owing that? Like a hundred thousand just feels really high. Well, it is high, but it's, I don't think they probably have the capability to go out at that level because if you drop the, if you drop the threshold for what's owed and then you're evoking those passports. That would be so many people. So I think what they've said is

they're going to start with the people that are in the 100,000 bracket, but then they are dropping it down to $2,500. So that is going to be so many people. If you owe $2,500, they can cancel your passport and they are. And they said that they're going to come out really aggressively doing this because I don't know. I think it's amazing because I saw a guy in Australia kick off last week on socials and it made me think wow how socially unaware are you to be having this conversation so there was this Australian dad and it's since been he is deleted he posted himself he got to the airport with his fiancee to go on a trip to Bali and this is he has a two kids with his ex-wife he gets to the airport in the last two weeks and they pull him aside the AFP the Australian

Federal Police and they say sorry you can't board the flight and he's like what do you mean and they said, you owe $10,000 in child support, so you can't go. So this is actually happening in Australia now as well. And he got on socials. So his fiance flew, he got on socials and basically kicked off saying how crazy it is that you can get to the airport on a holiday you've paid for and not be allowed to fly because you owe $10,000 of child support. And he's like, I, you know, I need this holiday for my mental health. And I, oh no, you needed to see the comments. The comments were like bro how about your ex-wife whoever you have left with two kids and you're not paying child support if you can go on a on a holiday to bali with your fiance you can pay your kids child

support i do remember in that video though brit he was saying and i'm not excusing it i'm just saying this is what he said he said that the children had been kind of like a almost weaponized and taken away from him and he didn't have any access and so i think there was a bit going on with the whole like i'm not going to pay until i get access sorry regardless yeah don't shoot me on just the messenger if there has been government mandated child support because you have gone through litigation to come to that place yeah that also comes with you know being able to have rights to see your kids and whatnot like you don't get to just take the responsibility and go well I'm not paying you until you do this you go back through litigation again and I like if you have

enough money to pay for a Bali holiday for your fiance and whatever other kids you have you have enough money to consult your lawyer and say my ex-partner is not allowing me access to the kids Like, yeah, like I, that to me is just like such a bullshit way of getting out of your responsibilities and shirking the blame onto someone else. Yeah. But it's so true what you said, Brit, like if him posting that and lacking the social words, he could not waterboard that shit out of me. No, totally.

And the other thing was, and I, I understand what you're saying there, Keish, and I agree with it. Some people do weaponize their children in relationships for certain things, like, and sometimes it's not fair. I understand that. but he was sort of just contradicting himself the whole time. So he would then say, you know, yes, yes, I have fallen a little bit behind in my child support.

Sorry, $10,000 is not a little bit behind. He's like times have been tough. Times are not tough enough that you're going to Bali with your fiancé. So like your priorities are cooked. I am for this. A lot of people are kicking off saying you shouldn't be able to revoke a passport because you owe your kids money, but I think it's brilliant. I think if you've got enough money to go on a holiday

but you're not paying your child support, then good on them. I think it makes perfect sense. also you're allowed to revoke a passport if you owe an insane amount of tax like there's so many different thresholds as to why you can and can't travel out of the country like having a passport is not necessarily a right it is a privilege that we have and I think that if you are not partaking in all the other parts of what makes you a like abiding citizen then you don't have the right to just go and like fucking party like you said in Mykonos but another part of this around it being a set amount like a hundred thousand dollars and that being very very high it's going to affect

two different types of people disproportionately. People who are extremely high income earners who have a very, very high amount of child support that they have to pay will hit that threshold of not paying it far faster than someone who has a very low income and may not have paid for, you know, 10 or 20 years or something. Obviously you're not getting child support when your kid's 20, but you know what I mean? Like you could be on a lower income and not pay child support for 10 years and then reach that a hundred thousand. Whereas if you're in a multimillion dollar income and you don't pay for a couple of months, you might reach that a lot faster, which I'm not saying either of them are okay.

Won't someone think of the rich? What about the rich people? Poor rich bastards. I'm saying it should be both. It should be like time and also amount because, like, someone could owe a very small amount of child support. Like, I mean, this is probably giving too much about my personal family history, but, like,

I think about my brother's dad. His child support was, like, literally negligible because he didn't earn any money so therefore the price was so incredibly low right almost laughably low that you wouldn't pursue it if he chose not to pay but he could essentially choose not to pay his child support for 10 years more you know for his entire childhood and still never be affected by that do you know what I mean in which case it's like no there is an amount you have refused to pay it you're responsible and so I think it should be also a time that needs to kick in gear it's like okay cool you haven't reached that hundred thousand dollars but you

haven't paid for five months so you're automatically on that sort of blacklist as well it would have more sort of parity in how they're doing it you know what also could be a good factor that if they actually bring this in properly in australia is like a lot of people are dual citizens i'm one of them and if i was really behind on child support and wanted to fuck off to the uk and go live there i could do that but if they took away my australian passport i wouldn't be able to get out of the country so if people are dual citizens or if they have a passport for somewhere else removing their ability to leave Australia means that they are going to have to be accountable in our country. Well, it's like, you don't have the freedoms because you have responsibilities

because you parented children. Well, listen to this. Listen to the, you tell them Laura. No, because it's disproportionately, no woman is just not paying a child support. Do you know what I mean? Like it's, it's so disproportionately men who can choose not to father or take responsibilities. Sorry. It just is like, I don't know a single mom and I'm sure there are out there. I've got no doubt. You don't have to come for me and be like, I know this one mom who didn't pay child support. Great. That's not the norm. Like it is men who have children and choose not to pay child support for whatever reason. Yeah. Women mainly don't have to pay child support because they're usually the primary caregiver. When there's a separation, the woman usually

takes the children. And so that's why the father pays. But listen to this stat. Cause I just think this is crazy. In Australia, the problem is so big that people owe more than $1.5 billion in child support. New South Wales and Queensland carry the most debt at $370 million. So $1.5 billion in child support is owed just in Australia. Once again, the budget. Anyway, they could have done something about that. To finish this off, I came across this really wholesome post where somebody asked 1 million women in their 30s in a survey, what do you actually miss about life before everything was online? And I thought the responses were really beautiful because this generation, I say this generation, they're saying the generation of

women now in their 30s and early 40s, which includes just Keisha a little bit, but mainly me and Laura, but we were the generation that knew life as a teenager and semi-adult before the internet and then we knew the internet. And I think that that's a pretty special place to be because we got the best of both worlds. Like we were old enough to live life without the necessities or without the comforts of the internet. I loved reading this because it really, for me, took me back to a time that I think was some of the best times in my life. Like when I was in my early twenties and I was going traveling without the internet as we know it now, I just remember how much more present I was traveling and I was having this conversation with Ben yesterday I was like

what do you miss about life before the internet and he was like I was five so he misses nothing but he was a child he was still a child he was like no Brittany I've always had the internet but I remember going traveling and like I remember things more vividly and I often wonder if that's because you're not looking at it so much through a phone and you're not just quickly taking the content to be able to repurpose it to put on Instagram like you were there in the moment and you were seeing it through a different lens you were experiencing it with your friends or whoever you're with you were so much more present and then you would call like your family after a week of not speaking to them and you'd have so much to tell them because they hadn't looked at everything

online like you know now I call my dad my dad's like oh I see that place you went to yesterday was beautiful Brit and I was I'd have nothing to tell him because I'm like yeah I posted it all I don't know I think that we fall into the trap of romanticizing the past and remembering things with rose colored glasses and differently to how they actually were. And my only thought of that, Brit, when you say like that, you feel as though you remember things more clearly or they felt more vivid. I to that question, is it because it was the first time that you were really traveling overseas? Like those experiences were so new and so rich when you're 20. Like I remember when I first went to Europe when I was 21, it was like someone had fucking turned the lights on. I was

like, Oh my God, I'm forever changed. I'm so annoying now. But like, I was just, it was incredible I'd never been overseas like that I'd never had those experience experiences feel bigger and more impactful when they're the first time you're experiencing them yeah like that first time I saw the coliseum on a walk of shame you know like you feel you'll never forget that you're never gonna feel that level of awe necessarily because you're jaded by the fact that you've traveled the entire world so like new places don't have the same like oh my god that feeling because you've become accustomed to that feeling I think a little bit yeah but I'd also I mean I'm very very lucky that I spent my whole 20s traveling like I turned 18 and I chose

to travel the world like that was a choice that I wanted to spend my money on and so I'd done probably 20 countries by the time that we started using Instagram and the internet and I know that sounds crazy but for me I don't I understand what you're saying Laura and it's true but when I think back and I'm thinking of really specific trips they weren't my first time traveling like I was a very experienced traveler by then, but I just compare it to the way I experience it now. And for me, it's just, it feels different. Like, and maybe I am being a little bit nostalgic for that time, but I think when you're not living everything through a phone and I feel the same way about concerts, like, you know, when we go to concerts and there's a sea of people that have their phone

in the air and you think how many of you are actually like just consuming this and remembering it for the moment, other than looking at it through a phone. Do you know what? I had that feeling at the Dua Lipa concert I couldn't see a single fucking thing I was in the standing area and just everyone had their phones up and I was pregnant and angry because I'm always angry these days but like all I could see I wasn't I could not see her I could only see her through people's phones that all had their phones up because there was so many people with their arms in the air with phones that like I only saw her for a brief second in between people's arms so I get that feeling I I think for me, and it's more so the pressure of the circumstances that we're in now is

that we are constantly and always contactable and we are constantly and always, there is always something that needs to be done because there is no sense of boredom or waiting because well, you're on your phone, you've got your phone on you. Why didn't you write back? And I guess like, you know, there's a lot of people who like me don't write back to every message, but like there is an expectation that you do, that you're always contactable. And then there's the question mark of like, well, why haven't you, you know? whereas back in the day if the phone rang and you missed it that's it you gotta wait like you gotta

wait till the next day or like if you didn't have an answering machine like we just weren't so available all the time and I find the availableness if that's even a word overwhelming quite a bit like I feel quite overwhelmed by it constantly being contacted and asked things I had this conversation with a friend the other day because she just purchased a brick you know those things that can block notifications on your phone you set it for a certain amount of time Sherry uses it The thing that I find kind of weird, and I said this to her, I was like, hang on, let's just let me get this straight. We've bought the device. We've bought into the whole, like, every notification that can ever take our attention. And we spend so much money and time on that. And then we've had to buy something to block it all. Like, I was like, the capitalism circle is just going round and round and round. Also, turn it off. You have the option. And I actually experienced this in Bali last week because my phone didn't

charge overnight. And so when we went upstairs to the breakfast buffet, I was like, Oh, I'm just going to leave my phone in the room to charge. And Brit, I totally get what you mean about these like interactions. I actually was more present. It made me realize I was like, the problem is not the internet. The problem is my phone use. Like the problem is me and just quickly checking or just looking at that or just picking it up. And I just had this breakfast with my partner and it It was just like really nice. I was like, I need to put my phone away more. Last night, Ben and I went on a like very cute with our new friend.

You guys know I made a friend. They invited us over for dinner. And so we went to their apartment for dinner. They cooked this beautiful dinner. I left my phone in my bag. Now, if I go to dinner, usually most people's phones, like even though they're upside down, usually you put them on the table. I don't know why.

It's always like we need to feel like, oh, in case someone needs me, I've got it. I left my phone in my bag at the door because it was our first time there. and I just wanted to be present. We sat down and had dinner. The conversation and how much I enjoyed that night was something that I was like, wow, I haven't had this, this kind of an evening in so long. We didn't, I didn't know what the time was. Eventually we went to leave and I was like, oh my God, it's midnight. Like I just completely was really embracing and involved in the moment. And I thought, how good is this? I need to start leaving my phone at home more because the connection that you have and the moments that you have and the interactions just feel so much more

authentic and there is nothing worse than when you were talking to somebody and they just like pick their phone up and have a look at it when you're talking to them you know what I mean you're like are you still listening to me it's because we live our life constantly distracted like we live in a state of constant distraction but it's not our fault either and I think like obviously we can do things to minimize that but like I also don't want to place blame on people like you have these things and these devices that are constantly yelling at you and like yes you might have gone for dinner with someone but you might have something really pressing that was happening at work that stressed you out of your brain and so you're checking what's the damage control the

fact that we are always contactable means it's really hard for people to just switch off but I mean there were a couple of very sweet comments on this and I you know like I said I do think that sometimes we look back on things with rose-colored glasses but this one was one that I absolutely agree with it said I want to be properly bored again I want my brain to remember that instead of laying on the couch and scrolling that oh yeah I could pick up a book and read or I could go work on my little craft project or maybe I could go do something productive in the house these things just don't even cross my mind half the time because I go straight to my phone. I never know what it's like to feel bored. No, I think that's really great. And one of the other ones that

resonated with me was when there was no need to learn absolutely every app, every software, know everything about every single AI tool and know every skill in the book or you'll be left behind. That to me is so accurate. I cannot tell you how many courses I've signed up to in the last two weeks since I've been here because I've obviously clicked on something on Instagram, on the algorithm, like, oh, I need to learn this. I am doing so many AI courses right now and I'm like, why? I'm like, why? I'm doing like I started with AI 101 and now I'm doing all these

more intense courses because I'm like, oh, my God, I am going to get left behind. I'm going to get left behind. Oh, my God. Mel Robbins' ad got really good to you. I gave them my bank details. No. But it's like this fucking, like just let us live.

Like you're constantly like, oh, my God, everyone else is doing it. If I don't do it, I'm never going to have a job again in the rest of my life. It's like, it's overwhelming for people. Well, if you take anything from this episode, put your phone down, go for a walk. Just once the podcast is finished. Talk to some people, smell the air, look at the colors. Touch the grass.

Spend time with your friends and your family. The end. Live, laugh, love. Live, laugh, love forever. Anyway, guys, that is it from us. If you love the episode, you know that you can go and leave us a review because we really like that. You can also go and subscribe to our YouTube channel.

And if you have any questions for Ask Uncut, you can slide into the DMs at lifeuncutpodcast or you can put them into the discussion group because we will screenshot them from there anyway. And you know the drill. Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friends and share the love because... We love love!