Life Uncut - REAR IN YOUR VIEW OF 2023!

Episode Date: December 25, 2023

Hey lifers!We hope you've had such a great Christmas with the people you love the most!This is our highlight reel of 2023! It's some of the funniest, most insightful, perhaps most valuable lessons from the wonderful people who have joined the podcast throughout the year. You can listen to all of the episodes by using the links below:Matthew Hussey Matthew Hussey Does Give a F*ck About Your Relationship Joanne McNally The Art Of Riding A Lover To Sleep Vogue Williams Is Your Husband Jealous Of Your Best Friend Sarah Wilson Dating Younger Men, Making Anxiety Beautiful & Travelling The World Solo Hugh Van Cuylenburg Mental Fatigue & How To Make Vulnerability A Strength Steven Bartlett Make it 1% Better! Sweating the Small Stuff The Shrine The Last Instalment Was In This Episode Elizabeth Day Does All Failure Lead To Lessons Or Success? Laura and the Pigeons The Pigeons Trinny Woodall The 'Currency' of the Ageing Woman Milestone Disappointment Milestone Disappointment Ask Uncut When A Threesome Turns Into A Pregnancy Ask Uncut When You're the Only Single One In Your Friendship Group   We hope you had such a wonderful time going back through some of our favourite moments of 2023! If you have an question please send it on it to life uncut podcast on Instagram hereJoin us on tiktok Or join the facebook group here Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands were never ceded. We pay our respects to their elders past and present. Always was, always will be Aboriginal land. This episode was recorded on Darug Walamutta land. Hey guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I am producer Keisha. I hope you've all had such an unreal Christmas. You've been able to spend some really special time with the people that you love the most and hopefully all things across you've gotten some time to recharge those batteries and have a bit of a relax. I know it's not possible for a lot of

people at this time of the year because it's seemingly the busiest time of the year for everybody but today's episode is my favorite of the year. I absolutely love doing the Rear In Your Views because it gives us the opportunity to go back and listen to some of the best moments from the year and for this one Laura Britt and I sat down and we looked at every episode that we've created for this year and to be honest it was just for me I really I genuinely looked at the list and I was like wow how do we pull this up like it was a real pinch me moment of how did some of this come about like I truly cannot believe some of the incredible people that we have been able to share some moments with this year on the podcast so there's going to be a lot

of laughs there's going to be some more insightful moments perhaps some valuable lessons there's a couple of ask uncuts peppered into this rear in your view and if you've looked at the episode title and you're like that's a weird thing to call the last episode of the year what's that about lacks a bit of context I'll give you the context it was back in 2021 I think it was Brit I'm not 100% sure actually but one of the girls went to say year in review and what accidentally came out was re in your view so we had a bit of a laugh about it and we're rolling with it and that is now forever on what our last episode of the year where we highlight the year will be called I really really hope you enjoy this one I'm looking at the list of people that we have

included some of the guests from this year's uh best moments or some of what we deem to be some of our favorite moments seems to be a bit of a like British and Irish theme for a lot of the guests there's going to be quite a lot of British accents in this rear in your view that wasn't deliberate it's just the way that things have worked out and I think some of the conversations that we had this year have I don't know how you feel about it but for me I definitely have felt like I have learned so much about myself from the wonderful people that have joined the podcast and I hope you feel similarly for each of these little segments of the episodes if you really enjoy it or perhaps you missed it throughout the year where you just missed the week or you missed the

conversation in the show notes of the episode I will link every single one of the whole episodes for you to go back and listen through if you would like so if you scroll down into the show notes each of the segments will be hopefully quite clearly labeled and you can tap on that and have a listen throughout the summer period. Our first guest joining us for the year in review, sorry, the rear end of you of 2023 is the phenomenal Matthew Hussey. Now Matthew would have to be, I would say he would be the number one dating coach in the world. He's definitely what I would consider to be the number one dating coach in the world. And I think it's because his advice has always been very relatable and it's been quite insightful but not in a like super

introspective or you have to really get deep with someone it's been very actionable advice is what I think has come out of Matthew Hussey and this particular moment when he joined Brit and Laura I thought was a moment where I could see the inner workings of his brain like you've realized where some of your advice falls a bit short I'm always obsessed about the nuance of things like when is that true? When is it not true? For example, when someone says, watch, you know, this is good advice, right? When you're dating someone, watch what they do, not what they say. That's good advice. That will save you from a lot of bad situations in life. If someone keeps telling you they love you, they're, I care so much about you. I always want the best for you, but everything

they do is damaging to you and they're inconsistent and they treat you poorly and they disrespect you and they cheat on you they lie well their words really cease to matter at that point their behavior is telling you everything you need to know about the person but what would happen with me is I because I've worked with so many people now over 15 years I would always hear something that would stop me in my tracks and make me go, oh, hang on. I feel like I need to go back to the drawing board on this. And an example for that piece of advice, which is good advice, is when someone would say to me, but Matt, I'm with this person and they literally treat me like I'm their girlfriend. They take me to meet their family. Like we've gone on these amazing trips together.

He's big with these gestures and he spends all this time with me. We speak for hours on the phone. And yet he tells me he just doesn't know if he wants a relationship. And so many people have experienced that. Yeah. So if you apply, watch what they do, not what they say to that scenario, you're going to get yourself in a lot of trouble because what they're doing is showing you all the right things through their behavior. But what they're telling you is that they don't want a relationship.

Well, that to me is nuance. You add a layer of complexity there where you say, oh, well, actually, what appears to be true empirically is that you should follow the rule of watch what they do, not what they say, unless what they say to you is inconvenient for them to say and wouldn't help them in any way. so if i'm a guy and i want to continue to have this intimacy and this connection and regular sex and all of the things that come from doing that with a person i don't want to tell you i don't want a relationship because it might hurt what i'm getting you might decide oh if that's true then i'm out so i'm risking the things that i'm enjoying by admitting this and if you imagine for a guy like that he feels like he has to say it or he should say it or he wants to to keep your arm's length but it doesn't help his cause and if something doesn't help someone's cause but

they say it anyway you can believe that thing then it's almost like the rule inverts because now it's like the small print at the end of a pharmaceutical ad a pharmaceutical ad is this whole commercial where the whole time they're like showing people bouncing in a field who you know were struggling with back problems but now they're having a great time and look how great their relationship is and look how great life is and it's changed their life taking this back pill or whatever it is and then at the end of the commercial very very quickly it races through the fact that this pill is going to make you suicidal you might vomit you might have diarrhea you might it might ruin your life like it might ruin your sex drive yeah but you could be happy

And here's the thing. Those are the things that they have to say. They wouldn't say it if they had a choice, but they have to say those things. So you don't necessarily know if any of the nonsense marketing was true, but you know, the other things are true because they wouldn't say them unless they had to. So when someone's telling you something that doesn't help them to tell you that's usually the part that's true even if their actions are giving you lots of hope next up in our year in review is arguably the funniest person i have ever gotten to meet and i don't say that dramatically truly when we met joanne mcnally she is the irish comedian that also has the podcast my therapist ghosted me the day that we met her she came into the studio we

recorded the episode with her and then later that night we went to her comedy show at the and more theater in Sydney. And when I got home and for the entire next day, the lower parts of my jaw felt like they had gone to the gym for a workout. Like I had doms from laughing so hard at Joanne. You know, there's people you think they're so hilarious. It must be just that funny when they're in character or they're doing their comedy bit. Joanne's not like that. She is truly the funniest person I've ever spoken to. It just in her regular conversation, like she's just a laugh and a half and I particularly

loved the story that she told in the podcast The podcast I do I do a podcast with Vogue Williams and Vogue is like femininity personified

like just very together everything's like colour coordinated she fells her knickers while her housekeeper does shit like that She's perfect

She is perfection and she looks like Cindy Crawford and she's three kids and not a single stitch Very proud of that and like when we get drunk together

I'm like I can't watch your birth videos again Vogue and she'll be showing me the birth videos Please don't make me do it And the child just like Slips out like Cher

Like it's coming out Through the ground Like do you know When something comes out Through the ground of a They come out fully clothed Teething and everything Like with toys

With their Swarovski Yeah yeah yeah Their Gucci tracksuits and stuff But em So that was kind of The basis of the podcast Because I was the opposite of that But anyway

Vogue Like what we were saying earlier About trying to get content For the pod Vogue was like Come in come in Because she was having Some postnatal

She wasn't actually Having a postnatal issue But she was doing some Vogue would collab With fucking hand grenades Like she's big for the collabs So she was like I'm doing a collab

With a Kegel chair And I was like A what? She's like a Kegel chair And I thought it was Some like ring light thing But it's not It's for

You know if you've got kids How's your pelvic floor? Oh look It's not as good as it used to be Box jumps Particularly bad The fact you're doing box jumps Means you're at a certain stage

With your pelvic floor Well I don't anymore For that reason Yeah yeah yeah I've used a Kegel chair Have you? Yeah just for fun Yeah

I wanted to try it out I'd say if you turned it on right You could get great crack out of it It is supposed to also Help with your orgasms Well Now I didn't come on the chair Thank God

That would be really embarrassing But anyway So folks like come in I'm doing this collab With this Kegel chair And it just kind of buzzes Your vagina back After you've had a kid basically

Because your pelvic floor Kind of collapses or whatever And I didn't even know Like I'm not aware I have no kids Anyway I went in Firstly I shaved Waxed

And was Came in like With alopecia From the eyebrows down Because I assumed That we were getting buzzed Like internally Folks I come and get

come and sit on the vag chair because it'll be good for the podcast what do you think you sat on it like a pogo stick yeah i thought it would be like a cattle prod and put it in you and like buzz your back so this is what i did we went to bali and i had that done internally in bali on a holiday i went to a day spa i kind of enjoyed it but anyway i understand why you're getting your labia gently massaged by an electrical prod what's not to like it was relaxing i can't i'm i have a very i don't know what you say low level or high level of eroticism like i i can't even get in a head massage in the in the hairdressers embarrasses me do you know when they go real slow and you're like this is you get turned on no it just makes me really embarrassed I'm like how do you not

think this is erotic I go to the hairdresser to get that head no it's so embarrassing okay you're some 14 year old girl massaging her head you're like oh my god keep going with your kegels too so anyway I go in and I was like I say I waxed everything I was prepared to have I thought I'd be in a gown but anyway go in and Vogue's sitting there head to toe

in white on this chair she looks like Mariah Carey like there's like a wind machine at the back of her hair and she's just sitting there

going and I was like oh you're fully clothed so it was totally different to what I thought it was so it was just sitting like a chair like this but it's a huge yoke

and it like buzzes anyway Vogue's like well I'm getting buzzed you do the pelvic floor test so I sat Maria was the she's a postnatal

physiotherapist she's like sitting in the thing so sat in the thing and so it gauges your pelvic floor like a heartbeat so like you clench

and it like goes up and down and up and down so I was on the seat thing she was like and clench and so I was clenching and she's like I said clench

and I was like yeah clenching and she you could see her like flat lined completely flat lined no response at all so then she was like

seeing was the thing plugged in she was like oh wow basically you've no pelvic floor and she said to me when did you give birth when did you give birth

and I went I've never given birth I said my vagina is very much at the taking phase she hasn't pushed anything out and she's like

So then I I'm now a patient In a postnatal Physiotherapist clinic And Vogue bounced out Perfect after three kids She never went back They were like

There's an issue here Turns out I'm misaligned And my pelvis Is on the ground Or my uterus Is up in my eyeballs I don't know Anyway

Then I had to have A postnatal physiotherapist I've never had a fucking child The original story I was going to say Was because I used to Wet myself loads When I laughed as a child

But I think it's all connected 100% it's connected Yes Absolutely Yeah You're having some sort of like uterus prolapse you didn't even know you're like what is that I'm not even have a prolapse I never lapsed how does that translate in the bedroom like sex wise do you have those moments

where they're like I'm coming you're like what it's in no it touches the wall still bring god well I don't know she flatlined on the kegel chair it'd be more that they'd be like is it in not me I'd be like I can feel that yeah that's good they're like I don't know they want to put those you know in a bowling alley when you're shit at bowling they put those inflatable things up the sides

they were like do you have any of them for your insides because I can't fucking feel a thing here it's not about size it's about grip so anyway

so now I have to do and then I spoke about it before because obviously I just thought it was funny and then these women were messaging going so brave

to talk about your so brave so beautiful so brave I was like shit I just thought it was a funny story I didn't realise

i've got pelvic issues there's nothing more patronizing than when people tell you how brave you are just for like showing up in like for being you showing up in the world existing and people like you're so brave wearing that you're so brave you're like i'm just wearing a fucking bikini at the beach babe that fringe is brave you know when you turn out with no makeup on that's what gets me when you decide to go i'm gonna get makeup free i'm feeling myself and people like so brave i pray for you and you're like oh like yeah like iconic it just kind of doesn't mean anything anymore oh Joanne just has me laughing so much that I feel like I would have abs if I listened to her for hours a day but she also mentioned in there that she hosts the podcast with Vogue

Williams now Vogue I'm really sorry but Vogue didn't make the rear in your view for 2023 but I did love that episode with her I will link it in the show notes because we were also lucky enough to have Vogue on the podcast this year and that was truly another laugh we kind of got to know the inner workings of their friendship how they started the podcast and how Vogue goes about working with her husband Spencer who you might know from Made in Chelsea. Coming up next in the rear in your view I keep on going to say year in review let's just use them interchangeably for the rest of this episode is Sarah Wilson. Now Sarah Wilson is originally known for a couple of different things she was a journalist she also did a lot of TV stuff in Australia and she's really

known for her I Quit Sugar movement. Growing up I thought that the I Quit Sugar thing was a kind of along the lines of like a diet book I thought it was really about weight loss but it was in this conversation that we had with Sarah that I learned that she actually got into the reducing sugar intake movement because she has Hashimoto's disease which is an autoimmune condition and so the sugar in her diet was quite inflammatory for her body and that's kind of how it all came about and Sarah was just such an interesting person to speak to there were so many different parts that we could have pulled from this episode to be the highlight couple of minutes you know Sarah is the type of person who worked out how much money she would need for the rest of her life

kind of stored it away and gave every other bit of her wealth to charity which is just phenomenal she travels the world she's got like two suitcases of belongings she's just a really interesting person lives quite a nomadic style of life but in this part of the chat we were talking to Sarah about why she dates younger men or what she kind of sees the value in younger men and why. I'd read something about you in the Sydney Morning Herald and it was very intriguing to me. Now, it's intriguing because my partner's five years younger than me. My ex is seven years younger than me. I date down. Age range. Sorry, typically, yeah, I date down in age range. I don't know if it was always intentional. It just sort of fell that way. But you have said that you sort of lean

towards dating down, which is funny because they're the people that don't show up as well. The men are probably not emotionally mature enough, yet they're the men you seem to be leaning to. Why is that? Is that because you have trouble finding somebody that is willing to meet you on your level that is your age? Well, what I would say is in fact, men my age are worse than the younger ones. They're actually more scared. So they've picked up the behaviors of the younger generation from the dating apps and we've all done it, right? women are doing it as well. It's the vibe. And the technology actually enables it. But I find that men my age are even more confused, more scared than men in their 30s. My father has a

good theory on this. He reckons that when guys have got testosterone in their system, it gives them this bravado. And over the years, it also starts to dial down and they lose their mojo. and also older men have had more knockbacks they don't have as much confidence whereas the young guys they've just got that sort of that rawness you know where they'll give it a go the other thing I mean I'm really going into the weeds here the other thing is is that I think younger guys who are not wanting to commit they're faced with a generation of women who are getting married younger like my generation we didn't get married my friends did not get married you know I'm sort a child. I was in my early 20s in the early 90s, and that was full austerity. There wasn't a lot

of money. There was a recession. It was all about feminism. It was the grunge period. We didn't wear makeup. We wore secondhand clothes. We didn't wear bras. We wore flat shoes. It was all that kind of thing, right? What that's sort of done is it's created a certain sort of mindset. What's happening now I find is with the younger guys the younger guys they had mothers like me right I date guys who have mothers the same age as me and literally so they've been brought up by feminists and feminist teachers and then they get to their sort of late 20s and you know early 30s and the women are a sort of different type of woman they're wanting to get married like you know that's actually being shown statistically they're getting married and you know we've had a period of

incredible opulence in Australia, in the West, right? And so that creates a very different dynamic with women. Women's rights and body shape and role in society shifts with the economics of the time. And you'll see over here in Europe where they're actually going through the beginnings of a recession. The cost of living crisis is really affecting and fashion has changed. Women are dressing differently. And that's happened throughout history. If you think of the flapper era, in the 1920s and 30s, war and the depression. Women's bodies were straight up and down. Women were in the workforce. You had the suffragette movement. Women got the vote. Women are out there getting all these kinds of rights. Anyway, so there's a bit of a background there. So yeah,

I find that men who are not wanting to get married, they're wanting to focus on their career. They're quite creative and ambitious and all that kind of thing. They're going, well, who do I date? older women fit the bill because we're not going to demand anything of them. We're literally going to be in the present, having a great time, not wanting to get a ring on our finger and not wanting to get pregnant anytime soon. So I think I actually find more engagement, genuine engagement, like old school engagement, where they're actually interested in me as a person among the younger men, which is great, you know, when they turn up. When they turn up, that's exactly right. Sarah, something you wrote about in one of your recent newsletters kind of to do with this

topic it was titled I'm a spin star I spin well and in that piece you wrote something that really intrigued me and you basically said that the term spin star and I guess we could use cougar like there are all of these terms for women who date younger men and who are open about their dating life and that it's exciting and that they're passionate lovers and things like that it's not equivalent to the term bachelor you know we seem to kind of have this view of the way that we use the word spinster that is negatively geared. Have you experienced that? Yes and no. I think it's more that women take that on ourselves. We perceive it. And I've got a real mindset that I've had for a very long time. Where the mind goes, the energy flows. So if you focus

on that for yourself, that's what you'll get back from everyone. You'll get that perception back. So in many ways, I've operated almost oblivious to the fact that I'm meant to get married and I'm meant to be doing all of these things. And I've just got on with things. And every now and then I go, oh God, yeah, that's right. I've missed that memo. So the spinster thing is interesting though, isn't it? Because this term started out along, I think it was in the 1600s to describe women who were really good at spinning. And because they could spin, it meant that they actually had a skillset that was valuable and they had their own income. What do you mean by spinning is that like a material thing spinning wool thread we're talking a long time ago yeah

I just pictured people who were really good on the dance floor like spinning around and I was like okay Keisha's younger than us Sarah so see that jumper you're wearing back in the olden days so yeah see women who could spin thread right whether it was silk or wool it was a spinning wheel anyone who was really good at spinning it meant you had your own income right you were financially independent so you could come into a dynamic you know with something to offer and that was seen as a really good thing so these women that went off and had you know careers so to speak sitting around a spinning wheel were seen as a desirable entity so you were considered a spinster unfortunately now obviously that's taken on a derogatory connotation but yeah I think the world

is shifting we are in an incredible time of flux for all kinds of things including gender roles including like look what AI is doing to I mean I'm sure many of your listeners think about this like we're hearing about it how's it going to affect all of our jobs everything's up for grabs and so we are in a great dynamic time to redefine all of these things for ourselves and in fact I like the idea of slippy like while everyone's been distracted by all of these rules and ideas and fears I basically just kind of put on my backpack and piss on off to Paris or whatever and get on with my own thing you know like it's a really good time to not be stuck in those roles these stereotypes and constricted laneways now this next part of our rear in your view is from

a conversation that laura and brit had with huven kylenberg now huven kylenberg is the man from the resilience project he also is one of the co-hosts of the imperfects podcast and a part of their podcast is that they have these things called vulnerability cards and the cards are used to inspire somewhat deep conversation you know parts where we share about ourselves that perhaps we haven't shared before and this particular question that he posed to Laura I think it really struck a chord with so many people because I think it's something that so many of us can relate to almost not in a good way it's something that we feel deep within ourselves but perhaps we weren't brave enough to say it out loud okay here's one for you Laura which I this is again

this is a full-on question to answer so I hope you don't mind this one at you but what are you ashamed of just a light one to finish today's I had a look through some of these questions so I had to look through some of the options so I've had time to kind of process this and think about what I would say and really feel that shame yeah and really sit in my shame Um, no, look, this will probably make me cry, but there's something that I, my, so my grandfather passed away. You are, you can't talk about your grandpa. I honestly can't really struggle with it. So a couple of years ago, my papa passed away and my papa was very much my father figure all throughout my life. And he and my grandma had been married for, you know, 60 something years.

and my nana has very bad dementia. She was put into a home shortly afterwards and I think like for me, we'd go down and see them. They live in Wollongong. We'd see them all the time. We were really in contact and really a part of their life. But as my nan's dementia has gotten worse and worse and I've had kids and COVID happened, I've found that I go down and see her less and less.

And I think for a really long time I sort of said to myself, she has dementia. she doesn't remember me coming anyway she doesn't remember when i visited and i was watching you can't ask that that show that's on tv and they did an amazing episode on dementia and there was one thing that one of the women they interviewed all these people at different stages of dementia and she said you know it doesn't matter how advanced it is you still have these moments of clarity you still have these moments where you might remember your old life or you might remember And for me it was this real moment where I was like, wow.

You know, I think sometimes with the elderly we can kind of go, oh, they don't remember or like it's easier, it's out of sight, out of mind almost. I'm too busy. And it's not that I don't see my Nana's March. Like it's not that I don't see her at all. I just don't see her anywhere near as much. And then I think like, wow, I've just wasted three years

where I needed to put in more effort and that I feel really ashamed of. Yeah, but how beautiful that you've had that realisation now before it's too late. Yeah, and it's not too late. totally and now and that was a huge turning point for me i call her all the time i take the girls down as much as i can and she she doesn't remember but the thing that i've realized is that my girls might you know marley now gets to see her great grandma she knows who her great grandma is and that's really special yeah that's beautiful yeah well thank you for sharing that that was amazing

yeah i really really loved that part from that episode i felt like i i don't know about you but I definitely had the reminder to spend more time with the people who are truly, truly important in my life. Coming up next in our Rear In Your View, it is no secret to say that this is my favorite person. This is my celebrity crush. It is also the person that I was like at the start of the year, if we could manage to get him on the podcast, life goal would be ticked off. It is Stephen Bartlett from the Diary of a CEO. He's also a prolific businessman. He's so young to have this much knowledge and also this much wealth. Like he's done really, really well for himself. And the reason that I love Stephen Bartlett so deeply is because I feel like I have learned so

much from his podcast and from what he has to say. I just find him a very insightful person. And so when we reached out to basically to Stephen's team, I would say, because there's a lot of them, I wasn't expecting a yes in reply. I was actually not really expecting reply whatsoever. So when it came back that Stephen was really keen to join us on the podcast, I was beyond surprised. And not just because he's such a huge person in the podcasting world, it's also because he doesn't really do very many podcasts. He doesn't, I mean, he obviously has his own podcast where he interviews people, but he doesn't go on very many podcasts at all. So this was like a double surprise and I was so thrilled. We ended up recording this podcast at, I think it

was like 11 p.m. at night. It might have even been later, but frankly, it would not have mattered what time of the night I would have gotten up to chat to Stephen Bartlett. And he was even better in person than what I could have imagined. In your book, you wrote, and I'm quoting this, in business, sports, and academia, an individual's personal philosophies are the single biggest predictors of how they'll behave now and in the future. If you know someone's philosophy or beliefs, you can accurately forecast how they'll behave in any situation. from this i'm really interested in what some of your philosophies are and like how in the business world you have created values that have led to consistent behavior within yourself

i've got i mean i've got so many important personal philosophies i would say that the most important one as i believe it now is to sweat the small stuff i genuinely believe like if people think the podcast that we've done is big this month i think we'll get about 35 million downloads it's not because i'm a good podcast host and i said this on linkedin the other day it's not because we have the most talented team in the world because when jack joined he was the first employee he'd never done this before he was a freelance freelancer that recorded stuff but he wasn't he never made a show before the thing is and the thing where i go that's a big philosophical advantage of everybody and this is the same in my businesses or anything that i get involved in

is we absolutely care more about the small stuff than everybody else and that's an interesting right so like that's an interesting thing because you go like the table i'm sat at now right is the table i record the podcast at underneath this table which you can't see there's a trackpad an apple trackpad glued to the underside of the table and when i'm doing the podcast if the guest has something interesting i just click it you can't even see my hands i click it with my finger button using ai to my team and that becomes one of the titles and thumbnails we take 90 of those titles and thumbs now so 90 clicks that i did under the table we run them as ads on facebook before the episode comes out for seven days

to find out which title and topic is the most important to lead. I could tell you a million things we do. They are tiny things, small, small things, the temperature of the room. Knowing that when Israel Adesanya got here, the song Double Up by Nipsey Hussle is the song that makes him emotional.

It makes him open up. I could tell you a million of these tiny things that we do. And it's all of these little things that have added up that no one sees. So people look in and when they do their sort of dissection of the diary of a CEO, and I watch these on TikTok, they're like he's a good host the trailers are great I'm like no no no no no it's all the stuff you can't see and that's and I can see it in the graph I can see the graph is changing because of

these small tweaks so my personal philosophy as it relates to success is I'm absolutely obsessed with the smallest things the thing with the small stuff is things that are easy to do like saving one pounds of brushing your teeth are also therefore easy not to do so most people don't do them they don't think they're important I think they're really important and it's not just that the other thing about doing the small stuff is it's easier to find a hundred tiny things than it is to find one big thing like i can't reinvent the wheel with podcasting i'm not going to find a new youtube or spotify am i you find that it's very easy for a team and for me to find a hundred small things and that equals a hundred percent gain it actually is more when things compound

it's much more than a hundred percent if you're thinking about compounding returns and also the science has shown and i've i've sat here with sir david brailsford who became the head of the english cycling team he went into that team when they were down and out and winning nothing and he turned it around to make them the most successful team in the world and he had the same philosophy he went and found out can i make the water bottles a little bit bigger can i make the pillows in the hotels a little bit softer and it wasn't just the accumulation of many many one percent gains he said to me the most important thing from a psychological perspective when you find small gains or any gains is it makes your team feel like you're moving, like you have a sense of

progress. And he goes, when I went into that English cycling team, we found all of these small little ways to improve. And suddenly this depressed team, quote unquote, we felt like we were going somewhere. So from a psychological perspective, you see our team here when we find a 1% gain. The phrase 1% is the most popular phrase used in our team. We have a head of experimentation, full-time job, a full-time data scientist on the podcast. Again, full-time job we got from nike and we have a channel in our called the one percent chat where we're all looking for one percent games and when we find one it's like a celebration you know and just to conclude their harvard business review went and interviewed people in work and asked them when

their most enjoyable day in work was then they looked at those days and people had pointed out days when they had a sense of progress so from a psychological perspective it makes people motivated from a business perspective it adds up to change the game and i think all those small things equal a really really big thing that's my big personal philosophy and that for anyone that's like just starting in a podcast it is the best news you i could possibly give you because you don't need to make some amazing hire we didn't you don't need to be super famous i remember my manager walking in one day and said he had anxiety because no one wanted to come on the podcast and we needed to put it out this week and i'm going have you got any friends you can call steve so i

called this guy called dad who was a mate of mine dan is episode like seven no one was interested When you have 7,000 subscribers on YouTube, like no one's interested in it wanting to come on. But the thing, and if you look at the last 90 days, we've had a million more subscribers in the last 90 days. So the laws of compounding say it goes really slow and ours did. And then it went like the Burj Khalifa. And honestly, the thing I point at, which means it's accessible to everybody, is look

at what you're doing every day and find a way to make it 1% better. Isn't that easy to do? 1%. Coming up next in our rear in your view is the thing that divided us more than anything. It is the biggest controversy that Life Uncut has ever faced. It caused more arguments than we've ever had. And I still don't think that we're in agreeance. We still have very, very different and heated opinions about the shrine. I never hang anything in my house. I got some art recently and I loved it. I moved my house around. I moved all my furniture around. And now there are these big

walls that were like really barren. So I was like, I need to hang some art on there. And so I got all romantic and I, she's laughing because she knows. Online ordered three frames of photos to be delivered to my house because I'm too lazy and don't have time to go do it, of Ben and I. When we did that really funny on the spare of the moment professional photo shoot at the Louvre in Paris if you don't know that story guys we were at the Louvre in Paris and this random photographer asked to come and shoot us we thought it was a scam we said yes for a laugh and we got these ended up getting these really beautiful photos from it so I ordered three of them and printed them out decent size and I put all three of them on this one wall in my lounge room really next to

each other I thought it looked really good and I was so proud of the fact that I did it on my own I hung it, I measured it. I was just really feeling myself. The pictures are great and I'm in love. This is going into my suck is I thought it was really nice. I've never been in love and put a picture up of me and my partner in my existence, first time. All my friends do it.

Everyone else does it. Anyway. Do they do that? Do people put up? Yes. I go into my friend's house and there's like giant nude photo shoots of them. Anyway. Really?

Yeah. So producer Keisha and my other friend Kim, yes, I'm naming and shaming you, Kim. they both they both come into my house and just start tearing strips off me for the fact that I put photos up of myself and my partner in the lounge room first of all they were like okay it either looks like someone's died someone's died and this is a shrine or it looks like a wedding shoot and apparently you're not allowed to put photos up of yourself and your partner unless you're married now I disagree people I think that is bullshit I'm calling bullshit why do I have to

be married to put photos up of me and my lover. I don't think it's that. Like, I mean, I have a couple of little photos of Matt and I, we got this like little pack and there was a few photos of us and like, they're all once you put on the wall, they're like hard picture frames that you put on like a little side table. So there's a couple of those of Matt and I. I think it's more the fact because your lounge room is the first room you walk into when you enter your house. I don't have a West wing and an East wing. I've got a tiny apartment. You walk in and there's a lounge room. So maybe it looks like a shrine because it's three big photos together. But can I just, in your defence, because you're a partner

and you're doing long distance, you don't see them every day. So it's nice to have like a daily shrine to sit and look at. Also, I sort of did it because he's coming here in two weeks to visit and I want him to be like, oh, cute, like I mean something to her, she's done something. Or you think he's going to see it and be like, babe, why have you got a shrine to us? No, because I showed him and he thought it was really cute.

And at the end of the day, fuck you, producer Keisha and Kim. I will shrine the shit out of my house. So are you trying to say, so I've got these three photos right, nothing else on the wall. You're very defensive about this. Extremely. Are you trying to say, you and the audience, are you trying to say that if I had a few different photos surrounding it,

it would be okay? Yeah, whack some photos of Delilah up there. I would personally think that I would make the wall. I have a painting of Delilah. I have some photos of Sherry. Mix it up a little. Why does that change the fact? Why?

It just makes it a little less weird. and i don't know why i don't know what is weird i don't have the psychology behind it okay it's just a general feeling that i have within my body deep internalist trauma here i'm thinking insecurity why don't you have photos of me on your wall i see you more than anyone in my entire life exactly that's why i would think i would make the wall i don't need you plastered on my wall because i see you every day if i'm not seeing you i'm speaking to you if we're not speaking we're dming simultaneously at the same time as we're texting ben i see like a couple of times a year and he is my love look i have a key to your house i think i'm just gonna print some photos of

myself and your friends and put them on the wall just to even it out come home and there's a whole wall okay well the poll said that it was okay more people had said that it's fine but i mean if you want to update the poll keisha and do sub polls until you've got the result you want which is that it's creepy you do that is that like selective bias or something like that i just keep going until i get the result i want confirmation bias at the end i actually got a few dms personally and they were all positive they're all like stuff everyone else britney you do you you put as big a picture up of you as you want i was like yes queen that's send me yours because i know you're only messaging me this because you also have

photos of you and your partner on your walls it does look a semi shriny but candles and flowers underneath you know what ben's coming guys he's coming in only two weeks now i'm very excited but i will see what he thinks when he gets here and if he thinks it's weird i'll add a couple of photos well i think the number one question to start with and it's the question on everyone's lips is the shrine the shrine you saw it finally in real life is it as bad as everyone laura producer keisha don't ponder me in there i had not seen the shrine i was only being told second hand about the shrine i also saw it for the first time when ben saw it to be fair it is a little bit weird because a shrine is meant to be for dead people and i know

it's not a shrine they've told me it's a shrine i don't think it's a shrine okay guys don't fight i don't like it it's meant to be meant to be a display of our love which is fine which is great it's cute but it's kind of like arranged like a disease or something it's like it's got candles around on the floor there's a few it's like roses white roses and all that kind of stuff what are you on about it is three photos that's it in my whole house i think we need to add some more photos to kind of take the shrininess out of the as in not photos not of you photos of other things like maybe delilah i'm happy with me being on the wall but that makes it more shriny no i think it just it's just a paris photo shoot i think we have some lovely pictures together i

think we need to add some more so it's a little bit diversity okay right now it's more like a homage to paris although then i do want to kind of very romantic for me by the way yeah you did a really great job you guys both are like models but i do think that if it was to add more photos to the wall it's more from different parts of your it's that makes it real shrining right now it's just like a nice tribute but we're heading real we're heading really deep into shrine territory this is i just want to make a tribute to my love this is a tribute shout out to ben and an update on the shrine brit still has it hanging up in her lounge room it's still there very proudly way too high it's too small it still looks really awkward but she's proud of it and i'm

kind of proud of her for sticking to her guns i'm actually somewhat impressed and i respect the fact she hasn't taken it down because of the public backlash that she faced from these photos. Coming up next in our rearing of you is the phenomenal Elizabeth Day. Now, Elizabeth Day is an author. She's also a podcaster. She has a podcast that's all about failure and what you can learn from failures in your life. And over the course of Life Uncut, Laura and Britt have had many, many, many conversations about infertility. They've had a lot of conversations about being child-free by choice and that journey to motherhood being more complex than what I think a lot of us expected it to be. But Elizabeth Day was I think the first person that we've ever spoken to who

has come to peace with the fact that they were child-free but not by choice. Elizabeth went through a really tumultuous fertility journey. She had suffered many miscarriages and this moment was where Elizabeth articulated where else she has found purpose in her life because she expected that she kind of wouldn't have that amount of purpose for anything other than being a mother. I can only imagine that that must be a very difficult process to go through the acceptance phase of that. What were those years of your life like or how did that, when did you come to the decision that you were like, it's not going to happen for me? Yeah, very recently in answer to that at the beginning of this year I'm now as you know married to a wonderful person and we found

out that I was pregnant naturally completely out of the blue just after my 41st birthday and very sadly that pregnancy ended in miscarriage and then I got pregnant again and that one ended in miscarriage and throughout it all I was also undergoing various interventions surgical interventions and like trying new treatments and we decided to have a sort of cutting-edge fertility treatment at the beginning of this year and I'd put a lot of hope into that and it was one of those situations where it felt like the universe was sending you signs saying it was all going to work it was so weird and it didn't and that was also one of the lowest points but this time I had someone by my side and it felt like we were sharing it and walking through our pain together

and that was actually part of my realization I feel so lucky to have the relationship and the love that I have with my partner and many people don't have that and many people who don't have that will experience a quality of love with their children that is incredibly special but I realize that so many people don't experience that kind of love and I already have that and that could be enough and I'm now at peace and have let go of the trying to have a baby and I never thought I would be at this point and it has taken me many months actually I had dinner with a friend last night she was like it's taken you nine months and I was like oh that's so true because this whole thing happened in January and yes I constantly felt like a failure and I actually think a lot

of the medical language seems designed to make women specifically women feel like failures and obviously I know on one level it's not my failure but it felt like my body wasn't doing what so many other women could do and what so much of historical society expected me to do and all the time that I was going through all of these various procedures I was told overwhelmingly by male consultants that I was failing to respond to the drugs I'm sure you heard that right it's unsuccessful that that just the terminology yeah exactly like my friend was told she had an incompetent cervix another person I know was told she had an inhospitable womb but this is all language that is just accepted yeah it is quite it's used quite frequently and one of the things that I have

been passionate about in terms of having these sort of conversations is attacking that language because I internalized it so much for so long that it was really difficult to separate my feeling about myself and the baby I was trying to create and so it felt really sad a lot of the time and having conversations about it and writing about it made me feel better because that loneliness that we've discussed the antidote to that was understanding that other people had these stories too and for a long time particularly women but also men felt a misplaced sense of stigma about fertility issues and didn't feel able to share and I'm so glad that those conversations are opening up because I feel less alone as a result and I feel more validated and now I really understand

being on the other side of it my life has tremendous purpose even if being a biological mother isn't going to be part of it not only are there other ways that we can parent and I don't necessarily just mean having other children in my life I mean in the way that we podcast or the way that we create like that in some sort of way is an act of mothering or parenting or sharing or connecting and I just want anyone who is listening to this who might be in the grip of a fertility journey right now and might not be able to see light on the other side I never thought I would feel as at peace as I now do and I promise you that it is possible and that you will know when the time is right for you. I truly truly loved that episode Elizabeth spoke about all things to

do with failure she also spoke about this thing called fertility privilege that caused quite an uproar around the world really there were many many many articles written about it and when I first heard the words I was a bit like fertility privilege like that's a it's an interesting termed phrase but in that episode she explained what she meant by it and I thought it was a very very insightful position to have on something and something that I feel better that I'm aware of for anyone around me who may be struggling with their fertility. Coming up next in our year in review is one of the deepest and most weird rabbit holes that Laura has ever embarked upon. I don't know where this one came from, if I'm honest, but I remember sitting in the studio

and I had actual tears of laughter rolling down my face because it was just, it was so random. I went down a rabbit hole, a rabbit hole that satisfied me in ways I never thought it would. And now I know something I never thought I would know, but I really encourage everyone to go and google it what was said rabbit hole have you ever googled what a pigeon's nest looks like a pigeon actually yeah every second saturday i google that laura why would i have googled what a pigeon's nest is no okay everybody in your cars wherever you are listening maybe you're on a bus maybe you're in a taxi who knows maybe you're walking maybe you're hot go walk just stop and just google pigeon nest because pigeons are particularly poor at building nests and the level of effort that

they put into taking care of their home and raising their little egg child is truly hilarious. I thought you were going to tell me something other than that. I thought pigeon nest was like a euphemism for something naughty or sexy, or I thought you were going to like think you were googling an innocent pigeon nest, but then pow, it's something else. But no, it's actually just a nest. It's a real nest. Can I just show you, I need to show you some examples of what a pigeon nest looks like. They'll just lay an egg anywhere. They'll go and get one single fucking stick and lay it next to their egg and they'll be like ah job done why look at this shit it's so funny if you are feeling like you're having if you've ever felt bad at your job if you've ever questioned or

had like imposter syndrome and thought maybe i'm not equipped for this google pigeon nest and it will make you look at that one the pigeon put a stick and an egg on a bed look at this pigeon it laid an egg under a car it's so funny i can't see it can you see the egg it's just under a wheel I mean, that's dangerous. My grandma, rest in peace, she's no longer with us. My grandma spent her whole life racing pigeons. She's a pigeon racer. So I grew up with pigeons in a pigeon cage.

I would be the pigeon lady. I'd walk into her pigeon cage and you'd have to close it and they were like, I'm not exaggerating, there were 50 pigeons living together in this huge, huge pigeon cage. I shouldn't say that. It was an aviary and you'd walk in and I'd be that pigeon lady. I feel like I was, you know, in Pet Detective, Jim Carrey,

in that scene where he walks into his house and he opens. They're called homing pigeons. I used to have a homing pigeon when I was a kid. This is all getting weird now. They're racing. But it was a boy. Wait. Hang on.

Can I finish my story? Sorry, sorry. She had racing pigeons and she would literally, I guess they're homing pigeons on roids though. Like you would send them out and they'd have to go and do a job and then they'd have to come back and it was a race. And it was hectic. I thought it was the coolest thing but they all laid eggs like that.

So I didn't know if that was an actual nest or if that was just at a racing pigeon aviary nest. It's because the pigeons are so fast to get the job done. They just leave in the eggs anyway. Anyway, just go and do it. It's so good. It's so enjoyable to sometimes get down like a hole in the internet and you're like, oh, here we are.

Here we are looking at pictures of pigeon eggs and it was really satisfying. I'm just wondering how many listeners we just lost that are new to Life Uncut. No, I don't reckon. I think if anything, if anything, people are going to be like, wow, I didn't know that and I'm glad I do. There you go.

That'll be the thing that you'll bring to the party on Saturday night now. I don't think. No, no. I don't think it will be, but I may or may not Google it tonight when I'm on the lounge and I'm relaxed. I might go down the rabbit hole. Yeah, we're going to put photos on our social media, so if you can't be bothered, just go and have a look there.

What actually brought you to the point where you wanted to know what a pigeon's nest looked like? Things have been tough in life lately. We've been having a hard time. But no, honestly. I don't know what happened. I read somewhere that pigeons were particularly bad at making nests. I read that and I was like, well, I wonder how bad,

and then I found myself googling it and fuck it was it was a really enjoyable little ride there okay oh the pigeons when someone think of the pigeons now I know that what I'm gonna say next is gonna ruffle some feathers but I still don't like them I'm sorry if you're a pigeon enthusiast or if you have a lot of deep love for pigeons I still consider them to be the rats of the sky they're in the way everywhere they're just they're just annoying anyway we're gonna we need to stop talking about pigeons. I wonder if the pigeons will continue into 2024. Coming up next in our year in review is the wonderful Trini Woodle. Now Trini is the powerhouse behind Trini London, the makeup and the skincare brand. That is her business. And she also might be known because

I think it was around about two decades ago, she had a television show in the UK where she was known for styling people and doing these makeovers. And now she does a lot of that work on social media. So you might see her doing outfits or doing different fashion-based things on social media. She's an author. She is also a podcaster. And she is one of the women that I think really bucks the trend of this thing that we see amongst so much of our media. And I was actually a little bit shocked by her response to this because I realized while the girls were having this conversation with her that she was actually a little bit offended. Twinnies, the mention at the beginning, the currency of the aging woman, the reason why

we were speaking about this, there's been a lot of articles that have come out in Australia over the past year. And I think that it's come more into conversation, this recognition that as women get older, they seem to be less valuable. And I say that in terms of media, in terms of career opportunities, there's an invisibility that can happen. How have you experienced this in terms of, or what do you see? because your career has only gotten more powerful, more amazing, and you have shined brighter as the

years have progressed. But I would say that that doesn't seem to be the general take for most women or how they feel about themselves as they've aged. This is challenging because I've for the last 30 years worked for myself. All right. And I think when you work in a career for somebody else, it can be more challenging. But there is also that sense of a glass ceiling, or you just imagine there is no ceiling. So through my life, I have never seen a fucking ceiling. Okay. And I think it's not so much that sense of defeatism. It's not, but there's a lot of people who are in a situation where ceilings are put on top of them and they have to really break through. And there are many champions out there on equal pay on, on women's rights in the workplace. But there's also

something about making your world less possible or making your world limitless and for me I've definitely had times when I felt it's not going to happen and sort of duvet therapy but I felt a disappointment in myself I've never felt it's an outside force I felt I haven't lived up to my potential so I put the onus on me more than on the outside world and I don't know everyone is different and everyone have a different circumstance situation but I think that this is my best decade yet I feel that emphatically I mean I feel I know myself I have self-belief I have self-worth I know who I am I know what my faults are most of the time I learn new ones every day um i think i have a growth mindset not a fixed mindset on 50 of my life i think that what i found

offensive is the word the aging woman i found that really offensive because i feel ageless you know people in every interview that i've had in sydney sitting down there is that question how does it feel that you're going to turn 60 next year every single interview like in the in the last, when I was in New York too. And I'm like, I literally feel, what do I want to do for a birthday? That's literally all I feel. I feel no sense of, I've never put an attachment to my ability with age ever. But that's the thing, right? All those questions, it all comes from the social structures around us that tells us that we're supposed to care. I mean, even at 37, There's things that tell you that you're supposed to care.

You have kids you're supposed to care. I remember when I first had my children and I had this innate fear that my career was over, that I would not be able to continue in the same way that I had. And it's because there, I mean, there are so many pioneering women who have shown that there are different paths, but at the same time, I think you still hit these milestones and you're up against what society tells you is capable. And I appreciate your perspective on whether you put the limitations on yourself or whether you can see that as limitless.

but i think that that is a really amazing mindset that not everyone has hence why the questions come yeah another thing i love and it's also ironic when it's written by female journalists is that there's a look at her how can she have a beauty brand she does botox all right which is what i'll get and i'll go yeah i fucking do do botox i've done since i was 35 i didn't realize then it was you know stopping lines it was because i did tell you and i have a very moving forehead and it stopped my forehead moving. And I was so relieved. But it then meant I didn't get lines on my forehead. But I think that there are also other women who say, you know, in a way, they're sort of saying, why do you fight age? Why didn't you age gracefully? And I fucking challenge that. And

the reason I challenge it is, I want to wake up, I want to look in the mirror. And either I'll feel that already, or I'll do something to make myself feel that where I have the energy to do anything I want to do today all right so I got up this morning we had a long day we started at 5 30 we ended at 10 o'clock at night I got to bed 11 it was a long day for a 20 year old and for a six year old all right and then I got up this morning and I thought do I go and work out at 5 36 do I really do that but I thought I want to look after my body so it looks after me I want to feel full of energy I want to come today and do the podcast and give you my best and I want to breathe every day so that whole sense of that it's a vanity matrix it isn't a vanity matrix it's that we

want to feel empowered and fantastic about who we are as people and whatever it takes whatever it takes we have to stop judging and we have to stop women judging each other of you know it can only be this path like why don't you let your hair go gray naturally because I don't like my gray hair because it will look like the end of a fox tale. I just absolutely loved getting to meet Trini Woodall. She's one of those people that she'll walk into a room and command attention, but not in an arrogant way, not in a way that makes you think she's wanting the attention.

She's just one of those people that walks into a room and you feel that there's the presence of someone there. I don't know if I'm explaining that properly, but she has that aura about her. She came into the studio with an entourage of like eight people and they were all great. it was so nice to hang out with her and her team and learn from her and Trini spoke on this episode about something that she doesn't talk about very publicly she has mentioned it before but she

doesn't talk about it much and I think she must have felt quite comfortable with Laura and Britt to discuss this Trini battled with a drug addiction when she was in her 20s and the course of her life shifted hugely because of her ability to become sober and that was a particularly interesting part of the episode if you want to go back and listen through to it. I really, really highly recommend it. Coming up next in our Rear In Your View is something that we speak about, I guess the topic we talk about a lot on Life Uncut. It's got to do with this either milestone anxiety or milestone disappointment. It's the idea that you might not be at a certain part of your life as what you expected to be, or maybe you are there and it doesn't feel how you thought it was going

to feel. We talk about it a lot at times like what we're experiencing right now, you know, that like kind of Christmas, New Year periods, they're these self-evaluation times. And I think we also do it a lot on birthdays. And I kind of wish that I had had the vocabulary to talk about it because now listening back to this, I think it was the moment that Laura and I realized what the words were for what I was experiencing. And it was a little bit of one of those like figure out moments for me. And last year, although like birthdays can be such amazing, exciting, beautiful celebrations of like making another year around the sun, you spoke about something kind of like a milestone disappointment is what you coined it. This idea that during birthdays, it's a period for

you where you are not as happy or you're not as excited. And it kind of brings up the things that you don't have in life more so the celebration of the things that you do. How do you feel about it on this big three-oh? Yeah. So this is my 30th. So this is a particular milestone. And I think since we had that conversation, I really sat and thought about it a bit. And I got a lot of messages from beautiful people that listened to the podcast being like, I feel exactly the same. This is so normal. And we spoke about how when your birthday rolls around, it's kind of like that reminder of you're another year older, similar to New Year's, you know, like what have you done in this last year what have you accomplished what have you achieved and then

the flip side of it is well what are you missing from your life that you really want and so last year I really spoke about the fact that I had had and I do think that I've had some unusually negative things happen on my birthday like I've been made redundant I've lost family members like I've had some kind of actual very life shitty things happen but it just didn't ever seem to live up to the expectation. I would see other people in my life that were like, it's birthday week. And I was so excited. And I felt almost the polar opposite. I actually had this immense sense of anxiety of like, oh God, everyone's going to be giving me all of this attention. And I just feel as though I maybe I'm not measuring it. Like I just had this weird internal guttural, like

awkwardness about it. Did you feel as though that amplified year on year, like as you get older, that that feeling became more because it's almost like and I know when we talk about the things that you don't have in life whether it's that you haven't got the career or you don't have the relationship or your life just hasn't met the milestones the arbitrary milestones that we set for ourselves did you find that with each passing year that feeling got worse or was it just kind of this overarching birthdays fucking suck feeling I think it did I think it wasn't linear like it wasn't like each year it got worse and worse and worse but I think the massive part of it was that you know I grew up in the kind of environment where if someone had said to me oh you'd be

getting to 30 you wouldn't be married you wouldn't have had a family which is what I thought I would have as you know as a teenager you're like oh that's what I expect to have in my future and I think it just became a little bit more like well the years are going by like plan a was here and my life was leaps and miles away we're playing f right now yeah but I also acknowledge that plan f has been the fucking best you know and so I guess it was just this weighing up of like what I expected my life would be like at a certain time and what it actually was like at a certain time we had an interesting conversation in the car on the ride over here and you said that this birthday has felt significantly different though that you felt like you've

gone into your 30th feeling happier but also I think you recognize like the cliche of why you feel happier this year yeah I hate to admit because I don't think it's very self-empowerment I don't think it's very feminist to be like yeah this birthday felt really different because I woke up with someone that I really care about my lovely boyfriend made me feel so special over the weekend we went for a beautiful dinner last night he spoiled me with gifts and then like he stayed over at my house last night I wonder if I would have felt the same about turning 30 had he not been a part of my life and had he not made me feel so special because I think it really goes back to the fact that like I weigh up what I do and don't have on birthdays and like I think if I

had have been turning 30 and still single I maybe would have been like the years again on you're into your fourth decade now and like you haven't found someone and so I feel as though a lot of people that would have done that would have felt really lonely and like they weren't living up to what they wanted out of their life. I know, I don't know why I'm getting emotional. I think it's because I kind of feel a bit guilty for being like, well, you know, you should love yourself enough and you should be proud enough of what you've done that you don't need a boyfriend to feel good about yourself. But the truth is, it really does make me feel better about myself. So like, maybe that's a bit of a fault, but it's the truth. It's not a fault. Like, and I know,

I mean, we talk about relationships all the time. It's this double edged sword, right? on one hand we want to talk about being single in a way of if you can reach a place where you feel empowered by being single and you feel independent and like you have control over the life you live and control over your own happiness all those things you know being single is way better than being in a relationship that it's an unhappy or unhealthy relationship but just going back to something that you said this idea that it's like almost anti-feminist it is okay to acknowledge the fact that some people feel lonely and they are looking to be in relationships and it's something that they fundamentally want in their life because you know when we talk about

relationships all the time we often preach and Britt and I have both done this like we preach that you know you have to get to a place where you're okay with being single where you know it's great to be independent it's great to know and to value all the things that you bring before being in a relationship yourself but I do think that socially we put so much importance on relationships we have placed relationships as a almost like an indicator of success there is what success have you had in your work life and there is what success have you had in your personal life and hugely that personal life is romantic relationships and I think secondary to that is our friendships and I wish that dynamic would change but I think birthdays and new years particularly are these

real milestone moments that can make people feel incredibly lonely when they don't have the thing that they want and I want to reiterate the conversation we had on last year's episode it's okay if you do feel lonely in those moments and you're not a failure for wanting to have something that you don't have and I guess it's just this nice reminder that life is not static just because you're you're not where you thought you would be this year doesn't mean that you won't be there next year and just riding that wave now the reason that this was one of my favorite parts of the year and it could be a little bit selfish to be saying that but it's actually because I learned so much from what Laura had to say in that moment I had been feeling I think it's guilt

I think I'd felt bad for the fact that I had wanted a loving relationship so deeply in my life and that I wasn't able to kind of articulate the fact that I felt a little bit ashamed for desiring that so much, you know, because I think we speak so much about being self-assured, independent women. And I felt like that went against the grain. But from what Laura said in that moment, it actually made me realize that it's absolutely okay to deeply desire love in your life and to not want to be by yourself and to have that romantic connection. It's okay to crave that. Maybe this is something that you felt in your life and perhaps you're single right now when you're really, really desiring that deep love. And I don't want you to feel bad for that. I don't

want you to feel as though you're incomplete for wanting that in your life. Coming up next in our Rearing of you is, I would go to say the wildest ask uncut we have ever received. My heart still goes out to this person. I think about you all the time. We would absolutely love an aftermath, but this is the ask uncut about the threesome that ended in a pregnancy. Okay. I'm at an absolute loss. My fiance and I have been together for six years. We have an amazing relationship. And shortly after we got engaged, we decided to make our secret fantasy a reality after deciding that i didn't want to die wondering i asked my fiance if he would be willing to have a threesome a one-off experience for us both before we get

married we're both quite open and trusting with each other and wanted to experience just this one thing one time we both agreed to doing this and i ended up asking a friend of mine if she would be willing we all agreed and after a lot of great communication we worked out what we were okay with and how it would all go down slash who would go down. I felt comfortable and secure about doing this with a friend that I had asked because we're not super close, but we have known each other for a long time. I didn't really want to do this with a friend that would be around a lot. I didn't want them to be super close to me. She was very respectful about boundaries and made sure I was happy with everything when it came to doing the deed. My fiance and I were both super stoked we

did this and we said we felt closer than ever. Now there's a lot in there. So I'm going to fast forward. Basically the next little while we didn't talk to that girl. We messaged her twice just to keep contact, but she's not a close friend. Last week she called and dropped an absolute bombshell on us. She called me when I was at work and told me that she was pregnant. I don't even have words. Pregnant. Pregante. And that my fiance is a father. I called my fiance straight away. He said, oh my god I actually think the condom did break but I was too drunk to remember or to even think about talking about it she's decided to keep the baby holy shit I know she says I feel really blindsided I have no idea what to do how do I even process this my fiance and I do want kids

together one day but the idea of him having a baby with another woman makes me feel sick he's so upset and confused about what to do or how to feel how do we explain this to friends and family. How do we know if this can even work? I feel so overwhelmed. I don't know if I can stay in this relationship and move over it, but there's nothing wrong with our relationship except this. Okay. Let's attack it from the top down. You can't do anything. If she wants to keep this baby, that is absolutely 100% her decision and unfortunately it means that if you want to stay in a relationship with your husband your fiance that this baby and its mom your friend is going to be in your life forever forever and that's going to be something that you're going

to have to make like you're going to have to go to some therapy and you're going to have to come to terms with if it's something that you are able to do. Now, I think realistically, I'm trying to put myself in your position, which is just, I can't even, I cannot even imagine what it is that you're going through. But I guess what I would try and compartmentalize is that this was a decision that you guys both made together mutually as a couple that you wanted to do and you didn't have any regrets after doing it. Obviously you don't want to have a baby. That's not something that was on the cards or it wasn't a plan, but I don't think it has to come at the sacrifice of your relationship because he didn't go out and cheat on you. You mutually had this experience together.

And now the by-product of that is that he's going to be the father or the DNA contributor to a baby. I think together, the two of you have to make the decisions around one, obviously, if you're going to stay together, but two, what sort of father, what sort of contribution does he want to make into that child's life? And that can be being a proactive dad. That can be not anything if he doesn't want to be. I'm not saying that that is the great option or that is the most moral option, but that is also an option. He can financially contribute to the child's life, but he doesn't have to be a proactive part of the child's life. And how do you explain it to friends and family? You tell them, I think you have to tell the truth. I think you'd be honest.

I think you genuinely be honest and I think the reason why you genuinely be honest, especially with people in your closest knit circle, is because the assumption is going to be that he cheated on you. And if you love your partner and you want to protect your partner, I think you carry a bit of that weight together because he didn't betray you. I can't fucking help.

Wow. I mean, but I don't want to skim over this. I don't know if I would be able to survive this in my relationship. No, and this is the thing that I think I want to, the angle I want to go down. um and we need to cover it all but I have thought about this for the last couple of days I spoke to Ben about it I've been really trying to get my head around what I would do in this situation and I guess it's one of those things you don't know unless you're in it I mean she ends it with

I don't know if I can accept this situation unfortunately if you can't accept it whilst that's not fair you don't have another option you can't stay in a relationship if you're not going to accept it because it is forever I'm also making an assumption here that your partner is and you if you stay in the relationship because you will become a step-mom but your partner I assume is going to do the right thing because you know it was a situation you all willingly went into and it is a friend. I can't imagine a man in that situation being like no you're on your own making that assumption that he's going to be involved in some capacity financially and physically. Do you think though that that is the wrong thing? I always find this an interesting

debate because I don't think this might cop me into a bit of hot water. It may. I do think that you financially need to contribute. So if you have unprotected sex with someone, firstly, I mean, it's terrible that the condom broke and he did not have a conversation with her. He didn't think about it. He was too drunk. Like that's a whole, that is a really massive issue that we can't just skim over. Like morally, this is a situation he created by his irresponsibility and he had sex in a way that she therefore did not consent to. And now she's pregnant and this poor woman is having a baby that she didn't necessarily want to have, but is keeping it. And that's, you know, like that's her decision to do so. But I guess when it comes to the expectation that he has or that

people have on him to be a proactive part in this child's life, I think financially and legally he has to be. But I don't think that a man has to be a father figure in a child's life that he didn't also agree to wanting to have. Does that make sense? Yeah. I mean, I disagree. I think it's unfair, but I don't think that there's an expectation to, to play that part. I think it's a responsibility that you need to take in some capacity. Of course you don't have to. If I was that child and I grew up knowing that my dad was my mom's friend, literally down the road and he didn't fucking care about me. He threw me some money sometimes it's going to have an impact. So I think it comes down to, it's a moral obligation. Obligation is probably the

wrong word it's a moral responsibility you are not obligated if you don't want to no human in the world obviously is but i think it shows a lot if he isn't involved in his child's life i don't think that in this situation money's enough personally especially when it was his fault yeah and we don't say fault well it was he his condom broke and he was too drunk to actually acknowledge it or talk about it that's his fault coming back to you because this is about you i feel so sorry for you but if you think that you there is a way you can get through this which i think you should probably try if he's the love of your life and you are going to have kids one day together if you really think you can move through it then you need to all talk together you need to

sit down with this friend go through what it's going to look like what are the expectations are there boundaries then you need to have a conversation with your partner what do you want in this in terms of being a father what do you want from me do you still want to have your own kids with me in that situation there are so many aspects of this that you need to nut out but holy fuck yeah i i mean look i think i agree with you on some parts and i disagree with you on others i definitely think the three of you need to sit down and have a very open conversation around expectations around how you feel this is going to play out i think you and your partner need time to grieve you need time to grieve this idea of the family unit that you were going to have

that's not to say that your family unit still won't exist and it doesn't mean yes he will either you know your friend has this baby and he wants to be a part of it there will be co-parenting that doesn't mean that that relationship becomes his nucleus family or relationship. He will still go on to have a family with you. It just means that he will co-parent and your kids will have a half brother or sister, which is going to be a weird thing to overcome. But you know what? In time, even weird situations become less weird. Like they become normal. You guys will grow past it. Time really does. And it's the dumbest and lamest saying, but it is true. Time heals all. and in time, you can get over so many things that you think you're not able to get over.

But I think in this instance, I would be really having conversations around expectations because you never know, your friend may not have the expectation that she wants him to be a proactive part of this child's life. She may want him to be a proactive part. She may want him to be, you know, a dad who contributes financially. Like I think having those conversations, he might want to be proactive. Like you just don't know what everybody is feeling, what everybody's thinking and what the expectation is to show up to being a parent in this situation and I think the choice to have the baby is entirely her choice but how that baby is parented is not entirely her choice and so that's something that the three of you can come to a decision on

together but I do think it is something you could work through but you're going to have to be super open-minded and you're going to have to really communicate with the people around you who you love and respect and who are important to you because ultimately you have to protect your partner as well as yourself and your relationship and it's going to be the weird big elephant in the room but also like fuck it you had a threesome it's not like you didn't no one cheated no one did anything wrong you had a consensual threesome and I can only imagine how challenging this period of life is but I genuinely think you can get through this if this is the person that you've been with for six years, you know, I just think you can, yeah, you can work through it. Yeah. I think

that's the most important thing as well that I agree with is when it comes out, you do need to tell the truth because otherwise it paints all two people in a really bad light. Him as the cheater and her as a friend that also, you know, quote unquote fucked your partner. Yeah. But also when I say you have to tell the truth, you don't owe anyone anything. You don't have to over explain it. You don't have to just, you had a threesome, like you didn't break any laws. You did whatever the fuck you wanted to. You're three consenting adults. Yes. Your parents might find it a bit challenging to understand but you know what like at the end of the day people around you will come around to these sorts of things and I think oh yeah I don't think it's bad at all no but some

people will and there will be like some guilt and shame attached to it which there shouldn't be yeah totally I'm just saying I think that part isn't no-brainer for me is the truth telling because otherwise two people are painted as totally as really bad people that weren't so unfortunately it's a pill that you might have to swallow for a hot second but in this day and age I mean, everyone's talking about this kind of stuff now. It will hit different now to what it would have 20 years ago. It is an unbelievable situation. I think this is possibly the most challenging Ask Uncut we've ever had.

But I really do want to reiterate that the big thing here, and I think the main part of the responsibility falls on the fact that your partner, his condom broke and he did not communicate that. It is such a, like, I don't even have words for how much of a betrayal that is. And the fact that he didn't, he was too drunk. It didn't occur to him that he should have had that communication means that all of those discussions that you guys had pre having that threesome, all of the conversations around your boundaries, around the way in which you were going to engage, the respect for each

other, all of that went out the window. And that really changes the basis of which the boundaries were set in terms of what was going to be okay and not okay in this threesome. I would love you to write in what happens and that might not be something you want to do, but this as an aftermath. I would love to know if you can get to a point where you're okay with it and you stay in the relationship and you guys move forward or if you think you can't yeah oh my god the aftermath of this yeah and I think like the very last thing is go and have some therapy together like you and

your couple the three of you to talk through the complexities of this situation I think like don't underestimate the importance of that process and lastly take it day by day because this is such a big and overwhelming decision that you need to make. And it feels so huge. But like I said, time kind of heals things. And as you take one step and then one day and you start working through what this looks like over the next nine months or however long she has that she's pregnant, it may seem like it is not so insurmountable when you start to break it down into smaller days. That's not to say that it's not going to be hard, but like it may feel more manageable. Yeah, far out. I still to this day, I listen back through that and I'm like,

I do not know what I would do. I have so much sympathy for the person experiencing that. But coming up next in our year in review, it is the last segment for us to get through. And the reason we included this in this year's highlights is because we would get, I mean, probably about a hundred Ask Uncut questions to the podcast every week. And this particular question seems to come in in different variations but like a very similar kind of feeling behind the question. It's about being single and feeling as though everyone around you is getting into a relationship, everyone around you is progressing into those different chapters of life and you feel as though you're a little bit left behind. What I loved about this was what Britt had to say

about finding love a little bit later than what maybe you expected to and how different that love can look. I'm starting to feel really down about my lack of love life. I feel like all my friends are getting engaged or married and I'm the only one that's left single. I'm nearly 30 and I've come out of a toxic relationship three years ago where my partner was having an affair. He moved on straight away. I've been on dating apps and I'm not sure if it's my city or what's going on, but I'm telling you it's the bottom of the barrel and I don't want to waste my time with any of these people so far. I want to find someone with similar values or a similar lifestyle that aligns with mine. I'm very independent and I am fine alone, but I have reached a stage where I

want someone to share my life with. I honestly feel like I'm going to have to wait for people to start getting divorced at this rate, or I'm going to have to literally move cities just to find someone. I'm starting to avoid going out or catching up with friends as it always feels like I'm the only one that's alone and not with a partner. When I do go, I end up feeling really sad and alone. I've been throwing myself into work too much so I don't have time to feel sad because it's really starting to affect my confidence and he's making me feel like there's something inherently wrong with me. I want kids someday and I don't want to wait too late. I know there are options to do it solo, but I was raised by a solo parent and I don't want that to be my

life. I feel like this is so like you've gone into a spiral. Like there's so many parts of this that you're not just focusing on the, you know, wanting to date and like meeting someone new and you know that sort of initial stages you're so far down the track of where your future is going to be that there's too many things loaded into what dating means for you and so like you're probably never going to be able to and I hate when people like just enjoy the dating phase which is so easy to say when you're in a relationship and you have kids and you're in the place where the person who is wanting that is trying to get to you know it's so easy to give advice from on top of the hill. But at the same time, I do also think that if you're so focused on everything that's in

the future, then it makes what you have to do in the day to day seems so heavy and so shit and so unenjoyable. And the reality is, is that dating is a numbers game. Dating is something that, you know, the more dates you go on, the more people that you meet, the more that you trudge through the shit of life and wade through the people who are unsuitable, the more likely it is that you're able to find someone who is someone who will be a great match for you. But it does come down to, and I think it's great that you say, you know, you don't want to waste your time on these people. That's a great thing. You still have to go on the date. You still have to try and meet people because if you think that everybody is the same and you're not going to put yourself out there

now because you can't be bothered or because you think it's a waste of time, you're not going to meet anyone by doing that approach or by having that approach. I feel like I literally could have written this question. Every single thing you wrote down besides the solo parent, like being in a single parent family, I feel like I have said, or I've written, or I have felt at some point in my life, the only person that's single, the fact that you feel like 30 is old, the fact that you want kids, but you don't know if it's going to happen. You're sick of dating. You're fine alone, but you want to share your life with someone. You're not alone in that feeling. In fact, I'm going to say most people feel that at some point in their life. And just remember,

a lot of people can still feel alone in a relationship as well. This is what I said to producer Keisha actually not long ago. So producer Keisha went through this. Keisha had just turned 30. So exactly the same age. And we know that she's with Toblerone now and she's in this great relationship, but that hasn't been that long, I guess, seven months, I think. But we had this conversation just before she met Toblerone and she said exactly the same thing. She said, I just feel like I'm so sick of dating and I feel like at age 30, I should have had my life together and I want to be in that relationship and I don't want to meet these people anymore and I've had enough and everyone's shit like and she got into this really low point and I said to her I said just

think of my life as you know it I went on The Bachelor at age 30 to give Keisha and to give you guys context like think of how long ago that was and I was your this girl's age right now she's like I'm nearly 30 I feel like life's over my life changed dramatically at age 30 and it took a completely different turn. I feel like I've met the love of my life now. And I met him when I was in this exact position. I did not want to date anymore. I was so sick of meeting people and telling my story. I was so sick of going out and I met him at 35 years old. So think of how much time you've got. People put a lot of weight on a number on the age of 30. Like society expects us to have done all these things by 30, by 40. So almost like we've rounded up to these decades.

you don't have to have done anything and I know you want to feel like you're sharing with life with someone but I think it's more important to share it with the right person and to wait but exactly what you said Laura it's not unfortunately gonna walk in your door and fall on your lap like it's not just going to I mean maybe it does you might be one in a million maybe somehow like some sort of sitcom rom-com it happens but chances are you're gonna have to keep putting in the effort you definitely don't need to waste your time with somebody but you need to waste enough time to know whether you're going to waste your time or not in the future. Yeah. And also, I mean, this whole idea of you wrote here, I honestly feel like I'm going to

have to wait for people to start getting divorced. Fair. There is definitely a second wave that comes, but that's not coming yet. Just, you know, in terms of age and where you're at, you don't have to wait for people to start getting divorced if you're only 29. And I know that that, like we said, it doesn't have to be an age thing. And I don't want anyone to think that we're like, oh, you're so young because that's an infuriating thing to be told when you want to be in a relationship and you want to settle down and all those things. But at the same time, waiting and having in your head that potentially the next wave of men is where you're going to find the person for you is definitely not good. But the other part was you said, I'm starting to avoid going out or catching

up with friends as it always feels like I'm the only one alone and not with a partner. That's so shit. And I hate that you're doing that to yourself. I hate that you are avoiding your friendship circles because seeing other people in relationships is a reminder to you that you're not in one and therefore you are isolating yourself even more. I really think like, don't do that. And the reason why I say this is because all that's going to do is compound and impact you. And you think that you're avoiding the fact that you don't have to see your friends in a relationship. You know, it's not bringing this up for you, but all you're doing is closing your circle off. You're making your friendship group smaller. You're making your connection

smaller, which also in turn makes it harder for you to meet people because often it's through our friends and through our friends connections where we can actually meet someone, you know, you might go to a party or you might go to an event or you might go out for lunch or something and your friend's friend might bring someone and that could be how you meet. But also in saying that it is also okay to organize things with your girlfriends and not have their partners there. If there's moments where you feel like you need to just have your friends around you and not have it kind of in your face that everyone's in a relationship except for you, then organize things that are just with your closest friends that aren't with their partners as well. And I think

that that's totally acceptable, but don't remove yourself from your friendship groups because you think that it's this reminder that you're alone. And I really think with this question, there were so many parts, like I said at the beginning, there were so many bits that have made you feel hurt. And I think you have to break it down. You have to break it down to the dating. Then you have to break it down to like, you know, hanging out with your friends. And then you have to try and not think about this idea of like, well, maybe I'll be a solo parent in the future because like that's not going to happen. Like that's not something that you have to be thinking about now. And all that's doing is compounding and creating more anxiety and more fear around where it is right

now for you. And that is that you're in the dating game and sometimes it can be fucking rough. Yeah. The few other things that I want to break down in this question as well, because there are so many parts to it. One is something that I have noticed is it does move faster the older you get. It's like when you meet the right person, the same time frames don't apply. And that's with all of my friends, everyone in my life, it's been exactly the same, right? All of my friends, I've got family members that have met people later in life. It happens quickly because you're more sure of who you are, where you are in life and what you want. And generally speaking, the person you've met is probably the same age and the same part of life. And they're

the same. They know what they want as well. So things definitely happen quicker. So I don't want you to think that like, oh, what if I don't meet someone till 34? Then we have to do three or four years of dating. Then we have to, you don't know, it could happen in a year. You could be so obsessed with your partner and fall pregnant and get married and get engaged with the love of your life. You don't know. The other part is you said, maybe I need to move cities. And this one, I think a lot of people automatically put their guard up and say, oh my God, it's so drastic. Like you don't have to do that. But what I want to say is that is actually a thing. And that is actually an option depending on where you live. Now you're not going to consider this, or maybe you will,

But if you have no family and no friends anywhere else in the world, like if your world is located to the city you're in, you're probably not going to want to move anywhere because you're going to feel just as alone. Maybe you're that person that does thrive in an environment where they meet new people and they have no connections. But moving cities to find people is a real thing. It's a thing people have to do, especially if you're from a really small place. If you spent all your life there, if it's where you grew up, chances are you do know

everyone and you don't want to have a relationship with any of those people. There are definitely certain cities that people go to to settle down. Like people move to these cities when it's time to have kids and have their married life. That is all accurate. I don't know where you are from, but if you know that chances are really, really slim that new people are constantly coming into your town and you're not going to meet anyone, it could be something that you actually consider. I'm very pro that. I don't know how you feel about that, Laura, but you've got to make sure you're going to be moving somewhere that you are comfortable with and you're not giving up your entire life just for the reason of finding a partner it still has to have more around it like

opportunities for jobs excitement maybe you do have family and friends there something new but I'm not against that I'm not against it but I mean it's hard to kind of make that judgment call without knowing where you're from because like I would say that people feel the same as you feel regardless of where they are. There are people who are in Sydney who feel like this. There are people who are in Melbourne that feel like this. There's people who are in far North Queensland who feel like this. Like I do think that it doesn't necessarily just change dependent on the area that you're in. And you might have just as little luck dating being in a major city or wherever, wherever it is that you end up. So I think it's hard to kind of make that assessment

without actually knowing where you're based and how regional and tiny the population of this town is, which if you are in a totally rural area and you live out on a farm and you barely ever meet anyone, then yeah, absolutely. That is relevant. But I think it's the exasperation with dating that so many of us can feel regardless of where you're at and feeling like that there are no good people and that no one aligns with you. And it's easy to feel like that after you've been on 10 dud dates or 20 dud dates or whatever the number is. Sometimes it's less than that. Sometimes it's five dud dates in a row where like, you know, you're like, fuck, who are these people and where are they coming from? But I really do think it's a numbers game and it's a numbers game,

but it's also a numbers game in a way where you're not getting attached to a person before you go on a date with them. So when they do turn out to be someone who's not someone who's aligned with you, it doesn't feel as much as a big deal because you haven't worked it up into your mind as to who this person could or should be. You're just like, okay, I know that they're not right for me. And then you start the dating process again. I really want to acknowledge the fact, and I know we kind of already said it, but it's so easy to say this. And I think give yourself a little bit of grace and a little bit of kindness because everybody who is dating, who wants to be in a relationship, who has been single for a longer period of time feels like this. You are not alone in feeling

like this, but the fact that your friends are in relationships probably amplifies those feelings of loneliness. It's a shit place to be. And when you want something that you don't have yet, but it is truly a matter of time. Well, my friends, that is it for the 2023 Rear In Your View. I hope you had such a good time going through those segments with me. I absolutely love putting this episode together because I get to go back and kind of relive the best bits. As I said at the start, the links for every single one of these episodes will be in the show notes if you want to go back and listen through to the whole thing. Oh, I've just realized actually, this is not our last episode of the year. We have got a bonus accidentally unfiltered of

your holiday. So like Christmas, New Year's themed, accidentally unfiltered, embarrassing stories. It's an absolute laugh and a half. It'll be coming out. I wish I could give you the exact day, but we are no less chaotic than what we were in 2022. So it will be in the next couple of days for you. And then over the course of the summer, we are going to be dropping some of the wonderful conversations that we had with our incredible guests at the live shows that we did in October. So that will be brand new content, never heard it before, and it will be dropping into your podcast libraries and we will be back. I think it's the week of January 22. I'm not a hundred percent sure, but we will be posting it all over our socials. So you can follow us along on

Instagram at Life Uncut Podcast. Same thing for TikTok. We also have the Life Uncut discussion group, which is where all the chit chat goes down. So if you have a dilemma that you want people's opinions on, if you want some recommendations, if you just want to have a of event or ask a question about dating or your relationship or whatever it might be if you want a group of friends join the facebook group and i think that's it i think that's the admin because delilah is just walked into the room she's wanting some pats so i'll go and uh spend the rest of my christmas new year break hanging out with her going for some swims i hope you're able to have a really really wonderful new year's and we'll catch you back in 2024 you know the drill tell

your mum tell your dad tell your dog tell your friends and share the love because we love love