Life Uncut - Repenting Sins, Leg Locking and Baby Traps

Episode Date: October 2, 2023

Hey Lifers!We've switched things up a little; variety is the spice of life isn't it??So we're trialling a bit of a different schedule this month to see if you like it.  Tuesdays are now going to be our personal catch up and a bit of a yarn about what's going on in the world or anything that feels interesting to us! Wednesdays are going to be our interview or the episodes where we do a big deep dive on a particular topic with a guest Thursdays are going to be normal ask uncut! Today we want to know if you actually trust people to keep your secrets? What about if it was a secret you told a priest??We also unpack how we feel about 'baby trapping' and a situation that played out on Selling the OC. You can cast your vote for the Australian podcast awards here! GET TICKETS TO OUR LIVE SHOW HERE  If you have an question please send it on it to life uncut podcast on Instagram hereJoin us on tiktok Or join the facebook group here Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xx          See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands were never ceded. We pay our respects to their elders past and present. This episode is recorded on Gadigal land of the Aurora Nation. Hey guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm your host Brittany. I'm your other host, Laura. We have lost the plot today. Do you know why? Because things are not as they should be.

Things are not as they seem. It's a public holiday in New South Wales. We should have the day off. No, we usually record out of the studio. Things feel a little bit more, I guess, professional now. When we record out of the studio, I feel like I am someone who has my shit together. I don't even have one of my earphones in. I was wondering why it felt very one-sided.

No, we usually record in the studio, as you guys know. it is a public holiday here in new south wales so we're recording from my house which how do you think it smells laura uh can i just do one thing i forgot to start my video that's how unprofessional i am right now that's my sink clap i think it smells i walked in here into your house brit and i was like wow it smells good don't get me wrong it smells like i went to ham on the incense sticks it smells like a balinese spa that's trying to hide something yeah kind of like barley in general like smells like it smells nice but also you know there's an undercurrent yeah my house isn't that big and i think i went too strong i did three simultaneous incense sticks

because i wanted to make it nice for you guys too hard too fast but all the three sticks are in the one room because they're because the room's not that big so i've had to do some aeration anyway we're recording from home today the nrl grand final was on last night for the both the women and the men if anybody cares and i say that because i don't i know i was literally just about to say which is a shame because I know I know how important it is Matt was out all night last night like producer Keisha was out all day yesterday like everyone I know it's a public holiday because of the grand final I'm pretty sure that that's why this exists is that why that's yeah is it a public holiday for the grand final well I mean sure I don't think that's a

thing I think it's a public holiday and they put the grand final on because of that so in Victoria they had their public holiday on the Friday so it coincides with their grand final and we have ours on the monday which coincides with ours now is it that the only reason probably not but is it a good reason yes however unfortunately for anybody listening to this who absolutely loves football britain i don't know much about it but look i'm married to someone who was a fanatic so he was gone and he went and watched it and then he came home very late last night and fell asleep on the couch i am gonna put it out there i've never watched a match like a game get matched a game what is it producer Keisha is sitting in the corner and she is just hating her I didn't grow

up in that football family I remember being at school in from primary school I remember all of my friends specifically if they're listening Sheree and Hannah all of my friends were big football families so all the families would go on the weekend to the football that I'll watch it they all had their team my family not one person we're a family of six ever actually one of my brothers will probably hate that but we never watched a match growing up I don't know the rules i don't love it i don't get it i don't get the hype but that's because i didn't grow up with it yeah i know if i went to it live it would be amazing because there's there's no live sport that isn't amazing it's the atmosphere it's the energy everyone has so i know i'd love it

but i got asked to go and watch it by so many people at the pubs and stuff last night and i was like i think i would rather sit in my house alone no i really would it's just not for me it's not for me well look and i'm sorry i know so many people probably hate me listening to that but people like you didn't need to establish how much you hated it i'm not a big football person but i did watch it broncos lost did you watch it that was devastated yeah and i was when i was trying to contact you it was just on in the background with my children whilst one of them had growing pains and the other one spiked fever so yeah look that was my night last night but anyway i have a question for you brett okay moving on from the football that neither of us really watched or

paid attention to yeah i went surfing on the weekend everyone i went down to woolongong i went down to the farm it was one of my best friend's birthdays and she decided for her birthday instead of like going and having margaritas with the girls which is normal most people want to go and have cocktails with their friends she said how about we all drive two hours and go to the farm and go for a surf lesson and at the time I was like I will literally do anything for you Kaya but this is a weird request but we all did it now if you've ever been to the farm which is like about 15 minutes south of Wollongong I'm going to guess that most people listening to this haven't but if you have you'll know it's a beach that's kind of quite remote the beach is

really long the toilet's like up the very top huge stairs like if you need to go to the toilet that's a hike to go to the toilet ain't no single person going to the toilet they're going and doing a bush wee at the beach right yeah so if you're surfing and you've had to overcome all these obstacles to get to the toilet you've put on a higher wetsuit where does one do a wee where do you do a wee if you're wearing somebody else's wetsuit? I'm confused by your question because if you're in a higher wetsuit, you need to do a wee. You don't get out to go to the toilet. You just wee in the ocean. But if you've worn your wetsuit to the toilet and then piss in the toilet, you're cooked, Laura. Like I thought when you originally posed this question, it was just in the water in

the wetsuit. Yeah, of course. That's what I'm saying. What I'm saying is, is anybody, is anybody who's in the ocean wearing a wetsuit getting out to go to the toilet or is every single person just pissing in the ocean and if that's the case then does that mean that we're all sharing higher wetsuits that literally every single person is weeding all right I'm gonna tell you guys something Brittany did a shit in a wetsuit one no I have not I don't know surely I've told this on the podcast at some point in our life but I don't actually remember laugh all you want I was the Australian champion for women's bodyboarding which is the lay down surfing I was the best in the country i was 20th in the entire world it was what i always did i was like went and did big

wave surfing nearly drowned in mexico at the australian title we had to get out because it was a great white shark in tasmania in our heat it was i've had some wild experiences i also love when you tell these stories because like it's such a closet flex of yours like no one knows this right that this is like a thing which is a random thing i used to do and then all of a sudden brit's like i used to buddy board i was kind of a big deal i was a pretty big deal yeah pretty funny but that was it i was the best in the country so like i just never talked about it it was like a whole another life ago anyway my point of that story is I grew up in wetsuits like I've always surfed all day every day you always wear a wetsuit you always I am telling you if anyone says they get

out of the water to go and do a wee they are lying everyone wees in the ocean in their wetsuit so if you have ever gone anywhere and you're doing like a snorkel tour or something you're putting on a rented wetsuit someone else is waiting a hundred percent well that's what I thought I was there with like six girlfriends six girlfriends two instructors not one person got out of the water for a two-hour lesson to go to the toilet. And I was like, yeah, I'll piss in. We all doing it. No one's talking about it.

But you know, wee is sterile. So it's not that bad. Oh my God. Like people, I think people get really, have this really big aversion to wee, but wee is not bad at all. Do I want to bathe around in somebody else's used wetsuit in it?

No, but anyway. You know, people do poops in the ocean too. No, stop. We can stop now. It's called an aqua turd. I know, but no one's doing it inside their wetsuit. No, but they won't get out of the water. Surfers that have, if the surf is good

and you have been out in the water for ages a surfer will paddle off a little bit they would rather take their wetsuit off and do what they call an aqua turd and then put their wetsuit back on then get out and miss the surf and people might deny that but i am telling you 100 that's what people enjoy well look everyone we are doing things a little bit differently this month and we are very excited about this now as you know if you've been listening to the podcast for quite a long time our tuesday episodes are our long episodes so we do like our chitty little chitty chat about pissing in about whatever wing and wetsuits at the start and then we usually do an interview or we get into like a deeper more complex topic and more nuanced chat sometimes

in the intros of these episodes we will hit you know an important topic as well it's not like they're always just light-hearted chatter but what we've decided to do is because those Tuesday episodes actually usually run for like an hour and a half to an hour and 40 minutes an hour and 20 they kind of vary we are going to this month trial something new and what that is is we're going to bring you our Tuesday episode which will be the shorter catch-up episode between Britt and I talking about what's happening in the world something that comes from pop culture our own lives basically the intro that's already existing on our Tuesday episodes that's going to be a standalone episode and that is what this is and then on Wednesday we're going to drop the

interviews and the reason why we decided to split these out is based off your feedback and what you guys are loving and what you guys are wanting to listen to and it means that you're going to be able to, one, you can listen to everything or two, if there's an episode and an interview that you really, really, really want to hear, you can kind of go straight to that instead of having to jump ahead to listen to the interview. Sometimes you want to go through and you pick somebody that is of interest to you in an interview. You do want to go straight there. And other times you want to listen to all the banter and the fun stuff. You guys are getting the same amount of content and the same amount of quality, but we're just making it easier to get to all the parts. So

from here on in, we're trialing this month and we figured this was the month to do it because we're on live tour we're shaking it up so tuesdays is going to be the fun catch-up banter wednesdays is going to be the interviews and then thursdays is going to be ask uncut exactly the same nothing's changed with ask uncut and i i'm feeling good about it yeah i'm feeling good about too i also i think it's going to be a really exciting month in terms of content because we are doing the live shows if you this is your reminder if you haven't got your tickets go and pick them up from lifeuncutpodcast.com.au we start this this weekend sunday is our very first show oh my god I know that's my nervous okay so Sunday our first show we're kicking it off in Adelaide

but also what we're going to be doing this month is we're going to have some bonus episodes so we're going to drop a couple of episodes which will be some of the interviews from the live shows as well now we're not dropping all of the interviews but we're picking out some of our favorite bits and they're going to be tiny little bonus episodes as well so it is a good month for life on card all right i have a question oh yeah i saw this on reddit there is a woman that was married to her husband and she said that the relationship was struggling a little bit they weren't sure what was going to happen with it so she cheated on him then covid struck and they rekindled the relationship because they got stuck in a house together and they refell back in love

then she started to feel guilty that she had cheated on him this one time she didn't know what to do about it so she went to a church went to a priest and confessed to get it off her chest and she also wanted to just have a really open non-judgmental discussion with someone that's not biased she didn't feel like she could go to a friend so she went to the one place she thought she could trust so she went to the priest she confessed and he said you have to tell him like you have to repent get it off your chest heal things together and work it out even if it doesn't healed he's like you have to have this discussion and that's my advice say 10 hail marys and our fathers and off you go yeah so she left and she thought she's just gonna sit on it for a while

because she didn't know if when how to broach it she decided because things were so good and it was one mistake that she wasn't going to tell him but then the priest followed up with the husband so the priest said how did things go after you know sarah told you and he was like no yeah and he was like the husband was like what because he didn't know so the priest outed the wife the wife came home one day and he was throwing all her stuff out and he kicked her out so the relationship's over because the priest spilled the goss what do you think about who's in the wrong here who is in the wrong the priest I mean of course she's in the wrong of course she did the wrong thing but correct me if I'm wrong most people would go and speak to a priest because they think it is completely

confidential they are bound to keep it confidential and so I think that it is that anonymity that would have made her feel safe to talk about it and would have made her feel like she could make her own decision I don't know if you're not religious if you're not catholic or christian you might not know this you go to reconciliation you go into a tiny little box you usually can't see the priest there's usually like a petition that separates you you sit there by yourself and you confess your sins and then he usually tells you six hail marys and an x amount of prayers you have to repent on your sins and then that's going to absolve you of your sins I mean I went to reconciliation when I was a kid so my memory of it is that so I've never done it

like I have I don't even know I've never even sat in that priest box well so I've only ever been with like such trivial problems she grew up in the church she's laughing at my terminology that I called it a priest it's the priest book I've never been with a complex problem you know I was like seven I've never been with a complex problem that the priest has said you need to go and explain yourself to these people there's never been like outside ramifications other than like prayer repentance so for one the priest probably didn't overstep the line if he didn't give all the information he just gave enough information for the husband to fill in the blanks but it's like he wanted it's like the priest low-key wanted him to know he was like how do you drama how do

you feel after finding out about you know nobody's going to trust him to come to him with their problems if he's taking upon himself to be the cheating vigilante so you think that the number one thing here is because it wouldn't be the same right if a friend of the family had found out and went and told him right it wouldn't be the same kickoff but is it just because the priest is supposed to be sworn to a level of secrecy because if this was like a friend of yours that you told or a friend of a friend or some somebody else had gone and said you know what i'm going to tell you your wife's been cheating it's not going to have the same repercussions is it is this only coming because of the fact that a priest swears to secrecy.

So you feel, because either way trust is broken, right? Well, I think the thing is though, when you, so if you've cheated on someone and you speak to your friend about it, they are not sworn to secrecy. You're giving them information and you might ask them not to tell anyone. And I think a lot of us have been in a situation,

not around cheating, but in other areas. If you tell someone a secret and you say, oh, don't tell anyone. And they say, don't worry, I'll never ever tell anyone. They can really do whatever the fuck they want to with that information. There's a lot of trust that goes on there, right? like some people might tell one person some people might take it to the grave but i honestly think

the majority of secrets that are told you might as well assume that they've told one person because that's kind of how these things no one in the world keeps a secret not in the way that you would hope them to and i think maybe reflect on your own behavior when someone tells you a secret do you keep it 100 to yourself or do you tell your boyfriend or your girlfriend or your best friend like are there other people in your immediate network who you go oh i am keeping the secret but I told that one person because there's always that like okay you've got I've got to tell you something but you promise you can't tell anyone and there's always that yeah and I guess it depends you know I know that there will be people who are like no there's things that I've

been told that I've kept from my husband or from my wife or whatever or my my long-term partner but I think overarchingly and the majority and maybe it's a this is actually a good thing to poll I think majority of people would share other people's secrets and often the reason for that is because they are told something and then they're asked to keep it a secret. Yeah, then the weight's on them. Yeah, most people, it's like they tell a story or they tell something that's happened and then they go, oh, please don't tell anyone. And it's like, of course, I will keep your story and your secret

because it is yours and it's not mine. But at the same time, you have now put that burden on me. You've put the burden of secrecy on me without me subscribing to it. The difference here is that a priest, the burden of secrecy has been assigned to him. He has taken that commitment by becoming a priest. so him sitting in that box and you going to him for a confession there is a contract that's already been drawn up which is that this is a place where I can tell you my deepest darkest sins and you are not going to share them with anyone there is a level of protection and lack

of judgment that's supposed to happen I say trust no one I got pretty deep in this because I was so fascinated because I didn't grow up in the church so this is all new to me and I did a bit of research I don't know what happened to this priest but generally speaking you can be excommunicated as the priest so you get kicked out of the church you cannot tell a secret but more so than that which this absolutely gobsmacked me a priest because they've made this contract with God and with the church from what I read can't even if they get information on a crime whether it's a crime that's been committed or a crime that's going to be committed whether that could stop somebody being hurt severely the priest cannot tell they also cannot give evidence in court

so if they found out something on you something they're not allowed to do it now I people might disagree but I think that is crazy but there is an exception to that like you don't have to report murder but a priest does have to report anything to do with children like child abuse and things like that which like which I was about to say thank god but I can't say that in this sense I was really fascinated by the workings of the contract between a priest and the church and the god I was fascinated by it which also makes you question like is this the most scandalous thing this priest has ever heard that someone within his network has cheated on their husband like surely surely surely not like he's not getting any sort of tip-offs to murders is he no but also

she can't sue she's not allowed to sue I checked that as well why who fucking knows he can't report murder she can't sue him it's just why is the most commonly asked question generally left unanswered I wonder I think that there's also a bigger conversation here around like if you were someone who's cheated on your husband or your partner and it's a once-off and you never ever ever plan on doing it again and you have made peace with yourself and you know that you're never going to do it again is it always the right thing to tell them no I actually again I feel like I'm opening myself up for some heat this week I think there are some situations where it's probably okay I think if you're in a rocky place you made one mistake one night which you deeply regret and

you're working towards fixing that and you know you have a family and whatever else I think there are certain times that it might be okay to not say that and get on with life I do but I know that's also controversial man it's so hard because like you know I know that from someone like my initial response to this is like I would want to know right I want to know I don't want there to be secrets I don't want someone to make a decision for me and I don't want to be in a relationship where there has been secrecy and I haven't had the opportunity to make my own decision 100 but then I've spoken to Matt about this in the past and Matt has said directly if you cheated on me if you were out drunk and you cheated on me and you never were going to do it again and it meant

nothing and you regretted it he was like I don't want to know because I don't want you to offload your guilt your feelings of betrayal and then ruin my views of our relationship because of something that you regret it's one of those things right it's it's so complex and so complicated and so individual to the relationship that you're in and the old Brittany I feel like I have changed actually it's so nice to reflect sometimes even from the four years from when the podcast started it's changed your perspective my perspective has changed on so many things the old me would have been like you fucking cheat on me once you're out the door because I was cheated on so many times and the old me would have said if you've cheated on me I'd want to know I don't necessarily feel

like that now and I'm trying to think of if Ben exactly what you just said Laura with like you and Matt reverse if Ben went out one night which I know he would never do but he made one big mistake and then was just pleasing me for the rest of my life and being a great husband going down on me every day riding me into the sunset if I could sit on his face every no but if he was so sorry I wouldn't want him to tell me because once that's there and that information is in the relationship whether you want it to or not it changes things it does it's always going to be in the forefront in in the background in your subconscious in you like it's it just changes things so I definitely do now think that there there are times and situations that you know

sometimes it's better to keep to yourself and you know what everybody is going to show up to this differently everyone's going to have a different opinion if you disagree with this that's okay like we are not saying this and thinking like that everyone is going to agree with us because I think it is a bit of a controversial opinion on cheating and cheating is so not black and white we all know that but I do think that sometimes there is this almost like like I said passing of the guilt passing of the responsibility like I feel so guilty for what I've done that you need to know because it makes me feel better but all i'm doing is making you feel shit in the process as well so i wonder if that plays a part in it but like i said i don't have

there's no rule there's no right and wrong what would it be if you reversed your situation so you said if you cheated matt wouldn't want to know what if he had done it once so if he had done it once i wouldn't want to know but if there was ever the opportunity that i might find out i would want to know because the problem is is that if you find out in a way for example like this instance finding out from the priest if you find out from a way that feels more disrespectful then I think that that is where it becomes just like just an absolute battlefield that you're never ever going to win so so like yeah hang on okay second question more hypotheticals part two you just said that you like repented when you were seven what did you repent at seven okay so my I have a very

interesting I would say no it's not an interesting relationship with the church it's not interesting at all it's a very stock standard relationship with the church where I was brought up Catholic we did everything we did reconciliation communion confirmation in year six I went to Catholic schools my dad is Irish Catholic and he was really set on us being brought up in the church yeah I actually didn't really know that I knew that you like popped your head in every now and again but I didn't know you were like no we were like straighty 180 yeah so we were really brought up within the church so when I was I don't know can I remember or like well like in year six or something no it's not even your six it's like you three or something you do

was she like eight years old yeah we were okay when you're like in primary school like in the in the first couple of years you do reconciliation you have to learn this whole thing and and you go up and you say the prayer and then there's a ceremony anyway you do reconciliation then you got to go every sunday and you repent your sins right in the priest box and you sit in the priest box and you repent your sins to the priest who's hiding behind the curtain so the thing is is like I mean, I don't think I was, I was always in trouble, but I don't think I was a particularly naughty kid. Right. I felt like, well, what do you have to repent for? Like, what's the things that I'm supposed to say that I did? So I always felt like I didn't have something to apologize

that was big enough. That was worthy of apologizing for, you know, like, yeah, I'm sure I was mean to my sister, whatever, like, you know, those sorts of things, like every kid, but I didn't have, like, I thought I needed to go to the priest with a specific thing every week. So like I stole something or I didn't so I would lie to the priest I would make up stories and I'd be like oh like you know I need to say that I'm sorry because I stole lollies from the corner store never did it oh my god never did it so I made up crimes so every week I would lie to the priest about what I'd done to then have to say our fathers and hail marys and everything do you think he knew no I think he thinks I was a fucking really naughty kid

did you ever did you talk amongst yourselves as kids about this kind of thing like do you talk to each other about what you repented or or that you lied like does anyone ever know have you taken that to the grave no i until now i ended up talking to my sister about it as like a as an adult and she thought it was really funny because she also did the same thing but her lies would be things like i stole my sister's hairbrush and didn't give it back or i'm so sorry that i didn't make my bed this morning because my sister was so well behaved and there i was like doing petty crimes at the corner store that weren't true did you ever steal something as a kid never i did the oh lie i stole some stickers from mrs gillis and she caught me do you know what i

did as a kid we were really healthy a really healthy family we weren't often allowed treats unless it was like we're on holiday or as a special event or a birthday or whatever and one of my friends was allowed any junk food she wanted and she always had that hubba bubba you know the bubble gum that came in a meter long yeah you could pull it out she always had that and we were never allowed to have it firstly it was sugar and shit secondly it was a choking hazard apparently my mom said and then like we'd always swallow it and you know the old myth that it gets stuck in your body for like 25 years probably still in there now so i remember you're not 25 anymore i know i really yeah sorry 36 i really wanted to have above and i remember we

were at like a target store and mom was going through the checkout and they always have the lollies at the checkout. And I was like, fuck it. Now's my time. So I took a Hubba Bubba and put it in my pocket and we almost left the shopping center. And I, I couldn't wait. I was so excited that I couldn't even wait to get home to try the thing that I stole. So I pulled some out and put them in my mouth. Mum goes, what are you chewing? And I was like, nothing. She goes, spit it out. So I spat it out and it was Hubba Bubba. She goes, where'd you get that from? And I had to tell her that I stole it. She walked me back inside in front of everyone, back to the lady, back to the counter and i had to tell everyone that i stole it i was so embarrassed and i had to give it back

and we had to pay for it and i've never but you know what good on your mom because i've never been more embarrassed but i never stole again because i was like i never want to feel this i had to tell everyone she goes tell everyone what you did and i was like i stole it i am humiliated for you i was a kid but mom's like you can't you cannot steal that is really good parenting it was good parenting i would do the same i would humiliate my children to prove a point but she's like if you know you're you're old enough to steal it you're old enough to apologize and give back and And I was like, fucking fair call. I didn't say fair call at seven, but fair call now.

All right. Well, there's something else I wanted to talk to you about. Have you seen any of the series Selling the OC? Oh, I know what you're going to say because I've seen this conversation going around. Hit me. Okay. So Selling the OC. Now, look, I'm not watching it.

But the reason why I want to talk about this is because the TV series has made its way into our Facebook group. there was a little discussion on the page about season two. There is a character, his name is Austin and he is married to a woman named Lisa. They have two daughters, twins. Yeah. And they have a little beautiful family. And Selling the OC, so you know, is like another version of like Selling Sunset. Yeah. It's a reality show. Now look, Austin, he was speaking to one of his friends and this is a theme that's come up a couple of times in the most recent episodes. He was speaking to one of his friends about how his wife is a bit baby crazy at the moment, how she's got baby

fever. She wants them to have another kid. He's not ready to have another kid after having their twins. Financially, he doesn't feel ready. Emotionally, mentally, whatever other reasons, he doesn't feel ready. And what he has said that his wife is doing is that she is baby trapping him. So basically when they're having sex, she is putting her legs around him and making him come inside her. Well, she called it a leg lock. He called it a leg lock. Okay. Have a listen to this. I love my life. I love my kids and wife. She's got baby fever right now, so she's been taking the legs and leg locking me. What do you mean? She works out legs all the time and then she just jujitsus you into a pregnancy. Yeah, that's exactly what she does. It's a jujitsu,

leg lock, sexual fucking thing. That sounds fun. No, it's fucked up. Now, there was quite the debate in the Facebook group about this as to who was in the wrong here. Should she be able to jujitsu him into having a baby? That was the question. And, yeah, I think it was really interesting in the Facebook group because it was really interesting to see how divisive everyone is and how people's opinions sat on either side.

I really wanted to get your opinion on this, Britt, and what you think and who do you think is in the wrong in this conversation around, one, about consent and, two, about this idea of baby trapping. yeah and my opinion has changed and it's gone back and forth my immediate opinion like without thought right you know when you read something or you hear something my immediate thought was that's fucked like you can't do that you can't wrap your legs around and trap them in at the crucial moment so they can't pull out and make him come inside you like at the end of the day that is not consensual if he was planning on pulling out it's really fucked yeah but then I

thought okay it's still fucked but it takes two to tango if you don't want a kid why aren't you wearing a condom yeah this is my question consent can change at any time we all know that and consent still matters doesn't matter if you've been married for 25 years consent still matters yeah I feel exactly like you do in terms of like my opinion flip-flopped when I very first heard it I feel like I have complex feelings around it because at the same time I think that there is so much responsibility on women to completely take ownership of fertility. Like men don't have to do anything. We have to do the contraception. We have to do the ovulation planning. We have to do the baby rearing and growing and everything else. Like the responsibility of that completely

falls on us. And so if you're having consensual sex, whether it's in a relationship or not in a relationship as a man, if you don't want children, then I think you need to take some responsibility for the contraception in that as well now the flip side of this is it's interesting how when it's reversed we are talking about it as though it's funny on a tv show like it was done in a very light-hearted way on this series the way they conversed about it i was like this can't really be a problem for you it was such a throwaway comment and i was sort of giggling with each other i was like i don't understand why you're delivering it like that i mean it seemed like he was taking it seriously but at the same time if this conversation was reversed and the genders

were reversed we would see this incredibly differently like it would it wouldn't be gray it would be very black and white if the story was that a man was pinning a woman down they're having consensual sex and then he wanted to come in her because he wanted to get her pregnant oh and i think that that's an important point to make around how one version of this story is black and white and one version is gray but i hate the term baby trapping because i think it paints women as being manipulative it paints women as being someone who's deceptive who's trying to do anything to get what they want. But at the same time, I really do think that men have to take some responsibility for their fertility. And if they are in a situation where they feel as though they don't

have control because the woman has the upper hand in it, wear a condom. It's very, very clear cut. And then you won't have to have this around pulling out or not pulling out because we all know that it's not, you can't, you don't just get pregnant from the final ejaculation. You can get pregnant from pre-cum, you can get pregnant. The pullout method is not a hundred percent. And so I think that that puts way more emphasis on like the woman being the bad person in this situation it's also so important to have both sides of the story right so his wife did also respond I think in the past few weeks I've decided that I don't want any more children well I've decided in the past few weeks that I do so I know you lake locked me and I'll keep doing it

I mean obviously it's irrelevant whether they're joking or not it's brought up a bigger issue that a lot of people are talking about and I think it's a really important issue to talk about which is the change of consent at any moment in any type of relationship so whether they meant to or not they've started a very important conversation off the back of it but they're both responsible in this situation and I feel like they're both in the wrong maybe not necessarily the onus isn't 50 50 but they both can't he can take some responsibility he also has to have a conversation with her and say you cannot do that anymore so the consent is clear and she needs to respect that because exactly what you said Laura it's a great point if this role was reversed these conversations

would be a lot more serious oh yeah we'd be we'd be throwing around sexual assault allegations beyond you know it would be such a different discourse that we would be having I think that this is a topic that's going to have some pretty polarizing opinions on it and it did definitely in the Facebook thread there was some for and against but I would love to know how people feel and where people sit on this and whether this is something that you think lies more with the female or whether it's lies more with the male in this instance or whether it's something that mutually they have full responsibility for and it sits somewhere 50 50 i would love to know if you're listening to this like please tell us what you think of it because usually we come up

with an end result where we feel pretty solid but in this instance i think it's like both people and both parties are at fault here yeah and i'm just thinking back over the years it actually makes me really really angry the narrative of when a guy says yeah but she fucking went got pregnant to trap him she didn't go and get pregnant like oh i mean yeah okay she did get pregnant but how did she get pregnant with his sperm totally and of course there are some women out there that purposely try and get pregnant for whatever reason i mean we remember the drake hot sauce saga do you remember the drake hot sauce saga oh fuck yeah yeah like there are of course there are going to be women in the world but this general idea of and it usually happens in younger relationships or

relationships that are quite new this is when i have heard people this sort of a commentary and it's when I don't like it. It's when maybe someone's dated for six months, she gets pregnant and people are like, oh my God, she got pregnant just to lock him down. Yeah, but even I think the issue with the whole Drake sauce saga, which I mean-

Drake sauce. Drake sauce saga. Drake gate. Okay, the issue with that is that is the minority and then it's used as a conversation to paint women as the majority. That's the problem, right? These things are few and far between,

but they are used and they are weaponized and I think that that is very misleading. it is time for our favorite part of every episode and i should just say tuesday episodes now and that is accidentally unfiltered all right i'm gonna kick it off i've done the most embarrassing thing when drunk on a hens so the night was going as planned we ended our night at the male strip show one i was very excited about all the bridesmaids got called on stage for a special show my task was to get into my favorite sex position so here i am in a mini dress with my bum hanging out in doggy with the male stripper pulling my hair making my best orgasm sounds your girl really

put on a show the girls have filmed it and in my drunken state i thought it would be a great idea to send it to my fun auntie that's never a good idea i reckon everyone has an auntie that you could send this to actually i don't my auntie would not appreciate this but some people do all right the fun auntie i wake up in the morning with the scaries you know the hangover scaries that you feel when you're like fuck what have i done last night and i checked my phone turns out i didn't send it to my auntie i sent it to my uncle the message had been read and he never replied what are you gonna reply to that looking good doll having a fun night sweetie no that's always where you control alt delete and pretend it didn't happen you do don't you just completely i wish you

could control alt delete your life like every so often when i do something wrong i'm like i just when you're drinking do not disturb get your phone off don't send it's never ever a good idea it's never a good idea okay many moons ago i was flying to new york after a sweet sweet week in cancun i can confirm i wasn't the healthiest way when hopping on that flight zero sleep and very hungover i'm sure something else as well about yeah about four hours into the flight i had to use the restroom as i was feeling sick luckily for me i was able to use one of the paper thin vomit bags to catch the spew whilst i was on the toilet pants down this was a lot of vomit however the bag breaks and the vomit spills out and lands in my undies i attempt to

shovel the spew from my undies into the sink slash bin slash toilet slash all of the above i quickly realize it's not working and proceed to rip my undies off into the bin as i was wearing just leggings but the cubicle was too tiny to attempt to move around in anyway success undies are off and i've been them moments later after i returned to my seat they made an announcement that they had to shut the toilet and advise passengers to only use the toilet up the front i single-handedly shut down the toilet mortified do you know what i actually semi sort of did this nothing like the person who had gastro on that flight that had to be redirected no this this rings like this it home for me because when I was in New York remember I've always told you guys that story

about I went overseas with my boyfriend of a couple of months we broke up like one week into the six-week trip right yeah the father first the father the first thing I did when we broke up was I went to New York and I did what anyone did and I was like fuck this I'm gonna go out on my own basically and get litty I'm not a big partier so I messaged one person that I knew from years ago that I knew was in New York it was a doctor I had worked with like eight years ago and I was like you're the only person I know this is my situation he's like oh my god yes I'll take you out like let's have fun so we went out drinking all night shots I don't do shots and then you know those shisha things like this yes why so I started to do those and I didn't know you shouldn't do those

I've never done them I started smoking those and I did that whilst I was drinking anyway my flight was 6am the next morning I got home at like 4am vomiting everywhere I get I almost missed my plane I get to New York airport and vomit on the floor of the airport and the vomit was like purple because of the shisha color so my I was project I can't believe they let me on the plane I was vomiting everywhere and it was like oh it was disgusting and got onto the plane vomited all over the toilet the bathroom floor had to scoop it up off the toilet floor of the plane but they didn't close the plane but that like this for me that was my worst travel moment in history so I really feel for this girl i once caught vomiting my own hands on a country link train heading to

wollongong and then had to drop it on the floor because i didn't really think through what i was doing and i was like did you drop it on the floor well i was like where am i gonna take this there was so much of it it overflowed already i just went straight into my hands and i was like didn't think to go to the toilet i don't it just came out of nowhere yeah that was me that was me in new york just hit me it's sometimes when it comes it comes it was after a kings of leon concert is that what they're called anyway oh so bad okay all right well look guys like we said we are doing things differently this week we have our interview tomorrow so you are getting not extra because it's the same amount of content but you're just getting an extra ep in your inbox this week which i'm so

excited about tomorrow's episode we are speaking about narcissism we're doing a massive deep dive into we're going to do this as a two-parter actually tomorrow's one is more around narcissism and dating what it's like if you're dating someone who's narcissistic how you can spot that how you recover from dating a narcissist and then the part two of this series that we're going to do is going to be all around inter-family narcissism so for example if you have a parent who is a narcissist if you've grown up in that type of household how you can deal with conflict within family members or if you're co-parenting with a narcissist when it's a situation where you can't get away from them yeah we're speaking to a woman called Nova Gibson who we absolutely love she's the author of

fake love and she's also has she also runs a counseling service fake love is understanding and healing from narcissistic abuse so Nova is definitely the woman to speak to on this topic and unashamedly Laura and I are like pretty obsessed with the topic of narcissism I think because we've got a level of lived experience but I just find it so fascinating I think even if I didn't have a lived experience the topic of narcissism everyone knows someone in their life in some capacity whether it's just a work colleague I feel like everyone is going to come across a narcissist in their life. And this is a really great tool set to have to go into these relationships so you know how to handle them. So it's a really great episode. I can't

wait for you to listen to it. And then I can't wait to do the second episode on the family narcissism. Yeah. And that's going to be dropping tomorrow on Wednesday. So guys, if you have any Ask Uncut, if you have any funny accidentally unfiltered stories, we are bringing accidentally unfiltered back. It's going to be on every episode. Send in your most embarrassing stories because we absolutely need them. And also if you haven't yet voted for us in the Australian Podcast Awards and you love Life Uncut and you want to give us a little vote, go jump onto the website. There is, if you type in Australian Podcast Awards, it'll come up. You can basically go on there, type in Life Uncut in the Listener's Choice Award. The reason why this is so important is

because, I mean, they give out heaps of awards, but it's very like political. It's very industry podcasty and the Listener's Choice is the one award that really matters because it's what you guys are listening to and it's the podcast that you love. So we would appreciate it so much if you would vote for Life Uncut. Don't forget, tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, to your friends and share the love because we love love