Life Uncut - Seeking Revenge on a Cheater & Are Dating Apps Addictive?

Episode Date: March 11, 2024

Hey lifers! Laura is ready to rave! She's got a week in her house solo for the first time since having kids and she's going to a school night party. What in the 37 years old?? Britt's bucking the latest trend but maybe you'll be interested in a merkin.  What length would you go to to get revenge on your friend that cheated with your partner? Would you attempt to take their eyebrows? Someone on the internet has tried and personally we're going for the passports. What's the worst thing you have done for revenge on an ex that mistreated you? There's a class action lawsuit going on in the states against dating app company Match Group (Hinge, Tinder & the League owner) claiming that they falsely advertise by saying that their aim is to get you off the apps and actually into relationships, when their algorithms are designed to keep you on the apps.  We unpack whether dating apps are designed to be 'gamified' and should be looked at as something that is addictive. If this is the case, should we be having more transparency over how the algorithms work like we do for gambling apps or alcohol? You can watch us on Youtube If you have an question please send it on it to life uncut podcast on Instagram Join us on tiktok Or join the Facebook Discussion Group Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! xxSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Life Uncut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands were never ceded. We pay our respects to their elders past and present. Always was, always will be Aboriginal land. This episode was recorded on Darug Walamutta land. Hi guys! Hi guys and welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I'm Brittany. Hi, Brittany. I can't believe we just spoke about that. Laura's going to a rave.

We're going to a rave. Who actually are you? I'm going to Fred again. It's not a rave. I mean, it's like rave-ish. Fred again is as rave-y as it gets in Australia. That's a rave. Fred again is a mosh pit rave where people are on pingas the entire night.

No, it's Tuesday. No one's doing pingas. Oh, you're so cute. People that do pingas don't care that it's a Tuesday. day also my kids are going on a pno cruise with matt and their mother like so my i don't even know have i told you guys you have said that your mother-in-law is moving in but she's officially in she's like in like she's so in now she's so in now that i feel like i'm being replaced already when matt went to vegas ellie came down to like give me a hand with kids but also like she came

down with seven boxes so she moved in then and she's not leaving now she's in forever well she's leaving she's going on a pno cruise so her and matt on tuesday which is when this will come out are leaving tomorrow and they're going on a pno cruise together and they're taking the kids and i'm not going and things getting weirder by the second that's the dream you get 10 days at home alone with no kids no husband no noise seven days seven days to go to a rave and you're raving the second they've gone, you're going to a fucking rave. You are actually out of control. I said no to the rave. Somebody asked me to go and I was like, I could think of nothing worse. And Laura's like, I'll go. To be fair though, if the kids were here and Matt was here and my mother-in-law was

here, I wouldn't be going to Fred again. But then the opportunity came, the tickets are so hard to get. And I was like, you know what? My kids are not going to be here. And so that is where I will be I have no reason to not live this life anymore so off I go to rave away on a Tuesday night we've got to record Wednesday morning don't we I'm gonna come straight in roll in you will know on Thursday if I've had much sleep or not can we just stop and make a comment actually on Tuesday's episode last week or Thursday whenever I don't know last week I made a joke said trends are in and trends are out eyeshadows out trend that's in is looking tired like pete davidson i made the joke that laura is going to be like

hitting the runways every day because she always looks tired man the people out there if you actually looked like that laura i couldn't make that joke because then it's not funny i'm so grateful to everyone standing up for me i have been so abused as a mother i'm so beat down i'm so tired and i look it i literally had to write this on i was like it's not funny if i have to explain this the thing the thing about our relationship though is like we have been doing this podcast for like five years we are literally like sisters now you know you can be so mean to your sister but no one else could say the mean thing that you say to your sister and you don't even mean it because if it was true you wouldn't say exactly it's not and literally a week ago I

said you've never looked better but people don't listen to that do they well that doesn't make fun content don't be nice to me be mean to me exactly anyway I'm cancelled because I told you you look tired. Something I wanted to bring up, which was on our social media at the moment. We spoke about it on Thursday and I know it's really lowbrow. It is so unbelievably lowbrow. And I feel like we should have moved on from it when we spoke about it on Ask Uncut. But I'm back here and I'm bringing it back again. Okay. One of the questions last week, which to us seemed so fucking obvious, the answer, it was around, do you pee in a pool? I know. Did I warn you that it was lowbrow wow we really are going back there okay but it ended up getting polled and like this

just took on a life force of its own and it turns out that 20 percent of you 20 percent of you dirty rat 20 percent of you are getting in pools and we and just doing your business in there and we are all shooketh and there are so many people now who are going to rethink anytime they get into a pool because of all y'all yeah getting into a pool in Bali is a really big life decision for me like I have to weigh that up with the humidity how hot I'm feeling am I dehydrated how much do I need to get in that pool because it is a cesspit yeah well that's what we've all learned now it's 20% we in 28% sorry producer I wouldn't want to rob 8% of you it's 28 also do you know this reminds me I remember reading something about the pools in Vegas and they're actually the worst in

the world not only are they wee but they're full of semen they're full of drugs everything sounds like a rave right again it's your tuesday night it's what you're gonna do on tuesday night no but the vegas pool's apparently like the worst literally in the world don't even think i need the statistics on that because i to me that sounds like yes i would agree 100 has matt come home a different color from being in vegas he came back really sad you know when you've been just giving and a nudge consistently and you've been not eating well you've been drinking you haven't been like behaving yourself and when I say that I mean like just not taking care of yourself and then you go through that anxiety for like the next week so he came back and he was just a little bit

sadder than what he normally is and now he's feeling better and he's off on a piano cruise tomorrow which tough life man I know who is this guy who does he think he is he's just holidays with his mom that's very clever because he's oh I'm I'm so good I'm taking the kids you're also taking a babysitter i can do the math two plus two is four he's actually he's heading away with his co-host on his podcast ash who's also taking his kids and they're going on like a little family trip and i'm the only one who can't go because work has coincided for me at a time where because the thing with the cruise is right like it's got a time that it leaves and it's got a time that it arrives you can't just join that holiday so unfortunately for me we've got some big things

happening this week and i wasn't able to go on the cruise which means i am home by myself the funniest part is I was like hey Laura we can definitely move that stuff around so you can go she's like no no don't tell Matt that I want to stay at home by myself because this is the first time since having kids like I mean Molly's almost five it's the first time in five years that I haven't been with my children but I've been able to be at home like usually if I have a night away from the kids or some time doing something I have to be away I don't know you're never ever at home in your own house away from your children they're always there and so this is like a week where i get to do all the dumb things that i want to do and i'm not talking

about going to raves i'm talking about like cleaning the pantry and like resorting towels on a tuesday she raves on a wednesday she does the pantry the life of laura burn hashtag balance i'll capture it all on social media for you so you can really come on the roller coaster that is the next week of my life so i um you know how last week we were talking about those trends the eyeshadow trend and there was another trend that i read and i don't know if i'm just being fed this shit now on my algorithm like i don't know yeah instagram knows that i like plants and you like trends i booked in last week and i went and got lazy hair removal because i have been like a wild animal for a very long time don't care the hair's there whatever but i've always front back

and crack yeah i've always wanted it gone but i never could be bothered right so i just do a wax every now and again but then when you wax you gotta let it grow back you don't know this i mean i think we've spoken about it once or twice but it shocks me i'm so deeply shocked by it every time we do discuss it that i feel like i need to bring it up brit can do a front to back full crack wax like she can get in there slap that thing down rip it off and she has waxed her entire front to back the hooch front back and side she she just can do it and it doesn't affect her it's like you make it sound like you're like end the crack spoiler my crack's not that hairy you make it sound like that's a real like venture must be nice there's no way in hell minutes i've got it down to

a fine art it is an art form by the way there's no way in hell if i tried to wax myself i'd rip off half a labia it'd be a cheaper labiaplasty come over to mine i'll do the labiaplasty no so I went and got my laser and then I walked out the door literally of the laser place I walked out the door scrolling on my phone and the first thing that popped up is this new trend big bold letters pubic hair is back I saw this it just hit the barris runways fashion these like see-through dresses and then these big bushes what am I gonna do now you'll be fine it'll just come back again it's gone it's dead it's lasered it's gone laser doesn't take that well like you've got to do several sessions it'll just come back a bit sparse like oh great so now it's just gonna be a little

spikes that poke out and it's not gonna be a bush well i did some further investigating have you heard of a merkin i have i have so for those people that want to be those people that want to be in fashion i've got a picture here for you it's a stick on bush yeah for those people that want to be in fashion and have a bush and you've lasered you can have a merkin you can stick it Look at that. Oh, Jesus Christ. Sorry. It's the rave's calling.

I've got to go to a rave. You can purchase it. I was thinking of purchasing this all one for the fashion summer. I can't wait. I have one already. I don't need to purchase one. This one has a mohawk. Okay, I'm not against this though.

It is aggressive to take something that is a fad, i.e. being hairless, so stringently that you're going to have it permanently removed because i remember i will never forget when i was like 18 years old and i decided to like shave it all off and there was nothing left and i grew up in a household with a mom shaving rash no no i don't get a shaving rash i'm fine no stubble i'm good but like i grew up in a household with a mom who had full bush and was like very happy to walk around the house so that was my only reference point of what and like a single mom you know anyway she full bush right and then i remember her walking in on me in the shower when I was like 18 and she was like what have you done like why

did you do that I was like mom this is what all the kids are doing it's in now like no one has what you've got sorted out but now I'm thinking that's a very drastic measure to have everything lasered off when it could come back around and maybe it is and I know that there's gonna be people who are like no keep me looking prepubescent and other people will say no I'm ready to just embrace all the hair look I thought about it I was like do I cancel my further laser clinic appointments and embrace the bush but it's not for me i've decided i've slept on it not on the bush because it's gone but i've slept on it and the bush is not for me i'm happy with the wax i'm happy with the laser i'm happy with smooth so that's my decision i think you can't wear a

bush out as an outfit either like a bush isn't an outfit pubic hair is not a substitute for pants no one is wearing it as a substitute that's yes that's why you can buy a merkin have you not seen the paris fashion show i have seen it but it's because it's controversial that that's why people are doing it not because it's actually like next summer's you know x new accessory is your pubic hair i think it is i don't think it is but also it means i'll be well in fashion because i've given up and so when i get to the beach what i do now is try and tuck it all back in i remember also we should stop being so offended by pubic hair it's just pubic hair exactly who cares all right well something i wanted to talk about i don't know if you guys have seen this this is going viral at

the moment now there is a she's like a eyebrow speaking of hair she's an eyebrow beautician right this woman yeah so she's posted something a dm that she's received from someone who's not a client but a friend of a client okay this is what it says julia hi my friend hayley is getting her brows done with you she has an appointment tomorrow at 5 p.m and i wanted to ask you to give her the worst eyebrows of her life i'll pay you triple the price better yet make them as thin as possible since she's trying to grow them out. The problem is that today I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with her on my birthday in January. And I'm really hoping for your female solidarity. Then Jewel Browse, who's the Instagram handle that is like the one who has posted this,

she said, I left the three of them to deal with it because it's none of my business. But if a friend of mine had asked me to do it at a higher price, then I would definitely have said yes. P.S. However, I hope this girl also thought of a decent revenge for her boyfriend. I mean, it's had a million likes so far which in terms of like comments and shares and whatnot it's gone absolutely rife across the internet but I think it's very interesting that the person who has written this is seeking revenge on the friend rather than seeking revenge on the boyfriend well she might be seeking on the boyfriend too we don't know that but that's pretty savage like it's one thing to cheat it's another to go for a woman's eyebrows like the cheating's here but the

The bar's really low if you're taking off a woman's eyebrows. They never come back the same. They never come back the same. We know that. The 90s did be dirty. Exactly. I would never. I don't have it in me to do something like that.

I would feel genuinely, and I'm not saying this, I would feel too guilty. Even if someone's cheated, I still would feel too guilty. I know. It's gross. Get it back, though. I hate it. I think that this is creative genius.

I want to be inside her evil mind. I want to be inside her. This is hot. well this to me is like I know that we should say you don't go after your friend and don't go after the female in that equation because at the end of the day the person who is really in the wrong is the guy like he's the one who made both are no they both are yeah and I think when it comes to cheating that there is the instance of when the other woman is a friend that's when the betrayal is so deep right that's when it kind of that's when my opinion on it changes because normally

I would say that often as women we don't go after the guy in the equation we go after the other female. And that is a misdirection of our anger. But when that other female is a friend, then I think, well, I think both parties need to take some of the consequences for it. Is it okay to enact revenge by something as superficial as eyebrows? No, it's not. But also like sometimes in life, you need to feel as though you have a little bit of control over a situation. I think that this is pretty fucking harmless. You think that's harmless? You ruin her life. I would do this i would do this would you not now but yeah in my 20s absolutely what about now okay the only reason why i wouldn't do this is for the fear of getting caught not because i was sorry it would

be for the fear that someone would post on the internet like this but actually name you laura burn julia yeah wipe off britney hockley's eyebrows take them off what would be your revenge if i had hooked up with matt which obviously guys never gonna happen oh i destroy your career i would destroy you but that's destroying your i would also destroy matt it'd be great to be fair if you hooked up with matt i think it would have destroyed our career anyway i don't think we'd still be podcasting it's like vanderpump rules scanned what do they call it sand scandal novel because it's a it's a pun don't worry um but is that even right scanned novel tom sand novel scandal scandal scandal because he cheated with

With Raquel, who has now changed her name to Rachel. Yeah, because her whole life's been ruined. But Ariana's come out on top. She's thriving now. But of course she is. And, Laura, that would be you in that situation. You'd be sailing into the sunset of the scorned lover. Yeah, the person scorned always comes out on top.

Also, that TV show, the ratings have never been better. So maybe if you do hook up with Matt, the fucking downloads, whoo, through the roof, baby. But I don't want to have to hang out with you every day. I'll do it with Keisha. Tom's life. Okay, I'm changing it. Keisha cheated with Matt.

We're fucked because I don't want to go back to editing this podcast. All right. Fucking hell. If you guys have done anything hectic revenge-wise, tell us. What is the – Have you taken someone's brows? What is the down, dirtiest, I don't even know what I'm saying, but what is the worst revenge thing that you have ever done to an ex?

Are we accepting illegal things? Yeah. Yeah, anonymous. We will keep you totally anonymous, but if someone's cheated on you, i want to know what is the worst thing you did to get back at them because that is some spicy shit do you know i was just too pathetic i was too scared i'd get caught the worst thing i did was what i did to my ex-boyfriend i was literally just about to name his full name and i was just about to roll off the top my boyfriend john smith still run into him every so often i snuck into

his house stole his passport i needed his signature and i needed oh my god everyone's face just dropped because it's actually identity theft and illegal okay look if you haven't heard this story I've told a really long time ago. So I'll tell it again. I bought tickets to go to the Philippines with him. We were going for my girlfriend's wedding and we'd been together for a year and a half and I was deeply in love and the bastard kept cheating on me, which I should have learned my lesson by then. But anyway, he cheated on me again. I found out about it and he wouldn't sign the paperwork to have the flights transferred over to my girlfriend, Kaya. So we were flying Cebu air, which if you're flying Cebu, no, it's a great airline because they allow you to transfer

flights into a new passenger name which most airlines don't let you do right i've flown with them before and everyone clapped when we landed and i was like that's not a sign for their marketing team i was grateful that we survived as well so really i did him a favor anyway we've broken up i wanted to change the flights over he was trying to get us back together and he was like i'm still coming we're gonna go on this trip and i was like you're a narcissist and you're not coming this is so unfair anyway and i had also paid for the flights so i called up his friend this was like I knew he was at work. I called up his friend who was his housemate and I was like,

look, there's some stuff at the house that I need to get. I don't want to get it while he's there. Can I come in and pick up my stuff? And he was like, yeah, sure. So I went to the house. I knew exactly where the passport was. I took a photo of the passport because they needed it to be able to transfer the flights.

I forged his signature on the documents. I submitted it to Cebu. This is more than 10 years ago. Motherfuckers don't come for me, huh? That law, that law made up. It is not a made up law. It's been 10 years. I'm safe.

I've heard it from someone, but it was 10 years ago. What are you going to do about it? And so me and my, you know, one of my best friends, Kaya, we had an amazing time in the Philippines. We flew Cebu. But did he know? Did he try and turn up to the airport for the flight? Yeah, he tried to turn up for the flight.

Couldn't get on, could you? What? This is genius. Yeah, he deserved it. He paid for it too. Also, identity theft. I paid for it. He cheated on me and he wouldn't transfer.

come on you owed me that can i tell you just just just to really show you how different we are my revenge you'd think i would want to do something like that i took all the toilet paper from his house so when he did a shit he couldn't wipe his ass that was as bad as i got it's pathetic it's pathetic can you imagine can you imagine me running out with toilet paper like like i've done the most were you 14 when he cheated on you how old were you i was a grown woman i just realized a revenge plot that we should have all done and i am not saying this publicly so yes you are if you tear remember my friend jake who got to the airport same time as you brit and he couldn't get on the flight because his passport had a slight tear in the picture

tear it rip a passport up guys we can't prove it's you guys we're not encouraging you to rip someone's passport no some of them deserve it some of them deserve it okay some of the behavior that people do to each other in relationships is worthy of not being allowed on a flight i agree with you produce keisha but i don't the last thing i want to say in this is that and i'm going to take it seriously for one second i think it's very important to remember that if you are on the shitty end of being cheated on don't enact your revenge on the other woman because 99 of the time it is not their fault even if you think there are temptress which i hate that word because it's not even a real thing even if you think that they're

the one that's like you know that they have played a part in this it is sorry i'm still laughing at temperature i know how are we in ancient greece but even if you think that they are at fault for whatever has happened like the buck stops with the person that you're in a relationship with cheating on you it is their responsibility to not give in to whatever kind of fucking wild urges that they had that is where your revenge should be sorry they don't deserve to have their eyebrows okay i actually disagree they can do a month hairless like it's not a month it doesn't ever grow back the same so we know how addictive the online world is right tiktok instagram uh online shopping i'm trying to think of what else i do online what else is online porn

hub there's a lot of addictive online websites but there are six people in the united states that feel that there is something else very addictive online now there's a class action lawsuit against match group now match group is the parent company of a multitude of online dating apps so i'm talking tinder and hinge and the league if you don't know what the league is i looked it up i've never heard of the league the league is a dating app that is i think it's on par with raya so you know how raya is that like very elite exclusive wank fest dating app well it's a version i love that you say wank fest and it's where you met ben 100 i can still say it's a way and jordan but i can still say it's a wank fest i always have it's embarrassing i hate saying

i was on it but i found it works it works the league is like an american version of that so it's very elite and you have to pay for it and it's exclusive and like i said it's a wank fest anyway these six people from around america are taking this lawsuit because they're basically saying calling bullshit on these apps they're saying that this is actually designed to be addictive and designed to take our money designed to keep us on the claimants have accused match of having a predatory business model, which is a pretty hectic word, right? That's like a hectic statement, a predatory business model and using recognized dopamine manipulating product features to get people addicted to their apps. Basically, they're saying that their apps are gamified.

I think this is interesting because one, I mean, firstly, Bumble hasn't been included in this. It's only Tinder and dating apps that come under the match group. And on reading this, I kind of, part of me goes, it's silly for this lawsuit to be raised. But the other part of me really started to unpack how maybe online dating is such an addictive thing. And I know that in some, in some sense, I'm like, okay, I think people need to take responsibility for the things that they are engaging with online, but dating apps and the way in which they keep you engaged, they keep you swiping, they minimize your matches so that you will keep coming back to find, okay, well, who have i match with now and this idea exactly what you said brit of it being gamified how that could be

seen as problematic well the lawsuit goes on to say harnessing powerful technologies and hidden algorithms match intentionally designs the platforms with addictive game-like design features which lock users into a perpetually pay-to-play loop that prioritizes corporate profits over its marketing promises and customers relationship goals i mean shock horror that somebody is saying that someone's prioritizing money over someone finding love we get that it's definitely a business match group have come back and said we deny that which obviously they're going to do I don't know how I feel about it I understand that there are addictive natures of online dating apps and I also understand it's a business of course they're trying to make money there does have to

be some level of responsibility on us I guess as the consumer as the person that's on the dating app I say that because there are so many different dating apps now that you don't have to pay for there are free ones there are ones without all the razzle and dazzle it's up to you to a certain level to decide what you do and don't want to do and what you do and don't want to pay and how far you want to go and I say that because you look at the most addictive things in life I'm talking sugar the pokies gambling but you still are in charge like those carrots are being dangled but there's got to be a level where you say, okay, I'm not going to do that anymore because it's a problem for me. Cause there are plenty of people that don't have that addictive nature

to dating apps. Absolutely. Okay. Not everyone who uses dating apps is addicted to dating apps. That would be a crazy thing to say in the same way that people who use pokies, not everyone is addicted. But I do think that there is validity in this conversation. Do I think that they're necessarily going to win the court case? I mean, only time will tell. Probably in America. Only time will tell. But I do not discredit that there are apps like Tinder and their main objective is not to get you a boyfriend. It is to get you to use their app. They're not in it for the self-consciousness of like, oh, we want everyone to be happy and in relationships. They're doing it because it's a complete business model. I think the part of this that I do agree with

is the visibility and the conversation around how addictive they can be. And the reason why I think things like gambling, things like drinking, like doing drugs, whatever it is, whatever any other addictive type of even social media. The reason why I think that they're different is because the conversation has already been had and there's legislations and there's procedures in place to try and minimize harm that it has on the users. Whereas when it comes to dating apps, I would say for the majority of people, they're not doing harm, right? But there must be a small population who are using them, who are trapped in a perpetual paying loop where they are not getting the fulfillment or they're not getting the real life relationships and connections that they so deeply

desire, but they are still being drip fed all of the reasons to stay on the app. And that's why they've become addicted to it. So, I mean, I do agree with you, Britt, that we do need to take responsibility, which yes, I mean, it seems superficial. It seems crazy that people would talk about being so addicted to an app that they would file a lawsuit but at the same time we are speaking from the privileged position of people who have never been addicted to something and so i think if you are in that space and you are someone who is so deeply addicted to dating apps it's kind of unpacking the how that happened to you is a really interesting thing to look at i mean of course it's a dopamine hit right like how many times have people said and if you're being

honest and you think about this now when I pose this question how many times do you go on a dating app because you just need to pump me up you're like I just want to get some matches and feel good I just want to talk to someone so many people go on apps to talk to people with no intention of meeting up because they want to get a dopamine hit and some validation and they want to feel good for whatever reason they want to compliment I don't know whose responsibility that is because if you're saying okay dating apps are made to be addictive and game like for sure think of when you go swipe on tinder how many of your friends are like can i play it's like a game can i play it is like a game but then are we supposed to attack match group or whatever whoever we're

talking about are we supposed to attack tinder for making a situation that we're going to do anyway we are going to go online dating whether online dating looks like a list from top to bottom of people that you can pick or online dating looks like a swiping game. What they're trying to do is say, you know what? Yep. Let's make it fun. Let's make it engaging. Let's make you want to do it more. Is that the worst thing? Because I don't think it is. I would rather have fun with my online dating than it be a chore where I've got given a list of 50 people and I just scroll down and have a look at their age and their location and then pick one. Well, I would argue that yes, because the thing is, is that that type of dating does exist, right? So eHarmony, for

example was around long before tinder was there's been many dating sites plenty of fish plenty of fish and they work on that model they work on more of a transparency model they do not have the engagement of something like tinder and that's because you are playing a literal game it's the same reason why things like candy crush or whatever else become popular because you know there's a reward system that's attached to it snake two and three yeah but the thing that's different about online dating is that you also and it's probably the more interesting part is that you have someone's ego, you have someone's emotion, you have someone's personal investment attached to it as well. So you're not only getting the reward of like, you've got a match,

you're also getting the validation, which you get across social media, like the likes, the engagement and everything else. Do I look at online dating and go, oh my God, it's such a big problem. Someone needs to stop the mass addiction that's happening. No. And I think if it was causing a deep issue in an overwhelming amount of people's lives, we would have seen more of this earlier because online dating has been around for so long. But I definitely think that for some people who have addictive personalities, I understand how and why they would become addicted to dating apps. And I also can understand how someone who may have no chance of meeting someone on a dating app can get stuck in that cycle and that they end up just being in a situation where

they're paying endlessly for an app that they are addicted to, but they're not able to transfer those internet connections to real life relationships. It's made to be game-like because our attention span as a generation is minimal. It's why TikTok existed and crushed Instagram. It's why Instagram started to do these mini reels because people don't want to have any attention for longer than a minute, two minutes. So you want that quick. But you say this as though people don't want to have attention.

People do want to have it. People do want to engage with things longer. we have been groomed because of algorithms and because of the way these apps work we have basically de-evolved as a population because we have been influenced by the quick succession of content that's why i'm saying it's a snowball whereas they all just have to keep up with each other so then who's at fault for that is it us and the way we engage with content or is it the people who are creating incredibly powerful algorithms that we can't possibly work against Like, I guess why I do think that there is some legs to this is because it happens in

every instance of life now. It's across social media, it's across ads online, it's across dating apps. It is unrelenting how much everything within a digital space demands your attention. We did such a good episode on this with Johan Hari last year, all around stolen attention. And he speaks about how you're almost powerless to the types of apps that are out there because they have the smartest people in the world who are creating the most advanced algorithms that exist. And their main purpose is to keep you using that app for as long as possible. And I guess the only reason why part of me comes back to this, this lawsuit and the idea of dating apps and why

I think it's a really interesting conversation to have is because I do think that there is a lot of secrecy when it comes to the algorithms on these sorts of sites. And so no one really knows what it is that's being put into them that makes you want to stay longer. And I guess this idea of it working on a dopamine reward system on an almost gambling metric where you don't know what you're going to get. It's this roulette of matches, but the algorithm knows, it knows exactly who you've matched with. It knows exactly who's coming up and it's creating this sort of roulette wheel for you so that you stay on that platform for as long as possible. And I guess when all of your marketing is based around this idea that we're trying to get you off the app and get you into

real life but the actual mechanics of the system are to keep you on there longer that's where it's like well this is false advertising but i think of the really specific parts of the apps that gain extra money where they don't have to when you're in a flurry everyone knows right now you're on a swipe fest right pump pump there's no more people left in your area no hit that quite a few times no you're pumping through right and you've said no to so many people because i used to say no to 100 and then yes to one but you said no to 100 people then all of a sudden your finger's gone to you got trigger finger it's gone too fast you've seen someone that you would have said yes to but you swipe no a lot of apps to go back and find that one person you have to purchase a go

back so things like that back in the day you just shook it and it went back yeah it used to be free but you could only go back one right but now a lot of them charge to be able to go back so you either pay to go back or you're stuck on there for an infinite amount of time until you go through them and that person comes up again so there's stuff like that that i think is rubbish like i think that if you want to do an overall pay for an app whatever for to upgrade but that little stuff should be included i would love to know if there's anyone out there who feels or has felt as though they're addicted to using dating apps i would love to know from a personal experience what was the situation surrounding it like why did you feel addicted to it because i think that they're you

know there may even be situations where you don't think you're addicted to using a dating app but if you're on that for four or five whatever hours a day swiping until there's no one left in your area there's a good chance that that crosses the line of it being something that you're using to fill a void verse being something that you're actually addicted to using see what I find the most interesting about that is that most of the time when people have an addiction to anything particularly substances they wouldn't class themselves as an addict they think that they're in control of making that choice australians for one have the worst gambling addiction in the world i firstly don't think that many people would identify as having it but it's probably because

they haven't thought about the fact that it's actually addictive totally you think about poker machines you think about i open up my sports bet account and you get so many warnings before you even put your credit card details through about how addictive gambling is and are you on sports bet yeah yeah but even on alcohol you think about there's there are warnings on absolutely everything that we deem to be a problematic thing in terms of addiction in Australia there are no warnings on dating apps and it's probably because people haven't thought about the fact that they actually are addictive things well I guess the bigger conversation around whether something is or isn't addictive is is what's the impact that that's having on your life because when you

think about gambling the impact is immense the impact is destructive and it is family relationship and personal destroying and with substances also substances anything that can have like a financial impact when you think about relationships and you think about online dating it is so arbitrary to try and really reduce down well what is the social impact that that is having on an individual person because they're sitting on their phone all day swiping what they have less friends they have less time to chat to their parents they're not getting out and going to the pub like the social impact is so difficult to quantify that i think that that's why no one's really sat down and gone well how is this affecting us except for these six people in the states who i mean they sue for

everything over there but it's also because they think that what they're trying to do is get love yeah do you know what I mean instead of it being a high from a substance what they're trying to achieve is a connection with someone you know I think back on when I was on dating apps I didn't realize it wasn't only playing into a reward system it was also playing on my emotional system of the like my desire for a relationship so it's the same as you Brie I don't have a problem with the fact that this is how the dating apps work but I think that we have lacked a huge amount of understanding that they're not as virtuous as what they make out they make out that it's like all about us finding love and connection and that's maybe not so much the case okay it is time

for accidentally unfiltered it is your most embarrassing stories so I was texting my therapist after I had been to an appointment to say thank you for everything that they had helped me with and I wrote thanks baby I only meant to reply to the message with thanks and then somehow the predictive text did me dirty and my fat fingers added baby in and i hit send before i realized i quickly sent another message trying to cover it up that there really is no coming back from calling your therapist baby you definitely cannot call you thanks baby you can't call anyone baby that's not your baby i literally did this the other day to our big radio boss like the big big baby no hey baby but i i just you know when you turn your db db the bigger boss

you know I'm just firing messages and I'm really bad for just going kiss kiss kiss at the end like I just go kiss kiss at the end and I actually do it a lot in business emails too like I'll be speaking to someone that I have no idea of and I throw a kiss at the end and I'm like oh this is the problem when you run your own business you forget what business etiquette is because I do the same I call everyone lovely I send kisses and then I emoji kisses anyway so I sent him kissing everyone left right and center hey baby I'm sending this message and I did three kisses and then I immediately realized so I wrote back straight away ha ha ha so sorry didn't mean to send that it was just such an automatic thing radio sounds literally never heard back room I

was like I've got a meeting with HR this week so maybe it's about that I mean if it makes you feel any better I didn't do it to DB but I did to Tony I called him honey okay I've got one thanks so much honey this one is um I'm I want it to be known I'm reading this verbatim this is okay i don't like the use of this word neither that's why i do not like it i'm reading verbatim this is what the listener wrote my partner of eight months absolutely loves eating the puss puss and who am i to deny him anyways one time he was just going for it and i came so hard that i accidentally farted right in his face i can't i can't call it the puss the puss puss he gave a little snort of laughter and just kept going as if nothing happened what a guy

yes you plow right through i just covered my face with a pillow afterwards refused to acknowledge the existence i'm too old to care now i think that's brilliant you're too old to say the puss puss yeah if you're too old to call it what it is well it's a pussy you know what okay no i i don't think that there is a good alternate word for a vulva there's no good word for it we do not have like yeah but i guess you say cock or penis or dick or whatever but pussy's just not it doesn't land for me okay what is it hey go down to my pussy hey go down to my vulva sorry it's all the doesn't land i know i know it doesn't it doesn't land what do you say nothing i just don't refer to it get out of there hurry up it's been eight minutes before we go it's suck and

sweet time highlight low light so my suck this week is that i was at the beach with delilah and it was packed right yesterday all my stuff is revolved around Delilah I get I don't have a lot of people don't come for me I was at the beach with Delilah and I could see her running around to this different area that she never goes to and she was acting a bit erratic and Delilah has this thing where she drinks a lot of salt water and I was like get spitty bum oh I was like oh no she's going to do a poo and this beach was packed and it was on the rocks it wasn't sand it was it's like the European rocky vibe anyway I saw her the European rocky vibe and I was like calling out i was like delilah quick here here here because i could see what she was going to

do she ignored me she went up i reckon 60 centimeters 230 centimeter rulers away from this man that was on a rock and squirty bummed the whole rock i've never been more mortified my life like this was like opening the butthole and it was coming out like a fire engine because she drinks so much water so i had to i had to go up and i was like i'm so sorry and i had a bucket of water i just tried to like wash it away if he wasn't just going to get up and move he did to sit he goes he goes it's fine it's fine and then got up and walked away and i was like i'm so embarrassed that was my son i would have just pretended like it wasn't my dog you can't every nah it was my dog she was attached to me everyone knew it was my dog i couldn't fake it it's so

gross my suite was literally just having the best weekend at the beach with jelilah it's so simple it's so nothing but we just swim together and we play around and we just have the best time that's what it's all about so my suck and my sweet are kind of the same thing so on thursday last week we for tony may we did this like team building exercise 99 i don't know what that's from but i've been quoting it for like the last week and no one can tell me it's not it's from a tv show team building exercise 99 anyway we had a cute team building exercise for tony may where we took all our staff because everyone has been talking about wanting to get more piercings so we booked into this piercing place down the road from our shop we had like a really cute team

night where we went had margaritas and stuff afterwards and um you should have the margaritas first no you apparently can't because then you bleed more so you can't feel it you can't like have a few drinks and then go get tattoos or get pierced is apparently the rule we had to sign consent forms right you know anyway so we didn't force people to get their ears pierced but there was like 11 of us everyone wanted to get something pierced and i wanted to get actually i didn't know what i wanted but i got two helixes on one side and i want to get my it's called the the conch i want to get like the inside of my other ear pierced wow you're hectic yeah i'm bad you're ready for that rave i got seven piercings i know how to rave i have more than that i have four

five six seven eight i have nine piercings now anyway i'll tell you what my suck is first please do and the woman was and i was like i want two helixes here in the middle and she looked at my ear and she goes do you want me to just stick an earring through the one you already have and i was like what and she's like do me just stick a earring through the hole that you've already got there she's like the skin's a bit closed over but i can stretch it and put it I have no memory none zero not a single not even after she told me I even went back not a single iota of a memory of getting my helix pierced and she was like it looks like you had it done maybe like you know 10 years ago or so I got an ear piercing and forgot in my 20s and completely

forgot about it that is funny zero fucking memory so then I went into a bit of a spiral but funny yeah yeah exactly I went into a bit of a spiral around like my brain and the in my inability to remember things and whatnot so I was like yeah sure save me some money so she stuck an earring through that and then I got my second it was still went through she didn't have to re-pierce it she just had to stretch the hole so like I've obviously worn an earring in it for a period of time and I do not remember I must have taken it out maybe it got infected maybe you wanted it to close I don't know who knows who who knows and what's your sweet you got 25 who knows who knows anything about what I did in my former life then I know my sweet for the week is just that we had such a really nice

team bonding thing and I'm and then you know I don't often talk about Tony May on here because I kind of feel like I live two separate lives but I'm have the most amazing team with that like there's such good girls like it's such an awesome group of people we probably a year ago had some real big dramas with staffing and it was just like such a suck and such a drain on me and considering you know when you have a bad culture in your workplace it just takes the absolute life force out of you oh I know and it took us a little while to get it back to being in a place of being amazing and it was going up at dinner the other night and I was sitting there and I was looking around the table at all of our amazing staff and I just had this real moment of like I'm so proud

of this team it's so so great that's really cute we need to do a team meeting I mean a team night with Life Uncut because we actually have a team now do you know what we are gonna do we're gonna do a tarot card reading night it's been in the works for a while we're gonna get all your fortunes read can we just talk about how far you have come because on this podcast for the last five years i have been pro tarot pro ghost pro future pro everything and you've been like this biggest skeptical i've ever met and now you want a tarot night like i almost feel proud like my little girl spreading her wings i'm a good witch you're you've become a good witch i want to i want to have my fortune read look into a crystal ball cover me in crystals in the moonlight keep posted

for our tarot night that's all happening anyway guys that is it from us you can follow us on social media at life uncut podcast you can join the discussion group also please send us your revenge you know whatever you did to an ex to get back at them for being a dirty dirty doll we're not encouraging new stuff but if you've done it in the past we want to know about it and that's it from us guys don't forget to mom say dad play dog take friends and share the love because we love